That is correct. But a person could do tolerating uncertainty around things like not doing excessive research about what different faith traditions claim about what happens after death (if the purpose of such research is to try to reduce anxiety by information gathering). So even if the outcome is uncertain, there may still be things that people do to try and gain a sense of certainty.
Not looking at the clock in the middle of the night was a good uncertainty experiment. And it was hard at first, to give up looking over at that clock, cause I want to know exactly what time is, and then prepare for how dysfunctional and tired I will be all day, and how my life will fall off the rails cause I won't sleep for the next three days, cause the clock says 3am and I'm not sleeping. I gave up keeping track of that clock at night, and my life is so, so, so, much better. Nothing bad happened when I gave up control of the world overnight and been sleeping like a baby.
Hi dr rami I can actually pin point when my worries started I decided one day after school on Friday that I was going to take the weekend off worrying and then when I got home from school my mother said I had a hospital appointment the following week so I thought from that day on if I worry lots I might be more in control of problems wrong but try telling my younger self that thanks for the advice worrying is exhausting
This makes me want to write out a list of situations I’ve worried about that turned out fine as a reminder that my intolerance to uncertainty didn’t help or change anything other than add unnecessary stress
This is truly amazing. I’ve just realised I experienced a massive traumatic event in my early years(10-12). I couldn’t tell anyone for fear of how they’d react and shame. It was the uncertainty of being exposed (since someone took an unauthorised picture of my body and sent it to someone who would expose it) For 3 years I was uncertain but ultimately knew those people didn’t like me and would come out. I kept ruminating and catastrophising everyday. When they came out I got beaten and isolated for fear of shame etc. till this day i have realised those feelings of uncertainty trigger those same feelings somatically arise. It’s plagued my life and avoid uncertainty at all cost. I can’t help but despise uncertainty. But i have now acknowledged this and can’t wait to work on this and get uncomfortable because i don’t want to be paralysed by uncertainty’s
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I have done more videos on intolerance of uncertainty and plan to make more in the future, so I hope you'll check them out.
Dr Rami I am from India. You are a gem. I keep on ruminating about something very absurd. I got admission in my grad college through a competitive exam. The results came online, but an official result used to come through post mail. Due to some address issue , that mail never came. When i took admission in college, they gave me admission but asked me to submit the official result. 4 years passed , i graduated from college and got my degree. But now i remember that i never submitted that doc, neither the college bothered. But this fear keeps on popping that at some point of time , the college will call me cancel my degree and my whole life will be over and i will feel a terrible shame and i will be called a fake. I sound ridiculous, but i cant do but think about it again and again
I am so glad to have found your videos; I'll watch every one of them. The terror in my life for the last few years is catastrophic fire. I've got adrenal fatigue from that stress and other things. My late husband and I lived in the middle of the 2017 Thomas Fire in southern California. Global warming and 150 years of suppressed natural fire has left us all with a bomb. My brother and I are in one of the ten most extreme fire danger areas in Oregon. Preparation to the best of my ability is the first comfort I have. We have a limited income, love our home and 15 acres. We've thinned out most of our woods, done a lot of mowing, and have cut down most of the fire ladders. Luckily we're both fit, mostly in good health, and do it all ourselves. I've spoken to all our neighbors, and we're all ready to help each other if we can. Our buildings need significant changes for more fire-resistance, but our funds won't pay for everything at once. Year by year I'm praying we'll be spared one more season while we get a little more fire-resistant. I've prepared my evacuation items; I've videoed our property for the insurance company. Four years of yoga and meditation help. I'm on supplements to heal my adrenals. I get some comfort too from practicing stoicism, and take dance classes for fun. All I can do now is surrender to whatever happens. I won't be able to save much, but I'm ready to let go and drive out. It's a Chinese (I think?) saying: "Barn's burned down. Now I can see the moon." It's a peculiar, comforting mantra.
Hi Dr Rami, Thank you so much for all your excellent video’s, they are helping me so much to understand about worrying about things that never happened, I have been this way for about 65years, have finally got a bit of hope that I scan change my way of thinking. 🇬🇧👍
Hi Violet - glad you found the videos helpful. That's exactly why I started making them, in the hope that the information would be useful to people. Thanks for supporting the channel!
