I have to comment here that I am 29 yrs old, middle class, Indian female and the only thing my parents have asked me to do so far in my life is to build my career.. never hurt me or tried to push me into marriage.. I have to say, my parents are amazing, I am blessed.
My both parents work. Mom cooks morning meals, dad cooks evening meals. Both share equal house hold duties. Proud of them. They are happly married for 25 years...
Same here dude my mum is a English lecturer and father is in bank both of them share equal responsibilities some times dad cook food some times mom ,some times he wash dishes some times it's mom....not only in household work but also economically both of them are differently responsible...and most important thing there is no complaining factor over this.... I'm blessed to have them as my parents!!❤️
@@eragangwar9310 happy to hear that. Certainly we are a pitrasattatmak society which means men are of Power in our house beacouse of our rich history where man used go out for farming and women used to manage the house until 1980, however now there more people being urbanized and women being working equally in society it our responsibility to change the way our society used to work. When i will get married ,i will make sure if we both are working we will share the house hold jobs equally and one of us wants to manage the house we will respect the decision and will divide the responsibility equally without making anyone of less important. Thats what the next generation is all set to behave. We can not change entire world in one day . It takes time....
I m 16 currently and ever since I was a child my mom always kept telling me that I have to marry after 12th, that if I don't clear IIT, she will marry me off to some random stranger. Everytime I talk back my parents r like "if u r going to behave like that no guy will marry you". Everytime some conversation got related to money,they would always bring up that how they have to save money for my dowry otherwise no one will marry me. The thing is, they did not tell this to my brother,not even once. They always kept saying he has no worries because he is a guy but I do coz m a girl. The fact that such people bring up their daughters making them believe that their only purpose in life is to get married so u can give kids is SHIT. I don't like my family,living with them is very toxic. I don't like how the society treats women in general. This needs to change.and I ll make sure m a part of that change:)
for that u should study hard and make yourself economically independent i guess that will help u to make ur life decisions without getting influenced by ur family
Same with my family.. I wanna learn western music. And for that I wanna go to abroad or will have to move to another state. But my mom isn't agreeing. She is always threatening me to marry off with some stranger. Just because I wanna study music. Like it disgusts me that it comes from a woman who gave me birth and who was married off at the young age of 20. Like she doesn't understand. It's so toxic.
The mere fact that in most of the heterosexual marriages, the female partner is customed to leave her parents' house to shift to her husband's house and if she asks her husband to do the same, she is termed as "home-wrecker" tells us that the whole idea of marriage is nowhere based on "equality". Edit: Clearly a few people misunderstood me, which is very evident from some venomous comments below. After the meditation of nearly 11 months on this subject and new perspective gaining, I'll rephrase what I said above. I'm not saying a man "should" leave his house and parents to settle at his spouse's home nor I'm saying a woman "should" do that. It is not me to comment upon it. I'm just highlighting that how woman leaving her house is normalised whereas the a man leaving is not and how the society remarks on such unorthodox move. Regarding what the couple decides regarding where to live, is a purely personal choice. No one for us to comment upon. The best we can do is not shame men or couple who decide to live at their spouse's home. Thank you x
@@anikaverma5856 Yeah. You're right. If we present these ideas in front of our parents they are most likely to make us keep quiet because it supposedly goes against the ages old tradition. But now at least we can question these ideas which are imposed upon us.
@DarthYuYevon Yes. It does depend upon the person. If a woman wants to live at her husband's house by her choice, that's totally fine. But only if she "wants to" and is not imposed to leave her parents' home. That's why I mentioned that a woman is "customed to leave her parent's house" and not even asked about what she wants (in most of the marriages). This is where the problem rises. At the end of the day, it all depends on the choice of that couple and what they decide.
@@devashrikulkarni1337 thankfully I have been talking like this since my early teenage so now they have become more open minded plus they aren't so bad like some parents but total equality for their bahu they don't. I have seen their mindset change in many things. Some parents are good these things are just new to them we need to explain all this and give them time and they might understand. Although talking about periods is not common haha 😆 . But yes there are so many Indian parents who discriminate so much they would never understand, I have such relatives too
I'm 18 and I feel really empowered seeing all these comments of other women sharing personal experience or talking about happy lives without marriage. Only shows how getting married should only be a part of life, and not necessarily a huge goal or a mandatory factor for happiness.
@@soumensantu yup. The other day itself I did send this video to my friends. A few of them have boyfriends that they want to hopefully marry one day and others wouldn't mind staying unmarried. Each to their own.
So in my school we had compulsory Home Science classes for boys so that they can learn how to do housework and help their moms at home (and eventually their wives)
@MGTOW Red Pilled oh I realise I have put it wrong.. it was compulsory for everyone.. both girls and boys.. And by making sure even boys have to attend it compulsorily, you send the message that housework has to be done by everyone and is not a "Woman's Job".
@MGTOW Red Pilled I don't understand why you'd have that opinion. If it's because you feel that's wasting school time that could've been given to academic subjects let me tell you, it was after school hours and once a week. If there's any other reason I'd be really interested in knowing
@MGTOW Red Pilled I don't mean to make you say anything you don't want to say, but you just straight up threw slack at my school, so I just wanted to know why you held that opinion..
