@@tobitaiwo7709 I feel like there's a difference between being responsible for something and taking the blame for it. Responsibility is reflecting on your actions, apologizing/making it up to anyone you might've hurt if possible, and doing your honest best to work on what you perceive as your bad habits/traits. Blame comes with guilt, putting yourself down, all that delicious mental torment ^-^; a little bit of guilt makes sense, especially if the mistake is a big one, but wallowing in it, in my experience at least, is rather counterproductive
That is true, actually, I have experienced abuse from a trauma victim and it was obvious that the abuse came from the trauma they had recieved and the mental illness and pain. I thought that because of this, what they did to me was justified. They actually accepted that what they did to me was bad but they'd never try to fix their actions and would always self-deprecate and self-harm for it. Thankfully, I left them later on. HOWEVER, this doesn't mean all trauma victims are bad, absolutely not. They can be really nice regardless!! But as y'alls above replies have said, what matters is not only accepting it's your fault but working on it too. Of course, easier said than done, but you can't sit around only telling yourself it's your fault and you're horrible. No one can help you if you aren't willing to help yourself. And remember, if you start taking steps, your loved ones will be by your side! I hate to say this, but if you, the reader of this random reply, are currently suffering from trauma, and recognising that you're treating a loved one or a faultless person badly because of it, stop. Stop it. Please stop. Stop. It's never a dead end for anyone. For a start, try listening to what they want, too. Then there's always help available. Take it when you can. A mental health care professional will help you find steps to treat yourself and others better. Trauma is a true illness which needs proper care to heal, but it is NEVER EVER an excuse to hurt someone.
While trauma is not an excuse to hurt others like many comments mention, let's remember that the fact that it isn't an excuse doesn't mean we should ostracize people who act out from being traumatized. That will only worsen their trauma and behavior. The best thing one can do is to be understanding, as the person in front of you may genuinely have never spoken to anyone who took them seriously from an emotional standpoint. That doesn't mean you have to allow them to be toxic to you, but just to see them as a human.
I always thought I was such a bad person for these traits and I always felt bad for it and tried to change but never knew how.. now I know what steps to take so I can tackle all these issues.
Same, i used to be very mean to people, I used to be okay with it. Would say the worst things to people. I catch myself having violent thoughts & it’s not a pleasant feeling. like there’s 2 of me. I was never allowed to express negative emotions bc my mom always started to threaten me, take my things away or it would turn into a fight whenever I got angry, etc. have to wait until she goes away so I can express them. I had no freedom not allowed outside ever. never allowed to do whatever I wanted to do with my life & it keeps me up at night bc I’m 19 & wasted my teen years. I would do anything to go back to when I was 12 but with my current awareness, What I talked about there still happens to this day I struggle to retrieve or find the word for situations like that & describe things to myself I just had a gut feeling that somethings was wrong. This is what held me back from noticing this sooner & still I don’t know it all
I feel like I'm a bad person lately. I shut people down more often. I have thoughts of harming people whenever they agitate me, and I know that isn't okay. When I talk to people, it's hard for me to have conversation. It always feels like people arent talking to me when theyre talking to me. I feel like eating the junk food to get a boost of dopamine everytime. I'm starting to identify these cues and try to get better. But the environment and trauma I went through has driven me into eternal madness. Hopefully I get better soon.
Well, I wouldn't say that expressing anger is not okay, in fact not okay is holding it back like some taker. If someone insists it should be like this, it's just because they get benefit from that or like to have control, it's easier to get ahead over people who hold themselves back.
I know for me I found a great online community and that has helped me heal a great deal but I've also had 20+ years to heal and it's still a struggle not to just shut the world out
@@killapicklepiratepanda7373 well if it's logically acceptable there is nothing to be ashamed of. Violence is what most of places in modern world lack, tricky intrigue hurt times more than hardest punch in face. In fact pain is nothing compared to lose of status.
Going to uni, I was terrified at the idea that I might be a narcissist. Some things I did and reactions I had seemed so self centered, hurtful, and unforgivable. Then, because of people like you who spread knowledge about trauma, I learned that I had internalised everything my parents did in our childhood home, and what I was doing most was really self sabotaging. 10 years later and after alot of self-work, I still struggle with feeling like I'm not a good person. But I no longer abuse substances, I have some amazing friendships, and I work as an assistant psychologist to help others heal from their own traumas. It's a long journey, but healing can be a worthwhile path. It's up to us survivors to spread the good word.
From what I've heard, true narcissistic people don't self question themselves and don't think about whether they're good or bad people. They hate-self reflection and don't feel guilty. You do. This truly means you just went through some trauma and are even trying to get back on the right path!
The myth of the Wounded Healer might very well speak to the work you are doing, and the person you have become. And because I have been through it, as you have, we know the path and can point in the direction of self love and self care.
I’m genuinely crying while writing this. I knew most likely that how I behaved was due to trauma, and my therapist and parents have always tried to work with me to move past it. No one’s ever told me before that how I react is okay, and that’s it’s a natural part of healing. Thank you so much, you truly have no idea how much this means to me. Edit: Idk why so many people have assumed this, but no, I have not hurt anyone. The most I’ve ever done is isolate myself because I fear having a close relationship with someone. The amount of comments I’ve gotten accusing me of hurting others or saying other horrible things is a few too many to count. While I can understand where the assumption could come from, I do want to remind you that these sorts of comments can be extremely hurtful and triggering. Please just remember that everyone is human, and to treat each other kindly here.
Hey there, I don't know you, but it doesn't stop me from wishing you good luck with your healing journey, you're so strong and I hope you never forget it, here's a flower to remind you that hope can grow and flourish even where people say it would be impossible ✿ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
I wish you good luck on your healing journey and remember don’t push yourself to hard healing takes time no matter what type of healing it is Also don’t forget to keep your head up high
Every show/movie/book/story with healthy family systems makes me cry. I go through most stages of grief instantaneously bc I'm grieving my broken family. Most of my friends are used to it by now, but newer ones think I'm just an emotional person and then get confused when I don't know how to support them when they're emotional. And I'm a full grown adult. Healing is tough.
It happens to me , I cry whenever I see a loving, healthy family because I never have one. But I try stop and say to myself " nobody cares about you so why are u crying?". I remember On my 30th BD, I took a solo day trip ( I have no friends neither). I stop by an ice cream place. I saw a father with 2 little daughters enjoyed their happy time there. I tried not to cry and remember that I never have that moment in my entire life. :(
@@MộtMình_VẫnVui reminds me of the time i went to the movie theater (before the ads/movie started bc we we were early), and saw a father giving his phone to his kid and asking: what do you want today to do you want to play? And then his kid tapped on a game and they started playing together and having a fun time And for some reason i almost started crying thinking my father was never this fun...
I always just cry when i see people having a good time with their dads. Kids getting picked up by their dad, while i get picked up by...a cab. People being able to hug their dad and talk to him, while the only ones that accept me are those i know online. My father abandoned me in 2018. I wasn't good enough for him. And while i wish i could just hate him for the rest of my life to make it easier for me, apparently i still miss him. {I keep dreaming about him, which pisses me off.} I don't want him here in my life because if he was able to abandon me once, he could do it again easily. But i also do want him in my life because he's my biological father. Ofc I'd still love him. Man i don't know what to do. I really don't...
