5 Ways To Heal From Narcissistic Relationships

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If you didn’t know being in any type of relationship with a narcissist means that we could have been gaslit, manipulated, put down, and made to think that any bad thing that happened was our fault (just to name a few of the ways we could have been harmed). Obviously, this type of abuse can leave us wondering what happened, and thinking we are to blame, possibly struggling to know who we are, and leave us feeling traumatized. The best way to move past this and begin to heal is to go limited or no contact with them. I know that can be hard, and we can feel bad about doing it, but remember all of the situations where they lied, manipulated, or neglected you, and stay the course. It does get easier with time. Now, regardless of what our relationship was like, or the amount of abuse we were exposed to, I want to offer 5 ways that we can all heal and get our life back after ending that unhealthy relationship.
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Опубликовано:

2 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 1,4 тыс.

@SugarTide935 4 года назад

If a person comes to the realization they are a narcissist, can they change?

@Katimorton 4 года назад

Of course!!! We just have to want to change and find a therapist who can help :) xoxo

@crisrodriguez5693 4 года назад

But... be careful. When you ask a narcissist "are you a narcissist?" their typical answer is something along the lines of "of course! so what? I am better than anybody else". So, a lot of them know they are narcissist, they just refuse to accept that it is a problem. Also, manipulative people often say "I will change, just stay with me" so they can keep abusing the victim. I don't know if a narcissist can change, but the disorder itself makes really hard for them to notice that there is something wrong. I'd rather be away and let them do that change, if they can, in some place where they can't possibly hurt me, now or in the future.

@gpower9572 4 года назад

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but the lightbulb has to want to change :-)

@javierat8308 4 года назад

Technically they can, but since narcissists almost never take any responsibility, they rarely think they need to change, and so you shouldn't bet on that. In fact, if you try to convince your narc that they are a narc so that they can change and stop hurting you, they will probably just say the narcissist is you. So it's better to never say that word, and just distance yourself. That takes a lot of grieving, but you can do it.

@jaybeetee5272 4 года назад

Yes, but. There are treatment programs geared at NPD and ASPD, but a) they take *years* of intensive therapy (sometimes multiple sessions per week), and b) most NPD/ASPD don't think they have a problem - other people are always the problem. So getting them through the door is a battle in itself, then them sticking with it. Apparently the best chance a narcissist has of seeking treatment is a secondary issue, like depression. My ex likely has something in the BPD/NPD range, but it'll never be diagnosed. He's gone to a few therapists over the years, but tends to disagree with them and drop out in three sessions or less.

@humancapitalist 2 года назад

I think the worse part about dating a narcissist is that there is literally no accountability on their part. It is so infuriating that they run around causing so much damage and they face zero consequences for it. Then you're left all alone trying to pick up the pieces of yourself. It makes me feel crazy. I dated mine for 2 years...it's been almost 9 months and it still feels like it happened just yesterday. I hate it so much.

@justinkunheeyi Год назад

I feel you, I didn’t realize I was with a narcissist for almost a year. And my self esteem was so bad, I talked to my friend about it and she was the one who told me that he was narcissistic, saved my life. I often notice that narcissists NEED somebody to manipulate or somebody close to control, and we just took that away from them. While they proceed forward to live with dissatisfaction and deep rooted insecurities without understanding it, we’ve moved on to more than we could’ve imagined. It’s not about Justice, it’s about finding peace and feeling like our life is ours again. One day they’ll notice how much better off we are without them, and that’s the ultimate revenge against a narcissist.

@bhavininath737 Год назад

How're you doing now

@lisalawtonlyons Год назад

I was married to mine for 18yrs. I’m left dumbfounded, but at least I understand what the heck was wrong with him. We can heal, they are stuck in their miserable existence forever. Hang in there, we got this💜

@aaronrhoades7777 Год назад

Keep on keepin on 😢 the struggle is real

@brigitconroy8306 Год назад

Their karma is themselves. The really do secretly never measure up to themselves. They hate themselves more than any other person could.

@ub3rcube 4 года назад

A narcissist can really abuse you and then tell everyone you were the abuser after the relationship ends. The lies are infuriating, but you have to remember a person like that does not value telling the truth when it relates to them. They will twist everything to make themselves the hero and everyone else the villain.

@betul7378 3 года назад

So true.

@Sal32856 3 года назад

I have never related to something so much!

@NGANSTURR 3 года назад

Very true

@Joshdifferent 3 года назад

💯💯💯

@sarjnasinha253 2 года назад

It's very disturbing and unsettling to go through this. How do I heal myself from this ?🙍🏼‍♀️

@RedLP5000S 4 года назад

My ex has shattered my belief in relationships. I simply cannot imagine being in another one, nor do I have the energy for it.

@merncat3384 3 года назад

You sound like me.. so what did I do?!? I waited 7 long damn YEARS before I allowed myself to even consider talking to someone.. I'm 45 years old I feel like I lost down on the best years of my life.. I think the only reason I let my wall down was because I felt like we had this insanely amazing connection.. he even understood my humor which nobody ever has.. he love bombed me so hard, just to start playing head games and disappear without a word. Our last conversation was a great one so there were no problems.. I don't understand. I'm devastated and I don't think I could ever risk going through this EVER again.

@calliesaling5524 3 года назад

i feel the same way, i’m not interested anymore i’m happy alone, sometimes lonely but that’s how i know i’m healing

@deedeee6271 3 года назад

Hi, I was also in such a relationship, but I think part of the healing process is mentally grasping the fact that there are people out there are are actually normal and would never behave that way. I saw somewhere to look for people who are different from what you have experienced. That is how you know you are in the right place with the right person. It's a process, but it's still possible, w/the correct guidance and healing.

@Vixinaful 3 года назад

I feel the exact same way, I dont even want frends anymore.

@lela888 3 года назад

I feel the same way I don’t trust people and don’t even want friends anymore

@Zoya194 4 года назад

1. Acknowledge the abuse happened. Write. Share. Speak up. 2. Grieve or mourn the loss. Even abusive relationships are still relationships. Don’t ignore these feelings. Process it. Just don’t do back. 3. Break past patterns. Now. Recognise if you have lousy boundaries, second guess your instincts, codependency etc. This takes time. Do this when you are single. 4. Heal from the trauma. It’s takes time to figure out what happened and heal. Stick with it. Do therapy. 5. Reclaim yourself. Figure out who you are. Say no. Be you. We may not know who we are and what we want. Start small. Don’t ask anyone for their inputs. Build up your confidence slowly with the small stuff and build to the big. Limited or no contact with the Narc.

@spillthedeen 2 года назад

Love this. Going to print it and look at it every morning.

@Twinmama143 2 года назад

Love this!

@Dastardly_X 2 года назад

Very helpful, thanks ‼️

@emmaharper860 2 года назад

Absolutely 💯

@paulbibi2874 2 года назад

Very helpful

@rasmuslassen6273 4 года назад

It is also worth noting that if we attract narcissists, let them step on us, and we disrespect ourselves, we have most likely been abused and/or neglected in childhood. People with healthy childhoods typically won't disrespect themselves or let others disrespect them for an extended period of time.

@athenasuperheldin1017 3 года назад

@patrica tomson but we make a habit of collecting those red flags and that conditioning because we did not have a healthy childhood and never really learned ho to set boundaries.

@DevineLoved 2 года назад

Not always even those with good child hood suck in a relationship

@leahflower9924 2 года назад

somewhere deep down we usually feel like we deserve mistreatment but most narcs go too far for too long and we leave because we feel like we are going insane

@leahflower9924 2 года назад

@@MaliMwauraNdichu why? Because empaths are the perfect prey for narcs, narcs need fuel for their ego and empaths are more willing to help with that than the average person. You know mosquitoes need hosts same thing and mosquitoes like pregnant women and babies the most.

