Who's currently feeling burnt out lately? Previously, we also made a video on the common things that could leave you emotionally exhausted: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-tVhEz_jceuU.html
@@sigmasiren7 With me it my grandmother, she and I have very strong personalities compared to my family. I live with her and have no way of leaving for three years.
I just relised that my symptoms of drowsiness, constantly sleeping imminently when i get home, the dread of seeing her, constantly having to let out steam, goes away when she is not home. I feel bad, she my grandmother but mentally i just handle it
Same here. What's the solution now tell me?? It's my boyfriend. He loves me so much. Even me. But I feel body symptoms around him. My heart burns my arms started getting pain. What shall I do?? How can I stay whole my life with him???
I have a friend that is depressed I’ve been dealing with this for years. I want to help her (even if it’s just listening and talking to her) and I’m genuinely scared for her. But sometimes, it’s draining being around her. It’s gotten to a point where a lot of the negativity has rubbed off on me and it’s affected me socially. I often leave our conversations feeling hopeless and walking on eggshells. I think it might be time for a break. If anyone is going through a similar experience, I hope you’re doing ok and understand that you don’t have to carry all that weight. Take a break and take care of yourself first
I'm going thru the same thing rn, and its so draining, I genuinely love and care for her, but she makes me feel like shit most of the time, and after I interact with her I just feel so drained and lost. I don't even know what to do, she doesn't understand I'm a person too.
@@laiculture162 I think it's definitely time to take a break. Sometimes you have to put yourself first and you'll find yourself being much happier in the long run.
i realized that i drained someone mentally... i took notice of it myself and it really hurt when i saw them struggling because im incredibly selfless and i hate to see others hurting- i decided to leave them because they needed the space... i miss them every day ): for context, he was an amazing person i had met online... we were basically platonic soulmates (i believe at least)- they were the only person i trust, so i unknowingly dumped all my problems on them- i noticed that i was draining them because at some point, they were really apathetic about my issues... i should have realized what i was doing- a friend is not your therapist... yes venting is nice, but you cant expect them to help you with everything- dont become too dependent on others i wish i had realized what i did sooner
Energy vampires are people who - sometimes intentionally - drain your emotional energy. They feed on your willingness to listen and care for them, leaving you exhausted and overwhelmed. Energy vampires can be anywhere and anyone.👍
Sometimes also called people with narcisstic traits or even full-fledged narcissist (ofc it doesn’t have to be ppl with mental illnesses allthetime, but-and this is a huge but- it’s not so uncommon as it seemed!) I’m recently out of a relationship with a narcissist. (Already feeling more at ease and peace with myself) But it wasn’t as easy as it sounds + is still weird sometimes. Wish you all good luck on your discovery-journey !! 🍀💚
@@RAH_BLISS yeah, One of my friends is a clingy friend, She never leaves me alone, She always made the rules and I had to always follow what she said, and she sometimes talks rudely. We met 1 year ago until now she still can't let me be alone, She made my head hurt, like the time when I was just wanting to play with my sister, she suddenly joined in and told my sister, that she knows all about me, And like she's my only close friend, well for me she's not, Not at all, she doesn't know anything about me, and I have to pretend, because she's actually a good friend, its just that she doesn't match my feelings, And if I were to tell the truth, it would offend her 😕 and now I still haven't replied to her text from 2 days ago
If you were that person that drained people then you wouldnt have the idea to avoid people. I know draining people and you are not on of them if you literally avoid people
This is exactly how I felt with my ex-best friend years ago. I felt extremely anxious every time she texted me, or I was very upset every time I returned home after meeting with her because it were unpleasant interactions. She was my only close friend at the time, and we had a good friendship for years, so I felt guilty and hopeless. I thought I had to let it pass by and ignore my feelings because I thought she didn't deserve it. Then I realized that the only way to heal myself was to cut her out of my life. Sometimes I miss her, but I don't miss her negativity and how she made me feel. I prioritized my mental health, and it was the best decision.
i wanna know how u felt when u did this i’ve a similar situation but my bsf is so attached to me to the point it put me in stress and im very worried to take that step and break her heart or smh…. it feels weird to vent to a comment written 2y ago hope u good thoo!!!
@@salmaossama1314 Hi! It was heartbreaking for me and for her. It felt worse than breaking up with a significant other. She tried to keep contact but I cut her off for my mental health. Now we text to say Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas. We kind of care for each other but it's not worth it to be in each other's lives. It hurt, but we eventually moved on.
allow me to say that this is one of the bravest action to do towards such a friendship i hope i can do the same and remain as brave as you …thx for ur reply i really appreciate and if i may ask do u think its a good move as i described my friendship in the comment?