I am 21 , my father is a progressive Ambedkarite , we are from a small town ,my Parents always wanted a girl child and i am their First and ONLY child . They focused all their love , energy into a single girl child they have, never ever talked to me about marriage and stuff , they have always kept my education above everything else , always told me that whatever money you require is for your education and health and marriage is least of our concern , its your choice if you ever wanna get married and whom so ever you get married and how you choose to organize your wedding , you have to do it all . Our only motive was to make you capable enough to speak up for yourself , Earn for yourself and do something for our society ! I will forever be grateful to have such supportive parents ! Its just because of them that I will be getting my MBBS degree in the next two years !
I'm the only child of my parents, who're known to have openly declared that they wanted a daughter. Got my mbbs 3 years ago, and instead of getting me married off to some random person, they asked me what i wanted. I work in england now, and found myself a good man here (in my late twenties), and now i'm happy with my professional and personal life. It's a dream for many girls in India to have parents like yours or mine, happy to see that you appreciate them. Best of luck to your future.
I am really glad to hear that there are such progressive people out there, not just by thoughts and words but also by actions. It makes me hopeful about my future. Currently, I am one year away from being a dentist. It took me almost a year to convince my father from him wanting me to get married right after graduation to marrying at 25. Now I will have to study extra hard to get admissions into master's degree (in 1st attempt) so that the age of marriage moves further forward by 2-3 years.
Same girl, I'm also in my pre final year of MBBS and my father is a single parent who has never treated me any different than my brother. Kudos to us and our understanding parents.
@ronlovesit you need to study a little about it and you will get to know why reservations were brought on. Since you are in this side of RU-vid algorithm I hope you are open to educating yourself.
I used to help my mother in household chores occasionaly, once in a month or something like that, just for winning some brownie points from her. It was only because of your video on Indian ads glorifying women's unpaid work that I realized how tiring the work really is. Since then, I've started to contribute my efforts in household works daily. Love your channel. Keep it up!
World needs men like you! If every man starts feeling equal responsibility on household chores,this world will be full of happy & proud moms, sisters and wives.. our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) also used to help his spouse in household chores. We need to make him our role model.
Please keep up the good work and continue helping each lady who is a part of your life..whether it may be your mother, sister, wife, sister -in-law or mother-in-law.. Allah rewards every good deed you do. This world will try to discourage you a lot, but please don't stop. Instead, teach them the right thing.
@DarthYuYevon it's good that you both workout a way by understanding each other. But in some Asian countries, the household chores are just fixed in the lady's fate, such that it kills her dreams, drains her physically and mentally. Very few men here understand that the women need some rest as well. Edit: Also the chores in Asia are more than you can imagine. It's usually a joint family. A wife is supposed to take full care of you, your children, your parents, siblings (even married one's in some cases), cook for big families and parties alone, clean everything by herself etc..moreover, she will not be even recognised for her efforts. some ill minded in-laws will be criticising her without any reason.
Marriage is not necessary but companionship is. I am also not married but I won't mind a platonic bonding with a woman who does not want to get married or have children.
@@doggiepal1 It is your understanding Riah. Many nice men and woman choose to be single because of their own prejudices to the surprise of people around them who kept wondering He/She is nice, sincere, intelligent, handsome/beautiful, likeable and still they are single. I personally feel we mostly think that we just cannot find anybody like us. Men and women who don't want to marry and have children can make their own group and support each other emotionally and maybe they can find someone.
@@Ajay-ph1ei Well, if you had said single people can form a community/ support group etc in your earlier msg, I wouldn't have made that sarcastic jibe. And I agree, if there is indeed a nice community space like that, why not. Also, it is not my 'Understanding' alone. It is also my experience. It's very difficult, nearly impossible for men to foster platonic relationships. Maybe it's nature, I don't know but most of the safe spaces we women have nurtured don't have men in them.
@@doggiepal1 Thanks for understanding, I extend my hand of platonic friendship towards you.. can we connect each other as friends..if only you can trust.
I m really lucky that i am very well educated and married the man I liked and I m having an equal status in my marriage.i have not changed my last name and I have a strong say in my household. My choices are respected and heard . In fact my son has taken my name and my husband's name as his initials ..my husband shares the household chores and participates equally in raising our child .I really hope all girls in my country get equal status and rights in their marriage too. I think for that we have to raise our boys right ..its high time we get out of unequal, patriarchal ways of the society.
@ULTIMATE MGTOW who told you that math ? If the woman haven't changed her surname, her daughter in law might also do the same or whatever else she would like and they'll be happy (coz they seem to be real people who know what actually matter in life) . Though I agree partially with you on the no surname point, not in this family's reference, but in general with a different aspect to it ( I personally believe it can make everyone's life easier).
@ULTIMATE MGTOW you're suffering from a deadly disease called feminismophobia. You'll soon loose all your social and critical thinking abilities and if timely treatment not given, you can also loose your sanity.
I'm a male, early 20s, North Indian, not against marriage or relationships at all. I'm okay to get happily married to the love of my life in the coming future and be a proud househusband. Right now she's also somewhere going towards her goal to become the financial head of my future family, breaking all the stereotypes of a patriarchal society that I and many of my knowns have seen since they were a kid and now being a herd of sheep; while I'm going out in the world to focus on my artistic work, rather than money. Love to all. _(Template took)_
@ULTIMATE MGTOW I won't judge you by your name, but nevertheless sorry, low-key I did. Let's just agree that we all mutually have to think about everything. If women wants equal circumstances around, they must accept that there's a balance that's going to be required for that. Many in my known are a happily part of it. Many from the other side, even though being educated pity on their situation. At end of the day, you always realise it's just people... Educated, no educated; men, women; young, elder; Indian, American; celebrity, just someone - all are equal. It's just how you perceive things. You want change? First start with brain.