I can’t express to you how much I appreciate your content. I never comment on RU-vid videos, but you’ve help me adjust my mindset in dealing with uncertainty in life.
@@DrRamiNader I read about how people deal with fear. Their perspective is a growth mindset or a fixed mindset. You explain things so clearly. I wondered if you have a video that discusses that.
@@DrRamiNader Never mind....I think I found the answer as I went back and listened to the talk about procrastination and uncertainty. Thanks again. The way you explain things is so easy for me to understand. I am literally in tears right now. I am most grateful.
I find that with these videos I really need to watch them twice. The first time to sort of plant a seed to sort of think about and then the second time days later to come back and listen again how to implement. I am not sure. Does anyone else have that?
It's led to my severe OCD. I realised that I can't handle not knowing or being in control of everything so I use OCD. It makes me feel like I have control but it actually takes it all away because you become a slave to it. It a paradox. You know it's illogical but you have to do it. Becoming used to uncertainty is key to living with it
My psychologist told me to do these experiments but I really didn't understand the way she explained it. Thanks so much for your video, it's a lot clearer now! I feel more able to start
I am probably going to repeat something you said in a different way: I find that releasing one's demands for results is huge. If the only way to be happy in an situation is to have my expectations met, an unreasonable burden exists. Hence, if X is the only acceptable result, and Y is the actual result, I have lost control, failed, and can slide off the edge. Billy Joel had sage advice "leave a tender moment alone".
You are absolutely correct Joe. I've talked about that exact same point in other videos. Thanks for your comment and thanks for supporting the channel!
I suffer with GAD and have intrusive thoughts OCD and was told I have a lot of intolerance of uncertainty which comes from assumptions on social media. These are really helpful when my anxiety plays up. Thank you so much
THANK YOU, that's what you left out in your popular lecture of generalized anxiety, because you explained what it is but you didn't tell us how to overcome it, that's why I suggested you do a video about it when you asked for suggestions.
Glad you found it useful. There is so much to managing worry and so many tools one can learn about, it takes a while to explain it all. That's why this video series is going to be more than 10 videos.
Dr Nader, I find your videos really great and very informative. I have been struggling with hypochondria for the past 30 years and I have had a thousand times where I thought that my symptoms were cancer and it always turned well. (I am 60 today). But it hasn't really helped me build confidence that my predictions were not accurate. It usually starts with a symptom (type 1 worry I presume) and then i start building the most negative scenario (the difficulties of treatments, dying, my family never recovering from the loss) and thats type 2 worry I think, so I immediately seek doctor's advice, have tests that turn out negative but it has never helped me become convinced that it always turn out okay. And my therapist always advises not to check with tests or doctor's appointments because it is perpetuating my anxiety. Now if I should do your number one way of managing the uncertainty, I would have to run the tests and see that it turns okay. But it never worked for me, and at every new uncertainty experience, I get convinced that THIS time will be the one when things turn negative. Now if I had to apply the 2nd way you describe, and ask myself what I would do if I were more tolerant of uncertainty, then I wouldnt run to be checked at the occurence of any symptom and I would wait and see. But I think it would be hard for me. What do you think about my experience? I have watched your videos 1 to 5 and will be continuing, there are really great and I hope you'll go on expanding your channel.
I would suggest you follow the advice of your therapist. In the situation you describe, tolerating uncertainty would mean not checking or seeing the doctor to get reassurance. It's not the behavior that defines if something is intolerant of uncertainty, but the motivation behind the behavior. So if I'm avoiding seeing the doctor when I have symptoms because I'm afraid they are going to tell me there's something seriously wrong, tolerating uncertainty would mean making an appointment to see the doctor. If, everytime I have symptoms, I make an appointment right away to see my doctor to get reassurance that there isn't something seriously wrong, then tolerating uncertainty would mean not making the appointment and seeing what happens.
Thank you so much for your videos in this series Dr. Rami. I’m 41 years old and now looking back have avoided so many things (driving is the big one) but never really understood why. This is truly life changing and I’d put off even things such as calling the doctor due to feeling embarrassed and/ or judged. Could intolerance of uncertainty also be linked to low self esteem? I feel there is a connection between the two in my life. I am using your tools and am feeling more tolerant/ confident each day. Thank you again.