@MaliMwauraNdichu 2 года назад

@@leahflower9924 thanks for this

@asdf4678z 2 года назад

One of my mistakes was going back to them after things went sour. I learned that this is a classic symptom of a narc/empath relationship. It was hard and painful and I'm still torn up, but this time I let it go sooner than I did in past relationships. 😔 I didn't stick it out as long to give tons of chances like I did in previous relationships. He proved in a very short time that he could not change and I accepted rather than holding on to that shimmer of useless hope forever. It was best for both of us to go our separate ways. Sometimes they apologize but it's shallow and insincere if you get an apology at all. Mostly you will be met with blaming you for most everything and being told some form of "get over it". If it seems sincere then they will simply repeat the behaviors over and over which negate any apology. The best apology is changed behavior but that begins with changed thinking.... And narcs don't think they need to change. YOU need to change ....and they are right. Change your standards and leave them. Never look back.

@ms.bubs4fun506 2 года назад

Very well said! Especially about changing behavior if you are truly sorry.

@christythomas4287 2 года назад

I just went through the exact same thing . He begged me back but I left sooner this time .

@leahingraham5509 6 месяцев назад

Me!! But finally free

@Mariah-c9w 6 месяцев назад

Said it the best way thank you I’ll keep this in mind

@crystinamarie1 27 дней назад

How did you go no contact?

@nataliaf.r.2126 4 года назад

Something that helped me recover was to remember that in this type of relationship I was never allowed to feel, my feelings, thoughts and concerns were never considered at all. And we all need to have our feelings towards the smallest to the largest situations considered. I don't want to be in a relationship like that again, and won't accept it

@shoseikunpsychologypvt1299 4 года назад

Natalia you are so right We all have right to feel all emotions and have our own opinion and thoughts.

@nicselectronics81 3 года назад

Same, my parent didn't have feelings and I learned to keep it all in as they continued to try to destroy me. 30 years of my life wasted. And my sadness is gone finally.

@merncat3384 3 года назад

@@nicselectronics81 I can relate to that completely only I'm 45 and I thought I was passed it all until I recently got into a relationship with a narcissist and he brought all of my issues to the surface again

@NiaItalia 2 года назад

Love this

@SharlenesJourney 2 года назад

Right !!

@v.e.jansen7720 4 года назад

I would add to be careful with who you talk to about the abuse. They might invalidate your feelings too because they know the person or don't understand how bad it really was. People cannot understand why I don't want any contact with my father, they don't think that's right of me. But please try to trust yourself and your feelings

@crimsontuba1 4 года назад

Talking to a therapist first is usually super helpful. Good therapist definitely will take time to figure out who your closes contacts are, and who in your family and social circle are healthy relationships and who's toxic. Some therapist aren't so subtle about which friends of yours they like.

@victoriajension8302 4 года назад

I totally agree with this especially with narc parents. There's such a stigma that we have to love and respect our parents just because they "raised" us without understanding the abuse u went through. I was just telling my friends about this the other day and they were both like wtf why would anyone invalidate that?? But there's always gonna be people that say "but she's still your mom" "she did so much for you" "parenting is hard" it's all bs

@debbienpeters 4 года назад

Agree I have a narc mother and, pretty much every person I have talked to about her including counselors, are like, but it's your mother, she loves you. Yeah, no she doesnt. Good lord, it's like they think they are helping. I wish people would stop saying that is love, cause even knowing it is narcissistic abuse, it is still hard for me to not fall back into bad patterns.

@foreverhilaryy 4 года назад

Agree completely! I went to my sister about the mental abuse my mom put me through for 15+ years and she got defensive right away saying I was wrong. Even though she didn’t live with us for years or see it for her own eyes.

@shoseikunpsychologypvt1299 4 года назад

Veerle you are so right. We should trust our-self .... society taught us respect parents and follow what parents say us. It leads to immature personality, codependency plus parents can be really toxic and just to be able to live person should not contact with parents

@beatlesada98 4 года назад

I endured 5 months. I got out. I can’t imagine being in a relationship for much longer. It wrecked me. I’m much better, but it’s been after therapy and a lot of self work to rebuild myself. It has been a little over a year since. It’s awful when people see and know a different person than the one you experienced. Sending love and light for those who have experienced this.

@narcsmarksnarcissisticabus5093 3 года назад

I was only able to stay with a narc for 11 months. Glad I got out. Im glad you got out too.

@marylnmonroe 3 года назад

I had 2 narcissistic relationships both ended within 6 months.. i left both. I couldnt imagine being with them for years and years

@samarkand24ify 3 года назад

Me too.. About 5 months.. I am a complete wreck.. working with therapist now. I am destroyed, broken into pieces.. ((( Thank you for your sending love..

@toemasmeems 3 года назад

@@Icecloudsxxo same man 5 years on and off for when she’d break it off with me for “something I did or didn’t do”. An absolute waste of time but I’m glad I’m still alive and not alone. 🥂 cheers life is still full of joy

@ibrarhussain5536 3 года назад

Try 18 years 🥺 only just realizing why i developed a anxiety disorder 3 years sgo. Might help me leave now i no it's not love its trauma bond that kept me there . piece by piece losing my self can't recognize the person in mirror can't remember last time i could. I was 18 she was 37 my first relationship 17 years on stuck mentally 🥺🥺

@bxvtriz 4 года назад

u forgot to mention how to deal w the narcissist painting us as the bad guy+crazy person to other people once we leave. when we leave w a broken heart and low self esteem this buffoonery can be rly hard to deal with.

@maddy4690 3 года назад

I swear he contacted my 2-3 close frnds and made me seem like a crazy person. As if I am creating an issue.

@sarjnasinha253 2 года назад

@@maddy4690 I am going through the Same thing. He has spun so many atrocious lies and has projected me as the bad person. After all the trauma , to deal with all the lies. It's disturbing and unsettling

@SharlenesJourney 2 года назад

Yessss I’m going through this now 😔 thinking I’m the bad person when I’m not this person always talks about me behind my back and makes me feel like it’s all my fault

@sofiber4350 2 года назад

I was in a abusive relationship and when we split appart I was several month hospilized for being schizophrenic.

@Mariah-c9w 6 месяцев назад

@@sarjnasinha253 makes it harder to heal when they were all you had and now have nobody else or won’t ever again bc of that

@arfisch 4 года назад

Katie this was what I needed to hear. I was in a relationship like that when I was 19, married him at 20 and divorced at 23. I am going to be 50 this year and it still affects me. Watching your video brought up a lot of emotions. Thank you. Now I know what to talk to my therapist about. I haven’t felt myself for 20 years.

@pollytheparrot8929 3 года назад

❤🤗🙏

@fruitypopwhickle6806 2 года назад

You are a survivor. You are stronger. You are free. Celebrate your new life.

@CatherineJonesTX 2 года назад

Professor Sam Vaknin says victimhood is very bad for us, it's keeps one from healing, we must admit our role, like " I saw some red flags and did it anyhow, or "He physically abused me and I didn't leave right away, so he did it again and again" It was very traumatizing, but if we keep feeling like a victim instead of a survivor, we can't grow. HEY, I must be REALLY strong to have endured 19 months of physical/emotional and verbal abuse! Are you kidding, I got out! This poor bastard is stuck in his evil fantasy world for the rest of his LIFE!! He'll never be able to know what LOVE is...thank God that didn't happen to me...hey, could have been myself that had a horrible trauma filled childhood and ended up in his shoes. I pity them, but don't come near me!

@dominiksupe5583 2 года назад

It's been 4 years since mine relationship. Many ups and downs and now kinda just accepted that I won't ever be the same. I'm the new me, better in some ways, worse in others, but I can never be the same. I wish I could, maybe one day.

@spillthedeen 2 года назад

I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you feel like yourself more now. I got married at 35 and didn't realize he was a narcissist. He ended up getting a concussion and he became aggressive and abusive. I stayed for almost 2 years and when I finally left, he got himself a girlfriend within a month. I hope I forget him and heal from the trauma. I get worried that this will be on my mind for the rest of my life. I also lost my father 9 months after getting married to this abusive narcissist. It's alot.

