63% Of Men Under 30 Are Single 

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-Women are dating older men. -Women are dating other women. -Many women are prioritizing career over relationships. -Many women have insanely high standards where they only want the top 10%. -Many men are addicted to p0rn and video games to the point they don't even approach or try. -Many men have approach anxiety and zero self esteem to try. -Chads are dating multiple women at once. -Many men have simply given up and stopped trying.

A lot of men watch porn as a CONSEQUENCE of being single not a replacement for women. A lot of us, myself included just gave up on dating entirely.

I love how every time these stats are brought up, they always makes it sounds like it’s mens fault. They make it seem like we just choose to stay home and whack off.

Being a man in the dating world is like finding a job that requires years of experience when you are just starting out.

Being rejected and ignored by women growing up, means we never learn how to date when we get a chance. So we come off as being undateable. The older we get the harder it is to learn how to play the game.

Hey Courtney, my wife cheated with many guys and left me and the kids. I have my own business, educated, very fit, and since the separation, my job has taken secondary priority and I am constantly outdoors camping / activities with the kids and I put in a lot of time to raise them with very little screen time. I dress well, outgoing and maintain great relationships, and despite all of these things, getting dates is nearly impossible. When women hear that I have kids, they instantly shut down all efforts. Im just taking the time to enjoy life and raise my kids properly.

38, single, thin, 6'1, house/car are paid off, have a nest egg & plan to retire early. the majority of women that show me any interest are either divorced, already have kids or are overweight/obese. i'd rather stay single, thanks.

Father of three boys here, ages 22, 14, 12. I’m lucky enough to have all the time in the world to research and inform my young men. I’m up on it all, and I can hardly tolerate what they’re facing. It’s a very very consuming exercise to steer these young men well in the modern muck. I’m sure it has always been burdensome, but raising young men is a special kind of difficult now. That’s the high level from an informed Dad perspective, Courtney.

We did it boys. We went our own way.

The ugly truth is that many women would rather share a man than settle for someone on level with their own market value.

Over the span of a year i approached around 80-90 women at bars, the store, the beach, restaurants, and i got rejected by all of them. I got 4 numbers and got ghosted by all of them. There’s no point in pursuing something that doesn’t want to be pursued lol.

Even if you manage to get a girl, she secretly has a boyfriend. It’s so sad to see how normalized cheating is too.

This is by far the biggest problem of our generation that gets zero attention. Young men are just checking out of society and doing the minimum to get by, and young women are somehow getting unhappier every generation despite all of their advancements and achievements. The more research I do about this subject, the more I side with the importance of biological differences and gender roles.

This is one of the first times I’ve heard a woman sound truly empathetic towards mens issues, this is remarkable.

Date, get a girl pregnant, have half your life stolen in court, get falsely accused of being abusive, have no power to stop any of it. Thats where dating leads, men have caught on

EX broke up with me after 5-6 years because she wanted to be polyamorous. For a year after that, I was living alone with our 2 children (3 and 5 YO) and was struggling hard. Its been a little more than a year, and im still scarred from it, asking myself "why I wasnt enough" and "How could I let this happen" When I dont even know if I was fully to blame. Right now Im trying to pick up the pieces, and find someone new, but this dating landscape just leaves me feeling more useless than ever, when I can go months on end without even a single match. I just want one chance to prove to someone I can be loving to them.

Women have raised their standards to a point where few men under 30 can achieve, which is why only 37% of women under 30 are single. Women in their 20s will date men in their 30s

"Women are dating the same men" - that is all you need to grab from this video to understand the issue.