That's awesome! All of these tools take practice, so you'll have to give it a bit of time before you start seeing the benefit. Good luck and let us know how it's going.
What if 95/100 it IS a bad outcome? This is what happens for me.… it is VERY hard overcome the anxiety and panic that comes with it....there is a correlation with the action in this situation so i am trying to use THAT as the focus to tolerate the uncertainty
If 95% of the time things turn out badly, then the emotional reaction is not the problem. The problem is being in a situation where 95% of the time things go wrong.
Crazy you are making these when I got anxiety lol. I liked your anxiety presentation, I had it on my watch later for months and just watched it a couple days ago. The assurance has helped so far. Thank you for all the information
I did a triathlon, I never thought I could do one. But with 6 months of training, I managed it even having manflu on the day. My gym instructor told me to chose a goal that i was unfamiliar with, so I did.
Hi Thelma - thanks for sharing. That's the kind of thing that I'm talking about in this video. Tolerate the uncertainty, attempt something you're not sure you can do (or that worry tells you you cannot do) and see what happens.
@@DrRamiNader the beauty was looking backwards after the event, nearly 12 months ago now, 15th September 2019. The event itself was the reward for all the training I had done, the event got me in the pool, gym and on my bike for a solid 6 months. The training was the cake, the event was the icing on the cake. I nearly didn't do the event due to illness a few days leading up, but I couldn't live with having to wait another year. Now with covid, that wait might have been 2 years or maybe never. Hopefully that makes sense. Thanks for your time and the vids. 👍🏿
Makes perfect sense. I had a very similar experience running a local marathon in May 2019 and, through a remarkable serious of events (a number of "happy accidents"), I ended up running the NYC marathon in November 2019. It's amazing what can happen when you step out and push yourself to do things that you otherwise wouldn't typically do.
@@DrRamiNader Definitely and well done. Something else that helps me is the result isn't important. No one else cares about my result, so why should I? Good enough is good enough, seems the process is the key, result is whatever it is. King procrastinator out. 👍🏿
Hi Dr，thank you for your videos. I have a question.I know that I need to become more tolerant, but where is that borderline, and at what level of tolerance is it safe? And we can't know the exact probability of something happening, we can only rely on our feelings.
You are correct. So the idea is to try and see what happens. Sometimes it will turn out badly, but that also gives a person an opportunity to see that they can cope even when bad things do happen.
Doc What a great question! What would I do if I were more tolerant of uncertainty? I will use that mantra. Question: I wonder if people who worry buy more lotto tickets? At some point, the numbers will happen. That is kinda why I continue to worry.🤔
It’s nice to hear some helpful input without New Age music playing in the background along with visualization messages. I can’t listen to those. They make me more anxious.
That's never been my style. There are a lot of different approaches in psychology and the reason I like cognitive behavioral therapy is that it explains what's going on with practical tools to address it. Glad you found the video helpful.
Hi Dr. Nader, Very useful video. I had a presentation of my study about the role of Intolerance of Uncertainty in the psychological negative impacts of COVID pandemic at the University of Western Australia and presented the ways you suggested for increasing tolerance of uncertainty. Would really appreciate if you create a similar video for perfectionism too. I'm sure that would be very practical and helpful too. Thanks again :)
Dr. Rami, you have given me a good overview about anxiety. Thank you. I started an online CBT in Toronto. I’m at the first step. Application has asked me to set a smart goal. (Simple...Manageable...). Unfortunately I have a little chance to describe my whole story and I’m wondering how can I make sure I’m setting the right goal. I’ll try to get help from them. But I chose overcoming intolerance of uncertainty for some extents(from 9 to 6 in one month. I am certain about my GAD. My question is whether or not the I.U is the source of anxiety? ( specially type 2). Or I U might be a result of a deeper cause? Should I find the reason I.U. Is so strong in me? Should I set my goal for that more original cause? Is there such a thing? And... I fully get the idea of I U but why some people have it and some others don’t ( or have more tolerance)? Is it genetic? Do we learn it in life? Thanks
There are a lot of factors that can contribute to anxiety and IU - life experiences, genetics, temperament, learned behaviors, modelling from parents etc. When I do therapy with my clients, my focus is less on where the problem came from and more a focus on what is maintaining the problem. You may never be able to find out exactly why you have a particular anxiety condition, but you can focus on the things that are maintaining the condition and make changes in those things.
