6 Reasons Highly Intelligent People Struggle Finding Love 

Which anime is your fav? Mine is Jujutsu Kaisen!

"The intelligent person understands that their happiness is their own responsibility, not their partners" nailed it.

Hello fellow highly intelligent single people😂

Something worth pointing out: The socially awkward smart guy trope is not representative of all high IQ people. There are those who are socially graceful, not syper analytical, and easily find love. They just happen to be extremely smart. They may leverage their intelligence to figure out how to thrive socially. The awkward smart guy trope is inspired by high iq people who apply their intelligence in non social pursuits, like the hard sciences. Thus, high iq is not synonomous with issues socializing, just that those who are that way are over represented in the high iq conversation.

I was called stupid in 6 ways

Finding someone who is emotionally intelligent secured and not manipulative is the real challenge.

7. Highly intelligent people are much more aware of possible consequences when a relationship turns sour and often find that it's not worth the risk.

7. High intelligence doesn't necessarily mean high tact. We're used to being smarter than other people, and tend to assume they won't understand us. So either we never talk to begin with, or we sound like a know it all, which doesn't make us very popular. Also, usually intelligent people want to tell the truth as they see it, and forget to think about how it may affect someone else's feelings. For all our overthinking, sometimes we think too much about the wrong things.

I'm intelligent, but I'm not sure I'd call myself highly intelligent, but I definitely do relate to this. I overthink about everything when I date, I love my independence and want to make sure it's still something I have in a relationship, I prioritize my goals and plans, I have high standards (that people try to talk me into lowering all the time to "not be alone"), I have good boundaries after some working on them, I love with my heart, but my mind has to agree with it, and I don't mind being single, so right now in my life, I'm single by choice. Not even sure I'll ever date again, tbh.

"Loneliness is often the byproduct of a gifted mind"

0:45 they overthink 1:49 they love their indepentence 2:33 they prioritize their job 3:11 they have high standards 3:44 they think with their head,not their gut 4:27 they are single by choice Waiting for the right one is way better than risking your peace of mind❤

4:34 Leebit! Wasn‘t expecting him to accompany us in this video. Love this small detail

#2 They love their independence.

This is painfully accurate. I’m not claiming to be overly intelligent or anything, but after years of psychological growth, hard truths and life experience, I have set almost impossibly high standards for both dating and friendships. I’m very kind and friendly with everyone I cross paths with but it’s been very difficult to find “close” friends and partners that I actually trust with all of my personal growth and knowledge. I will always prefer being solo over settling for someone/something that doesn’t feel right, though. Single by choice for now and loving it. ❤️ (loved this video btw!)

I think all of this gets even harder when the intelligent person has never had the good fortune of personally experiencing a good relationship previously. Then they're much less likely to even feel motivated to pursue one at all, especially as they get older.

I can relate. When I am more sleepy, and when by brain is just too tired to think, my whole concept of love just switches.

This video cleared up insights drastically thank you so much. Felt alone in the tendency to use intellect as a means of understanding intuitive reasoning.

This explains so much about my wife. She is an incredibly intelligent person. She simply decided to love me. I brought into the relationship everything she lacked, vehicle care, lawn maintenance, and grabbing things off high shelves. It has worked for 22 years. Also she says, it is too much work to train a replacement and the kids say she can't fire me.

I think a major point that was overlooked in this video is that since intelligent people don't see the usefulness in pointless socializing, and they fill their lives with what they see as worthy pursuits - regardless of whether anyone else is there with them - they spend a lot of time alone. A majority of their time alone. This drastically reduces the odds of finding a romantic partner.

Highly intelligent people don’t struggle with love, they struggle with finding people that are up to their standards and not just playing games.

Amazing! So relevant and helpful, I'm this intelligent geeky person who analyses every little thing in detail & have been taking so long to just act on my feelings and make a move on the girl I love. I'll do it now ❤ Thanks for boosting my confidence! 💖

I would also add the controlling perspective. Being in a relationship means having an "out of control factor" in life. Intelligent people usually want to have everything under control.

