A conversation with Nathan Quarry (ex-JW, retired MMA fighter) 

I cried during the whole interview. First of all because it's the first time I've heard that someone tried to do the same as I did, "become invisible" within the family. That loneliness is huge. And on the other hand, my father got disfellowshipped and a few days later committed suicide. I can't say that getting disfellowshipped was the cause of it, but I know that in his head there was no coming back from that. Thank you both for this interview. It's healing to feel identified with others stories and knowing that things get better.

I was raised as a JW and this is my favorite interview I’ve seen on your channel. Thank you to both of you.

I quit going to meetings when I was 13 or 14. I am 38 now. I thought I was choosing a life in this system and I would die at Armageddon. I only started to wake up about 6 months ago when came across one of these videos.

Was already a fan of Nate back from his days on the Ultimate Fighter show, now an even bigger fan. So many parallels between our stories, losing loved ones to suicide because of the residual effects of this cult, wish you the best going forward Nate!

He puts the JW childhood into words so well so succinctly exactly what I have felt but find hard to put into words esp about familial conditional love and not having the confidence to try and fail at things knowing your family are behind you.

Best interview yet! He has gained a lot of knowledge, wisdom, & understanding. That one last part when asked about his message to his family just resonated with me. He reminds me exactly of my husband.

The anxiety of being a witness is so hard to deal with. But man it feels good when you start waking up. Finally having internal and external harmony without the constant guilt and worry

This story breaks my heart. This young man suffered psychological abuse. So glad he got a therapist who recognized he suffered from PTSD. Thank you for telling your story. We worldly people are actually quite compassionate, not at all what witnesses say we are. Hugs to both of you!

Excellent interview, love to Nathan and family 👊😊💛

What a great interview!! I’m very glad he is the man he is now!! He was very spot on everything he said towards the ending about being who you are and not letting an organization dictate your life.. thanks Lloyd for this interview 😊

Awesome interview guys!!!! I could relate to every single word this young man said. Honestly, this was a therapy session for me :) ....Much love to you both! ♡

Great work Llyod, you are making a difference. Excellent interview and powerful message near to the end from Nathan

I really appreciate Nathan's words. Hes a pretty awesome guy. Thanks for sharing Nathan.

I've got to remember to say that to my family! "You love conditionally. So, here's my condition: love me unconditionally!"

I loved Nate's fighting style and character. I watched him fight live a few times on the Gladiator Challenge and King of the Cage. Great human being. And of course on the Ultimate Fighter, and UFC. Thanks again Cedars for a great interview, much appreciated.

You are really a fighter inside and out, Nathan. I agree with everything you said, including thinking for yourself instead to look for another church. Thanks for this video guys!

This was an awesome interview man. Thank you so much.

Excellent interview- He has the correct frame of mind and yes, we who were raised as JW’s do have ptsd. After over 30 years out of the Borg, I am just coming to that realization- Thank goodness I have a good network of friends that I consider family. Even with family out of the truth, it is still difficult to connect if they haven’t realized the damage done to them when they were in- Thanks for all you do John!

It's great to see some one leave the Watch Tower and go on to create a life for themselves as opposed to staying in the Watch Tower and creating nothing other than Trauma, pain, fear and guilt. Its encouraging to see people rising above the stigma of shame that the JW Organisation inflicts on its members

I feel like I've just been put through an emotional rollercoaster. When you said that you are giving your daughter the childhood you wish you had had I just broke down and wept. The whole way through I felt like you were talking about my own life. Thank you for your honesty and candidness. Thank you!

I was a fan of Nate Quarry as a fighter, but after this interview I'm more a fan of him as a human. Thanks for doing the interview, John!

Great message to your jw family, Nathan. Wonderful interview - yet again, LLoyd!

Only 10 minutes and already blown away by this interview. Thank you both so much for doing this...what a mess we were born into with this religion

Thank you Lloyd for having Nathan on here, his story is common but good to hear how someone can rise above this deep pit JWs put us in. So encouraging to see him so happy now.

ABSOLUTELY AWESOME INTERVIEW! THANK U BOTH!

loved this interview. great guy and all the best to him

Nathan, the interview was very interesting indeed, really opened my eyes to some things I did not know, have a great life.

Such an ispiring and hopeful interview. Thank you.

The elders were cruel a**holes. So sorry, Nate.

Thanks for the video. Nathan’s story was amazing to listen too. I really enjoyed it. I love it when he said he was the “trunk” of his family and that his family are the ones missing out on a relationship with a great guy. Bravo.

Another excellent interview, Lloyd. Nathan, you're a great guy and you're right, it's your families loss if they don't want to be a part of your life.

