8 Things Parents Shouldn't Say to Their Child 

We have a very important video for parents or parents-to-be on "8 Signs Your Child is Depressed (For Parents)" WATCH: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-Oyf9kEmLg7Y.html

"I wish I had never given birth to you!" "You never did, Dad."

**offers virtual hugs to everyone down in the comments section who’s been mistreated by a parent**

"Man up." i was having a panic attack

The worst that's not on the list. Is telling your kid "You can't do that, what makes you think you can?" Yes I was told this as a kid. Still struggling with the damage to this day.

It's true that some parents only care about their children's grades, they say nobody's perfect but expects perfection from them.

"everyone have problems, your problem isn't a big deal" everyone has problems that doesn't mean my problem is less important I deserve to be loved.

Having BPD and being told to "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" while going through a split as a child and getting hit for "not complying" completely messed up how interacted with people permanently. I'll never forget how much fear I felt in that moment.

Growing up being told ‘I’ll give you something to cry about’ when you’re crying just makes something click in your brain, linking crying to something troublesome. So you end up not crying, and bottling it up. Turning that into a different bad emotion.

Before I even watch, I have been told by my mother that “I wish I never gave birth to you” I didn’t cry but I think about it a lot , im a guy if it matters or not

Parents often say things that they'll never remember...but their children will never forget.

it always hurt me when mom tells me "you're the worst thing that happened to me." I hope that one day I can come through this! and thank you for this video.

"What happened to my strong little girl"? She grew up dad and got emotions, got more vulnerable, and started to try to accept herself

Seriously, Parenting needs to be a subject at school, so that kids will know how to look after a younger person. Would be a lot more practical than teaching things you will never use in life....

"Because I said so" "This is stupid." "You're being ridiculous." "You need to grow up." "I never had this problem with your sister when she was your age." Yes, I have a very loving mother.

Every kid needs parents but not any parents needs kids

The sad thing is that there will barely be any parents watching this or any related video and the viewers will mostly be kids who wish parents could see this themselves, abusive or not.

The funniest conversation I've had with my parents went something like this: “You don't deserve half of the things you have.” “Does that include my PTSD?”

I hear “because I said so” and “I’m the parent here” all the time. And yes the results are accurate, I’m very defiant, sneaky, and easily aggravated by my parents

"Every time I see you you,you are eating." Yeah that was what my mother said to me

I always thought my parents were bad people, but watching this made me realise that they are even worse than I thought. Most of these I relate to, most of these were said to me, if not all. I'm so sorry for people that had worse lives too, going through all of these and more ❤

"quit crying or i'll give you a reason to" = not knowing how to comfort people

My mom’s said “I’m leaving” multiple times and even tho she hasn’t left I’m still scared it’ll happen eventually with anyone else I get close to lmao

my mom once said to me… “I’ve made a MONSTER” Basically calling me a damn monster. It still hurts to this day. I even told her that she is stressing me out, overwhelming me,etc and it was literally 3 DAYS AGO. and still doesn’t care. I just want love from her, not anger.

You had me here literally explained every bad thing my parents said to me. I'm showing this to them.

“You’ll experience worse, toughen up” Whether it’s emotional or physical pain, you’re allowed to feel it. Just because someone “has it worse” doesn’t mean you can’t feel it. Pain isn’t a competition

The divorced parent version of "I'm leaving and never coming back"; "If you don't like it here then you can go live with 'other parent'." That can hurt even more if the parent you don't live with is an asshole.

4:14 My dad lived by the mantra of “don’t you dare question me” or “because i say so”

"youre my strong one I know I can always rely on you for support" You're a parent I'm supposed to be able to rely on you

When parents are unfulfilled as human beings, they either try to fulfill themselves through their children or are envious of their children's success. Such parents are selfish and care less about their children's feelings, passions and opinions.

"I'm leaving and never coming back." Out of all the things mentioned in this list, this one really hits close to the past when my "mother" used that against me because I wouldn't do what she wanted. I am so angry at her. I am so angry of what she did, and I am grieving and sad at the fact that she will just continue to be a narcissistic, abusive, manipulative person. And I am reminded that parents are not supposed to be like her and my "father."