@danielasolimano3726 2 года назад

I just left a 5 yr relationship with a total narcissist that had me completely fooled, and the grieving part is so real, I miss those amazing moments we shared… it feels like he’s dead. but that doesn’t mean that I don’t realize that only I was in the fairytale, only I was true and committed, he cheated lied and manipulated. I don’t know how I’ll ever love or trust anyone else. All the things I’m uncovering about him now have me completely shocked I’m traumatized and totally broken

@lisalawtonlyons Год назад

I was married to mine for 18yrs. I’m left dumbfounded that this man I loved, was a whole different person when he wasn’t home. It’s definitely shocking. The cheating, lying, triangulation and manipulation, is overwhelming to process. At least we know we can heal, we are good people capable of giving and receiving love, when we are ready. These demons are stuck as horrible people, and will never have the kind of peace we will have, by getting them out of our lives. I know it feels lonely, and I know I’m angry that I’m “left alone” to pick up the pieces, and they just roll into another relationship with another victim. That’s what we need to remember, we are no longer their victim, someone else is💜

@juliecarson4332 Год назад

The same thing happened to me during the 2 years that he lived with me. Face the feelings of hurt, cry, stay close with friends and family. Pray for God to heal you. Don't dwell on the awful things he did and accept the fact that some people have addictions, (or their own demons), as a friend put it. Mine lied and cheated also. It hurts. I'll cry more but I won't blame myself. My mom was abused by a violent alcohol for 6 years. Our childhood can make us be drawn to these type of people. I'm facing this head on so I don't repeat the cycle. I hope you do too. God be with you. He can make miracles happen.

@rachelgupta5216 9 месяцев назад

@@lisalawtonlyons I relate with this so so so much. Especially the man he is when he's not home. Currently experiencing all of this trauma. The cheating, lies, manipulation, gaslighting and i have become physically unwell because of the emotional drainage.

@twinmillie00 7 месяцев назад

💔💔

@Mariah-c9w 6 месяцев назад

I’m sorry 😢you had to go through and endure that I hope you’re loving yourself more and more everyday

@chrisslate1506 Год назад

My heart genuinely goes out to anyone who has suffered through a narcissistic relationship of any kind 💔 My experience has been the single most worst experience of my life I think it is important to remember that narcissistic abuse can occur in any kind of relationship or contact you have with an individual.

@Mariah-c9w 6 месяцев назад

Yeah i have one with my mother

@chelseaconey4015 3 месяца назад

My husband was a narcissist. He took his own life a week after I kicked him out

@chrisslate1506 3 месяца назад

@@chelseaconey4015 💔

@aijazsiddique8713 2 месяца назад

Oh yes. Absolutely. I had a friend who was a malignant narcissist. Absolutely devious and evil. Found out years later. So traumatizing in retrospect. The damage from it.

@aijazsiddique8713 2 месяца назад

@@chelseaconey4015so sorry to hear that. I hope you are able to manage or cope. Prayers for you.

@meadowsanddawn7464 4 года назад

One of the ways to strongly acknowledge abuse (when you are confused) is reminding yourself of the physical damage you got from it. I personally developped insomnia, anxiety and depression, digestive issues, chronic headaches, hormonal imbalances and many other things that plague my daily life. I get gaslighted by the narcs in my life about my health problems, which makes me feel bad and a failure, when they were actually the ones who caused me these issues in the first place. I try to always keep track of all the physical damage so I can keep in check all the abuse I lived through, as I try to ward off all the manipulation of "I don't know what's wrong with you, you're always sick" "I am so cursed and unlucky to have such ill and useless children" statements and passive aggressive attacks that made me feel guilty for years.

@bcool5208 3 года назад

So true. Mine was psychological with a por n addict. And I had severe anxiety and fear. Wondering when would be the next time he Would deliberately hurt me. Now its over after 2 years and im lonely. And trying not to miss him cause what

@kaitiezhee 3 года назад

I have experienced this too and to quite a degree. I recognize I’m an empath to begin with and generally pick up on the energy of people intensely - my gut instincts (“second brain”) can be rather strong. With this most recent relationship with a narcissist, I found myself constantly feeling like I needed to gasp for a deep breath of air to try and ground my emotions raging wildly within. I always had to drive when going anywhere to avoid motion sickness, which had more to do with my emotions than anything, and the last time I was in his town visiting, the intensity of the physical pain and nausea was CrAzY… unlike anything I’ve felt before… I got out of the car, nearly passed out, started to cry and just wanted to throw up but kept myself from doing so. Life with him was constantly like living in a state of nervous shock and tenseness. Please listen to your gut instincts when in these relationships and put yourself first!!! Always put yourself first and make no apologies for it. ♥️ sending healing vibes, love, light, hugs and all of the above to everyone needing it ♥️♥️♥️

@ablackcloud2530 3 года назад

I have been going through this. Can barely eat, got stomach pain, my body has been getting weaker and i'm losing weight, and when I told him all he could say was for me to not stress, like it was related to something else.

@derekmorley5844 2 года назад

Why are those narcissists still in your life? Get rid of them. You will never get anywhere while they are gaslighting and a abusing you. Get a good therapist.

@joyromasantavillarete9798 Год назад

I got panic attack and anxiety. Everytime I wake up, my heart beat is racing and uncontrollable emotion. This started to happen after we broke up

@victorbn6191 4 года назад

My ex overcame so many things from her childhood. She never viewed herself as the prettiest but she later became confident. She didn't have the best grades but she rose to the top of her class through hard work. Her parents didn't care too much about her but she learned to care about herself. I was so obsessed with her story that I didn't notice that I was losing my own. She had been through a lot but she was still mean. I'm thankful for the people in my life who told me to walk away cuz I don't think I would have done it without them.

@merncat3384 3 года назад

Be glad you got out.. it's a shame that she is damaged but you shouldn't have to suffer the consequences

@toemasmeems 3 года назад

My ex was the same way. Her father was an alleged sex cult leader and she claimed that he’s innocent and that she had trauma all throughout her life. I felt for her but for five years I lost sight of who I was and what I wanted to be. And I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with her lies anymore although I do miss her.

@aijazsiddique8713 2 месяца назад

Yeah you kind of become enmeshed with them and their issues and lose your own identity.

@Emopandasarefunny 4 года назад

I just got out of a three year relationship full of abuse and gas lighting. Thank you for this

@Katimorton 4 года назад

I am so sorry.. but I am glad you are out and I hope this video is helpful!! xoxo

@mhairisteele6113 4 года назад

I’m so sorry to hear you have been treated like this girl. About two years ago I got out of a three year long mentally abusive relationship filled with gaslighting and manipulation. I cut him out, got a therapist, stayed single, and prioritised myself for once. I’ve never looked back. It took me around 6 months to actually admit to myself it was abuse and he caused my anxiety. But now, two years on, I’ve fully grown and flourished into the woman I’ve always wanted to be. Confident, in love with healing, I speak up when I’m uncomfortable, I have become a parent to myself. I want to let you know that you can and will get there, you will heal, in your own wonderful way. I’m super proud of you for walking away and choosing yourself, it’s difficult. But girl, you are unstoppable now. You are a beautiful person worthy of love and respect. It’s when we look for that love from within ourselves that we truly allow change and growth. I wish you the best on your journey of healing ❤️

@Emopandasarefunny 4 года назад

Red Head thank you so much for this message. I am so glad you are doing better, you give me so much hope! I feel like I can finally breathe and I know one day we’ll be fully healed from our experiences! ❤️

@christina-tinarose5660 4 года назад

Same. It’s been exactly a year but still have to deal with him

@shoseikunpsychologypvt1299 4 года назад

Heey. I am sorry to hear it and congratulation you ended iy you are really brave and strong!!! The recovery is a journey it will get better and better .... remember all emotions are ok to feel:) Have a nice day... Much love xo

@lemonnate6663 3 года назад

From my experience relationships with a narcissist can be some of the most toxic out there. The important thing to realize it’s not your job to make them happy or make them realize they are narcissistic.

@birdlady2725 3 года назад

It is difficult when raised by very abusive nm. I did not have any life skills, being isolated and told "can't, shouldn't, dont" ,you are stupid, etc. I did not even have skills on how to have friendships with people my own age. I had to learn how to do laundry in college, learn to cook after getting married, etc. It has been a challenge trying to survive this way. I resent that she destroyed me in ways most others take for granted. I never feel safe, I don't trust (my own abilities, or other people). I resent that the other adults in my life knew she was abusing me, yet, did nothing. So now I am a reclusive bitter angry person. Add workplace back and head injuries that never got fixed, so in constant pain, my life sucks.