I was married to a woman with 2 children from a previous marriage. I adored them. I loved being married. She was extremely physically abusive and wouldn’t get help. So I left for good. She then went online, after my employer, my friends and family and told them I was abusive. A complete lie. The entire reason she felt comfortable beating me repeatedly is because I’d never strike back at a woman and she knew it. Her lies caused bigger problems than they should’ve. I can’t imagine ever even dating again after this experience. I miss my step kids but not being in a relationship. At all. I didn’t realize how much I had given up until I got it back. I’m enjoying taking care of me for a change. For years I took care of a woman 24/7, in every conceivable way all of the time. I got hell in return. Fool me once…

Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it

I’m an average 5ft 9in man with a 9-5 warehouse job who lives a quiet life. I don’t go out to parties, don’t go clubbing, don’t go to movies, don’t eat out, etc. These things combined means I am unattractive to almost every modern woman out there. 🤷

I’m a 23 year old guy. I’ve honestly just stopped caring. I’ve tried tinder and all these apps and it’s never gone anywhere. I have a lot of guy friends and the vast majority of them are also single. Here’s the thing though: you gotta find happiness in your life. So many people (including my friends) get hung up on the mindset of “oh if only I was in a relationship my life would be so much better” when that’s not really the case. I personally don’t let it bother me. I stay positive and live my life to it’s fullest and hey, if I meet someone someday, that’s just a bonus 😎

The other thing is that men do not want to deal with the government stains In marriages. Like child support , family courts, losing half of your income, losing your business, losing your kids, losing your assets and house. Younger men see all that happen to their friends and fathers and it’s really stressful to deal with. It’s a big risk with little reward, and men don’t want to deal with that anymore.

My point of view among the many: 1. The last 2 times I approached a woman at work, I got into trouble with HR 2. The leaders at my church made it clear to not approach women. 3. Men who make a decent living but are not a gigachad tend to be absolutely invisible. Why should I bother dating when this is how it works?

Something I think is a huge contributor as well is that men are now being told to *leave* *women* *alone* Don't approach. Don't even look. Not even accidentally. The rise of men being called out on camera for even glancing sends a powerful message.

As a man, I have felt entirely disposable my whole life by women when it comes to dating. If I do not constantly appeal to women, if I do not constantly reaffirm that I was the right choice, then I am tossed aside like a used tissue for someone who will continue this process of constantly appealing and pleasing women. Dating has felt like a job application with little to no reciprocity. I am 31 years old and still single. Dating today is pretty awful but it generally always has been for me.

My opinion is that life itself has changed enormously in the last 10 or so years. The amount of information you have to deal with on a daily basis is absurd. An endless stream of e-mails, telephone calls, meetings, social media and so on. This takes a lot of my energy away. During my spare time I like to recharge by doing fun stuff with my friends, working out and enjoying my hobbies. The little amount of time left is so valuable to me that I would never consider sharing this.

I'm not a younger man. I just turned 46. The numbers aren't remarkably better for us middle aged guys either, at least not in my social circle. Of me and my six closest guy friends, 3 out of 7 of us are perpetual bachelors, so 42% singles. There's an anecdote for ya.

24 year old here from the UK My problem is, most girls my age DONT turn up to dates WE organised. It's extremely rude and shows no self responsibility. Often times I don't even get a reason or any apology. It hurts, and I'm slowly giving up on dating

I'll share my point of view: It's not just romantic relationships that are on decline and have been for the past few years; its relationships in general. Like friendships or family relationships. There is a lot of studies that confirm that... The decline of human relationships has corresponded with the rise of social media. People have started seeing each others as easily replaceable and have just recently starting realising how damaging such mindset actually is.

My grandparents were married till my grandfather passed away at 88. They could not stand each other and my grandmother yelled at him constantly. Rarely a moment of peace when we were around them. Don't even get me started on my extended family's dysfunctional marriages. That is the alternate to being single.

Honestly, got cheated on way too many times. Women are tipically not trustworthy nowadays. Gave up on em

No woman on Earth will EVER experience true, utter, and complete loneliness, hopelessness, and invisibility and the subsequent apathy that come along with it. There will ALWAYS be someone to give them attention. True loneliness (i.e, no DMs, no test messages, no phone calls, no dates, no friends, no one calling to see if you're even breathing) is a uniquely male experience and always will be.

Men's struggles are invisible. We can't even speak of our struggles. We are quickly told to shut up, that women are oppressed, we are the cause and we have no right to complain. We are invisible. We are tired.