@ULTIMATE MGTOW also, marry someone who you love and you know h/she completes you. Because at the end of the day, you see it's both of the people that are responsible for every outcome. If they are already apart, divorce is something legal; an action taken by a piece of paper... You already are destined to create a reck, and raise a havoc on yours and your future kids (which is the case of many _"marriages gone wrong"_ around the world.
@ULTIMATE MGTOW be smart and genuine about having a partner. That can either bloom your life or can give birth to havoc. Or better off, if don't discover anyone... Be alone. Die alone. But never pass your own chaos to your future generations.
Awesome man... actually when we talk about equality nobody really views it from the male perspective.. I mean why are males always pressurized to get a good degree and a job otherwise they won't get married..this puts a lot of pressure on many men and so many student suicide cases we hear it's because of this pressure only.. IT'S OK for a man to look for a wife who can look after him financially while he looks after her home
@@mohammadnaushadhussain9390 I.... so you are saying everything our parents tell us to do aagar vo galat bhi ho to bhi manle, kisne kaha jo parents ke baat sunke arrange marriage karke khush reh sakte he, mostly sari ladkiya/ladke, khush nahi hai arrange marriage mein
@@rifahanisa363 HA BAAJI, PAR MAINE LOVE MARRIAGE WALO ME JHAGDE AUR TALAQ ZYATAR DEKHE HAI. AUR WALO MAI KAM DEKHE HAI LOVE MARRIAGE KARNE WALO KA KOI SATH NHI DETA.
Indian parents: beta anjaan ladko se baat nahi karni chahiye.... Same Indian parents: ye ladka acha hai, Shaadi karle, ise jaanti nahi to kya hua, waqt k saath jaan jaayegi ;) :D
Jis din dekhne aate h usi din puchna shuru k ha krde bdiya hi h.. Jese koi kpde ki sale h.. And same parents judge my 13 years old friends..(13 saal se dost h..) they judge his character.. But ek din k liye aaya hua ldka unko jyda accha lgne lg jata h.. I just hate this society yrr..
Recently I've been questioning the concept of marriage and i know that when the time comes my family's gonna be forcing it on me but i just don't feel like it is really that important anymore
@DarthYuYevon exactly!! You said the right thing. Some people enjoy another's company, some like being on their own. This is for men and women both. Best is to live and let live.❤️❤️
@DarthYuYevon Completely agree with you all I was trying to say is it is optional to get married or not. It should not be mandatory for either male or female.
I was literally emotional blackmailed into it cos I had a boyfriend and my relative kept bugging my mum about it. When my mom started putting the idea of marriage inside my head it was all from a right place as a mother - if you both are sexually active then he is just using you cos this is what literally the guys want without marriage, his parents will start respecting me, social security. I then started imposing this on my then boyfriend and he caved in like I did. But we didn't marry for the right reasons.
@@doggiepal1 27 happy but sad that will get married very soon to a mallu guy which am not sure is a guy fr me....... Jobless engineer tensed of thinking what will I do if I get married without job..... Nd becoming a hand tied with no choice left other than being a housewife
@@aswathirajan7963 Find another Job. I too was nearly pushed into an arranged marriage. Glad I didn't let that happen. But i understand your fears. I've been there.
@@aswathirajan7963 stand up for yourself. You may face parental anger now, but that's preferable to a life time of regret. Your self worth is not defined by your marital status or even your job. Remember that.🙏👏
I used to help my mom with the household works. But when my exams approached I was reluctant to work. I would say to my mom to ask my brother for help as he was jobless and playing pubg at home. Then everyone gave me a look as if I asked my pet to go earn money. Our society Is so much biased. Why should a man not help with households, like why? If you say you are a feminist at home, patriarchal family will treat you as a Pakistani living in Indian family. My grandma curses me when ever I say anything back which I disagree with but if my brother says that it's fine for her, in fact it's legal in her court. All this needs to be stopped. Let's raise our voices against inequality
U know what current moms need to start teaching thier boys this. Coz gender partiality begins there itself. When u ask ur daughter to was utensils, nxt day ask ur son to do so too. Divide work load equally at home. Support both kids equally in thier career choices. Coz HOME is the place ur mentality takes form. Indian moms if ur reading this think about it. Didn't u also wanted this while u were growing up, if this was taught to ur hubbys too they would behave differently today. Automatically. Let's change the world to new tomorrow, where both genders are treated equally ⭐let's start this from home itself
@@aquahorns8995 I wash the car with my parents and lift heavy stuff at home....But they already mentioned all chores should be done by all so yeah these things are included.