@cynthiaespinal318 3 года назад

I needed to read this today. Thank you 🙏🏻

@derekmorley5844 2 года назад

@@birdlady2725 I felt I was bitter angry person who didn't need anyone else. After getting out of a long term relationship with a narcissist, I could see exactly what was going on. Get rid of those other people in your life . They clearly don't care about you. Anyone who doesn't support you. Be strong and move forward. Don't be angry - it wont help you. Find a good therapist and get on top of your issues. You can survive an thrive with the right help.

@elizacosell7309 4 года назад

Didn’t realize I needed this, but I do. My father is a narcissist and I am truly losing my relationship with him. It’s so complicated because I’ve realized he has abused me and gaslighted me my whole life. He has negatively impacted every relationship I have, especially with myself. Setting the boundaries and breaking the patters while also struggling with anxiety and depression is so hard. Thank you for this. It is so nice to see a community of people in the comments and to have your amazing advice and guidance. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@jahnavisharma6562 4 года назад

So have I, my father is a narc too. I relate with your comment so much. Sending you so much love ❤️

@alexandrugheorghe5610 4 года назад

You're not alone. My father too is narcissistic. I went zero contact for a while now and he still tries once in a while to get his narcissistic supply from me, mainly through my mother which saddens me, especially as my mother has grown older and is having mental issues and has been recently diagnosed with diabetes. Hurts a lot to be far away from her, although I do try to support her by calling her once in a while and by being grateful that the extended family check in with her once in a while and help out getting her a break from the narc. once in a while (even if they don't realize they're doing that). The hardest part is to grieve that relationship you ought to have but have been deprived of. Know that it's okay to feel like whatever you need feeling be it anger, annoyance, frustration, hurt, sadness even joy for maybe some of the good memories as well (I remember in particular doing math with my father whenever we were walking long distances from home after he'd get his salary) - it's ok to grieve all of that. The best thing you can do is to move on. Stay strong and stay safe. 💪🏻💜🤗

@judixx 3 года назад

Peace be with you. May I ask if you are doing ok-er now? And may I know how you find out your dad is a narc? What is the best way to take in this piece of truth? I asked bec I have someone I care for very much in same situation. I don’t know if telling that person the identity of Narcissistic victim would create another trauma for her.

@merncat3384 3 года назад

Please try to get help because I didn't.. I was angry at the fact that he caused my issues and I didn't feel that I should have to be the one to fix what he destroyed but all it did was hurt me further.. I'm 45 years old and still suffering

@misselle3049 3 года назад

@@merncat3384 I relate to this so so much.

@dailydoseofmedicinee 4 года назад

Symptoms: Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance. Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration. Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it. Exaggerate achievements and talents. Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate.👍

@quintecence 4 года назад

Literally my sister. Cutting her out of my life 2 years ago was the best decision of my life. She stole from me, was entitled, put everyone around her down and always acted like she was the centre of the universe. Once I cut contact with her, she tried to retaliate against my mum by emotionally blackmailing her... My mum also cut contact with her 😂 My quality of life and happiness have skyrocketed. Best decision of my life.

@christychapin8357 3 года назад

And most importantly - no empathy for others!

@adaoratheexplorer1252 3 года назад

This is my Ex exactly! I just decided to go no contact and I'm struggling..

@CatieMannino 4 года назад

My parents are both narcissists. I cut ties almost a year and a half ago and it STILL gets to me from time to time whether its in anger, sadness, or both. Thank you for this video ❤️

@alexandrugheorghe5610 4 года назад

To give yourself that space to be sad, angry etc. in order to grieve and move on is the best thing you can do for yourself. 💜🤗

@lunaeydis4426 4 года назад

Be proud for having the courage and strength to get out :) Both parents is A LOT.

@singehetalo230 4 года назад

you have done the right decision

@crystinamarie1 27 дней назад

Did you block him?

@nickpepper6518 4 года назад

The hardest part for me has been accepting what I went through with her was traumatic. A lot of the time I ask myself “was any of it really that bad? I know deep down she loves me, so why should I feel so hurt?” And through recent work w my therapist, I’ve been able to slowly accept that the relationship and the trauma are worth working through. Beautiful video, I’m going to come back to this every time I start to really miss her, even though that it’s hard to hear this right now.

@samia6888 4 года назад

This is the hardest part for me too. When I tell people what I been through they are stunned. To me I just think of all the good times and it makes me feel so bad.

@shoseikunpsychologypvt1299 4 года назад

Hey, Nick, congratulation accepting is one of the most important part of recovery. Remember all emotions are ok to feel... we need all emotions...anger .. "barging stage"(when we are asking if we can get everything back how it was before...doubting if it was that bad" , grieving ... and so on.. are important part of recovery.... Remember Nick you are worthy of love.. fulfilling relationship and being fully accepted. Much love xo

@gentsuthern8827 3 года назад

I married a narcissist within 7 months two months of knowing this woman and unfortunately she became pregnant. She was the epitome of what a narcissist is. She felt because she made over six figures, the world evolved around her. She lacked so much empathy that she tore me down as a man because I didn’t make as much money as her. Her 7 year old daughter was a pure reflection of her. When I first met her she asked, “how much money do you make a year?”.. I was shocked. The worse part of all of this is that she tore me down mentally, emotionally, and physically. She abused me physically and now I’ve left the relationship. Sad to say this but I wish I had never met her or decided to have children with her. I don’t know who I am anymore and I am lost. I’m definitely will need therapy. Please pray for me

@aadilmoolla9585 3 года назад

@@gentsuthern8827 Hi man, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. It’s just the worst, you would never imagine a person could be like that. Yet there they are. Just got out of one after 2.5 years, I feel weak to my knees. Unable to concentrate, really sad. Trying each day to pull myself out. She was almost pregnant, I think God saved me. I realized that I jumped into the relationship with the Narc after I just broke up with a previous ex, I was still hurting and enjoyed the company but should have taken some time. My fault for jumping in too soon, she could probably sense it and used it. Honestly feel like I never want another relationship, just want this sadness to disappear, want her to disappear.

@derekmorley5844 2 года назад

@@gentsuthern8827 I am just out of a long relationship with a narc. Over 30 years! It seemed ok to begin with and then I became focused on he kids and didn't really have idea what was going on until I pulled the pin. And what an eye-opener that was. I can see clearly now and with the help of a therapist and a great friend I have worked through all this and have come out much better on the other side. Narcissists are truly evil people. They will always try to gaslight you and manipulate you, but you can rise up and find yourself again and be happy.

@rubenmedina2983 4 года назад

I ended up removing her from my life about 2 weeks ago. I felt like a bad person but all that stress went away. I needed to see this. I've been loosing sleep thinking if I did the right thing, but I think this is going to help. Thank you

@lindawise5546 2 года назад

So much falls away once theres no contact. You start to find you again.

@rickhoward1516 10 месяцев назад

Its insane how you feel grief longing for them but relief at the same time. The love for them is real, thats the part you miss, but the relief is the abuse part.

@crystinamarie1 27 дней назад

That's how it feels for me. I feel like I made a mistake when I block him. Like some big regret is going to plague me. And I used to think it was him but now I'm thinking it's me letting go of the fantasy of "us" that is what I need to overcome.

@weightlosedairy 2 месяца назад

Even journaling is hard, because it brings me back to the past.

@HestiaBHN1 6 дней назад

Its hard but try to focus in The Now.

@sfab5606 3 года назад

Is it normal that after the break up I started feeling like I was dissociated for the whole relationship?

@cjphights8324 4 года назад

I feel like the whole country will need to do this.

@alexandrugheorghe5610 4 года назад

Indeed. Trauma is being passed down through generations. It comes from scarcity (even if it's perceived), especially emotional scarcity.

@mandolaa 3 года назад

Not only a country

@winstonthevengefulduck470 3 года назад

I just cried during the whole video. Thank you. I just can't really process what's happened to me. I'm so lost. So so lost.