Really appreciate your channel and style of presentation!! Very few content creators are trying to understand and bridge the gap between the sexes instead of leaning into toxic advice and encouraging games. Whether it's tiktok queens or red pill alphas spewing their sociopathies, hearing a balanced take focused on both genders being their best selves and meeting each other halfway is super refreshing, especially in these days. We all need to heal and be better because life itself is traumatic anymore, so thank you for putting your energy and thoughts into the world. Men AND women need to hear more of this kind of advice.

Hey young guys. Tables turn as you get older… I’m 59. Stay in shape, work on yourself and your mission. So much fun to show up at social events with my old friends… with a date 20 years younger…

63%. I’m one of them. I don’t even try to look for a date.

63%. Can't wait to see what it is in another 5 years or so. Stay strong gentlemen. Being single is the best option for men today. For those that risk it, we'll be here after you've been emotionally, mentally and financially wrecked.

I'm 25 and I'm going to stay single forever. The more money I make the more I want to be single.

For me, I've given up dating entirely. I only interact out of necessity. I decided to put all my focus on racing. I'd rather watch a NASCAR race than go on a date. I'd rather be behind the wheel of a race car testing/qualifying/racing than in bed with a woman. Racing is where I feel the happiest and fulfilled. I'm not giving that up. At least in racing, your achievements actually mean something. You actually get rewarded for your efforts and hard work.

It’s rare to see a woman actually acknowledge that women share men. It is a huge problem that everybody pretends doesn’t exist. Thank you

Just goes to show that it’s 100 times easier for women to get sex, dates relationships with practically no effort than it is for men to get dates with all the correct effort ..

They keep blaming every BUT the real reason men have checked out of the dating market. Because it CANNOT be becasue of women.

I agree with a lot of what she says. So my story is I was a virgin til 27. I am good looking and play sports and in great shape. Most people say I’m like 8-8.5 so it’s not a looks thing. I get it when men say they feel invisible. Even with my good looks I don’t get that much attention. I think another problem is guys assume most girls in social places are already in a relationship or have guys they can call. Like you said most guys are afraid to approach girls because a lot of women are unapproachable and the rest get hit with the stigma because of the other girls. You hit the head on the nail when you said most girls don’t know how guys feel and have to empathy for hard it is for them. I have still not been in a relationship or anything with a girl since my girlfriend and have had a few dates and many conversations that lead nowhere. Most of matches or likes on dating apps are with girls I don’t find attractive or are ugly. The reason guys turn to porn is because they are so sex starved and hopeless it’s the only thing they can do. I don’t want to give up but I see why guys are. It feels hopeless I can’t imagine guys that don’t have it as good as I do. I have a high sex drive so it is painful. I want a girlfriend or significant other but I also need sex so what are we to do bedsides use porn, go to strip clubs or hire a hooker. It’s just a pain in the ass. I put effort in and am not trying to be a player or fuckboy and I get nothing and barely any dates at all. Women don’t know truly how good they have it. They just all choose the same super handsome wealthy or famous guys but don’t realize that’s 1% of guys and most women will not keep them. It’s a problem for both sexes but women need to help men out a little. Communicate better and be more empathetic to the male situation. Most guys aren’t bad or players but the stereotype is killing good men just like the every women is a how stereotype hurts good women.

Porn is a symptom not a cause. Men wouldn't watch porn if getting dates or even any kind of female attention was possible. The main cause is simply that average women are not interested in average men.

I frequently hear people cite porn as a cause of men's isolation. The reality is that porn is not a cause, it's a symptom. Treat the cause and the symptom will go away.

I discovered you recently on RU-vid, and I am very impressed. Thanks for the level-headed and insightful talks and good advice.

Most of my personal experiences tend to defy these trends. Most of my closest female friendships are with women who are either socially conservative or have extremely low self-esteem; this means they prioritize long-term relationships, tend to latch unto the first man willing to commit, and stay with him despite feeling unhappy, being dissatisfied or having compatibility issues. They quickly view them as family and stick with them the same way one might tolerate a toxic parent/cousin/etc. However, this year I tried to venture out of my little bubble to try and meet new people; it was a culture shock that left me feeling very disheartened. I struggle to relate to my peers and I don't like that; however, I also don't want to engage with their practices either. I'm blessed to have very close friendships but anything beyond that is a world beyond the limits of my patience. I identify as very socially progressive but I also identify with the struggles of modern men; this disconnect is very isolating and it's hard to connect with others. Socially progressive circles tend to avoid these conversations, so despite my values aligning with theirs, I just can't connect with them.