I am just 19 and people are already started talking about how I am going to get married and would have to do all house chores, if I laze around how my in laws will taunt me and all this. I just don't understand why ? Why do I have to care about that? Am I going to be wife or maid? Am I going to spend my time doing house chores only? You know I am so tired of this that I even started to hate this idea of marriage because as far as I met any elderly they only say it is woman who should adjust and do all chores, take care of the family and all. It makes me wonder why not men? Just because I as woman will have to move from one place to another only I should adjust as per their request? Why can't they? You know it's really problematic and I don't know whom should I talk, my parents are already telling me whenever I do any mistakes or laze around, " what will you do when you get married? I am not going to accept you back if they left you" ( although in funny way they says, but still it makes me have a fear of being burdened)
I feel the same!!! And yesterday I told my mother that..." look, I don't even feel the need to get married, as if I'm constantly tied to something! I don't need that."
Whats wrong in doing household chores? If ur husband is main breadwinner than u have to do household chores or else dont get married OR be in a Lesbian relationship that's quite common nowadays 🤣
Whats wrong in doing household chores? If ur husband is main breadwinner than u have to do household chores or else dont get married OR be in a Lesbian relationship that's quite common nowadays 🤣
26, and unmarried here. My dad doesn't even care for my marriage 😂 whereas my mom might have some thoughts about it. I dont know. Right now I see marriage as nothing but a binding.
Hey, I am 29 years old..there is constant pressure from my family n more from relatives for my marriage. The closer I am to 30, the more worried my parents are..no one cares about the money I want to earn, build a better livelihood but more concerned about the status of would spouse. On the the other hand, I end up meeting assholes who wants everything in terms of women with good body, working financially settled but listens to him solely.
@@Whatever_seriously He didn't say somebody would refuse marrying her when she's past 30. He's saying men would refuse marrying a less fertilie woman(which happens to be 30+) unless the man also wants to be child free.
Lol men also loses their fertility, I don’t know why Indian boys are so uneducated..men sperm starts decreasing in quality same way like women’s fertility. Old men after 35+ will not be able to give healthy children because of low sperm quality there will be chances of autism, Down syndrome, miscarriage and later other health problems! So women should also stop marrying older men if they want healthy babies
I am 23, and trust me I have listened a lot taunts about how your in-laws will tolerate you from my parents. Also there is my cousin who is 35 still unmarried and people speaks so ill about her being incompetent or characterless that's why no one married her till now. Let me tell you she's in a public sector bank, earning 50k and happy without changing her surname, but this patriarch society is sick enough to question about her character and competency. And this video clearly said what I personally think about marriages and a female's role and dreams regarding it which are almost ignored.
Ikr,like if u speak up against something Ur parents said or did,they tell u Ki "hum toh tolerate karenge,par tumhare inlaws Kaise karenge??" ,And u r considered a rebel and what not
Men care less about women's career or earnings, men are attracted toward feminine beauty. Look at the ladies in this video, nothing feminine about her, she looks like man🤣 who wants to marry her?
My mum was forced to do both paid work and household chores at the same time, so she left her office and chose to be a housewife. She's happy now but this still makes me very emotional. My paternal family is extremely sexist.
The comment section has become like a community, all women empowering eachother and not following the society rules to belittle other women. It is very nice seeing EVERYONE and not just a few people who do that. I am lazy but I do jobs that need to be done and don't slack off. On the other hand, if I ask my brother for some help, my mom comes at me that this is my job and she training me for my 'married future self'. A plate of BS I tell you. My mother is a big danger to women empowerment and she has got used to being the slave of the house and not a member. Good for her I guess, cause she doesn't want a change. But I do, I want a change. Where it may be my job to make a meal, but when I'm sick, somebody else will be willing to take over. I won't train myself to stay a slave for the rest of my life. I am a human and I demand to be treated like one.
@@kundanthakurfiem You're right. If her mother stops doing things for her then she'll cry like a little baby. Brats like her needs to slapped hard so that some sense can be put into them.
@@gohan12991boys and girls from rich families take everything for granted.they complain a lot about superficial things .when their parents try to stop their promiscuous behavior, alcoholism,not allowing late night parties,one night stands then rich brats become a rebel.we saw during lockdown how labourer from up and Bihar were walking hundred of miles on their foot empty stomach to reach their native place.it was so appalling.on one hand we get to see humanity suffering from so many big challenges .on the other hand there are people who have no such problems in their life still they keep crying for no reason.
I really wish marriage was only between a man and a woman. But when the whole family is involved how in the world will a woman be feminist in a marriage?
Marriage should between two willing individuals but yes legally India doesn't have LGBT marriages. And Family don't approve either LOL Anyways have an honest conversation with your parents and say I expect these things from a partner. I expect equality, respect, division of work, similar restriction or some restriction that you may not like, etc. If you want him to move in with you say it clearly that. If you are clear with both of your parents and partner thinks will be better ( still there will be problem though :P). I said to mom when she was talking about a rista that I will want to stay with her in livein at least for 1 year before deciding. She said then you find for yourself .. LOL things shorted. Now my Girfried's family is having problems, her father agreed but her mom is not getting ready.
Because India is a collectivistic society and not individualistic like the west Why are we trying to copy the west when we clearly know that individualism is a huge cause of loneliness and depression in the west
25 year old, independent,committed since 11 years but don't wanna get married in the coming years, happy💖my family never talks about marriage,however I have few relatives who asks me things like "you have a bf then what are you waiting for" , "doesn't he ask you for marriage" lmao 🙊
The thought of getting married off to some stranger just scares me like hell I'm scared to grow up Because if I will people will start questioning about my martial status They'll start judging me And people think that a single woman cannot live alone They'll tease me They'll break me I feel I should not live in this society which burdens me to do something
How could you feel more confident?? They can't break you. You are infinite snd this is all temporary. It is like a test in school. What do you need to build confidence in what you know is the truth about yourself. Men are actually threatened by a strong woman, its why they are fighting so hard against it. They don't want to do their own work. We are stronger than we've been raised to believe. It's time to realize that strength and be independent and not a legalized slave we call marriage.