@samuelrabasco6783 3 года назад

how are you feeling now?

@johnypanta6208 4 года назад

Thank you for this video so much. It has been 9 months since I ended up a friendship with a narcissist. He was my best friend for 10 years. We were like brothers. It has been tough and I think I am still healing. The first months were the most difficult. I started therapy and it really helped me move on with my life. Ending it was one of the toughest choices I had to do in my life so far, but it was also the best choice. Once it was clear that it was over I had the same feeling that you have when you take the first breath after being underwater for too long. I am not kidding. I physically felt my lungs filling with oxygen. Sometimes I still feel nostalgic and miss him...and it is ok. I will always have the memories. Don't be afraid to break free. It's never too late. It's them. Not you. Realize that they will no change and accept it. You have been tricked and manipulated. This doesn't mean you are stupid. It means they are good at what they do. Narcissism is a coping mechanism and they know how to weaponize empathy. If you feel you have someone who mentally or emotionally abuses you, put a stop. Break free...

@happypigy7954 4 года назад

Could you maybe talk about how a person can feel less lonely or how to deal with loneliness? I crave affection but from more of a romantic perspective, hugging my family doesn’t help me.. I feel so hopeless and alone

@Maria-gd4vf 4 года назад

same :/

@shoseikunpsychologypvt1299 4 года назад

Heey,maybe it's better to bring to your psychologist because not being satisfied within relationship or being happy alone, craving affection can be a symptoms of some psychological issues. If you bring it to psychologist you will improve your life in the fastest way. Much love xo

@Jezebel066 3 года назад

What drives me crazy is I want to explain how bad he hurt me & how it broke my heart to be discarded too. But he just says I brought it all on myself. I want him to feel bad he lost me one day & I know he won’t..

@micahrutland9021 9 месяцев назад

You deserve a loving man who is caring and sensitive to your emotions. These people don't have hearts.

@trishablanchard8708 2 года назад

I needed to hear this as well. To hear someone else say what I've been feeling makes me feel better. Narcissist abuse is real and people that have never experienced it they just don't understand. Thank you Katie.

@johnnyf4088 Год назад

No contact, no contact, no contact It is so crucial!!

@crystinamarie1 27 дней назад

How did you deal with the guilt and remorse when you blocked them?

@mjrubinhood3958 3 года назад

its been 1month and 8days already and i’m still having a flactuating emotions. i don’t know what have i done to deserve this misery in my life? sometimes i still wish that things were different. i love him still but i know that the man that i fell inlove with is not real.

@adaoratheexplorer1252 3 года назад

I just decided to go no contact last night and I am struggling.. I feel exactly how you feel and I hate it.

@ablackcloud2530 3 года назад

@@adaoratheexplorer1252 I went no contact but he messaged me and now it's being hell. But he got some of my belongings that I need back so I need him to send it, but I think he's using this to keep me in a hostage situation.

@athena9992 2 года назад

@@ablackcloud2530 hey girls. sending strength to you all bc i know how hard this situation is, especially if they are calling/texting - the best advice i can say is honestly the first tip this lady mentions in this video is absolutely critical... having no contact is the keyy here, that's the freedom for you all. going against what you have already decided FOR YOURSELF is just allowing the disrespect to continue. keep choosing YOU over them, it gets easier the longer you commit to yourself instead of them.

@haisesasaki3944 4 года назад

I love this series. My mom is a narcissist 😐

@Katimorton 4 года назад

I am so sorry to hear that. I hope this video and the others have been helpful :) xoxo

@alwaysyouramanda 4 года назад

🥺 don’t feel guilty for feeling the ways you do! I hope you can find joy in the process of growing your roots elsewhere.

@haisesasaki3944 4 года назад

@@alwaysyouramanda Thank you for your support. I don't miss not having a good enough mother because I do. I consider my stepmother to be my mother. She's been there for me in health and in sickness (litterally, I'm a cancer patient). The problem is that my biological mom is always in the way and I can't cut my relationship with her because if I do, she'll lash out on my siblings. I love my siblings so much. It's so complicated. But I'm sure with the right kind of therapy, it'll get better.

@haisesasaki3944 3 года назад

@M Milo Thank you for your support. My siblings are older than me but they're closer to mom than me. They lived with her more than I did so they're enabling her.

@samwallaceart288 4 года назад

My problem is I can’t identify whether or not I was abused because I have zero concept of what “normal” standard I’m comparing myself to. Half of my time on YT is spent sussing out “THIS is functional human adult.”

@crystinamarie1 27 дней назад

Same.

@RiverGlassStudios 4 года назад

Its true that healing from this takes time. Its been a year sense I left my abusive situation, and I still feel horrible, but I also feel strong. Just don't forget how far you've come when looking at the road you still haven't gone down.

@SaraMakesArt 4 года назад

"Grieve the loss" I had a narcissistic stepfather. I don't miss him or my relationship with him, but I miss not having been able to grow up with a healthy father/daughter relationship. A couple of years ago, my mom told me he had passed away. I hadn't seen him for about six or seven years at least at that point. I always thought I'd feel like jumping for joy when I heard that man had died, but I didn't. Mostly, I just felt numb. It sucks to know that even if I was able to tell him how much he hurt me, he would never feel sorry.

@Katimorton 4 года назад

I am so sorry. It's so complicated when someone who was abusive or hurtful passes away. I hope some of the tips offered in the video are helpful. xoxo

@grandmastermario3695 4 года назад

I had the same exsperiences with all my dad's and stepdads except none of them are dead I've never had a good releshionship or a good experience with any of them either now my dad did teach me soccer and fencing with sticks and certain board games but he was just abusive neglectful and and has his own serious problems the other stepdads all they did was make my life a living hell really our lives is kind of worse than are losing dad's because well we never really had good ones in the first place it's very sad

@alexandrugheorghe5610 4 года назад

That's the hardest part and I'm at the stage of grieving that relationship. I had confronted him last Christmas and saw there was *absolutely nothing* there for me. Not even a fucking "I'm sorry". Nada. Niente. Zero. So I know how much it hurts to have been robbed of that relationship that you had the right to have as a human being. I'm glad you managed to have put that behind and know that you're not alone in your struggle/pain. 🤗💜

@jyotsana4266 3 года назад

My mom is a typical narcissist. She made me hate myself for 15 years. I always hated myself my entire childhood until I grew up and realized that it was not my fault. She hurted me again and again emotionally, mentally andphysically.. and then compensated me with care..and gifts and money by fighting with my dad. I later got into a relationship with someone who was just like my mom.🙁☹

@Karsyn_Marie Год назад

Omg same. Thts how I knew my mom was a narcissist once I met this guy. He was a reflection of my mom.

@xK-la 4 года назад

I finally moved out of home and haven't seen my dad since. Its been the best 11 months of my life - just because your parent is a narcisst doesn't mean that you have to put up with them. Anyone who reads this and feels like you are stuck, I promise that you aren't! You can leave!

@lunaeydis4426 4 года назад

I know. I left,too. It has barely been a week,but I feel AMAZING! 🤩

@xK-la 4 года назад

Luna Eydis I’m so glad to hear that! Happy for you! X

@elhadjdiallo633 3 года назад

Wow well spoken sister.......narcs have ruined millions of lives in this universe......stay away from toxic folks ....yall gotta run for y'all lives !!!!!!

@andrewjay3218 Год назад

5 years deep and going through a divorce now. I still don’t know what happened throughout our entire relationship.. I can’t remember anything really. It’s hard to tell my days apart. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I start therapy in the next month, which was something she always told me made me weak for wanting, so I never got it. I’m excited to start but her voice still rings in my head..

@TeeTs-tz3nz 5 месяцев назад

You deserve better gal 😊

@Ueruchan 4 года назад

I forget sometimes that my negative thoughts about myself come from my dad and not me. I'm NOT being overdramatic, I'm NOT "trying to manipulate" him. It's okay for me to feel what I'm feeling.

@saumyasawleshwarkar8259 4 года назад

Talking really helps! I talk to my friend and my therapist and realized none of it was because of or about me - it's not my fault! AT ALL!!! Still struggling as it's a parent but it's good to just know it's not my fault.

