Dissociation: why it happens and what we can do about it 

If you’re reading this right now, chances are life hasn’t been fair at all to you. You’ve faced a lot of trauma and disappointment, but you’ve also overcome so much. Keep taking it one day at a time, just breathe and know it will get better ❤️

I asked my therapist to randomly say pineapple during session (both when he's talking and when I'm talking/thinking), and then I have to repeat it straight away to show that I'm present. If my response is delayed (or not at all), then I spaced out. It's worked well so far 🍍

Derealization makes me have a panic attack and vice versa. It feels like you're in the matrix and you can't get out

I feel like I'm in a simulation, even while watching this

"half of all adults have had at least one episode of DPDR" me, who dissociates several times a day: 😳

When my head goes no-no my brain goes bye-bye and my world goes wut-wut.

You’ll never understand it unless it’s happened to you, weirdest feeling ever. Literally like the matrix

I've found that arguments, raised voices, bright lights, stress, and sleep deprivation trigger my dp/dr

Fun fact: This video is helpful

so glad you brought up maladaptive daydreaming...most people don’t acknowledge it or know of its existence

What helped me to cope with derealization is to look at it like your brain putting a comfy blanket over it to protect itself from extra stimuli ❤️

I depersonalize a lot. I feel like a stranger in my own body, like im just kind of watching?

When you feel like that all the time and after few years you are not sure if that's you or this is how everyone perceives reality

The real pain begins, when DPDR becomes chronic. At that point grounding doesn't really do much.

Dissociation has been a part of my life much longer than I had thought. First time I really noticed it was in 6th grade while reading a paragraph about Aztec. While I read out loud I was lost in my mind going over the abuse I had experienced. Next thing I knew the teacher thanked me for reading. My heart was racing while thinking I had just shared to the entire class about my abuse. I looked around and no one seemed concerned or was even looking at me. How did I read out loud an entire paragraph while being completely consumed in my head about the abuse?

I've lived most of my life in a dissociated state due to trauma.

I was just diagnosed with complex PTSD about a year ago. I dissociate all the time, I'm not sure I've been fully present in years. It sucks but I'm glad I'm finally on a path to getting the treatment I need

I KIND OF ENJOY DISSOCIATING NGL ... I FEEL MUCH BETTER IN THE WORLD THAT I HAVE CREATED 😊

Dissociation allowed me to survive my childhood during a time when tough love and “suck it up” was standard approach to mental health issues. Getting good at masking, especially masking the dissociation long enough to extract myself and hide. At 63 years old I’m finally unpacking this with a professional that gets it, but I know I will never be able to enjoy social situations as 60 years of ingrained behavior has become automatic to the point that any deviation is extremely overwhelming.

this happened to me last year. In 2021 I didn’t feel like myself it felt like nothing was alive and I was just floating in the world. Everyday i tried trying to do the things I love and remembered who I was eventually it payed off one day I woke up feeling like myself. If youre reading this you will be okay you are powerful and I know you can beat this terrible disease

Dissociation 😔 is SO HARD! I HATE IT... Walking through life zombified is not living. It's a nightmare! I feel like I've wasted my life and still am😔 Thank you for the video Katie x

I used to love when I dissociated. I was relived to have the break. Sure life didn't feel real there but it didn't feel real being depressed or anxious either. But now that the real would feels real again I'm glad to be there most of the time.

This made me realize that i might need to go to therapy

I’ve been in a dpdr episode all day everyday for nearly 3 weeks. When it happened I consciously felt the transition between my normal self to this intoxicated feeling, I was at home just eating some food at the time, it was so frightening, one minute I was there and the next I was so disconnected from everything, my emotions, my surroundings, I felt like I couldn’t control my actions or my speech, there was even a physical feeling in my head when it happened. Even after 3 weeks of knowing I’m absolutely fine I still can’t help thinking I’m going insane. I’m just so thankful for content creators and communities here, it makes feel grounded, I don’t know where I would be without the use of the internet.

