A Crap Guide to Final Fantasy XIV - Magic DPS 

We have an ARR event every expansion and then we play a completely different game

You can't tell me to learn how to play my class if the game doesn't know how it wants me to play it either! HAH!

A pet class on par with WoW Warlocks, except XIV decided pets are gone now.

how do you get something other than a carbuncle?

You don't. Carbuncles are better. Be a true summoner main and make all your summons Carbuncles.

I once got six commends as a summoner in Crystal Tower for shitposting in alliance chat for the entire raid. I died, like, three times because I was busy typing. Best commends I’ve ever gotten.

Black Mage: Sucks it

Cries in Viera caster

DNC has a shortcut to get 1 commend through Dance Partner. Only the one though

Big-ass hats, or big ass-hats?

amen to that

yes

Patreon supported I hope....plus viewer submitted skills

Hear hear!

Agreed lol

the real reason to learn self destruct is to cheese the kugane tower climb with a buddy who is really good at it

Finally the lamp post will stop tormenting me

@@SephirothsBIade why stop at the lamp post? i had my buddy take me all the way up the tower with self destruct rezzing

@@Tnt0Tony0Tnt you need to climb the tower to get to the lamp post. but the top of the tower is not visible while running through the town

@SephirothsBIade you can self destruct and get rezzed right onto the lamp post. and you can also self destruct and get rezzed all the way up the tower as well(it just takes like 20 rezzes to slowly make your way up there)

It's a good thing I'm a masochist!

> Make sure to thank them but only commend the healers, as is tradition. *cries in Red Mage*

@@warlock415 ahh yes...the red mage dichotomy. save the run, but get none of the coms. feelsbadman.

@@Xenmaru00 Yup. Break rotation to raise one healer, burn swift to raise the other, one throws LB3. ... afterwards it's "Hero healer! Clutch LB3!"

@@warlock415Us red mages have to live in solidarity

I learned this on accident when I put comfort emote on my hot bar so I could easily get rid of the misery debuff.

oooo thats a great way to learn the timing :D

I just wait untill the bar is about over the first number in the cast bar txt, but that's neat to know.

@@WarrenGarabrandt yeah but how often does that debuff come up? Hell, it's a rare dungeon that I can even use Esuna.

@@KMCA779 As far as I know, and I would need to check to make sure, esuna does not cure misery. Besides, that's one more GCD I can be casting broil.

Of course it almost killed you, you're a Dragoon.

your* death

ok

ok

As a Dragoon for life, RDM is my side job that I use when I’m maxed out in DRG. Because of that backflip I can continue to fall off the platform of the final horror boss in the Amaurot dungeon.

looks at the DOH/DOL jobs

ok

I wonder if he'll do videos on crafting and gathering jobs too? Because i'm of the opinion that EVERYONE should get roasted in this game and i'm waiting for my turn lol

Omyoji the caster from the east And whatever the hell gosetsu is now

In which Fanfest literally came in with another magic ranged DPS.

...Republic Dominican, Cuba, Caribbean..

@@warlock415 Greenland, El Salvador, too!

@@romie233 Puerto Rico, Columbia, Venezuela, Honduras, Guyana and still

@@updateguypls1088 Guatemala, Boliva and then Argentina and Ecuador, Chile, Brazil!

I'm going to need a full version of this song now that includes the new spells, lol

I think I'm like the only one who is kinda fine with the old school fire rotation. Optimizing fire starter and thundercloud procs, etc.

Shortest for me because I paid Yoshi-P a tithe for him to answer my prayer of getting this shit job over with. Best money ever spent. I can wait for the next level cap increase.

I actually found the BLM levelling fun. I am a huge BLM fan. It could be the fact I don't really have to focus and just spam buttons.

I did this whole process and then a week later I was looking at ARR relics and was like, "Hmm... Black Mage's relic is probably the coolest one. How bad can it be? I'm level 90 I can just swiftcast 1 shot all the bosses and stuff now, right?" And then I realized that 90% of the grind for ARR relics are level synced at below level 30 and I went through all that pain and suffering all over again. And now I main bard because I have a cool flute

👍

Hi

Good

Wow

Nice

Samurai is just a spellcaster with a really sharp sword.

I didn't realize Summoner had that many hard casts.

Summoner has 3 casts a minute with one being swift cast, Samurai has a cast every 2 -11 actions. comes out to about the same really. @@Tibbroar

@@MaelraJadeSummoner has *four* hardcasts per minute. Two ruby rites, slipstream, and a ruin 3 cast. That last one is a pretty fast cast, but still slower than Iaijutsu. But yeah, they come out to a similar number of casts. If anything, SMN is easier because you can choose to rearrange those casts a lot more freely.

I thought I was the only one to notice this xD

I was about to say, that non-gold 70 only happened yesterday (as of this post), so yeah, super recent!