@shoseikunpsychologypvt1299 4 года назад

heey. Saumya.. yeah we all need to talk to someone.... the therapist is the best option. Much love xo

@moscowcowboy_13 Год назад

I am so raw that even though I know I need to watch these videos and work on me, I get so distracted, I keep pausing it, maybe taking notes, or looking at something else for a minute. It's really hard for me to completely be in the moment right now because I am so hurt.

@puccipuu1797 2 года назад

My top tip is if you’re ever tempted back think of your favourite event eg Christmas or birthdays and think how the narc or abuser made you feel before during and after these events and then think of how it could have gone if they weren’t there.

@realbihh3493 3 месяца назад

My mouth drop wide open … all I ever wanted to do was enjoy a holiday with my now 4 year old child … every year I say watch next year is going to be better … HE ALWAYS ATTACKS me hear holidays

@nuaru100 4 года назад

Every time I hear "talk it over with your therapist" I get depressed. If I could afford therapy, I'd be there.

@ub3rcube 4 года назад

If you live close enough to a university, it might be worth checking if any of them have low cost clinics available. I paid $5 a visit at a local university in a city for weekly 1 hour sessions and also a consulting psychiatrist for meds. You have to keep in mind you're probably getting someone who is still in school for psychology, but it's a massive help if nothing else is available/practical for you at the time.

@alexandrugheorghe5610 4 года назад

There're also "as you go" solutions for paying the therapist only what you need (that can be even 15 minutes) through platforms like Talkspace. Although, if you can, I strongly advise going with someone you click, face.to face.or even Skype (nowadays...) and see if the therapist can offer you a deal of paying maybe in different times what you owe (most will agree to some scheme that meets both needs). Building that relationship of trust is key to recovering.

@shoseikunpsychologypvt1299 4 года назад

I understand that...psychologists tell that because they know that smth can be solved only face to face or private conversation with specialist. They said it with best intentions

@nuaru100 4 года назад

@@shoseikunpsychologypvt1299 I understand it's with best intentions. Didn't mean to sound judgy. :)

@nuaru100 4 года назад

@@alexandrugheorghe5610 Thanks!

@deliabennett2778 4 года назад

You always post what i need at the moment😫❤

@Katimorton 4 года назад

I hope it was helpful!! I know it can be hard being in a relationship like that can healing from it. xoxo

@hinafatima978 4 года назад

Love from pakistan❤ you always explain in the best way.

@Katimorton 4 года назад

Awe I am so glad :) Sending love your way too!! xoxo

@abbyjolet4114 4 года назад

Almost two months ago my mom and I left my narcissistic father, thank you for this!

@grayonthewater 4 года назад

Ugh I wanted my mom and I to do that so bad but my mom is religious and doesn’t believe in divorce 😫 good for you guys!

@shoseikunpsychologypvt1299 4 года назад

Heey congratulations!!!both of you are so brave and strong to do!!!:)) much love xo

@brokenhalo315 4 года назад

It's been a year since I ended the abusive relationship I was in, and I find that I'm still hurting from it. I know I have a ways to heal yet, so thank you for the reminder and the validation!

@eleni-boraldamanelari5853 3 года назад

Same here! There are moments I feel I have done an enormous job and other moments when I feel I’m at square one:( No contact at all with him has helped me a lot though and I wish I had done this from the very beginning!

@Jessica_BR 3 года назад

Forgiveness (I don't mean get back to it) is the only way for healing

@MikeVeny 4 года назад

The hardest part for me has been acknowledging that it happened and giving it a name. As I've worked through this through journaling and in therapy, it's been incredibly healing. In fact, I'm almost to the point where I can think of this person and not get triggered. Thanks for the work you do Kati! 🙂

@leahingraham5509 6 месяцев назад

I journaled through it all and it was therapeutic but now that I'm mostly past it I feel reading all those horrible times may just be triggering

@reginarossetti8810 3 года назад

I needed to hear this. I miss him so much even though he put me through horrible things. I just want to stop feeling like this.

@christiancarrillo2209 2 года назад

Wxzxapp me.

@reginarossetti8810 2 года назад

@@christiancarrillo2209 no

@crystinamarie1 27 дней назад

That's the part where I keep coming back. I end up missing him and thinking was it so bad?

@icevalkyrie7 4 года назад

I havent been in a relationship in a long time because of the fear it left me with. Been taking it one day at time for a long while now so I wish anyone who has gone through this all the best.

@RD-ms9gn 3 года назад

I sympathize with you as I haven't been in a relationship for so long. I am lonely but I also don't want another narcissist.

@aijazsiddique8713 2 месяца назад

I concur. Same here. Not been in a relationship in a long time after a nasty relationship. Been taking it slow.

@yabokuyui1701 4 года назад

Thank you for posting this!! I was worried about this just now! I have a narcissistic parent and i'm very emotionally unstable because of it. Still watching it but thankful that it popped up today.

@Katimorton 4 года назад

Of course!! I hope it's helpful!! xoxo

@anjithaa4521 4 года назад

My parent is also a narcissist!

@yabokuyui1701 4 года назад

@@KatimortonIt was, thank you so much!

@yabokuyui1701 4 года назад

@@anjithaa4521 I'm so sorry to hear that! Having a narcissistic parent can really mess you up. I hope you're holding up!

@anjithaa4521 4 года назад

@@yabokuyui1701 It is hard...But as soon as i can i will try to distance myself from that person...I am hopeful about a better future...Thank you for being understanding my friend..💖

@sidrakamal3595 3 года назад

Takeaways: acknowledge abuse(outside perspectives help them lose power), grieve or mourn loss, recognize patterns in your relationships, heal from trauma, reclaim yourself

@alicesummers5288 4 года назад

How do you deal with them being hot and cold? Sometimes my mum is nice for a while and I'm like "wow maybe she's changed". Then after a while she'll be really mean to be again. It makes me doubt things like, was she always this nice?

@_just_TK 4 года назад

It’s part of the cycle of abuse

@christychapin8357 3 года назад

Look up “trauma bonding”

@ShiroxYume 3 года назад

How do you emotionally manage the gaslighting from a narcissist when it happens? I feel a strong need to correct them but I know it will not end well and these feelings inside me of being wrongfully accused is extremely unsettling

@fembot521 3 года назад

Imagine growing up like this? Your whole identity is wrapped up in how the narcissist manipulated you. You have zero idea who you are.

@christiancarrillo2209 2 года назад

Wxzxapp me.

@Peanuts76 2 года назад

Me, they always try to define me and controlling, i try to survive each single day, only to end up abused by my family, ive had many mental breakdowns

@Logger2008 4 года назад

Everything you said in this video resonated with me. I moved out of my abusive mother's house the day after I graduated high school and have had very limited contact with her ever since. I think the hardest part for me is explaining to people that I actually suffered trauma. No one who meets my mother would ever suspect that she could be abusive, and what makes it harder is that she has MS, and is now totally dependent on my step-dad's assistance, so it's easy for people to judge me for abandoning her. It's been 17 years, and I've done a lot of hard work to heal, but it's still an uphill battle. I'm really lucky that I have a support system of people that believe me, and love me.

@debbienpeters 4 года назад

Totally agree. And people, for me, act like cause it's my mother she can anything she wants to me. Like her being a mom is some excuse to behave however she wants.

@marccline5475 2 года назад

One of the things that bothers me the most is knowing that they just wont ever understand. Very frustrating .

@crystinamarie1 27 дней назад

So true.

@jeanettecollins3188 2 года назад

What about the anger? I was used, abused, and lost everything. So my anger is not just at him. It's at me! I'm so ashamed of myself!

@victoriajension8302 4 года назад

I feel like I'm the only person who doesn't feel any grief about cutting off my relationship with my mom... like I genuinely just don't want her in my life but I feel like I should care more about it but I really don't

@mandolaa 3 года назад

Don't judge what u feel. It is what it is. At least u don't have the guilt that many people struggle with, after taking the decision of no contact. Enjoy that

@blondangel79 4 года назад

The narcissist in my life was my parents. One of the things that was really hard for me but had a big impact was reparenting myself

@jadegreen1554 Год назад

7:19 this is a step it seems easy to miss and to not engage in (it is not intrinsic or obvious and needs external guidance) this is almost like reparenting. Without this step happening successfully the patterns will repeat or people will just give up on relationships and stay alone, always untrusting of relationships. This is the a crucial step and not easy.