While it hurts to hear that, I don't blame a lot of young men for being single whether it's by choice or not. It's harder than ever before for young men especially to find a woman to be in a relationship with because of social media, unrealistic expectations, and even just how much men are being told that women are the problem. Why try to date when you could spend time doing other things with your life whether they're harmful or beneficial? It's looking really bleak moving forward.

Courtney Ryan, I've been single 20 plus years. I'm 57. Just for perspective, I make 100k a year, Have toys (Boat , Bikes etc.) I am completely happy. I do get a lot of pushback on dating from coworkers about this, they say its not natural. Here is all I have to say as it happened to me. ONCE MEN ARE COMFORTABLE BEING SINGLE, ITS GOING TO BE NEXT TO IMPOSSABLE TO GET THEM BACK ON THE DATING SEEN.

I’m forced to give up on dating entirely. I’m currently 32 years old. And I asked out 20K plus women over the past 22 years. I got rejected every single time. Time to give up.

Courtney I love your content because you provide actionable steps to improve one’s dating life. I agree with this whole video. I’m currently 29, a regular looking guy looking for the right woman who I’m genuinely attracted to and in my religion. It’s been very hard and the mental strain it takes saying if my muscles were bigger, if I was taller, if I was in a leadership role, making more money etc would help but in reality women’s expectations and lack of commitment are leading us men to move away from our authentic selves to fulfill one of the most basic human needs. Solution would be for people to detox off social media and get involved which is what I’m doing.

Honestly i think the big thing most people skip on this topic is just how bad the situation is from an average guy's POV. Im improving myself not so that high quality women will date me, I'm working out, eating right, avoiding porn, avoiding sugar and alcohol working on my career, working on my mental health and maintaining good friendships in the hopes that one day i'll be worth TALKING to. The bar to get an average girls attention is so high that it requires years of consistent dieting an exercise before you can do anything that will matter, and those years of hard work are spent alone. I like you channel Courtney, and i respect the work that goes into your videos. But I'm still a couple years away from being able to apply most of your advice, because most of your advice assumes that women are willing to have a conversation or date you to begin with. The truth of the matter is that for most of us, that isn't the case. Even meeting people in real life doesn't eliminate the fact we are directly competing with dating apps. When you take into account how long and hard just the average man has to work on himself to be noticed it kind of brings the suicide statistics into sharp focus. Not everyone on my path will come out the other side.

I’m so proud of men right now. I didn’t figure out how much better it is to be single until I was almost 40. You really can’t beat the freedom and disposable income being single.

I like the research you do. I like that your content are usually data-driven. You're awesome.

I was blown away by those stats. I'd like to see more on this. It's tough when you've just lost your only parent, and have the rest of your extended family isolate. It's tough when during that time you get betrayed in a 2.5 year connection. And now.. I sit here single at 29.. feeling this exact way with the info mentioned in the video. Like what am I supposed to do you know? On the other hand, I don't fear commitment whatsoever. I'm more than willing to put in effort and work for a relationship. It's funny how it operates. I definitely feel emotionally crippled.. but i aim everyday to help others through my field. The whole cherishing, nurturing aspect of relationships makes perfect sense to me. However it seems today's hookup culture would disagree. I'm aiming more to get out there despite being more introverted.. guess all you can do is keep going.

I gave up years ago. The stress and anxiety involved in worrying about intentional dating is such a downer on my life that I would rather just remain single. I am an absolute homebody. Always have been. When I do go out to enjoy my hobbies in a social setting, they are massively male dominated. Just a sausage fest. I have no idea where women congregate, and even if I did, what’s my excuse to start a conversation going to be? It just feels like the stars have to align, which makes it a stressful endeavor.

Sounds like a lot of the women that think they are in relationships are wrong.