@@raineblackstar3522 i feel like what u miss is a ' parent' and not necessarily your father.. My father was very abusive and recently abandoned us and doing all sorts of dirty plays to frame us in court.. Yet one day i dreamed about having him back in my life.. I woke up feeling sick. Its not my father that i miss.. I miss and really crave the presence of a good father, that he wasn't. its only natural it won't go way. And just like u all, my heart aches when i see a happy child with their parent.im happy for the child but it hurts i wish had that too.
Tbh, you saying this made me remember when I watched Cristiano Ronaldo's Documentary he made (years ago) and it was focused around his home life with his son. And the scenes where he buckled his son's seatbelt and asked him if he wanted more breakfast literally made me cry and I couldn't explain why. These were all regular positive things, so why was I sad at the sight of seeing him care for his son? Then it hit me; my dad wasn't exactly that type...
I'm stay not ARMY but I relate to this a lot. All 4 of my siblings fell victim to family patterns and I'm fighting limb and limb to make sure I'm the exception.
I was bullied at school so many times that it left a huge scar on me took me long to open up to someone though, I am still stuggling I still try. So I could stop making myself miserable, thank you for the tips it is so helpful ❤
Yeah that sucks I was bullied too...for being skinny and talking funny to them..i hurt people from a lot of frustrations I endured I take things out on wrongful people who didn't deserve it...I was stupid and angry to care at a young age now I'm paying for most things I did like answering for my crimes in society to say to God I've sinned a lot forgive me.If others are filled with rage it's important to seek help not bottle it up otherwise it'll make you sick and weak minded...I'd say it's natural to feel hopeless but it's never ok to think your not worth love...I feel like I'm not for doing wrong things and I'd try to remind myself that I'm human just like everyone as life is the best teacher to teach how to behave and treat others around you.Something my mom told me a lot.
good luck. I found that when I trusted people and opened up to them about past bullying, they blamed me and said it was my fault, and they started avoiding me. no one likes negativity. Nope, if youre not all smiles and sunshine, even when people dump on you, they will withdraw from you. at least, that has been my experience. Most people DONT care if you have been mistreated. They blame you for being victimized. You know, like how some people blame a rape victim for dressing attractively, or drinking too much, or being in the wrong place. yes, our actions can make us vulnerable. but, that doesn't excuse bad behavior. Being intoxicated does NOT give someone permission to assault you.
This was me. I'm working on myself. I found a friend who came from the same place I did, and helped realize that I wasn't a horrible person, but a product of what was done to me. I am working on my hatred little by little. These videos are also a help. It's nice to know I'm not alone.
Yes! Same, I am in this state right now. Every single thing they mentioned was something I could relate to. It's really sad when u become a certain age and finally actually realize how much of the stuff we go through others have experienced too. So be kind bc u never know what's happened for others.
I relate to all 7. And yes, I distant myself from others because I don't want to cause harm on them. Still working on it to be better. I wish everyone here a successful life, and happiness.
Self awareness is the key to EVERYTHING in each person’s life. So if someone does not have this capability it doesn’t matter AND cannot be given a pass for their behaviors, PERIOD.
@@ylowtus8483 no it’s just the vessel that it takes shape. It’s an awareness. You are not your clothes, or your car or your home. All these ‘vessels’ can be taken away or destroyed. So when that happens do you cease to have value?
I tend to be hyper optimistic to a fault because of my trauma, I see the good in people even when they dont want to change. A video on that would be cool too honestly. It's much more common to become nihilistic but staunch optimism is terrible too.
I... I did this. I was abused throughout childhood (and up till recently) and I have only now realized that I've literally been doping myself with manic optimism to survive. I even deluded myself into thinking I was the problem, that I didn't really have ADHD, and that most of it wasn't 'that bad'! I was thoroughly broken and never realized that I was a dead man walking until a month or two ago... As a side note, I find pop psychology channels like this to have less than stellar accuracy and usefulness. If you have traumas you'd like to explore, I suggest looking into more professional videos by actual psychologists and etc for actual usable data. These channels can only go so far. After all, they're 'pop sci/psych' for a reason.
@@brycemedvin8765 Yeah I have ADHD too and I agree with you therapy would go far in my case and possibly yours as well. I found out what I did was called "Fawning" Its a third option to fight or flight. You cow tow and coddle the person who's hurting you to appease them. But a saying I found has helped. There are two types of people, Ones who will appreciate you for giving them a drop of water and the ones who will take you for granted for giving them the entire ocean. People wont love you for giving them an abundance of something they already don't appreciate. But I DO appreciate your words and I hope you continue to get better and I appreciate your insight. It will get better!
im glad i saw this video, these past months and/or year after leaving my toxic environment, i started to notice changes of my behavior and im occasionally really bothered if I’m changing as an even more worse version of myself this video made me more aware and informed, i wish i can be better so i won’t be able to harm others edit: to anyone liking and replying in my comment, i am here and i am willing to listen and see your vents, you’re welcome here
Don’t say you can or you can’t say you will or you won’t. I hope you have the will to get past the negative feeling weighing on you. You/y’all (who ever else may read this) got this 🙏
I got out of a toxic relationship recently too. I was told I was different by them, that I changed from when we were friends, but I don't know. I tend to mimic personalities, and that doesn't help mixed with trauma, so I seem worse now.
I’m currently in a toxic relationship with my family, but I’m too young to leave and start a new life. I watched this video, kind of as a joke, as awful as that sounds, but as I continued watching, I found more and more examples from my everyday life that I could relate back to the signs. I’m a lot more emotional, socially withdraw from my friends often, oversleep then get mad at myself for missing opportunities that I could of done, overeat then hate how I look, and one of the more self-destructive coping mechanisms that exist. I’ve been trying to bring up the possibility of me getting therapy with my parents, but they brush it off or say things like “until you spend more time with the family, that’s not an option”. I’ve threatened child services before because their treatment of me has gone from verbal, to emotional, to physical. I get yelled at, which isn’t uncommon when a child does something incorrect, but their mostly things about my body, my personality, and my popularity. But it has gone to the point where I am being physically hurt. I no longer feel like I want to be a part of this world, and I feel as if I can’t tell anyone because they either wouldn’t understand or wouldn’t care. My only hope is that if things aren’t going to change for me, things can start to get better for others. I probably wouldn’t have had the courage to tell this to someone in real life, but it’s calming now knowing some people can see what I’ve been going through, and maybe see that I’m not just a selfish asshole like my parents tell me I am, but a person who just needs help. Thanks for reading my sob story, if you read it because you genuinely care, or if you just like to read gossip and trauma. Have a good morning, day, afternoon, evening, or night, and I pray to whatever god or gods might be out there that people don’t relate to this post. Edit: I have never had this many people come together on something I wrote. Thank you all for being so supportive and caring towards someone you've never met. I haven't looked at this post until now, and I realized how many people have banded together to help me, and I cannot thank you enough. I have some good news and bad news for everyone, so strap in for some tea about a stranger's life. Bad News: I have had 3 panic attacks in the last 2 months, and my parents told me to, and I quote, "Just drink some tea" My parents have been snooping through my phone and found out: 1. I am gay and 2. I am been thinking about killing myself. They addressed me being gay first. My mother threatened to check me into the hospital They overall think I'm weak as shit so that's fun. Good News: I am going to start therapy with my entire family, so we can most likely sort through all our problems! I have started a D&D campaign with my friends and am learning how to be a proper DM! It's really fun! My parents are considering getting me a stress test (Whatever that is) and individual counselling! So yeah, that's been my life so far! I might check in later on and see what's up!