@@salmaossama1314 Hi! If the problem it's that your bsf is clingy and attached, try to talk to her first and try to put some boundaries. If you care about the relationship, maybe you can make some space but still be friends. In my case, I was extreme because the situation was very bad. All was about her, her needs, her wants, her problems... The breaking point was when I confessed her I might be depressed (it took much bravery from me to admit I had a problem) and she told me that her problems were worse (they were different, not better or worse), and undermined my feelings. Moving forward, I did therapy and the therapist made me see that ending the relationship was the best option for my wellbeing at that moment, as I was actually pretty depressed at the time and she actually made it worse.
@@itsanna5 well first of all thank u smmmmmmmm for the reply like srs ur the best , and i will try ur advice and i hope it works well as i really care about her and i hope your depression is healed by now too
7 warning signs someone is draining you 1. You dread interacting with them | 1:01 2. You feel uneasy around them | 1:39 3. You often ignore their calls and texts | 2:12 4. You've started avoiding them | 2:44 5. You need to unwind after talking to them | 3:14 6. You need to vent to someone about them | 3:52 7. You experience physical symptoms | 4:42 I want to wish everyone a nice day/night, stay hydrated and please make sure to take care of yourselves properly!
Wow I'm so glad I don't actually see her anymore, she would always be in drama. One of her other friends started showing a new student around and she got jealous, so jealous she found the new students number and was harassing her
A big clue for me that I was being drained by a certain person was I started feeling dread when the telephone rang, then if somebody else's name came up on caller ID, I would feel a huge sense of relief. I realised that none of the other people I knew made me feel that way.
I think the hardest part of this is realizing it’s someone you love so much and means so much to you but having to accept that even tho they may be the sweetest and most caring person you know, you have to absolutely put your mental health first and let them go 😞😔
That’s good, and please dont lie to their face about things too, especially if its a compliment or to make them feel better, and also your opinion on them, it can leave more damage on them than you think.
Even if it's a niece who looks to you? She's also has autism & mood swings I feel bad but I'm also caring for a I'll parent who can no longer care for themselves someone please help with good advice it's taking a toll on me & my only child's relationship my mind & body is breaking!!!
I thought I was a bad person for experiencing this around my parents but seeing I'm not alone in this makes me feel so much better. Thank you all and I hope things will get better for all of us 🥺
If your energy is drained your intuition is telling you to put up boundaries. Those boundaries may be internal or external. It could be as simple as “remember that persons words can’t hurt you. Remember they’re projecting on you” or even telling them you can’t be friends or boyfriend/girlfriend anymore
I felt this with my best friend of 10years. I just ended our relationship, I could no longer go on. I finally was able to voice how draining our friendship has been. Of course it’s not the easiest thing to do but I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders.
i feel this with my best friend of 3 years. Especially since she is now in a relationship with my brother who i cannot stand. But she will one day be my sister in law and… she constantly ignores me when we are on call bcos she will be texting my brother. I cant vent to her anymore. Cant trust her to keep things to herself anymore. Idk how to end this friendship, since it seems impossible now.
its the worst when that someone is in my class and in love with me. he makes me so uncomfortable, so after all the stress, i pulled myself together, told him i dont wanna talk to him again and blocked his number. im so glad that we only have zoom classes for now, because seeing him in person makes me uneasy
Can u tell me what he did to u??i feel uncomfortable with a guy in my class who likes me too but im afraid he hasnt done anything to me for me to blatantly reject him
@@himesama6822 we were friends at the beginning, and we hung out in break with other friends and some day i realized that hes always getting closer to me and followed me around, like he wouldnt stop walking next to me and didnt give me space. and he hugged me many times, when i said i dont like skinship. after some time it made me panic that i cried in class, and from that day on, ive blocked him because i couldnt concentrate properly. its a lot. and even if you think the person didnt do anything wrong to you, if you feel uncomfortable around them, thats a big sign. trust me, going through that stress is not fun, so i hope itll get better for you 💕
@@itskingnamjoonnotkimnamjoon94 omg girl, i’m glad online classes exist for you now. if you said no, and he didnt respect that, he’s being such a creep. i’ve had a similar experience as you and i kept hiding behind my best friend every time i saw that dude. he wasnt afraid of approaching me, i was. but im glad im away from that school😌
As I've gotten older, I've become less & less tolerant of people who drain me of my energy, whether at work or in society as a whole. I don't feel the need to be 'nice all the time' because that's a magnet for toxic, draining people. I've blocked lots of contacts on my fone, began saying "No" instead of 'sorry, but' because toxic people will wear me down with their insistence. In order to take care of myself, I need to shut certain people out.