0:48 - 1. They Overthink 1:50 - 2. Love their independence 2:35 - 3. Prioritize their goals 3:12 - 4. Have high standards 3:28 - Pretty strong boundaries. 3:44 - 5. Think with head not guts 4:28 - 6. Single by choice

I agree with all of these but tbh the one thing that made finding a partner so difficult was probably my dad's advice. He told me I had the power to choose whoever I wanted to love, none of that "the heart wants what it wants" or uncontrollable hormones and emotions as he put it and it's been that way ever since. 😅

Between the content of this video and the comment section, I have never felt more seen! Glad I am not alone.

I feel like one key factor you missed is interaction with emotional immaturity. It is really hard for me to connect with someone that does not understand their own emotions or how to communicate without letting their emotions take the better of them. When I communicate with people I expect to be able to discuss my feelings, hear theirs, and then communicate on how to move forward. When it comes to romantic relationships, I have found most get too emotionally invested into a conflict and in doing so never truly figure out a solution to their feelings.

I definitely felt that part about being "whole" from a relationship, as if you're somehow less of a person or complete without one. I feel like a relationship isn't worth it until both people are secure by themselves beforehand, then it's not because you NEED them but because you WANT them around - it's frosting on the cake of life, not the cake itself, so to speak. Dependency is fucked up in a relationship.

You actually solved mystery about me so thanks a lot . Love the content

This sounds too much like me, except for the getting things done part, due to my ADHD. I over-analyse to the point of not committing to anything, because it feels too enormous to tackle. Walked away from many relationships due to this, but I am highly independent and love to be by myself, and I value independence in my partner too. It feels like its a curse, and a blessing in other aspects that is not a relationship.

I am not sure if I would call myself "highly intelligent" but dang did this hit every nail on how I go about relationships.

I was lol'ing at this video so hard. It perfectly describes how my husband and I approached dating! We're both super analytical and independent and never found someone interesting enough to date before meeting each other. The passion for each other followed though, so being thoughtful didn't stop romance. It just put the lovey-doveyness on hold until we both felt we had gathered enough information to determine we would be a good match for each other.

Currently saw a Leebit in the 'Single by choice ' part which I relate a lot, so nice to meet you STAY 💚💙

My GOD why is all of the stuff she said so true I understand and go through all of this dang this is why I’m subbed for this stuff thanks for the insight!!!

An important point that was missed: As the intelligence gap gets wider, it gets increasingly difficult to *meaningfully* communicate and build any kind of rapport. This isn't just for romance, this is for *any* kind of relationship. You can still befriend others around common interests, but you might struggle to build a deeper friendship outside of those common interests.

I would also add. "They are power imbalanced". Being self sufficient and capable makes it very hard to find someone with equal influence. It is easy to feel exploited if you are always giving in a relationship and never need to ask for anything in return.

Wow. This happened to me recently. Me and a girl I've known for years have been really serious about each other, but we're both broken souls who have been hurt too many times, and neither of us can afford another mistake. I wanted to plan everything, to make sure we had a happy future together, to make sure we were both ready, and right for each other, and that our individual traumas and toxic traits wouldn't tear us apart and ruin our lives. I wanted to focus on personal growth, and helping her to heal, while making sure that we were truly right for each other, before making our relationship official... But she took that as me losing interest and not wanting to be with her anymore, so she backed away. I had all the best intentions, but she said we could've just got together and figured out all those details as we went along, like it would've just worked out, but I thought that was too much of a risk, and I was thinking of her happiness as much as my own...

I feel so called out 😅😅😅 especially the being at peace with yourself, leading by logic rather than the gut & the analyze before considering making a move.

I was in a relationship with a highly intelligent person, and this is really relatable. I asked them out and it took them 3 months to finally make up their mind, and throughout the relationship they focused on solving our problems rather than building a deep emotional connection with me. I was extremely insecure and clingy at that time, and they knew what they want which means that they don’t want to be relied on and attached by me. We finally parted ways as they realised that he couldn’t give me what I want and I couldn’t keep up to their standards. It was quite a painful experience, but on the good side we had lots of in-depth conversations of various topics and they had an incredible sense of humour, which gave me lots of good memories. I still regret that I didn’t understand them at that time, but they surely taught me a lesson and it enables me to move on and cherish my current relationship. edit: i didn’t expect any discussion over this comment so it surprised me a bit haha i was a young, insecure person when i was dating them and i didn’t know what i want in my life. all i valued back then was someone who listens to all my problems and gives me the affirmation and attention i wanted. i understand that he wanted to help me but i didn’t back then. i didn’t blame them for wanting to solve the problem and i know this is the practical solution, but i had a huge emotional need which they failed to give (which, by all means, isn’t their fault at all!) also the use of they/them pronouns is just a habit that i developed when i hanged out with a gender neutral friend. i’m not a native english speaker too so please forgive me if i’ve made any grammatical mistakes 🙏

Personally being at least fairly intelligent, my struggle has never really been finding relationships or people I was attracted to, but finding a relationship actually worth anything when I could tell months in advance things were failing and still couldn't do anything about it. In other words, finding the right person feels damn near impossible.