You're young, it wasn't your fault. And you're a strong warrior for being able to reach this far in life, things may seem dark for now but I'm hoping the future has a better path made for you and I hope you'll eventually find people that will make you feel safe and accept you as the way you are. You did not deserve a single bad thing that your family had put you through and although I'm just a stranger, remember you're heard, heard by me and all the people who saw your comment.
Life may seem bleak. . . . and it can and it will. Even if we want to find the sun in it the coming tide of darkness. Not matter what though, we have to fight for our future. It will not be easy, but know this. If you have gotten this far. Don't let it stop you, never give in, never falter, never let go of your sanity, and never stop. You can find your way to a better future.
Keep up the work or you'll end up like me emotionless lonely man whose heart is hollow and cloated in darkness and hatred towards everything and everyone
Please do not take what your family members are saying to heart... Your a strong person who doesn't deserve this misfortune. So don't let yourself be diminished by such toxicity rise up and be greater!👍
I'm a simple man, I see Omori, I click /ctto Jokes aside, this is well-explained. You arent a bad person but just act through the trauma you had. Notice how a lot of *antagonist* have bad trauma but not bad at heart like Loki, Dr. Otto Octavius and Venom. Hope that you feel better to anyone who has trauma in the past
Yup this entire video explains myself, I’m at a point in my life where I’ve literally lost everything and everyone around me. I don’t even know what to do anymore I lowkey just want a hug and someone to talk to
Hey, i know how you feel and i understand what that feels like. as this describes me to. I'd he happy to talk to you. If you can give me your discord if you have it I'm usually always free all day everyday, you can talk to me if you need somebody
Yes, I do have trauma. Around my circle, no one told me that my experiences isn't my fault but I was told otherwise. I'm constantly blaming myself for getting bullied all the time because someone said it's my fault.
that is why bullying the bullies never made me feel remorse or guilty you or any victim didn't deserve this but ''the bullies'' certainly did and like wise they got punished not bullied.
Coming from someone who was bullied alot in school, and not much better at home, just know you aren't alone, and if you ever wanna talk about your emotions, just reach out to me hear
My insights may not be particularly helpful or applicable to your personal situation, but I've been dealing with overbearing fears of judgment myself lately and learning how to disempower them more to act freer in gender transition, figured I'd share just in case they're of some use. I've acknowledged that I've been long overminding others and their wishes/biddings and underminding myself and my wishes/biddings, excessively sacrificing parts of myself and how I would like to be while bending over backwards to the biddings/forbiddings of others. Realizing this imbalance in my relationship with others like my family has pushed me into advocating for myself more and refusing to be force-fit into their narrow norms. On one hand the potential threat of others' wrath waiting to be sprung upon truth tell can easily deter me from honesty and sway me to lie or silence my voice as it often does, but on the other hand I'd have to once again reckon with and quell my inner self-wrath for not pushing past fears and daring to open up again about myself with others in order to finally stop stifling and hurting myself in this adverse socially obliged yet opt-outtable way. Inspired in large part by Inside Out 2 and prior exposure to Pro-Christian/Anti-Christian animosity-ridden religious discourse I also acknowledged that I'm prone to prejudge other people as observing and judging me negatively, that it's anxiety-inducing abuse of my wild, all-else-are-othering-and-conspiring-against-me-in-particular level social environment pessimistic, mislead-prone imagination then misenfaithed as an intuited truth despite doubt-worthy discernibility. While under a fear-fueled overthinking spell reminding myself that's the kind of mislead I'm misminding yet again had broken the spell.
@@BeDatAPickle Is a survival mechanism. That means that unfortunately it worked so much better than being honest and vulnerable or people punished and betrayed them for being truthful. But is never late to become who we truly are.
I've experienced most of these signs...and I even noticed that I used to be nice, outgoing and talkative, but now I barely socialize anymore, and I hesitate to ask for help because of how I'd usually be treated when I ask for help.
In 2020, C-PTSD symptoms intensified for the first time in my life. Flashbacks, hallucinations, nightmares. I have survived various forms of prolonged abuse, and I buried it since I was a kid, and as it continued into adulthood. So when I finally addressed it, 2020 was about the time it would all come back, and then after experiencing psychotic symptoms and the trauma responses in this video, I lost a group of friends. They called me toxic, and one compared me to her abuser and it triggered me so heavily I almost ended my life after they rejected my apologies and gaslit me. One spoke badly about me publicly on social media and joked about being free of me because this trauma has made me so terrible, and all because I blogged about it and I was honest about my feelings, even when they were distorted. Too honest and too vague. I've regained self-hatred and believe my abusers again, so what my friends said I could only accept as true. So I feel trauma has made me a bad person and I just isolate and won't make new friends or date so I don't hurt anyone else by accident again. This video did make me feel a little better, but I feel I am too broken to deserve love and happiness.
I remember my friends calling me too negative, and they would try to one-up me on my bad experiences like my childhood abuse and anxiety. If they are doing this, they really aren’t your friends. Real friends would be concerned and try to talk to you about it rather than shame you. It isn’t your fault. I also felt like I was too broken to deserve love and happiness, but you do. Mine would get so bad that if I lost or broke something, or had a fight with someone, that it was all my fault and I didn’t deserve to live. The thing that honestly helped me a lot was to stop hating myself and start loving myself. To start taking care of myself. Think about all of the good you have done for people. Just know that when you are aware and you try not to hurt others feelings and too apologetic, then you are really aware of how you treat others. This means that you can empathize with people. I’ve been having a rough time lately because of my relentless sicknesses. I’ve gotten diagnosed with illnesses ever since I was 12. I am eighteen now, and I have been dealing with a fatty liver. I’ve never drank alcohol, but I’ve had to change my lifestyle quite a bit. If the lifestyle change doesn’t help, I will have to get a biopsy done on my liver. It’s getting really old, but I’ve sort of realized something. Maybe the reason I am going through all of this emotional and physical pain is so that I can help others going through the same. The fact that I could recognize signs of abuse and sicknesses so easily gives me the ability to help others cope through the same. I’ve had people tell me about how they have been through the same, but none of them have been through everything. I know it doesn’t always help to hear, but you are good person. You deserve love and happiness. You are loved, you just need to find the right people to be around, which can be hard. There are so many people that you don’t know, going through the same thing that you are. You are not alone in your thoughts and feelings. Treat yourself, because you are worth it. You are on this earth because you have a purpose. I know it can be quite scary, but let yourself live, and let yourself feel your emotions.