When your coursework is due in the next day but you've not started it yet.

He tweeted about it the night before the upload asking for footage of a few spells, so you're not wrong!

This comment needs more upvotes! Full length blue mage song if possible please!

Is probably already in the works. I mean, he did the same thing with spooky slice for melee deeps, right?

I was going to post a simple 3 word request for a full Blu Mage song but it self destructed...

"And now, the entire Blue Mage spell list, brought to you by... JoCrap!!"

@@skybasegamer5829 Then why is the video still around?

It's basically just the same snap mechanic that happens with AoE attacks from enemies. If you can learn the feel of that, then slide-casting is the exact same process, except you start the thing.

Too fucking often. :(

I didn't have words for how I've been feeling this week, but now here we are. Maybe things are looking up?

According to my most recent psyche eval it's called suicidal ideation and it's "a bad sign"

Thancred is a millennial.

It can still be smaller than .5s . Mine is typically .35s. it may be consistent for you, but it's based on your latency

ok

yeah the timing can be wonky, having emotes in ur hotbar can help you get the hang of it tho, cause when they light up is around the same interval for slidecasting

if you stop moving before the castbar is done you don't clip and clipping isn't the worst thing in the world anyway since the only one of those jobs that really has to worry about it is blm and blm has to clip sometimes anyway for weaves since using an instant for every weave isn't always viable

If i recall, the reason why slidecasting times are different is in part due to latency with higher giving more time and lower giving less.

My brain had picked up that it was a reference and I knew what it was, but I didn't have enough braincells to connect it to ZP.

im too dumb, why exactly he is using that reference?

@@thebevil8127 He’s making fun of bosses for not getting out of the circles of death the mages can throw up, but the joke is that there are many players that will not get out of the boss’s circles of death. There’s a phrase “People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones,” which basically means that “Everyone sees you have the exact same problem, so you shouldn’t pick on other people for having the same problem as you.” The Zero Punctuation reference comes from an episode where Yahtzee makes a comment about living in a glass house and engaging in “projectile mineralogy.” It’s the “glass houses” phrase, but written differently with a wink-nudge self-awareness. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

​@@playALLth3gamesexcellent job breaking down each piece

Now to think of it, this series is zero punctuation but better written and far more creative. ZP has been running for over a decade and the formula has gotten so stale. Meanwhile jo at does a ton of art and musical stuff in his videos too.

Aether skate is both a movement tool and a threat.

shhh, don't tell anyone that black mages are actually super mobile

@@cyan_2169 ....eventually

Healers adjust

@@cyan_2169 Pretty sure they're the most mobile. They get more instant casts per minute on average than red mages and summoners do. The only difference is that red mages get it every other spell so they're mobile more often, whereas black mages get big bursts of mobility.

This is 100% correct

Its hard being a blue mage, its hard and nobody understands

BLU is kind of weird. Your level caps out well below everyone else's, you have to suffer to learn any of your spells, you're not invited to any of the good parties, and you are entirely capable of soloing any dungeon with the right build. Properly specced, a BLU is the most powerful class in the game by a huge margin. Too bad you almost never get to actually use it.

@@Firehawk376can’t even MSQ with it

BLU can be fun for some content. I remember there was some event and people were going through a particular dungeon as fast as they could to maximize efficiency. 3 BLU and a tank was very good if your BLU had the right spells. Could kill large groups of enemies quickly, kill two of the bosses in seconds and the last boss was relatively quick if you knew what you were doing. BLU is also good for FATE farming for much the same reasons.

Yeah, we do all that work and get no commendations. This is why I don’t hesitate to commit Verflashbang.

@@RJ.the.artist I laughed a little on that.

Red Mage more like Rez Mage.

Oh god, what did I get myself into by learning Red Mage?

@@catdaddy294 Being the only dps who has to help with heals. That's what.

Self destruct is pretty much THE Blue Mage party trick. It's not uncommon to see a BLU wander into a group of people standing around in a city and just detonate for no fucking reason. After that, it's a race to see which of the nearby healers can get to you first. Fun times for all.

​@@Firehawk376 It's good for that! When I'm running stuff with my friends, it's become tradition that, when someone has to leave, rather than using Return, they switch to BLU and self-destruct.

My favourite hobby projectile mineralogy.

Here's a clipped version of the reference for those not in the know ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-hFs7jkSG3mk.html

Oh yeah, that does sound like something Yahtzee would say.

Projectile mineralogy!

I know right, I saw that and immediately went to the comments to see if anyone else got it

Leveling BLU is easy lmao; just go out into the highest level wilderness you can handle as a BLU and consign some poor species to extinction as you ruthlessly slaughter them over and over again!

For now! 😈

A new challenger approaches!

There's still gatherers and Crafters. I dunno how he could pull it off, but if he ever decided to...