I don’t know if it’s my introversion being so extreme, anxiety, or I’ve just been around draining people my entire life (or all three), because I can pinpoint multiple people throughout my life that fit two or more things on this list (including family)
I can relate to that completely. My energy for mundane ( but necessary) tasks is dropping. Still I feel guilty if I don’t adhere to standards I previously set for myself.
i once had a friend that is very emotionally unstable, she would be either very energetic or she could be overthinking and asking me tons of questions to reassure her. it’s been years and i realised i’m not the only one getting emotionally drained by her. its kind of sad that she calls me ‘best friend’ but tbh i never felt that deep with her. i was like walking on egg shells when i’m with her although she said sorry everytime after her ‘tantrum’. but i felt really great letting her go since lockdown (which is one of the excuses i made not to meet up with her) i felt sad for her but we really aren’t ‘meant to be’ good friends. it’s great that i put my mental health first.
The last part really really made me feel relieved... Two years ago I was at my lowest point due to a friend. I cried almost every single night, and when term break started I constantly worry about their life. It took me a while to reevaluate and decided to step back :') I am happier now; happiest than I've ever been in my life. I hope for people who read this to care for themselves too and I wanna say that it's okay to choose your own happiness and mental health over theirs ✨ You matter too
Thank you for that, it's been a year since I've talked about it with my friend. We don't talk a lot now and I took my time to improve and have peace with myself. Sometimes I still worry and feel that it's my fault that we ended up this way. Everytime I feel that, I try to remind myself if I didn't communicate with my friend how I felt in our friendship, I'd probably be more drained and be stressed out in the situation in the long run:")) So to anyone out there who may feel this way, know that you are not alone in this. Take time for yourself and be there for yourself too! 💕
The things is that my Best friend is going through depression, she almos comited suicide. I’m constantly worried and live with fear, I'm afraid that if I’m not on time I might lose her. Sadly everytime I hear a notification my hands shake or my heart starts beating really fast. I don’t even enjoy talking to her that much anymore, I’m afraid I’ll say something and hurt her. I tried making feel better to convince her to wait for help, and she has it now, but nothing seems to get better. I don’t want to feel anxious anymore, sometimes I can’t even sleep. I want help too. Or maybe I’m just overreacting, it’s just that it hurts so much. Thank you for listening to me
I understand. I've been through that and im so sorry because no one should go through this. If it helps just know that i understand exactly what you're going through because im going through this too. If you can try to distance yourself or maybe do something that'll get ur mind off things. Its hard but im with you♥️
It’s not that you’re a burden, it's just that it pains seeing you suffer and not being able to help. I hope you feel better soon. These is a great community to express your feelings ❤️
I have a friend who was struggling with their sexuality and was also depressed. It’s an awful feeling but in the end as much as they might not like it you should always ask when they’re feeling comfortable around you because now that my friend is much healthier she actually is really thankful I did. Not everyone is like her, but never feel guilty for caring about someone who is suffering with depression-even if they don’t want that care.
7 warning signs someone is draining you 1. You dread interacting them 2. You feel uneasy around them 3. You often ignore their calls and text 4. You started avoiding them 5. You need to unwind after talking to them 6. You need to vent to someone about them 7. You experience physical symptoms
Tip #8: Are you afraid to share this video because you might trigger some negative response in the other person and only create more and more anxiety for yourself?
I have a friend, who I feel every single one of these with I feel awful about it Because I've known them for years I'm not sure how many times I've woken up, checked my phone, and panicked because I thought they killed themselves ( they would text me stuff like, "goodbye, I love you", and, "dont miss me too much." ) And everytime i hang out with them I feel exhausted I make excuses up, so I dont have to hang out with them ( and when it comes to texting as well- ) Because it just Drains me They've told me that I'm their best friend And I know that they're going through an awful time And that I'm all they really have left as a close friend And I'm so worried about them all the time But I'm exhausted because of it :') It's like the song, Mr. Blue The end song in BoJack horseman I really want to be that way with them Edit; These replies are stuff I really needed to hear rn :') Editing once again: I've gotten better, I've stopped talking to them, and now I've felt more like a person, instead of a crutch. It gets better, I promise ❤️
It's really great what you already do to them, but remember: you are not their mother. You are not responsible for them. Maybe you could slightly suggest that they talk to a therapist, find a new religion or talk about it with their parents. Don't exaust yourself carrying all the burdens of others. You already do a lot. If you want to help other, first, you need to be well and fresh. Hope you the best 🙏🏼
Hi dear, I feel you... They threaten you and abuse you. You're great - too good for these guys. Please: block them and don't meet again! They will survive and find another victim to suck out. Care for yourself and kick these guys out of your life. You deserve better ❤️🤗🤗🍀