You have to be careful because there are people in this world who will see your vulnerability and try to take advantage. Don't over-share with anyone you meet, get to know them first and see how they act towards you, if they put you down or uplift you. Those people were not good friends. They were people who needed you to be miserable to feel better about themselves. Don't take things people say personally. Oftentimes it has more to do with them than it has to do with you, especially if you know you do your best to do the right thing. You will get there someday. I used to be like this and now I'm healthier and I'm not suicidal anymore and I no longer have CPTSD symptoms as often,, but it's also because my environment has improved. If you can, try to improve yours too, or take steps to get there eventually over time. You got this, you are wonderful and you deserve the best 💛
I am gently encouraging you to try therapy. It saved my life. You do not have to carry that around forever. If finances are a concern, consider finding a counselor or therapist program that's run by the the city or county you live in. They're very affordable, and just like doctors, they're in this work because they CARE. Treat yourself to some love, bud. You deserve it 🙂
Growing up watching your parents argue and fight to the point you almost got separated...made me feel terrible to the point i almost thought to end my life rather than having a fear of hearing such cuss words every day and seeing such sights that traumatized you for life made my mental health issues worse and now I'm showing all the symptoms of anxiety and panic attacks Edit: Please be respectful with your replies..A trauma is a trauma it's not about who got it the worst..it's not a competition. Yeah you can share your stories but comparing it with mine won't make you win anything. We're all on the same boat.
This is the most spoiled rich kid mayonnaise comment. I saw my mom stab my dad when I was 4 and that was just the beginning never in my life would I post such gross attention grab comment 😂 My parents cussed 😢
Listen. My friends. The worst part of trauma is getting fixated on a substance that removes these bad traits. A lot of toxic people also have the traits stated in this video. But for those… like me… who took to substance abuse to break themselves further because it’s part of the cycle. I know you, and so many of us “strong ones” know you
@@prodbyvandal Depends on the drug? Opiates made me FEEL like the best me. Outgoing, confident, in control, demanding, assertive, direct, incisive - good for project management... but actually horrible for that bc I was actually a mean, constantly angry dick. It amplified all my worst traits. Bad temper, arrogant, etc. When in reality, when calm, i want peace. I'm a very compassionate, empathetic, caring person with a deeply-seeded desire to be fair, to assist others where i can, to be generous and charitable. Treatment made me the best me. I always struggled at work with being defensive and never biting my tongue if I KNEW i was right and boss was wrong even if I knew it wasn't the time. Even if i knew to pick my battles, and be patient. Treatment and suboxone helped me be much less confrontational, but not a pushover. Helped me be less defensive. It really helped, too. That was almost 6 yrs ago and while I've taken a handful of opiate pills (probably about 20) over those 6 yrs, i've stayed away other than that. I still take a tiny amount of subs.
Yes, and the drugs/drinking help us cope - or at least that's what we tell ourselves. Like it's just too much to deal with so we take the thing. That's not the way to go. I treatment, my counselor said substituting in something like Mountain Dew or chocolate cake or red bull was okay. TBF, she was trying to just keep ppl alive and off opiates and in the program. She'd say we can deal with the extra ten pounds you gain later. But you'll be alive. 6 months in and i was still heavily dependent on opiates/subs. But new counselor said brain chemistry needs time to correct itself. And sure enough, i was able to drastically cut down the amount of suboxone to the point that i'd take less in 2 weeks than i used to take in one day. And without any noticeable negative impact. That took yrs tho. Now i take less in a month than i used to take in one day. But if i take none, i feel like crap after about 3 days. so still working on it
I'm an abuse survivor, and I know that the complete opposite to some of these are completely true for me, and maybe for you too. Remember to always work on yourself, to improve yourself, but never blame yourself. Hou maybe having a bad day today, and feel alone. Remember, you ARE loved and you're a good person. May you have a blessed day and keep strong
I have all 7 signs.... #6 is what I am going through right now. About 3 weeks ago, I was told by a colleague that I am too emotional. I was only expressing how I felt for a long time and talked about it once but instead of them being understanding, I was completely misunderstood. As a response, I became emotionally distant. I am not the same colleague who used to interact with them. The rest of my colleagues wondered why I became too silent but I never responded to that kind of comment. I don't trust them with my emotions anymore.
When we receive criticism instead of understanding, it's normal to want to shut down. Deep down you are wounded and it's normal to take some distance from the people that hurt you. Even if they didn't mean to, they made you feel unsafe. And feeling safe is everything to trauma survivors.
im so sorry. there are few things worse than being told you're too sensitive when talking about what you're feeling. it can really take a toll on you. but please, for the sake of your mental health, don't let that make you not want to open up ever again. try to find trust worthy people, or even a therapist, and talk to them (if you havent already done that)
I don't get the whole " too emotionel" remark. We are humans. We are driven by emotions more or less. Some more than others. It's not something i find negative 🙂
It’s an amazing feeling when you are no longer controlled by your demons, but instead you control them because they fear you because of the power you have to overcome them.
Nah my demons just tell me to do stupid shït like "if ya don't get to that lampost in the next 5 seconds you will *die* " Or to eat the chocolate and put the wrapper back into the cupboard or the most common one is to kill everyone I know just to see what it's like lol
But remember that trauma isn't an excuse for someone to treat someone else badly. It's important that they get the help that they need so that they can start to heal.
It all make sense because that’s how I was. I’m 63 and this way most of my life. Never realized the culprit was trauma. I didn’t know about it. I have hurt a lot of people and ruined 2 marriages. I will not excuse my behavior. I was always sorry afterwards. Now I have an explanation which is huge. I have a path to healing. All I can do is be sorry but prove by my actions I’m on a healing path.
I understand you completely. I ruined a marriage early in life. I definitely have unfinished business with this person . I dream of him alot and we were divorced over 25 years ago ! I have a new therapist that i am hoping will be a good fit . I have an opportunity to have a new relationship. I am so ambivalent. Am i not attracted ? Or am i repressed and don't know a good thing if it was banging on my iron heart ?
That thumbnail art is amazing! As someone who is studying to becoming a psychiatrist who focuses on PTSD, I really appreciate videos like this that put things like trauma and PTSD in terms that are relatable, and accompanying them with beautiful art. I have been subscribed for about a year now, and have not regretted it once. Thank you for the videos 😊
This is why good / bad morality stuff is subjective and shouldn't be used as a scale, everyone's got good and bad. There's very few ppl who are just bad. I have trauma and had to face that i hurt people and that in itself hurt me like crazy. I think even tho we have trauma we should still be held accountable to the best of our ability. But to do it properly without beating ourselves up for our overall character or putting defense mechanisms up and thinking we're the morally righteous ones
Good / bad morality is definite and separates people by trustworthy and useless to pay attention. Emotions doesn't matter, we just give people what they deserve.
yeah we definitely should be held responsible, trauma doesnt give us an excuse to be jerks. however, we should work on ourselves by first understanding what the trauma did to us and how to fix it
I just started therapy because I blew up my relationship. I treated the women I loved and her friends terribly, and it’s all because of me. I’ve been feeling awful. I’m tired of running from myself. I want to get better. I want to thank your channel for helping me these past few days.
The statement that changed everything for me, that started my road toward freedom from trauma was so simple but only one person said it: “You’re worth saving because you’re more important”
I have "friends" and I could get a job literally tm if I wanted to, but life just sucks. I don't see the point in working almost everyday for the next 50+ years (if I live that long) just to live. Just to eat and sleep comfortabley in a house I want/NEED. I feel like a complete slave no matter what job I possibly do. I lost all my "good" friends because we just grew apart I guess. The friends I do have now just seem two-faced.😪. I'm really struggling rn bro, esp since my grandpa just died a couple weeks ago. It hasn't even really hit me yet and I'm scared for when it does.
