Yes I have but not for winning likeability points, I do that because although you may not like a coworker if they help you even in a teeny tiny way you say thank you.
Complimenting people, being professional and asking for help have all provided me with good results over the years. The key thing is to be authentic and actually mean what you say and do or people will see right through it. If there are people whom you don't like then be professional and brief but don't stoop to their level. Always be your best side around others in any team.
OMG, please read this in its entirety, because its actually a heartfelt compliment. I accidentally clicked on your video titled, "Your boss will never promote you" and you had me from the first 30 seconds. Everything you were saying was exactly how I felt and what I thought. From there, per your recommendation, I clicked on "Why lazy people get promoted" and again, you had my attention from the beginning. I had things to do, but I couldn't stop watching and wanting to learn everything you and your videos were teaching me. Here's my compliment, While I may watch many videos on RU-vid, I rarely ever click the like button and almost never subscribe to a channel. However, by the third video, "How to be more likeable at work", was precisely at 4:55 in the video. This was your 4th tip, 'Keep it Professional'. When I heard you say those words, I was hooked, I clicked the "like" button, I subscribed, I'm also going to watch every video, buy your merch, join the team, drink the juice, watch the movie, and buy the hit single, (If/when it comes out, lol). I have always tried to teach those under me, those exact words, Keep it professional. So there it is, you got me, you got someone who never 'likes' or subscribes, to do both, AANNDD, you even got me to 'reply' right after I smashed your 'like' button and subscribed! Thank You, Thank You, THANK YOU, I cannot stress it enough, your videos are the answer I have been searching for, for such a long time. I am also going to share your videos, as well as recommend your channel to whoever will listen to me. Thank You, I am honestly, gratefully, thankful I accidentally clicked your video.
This is good advice. Sometimes, no matter how nice and friendly, even respectful you are, there are those who will not like you, and we have to accept that, and just be the best version of ourselves that we can be for ourselves.
Yeah, sometimes because they don't like what you are, race, ethnicity, religion, gender, way you dress, the way your face looks, your competence, your mannerisms, your voice, accent, whatever. If they decided they don't like you, they will be a pain no matter what.
@@tandyandy8819 I totally get what you mean, that feeling you get when everyone wants to talk to someone, but then they don't make the effort with you.
I was in a very toxic environment. I was naive and I was trying to understand these people. I was never trained. I was asking for help and the manager rolled eyes every single time. I invite some of them for lunch and I paid. I was giving thanks and compliments. I had to resign. These people were bad. Sometimes these strategies don't work,
Best way for people to like you at work is just to not stand out. Keep your performance and your status at work in the middle, to not be perceived as competition to those at work who are on the same level as you. Your actual personality doesn’t really matter, people could care less, and only care about themselves, people just care about how your presence affect them.
I've been in the workforce for 20 years, and, based on my experience, I just feel that doing a good job, being respectful, etc. doesn't matter. The game is so rigged against non-Chads. And employers dangle merit-based carrots so that we believe that if we just work harder or spruce up our LinkedIn profile, etc., then we can make our career dreams come true. But it's a lie.
"Non-Chads" LoL! It is, but this is a great video as well. The corporate arena is a haven for narcissists. In my office there was a lot of management hiring their own personal friends and family members. They bullied me and started a smear campaign against me so that I would leave and they could hire in another one of their own friends or family members in my position! I worked for a huge company so I saw a lot of people during the day, and I noticed that the more you kissed your boss's butt (you could be dumb and lacked sufficient skills) you got a bigger carrot 😒
@@Yellow-Rose I'm sorry you went through that. You know, a decade ago, I wouldn't have believed stories about toxic workplaces and would have assumed that any one who couldn't get along must be the problem. Now - after 2 toxic workplace experiences - I totally get it. And part of the gaslighting is making everyone (including the employee) assume that they must be the problem.
@@anonanonymous1970 I'm currently in a toxic workplace. I outperform many of my colleagues, but I'm not part of the clique, so I don't get anywhere. And oh yes, I've been gaslit. It's very demoralizing.
Non-chads? Is this a shitpost? Computer science has a bunch of "non-chads", and stereotypical "losers", but they make so much money...What makes you more money is entirely dependent on your specific position in your field.
@silentIypraying In this IT field lot's of disruptive solutions can improve their carrier's...that's not the case in others fields. In a lot of places if you just beat some gols and have a good social you won.