I hope Swaddle becomes the biggest and most popular channel in the whole universe, because I haven't seen this kind of content anywhere else. Keep growing Swaddle!
I am 25 years old And I work self-dependent but I live with my parents just a few days ago my uncle was showing me a boys for marriage and said, now get marry After age, no boy will be found for marriage and for how long will your parents be alive for you Since then my parents also started getting worried for me,but I don't want to get marry right now 😒 this is how people start spoiling our life
Imagine growing up just to be forced to lose connection with your parents and live with a male stranger and his family forever and take care of them even though they can take care of themselves.
"take care of them even though they can take care of themselves" .... this is such an epic diss and a straight fact that makes the system and the in-laws look even dumber. I heart this XD
Imagine growing up just to provide everything at the cost of your own health and live with a female stranger who can't take care of the home even she is unemployed.
@@chandrikarawat8606 It's not a diss, it's ignorance. Men have to give up their own lives to work 12 hours a day and come home to an ungrateful wife who is unemployed, doing nothing, and blackmails you into silence by calling you sexist and misogynistic.
This may hurt but parents who don't want their daughters to talk to boys and then gets her wedded to a random stranger is a good example of them making their daughter a prostitute. Atleast prostitutes work on their own terms her the daughter's body becomes a chaar logo ka matter and she is treated like a sex slave
Do u exactly know what r saying... Don't change the definition of prostitute. The girl who has done sexual intercourse with boyfriends is called prostitute... Sex without marriage is called adultery and this work is called prostitutions
@@ShoaibKhan-im3tw Do you know what you are saying? Sex with a boyfriend is consensual sex, not prostitution. Adultery is sex in an affair or a married person with someone who isn't their spouse. Prostitution is sex for money or whatever in return, there's no relationship there. There's a difference amongst these.
@@eshajoshi3597 actually sex with ur boyfnd comes under the shameful act which is called fornication... And there is not much difference b/w adultery and fornication..
@@ShoaibKhan-im3tw Not much difference in terms of definition but one will be more acceptable (depends on people). Anyways what I'm saying is whatever it is it's not prostitution.
Its one of the best choice ever, Look at married couple they end up being miserable broken and regretting it. It is not worth it because people change nothing is promised and lt won't last lol
@@karthikronad868 They're selling us a hedonistic lifestyle. Marrying and having kids gives us a sense of fulfillment. Not marrying and partying and sleeping around for the temporary happiness you'll feel is essentially hedonism. Of course, I know our country is a shithole filled to the brim with forced marriages. But in the case romantic marriages at least, people shouldn't be forcing this hedonistic sad lifestyle on them.
My sis said one thing to me that mattered the most - It may be that 'when' will you get married , but eventually it is about who you marry : how much you matter to him and what type of person he is . That is what determines your happiness.
I started to get marriage proposals when i was 21 from guys who had money, status but way older than me. Thank God my parents didnt force me to get married. i completed ny education, got job, earned good amount of money, traveled many countries alone and got happily married at 29. I bought my own jewelry, dresses,for my wedding.. Did everything with my own money.. I am lucky ny parents never treated me like girl.. Now even after getting married i Don't feel burdened with household chores,nor i have to babysit my husband like Most indian women... So girls, be independent.. Marriage is a choice.. Don't get married until you get a man who will respect your independence and doesn’t believe in patriarchal society rules. Till then you are enough for yourself.
Being a women in late twenties I do like the concept of having a partner n sharing my life but can’t stand the idea that it would mean me letting go of my home, space n identity to go n live in someone else’s parents house. Marriage would be pretty great if it is about two people stating n sharing a life together rather women letting go off everything to ‘adjust’ in someone else’s house
The last one should be banned . 'Kanyadaan' translates to woman (Virgin only) donation . And you donate old or unused excess goods , it's official meaning is 'donation of a well trained virgin girl from the father / brother and the rest of the family to the husband and his family' . And even later the woman will be forced to rely on a male relative because 'what will happen to reputation if woman works' . Kind of like a parent saying , "No dear you aren't adopted but when we find a guy for you we'll unofficially disown you anf give you to a random rich family like some kind of prize horse because of a centuries old ritual no one really knows much about , and you'll spend the rest of your life shuffled between two homes , never a part of any , maybe you'll eventually become a bitter old mother in law / do the same to your daughters ."
Mangal sutra and sindoor are no problem. They are kind of symbol of your consent and acceptance. Yes and dowry was actually stridhan. Though no mention in Vedas , it was tradition in which daughters who obviously had to marry would inherit some portable property like money and Jewellery whereas sons would get land and house. this was the concept of stridhan. Next the word kanyadaan also has no mention in Vedas. It's a cultural term absorbed into society. 😊
Shall we all take a moment to appreciate the host!!👏👏 Good work swaddle! keep going!👍 This society needs a lot of change and u guys r working really hard!
@@pranavaero your opinion but have you watched the content this channel makes and read their articles? It talks about things nobody talks about. A channel like this is exactly what people should watch.