A lot of this describes me extremely well. One of the most painful things for me has been that it's very difficult to be close with anybody, because I feel like a horrible, unlovable and gross person that's unworthy of meaningful relationships with anyone. I'm slowly getting better at this, but it's the bane of my existence, especially when everyone else around you talks so happy-go-lucky about these kinds of things. It really hurts because it reminds me of what I'm missing out on because of my trauma. But maybe one day... At least I'm headed in the right direction.
I went through a lot of racial bulling in middle school/ high school to the point i felt i didn't think i had a soul or any self worth. as a result almost 15 years later i find myself jobless and friendless looking after my 80 year old adoptive parents. I am in therapy but i want to thank you for this video, i always though i was the scum of the earth but everything lines up with the signs. I was told i have PTSD and Agoraphobia.Thanks this channel its eye opening and wonderful.
Wow this was so relatable.. ive honestly spent so many years thinking im just a bad person, i never understood how i wanted to be with someone so much but then would freak out and get so anxious, i fixated on any little thing that went wrong, im a very isolated person, very rarely see people other than my children, im learning alot about myself through your videos, thank you
Unfortunately I’ve said yes to everyone of the 7 signs in the video, can you guys please make a video about how to overcome trauma or steps on where to begin? Also these videos really help my day to day thank you for your amazing content!
Therapy with a psychologist who specializes in your type of trauma (family, sexual, physical, etc). Good luck, you're stronger than the trauma and I believe in you
You should visit an actual professional for this. They can personally help and guide you to work on your own problems, and you'll learn so much more with them. At the very least, more than with these internet shorts...
is it possible for you to try professional help like therapy? you can try and help yourself, of course, but from what i've gathered therapy is more efficient
I lost my friends through my actions in the past, when I used to act the way this video describes. Trying to tell someone that you are not how you were in the past is difficult and frustrating. I've healed so well lately it's just the anxiety of seeing those people knowing they still see me the exact same and not the version of me who is not that person anymore really troubles me. (I miss all my best friends and I've changed and I will show it, even though I was so toxic and wronged you
1. You're Always Looking For The First Sign of Trouble 0:42 2. You Have A Hard Time Trusting Others 1:12 3. You Socially Withdraw Sometimes 1:42 4. You Sabotage Your Own Relationships 2:17 5. You Have Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms 2:53 6. You're Emotionally Respressed and Distant 3:32 7. You Can't Control Your Emotions 4:04 Hope y'all have a great week!
Once my teacher compared my trauma to another girls trauma because she was bullying me and said that I was in the wrong and not her. We both literally dealt with the same thing at home
Really awful >how< some people (actually!!!) use that "nevermind" often, though and then take part of your energy on top of the hurt they just caused, depraved as they dare name themselves!(wouldn't you rather or at least also throw pacification into the ring? Some things aren't relative, though (yet). It is extremely hard to be that form of different in combination with an immunity, or any form of, to that bad behaviour (love what sir Davos said about stannis in regard to appreciating the finer points of bad behaviour (which is that S. Baratheon doesn't), because YES the world IS cruel, then. But what weak people are capable of... Mhhh There is, as I would, from my pain, point out, a difference between, sick, hurt and/or traumatized OR being sick and tired and/or weak(ened). Space-time continuum, eh guys, sometimes people are just heavied up black holes, for they do suck a lot, but, too, it is a dilemma...
The fact that I relate to all of these makes me wonder if I actually have trauma lmao The only thing I've ever considered to be trauma is sa and (physical) abuse, so probably. *Edit: I feel the need to clarify this, but no I'm not saying that other forms of trauma isn't "real" trauma or something along those lines, I'm fully aware that mental abuse and being the witness of something can still be trauma. What I'm trying to say by this comment is most people I know who have struggled a lot / acknowledged their trauma usually had to deal with some type of more straightforward trauma like physical abuse or assault/r4p3 and etc. and it makes me feel like my forms of trauma (emotional) aren't considered valid trauma, even though I know it is. And that feeling is the reason why I never realized it was actual trauma, until recently. I know some of you know what I meant/agreeing with me, but I feel that some of you are also trying to correct me as well, so I just wanted to make sure there wasn't any miscommunication. Have a good day.
dude sa and physical a does cause trauma, i know because i was sa at a young age and was diagnosed with it. even if you havent been diagnosed you're still valid so dont let anyone think your traumatic experiences arent traumatic and/or invalid
@@nostalgcis Trauma is personal. It's completely different for each individual. My mother's trauma was watching her neighour friend's dad kill a kitten in front of them when she was a young child. My trauma was being sexually assaulted. Both of us had trauma. Emotional trauma is just as crippling.
@@MakingtheCase yeah, it seems like everyone has the same kinds of trauma at this point so its hard to think of anything other than the most common scenarios for me but its nice to be reminded there are other forms of trauma that can even go unnoticed
I wish I had known this sooner... I fought tooth and nail through trap houses, an opiate addiction, isolation and homelessness; and I'm only now beginning to really understand what happened. Thank you. Just... Thank you.
I was telling someone I care about, that I was a disgusting person for something that happened as a result of my trauma. He told me "no, that's no you. It's all the trauma, and it doesn't make me see you any differently. You aren't your trauma" He helped me a lot.
For 6 years straight I was bullied for my weight and how I looked and the way I acted. I was the weird kid because I didn’t act like them so I was considered weird, my self imaged crumbled into sharp pieces of glass that hurt me, I grew to have anger issues but also being the most sensitive I could possibly be. But the year I when to a new school with new people that were nice to me I started to heal, I stilll get irritated easily but it’s less than before and I’m happier.
I didn’t realize how much I needed this video. Last year, I had a really bad flashback to my trauma & an intense panic attack on the anniversary of it. And since then, I haven’t acted like I used to. I haven’t talked to my friends in over a year, I rarely leave my bed, and- while I want to spend time with my family- I can’t seem to find the energy to do it anymore. I always immediately say I don’t feel up to it or I’m tired or some kind of excuse to get out of it. I figured I was just being lazy or rude and I needed to fix myself so I would go back to how I was before. I never thought to stop and really look back at what caused me to be different. Now it makes sense ❣️Thank you for making these videos. Whenever I watch them, they always make me feel seen and less alone. And sometimes, like this one, they help me move forward a bit in a better way. Your channel helps so many people and it’s amazing that you put so much care into each one, doing what you can to help anyone who needs it❣️
yep. I was bullied as a kid, so in high school I tried to keep a low profile to try and avoid conflict. Which, made me socially withdrawn. In my teens and 20's, I was rejected a lot. So, I finally gave up in my 30's. Everything I ever tried to do was never good enough. People I trusted betrayed me or took advantage of my kindness and generosity. I learned that I could NOT depend on anyone. So, in my 40's I became angry, bitter, and resentful. I AVOID people as much as possible. I'm also a highly sensitive person, so yes, I have trouble controlling my emotions. Whether it be anger or sadness. So, now I understand why some old people are grumpy. Either life experiences, or poor health,sometimes both, causes people to become angry.
as someone who has 3 trauma’s i really needed to hear this. so i wanna thank you and i want to say that whoever is/was going through trauma, your trauma is not your fault. you are a beautiful person. i love you 💕
I suffered from physical and psychological bullying since I was 4 years old 'til 11. Years later, there are gaps in my memory about things that happened back then, and I struggle to control my emotions. I even have aches, migraines and cramps when I get stressed. It took me a whole year to trust someone enough to consider her a friend, and now, at 16, my first ever friend is my girlfriend, who knows me since we where 11 and also has her own struggles; she's probably the person that understants what I went through better than anyone, and I'm grateful that I'm not going through healing alone.