What legitimate reasons are there for men to stop watching porn when statistically speaking every woman is in a relationship already, and going outside proves this? Plenty of men are still approaching women. They are not getting women. They are getting that same statistic repeated back to them.

The problem is that both womens and men's standard have increased too much over the last decade, while a lack of social connections has also declined, meaning that the partner now has to be, a best friend, meet all sexual needs, therapist, and care giver and works a job that meets the other partners standards. This is compounded by social media saying that there is always someone else for you and your perfect the way you are. Being with someone who genuinely just cares about you should be enough, and if issues occur in a relationship then they should be worked on

I’m good with dying alone. I accepted it lol

I'm in a 12 year old marriage but one massive contributor to dating, maintaining a long lasting relationship is the lack of feeling appreciated. I feel like most men are treated as an item/problem solver and once the needs are fulfilled we are dismissed to the side until the next requirement comes along. After a while it grows old and we get tired of the mental abuse.

Honestly being alone is pretty awesome. Once I stopped dating I've accumulated a substantial amount of income, enough to move myself into a much more comfortable apartment and buy myself a decent car. I fixed my teeth and work-out myself into a best shape of my life, I feel great, have way more stamina and boosted my immune system. I haven't been sick or depressed once since I stopped dating and on top of that all I have way more free time right now to spend on things I enjoy doing. I might try dating again sometime, but right now I really enjoy this part of my life and not willing to change anything.

I love how you say everything without hesitation These are things we need to hear

Happily single at 45. I've been trying for 25 years now to have a lasting relationship, but I've given up. I'm not putting anymore energy into anything that doesn't yield positive results. If it happens it happens. Also, that colour green looks great on you Courtney!

For me, a huge issue is "Where do I meet good women in real life?" Off dating apps, off social media? Especially as someone who doesn't go to clubs or parties, and isn't interested in the kind of woman that does. Post-college, there just aren't a lot of opportunities that aren't cold approaches. And from female friends and acquaintances I've talked to, single men are viewed with immediate wariness by women, and you should never approach a woman unless you know she wants it, which you don't know until after you approach. "Don't approach women you don't know," but there are precious few venues to actually meet new women.

Nowadays, when someone asks “why are you still single” you say “Because I’m not giga chad”

My biggest issue is I cannot get a single date. I'm nearly 30 and I regularly meet women and they only ever seem to want to be friends. I've had many close friendships with a bunch of wonderful women, but it only stops there, as friends. I've felt that now that I'm at the age I am, and since I have been unable to attract a single woman in my life, I'm practically cursed and I have no idea what to do with myself. Most of my female and male friends actually don't believe me that I've never dated either. It's all so confusing.

In my experience as a 29 year old man... It's gotten to the point where it feels like you need to be an extraordinary man to get a woman to care. It seems like as a man I get more intimacy and interest from women that are in relationships. At least here in Seattle that's how it is. And when a woman is single how a days and expressing interest, it's always very subtle, rife with game playing and mixed signals and there's always an underlying feeling that you're competing with a bunch of other men (which is always the case but it shines through in their lack of complete interest and communication with you/I). Like you said, going out and putting yourself in new scenarios and spaces, especially activities involving people will always help expand options... But even with putting in that work, it's still VERY hard to date and find someone worth committing to. It almost feels like the more you treat women badly and like one of many, the more attention you get.

As a 19 year old I feel this, i’m a virgin and have never had a girlfriend and not necessarily for lack of trying. I know a lot of dudes in my position and i’m saddened and also comforted that their are dudes also experiencing this. My 20’s are gonna be hell

Personally the thought of being a womens last option after running through her bang list is terrifying. I want to be with someone who shares a similar sentiment. No women who has does that is gonna be upfront about it.

I've been single and sexless for 4 years now, its not unbearable but does suck sometimes. I'm at the point where my angry and bitterness are just replaced with the feeling of numbness, when I see women around me in public, a second glance is not given from me. I do suffer from porn addiction, i used to be a gym rat but suffered some injuries at work so I gained 50lbs due to pain issues. I've been cheated on, ghosted, or even attacked and builled by women I don't even know since I was a child so unfortunately, I can't help but feel like a bad experience and women are inseparable from eachother. Its sad that this is becoming more common, and my situation is not the exception but becoming the norm. Hopefully none of you reading this ends up like me, just do your best and dont let despair take away your desire for companionship.