@@pranavaero I don’t understand how they’re dogmatic. They simply put forward facts and talk about social problems. They’re using their voice to express what they think is right. You cant call them overrated just because you want people to watch a varied set of views. If you’ve watched their videos and dislike it, go ahead and stop watching it. Clearly, you keep coming back to the video to spread hate. Watch something you think fits your belief system. They’re only trying to spread awareness about socially affecting things.
@@vibha5509 I think holding a belief-system or a hardwired predisposition when it comes to imp social issues is the problem. And therefore they should present a more balanced viewpoint that also seeks to converge with the grey truth rather than peddle a hardlined view which sees the world in white/black. Im only proponing that viewers use discretion in such issues. Since I don't spread hate and instead substantiate my opposition with rationale, please see my other coment which expresses my objections to such a male-female dividing worldview. I'll paste here for your easy reference.
Simple solution - Remove men from being the legal providers or make both men and women as legal providers - Eliminate Alimony and child support - Punish those who give/take dowry - Make Domestic violence act accessible to men also - Let the couple decide where to live now.
I feel once you get married it's very difficult to get out if things don't go right n females are criticised for getting divorce and said that she could have compromised, but how long? My aunt did suicide last year because of her husband, and marriage to me is no longer a requirement qualifications of a woman in 20s or ever. We just kept on telling her to ignore them and keep hope and everything will be okay soon which never happened.
Talk about it! I can speak for this myself. My condolences to you for losing your precious and lovely Aunt to this institution, which should've celebrated love, but is unfortunately doing the exact opposite. I'm 22, & am going to take a divorce very soon. I got married in this lock down & am walking out of my 8 weeks old marriage. The society doesn't stop telling me that I should've compromised as the responsibility of protecting the institution of Marriage falls on the woman's shoulders. I said I couldn't have compromised on my dignity, my self-respect, my independence & my childhood dreams. They tell me I'm not a good wife/ not woman enough. That I should have patience and forbearance. That I should sacrifice my dreams in order to help my husband fulfill his dreams, cook for him, clean for him, bear him children, stay at home & raise them well- all by myself. I tell them that dowry was an issue too in my marriage, they say I should've silently suffered that as well, should've dealt with it on my own, shouldn't have involved my parents. I told them that I went into depression & felt suicidal, & am still battling it's after effects, they say I'm too weak & haven't been raised right by my parents, who are completely supporting me in my decision from the get-go. They tell me I shouldn't expect life to be a bed of roses. I ask them if I'm atleast allowed to expect my rights as a human first, & then a woman, to not be violated? Or is hoping to receive your rights the same as hoping for a bed of roses? Because if the equivalent of human rights or woman rights is a bed of roses, then I believe all humans, all women are worthy of, & deserve a bed of roses. My own personal plight has been solved, & I'm in a better place, mentally & physically. But I sincerely hope that this grace, mercy & kindness can be afforded by my sisters across the globe & that no more pure & innocent souls like your Aunty should be lost to this deeply embedded societal crisis. Amin.
@@niranjananair6216 thank you sister. That's really sweet and caring of you.Yes I'm coping well by the grace & mercy of the Almighty. Im definitely better off without the abuse I had to put up with:)
Whenever i have problems with my in laws all women tell me that every girl has gone through the same why am i making such a fuss? How do i respond to that
The fact that young women want stay out of marriage is bcoz of the structure of our marriage. Girls expected to adjust for her husband, her in-laws, her in-laws's in-laws, and the list goes on. And in most of the family girls pov's are not even heard. When an Indian household stoos hunting for a permanent maid and a machine to give child to carry their family name no women will feel the security they need be felt in marriage.
I m 30 nd single nd m pretty satisfied with mah life... I don't want any men in my life to enslave me or make me follow so called traditional beliefs like a woman should be the one to shoulder all the house duties whereas the man doing job if eight hours considers himself a soldier a warrior who does the most dangerous task nd need rest lollllzzzzzz 😜😜😜
Dear Team, This was insightful. Keep it up :) One suggestion - of possible, please execute a material on the ancient Hindu concept of "marriage". According to the vedas and the un-modified versions of Shastras, marriage has been always considered as a "pious concept" where initially spouses were considered equals. Sadly, these have been manipulatively implemented and have led to a toxic patriarchal society. But a well-researched videos can help in spreading awareness about the actual concept of marriage.
I love my parents because they never told me anything like this shit... About marriage,dowry, property,or any other stuff ....they love me and never wanna get rid of me.....they have a great faith on me .....even both of them had never showed their love to me but I know how much they care about me and they never compare me with my brother....never in our neighborhood one aunty use to teach her 10yrs old daughter to cook ,wash utensils ..and said that what..she will do after getting married so she have to learn how to wrk and do all stuffs...but I thank god that my parents are not forcing me to wrk they just teach me to cook so that i don't depend on others for this
Not in my case. My parents used to ask me once in a year and my No is everything for them. they never forced or give importance to marriage. I just married this year obviously Its a love marriage.❤️ I am thankfull to my parents for everything 🥰
Questions always comes in my mind . I think I got my ans . And I know it was all abt property . And why we don't get equal rights bcz we don't ask for the property from our parent Stop forcing arrange marriage on us - dear parents we don't wanna hurt u . And I never understand what's the role of the society why it always comes in between parent and child conversation .