I strugle with worry and anxiety when I sit and study or read books, sometimes even before studying I feel a lot of anxiety, so my problem as i think is trynna understand very well what i'm reading or studying without missing any information and this makes me very anxious and exausted. could you please tell me which type of axiety i am suffer from? and how can i be aware of my worries? can I use the worry dairy you gave us in the video of worry awareness? thank you for your precious efforts to help us
Hi - I can't comment on what type of anxiety you might have, but you can certainly use the worry diary from an earlier video to become more aware of what you are worrying about.
In situations where people's negative predictions are always right, it means that there is something wrong with their environment. If that is the case, the worries aren't excessive, but represent what is actually going on. So the person would have to focus on making changes in their environment rather than trying to eliminate the worry.
So, I get triggered easily…but in my experience, I’m right a lot of the time…does that mean I’m not so intolerant of uncertainty but just don’t listen to my intuition?
In a situation like this, the goal would be to think about all of the intolerant of uncertainty behaviors that a person might do in these situations (e.g., seeking reassurance from partner, calling to check where they are, snooping their messages) and eliminating those behaviors.
I've done some videos on building tolerance to uncertainty and you can find one of them here: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-UL8ayC0Fe9Y.html
I have 2 examples of toleration experiments: 1) refrain from making the pointless comeback remark on social media. 2) To just stop in the evening, and have a quiet conversation with my wife without doing the busy work that I believe makes my life worthwhile. Actually 3)! I'm not going to reread and edit this comment
That is a complex question that I can't really answer. There is a big difference between worrying about suicide and being actively suicidal. For example, if I worry that if I don't get control over my anxiety, some day I might become suicidal is a lot different than actively having thoughts of killing myself and worrying if I'm going to do it.
So that would be a type 2 worry (a worry about a future or potential problem). The worry management skills that I am presenting in these videos would apply to that type of worry as well.
This sounds like a type 2 worry. So there are a number of tools to better manage this type of worry. In terms of IU experiments, I encourage my clients to think about all of the things they do to try and keep themselves "safe" and to try dropping some of those safety behaviours. A person can also work in challenging beliefs about the usefulness of worry and cognitive exposure as needed. You can find more information here: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-nr68o7eBmBQ.html
@@DrRamiNader Thanks for your response. I failed to mention I am immunocompromised so there is a real risk about having a negative outcome from COVID. Do you still suggest the approach for type 2 worry when there is an actual health issue that I cannot stop worrying about? Thanks in advance.
Every day I'm terrified of going to work and go anyway. And each morning I'm just as terrified of going, regardless if I went to work or not the previous day.
I have replied to you a number of times. Maybe it's a translation issue, but I don't know what you are asking and don't know what question you want me to answer. If you ask me a question I understand and can answer, I will answer it.
Day one ticked off! Your explanation of intolerable of uncertainty made me really take stock of my triggers/bad habits for worrying consciously and subconsciously. Tried your exercise and can't explain how much joy ot have me when I reviewed the situation after and realised I had nothing to worry about. Tonight's job is to start a journal as I have seen.lots of suggestions as it helps process our thoughts. Would.love to hear your opinion on keeping journals as a tool to help anxiety
My intolerance of uncertainty has driven me close to the point of suicide. I’d rather deal with the certainty of death than the uncertainty of life I found this video at a very very bleak time in my life and I’m so glad I did. I’m going to put my intolerant worries to the test and see what happens and systematically expose myself to enough uncertainty that it no longer drives me to the brink of suicide. Thank you so much. I haven’t felt hope in so long I could cry. Thank you! I’m so grateful to have seen this. I love it when the universe gives me exactly what I need exactly when I need it. Thank you!
I'm glad you found the video so helpful. I have a few videos about intolerance of uncertainty, so I hope you will check them out and find them helpful as well. All the best with your tolerating uncertainty!
@jmgalindojr I appreciate for your strength to hold on to such a great distress until you found the right answer. Just go ahead with building steps to expose to intolerance. if necessary take a guidance too. I hope you endeavor all your wishes in life. All the best.
Dr. Nader, thank you so much for giving such detailed explanation on worrying. I am literally thinking myself to death. Your suggestions and analysis make a lot of sense to me. Thank you!