OML DO WE HAVE THE SAME FRIEND?? She doesn't text me stuff like 'goodbye, don't miss me too much' but I could definitely see her doing that in the near future. However, she does always ask me how I'd feel if she killed herself and talk about how she's going to do it in very gruesome and graphic descriptions. She also asks how I'd feel if she cut herself right now, or self-harmed in any way. She has depression, but I feel like she's using her diagnosis to manipulate me into doing things I don't want to do and saying things I don't want to say, like 'if you don't do it I'll cut myself' or 'please do it, you want me to be happy, don't you?'. I've also had to talk her out of self-harming and talk to her through her depressive states, and I did, but it left me so drained, which I normally wouldn't mind bc at least she feels better, but when I get sad or upset she just says 'oof' and moves on. Whenever I need a serious conversation she always starts making jokes. It's like she thinks of me as a free therapist and someone she can manipulate into doing things that make me uncomfy for her own pleasure. She also makes jokes I don't like at my expense, and she knows they upset me, but it 'makes her happy' so it makes me feel guilty whenever I ask for her to stop. It's seriously draining ://
*I can't even read the rest of this bc it's draining. So just cut them off already. If you can't see that they are draining you- and sucking you drryyy...I don't know what to tell you. It's vital that you cut them off & SAVE YOURSELF; THAT WOULD BE AN ACT OF SELF LOVE~REAL SELF ❤ *SELF AWARENESS! NARCISSISTIC ABUSE/ TRAITS/ BEHAVIORS; END OLD CYCLES; **#MindGames** **#MindPhuckery** **#iDeserveBetter** **#iAmWorthy** **#EnergyVampires* #HealthyBoundaries #iChoose2Live
@@solseclipse THATS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL THE "FREE THERAPIST" REALLY HITS DIFFERENT WHEN YOU GET IT- Your "friend" definitely seems SO much worse than mine That just seems straight up toxic Though I understand that it's hard to cut those people out, I'm struggling to do that myself rn My friend just says things like "Hahaha... cant find my sharp object.." Or "I'm sorry I'm such a burden to you, you can go back to ignoring me, I'm a piece of shit" And then I have to be y'know, the free therapist It's so draining :') Why can't these people see what they're doing to others hhh
"While it may seem difficult to let go of someone you care about especially if theyre really going through a really tough time right now and you feel obligated to be there for them. Try to remember that your mental health comes first" man this speaks volume to me. its hard to confront someone you care about and did nothing bad to you about how you drain them )):
Uhm kinda how I feel, literally every time she calls me from downstairs, I feel like I did something wrong but she just ends up telling me to take the dogs out, but I’m still scared I did something wrong
I have a friend like this. Last year they dumped all their problems on me and some of their other friends. We had group chats to talk in just about them...we didn't want anything bad to happen to them. I had to stay up late to text them, and be there for them every time they got upset which started to happen daily. They obsessed over a person and talked about them constantly. Eventually I realised how much it was affecting me, and slowly started to let go of them. I've grown apart from them over the last few months and my mental health has been much better. I feel bad sometimes for ignoring them, but I know that I didn't have a choice, they were too much for me
I'm an introvert (who is admittedly pretty energetic and emotional around people) and it's really common for me to feel this way because of my extroverted friends because they wanna be social and I just wanna spend time in my room sleeping and playing animal crossing :/
This is exactly the confirmation I needed to understand some of tension in my household. After a vacation that was supposed to be relaxing, I came back more anxious and feeling horrible constantly. I finally hit a point where I realized it was my own mother causing so much emotional drain. I love her dearly, but it's harder and harder to spend quality time and listen to her. Unfortunately I'm stuck living with her until I can finally figure out a roommate situation since living on my own doesn't feel like a valid option.
Yes my mother in law..she was abandoned by her mother as a child so she goes dumping her stress and abandonment issues on everyone by emotionally manipulating in a negative critical way
It’s probably all negative around me, and all people that I hang around with,I Force myself to be happy when I’m really depressed and I just wanna be alone
@@randomactsofhugs Yeah I know i should, but i keep fearing that i will hurt them even more, and I know thats my fault. Thank you for the message though!
I have this online friend who I do get along with well, but apparently so many bad, negative things seem to happen to them in a daily and they dump them on me as if I'm supposed to magically make them disappear. I have my own problems, and always having to brace myself for more of their "terrible life" just makes me so anxious and helpless. I do want to help them, it's just hard to when they keep pushing negativity and denying my motivational words of comfort. I don't want to break our friendship, but at the same time I cannot handle the daily anxiety and heartbreak I get. Should I just tell them how their "daily troubles" (because I don't know if they're true) make me feel. I don't know
it was gut-wrenching when i had to leave an online friend who was exactly like that, telling them how they made me feel made them defensive and try to one-up my feelings with their troubles after i let them go, i slowly started feeling safer and had more time and energy to work on my own troubles maybe your online friend would be receptive to hearing your feelings and genuinely sorry, but if they don't listen to you and/or don't change, cutting them off from their sympathy supply is the next step
Wow, what perfect timing, thank you for this video. I just severed a friendship with someone who had borderline personality disorder yesterday, I experienced all of these signs for the past year with them and I finally had to draw a line for myself. My birthday is tomorrow and I felt like my greatest gift to myself was to leave. I want to move ahead from this and become strong again.