I've never chased after status or money and have always lived within my means. I knew that would be unattractive to women and made conscious effort to be okay with that. I moved on from women and have been single for at least 17 years. Now that the women my age are older, I am becoming more attractive to them. I've been asked out more in the last year than I have in my entire life. The problem is I have completely lost interest in women. The longer you remain single, the less appealing relationships become, your libido evaporates and then you simply begin to care about other things that don't involve women. I don't dislike women. I don't hate them. I'm just indifferent.

It's a good thing women's dating standards 65 years ago were not the same as they are today or I would not have been born. My dad was no Chad, just a 5'8" guy who worked hard in a blue collar, lower middle class job, worked a side job, but supported his family on his income alone. My parents have been married for 63 years and counting. I'm 62 years old. After my 2nd wife died in 2004 (plus two years for grieving), I tried dating again. I dated here and there, but mostly I was ignored or rejected by women. Finally I dated a woman for 3 years and thought we would get married, but out of the blue she decided she just wanted to be friends. That was in 2013, and I haven't gone on a date since. I'm not bitter towards women, just realistic that I'm not a Chad and I'd rather be alone than constantly bang my head against a wall. I hear and read women asking where all the good men have gone? I say there are plenty of good men out there, but they have to look at more than just Chad's.

Trying to be the best version of myself is kinda a total loophole for me, I am 30 and I am an artist, an engineer, I can play a guitar, I am reading books, taking walks, can repair everything at home, can cook, can bake but this got me to the point when I expect at least half of this stuff from the woman I look for and when woman is pretty then she is so praised by society that she doesn't demand anything from herself because she has all things granted. I feel being the best version of myself is leading me to being a single forever now.

I am single and i love it, i've been in relationships and all they do is make me feel depressed. No children, no wife is a happy and stress free life.

1 male experience coming up. Im 26, last time i dated and only time was when i was 20 until i was 21, about 4 months, she was the only girl who didnt outright reject me that ive ever met and asked out. I wanted a normal relationship or at least what i thought was normal but she wanted an open relationship but led me on for 4 month saying she wanted a closed relationship and i made the mistake of diving head first. Short story shorter, she ghosted me on my bday. I dont blame her, i ignored a LOT of red flags. Havent had a chance since, but tbf i dont use and never have used a dating app as i have little to no confidence in my appearance and thats all that matters on those (and my much more attractive friends who do have had nothing but hookups). I've had lots of female friends that were some of the closest friends i've had but they always seem to end up hating me and making all my other female friends stop talking to me. I assume it was because they thought all i wanted to do was sleep with them but tbh im a virgin and the idea of ever doing that scares the snot out of me at this point, but thats more recent. I also never make enough to even look at dating as an option. My friends are planning to introduce a girl to another friend tonight at the bar and some of the more charismatic guys have been asked to not come so they dont interfere on accident, but im fine because they dont consider me a potential threat to that, not that i would but being thought of as so insignificant really puts a turd in my corn flakes.

Guys I've been married 34 years. I am 56 we married around 25 and built a life together. Unless you find someone you love and loves you stay single. I am with you on this I will be telling my grandsons to do the same. Make sure you do not create any kids with them either. I believe our society is coming to an end. With out our seed it dies.

From a men’s perspective, dating apps are a pain in the ass. While some dating apps are free for women, they are expensive as hell for men to use. Paying does not guarantee matches because men also have to navigate through the fake accounts intended to get men to pay even more. It’s quite sad, actually.

I find it interesting that the transactional nature or porn and pay sites is a one way problem. Meanwhile 67% of women are being shared by 15% of men. And are literally for sale.

That is a lot of information to take in. I may have to watch this video again. Sending virtual hugs.

32 and single here. The peace is overwhelming.

"You no longer get to experience the entirety of another human" isn't that bad when that entirety includes getting everything you've worked for taken from you, and the heart you've handed to her on a silver platter gets stomped on.