Hey...I am Binish from India...I have OCD and would like to overcome...can we work together to make a transformation video that explains different stages that I go through so that it would inspire people? It actually took almost half an hour for me to type this. Funny thing is I dont have anytging to offer but you can post the video on your channel
I understand your felling because I also have gad.if you want we can do something together to help ourself and other Indian sufrer by gathering them and next plan will be after this. I know you can think that i am stupid. But according to me one man can't do anything alone in this situation but if we come together than there is a hope for you for me and for other suferers .
Hello Dr. Thank you for your helpful videos. I had a bad panic attack at my old job a year ago, since then I have basically what is agoraphobia and GAD, its hell. However the past month I have been pushing myself through exposure and powering through, its stilly but got dizzy today at the post office but powered through. In the end it truly is a fear of uncertainty and that next bad panic attack. Have my daughters birthday party tomorrow and will head in and power through once again and quite sure I will be alive afterwards once again. Many thanks.
You're very welcome. Have you taken a look at some of the videos I've done about panic attacks: Panic and Panic Attacks: ru-vid.com/group/PLG_XiSJeP3s0vBPGLL-Jn_Dxen04L795w
I'm currently doing my PhD in decision making under deep uncertainty. You can find similarities among these approaches and some concepts you used in this- and previous- video, even though they came from a totally different field. Thank you very much, you explain very well.
Thank you so much for your video - I've been using your worksheet for months. Unfortunately, most of my negative predictions come true - about 60% are the negative outcomes. Do you have more tips about how to avoid/eliminate uncertainty in my life?
Your videos are brilliant. Thank you. Most of my worry is about hypothetical big stuff i.e., terrorist attacks, economic turmoil, social instability. I may not experience these things concretely on a daily basis but when they are ever present in news feeds popping up all around me, how can I reduce my worry about them? Because, essentially, there is pretty much always something bad happening somewhere in the world and so therefore one day it could be happening to me. Thanks. John
Hello Dr Rami,I watched almost all of ur vedios,I Wana know how to manage TYPE 2 Worries,Type 1 Worries are Easy to manage But A Worry About Something Bad Will happen In Future is Very difficult to manage,,,,,And Can U bring a vedio on how to become emotionally strong...
I'm glad you are watching the videos and finding them helpful. The worry management skills that I am discussing in these videos apply to both type 1 and type 2 worries. As the video series continues, I will get into more specific skills for type 2 worries. Stay tuned. In terms of becoming more emotionally strong, I'll add that to my list of video ideas. Thanks!
I'm worried that my son has autism, and what that's going to look like in terms of the supports he will need and how that will impact my own life. Will I need to leave my job to take care of him? Will we be able to afford his therapy on one income? Will he learn to communicate and make friends? I am worrying myself sick and we haven't even scheduled him to be evaluated yet. But I appreciated this video because it made me remember recent past times of uncertainty where I felt just as anxious about the future, yet everything went better than expected. I'm going to do an uncertainty experiment this week during a funder meeting. Maybe I will speak up just one time and see what happens.
This is great. I'd love to see a journal or two on this. Mainly because I am including intolerance of uncertainty in my Personal Development Plan for my MBA.
Hi Blake - look up Michel Dugas and Intolerance of Uncertainty. He's done a lot of work on the topic and developed the protocol I discuss in this video series.
The very fact that a person has reached the stage where he has actually become 'intolerant' of uncertainties proves that almost all his earlier experiences regarding major real life issues turned out negative! So now expecting him to go through a set of imagined uncertainties thinking they won't turn out bad is quite impractical.
I've never met a person who had every uncertain situation in their life turn out negatively. If 100% of the time that a person is uncertain, bad things happen, then they should fear uncertainty and should not be doing tolerating uncertainty experiments, because the outcomes will always be negative.
Hi Connie - glad you found the video helpful - it's part of a 14-part video series on managing Generalized Anxiety Disorder and excessive worry. The link to the worksheet is in the description of the video, just below the video (you may need to expand it by clicking on the down arrow next to the video title if you're watching it on a phone or "Show more" if you're watching it on a computer). Regardless, here's the link: tinyurl.com/yyazpwrv Hope that helps.