I have friends that I eventually just avoid as I noticed I got upset about their throw away comments and feeling like I'm being too sensitive around them. I don't like myself when I'm around them so gradually lessened contact. It's a much healthier place to be
I can’t believe I actually found a video that’s been describing my life with my best friend of almost 8 years without me even knowing it. I always feel like the worst friend whenever I don’t want to be around her and I feel like it’s always my fault that I feel uncomfortable around her. She makes a lot of drama and trouble with my other friends and whenever she speaks to me, it’s either about her problems she created or the problems she has with someone else. I always vent to the people closest to me and not her because whenever I tried to speak to *her* about it, she assumed I didn’t want to be her friend anymore and we had a not-so-well conversation about it. I always feel tired or sometimes even angry after speaking to her, even in the morning after a full night of rest. Not only that, but I’m more of an easy-going person and she’s way more of an extrovert, so whenever we hangout, she calls me boring because I don’t really know what to do or I don’t want to go somewhere. Don’t know how to tell her this thought and I’m scared to.
You don’t have to burn the bridge, especially if there are things you enjoy about being her friend. Sometimes you have to walk across that metaphorical bridge without looking back, though. You can still hang out with her, but you should try to start doing some new things with new people for you! Maybe it’s volunteer work (when you help someone, you help yourself too), maybe it’s a new hobby/sport, maybe it’s new friends… just try to remove yourself from the responsibility of being her go-to person. If you don’t have great power, how are you supposed to have that great responsibility?
1)You dread interacting with them. 2)You feel uneasy around them. 3)You often ignore their calls and texts. 4)You have started avoiding them. 5)You need to unwind after talking to them. 6)You need to vent to someone about them. 7)You experience physical symptoms.
I let go of a “friend” I had become super close with. She is a sweet person and cares a lot about people. She did a lot for me- which I never asked for. I was always grateful for her generosity. Whenever this “friend” asked for a favor or to hang out with her, even thought I was too tired, i felt force to say yes because of all that this person had done for me. When I did started saying that I was too busy, she will made a way to still meet up. All I wanted was to have me-time on my days off and relax. As an adult I should of set boundaries. I introduced her to a couple of friends who she loved, and she then started bringing them flowers and gifts. Felt like she was trying too hard to be “like.” I eventually became mentally drained by her presence. I also started feeling some weird tension. We were no longer matching energies. I felt like I outgrew her or that she was not the person I was friends with. I told her I needed some time for myself. The day I stopped talking to her, I didn’t missed her -I felt happy.
Im so sorry, you should probably try to let this “friend” go... I don’t know how tough that will be Bc I’ve never been though this... but I know it’s not gonna be easy. Especially since they use emotional manipulation to make you do what they want. You need to put yourself first! ❤️
I can't sleep cause something's bothering me. Opened my phone then saw this notification. Life can be playful sometimes and that's what makes me live more despite having hard times on life 💙
I was so happy and energetic at the beginning of this pandemic because I thought that I didn’t have to interact with them....until they make it a priority to CALL ME EVERY SINGLE DAY AT THE SAME TIME AND SEND ME THE SAME EXACT MESSAGES AT THE SAME TIME EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
"you may not be able to deal with me at my worst, but i have to deal with myself at my worst - and that makes me stronger than you." psych2go can preach toxic positivity all they want, but telling people they're "draining" or "too much" can be very damaging, especially when they're trying their absolute hardest to be the opposite. if they're emotionally abusive, that's one thing, but if they're trying hard to be a good person and fix those toxic habits, preaching stuff like this can make them feel like they're back to square one.
I feel like shit and hella scared thinking of leaving the person. I love the person so much that I endure hurting myself in the process of helping them. I know the person is struggling so much in life that I want to always be there for them but every conversation I have with them always takes a toll on me, so much so that I end up in the blues for the whole day requiring to listen to motivational songs, taking slow depressing walks, and filling my energy back up just to end up repeating the cycle all over again. I'm too scared to say anything to them that I always keep faking my smile, my voice and my mood whenever they're around. I always put 101% effort in reassuring them that they're gonna be okay for a price of damaging myself in the process.
One of my ex’s made me feel this way, he wasn’t abusive or anything he was just too clingy and kind of pushed my boundaries in a bad way. I always felt like I needed to Puke when I got texts from him and I’d get close to having panic attacks.