@cheriejohnson9445 3 года назад

I was married to a narcissist and the counselor I was seeing never acknowledged it and told me to let it go and get over it. Thank you for saying it was ok for me to grieve the loss.

@kellithomas4737 Год назад

The Therapist probably knew nothing about Narcissistic abuse. My therapist pretty much told me the same thing. It's hard to give advice on a topic you have no clue about. I had to stop going to that Therapist and find someone who knows about narcissistic abuse. My ex was able to manipulate the Therapist. It was horrible!

@drewjones1758 4 года назад

Whenever I have to deal with my narcissistic ex I always make sure that it’s done through a trusted friend that was never a mutual friend. That way it puts them on the spot to behave and cooperate and removes any ability for them to direct abuse or manipulation directly at me. It also helps having the support of that friend during the interaction and provides someone to help point out when I’m being gaslit it’s manipulated.

@Eco_Hiko 4 года назад

I grew up under an overprotective narcissist for 25 years. Spent the last 3 years trying to heal. I need this video in my life

@rachelf1124 4 года назад

I’m currently having emdr therapy for 7 years narcissistic abuse within a platonic relationship. I never heard of this kind of thing spoken about happening between friends so I didn’t believe it was happening. This really resonates with me.

@CassieWinter 4 года назад

Thank you for normalizing going no contact or low contact with abusers.

@chrisslate1506 Год назад

1:25 - 2:40 Described my life PRECISELY over the past few months. I can't stay away.I depend on them for the only thing that allows me to come close to almost feeling some sort of joy (or feeling at all)

@mrs.jessicabentson3494 Год назад

This is the part that always left me in confusion. He would acknowledge his wrong doing, cry a river, but the in rage verbal abuse and control never stopped

@maimaivaj91 Год назад

It wasn't until I saw my toxic ex again after 4 years of having broken up that I realized the person who I used to be is no longer here. At first I was sad about it but then later realized how far I have came and how much I have grown emotionally, mentally, and financially. I am so proud of the changes I have made to drastically improve myself and my life. It's okay to mourn a past self, just remember to appreciate where you are now and what progress you have made.

@trinomial-nomenclature 4 года назад

I wish you would have, briefly, talked about how to co-parent with a narcissist. Also doing a video about how a narcissist parents behaviour affects a young child's mental health, would be interesting. Actually a video about parents having any mental health illness and how it affects young children would be interesting. Ps. Please excuse me if you have, I haven't be able to look through all your videos yet.

@NoticalMyles 4 года назад

I would be interested in this as well!

@MichaelaMahar 4 года назад

Omg yes please!!! I am always worrying about the effects my children's father will have on them and how to help them and keep them safe. I believe the only way to co-parent with a narcissist is through the court system and minimal contact unfortunately.

@CaylynAdamko 4 года назад

This would be a great video!

@LoveParigi95 4 года назад

I'm not Kati (or even a professional in mental health or anything) but things that might be helpful: - keep records of any complaints your kids make against the other parent (might help in court) - give kids access to therapy if possible - do some reading on how to someone heals from a narcissistic parent (Kati has previously mentioned the book emotionally absent mother which may help, just disregard the gender if incorrect) and do those things for your kiddos - make sure you create an environment where your kids can come to you with anything, even the really hard stuff, and learn how to be there most effectively for them and validate their emotions etc. - learn about emotionally intelligent parenting ( @seed.and.sew on Instagram is one resource I can think of off the top of my head) Unfortunately you can't control how your co-parent parents but you can control whether you're there for your kiddos, and if you're consistently a safe person for them to go to that will help.

@_just_TK 4 года назад

You may find this video helpful! ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-6xsjzkRmaRA.html

@milenaciaramella3524 4 года назад

Love youuuuuuuuuuuu 💜 you are like my favourtite weekly appointment

@Katimorton 4 года назад

Awe yay!!! xoxo

@legallyredone5561 4 года назад

Katie, how do you cope with the unintentional gaslighting by a spouse on the Autism Spectrum? I find myself feeling like I am going crazy, and doubt myself. Since he has ASD, I know he doesn't mean it, but how do I handle it? Especially when I look poorly and constantly am told what a wonderful husband. I KNOW he's fantastic, but being married to him feels traumatizing.

@lizstroud9029 4 года назад

Look. I am autistic. People on the spectrum are abusive too. He does mean it. Please leave if being with him is traumatizing. Don't let anyone or anything fool you anymore. PLEASE. You deserve to be happy and free.

@rimamuryantinahutagalung 4 года назад

@@lizstroud9029 agreed. I know a lot of good people in the spectrum who don't gaslight and don't make people traumatized. Abusive people are abusive. Whether they have ASD or other developmental disorder is another case.

@_just_TK 4 года назад

I’m on the Autism spectrum & I do best when people are blunt and say clearly exactly what they need from me. If u are doing this & ur husband is still gaslighting, it’s an issue with him. He should want to meet you 1/2 way

@renatatearoom3819 4 года назад

I am so confused! after eight months officially single, confusion is what I feel the most, even in other type of conflicts with other type of people, I feel I cannot trust my memories anymore😔 just needed to share

@mandolaa 3 года назад

I feel the same sometimes. The gashlighting is getting dissolved and everything is cleansing, but i struggle sometimes to trust what was true and what was not. I think deep inside our soul knows the truth

@itsme-yv7ep 4 года назад

I just had my first session with a counselor provided by my university. Growing up with a narcissistic mother I'm starting to notice absoulute denial to my trama.

@joelgibbs4038 4 года назад

Hi Kati, thank you❤. Please share a video on building residence or assertive communications or traumatic healing.

@Katimorton 4 года назад

I have video on both of those topics! Just search my name and resiliency and then search for communication and they will pop up! xoxo

@_just_TK 4 года назад

Here are the links! ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-abB-bQc_aXk.html ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-dqzxwcOSjuM.html ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-28bRqKuea70.html

@jonellekatene3703 3 года назад

I just got of a 3 year relationship, but were still hooking up, aka sex,I feel awful because I know it's wrong and he's just using me. He doesn't give me anything else. I just want familiarity and love. I've been so depressed from this,I've never been this depressed. It's breaking me, I've lost myself. I don't do anything anymore,I'm just a hermit and basically close myself away from the world. I don't wanna live like this anymore. I'm gonna try hard to follow these steps.

@paolamanzanarez432 3 года назад

Don’t give up ❤️ You got this ❤️

@moscowcowboy_13 Год назад

Limited contact with a narcissist is called living in denial, I do not recommend it. It only puts off the inevitable. The sooner you break contact, the sooner you find yourself again and can start living life how you truly were meant to.

@RainRemnant Год назад

Not sure how to get over this relationship after he dumped me yesterday after 4 years of marriage. I have my issues too but boy what a reality check in this video.... so many chances I gave him but he never did anything wrong, it was always me and me not letting go of that, I wonder if my feelings ever really mattered but got so bashed by words yesterday it just made me feel even smaller... and worst I did give him everything, after my mother passed away 3 years ago he was all I had in my life. Thank you "forever love", I'm lost now

@tammyfitzgerald5336 Год назад

Yes 🙌 ❤stand up take a hot bath

@micahrutland9021 9 месяцев назад

You pretty much described my last relationship.