This was an awesome interview! Nate the ROCK! He really explains well about the hypocrisy and conditional love in the jw cult. Also sadly suicide in the jw org. I am glad he is out of the religion.

What an awesome, charming guy! Thanks for the interview.

YES! A Nate Quarry ex-JW interview at dinner in Wisconsin on Monday night! GREAT start to the week! In 1998-1999 I nearly got disfellowshipped as well due to "fondling porneia" and "handjobs", with my fiancee as we were initially put on "private reproof" with "full restrictions" in November 1998, then extended again on our wedding day in May 1999 after getting dragged into a 3-hour Judicial Committee with my now wife after the Justice of the Peace ceremony in Chicago. Nate's 46 y.o. now? Wow, seems like months ago when he was MMA fighting. We're the same age! Stay as young as you can and enjoy life outside of the cult folks!🤣🕺😎 Those still in please start waking up and keep waking up. It's a process! Terrific interview Lloyd! Thanks for the passionate candor and raw history Nathan! I can only imagine how difficult it was being born-in, myself being a walk-in at 20 just awakened at 45! Blessings & Best to you both and your families! Dave in Wisconsin via Chicago

So cool - looking forward to another of your series of conversations, Lloyd. I'm setting time aside tonight . Your conversations with both men and women who have left JW organization are invariably inclusive, informative, respectful and empowering. You have a knack for drawing out the individual differences in your interviewees while also emphasizing their shared humanity. An ex-JW MMA fighter? You've got me hooked!

Very well said nathan...i went through the same....keeping a positive spirit.

Im an Ex Jw Witness and i been watching your videos for quite a while now and the stuff you been threw and how you just woke up one day is the same thing that happened to me

Of all the videos you have put out, Lloyd, this one hit home for me the most. I hid in my room as a teenager, got married to a JW at 16 years of age, and still hid out in my home for many years. I never understood the whys and wherefores of what I did, but since waking up totally about five years ago, I have finally figured out my antisocial behavior in the family. After being in the organization for 40+ years, I am much happier being out, despite the fact my father and my siblings choose conditional love towards me. Now I have my own family, all my kids are out, as well as my grand kids, because of the stand I took in leaving. So hard to do way back when, but a good life now with my own family! Thank you and Nathan for your discussion!

This video touched my heart and it has resonated in a way that shunned ExJw's can only REALLY understand. I haven't really gushed over your channel in awhile BUT you've been my mainstay for 3 years now. It's because of high quality videos such as this one. Nathan, you gave a powerful testimony and Thank You. You're Awesome💗🎯

This is by far the best interview I've ever heard on your channel. Thanks to you for bringing him to us and him for his amazing story.

This is by far my favorite interview you’ve had on your channel, Lloyd. This was not only a tear jerker for me, but very inspirational. Those closing words from Nathan made me pump my fist in the year and yell “Yeah!”

Awesome job, Nathan. I enjoyed your honesty in telling your story and all that you went thru. As a side note, my friend Din Thomas performs with some of my friends in our local improv community in South Florida. I’m guessing MMA is a “smallish” community and that you’d know who he is. If you’re ever in Palm Beach County, you’re welcome to come hang out with us at an improv show 😊. It has helped me heal thru all the shunning and pain from being raised in this cult - laughter is a great medicine.

Thanks for courageously telling your story. Your love for your wife and daughter is what makes you a man! The story of your friend Robert was a sad one without a doubt. I am so sorry for your loss. Keep living and loving life.

This hit so close to home. As a CoC child, I heard all the time that same verse: spare the rod, spoil the child. Spare the rod, spoil the child. I too remember hiding from my father, until I was fourteen i would get into a guarding stance anytime he walked past me, I would hide myself anytime he raised his hand near me. I cried. Thank you for sharing this.

Great interview.. thank you for mentioning Robert Follis... we were good friends for decades.. we helped each other get out of the organization in the early 90s... still grieving his loss....

Thanks Lloyd and Nathan, this has got to be one of my favourite interviews on this channel. Nathan, your message to your family was beautiful and poignant and yeah ok I cried a little. It really is their loss, we are awesome people in our own way! Also bravo for making something of your life, I exited in my late 20s eight years ago and I still don't know what I want to do with life and that sucks.

Mr. Quarry is an impressive person. He’s changed/improved my opinion of wrestling/fighters. He seems to really ‘get it’. Lloyd, you’re doing the good work. This interview has tipped me into becoming a Patreon. I’m not even an ex-JW, but had a relationship with someone who is. I’m also looking forward to buying & reading your books.

So many similarities we all share. Thank you for this interview. The "Struggle" we all have faced when leaving the cult is by design and intentional. Cutting off family for life. Current JW's still call it an act of "love". There could never be a more delusional statement made. Thanks Nathan for sharing your story, and to Lloyd for bringing it to us to hear.