This helped me so much understand myself and why I do the things I do. Honestly I tried denying that I had trauma and just ended up thinking that I was overreacting, but I was actually able to relate to most of these signs. This makes me wish my ex-girlfriend understood why I acted the way I did when we were still in a relationship.
This video nearly COMPLETELY relates to how I’ve felt in my life. Ever since I started school, my parents had insanely high expectations for me since that’s what they were used to from their parents. It stressed me out the longer time went on and I started to decrease in academic performance which my parents were furious about. They started comparing me to my older brother and sister or my friends who were the smartest in the classes and it just made me feel like a black spot in the family, where I’m expected to be smart I’m stupid as hell instead. My parents ended up just straight up insulting me and saying “You’ll become a trash collector when you grow up” or some random bullshit like that. But the fact that they had the thought to even say that and not think about how much that actually hurts is what makes me feel like I’m genuinely worth nothing. To all of you who are suffering from traumatic experiences like relationships or friends or family issues, I pray that things will be alright for you and that everything will be okay.
This video was so helpful for me thanks. I worked in several different retail jobs for five or so years and all of them were incredibly toxic environments that I believe have left me with considerable psychological trauma that I am only just learning to deal with. I feel that many of the signs explored in this video apply to me. Spending too much money was an unhealthy coping mechanism I got into and its not been easy to give it up. I used to go places on days out with my family but haven't done since 2019 despite many opportunities. Its like there's always a negativity that just makes me never want to do a lot of the things I used to enjoy. I'm starting to recover now but I think I still have a long way to go. Thanks again for the video.
I can relate to this so much for a couple of reasons like when i was a kid i got very stressed when there was drinking at home, those i trusted changed and that made it a lot tougher to trust other people aswell. The part about wanting to be with someone else, but you cancel it and end up alone, that is me to the core. Great video, i love these videos! 🤗❤️
Hurting someone in the moment and realizing what you did after is too late is literally the worst feeling, i became suicidal for a bit once the realization kicked in. It sucks cuz now I just shut myself down from everyone and everything as to not hurt anyone unintentionally again.
Literally, I cried. From 1-7, it all speaks volumes of trauma. At times, you feel crazy or even justified, but deep down inside we're hurting. Like most people, I want unconditional love and return it. I don't mean to act out, though I'm coming to understand every action has a cause. As I did, ask yourself, what do you truly desire? What made you upset? Whether it's them cheating on you, lying, or not being loved, ask yourself these questions. It's important to understand why you love someone, yet moreover why you should first love yourself. Replace a bad habit with a good habit, if you like my comment help me spread my heart and let it be heard. I didn't plan on commenting, but like some people might say, " It's gonna be okay!". Or.., " Believe in yourself!." It's more than that. Being hurt emotionally hurts more than physically, in my opinion. It's not gonna be easy, for some it is, but ultimately only you can determine that. Again, replace a bad habit, with a good habit. When you feel like biting your nails out of anxiety, read a quick memo or jot a note down in your phone or journal. A little goes a long WAY! 🙃
When I was 9 years old, I got in a car crash with my grandmother. No one was hurt, many of the firefighters said it was a miracle both of us came out without major injuries. My mom was scared I would have severe trauma from this, but really, I was just mad she didn’t let me eat my already half-eaten donut, that was now covered in shattered glass. (I’m completely fine now, ty for reading ❤)
The socially withdrawn part I can really relate to! I miss being around friends but also my mind tells me I don’t need them and need to focus on other stuff. I haven’t seen my one friend in two years and still somehow when she wants to hang out there is always something stopping us. Mostly from my end. Why is that? Why can’t I just find “motivation” to contact friends and socialize?
I had my classmates treat me differently because I had epilepsy, they would always push me back out of the conversations and would betray me at most of times for hanging out with different people.
My almost 19 year old brother passed away three years ago, and there are some things of my own healing process that are only coming now because the previous years I was too focused on making me and more important, my mother, go on. I was too afraid of her letting herself dive deep into her depression, and now that things are "more stable" there are things of my own trauma coming to the surface. I never thought I was a bad person, but there are some aspects of my life that I feel guilty and, furthermore, I feel stuck. I don't achieve getting stabilized in my job, or to get a healthy relationship with my mom. I know I will, but sometimes procrastination wins the game and is so frustrating because it's not like I enjoy being on the sofa all day and watching tiktok or youtube. Idk why I'm writing this, it's not gonna solve anything, but I really resonated with that part of "the unhealthy coping mechanisms". Remember, being online all the time IS an unhealthy coping mechanism. It just goes under the radar because you're not phisically hurting yourself. So, yeah. Thanks in case anyone reads this. ❤
Well, I clicked on this out of curiosity, didn't expect to relate so much I'd start crying by the end. One of the hardest things for me was to even realize that I had been subjected to abuse. Like, I was describing situations to my therapist and she then later referred to those as abuse - mind you, she didn't tell me "This was abuse," but she said it in a way like it was a given that what happened to me was abusive, and it opened my mind. I had NEVER considered my experience as abusive, just as uncomfortable. We just go on in our lives without ever considering how some things mess us up, and we're just supposed to get up and move on without ever addressing our pain. No wonder we're all suffering so much.
I truly appreciate this video. I always beat up myself for the way I act and respond to certain situations. I relate to majority of these items and I didn't know before, that it could be or is trauma. My parents, friends, and siblings always say I'm so negative and that I seems like I can't control strong emotions such as sadness or anger. I can't seem to talk to people without feeling awkward and I struggle with being social. My parents just say it's being shy but they are also to connect with. I appreciate if anyone reads this and I wish everyone a good day/night!
I can relate , my only problem is that I'm sensitive and that i have anger issues , I'm trying my best to change a bit but still i can't , even communicating with people seems hard to me sometimes lol
@@Ekaterina40219 there's nothing wrong being sensitive yk? Maybe just being more aware of what triggers you or what things, what people say, who are those people, etc. Obviously we can't not react. We're humans. But we can choose how we react. Instead of allowing them to piss you of, recognize whats happening, think about how you can react, then choose which one you want. Its a way to have control and also a way for others to not control you. Also communicating is a skill. If you don't talk alot? Guess what? You won't be good enough to communicate your thoughts or whatever. Its so simple yet deep at the same time. I can't give you answers but i can definitely offer you some perspective. You'll be alright fam👌take it easy
I can't go through every comment so I'm just going to say this here. I wish you all the best of luck and am proud of you all for making it this far. Never give up on yourself because as long as you are breathing there is still hope of you finding the happiness you deserve. You got this!
Idk, I wouldn’t consider myself traumatized since people even in my life went through far worse but I realized that I’ll never get what I truly want and even if I lower my standards I won’t be as happy (I tried). By “never get what I truly want” I’m not talking about the kind that can be obtained if I work for it, I’m talking about it being genuinely unachievable as in I’d have to get a genie, hire a witch, find magic, or be Doctor Strange to have even the slightest chances of getting it all. Also some bad tech stuff happened to me since December with the majority of it being practically unrecoverable and I now relate to the phrase “my 13th reason”.