Honestly It's been difficult for me to just get lucky with a girl. I'm 26 years old and I've never been in a committed relationship. And even if a few girls come my way from time to time... They ALWAYS give me the cold shoulder once it feels like we both were getting along, and it just makes me feel EVEN MORE isolated. Only thing I can control in my life is like you said; focus on my career, my fitness, my mental state etc. Guys like me fully understand that when a women pushes us away... We listen and receive the message very clearly now. And we just don't try anymore.

I’ve personally been on dating apps for 3 years but either because I’m a very average looking person or because my profile isn’t exciting enough, I’ve had little success. But whenever I would do a fun group activity (rock climbing or joining a club in college) I actually went on dates with women cause we already shared a common interest and they got to get know my personality

I'm a 23 year old Midwestern American and I've never had a girlfriend. I'm a nerd I guess. When I was in high school I thought women were dangerous and crazy because, well, high school girls are generally dangerous and crazy. Once I got out of high school I focused on my career as an electrician and figuring out this Real Life thing, and it paid off because I managed to get a mortgage at 22. I'm now beginning to look at the world of dating and wondering if I dodged a bullet, because the first matter I saw was the levelling up thing, where modern women are apparently looking at the man they've currently got and deciding that they can do better, sometimes even if they've already gotten married. Every day I see more and more depressing stuff on my youtube feed and it makes me think that I'm probably not smart enough to tell when I'm talking to a crazy woman who will leave me the second she smells a fatter wallet than mine. My little brother has been dating in middle school and high school, and it has not been good for him. I'm not exactly certain what that first girl did to him but she was removed from the state after he attempted suicide the second time. The next generation of women, who I expect I will be dating in a few years when they are 18-20, do not make me optimistic. I've heard about passport bros, who are a group of men that gave up on American women and decided to go to another country to find a wife and live there for the rest of their lives. I sometimes think that if I don't manage to navigate the dating world in America by the time I've paid off my house, I may end up joining them. I think that finding a good wife I want to spend the rest of my life with and raising the next generation well is a good life goal for me. Even if my children won't be American. Well, I've still got a long time before I reach that point, and I expect my worldview will change a few times before then. I've always said that the most important thing is to prepare myself for the man who will wake up tomorrow. If I pave the road for him, he can have an easier time with his own plans. When I finish typing this, I'll go to mow my lawn because that's what a responsible adult does.

I'll be legit with you, Courtney. I'm in no rush to get into a relationship. Trust me, I know their are some really good women out there, but the dirty overlays the diamonds. I want to get myself in a good position financially, mentally, physically , and so on. Maybe I'll get back to dating once I am all good, but no promises. Overall, thanks for fighting the good fight, sista solider. You really are making a difference.

I'm about to turn 40 years old this year, I have been falsely accused by women, I have been called weird creepy and boring by women, just yesterday I had a long argument with a woman who called myself and other blue collar men predators, users, and abusers and I took that personal because I know I am none of those things and I know good men who are none of those things. It is unfortunate that there are a lot of women, not all, a lot of women who would paint us in such a negative light that men like myself have given up and just decided to leave women alone. Almost 40 years on this planet and I don't have any children, never been married, and I constantly see videos of women telling me and guys like me how much they pretty much hate me and want my life to be over. Unfortunately nowadays, being a good man just isn't enough, valued, or appreciated!

I don’t think these men are electing to be single. It’s just getting harder and harder to find women that are interested in that age bracket. As a guy I have noticed dating in my 30’s has been far more successful than any dates I went on in my 20’s. If I was in my 20’s right now- just focus on development and growth. Develop yourself into a high value man. Don’t date in your 20’s .. just grind and get that high paying job, the home, the car etc... Trust me.

Let’s get those numbers up to 100% boys. Don’t let me down.

My biggest problems: No time, Not enough money. I think you said it all when you said most single women are chasing the same few men. I live in a very wealthy area with a high cost of living. I have to work 7 days a week just to afford an apartment. The men women want can afford fancy restaurants and expensive vacations. I can't even afford a dentist. Without good looks and/or money, finding a relationship that I would be happy in is a lost cause.