Another interesting interview Lloyd. Thank you both.

Amazing those that "don't like i.e. thumbs down" don't comment..... One of these days the hypocrisy of the JW's will come out... and eyes will be opened.

I relate to his story about being an outsider in a new kingdom hall. I had noticed growing up a jw that when you go to another hall everyone looks at you with suspicion. My vision of going to new halls and making friends with Jehovah's spiritual people was always a disappointment because they aren't true spiritual people at the kingdom halls. Now I know.

You have done it again. This is the epitome of what can and does happen. I am glad he is living his life. Thanks

I really enjoyed this interview. Thank you Nathan for sharing. And thank you John Cedars for the work your are doing! I love that you incorporated freedom (Liberty) into your daughter's name. When I left I had the word "freedom" tattooed on my wrist as a daily reminder. 🌼

I remember watching Nate Quarry fight in the old days of the UFC....had no clue he was a Jehovah's Witness. Good Interview.

Now I know that it's OK to feel like we have JW PTSD. I had it at my mom's memorial service this winter & I've been out of the org for 32 years!

Happy your on a path to recovery. How disgusting that it was even a question that you could stay with your family during your torturous disfellowshiped state. When my sister was disfellowship we were not even permitted to talk to her at the dinner table. Your a valuable human being, love yourself. Sorry for all the hardships, I know they are real . Keep walking away, thank you for sharing.;)

Wow this is guy is DEEP. I think this is my new favourite interview.

Hello, I am enjoying hearing your interviewing. It's so awesome hear other kiddos who grew up this way and hear their struggles etc. This is a serious issue that ruins families. It is tragic and sad. Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking stories, it's common. I am so happy to hear.

Thanks for sharing your story Nathan. Wow...I'm glad you are living your life now.

I could watch this interview a hundred times. Thanks!

This interview is real spiritual food at the proper time for me. Thank you so much. You are really an inspiration, Nate.

Another great interview, very helpful. Thanks Loyd !

I really like hearing Nathan‘s stories. We’re the same age and I grew up not far from him.I particularly like his positive attitude of making a new life and family, and his no-nonsense attitude towards the old one.

I’ve been a fan of Nathan’s since “Truth be told”. 😁

It just makes me sick to hear of the suffering watchtower imposes on people for being completely normal. Self harm - I can relate. I used to cut myself. This story is touching and he is courageous to share it. Thank you Lloyd for another outstanding interview!

That is proof that the Elders are on “ Power Trips”.

Aw, he's such a sweet guy.

A couple of years back, Nate did an exhibition fight with a fellow who's only dream was to fight in a professional match. And this fellow had issues of his own to overcome. And Nate was the one that stepped up and gave him his dream and victory. You have my deepest of respects sir. There should never be a question as to your integrity as a person and human.

Fantastic interview! A lot of what nate said resonated with me or I could relate to through others I know who have shared the same traumatic experiences. Many thanks and much love to you both x

Amazing interview, straight from the heart. Helps us all to avoid judging the book by the cover. Theme of unconditional love is fantastic!

Thank you both and thank you Nathan for your strength. Our stories are similar, I saw you in Truth Be Told which helped me start this journey and you continue to be an inspiration.

Thank you for creating a platform for other ex JW to come and share their story. It makes me feel like my story also means something. Thank you!!

I am a Fan of Nate from his fighting days. I left the org at 15

Thank you for this interview! And thank you Nate Quarry! Its really made me believe it is possible to become a mma heavyweight fighter despite my late start!its great to have an mma fighter who was raised in the same religion to look up too!awesome video!

If my daughter was a mass murderess, I would sit at every court date behind her and be there at every visiting date at the prison. I would hate what she'd done but I still would love her!

Fantastic interview! Made me realize my own PTSD because of the JW watchtower-resiliency only goes so far.

Would love to see a follow up interview Nayhan is very relatable

Amazing interview.

A tremendously powerful interview, Lloyd. Nat’s ability to convey his pain and life should really speak to JWs on the edge or just out.

One of my favorite interviews... Great vid, Lloyd!

When I was studying with a JW, we knew an older guy in our neighborhood that was another Jehovah's Witness. He suffered from severe depression and started "slacking" with studies and meetings. I said that I felt so bad for him, but my bible teacher said "well I don't! He doesn't appreciate what he has with Jehovah. There's no excuse for him to act the way he does!" I found out he was being preemptively shunned. He looked so much more depressed as the months went by. He stopped shaving, he started drinking, and he was clearly in a lot of pain. He passed out on the floor in the supermarket one day, too. I think about him sometimes and really hope that he is okay.