I don't think I'm liked at work. I don't like most people, nor do I trust them. So, I am slow to open up. Trust is earned. I don't talk much, I''m quiet and productive. Most people drain me. However, I'm quite good one-on-one. When on a team, I'm the quiet one in the back, getting stuff done, while everyone else is chattering away about vapid things such as their latest manicure trend or gossiping about some reality TV show. I just can't relate.
We are same dude I also don't like them bcoz they don't match my energy...I will do my work and avoid to talk to them I don't know how to say but they just don't match my energy...even I am a quiet person and my face always serious I just like talk or laugh,smile when i really feel like to
Where i am at is soooo toxic that if i ask for help, i am dismissed, responded to with annoyance and made to feel incompetent. It's really hard to find something to like about the people who continue to propagate this culture.
You can give them a reference to a book, or a web page that they can read, then, tell them Taht after they read it you will be happy to answer questions. It works like a charm, if they are hard workers desperate for help they will read the guide and ask good questions and value the help and it will help them, but if they only wanted to get you to do their work, they will never ask again, because they will not be reading any documentation
Find a friendly face and let them train you. Employees hate to train new people. If you can find one person that is kind and will help you go to them for questions. They will let you know who to stay away from.
Although i struggle with having charisma, and have a social disorder, everyone of these tips are doable for me and your advise is practically explained. I really appreciate this video.
Adopting these strategies is actually a good way of finding out whether someone you dislike is actually just someone you've misunderstood, and who is a decent person, and someone who is basically a toxic narcissist. Try any of these on a narcissist and they will lick it up and then double down on their abuse of you. Show any weakness - even weaknesses that benefit them - and you are fair game for more abuse. For a normal person who you dislike for a specific reason, they will address that reason and you can begin to like them or at least work with them harmlessly.
Yasss, love the first one! How to win friends and influence people 101, gotta focus on them 🙏I remember some of the best leadership advice I ever got was that you need to EARN the right to influence people by getting to know them. So much goodness in this video 🙏😍
I start a new job tomorrow and these are REALLY important points especially keeping professional etiquette. I've been in jobs that were unbelievable as far people who thought it was good enough just to show up-way past their start time. Plus, I bring my phone to work but it is OFF during the day except for a timer I run for 55 minutes to make sure I don't go over the lunch hour.
Yeah I’d rather work somewhere they don’t care about you showing up at an exact time or going 15 minutes over your lunch hour. A results-oriented culture is much better but when that breaks down people fill the void by focusing on stupid little rules.
@@fabsmaster5309 It went from giving "awards" to people for being on time (a gold spray painted alarm clock) to if you are more than 5 minutes late, writeup. We don't CARE what the reason is. I told the recruiting manager about that. You know what a reward is for showing up on time an doing your job is? It's called a paycheck.
Point # 2, some people aren't good at compliments. It can come across as a backhanded compliment. I had a co worker that I wish had not complimented me because it came across as insincere
Idk if it's the right thing to do, but I always send gifs in the chat in the morning and tell everyone they're the best. Which is all fake but they eat it up lol
Sometimes I give genuine compliments and they still sound awkward. My worst obstacle is office politics because I am neurodiverse and I dont have empathic skills naturally. That doesnt mean i dont care, because I actually do and I have already been backstabbed because of that. I just lack vocabulary. Also I am a native spanish speaker working for english speaking people. Even worse
what should you do if you work with a narcissistic person, and you have to see them 6 days a week? I am tired of hearing them talk about themselves all the time.
While all these tips will make you likeable (I agreed) but Chad offered more than just doing these tips to get on the boss’s right side. He is the boss’s eyes & ears so that the insecure boss knows everyone’s movement, talking (who they were talking to and what was about). That’s how Chad can get promoted easily without having to work hard like us. I have seen this behaviour before.
I know someone that gives people nicknames and it’s just over the top, but she talks horrible about everyone horrible. I’m so shocked how she can be giving people sweet nicknames but then later talks about them and gossips. I always have to be careful with that person, she’s probably talking bad about me too lol
I think this is such a great video because I think we get so caught up with what we have to do at work, we forget those little things that our coworkers do to help us get through the day. Although this video might seem like common sense, how often do you stop to let your coworker know you appreciate them? Great video Jennifer!