For example, you might dissociate when you are very stressed, or after something traumatic has happened to you. You might also have symptoms of dissociation as part of another mental illness like anxiety. For many people these feelings will pass over time.👍

I’ve never disassociated during a session, but i have on my way home from a session. I remember getting on the bus, and then all of a sudden I’m at home. (My bus ride is 1.5 hours long)

Being able to tune out my childhood in my head as a kid, was a lifesaver. But, it also kept me from developing the proper social skills I needed to find and maintain meaningful relationships outside of my family unit.

I havent felt real in a very long time. I feel like im dissociated majority of the time, for days, even weeks at a time. Too poor for resources atm, trying my best to learn what i can from you here on youtube, you've helped me a alot Kati!!

I dissociate less than I used to, or for less time. Sometimes I really miss it. But once I was more present it was like waking from a drug- induced dream, like I had spent my whole life not really there. Colors were brighter. Food tasted better. The good stuff was really really good. .... the hard/sad things were really really hard and sad. I was like a toddler in a lot of ways I had to learn how to handle big emotions.

Was literally just searching RU-vid for something to watch then boom this notification comes up......WINNING! 👌

Its good to know that you're not the only one going through something. Well I've been depersonalized and derealized for 10 years now. Mine was due to trauma, a lot of crazy stuff happened in my family when I was a kid even till now, it really messed me up. Everything feels like a dream, objects around me are wider and flat and seem farther away from me. I get panic attacks like occasionally. I'm also aggressive towards people even though I don't wanna be. Sometimes I come back to reality, and then I get really scared and start screaming and crying involuntarily cos even though it looks real I'm just so used to seeing everything distorted and then i revert back to the dream state. Also I tend to laugh alot, also find it very hard to focus. I find it really hard to make proper eye contact with people. It's just really crazy.

Who else had to skip back coz they started dissociating? 🙃😂

I grew up with a paranoid schizophrenic alcoholic father & my mom was paraplegic. So u can imagine the horror of my childhood. I realized when talking to my cousin who I was really close with from childhood up that she has all these memories of us and I only have about 20 memories from the ages of 4-16 (which at 16 my dad got sober and started taking his Thorazine and Librium) I’m now starting to think I disassociated as a child. It’s really strange to have ur cousin tell u all the things I did and said as a child and I can’t remember any of it.

I realized I had a problem like this when several years ago my dogs were passing away and I wouldn’t cry or grieve properly. even when they were being put to sleep right In front of me it was like my mind went very quiet and I felt numb and detached. It feels like part of me is dead.

Woman, you are helping change lives out here!! Congrats on 1 million subscribers! Thank you for all that you do. 🙏🏼 💜 ♥️

congrats on getting to 1 million Kati!!! these videos have helped me so much in the time i’ve been watching your channel!

the timing is almost scary, are you teaming up with my FBI guy??? I appreciate you ❤

clicks lol

I cried watching this. This is how I feel every day. Thank you for sharing. Started following your page today for inspiration to get help.

I've just moved away for uni for the first time in my life, and having you talk to the camera so friendly and understanding is really helping me.

I’ve “blocked” out a ton of my life. It’s intense. When I relocated and went into hiding from a toxic relationship I was in a state that left me constantly getting lost in the rural area I lived in. I think I’m losing periods of time at this point. Nothing feels real anymore. Where I live there are very limited mental health services and now my job has been eliminated. I had been working from home since March. I live alone and have no support system. I did one EMDR session through my EAP and now they aren’t allowed to have patients in person. I only have a couple visits left. Even if I could afford to buy groceries or whatever I don’t think I can even leave my house. I’m screaming uncle at this year. I don’t understand how there are endless bottoms under my rock bottom. I know the whole world is suffering so I feel even worse about everything. I feel like the global pandemic sucked everyone into the shit storm of a world I was living in.

My current RU-vid channel faves: Kati Morton and Ask a Mortician. Love them.

The little T's and big T's actually helped me feel validated of my experiences. It given me such insight that what I'm going through is really something, I never actually heard of it. I always thought that I'm just making things up that's why I always dissociate more than enough. Thanks for this!

So, I found your channel today, and just watching your videos guided me to a lot of resources and explanations that helped me to better understand myself and possible things I might be experiencing. I learnt more about myself today from you than I did in the last 4 years going through therapy, counseling and all that. Thank you.. so much.