Thank you, this was a very nice video! I am now attending the meetings with my children of 10 and 12 as a divorced, disfellowshipped father. Not because i want to go back, but because my children want to go to the meetings when they are with me. I don't live in the same city as my ex-wife, but i will never let go with my parents or any other jw, because i simply don't trust them. Good lord, what a weird situation. Luckily the shunning doesn't get to me anymore. Realising that i too have to practice unconditional love was key in my decision, i don't want to be the disturbing factor in their life. And they appreciate it. But i look at the future with angst, for what will happen when they decide they want to get baptised?

A very powerful interview. It's always terrific to hear a success story coming out of such dark trauma. Nathan is a great example. For anyone with concerns about PTSD or CPTSD, I can't recommend this book highly enough - 'From Surviving to Thriving,' by Pete Walker. Nathan brings out some excellent points about filling the void in our lives after escaping the cult. Also about the continuing fall out with family members both jw and exjw ones. It's potentially a minefield. Thanks Lloyd, fantastic interview 😀

Excellent, exposing the JW's. Good he's out.

I found this interview captivating! Thinking of my own son and imagining him grown like Nathan and having awaken and living a happy and meaningful life with a caring family! Thanks for sharing your story!

You're a great guy, Nathan! Thank you so much for sharing your experience.

Best Xjw interview I've ever heard.

Wow what a great interview that makes you realise there is light at the end of the rainbow

Awsome Interview.., I'm 34, was raised a witness. only realized this year that its not the truth. Relate alot to what Nathan sez

I am glad I finally watched this, I knew Nathan's family well as a child, not only were we in the same congregation as his family but we attended the book study held in his parent's home. I was one of the young boys in the congregation that was constantly warned against associating with Nathan (and occasionally his brother when he was reproved), the elders and my family quite vocally used Nathan as an example of how not to be a young JW. Our families were fairly close, however I didn't personally get to know Nathan, but his father did a lot of remodeling of my family home as well as my grandparents home (that'd be the JW way, hire each other's businesses) so I got to know him quite well. While watching this great and insightful interview, I realized that Nathan's experiences in the congregation were a massive red flag for me and helped me solidify my total lack of desire to get baptized. I started questioning when I was 6, had it mostly figured out that I wanted to leave by the time we moved into the Quarry's congregation when I was 9, but witnessing the congregation shunning Nathan was the final straw and I was mentally out by 11. Leaving at 19 was definitely a slow moving parade, and not being baptized has made it so I can still speak to my mother and father and believer sibling even all these years later, but my extended family including both sets of grandparents cut me out completely. Here I am now at 44, still daily battling the abuse and religious trauma that we born-ins may in some ways always battle during our lives. There is peace and freedom once you finally make the decision to walk away, but whatever you do dear XJWs, don't ever stop looking community and practicing unconditional love where you can.

Powerful. Thanks.

I love the part about not giving yourself a chance, getting out of one high control group, and often times going into another... its so important to figure things out without undue influence. This was a great interview!! Great advice to get out there and LIVE YOUR LIFE!!!

I understand why Russia considers JW as undesirables. Their policies on shunning proves they do not have the identifying mark of a Christian. I'm so glad that Jehovah Spirit has called me out and helped me leave this money for profit organization.

6:19 - I was disfellowshipped once during my life as a J-Dub and I kid you not, that's EXACTLY what I saw in the elder's faces. One of them was SMILING during all my 'confession'.

I like the honest of this interview and how simple organizacion rules make ppl suffering unnecessarily for life en many cases thx to both of you for share 🤗👍🏻

Being a teen in this religion is the hardest things ever.

Great interview

Chuck Swindoll says that "raise up a child in the way he should go" actually means "according to his bent" or according to his natural talents. It would mean bringing out the best in the child and allowing them to figure out how to be themselves.

This resonates soo much with me, grew up as a JW and expected to conform. Was an aux poineer for several months and really tried to believe. But the physical and mental abuse took its tool and i left in 85’. People don’t. Realize the damage it leaves you with afterwards, family strains and the mental challenges you need to overcome. I know have an amazing wife and a awesome son who will never experience that crap, but have had to deal with my issues still to this day as an ex JW. Alchoholic abusive father who never ever said he loved us or was proud of us EVER. Even on his death bed he would not say it. Used to say in his drunken stupors that we all were mistakes and not planned and beat us regularly. My mother never stopped him either, i left home at 14 and never went back. Tried to do what i could for him in his final years, but still would not show any affection. Even went so far as to say he would never accept my son as his grandkid. Thats what you go through as an ex JW.

Great interview. I watched and cheered for Nate while he was in the UFC. I was not aware he was raised JW. Jesus loves you my brother 🫶🏼✝️☝🏼