"It's not like we're abusing you" Is a big one my folks used when I started to cry after they were screaming at me I'm really sensitive to noises btw

I was told by my Step-Dad, repeatedly, that I cost him so much money. I’d rather get beaten, which I was.

"90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again" - Marge Simpson

ㅤ~timestamps͜••~ 1- 00:58 what's the matter with you 2- 01:31 i don't have time for you 3- 02:10 i wish you were more like...[insert name of friend/sibling here] 4- 02:42 you're a disappointment to me 5- 03:11 why didn't you...[insert thing here] 6- 03:43 because i said so 7- 04:20 (funni numbe) what are people going to say? 8- 04:56 I'm leaving and never coming back guys if you relate to any of these I'm sorry

if i sent this to my mom i feel like i would be grounded from social media until im 18.

We push down instead of lift up, and we reject truth.

"Big boys/girls don't cry!" We all do, being able to express emotions openly is important and it is important to talk about feelings, teaching that you have to hide your pain and "be strong" "man up" etc can be very damaging!

"You've done enough" I can never describe the guilt that it has on you, especially if you suffer from self-loathing.

People with disabilities that are struggling with them, raise your hand if your parents ever said “your just using your (disability) as an excuse” and then feel like your disability isn’t as bad as it really is ✋

"What is it that you're waiting for? Will you listen to me if I hit you?" I was going through a depressive time a few years ago and didn't attend my online school for about a term. I didn't understand why I was acting the way I did, but I had too many worries that I kind of just shut everything around me out. For the record, my parents have never been abusive and still aren't, but the parent who said that to me, has become shorter tempered and been having more arguments. Now, I'm 16 but those words still replay in my head all the time, and I'm always scared that he'd get physical when a conversation gets heated between my family. They're not lying when they say kids will remember everything. Sorry about my trauma dump ;( *Virtual hug for compensation*

"Your fine" "Stop worrying" "Your not trying hard enough" "If your not going to do it, its nothing to worried about" Caring more about if the things in our house than my physical health

The fact that I literally cried watching this just shows how much emotion I have pent up inside and how much I can relate to all of the things in video

From my grandparent instead of a parent but "What did i do to you?" is a phrase he loves to use. Whatever effect it tries to have completely tinks me.

"I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it." Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Ever since I was 9 years old, "You're just like your father" On my 18th birthday, I was sat down and told all about how HORRIBLE he was. Years later, I'm still thinking about it..

Toxic parents may laugh now, but they should prepare to cry later, as their actions towards their torn child will come back and haunt them.

My mom didn't say she would never come back.. she said that she will send me to a place so I can never come back

I've been trying to get my daughters fathers to understand that micromanagement will make her fail. And one bad grade, does not a fail make. They both stressed her over a D and C of all damn things. I made them back off and apologize and simply reminded her that she's far more capable than she gives her self credit for, and that I KNOW she will have it at the right place by years end. She passed with honor roll. And she's so proud of herself as she should be! I'm proud too!❤❤😊

"Be careful with your words. Once said, they can only be forgiven but never forgotten."

The fact that even if it was said only once it lives in the child's head forever is so terrifying☹️☹️

“ you’re so sensitive” I was literally having a panic attack. Not being able to breathe because of how many times I keep crying because of reason you’re calling me sensitive. good job mom. You have just made my day worser.

Fun fact: Why become first while trying to become the last is way harder smh

"I wish you were more like this" This is one if not the Most harsh thing you could ever tell to your own child..

My dad called me a psycho- as well as calling me embarrassing on multiple occasions in public. Calling me disappointing, lying about me, assuming my brother is going to get in a big collage and not me, yelling at me for even the smallest thing, saying “Im the parent and your the child” when I literally want to take a shower or eat or smt. When I came out to my dad he asked me “your joking right?” And even to this day he still doesn’t think I’m lesbian he thinks I’m either straight or bi. And there is so much more

The last thing talked about sparked a memory of when I was younger. My mom was absolutely pissed off about the new place we had moved to and she started ranting and yelling saying she was going to leave and live on her own away from us back where we were before. The feeling, thinking back on it, was fear and sadness that she didn’t want to be with us anymore. I’ve had a fear of abandonment(like deep fear) for a long time and I never knew where it came from. Thinking back about this, it might actually stem from not necessarily this moment, but definitely was fed from it. Thank you for making this video. I’m gonna be thinking about this in my head for a while; and maybe sit down with my mom and talk with her about it.