For me, I find it crops up when I'm alone for an extended period of time. I'm an introvert and have anxiety so naturally, I focus too far inwards and lose touch with my surroundings. When I do get D/P, I feel as though I'm watching myself and that my eyes aren't really mine or I'm in a VR. It's much better when I'm immersed in a task, whether that's at work or at the gym. The worst thing you can do is sit around thinking about it. Live as normally as possible. This is how I saw improvement.

Whoa, I love how you explain the difference between derealization and depersonalization. I've never identified with depersonalization before, but derealization is bang on the money for me.

I needed this comment section today. Y'all are warriors. I'm sloping down from a dissociated state right now.

Thank you Kati for having this channel. I just found you and you are great. Keep keeping us informed and educated. Thank you!

Thank you for making this video, completely validating. It was definitely hard to even stay present during the video simply cause I was already thinking about so many other things. You are right, I am one of the ones that do prefer to be disassociating, which usually happens quite often.

This has been happening to me a lot in therapy, thank you Kati 💕 I needed this one

I’m so happy you posted this video because I got chronic DPDR from smoking weed back in 2019 and I still suffer from it, it was debilitating and still affects me to this day. Totally changed my life around and Ive been waiting for a video from you on this :))) because its not very common and people don’t really talk about it too much. thank you!!!

Thank you so much for making this video. I've been trying to understand an incident that happened to me a few years ago at work. I didn't have the words to describe what happened to me, and I struggle with feeling like the resulting trauma was valid. I'm still a little lost for how to get over what happened, but this video is a step in the right direction.

I start dissociating, whenever someone starts their criticism... and then totally become unresponsive if they add a blame for it too that they have no connection to me.

When I was still living with my parents I would frequently go into a state that I believe was dissociation when I was being scolded (screamed at really). It was like I was looking through a magnified fisheye lenses, my moms face was the only thing in my vision, her features would look strangely distorted like from a fish eye lense, I could hear her but it was muffled and I could only process certain words at a time, and it seemed as though I (as in my consciousness I guess?) was sitting in the back of my head watching everything like it was on a wrap around screen. The thing that really set it into place for me that something was actually going on was my mom would always pause mid rant and comment about "the look on my face" and would wonder if I was even listening. I've come to speculate that in those situations of high stress, I was disassociating. It rarely happens now that I've moved out, but occasionally I will experience it in certain situations. Last time I clearly remember it happening was in a job interview 🤦‍♀️suddenly all I could see was this lady's face, I could see her lips moving but I wasn't really processing anything she said. Eventually my panic of realization that "holy crap, I can't let this happen during an interview, I'm going to have to respond!" was able to pull me back to reality.

I feel like I understand myself much better. I needed to hear this. Thank you for everything you do.

So happy I found your channel. I just started my first year of my masters in marriage & family therapy program! I’m glad mental health is becoming more accessible through platforms like yours :’)

Yesss Katie spreading health knowledge and urging us to stay safe

Thanks for that kati! All I've experienced in the spectrum is "brain fog" a few months ago during the stress of it all. I hope you are doing well--I know last week you said you were ready to take a break, and that sounds like a really good plan!

Thank you !! That’s the biggest issue finding the right therapist !!!

Thank you for explaining WHY it occurs. My sister, 18 mos. younger, deals with Dissociation. I understood the reasons behind her other disorders but my best guess on dissociation was sensory overload, possibly because she doesn't seem to work with her emotions any more. If she does physically display emotion, she does it in absolute private. She's become very guarded but has told me about her dissociative episodes. After hearing you explain it, I realized I had an episode myself. It helps to explain a comment I made decades ago, shortly after I was physically attacked, to my attacker. A second or two after it came out of my mouth, hearing the playback in my head snapped me back to reality. Now I totally get it. Thank you so much, Katie!

You mentioned maladaptive daydreaming. Thank you for recognizing this!