Awsm vdo I always try to point out and try to get the answer of why a women leaves her house and has to travel to another house in the marriage like u wong heard that a boy left his parents and starting living with his wife's parents and if u will u will criticize the couple saying that the groom's parents are unlucky to get such a son and the wife is a wamp whereas when the wife leaves her parents for a man society don't feel that man as a wamp and don't criticize the wife for leaving her parents. This is how patriarchy has brain washed us. We all have been brain washed for years and now finally we are leaning towards a path full of equality and freedom 💯
@@aryanair1461 learning to mind their own business is a thing that is far away from their reach but why should this thing come to their mind I just don't understand this. I understand that it's because women were seen as a property and object so I got the answer but now it's not that way na and even a woman is also a human so why do they see woman as a property of her parents delivered to her husband?🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
@@bhavyjyotisharma3642 I suppose that people should come up solution that both groom and bride shouldn't leave their respective parents. Apart from being unmarried tho, I wouldn't leave my parents because my Dad and mom are old with diabetes, hypertension and potential risk to heart attack. But I definitely don't expect that a girl should leave her parents. After all parents are parents. Both families living with each other is not possible either. The only thought in my mind is staying away from marriage...do you have any idea for this?
99.9% somebody thinks their life is gonna be over if you dont marry.... May be 50 or 40.... not 99.9 😂 My sisters are doing their phd.... their parents are not grilling them at all.... Yet another feminist just over exaggerating a problem to be bigger than it is
I am 30 and unmarried. I am glad my parents never really pressured me to get married at the early age. My to be husband is all good about me not changing my last name. However your migration point striked me as I am going to transition.
Single men are crying in the comment section.... 😂😂 Already there is very few girls in india .... And those few too don't want to ger married.... Poor men 😂🤣🤣
Lol, in your dreams. These videos are usually watched by miniscule population and even then practiced by even lower set of women. Going against parents is a big deal and believe me, most women do want to get married
I am so grateful that my parents never stereotyped gender roles. My mom and dad both cook and do household chores. Everyone's opinion is respected at our home. I am 18 and my parents have always supported me to pursue whatever I want to.
This is such a great video..I landed here through an advertisement that I am glad I dint skip 😊 More power to you girl..great content. Every bit of it is true...mine was an intercast marriage out of my choice and it was not easy for my husband's parents to accept me..I am glad my parents always stood by my decision and so did ny husband.. I and my husband share all the household chores together as we both are working and. My in laws are not happy seeing their son doing household chores ( because now he his married and the wife is supposed to do the chores). I am so happy that he treats me like his wife and not a servant. But honestly speaking I don't see husbands around me like him..it's always the way you depicted in your video.. I hope this society evolves from the idea of "ghar ka kaam to ladki ki zimmedari hoti hai... Job karni hai to karo lekin ghar pehle dekho. Ye sab kaam beta thodi na karega "
Two working partner marriages will invariably fail. One has to work and the other takes care of the kid. A marriage needs at least one housewife or househusband.
But the sad reality they love to being objectified, I saw my female friends who have one primary goal in life like in Ekta Kapoor's serial that is to get married and for doing those house chores and child rearing duties their argue will be it's their duty after all. I'm 30 and it's mostly women around me who constantly try to brainwash me to get married not men. Editing this for the way liberate people like @Deepika Bayala I'm not against getting married or having children I'm against the norms of society which make women believe that it is their only duty and key to happiness, second thing is I'm against the girls continuously get brainwashed that getting married is their ultimate dream like there is nothing else in their life!
Its not happening deliberately, the society cultured them to think that way. Years would take for them to change their mindset but it is definitely possible!
how is someone wanting to get married and do household chores in any way wanting to get objectified though? you have the freedom of choice whether you want to marry or not, and it’s their freedom of choice to want to do the former. i’m a huge feminist myself and completely against patriarchy, and i believe that as long as it isn’t a compulsion forced upon them by the society, we need to respect other people’s choices.
@@girlie000 There is nothing wrong with getting married but their imagination of submissive role is problem, I mean by Ekta Kapoor's serial here is 'adarsh bahu' who tolerates all kind of mentality.
Good to see some sensible content on this topic. I'm really having bad feelings about the concept of marriage, itself. Can't find any suitable and sustainable alternative of it.
Honestly proud of being a malayali. No one has pestered me about marriage and everyone suggests finishing studies and being independent. A joke about marriage is also shooed away 😂.
Preach sis!!! 👏🏼 Great content!! This is called serendipity. I stumbled upon this video when looking for books and talks about how to be more progressive as a brown parent especially about topics like marriage. 🧡 We truly need more content like this especially in mainstream tv! So glad to find more relatable content 😄 More power to you sis!!! 🙌🏼 🥂
I'm 28 pursuing research. My parents have never bothered me for marriage. Yet. It's a privilege I enjoy owing to the society we inhabit. But I know of many many many women for whom it's a do or die situation no matter what education background or class or caste.
I don't usually click on ads but honey,you good! Keep doing them good works fam! Its refreshing to see that people are still going strong against all the messed up 'rules' and stereotypes. And this is totally besides the point but you look cute with your short hair btw (I sound weird lol)
It's such a good thing that we realised young how toxic our own home environments have been to us, and that it is on us to be responsible humans and bring on change!