"Because I said so" gets my blood BOILING. That tells the child that they are obliged to do whatever someone tells them to do. Also, it sets the mentality that they could do anything they want when they're an adult, and children have to obey them.

"I wish you were more like..." I remember a story of my mother. She said that she has a friend who encourages her son to be more like me. The son of my mom's friend replied with: I don't care about grades. When I heard that story, I was not happy because I am a friend of the son of my mom's friend and he is honestly a nice person to be around with. Even though I was used as an example, I felt bad because that kid did not need to change anything about him.

“Because I said so.” Yeah you said so… but I don’t feel comfortable with your rules…. “YOU PROMIsED….” Yeah I did. But some promises must be broken. Some people actually deal with this…. Regularly. Please be careful of what you say parents

I struggle from Autism and ADHD so it’s hard to get things done. I do school work all day for five days, I study, I pay attention in class, but my parents still nag me about my low grade in science. My parents want me to be a doctor or a scientist, but I want to be a content creator. They said “content creation is useless and won’t get you anywhere, it’ll just put you in the streets.” That sentence shattered me to the core. I didn’t cry because they’d say “deal with it” or “you’re 14, you can handle it”. I can’t handle it, I’m just a kid, I can’t just deal with everything at once! Sorry to waste your time on this comment, I’ll just be ignored anyway

I'm a parent PLUS a victim of child abuse, so this touched A LOT harder then most might understand. There was times where I wanted to say "What will people think!?" But before I even started acting like my adopted mom, I shake my head and say "So what people think?....." and tell them how awesome, beautiful/handsome, positive, independent, amazing children they are! Pointing out the positive challenges that they themselves over come, even thou they saw a lot of horrible negative things from my ex husband and I. Them, themselves try to be my little heros. But I stand up and them know "Its ok kiddos, I ain't going to have him hurt you...." which they did explain when they got older that it hurt them not knowing what to do to help. I thanked them for trying but explained "There was nothing you could've done immediately, he could've come to you and with his hateful words. Even try to beat you to be scared to get help from the police or anything, it was best in my mind to keep you guys safe to make sure you where somewhere I can trust to go away for months on end. That way you guys didnt get hurt nor afraid to be in the house, and I was making a plan to safely get us somewhere safe permanently." Sadly back then I didnt have ANY help from my adopted family who was near by, my adopted dad was trying his best to do what he could do. Taking the kids to his place if big enough in Hawaii, or even sending money and food, clothes whatever needed to be done if they need it. I sacrificed a lot for them because the love and joy I bring to them was endless, so why put them threw hell when they dont need it? I promised myself I WOULDN'T for any reason follow my adopted mom's footsteps, and cut off the negative view point to my kids and made myself a shield for them. Yes I did come home with bruises, cuts and even wounds. But I know my kids where safe everytime, and my friends as much as they could help me a lot for them. Now I'm a grandma myself, and they have so much love. Even when I'm not psychically there, I try to keep up with their lives as much as they gave love to me. 💖

One thing I'd maybe like to add to this: "It's my fault you're like this," "We parented you badly," "We were being too nice/We spoiled you." This indirectly says that the child is bad but also seems to imply that there is no way to change what has passed.

I love how soothing and soft and quiet your voice is…❤ this teally😢made my day❤ thank you so much❤

Bravo 👏. Well said & put together 🎉!