Hello guys, I've suffered from severe Depersonalization/ derealization disorders. This is my fifth year living with derealization disorder (Depersonalization has gone). I just wanna say to everyone that IT GETS BETTER. Most of the scary symptoms have gone away, and when some other symptoms appear they are not that intense or you are just used to it so panic doesn't take over. Also the symptoms are not that frequent anymore. I live a very normal life. I know most people around you will not understand what a nightmare this is but I do. And I'm telling you that you are NOT going crazy (that's what I thought), know that you are not alone and that it will get better, I promise. Stay strong. P.S. Know also this, after this bad experience you will feel the strongest person in the world and that there is no challenge on earth that you cannot overcome!

I don't struggle much with overwhelming negative self talk but when you said that it also was "believing there's something innately wrong with us".. that hit. I didn't really realise that was negative self talk until you brought it up, thanks!

Hello, Kati. I just met your channel and it has already become one of my favorites on mental health. Could you please talk about the difference between dissociation and inattention in ADHD, and what it is like to be ADHD and have dissociative symptoms?

It feels so strange it happened to me when I had to fly over the Atlantic, I’m terrified of flying 😩 Thank you so much for your videos 💕

I mean, I hit like even before the actual video. Right after that beautiful and caring reminder at the beginning ♥ Thanks for caring and spreading the word 👏

Covid capped a recently diagnosed heart condition. So what you described is a normal reaction to too much pain for me. I didn’t ever think of it as part of my diagnosis by therapists but now that I have a name for it I’ll share with my Dr. Thank you for speaking so clearly. It is easy to learn from you.

I always get extremely panicked when I dissociate cause I don't know when itll end 😅 I hate feeling like nothing is real it makes me want to "wakeup" but I never can...

I suffer from derealization and a couple of other things and it Sucks! Everyday is a struggle. I would cut off all my hair and I wish I could have Brain surgery just to feel Normal again. I would sit and Rot away in my house But I have a reason to get up every day that's for my kids.

oh my gosh!!! i’ve been struggling with this for so long. thank you!! ❤️

You're a blessing Kati. Thank you so much for providing us with your wisdom. It helps me figure out what's going on with me.☺💙

This is my life: Figuratively, I sit on a bus, I watch the world go past. People get on and off the bus, occasionally I interact with them superficially. I have ptsd, depression and anxiety. One day the bus trip will be over.

Finally a mental health professional RU-vidr who knows it’s not pronounced dis-association. 👏🏻👏🏻 you wouldn’t believe how many videos I’ve seen people say did-association and I legit can’t even watch it.

Katie you're a blessing. Thank you so much for your channel.

Kati, always you put a smile on my face..... everytime.i feel low I just wanna watch your videos and try to get better ..... You are the one who always pulls me back from my gloomy trauma ..... Each time I watch a new video of yours makes me to understand what I had gone through and iam going through at present Hope I will be able get rid of this tough times ...... Love you angel👼❤️ Hope many of the people are getting some help to cope and try to regain positiveness like me just because of you .......thank you

It happens to me when I’m driving. I am there driving but, my mind is elsewhere and when I realize I am in the car driving I get shocked how I managed to drive for minutes.

I dissociate 24/7 It’s been like one long episode for years, I haven’t gotten a break from dissociation since about 2013/14 Before that I used to have some episodes which eventually went away, but since then i haven’t felt present ever It’s frustrating at this point

When I first started disassociating due to environment, it was from past trauma. I didn't know it at the time what was happening to me. I thought it was my thyroid medicine and so did my doctor. I was explaining it was like an "out of body" experience. They got WAY worse over time. they would go away for weeks sometimes months. then for no reason a week or two of completely dehabilitating events. this lasted for about 3 years. I saw a neurologist and everything. After getting custody of my kids (a relief of constant stress) I moved to a new State 2K miles away and the events were here and there but not consistent. I had a family member stay with me that dropped a childhood trauma bombshell on me that released all sorts of memories I didn't know I had. That sucked. The events were now happening hourly every day, and even in my sleep. I was seeking therapy for what happened to my head when I learned of all the abuse, which turns out was a life saver - literally. After 1 or 2 therapy sessions I had "an attack" as I used to call it. My therapist knew right way it was disassociation and waited. I can remember seeing his face during the event. He was almost grimacing, but in a very sad supportive way. After the event he asked me several questions which triggered another one. He asked me the same questions during the event which was extremely confusing. He was patient and waited again. Finally, after managing these episodes over a year or so I no longer have disassociations. I can feel them starting. I can feel the cold air across my forehead and the blood drain from the roof of my mouth. When that happens, I ask myself the questions. :) Last month, I met my treatment goals and no longer see my therapist on a schedule which does not suck. :) I was diagnosed with BPD / PTSD I would not meet the DSM for BPD any more after the therapy treatments, proving that you can overcome BPD. I will always have PTSD but I am fortunate to know now how to completely manage it. I hope this helps let others know that you CAN overcome many things in your life. It's a long road with many turns and exits. Sometimes, you have to ask for directions, and sometimes, you need to call an Uber. :)