Most places I have worked, being liked by most people hasn't been a problem. Usually the problem is being targeted and hated by key individuals, likely the department manager, a supervisor, or someone(s) else one is required to be accountable to (or coworker who is a dishonest tattler). I've been laid off (forcibly) from a place where most people were surprised and hardhearted to see me go. It was a manager who decided I wasn't for them, not due to my learning curve shape, ethic, or progress; but as I found out later, probably a merely personality preference.
My biggest issue at my job is that I feel like I'm too new to be giving any praises. I tried it a couple times and they just looked at me weird or ignored me all together. I get ignored so much I have to constantly repeat myself when I ask for help, and help is often denied by the supervisor. My last job, even though it was a major strain on my mental health, it boosted my confidence up a lot. I have to say I feel like my confidence is slipping drastically. We cannot make decisions for ourselves but we're told to think for ourselves.
I feel praises are a double edged swords if they are too direct, because the intention of praise may seem obvious. Some ideas: - a way to make them subtle is to say something positive about the work done rather than the person. - only do direct praises to people you are comfortable with and you know they respect you. - only do appreciations that you genuinely believe.
@@latitaparnell321 hey latita, i can see that happening as well and as far as i know, maybe that's how others see/saw me too but for the most part, i'm professional yet sociable (not uptight or standoffish), if that makes any sense. i don't usually hang out with any particular crowd or cliche; i tend to speak to mix and mingle with everyone.
I’m glad I was able to find this to respond. It came through my email. I had to scroll to find your picture. RU-vid need to take us directly to your responses. But yes the work place can be a difficult place. Especially if the bullies are in high rank. You almost got to conform to their bull…. But me I never conforming to mess. Hence why I always got fired. But alot of them are sick and miserable so they not winning. 😩🙏🏾 But they think they are. Karma don’t miss.
All good advice. But the problem is my coworkers still see me as a bad person. I’m the only combat veteran who they think I’m mentally unstable. When talking to HR they side with them. It’s to the point where they bring the worse out of me.
I 👍 this video & 👍 all of the valuable information from Jennifer every Tuesday & Thursday on YT. I 😃 often at my cohorts & always compliment them on a job well done 👏 - My manager told me " We 👍 having you around " That made me happy 😊. 👋
I'm. Temp... I do all sorts of dirty, miserable, hot, and potentially very dangerous job...often far from home... Lat thing I care about is if someone likes me.. All I care about is standing my watch and making it home in one piece....the days of getting to hang with workers seem sadly to be gone... . unfortunately.
Thanks so much. I need to know these make people happy - because I naturally do all these and people don't seem impressed. This makes me confused. I compliment people and they look unimpressed, thinking I'm being inauthentic (while the compliments are genuine!) I ask for help until it seems like people had left me. I suppose it needs "art", ie. to say the right thing at the right time, ask the right question at the right time, build the vibe, etc
No ........ I get it . Professional is a must . I've worked with dirt bags that gave said ....... And I'm supposed to get along with them . Not going to happen
I'm being a cheerful person at work. Trying to be nice... but seems like people are just telling that I'm just always flirting with everyone. That's so odd because I don't care in a personnal way. Just trying to be nice but there is just more and more awfuls gossips on me. It's so sad... Because I take care of my appearance. I make-up and dress well. I dunno what to do. Should I just become a poker face or something and stop being nice?
I’m autistic so relating to people doesn’t come naturally. My compliments sound sarcastic even when they are sincere because I have a flattened affect and a monotone voice. And I hate being complimented, it puts me on edge because I feel perceived. Asking for help to get people to like me when I really don’t need or want the help feels manipulative. Also I keep it very professional and people get angry that I won’t tell them things like my religion or who I voted for or what gender is my partner. The only solution I can come up with is for me to start a sole proprietorship llc.
I like the give complements one that is good. But not sure about the rest. If you are working with people with very high ego and talent, you need to stand your ground and lead the way. That way they respect you and like you otherwise they will try to stamp on you. I don't believe in friends at work, or it only happens 1/100 times. I only ever had one person I can call a friend at work which used to be this very humble Japanese guy. So humble that I did think about bringing him to my company even though I know he maybe competition for me as he is a good worker too
This should all come with a warning. I worked with someone who litterally told me not to say "Good morning" to her. Any of this can back fire and in todays world, the work place is a field of land mines. Can you speak on that. It has become a game of "Not It" and/or a game of Bombardment. or Dodge ball.
no I like people at work who are somewhat competent. Even slacker chad can be convinced on a plan that would benefit them but make me look like the rock star.