“I rather have her as my daughter than you” “You were the reason i couldn’t follow my dreams” “You were an accident” “Why are you crying? It’s annoying” “You are stupid for ‘falling in love’” after she found and read my diary when i was 14 “You frustrate me” Later on she tells me she told me all of those things to “make me tough” I live with low self steem, and she wonders why i never talk to her about anything. Why i never tell her about my feelings. I’ve never shared much to her about my relationships and often throws a comment here and there that she would like grandchildren, which i usually ignore and i make sure she never sees me cry. I don’t hate her, i don’t think i could ever hate her. She was a very young mom without guidance from anyone but i will never forget the things she told me and as much as she wants a cute mother/daughter relationship, i don’t think i can fully do that

When a child is born, a parent is born too, that person existed before, but the parent is completely new🙏

I’ve heard all of this… I feel like I can’t even say that I don’t like something without them getting mad😖

"You are a unplanned child." She often told me this as a child. Not out of anger, but in a joking, mocking manner. She is now in her mid 70s, earning a lot less than what her living expenses cost, and is now living under my care. I cannot remember her apologizing even once for all those times. I have decided not to have children or not get married. I also avoid being with her if possible, outside of me asking her if she needs anything for the house (groceries, errands, etc.). She still wonders to this day why I am the way I am.

"You're useless" "You're just a waste of space" "Look at her, she's thin, why can't you be like her?" "If you've studied harder, you could've been part of the quiz bee!" "We'll go and drop you off to your tita next morning, you're not gonna live here anymore" "Why can't you be like her?" I get it, I get it. I'm imperfect, but I try my best.

"What are people going to say?" hits the hardest. I'm pretty confident a massive part of my lack of self-esteem and absolute fear of being and expressing my real self freely was caused by my mother constantly repeating this over and over to me. Ever since I was a teen I feel like I stopped living to conform to this stupid threat. I ended up being the pale shadow of my real self just because I hide as much of me as I can, because I'm absolutely terrified of being judged in any way. Both by her and by people outside. Suddenly all of the things I liked made me 'childish', 'stupid' or 'they'll think you have an uncaring mother!'. Good job mom, this is how you created the gray, apathetic, dull me you despise so much. You didn't treasure the colorful, confident, happy kid you once had and insisted for her to turn into this. Now don't complain if I barely exist.

I am happy for this Chanel you guys helped me a LOT thank you

man, i hear all of these every day 😭 didn’t realize these were such big problems but i guess this explains a lot

I told my mum I want to a lawyer. Her words were, "Your grades aren't high enough. You are way too stupid for such a job." I'm now having conversations with my careers advisor at my school and she said, "You can do it, you would be a perfect fit in a law firm." And at this moment and time, I don't care what my mum has to say about it, I'm making my dreams come true whether she likes it or not.

#9: "Oh, he/she probably just has a crush on you!" Teaching your child that "oh, if they are bullying you they probably have a crush on you!" Is basically telling them that abusive relationships are normal. My mom told this to me when I was 10 years old. I just got out an abusive relationship a month or two ago.. at first, I thought it was healthy. But, as time went on, I realized that it was definitely not. If you make a part two, can you please add this? It would make my day and it will spread the word.

"I'm leaving and never coming back" *please don't make me relive it...*

i watched this many times along with your other videos because of A) you have a calming voice, and B) i dont know if anything i right or wrong. so i thank you, with all my heart, for this little relaxation.

Wow. I initially watched this from the perspective of a parent wanting to avoid saying these things to my child. I discovered that I’ve heard almost every single one of these from my parents. It’s no wonder I developed so many mental health issues and self esteem issues. I’m healing though and I will be a better mother to my child.

Parents always ask us to be grateful for them but sometimes I feel that they should realise that they are grateful to have us too.

2:24 when i was in school about like 1 year and a half ago, my mother always said these things to me, even in younger grades. but one day i saw on the tv someone had watched this video and she hasnt said that to me since. before she watched this video, the people who sat around me in class always supported me and i supported them with all of our grades, we were like a family and it made me happy when i felt sad about being compared to my siblings because when we were speaking about how good different grades are, never comparing them to eachothers it made me feel like i was in a happy family with siblings who werent older than me.

Man, I am a kid and I watched this, and the "Afraid because how they would react" hits home so hard.

“If we didn’t have you we wouldn’t be in this situation” it still hurts till this day but I’m getting better from it!