This is an interesting way of looking at this. Thank you for making this content.

This video really makes me feel better. I've never been able to find love because all people do is react to their emotions and then they realize it doesn't work out, so there are violent storms in the couple and they break up bad, and it's just nonsense to me. Like this video said: I need to "analyse" the situation before progressing and it feels right. But NOBODY gets it. If only people could just take a step back from their emotions and have a serious talk before engaging in emotions. If people were like: "oh, you love staying at home all the time? I love to go out all the time. This is either gonna be impossible between us or we will have to be very aware of each others needs. What do we do?" it would prevent so many fights and miscommunication. But no, people just go kiss and figure out this stuff too late and be sad; if you dare think before the emotions, you're labeled as weird, stuck, obsessive, or other stupid names... Thank you for this video, I feel less alone in this world.

It is strange and quite the paradox: highly intelligent people seems to be better prepared to have a healthy relationship. All theses points can be easily trade by "6 reasons why you are in good shape for a healthy relationship". The point is: most people don't take these point to the heart. Sure, "high standards" can be good or bad. Good if you focus on core values, now if you are picky and every detail needs to be exactly as you picture, than it is a problem.

Actually I don't consider myself as a highly intelligent person, but I still can relate to the most of the issues you mentioned in the video. Overthinking takes a huge part in causing troubles in relationships. Last summer I've got a crush on a guy and insted of thinking 'okay, so I've got a crush' I started to analise WHY EXCACTLY I've got a crush and what should I do about it. Now when I think about it, it seems hilarious but also helped me a lot in understanding my emotions. And the part about being afraid of losing independence hits really hard.

I didn't expect that I could relate so much to this video. I'm glad that I'm not the only person who thinks along these lines.

The situation at 1:21 is exactly what happened to me on a first date lol. Sitting on a bank for hours, constantly thinking how to make a move or if I even should most likely made me overlook the signs she gave, I also wasn't really able to listen to her because my thoughts disctracted me too much. I'm so glad I realized this. Now I try to focus more on what the other part does or says and not the voices of insecurity in my head.

I think one of the things biggest things I have found, is much of society seems to WANT the “polite” lies. They want candy coated platitudes, etc.,while I see it as pointless and harmful. It really blew my mind just how off putting people find my honesty. I also don’t just “want” logical responses and clear communication, I NEED it. In a society that prefers facade over substance, straight forward people can find themselves incredibly isolated, by choice but also by a quiet ostracization.

“Should I make a move? Are they just being friendly?” Got me!

Smack, this is me. The feeling out of control element is also a big thing. Adding a relationship to your life and to your checklist of things to invest in puts a huge unknown factor in an individual’s life, and we really hate feeling uncertainty about anything.

Wow this explains how I feel 100% I want to first finish college and get a job before getting into a relationship and also I enjoy my freedom and alone time SO MUCH and I'm scared of losing it. Great video btw!

To me, as the thoughtful, analytical type, the most romantic thing someone could say is not “I need you” or “You complete me” but the accurate, straightforward and honest, “I really want you in my life.”

Reason 1: *Overthinking* Reason 2: Independence Reason 3: Goal Prioritization Reason 4: High Standards Reason 5: Thinking with their heads and not their gut. Reason 6: They’re single by choice

Wow! You literally explained to me the reason why I'm struggling now with this!!!! Tyyyyyy

What a beautifully smooth voice and a beautifully smooth animation to boot 💙

Speaking from personal experience, an important thing that is missing here is that Highly intelligent people are actually also highly sensitive. In the dutch academic world they find more and more causality between the two. Their curiosity and drive to see things through comes from their strong emotions. The curiosity part comes from a positive one and learning new things makes them happy. However because they set such high standards not just for others but also and maybe even especially for themselves, seeing things through and completing their tasks is their attempt to meet the impossible standards they set for themselves. The sad truth is that they will always fail because they could have done things faster and more efficient. They will say things to themselves like: "you finally get it." or "you moron why did it take you so long to learn such a simple thing?".This gives them incredible low self esteem. So having a love relationship with others is indeed difficult for highly intelligent people. But having a love relationship with themselves is sometimes even more challenging.