I'll chime in from a male POV. I'm of the generation that came of age right before the rise of social media - high school class of 2000 - so all my formative experiences of asking out the girls in school I had crushes on with butterflies in my stomach, learning to cope with rejection and the whole gamut of wrapping my mind around the [birds and the bees] took place in a world before smart phones, before dating apps, before youtube, Facebook or any of these addictive digital drugs existed. I had tremendous anxiety and confusion about dating back then, but gosh, if I could open a spacetime portal and have a conversation with my former self 20 years ago, I'd smack 21-year-old me in the face and say, “Dude, listen closely. You need to stop whining, get over your bull@#$% insecurities right the %&@$ now and pour your heart out to so-and-so today, make your mistakes, learn, get your love-life in order before the future comes, because the dating scene of the future is a horror-show, and that future is speeding toward us like a freight train. If you think it's intimidating to approach the lady who sparks your eye on the other end of the room, imagine trying to navigate that in a future where everyone's looking down at this magic device in their hands like zombies everywhere you go, only looking up to take a picture of themselves to broadcast to people whom they won't see in person any time soon so they can predicate their self-esteem on some superficial stat of how many people clicked a digital heart icon responding to that image with instant gratification, where a common livelihood is making videos alone in one's bedroom and selling them to strangers abroad whose surplus of disposable income is surpassed only by their thirst for an illusion of companionship to numb their spiritual emptiness. If you think flirting with women is scary and confusing in 2003, JUST YOU WAIT.” I can't begin to articulate how lucky I was to come up in the analog age, how angry at myself I am for not making it a more urgent priority to conquer my dating roadblocks back in that golden age, and how profoundly lost, frustrated and confused I feel trying to connect in this toxic culture. HELP!!!!!!!

every one of your suggestions is excellent. the only suggestion i would add is "embrace and appreciate the friendzone, it's a wonderful place and not a failure". although i truly believe that we should follow your excellent advice, this can only go as far as to improving unhappy single men to the point that they become happy single men (and those of us who made this transition deeply appreciate people like you who helped us and cared for us) and/or join the 10% that manage to attract women. neither of these good outcomes will actually solve the problem of widespread male isolation. you are quite right to address women's standards but i think it isn't accurate to describe it as an illusion of choice. their choice isnt an illusion, it is real, but it is destructive in the same way that porn is (which you rightly call out as a self-destructive choice). you have rightly pointed out that the men women find attractive also have ten other women. people have spoken of women's standards as unrealistic, but their standards are flawlessly realistic. the problem isnt a lack of realism but a failure to understand how self-destructive these standards are. and even women who understand that the men they find attractive are "not good for them" (the men exercise their option to cheat) they would rather be single or self-destructive rather than take notice of the invisible men who do not have an option to cheat. women need to abandon hypergamy as much as men need to abandon porn. i would go so far as to say that this will not happen until it is reframed not as "settling" but as understanding that they made poor choices and begin appreciate to appreciate the men they ignored. if they view it as settling, they'll wind up with a simp that they have no respect for.

This helped a lot

I gave up looking for love and relationships a long time ago. Made peace with being single and finding acceptance. It's rather refreshing to be free of expectations and social constructs.

I told myself I would try to put myself out there in 2020 and try to date. I dont mind being single but I felt ready to try. No success in terms of a relationship but I am proud of the effort I put in.

I can't even say how much I've spent just to be able to talk to a woman and her to listen to what Im saying. I've been single my entire life (25 years), and i dont know what romantic love feels like. It's gotten to the point where I've become bitter and cold to those around me that I think I've lost the love for my parents and its more of a respect feeling now.

The issue boils down to social media and internet dating. Men are thirsty, women are picky. These two dynamics create a huge imbalance for anyone who spends time online compared to pre-social media/online dating. If you look at the charts, the male loneliness epidemic trend started at about the time Facebook and smartphones came out. Women treat me 100% different in person versus online. Women approach me, pursue me, flirt with me, who would not give me the time of day online. Social media has destroyed dating.

Proud of these young men today. They are smart enough to protect themselves and they’re integrity. They seem to know they’re worth and don’t settle for anything less.