This is why I want to be a supporting mother in the future, yet still have a respectful child. 🥺

wish my mum have seen all the videos of your channel! I literally feel like life is not worth living now! my mum always says hurtful things and misunderstood me, believe what she wanna believe and nothing else. life really suck. im exhausted from crying in silent everyday. i just wanna free from this world

Thank you for this video. i did the first to my girls once, in a very frustrated state, because they were doing something dangerous. i still feel horrible about my wording. And then watching the rest, i realized i was told all of them as a kid. i think videos like this help us realize what's been done and hopefully break the cycle.

I poured my heart out to my dad once in a letter. He yelled at he and told me I should be ashamed of what a terrible son I was. Sorry for everyone else with bad parents.

Might as well add the statements: "You are like this....." assuming things about their child/children when they actually know nothing. "You are a such a rebel...." when you obviously just have different beliefs and perspectives that are not exactly the same with theirs and they can't accept it. "I'm so proud of you.." only after seeing all the medals you received during graduation but never reacted nice when you showed them good grades ever since. "You're so ambitious...." doesn't even know that they are all part of your plans and one of the reasons why you strive in school. "You're going to be like this....(negative)" just because you act differently and only wishes to pursue a long term happiness for yourself, and them thinking you can't reach it. Lastly, "When we get old, you'll surely abandon us..." hurts the most saying as if you never really cared about them and such an ungrateful child. Little did they know you were already having thoughts in your head about taking care of them in the future. So sad that these so called adults seems to be lacking of basic good morals. Their child/children are humans too. They should at least prepare them for a life ahead, not trying to kill them mentally and emotionally in the process.

Parenting is hard. It takes more than just love this video reminded me of how it made me feel when I was growing up I still believe I got the best parents in the world flaws and all and grateful I get to spend whatever time we all have left together my heart goes out to thoose that lost their parents or who didn’t have a safe home growing up I hope you can find peace now and share it with everyone ya meet. ❤😊

Narcissistic mom…. My mom hits all points and I’m 29 years old and extremely mentally messed up. Please pray for me

Psych2Go: 8 Things Parents Shouldn't Say to Their Child My parents: doing every single thing that opposes it

Here is some of mine: “Don’t make us look bad” “ You’re still talking” “You’re suppose to obey me” “You’re spoiled” “I brought you into this world I can take you out of it” 🙃

"Why didn't you..." I hear that all the time. I wasn't aware it was a problem. I wasn't aware it was the reason I criticize myself and critique myself till my head aches and I can barely hold my head up everyday. That voice in my head screams at me nonstop. It's a hard thing to battle. Good to know. One time, my father told me he was going to leave and never come back. Sometimes, when my parents are gone for longer then I thought during an argument I panic, and it's awful feeling.

Off topic but i love your voice its so calming!

There's a thing that mostly my parents say to me whenever I'm crying : "You have nothing to cry for" . And it hurts hearing that from them after telling them not to.

Two statements that my parents said to me that have stuck with me: 1) when I expressed that I was no longer apart of their religion “I thought we raised you better than that.” 2) When graduating with my bachelor’s degree “we never thought you’d get this far!” (I have a doctorate now)

Me over here having seen my parents do all but one of these things. They say now that I’m older that they didn’t even do these things as I continue to watch to do them. It really hurts and makes me just want a way out. It’s really sad how kids are raised and then expected to not talk about the shit they went through because it’s weak. To anyone who has struggled with this stuff know you aren’t alone and I’m right here beside you, you are loved and worth everything the world can offer you. Never give up on what you want to accomplish and don’t compromise yourself for others, you are perfect just the way you are

thats why parents are the true villains 😢

"Cause I said so." Was a big one with my parents. I was always curious and wanted to know why some rules needed to be followed. It why now as a parent myself I'm always prepared to explain why things are the way they are. And that no rule is in place to hurt them or make them feel bad. It's also why, when my kids were much younger and got into trouble, I'd always sit them down and ask what they thought got them into trouble. Often times children don't fully understand what it is they did wrong or at least not fully. So explaining it to them in full really helps them to understand.

"You must be a punishment to our mistakes. " Not the exact words but this is what they meant.

"I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it" - my mom

“What’s the matter with you” seems innocuous