@@corncobbob2326 I think I'm in a similar situation. I have that feeling that I will never be satisfied whatever I end up doing. Part of me is scared to even achieve anything because even if I do what if nothing changes? What if I will never be happy in the end? I hate it and I hate myself for it. But even though a big part of me wants to give up I want to keep betting on that small chance something does get better. The sad realty is that this world is very very flawed but I push forward because I would rather give it my best making others happy to help them at least enjoy a little bit of their time here than let this little time we have on this earth end in only sadness. I just hope I also find happiness along the way and be able to look back and be proud at what I have done at the end of my life but even if I don't at least I will know I've let others enjoy that feeling. Don't give up on yourself completely. You may not like yourself now but as long as your still living still pushing forward even if its inch by inch your not the worst you that you can be there's still something redeemable about you. Keep searching for your happiness, be open minded, try new things, and hold onto that slight bit of hope that you will eventually find it. I wish you the best of luck on your path and I hope this helps a bit
This is a two-part trauma story that still affects me today but I have friends who support me even though they have no idea they’ve helped me a massive amount. When I was around 9 I would always get the piss beaten out of me (well technically from the age of 4 to the age of 13. I’m 16 soon to be 17 so I’m still trying to recover) everyday I would come home from school with bruises and the occasional black eye. Some times when I would go to the bathroom it would be more blood then urine from how often I was kicked in the nether regions. Elementary and middle school was literally a living hell for the innocent and quite. If you didn’t defend yourself and told anyone of authority who works at the school the worst that would happen to the student is they would be asked to apologize and more often then not they didn’t ask the other student to do so. But if you tried to defend yourself regardless of who’s in worse shape they would immediately suspend the defendant for a minimum of three days and would have to suspend the attacker for 1 day or else they would get into legal trouble for not suspending both parties. I never defended myself until my mother told me that I had to or she would start grounding me for my own safety around grade 3. So I did. I would get suspended for almost a week every time. I defended myself maybe 4 or 5 times (simply dodging the attacker and letting them hit whatever wall was behind me which often gave them bloody knuckles) and then stopped because I knew if I kept getting suspended I would be held back a grade for not being able to complete my school work. My mother understood and didn’t ground me for doing this but she was always terrified and sometimes would just have me stay home for a “mommy and me” day which was on average about once a month so I wasn’t missing anything major. That’s the first part of this two-part story. There were very few students who left me alone but I did have 3 friends. One of them (we will call her Jane) always made a little bit of fun of me but never went too extreme and hey EVERYONE hated her almost as much as me so the enemy of my enemy was one of the only friends I could make. One day 3 kids were ganging up on me while I was eating my sandwich with Jane. Jane wasn’t strong so she couldn’t have done anything but be a witness and I knew if I had a witness that told the truth I could do some serious damage to these guys and make sure they experienced some sweet sweet justice that they have been long overdue for. So one took a swing at me and I ducked came up around his side then jumped on his back and forced him to fall on his face making him down for the count. The other two then tried to knock me down. I avoided one but that caused me to get hit extra hard by the other. The one who missed then began to go and stomp on my head but I rolled out just before he could connect. This caused him to full speed stomp on tile floor hurting himself. The one who knocked be down tried to kick me where the sun don’t shine but I stepped back grabbed the back of his foot and flipped him over. Two down one to go. The last one standing (on one leg I might add) was winding up for a right hook right across my face so I did the only thing I could think of. I dropped him like his mother did. I spun around low and kicked his legs (or leg) out from underneath him and then the teachers got involved and took all five of us (because Jane was there she has to be questioned) to the office. When it’s janes and I’s turn I begin explaining the whole story. When I’m done principle ass hat then asks Jane if this was all true. Jane didn’t utter a word. I told her before we were brought into the principals office that she has to tell the truth so I don’t get suspend for a month because that was gonna be my next incident punishment. She said that she would but now she didn’t say a thing or make a gesture or anything. I felt terrified as I began to hear ass hat getting ready to yell at me for my “violent behaviour” and all that bullshit. I haven’t been able to trust anyone with serious information ever since. Eventually my grandparents from down in Florida heard about this and took both schools to court and wiped the floor with them. My grandparents got 100K out of them. My grandparents then gave my mother and father 90K. Had 9.5K put into my college/ university account and gave me (at the time 13) $500. I spent about $200 on two legos sets and keep the rest for when there’s something big I want like a super good headset or something. I also plan on keep 1 dollar and calling it my “justice dollar” to resemble how my grandparents (lawyers and all) made them pay for the heinous crimes they allowed to happen at the schools. Just to answer any questions some of you might have. Jane and I are no longer friends however she is genuinely trying to make up for it so I may forgive her in the near future. The schools have new staff all around and those staff (from what I can tell) are making sure that proper justice is served. I am seeing group therapy to help me with trusting others. I also see individual therapy for things that I will save for a later time but don’t worry I’m fine. The two Lego sets are an imperial AT-AT (giant walking machine from the older star wars movies. Specifically used on hoth). And a first order star destroyer (the giant triangle spaceships in the newer movies). And the last question I can think of: my dogs name in the profile picture is coco. She’s a rescue from an abusive couple and she about 14-15 human years old (I think). Holy shit you read this far? Here have a cookie 🍪 you’ve earned it.
thanks for the cookie. im sorry you had to go through this, but im glad its over! i hope you feel better now, and never give up man! stay strong and know that theres always people that care for you, even I, a stranger on the internet, do care for you. also your dog is so cute!
@@Infact77 coco appreciates your compliment. I am getting better and maybe I’ll be “normal” again soon (like 3-4 more years). Have a good day/night. And if you celebrate it then merry Christmas.
@@michaelb.3006 aww, may she rest in peace 🙏, im glad she passed away happy, may she have all the treats she wants in dog heaven! hope you're doing well man
#4 is 100% of the reason that I am here today on this journey. I finally found the one person that stuck around when I began to pull away and wants to use it as a way for both of us to grow instead of just discarding me like everyone else.
“A good human being, a fulfilled human being doesn’t need to break anyone down. All they do is wanna lift you up. If there’s anybody you meet that calls you out of your name, bullies you, messes you up or doesn’t make you feel lifted, they are dealing with something deep-rooted.” -David Goggins
Thank you very much for this video. It’s exactly what I needed to see as I’ve been beating myself up for months. I can’t figure out why I went to be alone even though it doesn’t make me happy. I want to be with my friends and family but I feel disgusting and I keep self sabotaging
All of these. It caused me to develop Borderline Personality Disorder. I both repress and explode emotionally. I also withdraw, look for the inevitable trouble, fear becoming happy because it will end, and sometimes push so hard to keep a relationship that I push them away. CPTSD really sucks.
My advice would be don't resort to too much self pity after watching this. Just take the actions you can improve onto your hands. It's just too much if you blame something for everything that happened in your life. It is liberating to know but doesn't seem helpful in the long run. Long story short "move on as much as you can".