In my opinion, highly intelligent people usually feel secure physically and emotionally on their own. There is no one around them who’s making their lives complicated. They can make any kind of decision without putting someone’s feelings into consideration. They are already comfortable with who they are, with what they have, and with where they are. They don’t need someone else to make their lives complete. This makes them not really good at socializing, that's why it's hard for them in finding lover.

I can relate to this. I think my turning point was looking at relationships in a statistical point of view from my own reference. The analysis is all fuzzy with standard deviations (predictive and educated guesses with continuous re-evaluations). A useful hypothesis is there are lots of people out there that are suitable for relationships with you based on whatever purpose you are intending to satisfy (there is no law of the 'one'). You don't engage in relationships without a purpose (which can be for just simple things like enjoyment or companionship... or perhaps for family with reproductive success). Different levels of investments as 'acceptable losses' are factors and it's not the same for every purpose (it's not a 'one size fits all'). It's not a 'do this' and you 'get that'. It's a 'do this' and measure what 'that' is and if 'that' includes 'acceptable loss' to achieve your intended purpose (or strays into 'unacceptable losses'). The level of exhaustion a partner introduces is a factor as well (is it sustainable). Generally, a lot of 'high maintenance' is going to be a problem unless it's your own children (not a wife or girlfriend... as you factor in a higher level of maintenance for your kids, not your mate... a good rule of thumb per se). You have to have clearly defined 'healthy boundaries' and be ready to defend them (as you can find yourself revisiting the same struggles with her over 'boundaries'... perhaps initially underestimating the level of exhaustion she introduces and you need to run the numbers again on her). You make estimates and best projections about people you elect to invite into your life... adjust over time... and ensure that relationship stays within an acceptable margin of losses you're willing to take on AND you're still on target for the primary purpose of said relationship. You're not looking for 'perfect'... you're looking for 'acceptable' within parameters and account for expected deviation. That means you have lots of potential mates to consider over your lifetime as that aligns to your purpose at that stage of life. All said, you just ignore people who are up front with 'unacceptable losses' they expect you to accept (that filters through all the trash people in real life possibly complaining on RU-vid or Tiktok looking to 'win the lottery' in dating). Note: another way to avoid exhaustion from ladies well outside of 'acceptable losses' you may be willing to entertain. I will say that I am a 'talker' and I can strike up a conversation with anybody. I sometimes find myself more interested in 'finding that topic' to spur the exchange rather than the topic itself. So I will engage in small talk and wit and perhaps charm to 'break the tension' just to entertain myself and perhaps make a new friend (very friendly... but I don't go down the rabbit hole on deep topics with people not in my inner circle... perhaps analogous to not talking about politics and religion over a family dinner). And I'm a father these days and it's not my 'first rodeo' on this topic... but a fairly dispassionate take on the subject.

I can't believe that I found a video that describes my life perfectly, literally every aspect of the video talks about my life in detail, I thought I'm the only one like this and I was starting to have an existential crisis, thank you for this video, it really means alot

did i just see leebit on the shelf at 4:38...

Do you watch anime? Comment below. Super curious.

I’ve never considered myself to be all to smart, but recently (this month) I’ve been watching a ton of psych2go videos about intelligent people. The vast majority of the videos’ points correlated to my life and lifestyle. Not to mention, but in the past I had very high academic achievements, and when I didn’t, teachers and professors would tell me that I just needed to apply myself, a few even stating that the application and focus would be all it takes for me, thus I feel as though I am at least pretty intelligent. The points of this video specifically apply well, as it was a conversation I’ve had with a lot of people for a couple of years, and why I’m so uninterested in dating. I’m glad for videos like these that I can relate to, because it seems as though most people don’t relate to me, not because I consider myself to be better or even smarter than others, but simply because I have different ideas, goals, preferences, perspectives, and needs. Thank you Psych2Go. Whoever read this (that’s you, reader), You are the GOAT, and I hope you have a great day.