@tinanel49 2 года назад

I needed to hear this because I keep thinking about the narcissist it’s been 3 months since the discard

@lynn8977 3 года назад

I’ve been going to therapy recently, and I learned that my dad is a narcissist. I never thought about him being like that, but as I’ve been seeing my therapist I’ve been seeing more signs. I’ve watched two of your narcissistic personality disorders and It has helped me understand more. It is getting a bit easier to deal with him, but it still makes me more and more depressed. I just keep thinking I have no self worth and if I was gone it’d be better for everybody. My dad keeps making me agree with myself on that. Plus being 16, I can’t get away from him yet, and I have to deal with him daily. My little brother seems to have it all together, however. He can just ignore everything my dad says and it’s mind blowing! He’s never seen a therapist about this so I was astonished! But anyways sorry for the rambling. I just want to thank you for making these videos because they really are making a difference for people. 💕

@Veronica.John10-10 2 года назад

I hope you're doing better now. You brother doesn't sound like an empath, like you, or maybe he's more of a "thinker" than a feeler. I hope you know that, despite that, the abuse isn't personal. In other words - if you hadn't been born and there was another child in your place, then the abuse would be exactly the same towards them. It isn't because of you, specifically. I have found that to be helpful a little in being more objective about what's going on. God bless you, sweet soul! ((hugs))

@WhiteWolf.the.Artist 2 года назад

I really appreciate this. I feel really broken and can't get out of bed.

@MissMaryLu 4 года назад

Kati, you have been SUCH a huge part of my recovery journey. Going back a few years now, I didn't even have a name for what was happening, or even believe what had been going on since childhood was real. i'm happy to say they are out of my life, i found a wonderful therapist, am at the end of my EMDR journey, and am exploring who i am and how to live without being ruled by fear. thank you for continuing to talk about this. it's so, so important.

@kelladohring9825 Год назад

My biggest problem… Is that my timeline of grieving my relationship of 22 years of marriage is not matching up with others around me. What my grief looks like is not appropriate in the eyes of my “religious” family. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what my narcissist ex husband broke. I need TIME. And if we are talking about the same God… he knows I need time, he knows I need healing and my “sin” is big enough for Him to cover.

@lisalawtonlyons Год назад

18yr marriage gone. My family thinks I should just, “get over it!” They have no clue how difficult that can be trying to tell yourself 18yrs we’re a lie, and now here you are. Easier said than done

@j00nal23 4 года назад

Hi Kati, thanks to your videos I realized I was actually abused by a toxic, narcissistic mother most of my life until I got old enough to move out. I'm 22 now and for the longest time I thought something was wrong with me, and I shouldn't feel the way I do, and that it's absurd that I have so much trauma from my younger years. I still struggle every day with many many problems that stem from the time I lived with her but as I've begun to understand more I've also started to slowly heal.

@mandolaa 3 года назад

Ohhh, I feel the same. Same exact situation

@imhere2775 4 года назад

What happened if it’s a family member? Like a mother or child?

@_just_TK 4 года назад

You may find this video helpful! ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-Ze6YB1gCDYQ.html

@Omori_Bocchi 4 года назад

My narcissistic abusive relationship ended 5 years ago and I've not spoken to them since but the trauma and scars left over from it still haunt me even today. I still don't know who I am or who I was. I still can't make contact with new people. I still blame myself for everything that went wrong. I have been stuck in the cycle for 5 years and I still wonder when I can be myself again. Instead I punish myself daily and chose to ruin my life for something that was done to me. Dont be like me, seek help as soon as you can. It only got worse for me and I dont know how to get my life back on track

@lindawise5546 2 года назад

Hoping you have counseled and are better. Hoping for you.

@asmeninasdoingles Год назад

How can I help someone to acknowledge that he/she was a victim once this person is still blindly in love, suffering, believing the narcissist is going to come back after 5 years of abandonment and having suicidal thoughts because of the narcissist? I appreciate your help!

@whiskeyrivers 4 года назад

My birth father is such a Narcissist. And VERY Abusive is every way possible. I finally ended our "relationship" for good! Thank you for this video!

@statesunlocked 3 года назад

Congratulations on being so brave and knowing when to say enough is enough.

@whiskeyrivers 3 года назад

@@statesunlocked Thank you.

@brittanywilliams4174 Год назад

My narcissist was so good at acting like he deeply loved me. Didn’t take too long he changed into the opposite person I moved today. My heart is broken. I feel like I can’t trust anyone again. 😢

@tammyfitzgerald5336 Год назад

Can never change em seriously no contact and get free now 🙌🙏🏽💯🙌🙏🏽💯

@TNT31414 3 года назад

U no I recently got cursed out because I told someone I wasn’t ready for a relationship. He wanted to take things slow and I said no I’m not ready and got cursed out. This guy lives on my block and now doesn’t even look my way and I could care less! God saved me and he continues to save me but I was straying and started letting my mind take over. I just need to stay celebate and concentrate on my kids even if that makes me bitter and lonely!

@MonstehDinosawr 3 года назад

You will have time for love when your kids are grown and living their own lives. My mum didn't meet my stepdad until she was in her 40s Do what you know is best for you and your family

@laurenm9224 3 года назад

I’m so grateful for videos like this and RU-vid. Knowledge is the best defense against a narcissist as well as healing. Being able to identify the red flags and setting boundaries is key because a narc will just move on to another easy target because it’s too exhausting to deal with someone that won’t put up with their abuse. They don’t like boundaries or people that don’t respond the way they want. Too much effort for them. It’s like they all read the same handbook as they all follow the same manipulative tactics and cycle of abuse. It’s sad that they target nice loving good natured people and unfortunately put them through absolute hell! Not knowing when you’re entangled with a narcissist and have no idea what you’re dealing with is like sleeping with your doors unlocked at night. Can’t assume everyone has your best interest at heart. One more point I want to make is that to a normal person a narcissist seems like the most complex person but in actuality they are the most basic people because once you identify they are a narc they are so easy to disarm by setting firm boundaries, gray rocking, no contact, showing little or no emotion and not falling for their love bombing. They’re emotionally stunted and never fully developed into healthy adults. Much love to anyone affected by these people. Watching videos and reading really helped me heal and understand what I needed to change about myself.

@Alright-o7o Год назад

I ended relationship with narcissist about 1 year now. It was really really hard to end it. I need to run away while he was sleeping. It's overwhelimg and I still have lots of things to express but I can't express it fully to anyone. This kind of relationship was really confused me about who I am. I still think about him and all the great memories we had together I even tried to go back and again it didn't work out. I'm glad that now I'm single and I have time to heal myself fully.

@DaisyRockbell 3 года назад

guys i am so down, its been 5 month now since he cheated on me and "broke up" he is ultimately narcissisistic so i know the facts but still it is so hard for me to move on and not thinking about the person i thought he was... i constandly catch myself checking his social media and all i see is that he already replaced me.. i know it sounds stupid i shouldnt do that and care anymore at all but still it bothers me so much that he just keep living like that and "be happy" i am also a very lonely and introverted person, i was also very codependent that is why i let him stay in my live for so long.. i wish i could get rid of this pain and anger i feel so much.. i never had to work on myself before it is total new to me to be on my own :(

@sniper999inhell 3 года назад

Stay strong sister..even i am going thru the same shit..dont worry time will heal everything

@c.m.303 2 года назад

Nicely done video. It is disheartening to see that it isn't just someone close to you...Narcissists are rewarded people in positions in coorporations as owners and managers over many and, entire school boards...and that trickles down to the teachers and the students. Trying to heal from abuse has been made much harder with how the world leaders have been handling situations over the last 2 years and witnessing the bizarre violence and behavior that was a result.

@doubleyou2375 4 года назад

I have been waiting for this video

@gideonmele1556 Год назад

Hey fellow traveler on the interwebs, may you heal from this and grow stronger. Stay strong and you can do it, may you discover and be all who you were made to be. Peace and God bless -Random youtube commenter also recovering from narcissists of the past

@123marksalot 4 года назад

My dad is a narcissistic and I recently was finally able to totally cut him out of my life. When I made the decision to do that I wasn’t sad about not having a relationship with him but rather I sad that my future kids will not have a grandfather or have someone walk me down the isle when I get married. I was sad that I would lose the “father” things that happen in life, but I realize that if I kept him in my life it would end up killing me.

@shawnskifstad9074 Месяц назад

Thank you for the wonderful words. I’m free after 26 years. I’m embarrassed I didn’t see it. My heart covered up the abuse. But the pit in my belly told me the truth. And my belief in God showed me the truth. I’m going through all the loss of the love of my life. I miss my best friend. But I’m to strong now. Thank you again for the true words. Hope this helps someone that needs help. Bless you❤