@@sixthcairnI’d honestly be surprised if he decided to do gatherers/crafters. I’d also laugh if he decided to do one for savage/ultimate raids but I get the feeling this was the last one.

I don't doubt we'll see another crap guide series someday but god only knows what and when. I'm very curious to see which direction Jo is going to go now 👀

Time for a Crap Guide to FFXIV: Raiding.

Oh is he not doing any more crap guides to anything after this one?

Did you notice 4:48?

@@warlock415 I'm just noting the good timing of the video's release. Of course I noticed!

Back when I was new to the game, (and a lot dumber), and in the ARR era before any of the expansions came out, I was determined to play a pure Arcanist instead of upgrading to summoner or scholar, since part of what made me want to play the game was the arcanist class and the carbuncles, while both SCH and SMN lost them. At the time the way the cross class skills worked made it where you could customize a bit more and there was a few benefits to staying in a base class instead of a job, (though the loss in dps wasn't worth it at all). It let you build a more "jack of all trades" play style rather than fitting as purely into the main roles, kind of like Blue Mage, but still being able to queue for runs. So obviously, there were issues. I ended up using the topaz carbuncle all the time back then and depending on the party I was in they either loved it or hated it, because if the tank went down she was always there to pick up the slack, but if the tank wasn't too competent then she'd take over and cause chaos. The runs were definitely slower, and obviously looking back on it I know I was a bit of a menance as a result, but it led to some fun times. I remember having times in the 24 player raid where the tanks would die and my little carbuncle would end up tanking the final boss for the rest of the run. There were runs I got kicked for over it, but there were also runs where I got commendations and people had a lot of fun, so ultimately while I'd never do it again out of courtesy, even if it still worked how it used to, I don't regret it in the least and those are still some of my fondest memories.

You are the ideal Blue Mage

The BLU job stone is just Gremlin Energy condensed into solid form, and you understood the assignment :D

I love it too! I'm not nearly good enough at it to get the Morbol mount, but I have a lot of fun hunting down new spells, and then ANNIHILATING FATEs with them.

Yeah, it sucks after level 30 or 40 or so but before that it's one of the best spells you have access to.

​@@Zanadorand it isn't nerfed by mighty guard either as it's fixed dmg

Puppet's Bunker killed my mana as smn. The amount of healers I had to rez was insane.

Heal me or I will make sure to have strangely already used my swiftcast if you go down - Your Summoner

Hey hey hey, don't make me turn off Tank stance and let the boss come after you both. -Your Tank

As a BLU I counter with literal 'stand in fire, DPS higher' thanks to Cold Fog.

As a Red Mage I'll just do your job for you and still do more DPS. But if you don't heal me, you won't get a rez when your pinky toe grazes an aoe and you drop

@@HimitsuYami And we'll steal their LB as well. It's the Red Mage way.

Mr. Ornitier is best existential crisis boy.

DA BABY!!!!!

There's a reason my Red Mage has a customized Rez Macro. "Red Mage Rez Machine go Brrrrrrrr..."

@@maracaegrizzley8734 One of those things where you hear people talking about it being a thing, you go "I can do that?" Then you get to the right level and you discover you CAN do that. And not gonna lie, getting to go "I said EVERYBODY LIVES" at the boss and yank both healers back up, then successfully finish the raid, is some of the most satisfying fun I've had in XIV.

@@Pyre Yup. There's a very good reason why Red Mage and Summoner are *both* high on my list of preferred jobs to play. And if I'm going into content during Release Week that I haven't been through? And sometimes even if I have? I tend to default to Red Mage just so I can pick people back up again. Granted, if I'm having a Bad Brain Day, I'll turn to Machinist so I don't have to deal with the Responsibility, but Red Mage is *awesome* fun when getting to save the run.

Each person has to change it so you can have smol summons but everyone else could have huge ones (and you can change it per summon)

Heck, i almost cant see already during fights. I will have to turn the Summons down when i reach a High level in the job

Hate to break it to you, but if you set your summons to the proper (aka BIG :D ) size, your teammates stay unaffected. This setting is only applied on your end and counts for all summons, from yourself and others. So you can't troll teammates with big Garuda boobs unless you tell them "/petsize all large" makes them disappear, which is... hard to sell.

I just want a BEEG Carby...

2:05

MAIN Blue Mage?! WHY?!

You some kinda masochist?

Blue mage seems cool tbh

Main Blue Mage where?

@@hmmmooops Main Blue Mage that has many one-shot moves :D

caught me off guard but gave me some nostalgia

So you're that SMN that jumps in to my leylines and then fills my screen up with Titan's massive butt and makes me not see the boss aoe that is aimed right at me and makes me take the hit. I mean, I wouldn't have moved anyway 😅, but I would've at least put up my barrier.