Ngl I could fall asleep to these videos. The voice is just so, SO soothing. I mean this as a compliment btw

Being in a relationship with another highly intelligent person is probably the best thing that's ever happened to me love wise.

Can definitely relate to this on another level. Especially, the part about being single by choice. There are times where you do feel that the presence of someone in your life will make your life better; but in reality you exactly know how you can keep yourself happy.

Quite sad but I completely agree. Also want to say your voice is so soothing and pleasant to hear.

I relate to this video more than most oddly enough. I never though of my methods of processing love and relationships as something "highly intelligent". I wish I could say more about my love life, but it's more practical than anything worth mentioning. I struggle because of the reasons in this video to a T, but at least I am not alone in this. Honestly it's a little bittersweet hearing it because at the end of the day I will always love myself. But not knowing the unknown, and what my future holds, makes it harder to hope to find love if love is uncertain and always comes and goes for me.

4:31 Leebit from SKZOO! I mean, that rabbit on the left shelf, I sure wasn't expecting that one 🤣 I love your references Concerning the video, the funny thing is that I usually can't relate to videos like "5 signs you're a highly intelligent person" that much, but this video specifically makes me truly highly intelligent 😂

Perfectly describes my gf. At times it was hard to understand her. I’m more clingy and needy type, so I felt hurt on many occasions. But she always assured her love for me while she puts her dreams on priority. I decided to just be supportive and giving her everything I can because I love her so much.

I relate to a lot of these things. It takes me an extremely long time to make the first move, because I‘m constantly analyzing their behavior and if just one thing speaks against them having feelings for me, I won‘t do anything.

Thank you for describing me so clearly!

Frankly, I'm not even sure I would be able to handle a relationship right now. I'm going through college, I'm introverted and shut-in because of my own self-loathing, and I just feel empty for most of the time. I don't want someone to have to have that experience in their life and I don't want to burden myself with that when I am currently in no mental condition to maintain something like that along with despising myself. Really, though, I'm lonely and feel detached from society, and I can't seem to make friends because of my inability to have clear, concise communication skills with others which is amplified from my ASD. If anyone reads this, I appreciate your time.

I consider myself as an overthinking person. Many times I have a hard time sleeping because I stay up all night thinking about every single action that may affect me or my relationships. In my opinion, you nailed it. I also relate a lot to having high standards, it's really hard to find someone that can make me want to be with them all the time. Amazing video!

Bro this hole video basically discribes my personality and the way how I think

I needed this video so much ☺️🤝

As an overthinker and overanalyzer I found out the best strategy is to reject the typical flow of love (meeting someone and then get to know) and go straight for just have friends. Then feelings can come from a person you already know, accept and like to hang out with.

Took me until 24 for my first serious relationship. Now two years and going strong! There was another comment here that actually lists point 7 really well: they don't meet many people in casual social settings, since they see less value in them - therefore less potential partners. My problem was also point 1, but my gf was tenacious enough to overcome me 🤩

Finally!! I can express with words what I was complaining with!! THANK YOU

i wouldnt consider myself highly intelligent but i do think about a lot of things and why i think about them in a certain way and i just want to say this video was pretty spot on with a lot of things. i keep thinking about the "high" standards part and the overthinking/being in control(almost) part

I’m especially guilty of overthinking every social situation I’ve ever been in. Being a perfectionist too, I always nitpick every detail and every word spoken and I always find something to worry about because I always think I mess up in every conversation I have

I’m an INFJ and yet I relate so much to this, along with past experiences. Love doesn’t really sound great, especially when everyone in this world seems to hurt rather then love others

Ok all the points summarize how I am; well yes I am as you said in one of the points- single by choice. Even though many of my age are dating but I feel after sometime (as I reach one of my goals in life) I will be stable enough in all aspects especially mentally to handle someone who will be demanding continuous attention, thanks for this video❤

I wonder how many other people were thinking about what was being said and then had a thought that was instantly repeated in the video. 😂

#1 is the biggest problem for me. I always get stuck in my head and overthink things. It really messed up a lot of potential relationships. And I'm not posting this to try to make myself seem highly intelligent lol I can just really relate to that one

"Struggling" to find love implies actually looking for romance and feeling like one's life isn't complete without it. A lot of people (myself included) simply don't prioritize having a romantic relationship. It's sort of like "if it happens, I'll give it a chance but I don't feel the need to be working towards it."