This was a very much needed video for me. I try to keep my head up in as many possible ways I can, when I get through something like this, without venting or complaining it to someone else, but at times, it's really exhausting. I cannot seem to find a place to communicate normally with the person. Indirect guilt trip, making me suffocate with showed-off love, feeling sorry and buying me expensive gifts just after a kind deed to compensate the time and comfort, to make up for the guilt that the person's having, it's all taking a little too much of my sanity. I talk because I like to spend time with my friend, I want them to recover, get happy and stable. It's not a favor that should be obligated to return in terms of gifts or lovely messages. I don't even know if I'm being the bad one here. But the person is in a emotionally volatile stage and needs support, I've given more than 4 years of support and constant time, even when my finals were there, even when they refused therapy, made terrible decisions about their life even after knowing the consequences, I'm not saying I shouldn't have done those or that I have done anything great. I did what a friend would do. It's the bare minimum, and I'm not even proud. I feel extremely suffocated and guilty when they shower their love for me "occasionally" but disregard and laugh away my problem or any other one's. From serious to little problem without trying to understand them, without keeping an open mind, but when it's their random problem, crying goes on for hours, I cannot help but feel hurt and think that the person is hurting too. Even when it's their fault, they're reluctant to admit and move on. It's okay to mess up sometimes, it's okay to not do the right thing all the time, even when we're adults, we have a long way to go. Even after all of this, we must face ourselves and move on. Refusing to face holding on to the past like it's a sticky note on your forehead, that can't be removed - would get you nowhere. It's okay to make mistakes, you still deserve love. I hope people understood however that a friend cannot be their therapist and best friend at the same time, occupying all of the time of a person who's struggling on their own is a little too much to ask for. They need to acknowledge someone can be a "good" friend without sacrificing their whole world for them. It's not either all in or all hatred. I'm sorry for the random vent, I don't usually vent to my friends or anyone else, it's so not okay for me. Still felt like writing after watching this video.
I totally get where you are coming from in your writing this. Maybe just be supportive of your friend but from a distance or if you live nearby just be there for them part-time, but remain supportive and "listen" to their concerns without getting into any argument(s). Arguing with someone is simply a waste of energy and creates bad emotions and feelings in yourself to become a happy and positive person going forward. Can anyone actually remember in detail an argument they had with an individual 5, 10, 20, or 30 years ago let alone last month over something. Generally when enough time has past people then to forget what they were exactly arguing about or come to realize how pity or meaningless the argument was. Forgetting the argument(s) is all part of the healing and recovery process. And try not to bring up the negative past just to re-open old wounds. Nobody deserves that. How can we move forward together in more positive ways, if one or the other or both continue bringing up the past and re-opening old wounds. The past is the past, so "let it go". In most cases we tend to hang onto co-dependent relationships because it feels more comfortable for us to think we will not lose a person or friendship with someone who depends on us a lot verse being with someone who is emotionally strong and independent in their lives for fear that someone they will walk away from us and "move on"...that's what scares us the most when being with a mentally and physically strong person...the fear of abandonment.
Currently I'm being burnt out by my dad. He makes a big deal when I cook. ANYTHING. AT ALL. When I cook just for him, he says "Don't cook just for me." Okay...so I cook for myself. He says "Why didn't you cook me anything?" Okay....so I cook for the both of us. He says. "Why did you cook something like this? I could have fixed me something." So for months I've been on strike from cooking anything and only cook at night when he's sleeping, just so I can avoid this neverending cycle.
My dad judges me for everything i do :/ If i don't clean my room/clean the house/don't put something to its place, always says how im a disgrace and i won't be able to do anything in life bc im not taking any responsibilities and compares to me to so many people and when i ask him why does he do that he says he's doing that cuz he wants to give me a lesson and teaching me "to take responsibility"
@@anjana2936 i live with my sister, i cant leave either as i have no where to go. She has all these traits. I get so emotionally drained. Wish i could just up and leave.