Kati! Talk about timing! I'm in the process of uploading a video about dissociation that I realized I've been experiencing for years and used your previous videos for guidance. I'm glad to see there's another!

I've been struggling with DP/DR for about 5 years. Scariest feelings I've ever felt.

It makes me go "oh so it's ME thinking? I'm Ellie in this life?" Like when you pause the videogame you've been playing for hours and you're not the character anymore

a special thank you for the message at the end, as those were words I definitely needed to hear myself. It was my place of safety aged 14/15 but now I’m 20 and have been trying to stop retreating into that comfort- utilising my support system instead

This video was very educational. I don't struggle with dissociation, but I have close family members that do, so knowing that I could talk to them and find out what I could do in those moments is super helpful. Thanks Kati!

Sometimes I end up dissociating and it worries me quite a bit, I can’t wait to hear your thoughts and advice on it!! ❤️

I do dissociate when I'm on a stressful situation (a presentation, a talk to my boss, a moment when I have to stand my ground, when late for work, etc.) or when I'm with a lot of things in my head. Sometimes it's very scary to notice I spaced out for hours and/or I can't remember what I just did a second ago.

I spent YEARS wondering why nothing seemed real to me. I knew it was, but the only way I could describe it was like I was watching life as a movie. Only recently have I been diagnosed properly, and while it's not quite managed, its getting better. I have real moments of clarity now, and I'm able to recognize what's going on when it's not. I'm still working on grounding, but it IS getting better. Thank you for making this video.

Wow.. i didn’t realize that I was depersonalizing and de realizing things. I’ve definitely noticed I felt that more this year. I’m glad I came across your videos. They’ve been helping me

MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING omg you have no idea how excited I was when I heard you say that. I’ve been dealing with MD for 10 years now and NO ONE talks about it. Could you make a video about it please?

See, I used to think I've never experienced. Then I realized those moments where everything kinda got fuzzy and I was just zoning out, and then when I came back to, I had a realization that I was and individual in a space surrounded by things and have control over my movements was most likely a form of depersonalozation. It's really disorientating.

Your suggestion of trauma could be big or small, could be a series of events that overwhelms your system really helps. Often we only know disassociation comes from trauma such as childhood trauma, which might not happen to many people suffering from disassociation. Happy to finally found this video looking at it from a different perspective.

I struggle with all of the above. I have recently been diagnosed with DID and I dissociate daily. My therapist usually just stays quiet and lets me go through it if it happens during a session because I will often switch out to one of my alters and she continues the therapy with them. But helps to bring me back before the session is over. I've built a strong bond with my therapist and I am grateful for all of her help. Thank you for your educational videos on the subjects, keep up the great work!!

When I stopped dissociating all the time I felt like I lost my “super-power”.

I've been practicing dissociation fairly regularly since childhood.

you posted this at the right time, i was in need of this video

I swear when i disassociate (i have panic disorder) i literally went up to someone i trusted and told him " im literally watching myself and need you to talk me back down into my body." It was insane. He helped me though and talked me down. Thank you for making this video

Is this why I literally can’t remember how any intense argument went after the fact.

First time I ever watched you in video was the Jake Paul videos. And now I’m in school for child and youth care with addictions and my teacher has your videos in her curriculum :)

This video literally uploaded the day after I started disociating due to some major fear and trauma issues. Thank you universe!

Anyone else crying while watching this video? It's been the hardest week. Thanks for posting Kati

I dissociate when I’m at a event like a party or wedding. I also do it when I’m doing mundane tasks...especially when I’m cooking...does anyone else dissociate without a traumatic trigger?