I definitely relate to some of this stuff. I will say, I often feel I don't overthink about "why do I feel this way", I more overthink "does she feel the same way". And that's worse for me because that's hard to gauge, especially when I'm always overthinking.

Points 2 and 6 resonates the most with me

I felt so described here and I like that some people will watch this and understand why we just don’t jump into relationships like kids jumping from puddle to puddle

Don't forget that the people we are interested in usually get "taken" by someone more forward/bold than us because the fear of the consequences of rejection and ruining a good relationship (friendship wise) can also cause MASSIVE anxiety

It’s annoying that I had pretty much found all of these out by just thinking about why I suck at dating

these all sound like me except #5. I definitely need my intuition to be aligned with my head ("Wise Mind"). When it's not, I either feel abundant anxiety, or indifference. That's a sign in itself

My problem is as many have described here - I have a litany of expectations. I want my partner to be emotionally mature (understand their feelings). I want my partner to be straightforward with their goals (don't "beat around the bush"). I want a relationship that has clear intent. Let's not vaguely talk about the purpose of why we like each other and our future. Let's push forward as a unified front and make each other more alive and productive. That, to me, is a good relationship :)

People lie and think we don't understand it. This is my biggest issue, honesty is rare

this video completely describes me. I've learned programming, and turned it into a job, rather than finding love, and now when I've got a job, I've been more interested in at least trying to find the one to fit into my life, not the one that can complete anything, because my life feels complete. I do have high standards too, but I've experienced being intetested in girls that doesn't match my standards, but guess what? they're completely gone from my life

I’m intelligent, but not naturally. I’ve had to work (as am still working) on my maths and physics as I want to get into aerospace and to get into a good job (as aerospace is my passion). I’d much rather try and achieve this that find a partner. This video nailed everything about me, from the overthinking, to the thinking hard before making a move on anything, and analysis for everything in great detail.

"They have the luxury of already having a good time on their own" That is such a good summary of my personality and unfortunate biggest social struggle. So many people don't get that I'm super happy on my own, but also me myself I often think "I'd honestly rather do this alone" when I'm thinking about doing an activity

Point 2 is actually a really healthy relationship characteristic in general. I believe that it’s really important to be able to be independent and not ‘need’ your partner in an unhealthy way. It is important to be able to depend on your partner and receive love and support from them, we all need love and support, but it’s also important to be able to be happy and enjoy life when you’re not with them. I think it’s important to be able to have separateness, as well as intimacy. I think they should add to your world and bring joy and delight to it, not define it and become someone you can’t live without. It’s about being free to be ourselves and having the space to do things on our own, and support each other in the process. Having friends and other people to spend time with and be supported by is also really healthy. This is me speaking from what I’ve seen and learnt from very healthy and happy relationships, but every relationship is different. As long as both are happy in the relationship and can be who they are, that is what matters. Great video 😃

That “finishing other tasks” and not feeling like I need a partner, and overthinking felt so close to home. I want love but I want someone I can live with like a friend.

Number 1... is the biggest problem of all. Seeing that they can actually create more and more scenarios that can be both good or bad.

Little bit of Aromantic rep on that last bit? Lovely 😊

god some of these are so relatable lol my friend is always telling me something along the lines of _”most people don’t think like that”_ or _”you don’t get it, you’re not like most people”_ (not in a mean way just to be clear), and it’s usually bcs i try to bring a different pov or a solution that counters her own (over)thinking when it comes to her love life 😭 i just feel like most people tend to overcomplicate things??? tho i’m a very rational person, i don’t really try to rationalize “feelings”? i might question “bad” ones so i can find ways to feel better, but that’s about it. if i like someone, i’ll usually go with the flow… and just accept it? the thing is that i rarely like someone lmao and i’m ok with that. i like being alone, just doing my thing, so i don’t really notice it’s been that long since the last time i had a crush or really liked someone

The “setting high standards” really rang true with me as well as loving my independence and overthinking. I’ve only ever had one semi-serious relationship and even that one fizzled out in about 6 weeks (geography was a big factor). Now that I’m older, I feel as if I’ve missed out on one of the fundamental experiences of life but I certainly don’t foresee at this ripe old age finding the love of my life. That ship has definitely sailed.