I have this friend that's been really toxic and draining to me since last year. I remember crying every Sunday night because I DREADED seeing him every single day of the week and having to listen to him roasting, toying and criticizing me. The same holds up for today, even after I told him I didn't like the way he teased me, I still feel drained and anxious every time I see his name on my contact list
This is making me cry because I realize now I’ve allowed someone to bring me down and deplete my energy on an emotional and mental level that I’m starting to feel physically 😔
1.- You dread interacting with them (1:03) 2.- you feel uneasy around them (1:39) 3.- you often ignore your calls and texts (2:13) 4.- You start avoiding them (2:45) 5.- You need to unwind after talking to them (3:16) 6.- You need to vent to someone about them (3:52) 7.- You experience physicals symptoms (4:42)
My "bestfriend" makes me drained she needs constant attention and if I don't give it to her then she will get angry and start saying she doesn't want to be friends and will block me if I don't spend time with her. It's really affecting my mental health and mood
Yep, I have this problem and I told the person who does that me and they didn't care. I mean they did but they only care for a second. They're a family member too, that's why I'm always so tired, upset, and many more emotions. But I care for them too much so I always pick up their calls and text back. It's like they're so oblivious that they don't even know if I'm tired and upset. So I have to *make* myself sound upset, sad, or tired. Before I met them I was always full of energy and now I'm always tired, I always vent to my friend but it doesn't really help. And I don't want to keep repeatedly telling them that I'm tired because they don't understand. So thank you for making this video, I'm showing them this video when I visit them 👏❤️ Thanks a lot, I'm happy you'd make a video about a problem that I have even though you don't know me. :) Bonus: I'm a little depressed because of them, one of their friends hurt my feelings and it it really made me feel worthless. I'm not saying this to get attention, I'm just saying this to let y'all know how my problem is. If you guys have the same problem where somebody drains your energy everyday then I'm so sorry to hear that and I know how you feel so please stay strong no matter what 🥺❤️🙏
I used to hate ghosting, but this year I definitely realized that ghosting is actually the most morally justifiable option for people like this. If someone who checks all this video’s boxes puts all their negative energy on you, you can bet that they do it with other people. It will be best if you talk to them less. It’s even harder when it’s someone you love, I know. Try and do new things by yourself (or with new people) so you don’t have to lie to them about being unable to talk. It’s not only you who needs a break from them, you probably need to find out more about yourself too! Hope you’re all good out there. And if you feel hopeless, just remember that THE ACTORS AND WRITERS ACTUALLY WON THE STRIKE THIS YEAR!!! WOOOOOOOOO
my question is how do you know it's real emotional drain or just an introvert being generally drained ? I guess the difference is how you feel about the interaction afterwords...if you'd happily do it again (after some time alone) versus dreading and avoiding it.
It depends if you are miserable or not, if you feel generally repulsed by them or not. You can be exhausted after interacting with a lot of people as an introvert, but you don't feel exhausted by just thinking of them at random days. It's like exercising: with good people you are exhausted but happy
It’s so hard when you have labeled each other as “best friends” for so long and when you’re close with there family and feel if you express how you feel there family will have a poor image of you. When I try distancing myself they just keep spamming my phone, our mutuals friends feel similar to how I feel. But I can’t break apart with them with the amount of circles we are in together.
This is how my dad's side of the family makes me feel. They're so l o u d and god, my aunt's such a gossiper. It's so exhausting to have to spend a weekend at my aunts house or spend too long around my dad.
Ugh, well that explains why I tend to ghost a lot people and end relationships. 😑Either I'm very independent and value my alone time very much, or people are just too clingy these days. I guess being single is the best way to go.
This is how I feel about a person at my job. I started saying hello at first just to be polite. Then began small talk. But now they seek me out when I’m supposed to be working and take up my time. At first I just thought they were just being friendly. But I don’t get work done because they don’t get the clues to leave. They started bringing in treats for me every day I work. I’ve told them that I don’t eat foods like that and they keep doing it. They then sneak into the break room when I’m on lunch break and want to share food. They also want to hug which always puts me on edge because a. they’re basically a stranger and b. I don’t like physics contact. They’re always talking badly about others at work. They also curse so much and make prejudiced comments that make me uncomfortable. I feel bad because others don’t like them at work and they might end up letting them go but I don’t know how to shake them off. It’s gotten to the point that I’m considering quitting my job even though I love my job. 😣
Today, my best friend.. whom I loved very dearly, just had enough of me- confronted me.. about how I was emotionally draining her, and ended it all with me.. watching this video makes me realize, that I was really.. just dumping all of my stuff on her- unknowingly.. and how she started to avoid me slowly- i saw how she dind't respond to me annoying her no more *which i do playfully* and how she sounded so exceptionally dry lately.. how i wish i could turn back time-.. as a person suffering from ASPD, she really added value to my life, more than I can imagine, and now... the only conclusion and answer i get out of all of this, is that I never make friends again in the future.. its best if I stay alone, lonely.. forever..
You know it when you know it. You feel it, when you feel bad around someone who should feel good around... BAD!!! Specially if it's only around them. And SPECIALLY if your physical health gets worse, DO NOT ignore this
I had to search for this.. I do understand that my mental health comes first but I feel bad for my friends as they often claim not to have any other friends apart from me and everyday they keep reminding me that I will start avoiding them too. I feel obliged but also anxious of how long this will go on
I have a friend like that who is constantly depressed and everything is always bad every time I ask....they use me as their crying pillow and don't seem to care about my feelings. I tried to help them, but just gave up, because it's like...they enjoy my attention and care and feel too comfortable to change anything. I care about them and I'm afraid of leaving them. For now I'll be trying to set more boundaries.....