My parents never forced me to get married...they always try to protect me from outsider's questions related to this matter.. I m now 27, unmarried, lead independent life.. I feel blessed to have such supportive parents..
Can a marriage be made feminist? It’s a lot of hard work, and research shows men are not as invested in the cause as their women partners are. Equality needs both people to fight for it, but if the status quo is benefiting one person, then they’re probably not fighting v hard. So, what now?
I've read many articles on how women in Korea and Japan are simply opting out of marriage - they've been raised to be financially independent, but men were not raised to share the workload. So these educated, working women have now realise that they stand to lose by getting married into families or to men who still view housework as the woman's job. It is not a beneficial move for the women, only for the men. You're right, if only women are invested in this, and men don't catch up, I guess something like this is the future - lottsa single people, fewer kids etc. 🤷♀️
We woman, will have to bring the change ourselves, when we are in the role of a mother/a teacher. I am a teacher myself, & a divorcee. I have spoken to many little boys(my students) about this issue, their take on it, & their thoughts are absolutely horrendous & ugly. I wondered where all of it was coming from, & I realised that the major chunk of the blame goes to their mothers for giving this direction to their mentality. Discrimination is something that women in our society are not only facing as wives, it all starts when they are daughters and sisters. So obviously if there is indeed a solution to this crisis, it has to be sought in the mothers & primary/junior level teachers, who have it in them to restructure distraught mindsets. Our educational curriculum needs to be modified to include training for household chores(which must be a combination of cooking & cleaning activities), as an extra curricular practical subject, right from the nursery level(we may start with non-fire cooking at the beginners stage) . It shouldn't be a voluntary elective, it has to be made mandatory(even if it means elongation of school hours, me must go for it, insert nap time after the lunch break to rejuvenate them to go on a little longer, that way their moms at home/work will also be a little less worried & will benefit by the evolution in their ward's personalities in the long run, when they don't have to be the only ones who do all the housework despite working outside,despite having various health issues and reaching old age). The marks/grades for this subject must be included in the report card, their performance in this area must influence their overall aggregate & also determine their promotion to the next level. This must be taught & regularly evaluated, along with a final 3 hrs examination at the end of the academic year. This must be obligatory till +2. So once they enter bachelors, they'll be all set to live their lives as equals, with the right headspace, hopefully, both men & women. Now this is just my personal opinion, as a divorced teacher, it may be flawed. You may share your thoughts on this & correct me if I'm wrong in proposing this.
My relatives are always like, why don't you do household work? Bro like wtf, my parents don't have any problem with me not doing household work then why do you have a problem, just because I'm a girl, everyone expects me to do household work, talk politely and stuff,my mom never told me to work an, she always encourages me to focus on study and I help her when she's sick. I want to shut the mouths of my relatives next time, can anyone help me with it? What should I reply them?🙂
@@yeelanma9165 women work day and night too and still get paid less, then why do they have to do household work too? Working hours of women are more than men, we need equality here, period.
We need to understand and engage with the inherent problems with the institution, because it is unfortunately an intrinsic part of how society functions.
Marriage is an institution where woman n man both contribute in their ways When woman takes care of home n kids, when she needs all support during pregnancy, Man handles all financial issues to support family So both are contributing We should respect woman's role but should not deny man's contribution too. Whenever we feel we can't take up that responsibility it's better to be single, there shouldnt be force
@@taylorswiftie3069 if both are working they can afford to keep a full time maid just like my sister working on big position in MNC have 12 hours maid to take care of everything Sad reality is feminist doesn't want to contribute in household and expect only husband should spend money and save for the future and also come home to share household work
@ULTIMATE MGTOW Feminism is still relevant in third world countries like India where women are treated inferior to the male counterpart and are restricted from making their own decisions. Look at the issue as it is.
@@onlyhuman5669 every family has different system, that we create. we can't blame only one gender... As a women I myself expected my husband should earn n I take other responsibility When I started earning, me too should contribute but he never asked money, whatever I do I do it from my wish N not only he all other males in family they have same ideogy.. If any misunderstandings are there all can be sorted if discussed properly Compared to other western n Islamic countries, women has better rights in India So Judging whole society based on few families is not correct
Uma barai thanks, atleast there is someone who actually understands the concept and equality in marriage. Looks like this channel is started by some frustrated feminist.
I'm a village girl from Haryana in my family maternal as well as paternal my father grandfather and my uncle's from both sides help the ladies in the home chors before they go to their regular work ( shops or job ) and this thing is normal in our household . all i can say is in society all kind of people exist.
Whenever my father comes home after his deployment usually after 4-5 months the kitchen is completely off limits for my mother... . . . . . And I just watch the societal norms breaking when my father brings the tea for guests lol and this rarely happens in anyone else's household other aunties get damn jealous🤣🤣🤣
An extremely overwhelmingly informative youtube channel i have ever come across... The issues which they discuss especially regarding society are on dot..👌👍👍
I am 25 and I have never had a conversation with my parents about me getting married , as their only concern lies with my studies and I personally don't think they'll mention this until I complete my PhD or until I am really successful in my career. In fact in my opinion you should only get married if you really like someone and want to be with them otherwise marriage is not a necessity but your own happiness is . I have decided not to get married ever unless obviously I find someone pleasing. I wanna spend all the money I earn on pampering myself and wanna lead a carefree life without responsibilities.