I am having a hard time seeing the nuance in saying no as well as ask people for help. Can you help me see what I am missing? Is the difference in even if the person you ask says no, it still makes them feel appreciated?
My last place of work, almost all the execs and directors are on their phones or laptops in just about every meeting. You know they're only half paying attention, if even that. I didn't like that environment at all. The tips in here reminds me that of the book "how to win friends and influence people", it's basically how to be a good human haha
How to act when your boss is constantly being critical to you, never helps, putting pressure on you? When your boss makes you feel like less intelligent because making you like a fool (constantly persuading you that you didn't understand correctly or that you don't know anything, even tho you did everything done?) What lies underneath when a boss tells that you don't have communication skills and leadership skills as well, and she thinks she is a good manager (a manager who never helps and motivate, who always make you feel less worthy). Dear Jenn, I'm a great communicator, leader, strong person with heart and sense for others... But this person is so stubborn and she thinks she is always right. I was never being good to her even tho I worked so damn hard. I'm still battling worst battles from a person who is kind and supportive to everybody except me. It's older person. What is your advice, how to handle this? I tried everything you said in the video... But it doesn't work.
I can't definitively say without assessing the situation, but from what I describe it sounds like your boss is feeling unworthy and insecure BECAUSE of your strengths. Some managers really struggle with talented and high potential team members, because they are afraid their exceptionalism will make them look bad - they totally miss that it can make them look like a star too. Because it's your boss you need to get her on your side. The tactics here will still work, but the main thing you need to address is that she feels inferior around you - that's why she's flexing her power and critiquing you.
@@JenniferBrick Thank you dear Jenn! ❤️ I learn a lot from you! Looking forward to your new videos! The thing is, she’s my mentor and she should help me… she doesn’t do that. She says that everyone is for himself. And now she says how I’m not communicative with the fact how she asked people from the whole factory and all people say how I’m not communicative. She’s forcing things too much to teach me how I should behave, to be a human with her, to talk with her. The fact is, I can’t be a friend with a person who is constantly criticizing me even my personality.
get a new job don’t let her destroy your self esteem. sHe is a toxic boss. it’s not about you it’s about her and that will never change and you won’t be able to do a thing to change her feelings about. you. so move on.
@@robbielynmccrary872 You're right Robbielyn. I simply can't believe that someone who is successful, on position, with so many years of experience are so jelaous and toxic. Thanks for an advice. She definitely hates my drive and she hates my self esteem. I should check better opportunities!
@@JenniferBrick please read rule # 1 - "Never Outshine the Master,"from Robert Greene's book" The 48 Laws of Power" Problem Solved. When u change, she will warm up towards u.🤗
I've actually done all this and had my kindness and compliments backfire because what they want is to take credit for my skills, and this leads to them helping themselves and discrediting me in the process.
I suck at accepting compliments to the point of it becoming a pandemic of low self esteem but I’m slowly getting better at accepting compliments at work
This are all the reasons why my co workers didn’t like me for being so nice respectful helpful and give them compliments they even told me they didn’t like that
Aside from #4, if you need to do any of these things to maintain or grow your career, you have a deficit of marketable skills in your industry. I'm not a nice person, but I rise quickly because i provide actual value. Kissing ass and being fake will lower your self esteem over time.
First step is to quit that mindset about keeping your private life and work life separate! If you think "I come to work only for work and not to make friends", then this will be your downfall. This mindset makes you close yourself off; people will think you have no personality because you don't show your true personality. Allow things to become personal. Becoming friends with your colleagues is the way to be liked at work. This seems like a given thing but you'd be surprised how many people try to keep that distance between them and their colleagues.
Yes it's a necessary evil, I use to feel this way these people aren't my friends , I'm here for a check. But tbh you spend many hours daily with coworkers;so you have to talk to coworkers and be friendly. Don't go deep and tell your business but have light convos. Tell a joke or two it really makes a difference.
That mindset will only help you in toxic work environments so it’s important to have it. However if you manage to land a job you enjoy without the drama then I would agree with the approach trying to make friends.
About the last advice, I agree about all of them maybe except last.being asshole is most of the times not a choice but just a character, just who you are,