It was similar or something that happened to me with my ex-best friend. She didn't talk about her feelings very openly, but she was not in her best mental shape. She always dragged me in her negativity. The day I told her I thought I was suffering from depression, she invalidated my feelings, saying hers were worst. That hurt like hell, and I realized that all they say in this video was happening to me. I cut her out of my life, and we have not talked since. I think she is doing fine without me now, and actually I think it was the best for both of us. I'm doing great and I think that ending that relationship is one of the best things I did. I think she learned not to be that clingy and needy, and hopefully she will not treat anyone else as she did with me. I really like your idea of setting boundaries. Tell her openly what you actually want for your relationship and encourage her to get help. And have in mind that, if it doesn't work out, you shouldn't feel guilty about ending a relationship with a toxic or draining person.
I just miss being alone...I go to school to _learn,_ not to make friends, but they already decided to be my friend...I can't abandon them, and I don't want to hurt their feelings, I just don't want to be around them anymore...Hopefully when summer break comes, I'll have the chance to cut them off...
I can think of several people: my family. 😭 Sidenote: I remember back when I was really angry at my father - I had to go to physical therapy around that same time - the PT once randomly asked me: Have you been angry lately? And that's when it hit me: I had an intense tendinitis in both my elbows where I couldn't even pull up my own pants without being in pain. I was in constant pain due to tension in my arms because I would unknowingly make a fist everytime I was talking or near my dad. I eventually let it go and that's when I started healing. Letting go is the hardest thing to do!
this is pretty relatable, especially when said person is a bully of yours who you VERY deliberately and intentionally avoid to try not to ruin your day, but somehow end up being near them anyways. this is coming straight from experience, today i had to be around that person at least 3 times.
Online school has been stressing me out. Same with my parents being in the house working from home, and the rest of my family having to do it too, there’s a lot of noise and stress attacking me. Thanks for these videos, it helps pin down how to stop getting overwhelmed.
Yeah. Being around my mother is ridiculously draining to the point I resent her more than liking her presence. It's so rare that she doesn't drain me that I can't remember one occasion that I wasn't feeling like the entire video.
I had an emotionally gaslighting friend that I tried avoiding. He would always join whatever I played and his excuse was that he was my best friend. I barely could go one day without him coming up and at that point I told him to stop. He did for a day so I told myself that I was gonna be done if he sees me again. He did. He said hi, how are you, help me do this, etc... I was drained so much by him, so I kept my own promise. I told em we aren't friends anymore, and then we became friends again. On November, I was done with him again. He kept draining me, gaslighting me, just waiting for something to go wrong. I was the prey and he was the predator. Me and him are friends now, and he joins me less. He still gets in my nerves.
I feel drained whenever I tried to help someone and that person did not show any effort to make themselves better... I don't mind doing some "weight lifting" myself but when the other person is virtually incompetent without a sign of improvement... That's....well, uh... another problem
Let's not forget some of these people that experience this are secretly jealous of the so called one that drains them. Why you ask? Cause they don't know how to express they're feelings and don't want to stop being your friend because they're worried about losing they're noble friendship persona. They try to look as positive at all cost even if it's making them sick to be around you.
I realized that I burnout my online boyfriend lots of times , listening to my concern which eventually lead him to take a break from social media. I wanted to make happy memories with him as we never fought before , just that we always talked about sad stuff concerning anxiety , depression and etc. I want him to feel comfortable around me again and also remember about happy memories in our relationship so I think I needed this along with some other videos too. This channel actually made me realized lots of times that I couldn't do it myself. So thank you.
It is an awful feeling to be drained from your energy. If you have been codependent probably lots of your relationships have been toxic and in the process of healing you feel that energy leak even more painfully.
i literally just cut someone off because of this. they drained me out so much. it definitely felt like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders, it was hard but i did it
These draining people are life's takers. They have selfish tendencies and poor self awareness, but they do know what they are doing. They often disrespect boundaries, impose themselves on kind people, force their way into others lives and simply take up people's time and energies with no regard. They choose their targets carefully and it is often the kind and considerate that end up being exploited through guilt. These people often learn that they won't be tolerated by many so they watch for those empathetic people who will show them kindness and this is their opportunity to get close and begin their true purpose of draining you. Over time you will begin to see their patterns of behaviour and feel imposed upon through their interactions with you. They play dumb to your needs because it serves their purpose. These people are not genuine friends, just opportunistic energy vampires going from one person to the next, taking all they can get until they are discovered, rejected or shunned. Trust how people make us feel, once we feel drained by people its time to pull back on all forms of interaction with them and develop an exit strategy. These people are insatiable manipulators who have to be stopped, as they are energy addicts, incapable of fair play and empathy. Feel no guilt for them, they will take and take until you break.
This is exactly how I feel about my father in law. He is always f-ing up his own life, then bringing his drama into our home in order to get away from his problems. He is also a horrible guest and makes me so uncomfortable.