I’ve been going through some stuff regarding a previous loved one, and to this point I’ve chalked up the pain I’ve continuously felt as just simple heartbreak. Looking back, after the manipulation, lying, the degrading and damage, I guess I never really considered that what I was experiencing was Trauma. This put that in a new perspective for me, so thank you
My friend has been jokingly telling me I have PTSD and this year as I went for a medical check it turned out I actually do. Oddly enough it came from the aftermath of my parents divorce, how my mom treated and blamed me, how I lost any physical and emotional attachment to people as a toddler since no one spent time with me as she became heavily addicted to alcohol. Games became my coping mechanism thus I lost all connections in real world yet I never thought it was because of such simple thing as parents divorce
I've been struggling with my trauma since I was a child. I was never allowed to have friends, and my family was never really there for me, so now, as an adult, it's constantly there and I'm always quick to blame myself and push people away. Just today, I withdrew from a friend who probably knows me better than my parents. They were the first friend I've ever had, but I got so scared and was constantly emotional, and I thought they hated me for it, so I turned away. This video... helped. It helped me understand that this will be normal while I cope with the pain inside. I only hope my friend will forgive my actions and be patient with me.
+Psych2go *Thanks for the checklist of seven symptoms:* 0:42 (1) Automatic assumption of worst case 1:12 (2) Lack of trust for others *Side note:* Professrix Gibson, Personal Development School LLC, has observed this lack of trust firsthand as a symptom of an Avoidant Attachment personality, dismissive to fearful. 1:42 (3) Frequent withdrawal from society 2:17 (4) Relational self-sabotage 2:53 (5) Unhealtful coping mechanisms 3:32 (6) Emotional repression *Side note:* A subset of the autistic are a false positive due to athumia, a condition of neurological lack of emotion. 4:04 (7) Emotional uncontrollability
I'm so angry with this development counselor at my previous job saying "if it was traumatic, it would be a matter of life and death!" As if he knew what was going on in me! 😡 And trauma is not limited to life and death situations, is it?
@Jake Hollow I think people equating ‘simple words’ with life or death situations or losing loved ones is why people sometimes have a hard time taking it seriously when someone claims to have a ‘trauma’ , especially when they’re using it as an excuse. Sorry but no, someone calling you a playground insult isn’t a ‘trauma’ .
@Jake Hollow I guess it depends on the situation. I feel like in most cases where ‘words’ would be traumatic, it was actually the other kinds of abvs3 that went with it, not the ‘words’ . What’s considered ‘aggressive’ or ‘degrading’ is also somewhat subjective, therefore people could claim that ‘trauma’ out of practically anything. I understand what you’re saying, but I also think a lot of people nowadays are becoming a bit too fragile nowadays. I guess they don’t teach kids ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me’ anymore.
I understand that my actions have consequences, I am ultimately responsible for how I act in the world, but on the flip side the trauma that you endure as a child will ultimately shape how you perceive the world as you grow up. I blame no one for where I am today, but acknowledge everything that it took to get me to this point.
I love and appreciate this video so much. My trauma disorder diagnosis was such an eye opener for me, and I’m a much happier, positive, stronger person now because of it.
As a person who has struggled with most of these and has suffered severe bullying and harassment, most people with any sort of mental health problems are COMPLETELY aware that something is wrong, we just hide it because succumbing to the fact that something is wrong is scary.
i always had trouble to control my emotions, so as a little kid i was taught to first think, and then feel. But now i have trouble having emotions; for example, i never cry, i dont understand love, and when i have friends i first overshare and then push them away. This channel has been really helpful for me, and this video might be one of the best. Thank you, and please keep making videos.
I often forget the Trauma’s I carry. I don’t like cut myself slack, I hate myself beyond compare… but I hate how I easily get angry and can’t control my tears. If I get emotionally hurt, I shed a tear or two but then it dries up and I’m left empty. I want to say I don’t believe in the trauma I have but then I would be making light of other people who share the same trauma. Constant fighting between parents, bullying, being cheated on, and being made the “bad guy” because a girl said you did something you didn’t do. These are things from my past but.. I don’t know..
(EDIT: Removing the bad person bit cause people don't understand that I'm trying to fucking comfort ppl :D) It's alright to let it out. I can't imagine going through trauma, let alone what others are going through. Just know that, if you open up, it'll be okay. Maybe not perfect, and maybe not straight away, but it's going to help you. 💙
" -- ow " I could relate to that. Not in the sense of self-sabotage though. I have a lot of grief and trauma for which I haven't yet found enough understanding outside myself. Amanda, nice to see you. Keep that open heart.
I cried a lot when I was a kid. Mom was too invested in my brothers and ignorant of my feelings. She always forced me to forgive my brother's mistakes and turned blind when they did me wrong. As a result, it becomes hard for me to understand boundaries. Sometimes I push my friends too much (unknowingly) and allow people to take advantage of me. Now, it is so hard to socialize or function properly. Mom and brother still want to sabotage me and keep interfering with my life. They hurt my self-esteem by saying awful stuff, such as, I don't deserve it or that I am supposed to feel content with my ordinary, nothing special life. I am on the verge of a mental breakdown and am going to seek professional help. I enrolled in the Vipassana class, which will start in mid-February. Wish me luck! I hope you all also find your cure.
Hi Amanda! Good to see your face. You have the perfect voice for this job. Thank you to you and everyone who works on these videos. You’re doing great work. ❤️
Well I feel called out. 😂 (that’s just my nervous laughing.) But seriously, alternating between number six and number seven is probably one of the more painful aspects I recently learned from my psychologist about hypoarousal, and the concept of window of tolerance. That would be an awesome topic for a video in relation to trauma.
Recently, I realized that I can no longer remember something bad that happens/something bad that someone said to me, even if it was said/happened a second ago. No matter how hard I try to try to remember, I just can't. It's as if my mind refuses to accept something that could negatively affect my mental health.... 🇧🇷~
Wow, this actually spoke to me so much I'm crying... I've been through a lot in my life and this video summed up a lot of my emotions and behaviors toward myself and others. Trauma is tricky and very overwhelming and I wish more people understood why I do the things I do... daaang...
My traumatic experience was getting rejected and left by a girl that I loved and cared for so much, and it was my fault because I became too overprotective for her and she didn’t feel the same way about me. It lasted for about five years before she left, and I’ve felt like I hate myself and punish myself emotionally and physically for the past year and a half since then. The only reason I fell in love with her was because she showed me friendship in a way I hadn’t experienced before. I can still feel when she gave me hug inside my head. Even after I ruined my connection with her, she still tried to be there for me when I needed her. She taught me that friendships aren’t perfect. I always have and always will miss her.
Your not alone I went through this type of experience myself except I got left by a good friend I thought he was the one him and I were together for 8 years and now instead of being together we became a apart it’s really hard losing someone you love who you thought was the one it deeply hurts so I know your pain 😢
I'm crying just watching this. I'm afraid to get married because my father left us for another woman. My mother raised me and my siblings all by herself. Then, my 4 year boyfriend cheated, I stayed in the relationship for another year hoping things will get better and I'm able to forgive, unfortunately, I was traumatized again and broke off our relationship. It's been almost 4 years since we broke up and he's still trying to get back with me, but my trauma is just too great to be in any relationship again, so I'm always running away from him, I'm afraid to experience a broken family again. I'm struggling so bad. He was my first and last relationship.
