Growing up watching movies of where there was beautiful dinnerware , and even in our everyday lives to give to newlyweds, I hoped for china. After 10 yrs of marriage, I could finally buy a set (not common in Japan at that time). After using them only once or twice a year for 25 yrs (always ended up using paper ware), my local church held a wedding and reception and asked for dinnerware. When they tried to return them, I got the bright idea to donate them along with the linen napkins! Win, win🏆
Because we were so poor for the first 6 years of our marriage and then had multiple children after that, the fancy dinnerware wasn’t part of our startup, it was my fantasy. Then, decades later, I finally was finally able to purchase it and was ready to live my dream! However, life changed dramatically on a dime and I have to downsize to 450 sq. feet for myself and my husband. Letting go of what took me decades to acquire has been the hardest thing for me. Even in my tiny home I keep trying to fulfill that fantasy by buying more elegant dinnerware that I will never use. If I’m honest, none of our family or friends even like those types of dinners in our homes. Those are special occasions for eating in a posh restaurant. Just writing this down has opened my eyes and mind to this reality. So liberating!!
That’s a great insight to realize! What once was typical entertainment - fancy dinner parties - is now hardly done at all. Most eat at restaurants, you’re right. Our culture has shifted and you can now shift with it. Good for you!
My mother in her 80s has multiple sets of dinner plates, some inherited from her mother some collected like ‘Denbyware’ which I dislike. She lives alone and its not needed v often. She had such a strong drive to collect dinnerware, ornaments, furniture & plants. I grew up with that as my normal. My house is cluttered after years of having that ‘collect quality items and save for the future’ mindset but now in my 50s I want to have a more minimal mindset. I don’t like the heavy feeling of all that stuff holding me down & stuck in the past.
Just heard the end of this episode about having issues letting go of craft items that represent possibilities. I found a really satisfying solution for a lot of the quilting materials I am no longer using. There is a private Facebook group for my street. I posted that I had fabric panels to give away and I found a woman who lives three houses down, who I did not know, who makes quilts and she was thrilled to receive those panels and some other quilting materials. So I got rid of a bunch of stuff to a good home and met a fellow crafter who lives three houses down!
I agree with the comment about "forgiving yourself" if you don't get it all done. Celebrate the small victories. I only eliminated 2 boxes over Labor Day Weekend because I ended up having to deal with a dead car battery. Two boxes is better than none but I'm back at this weekend and listening to this before I get started is inspiring. I appreciate Gayle's comment about being the end of the line and by not doing it themselves, my family members gave me permission to make the decisions. That's exactly what I am going to do! Thanks!
Just cleared housemate's six foot desk (asking him about each thing including one paperclip) so he now has room for both this split kepboard and one-piece keyboard and other stuff
Earlier in the year I did a major declutter. I was inspired by books I'd read and RU-vid videos I'd watched on the topic. I gave it all to the charity shop. I couldn't believe some of the things I gave away. Lucky the people who bought those things. But as the months are rolling by I'm finding that clutter is slowly seeping back into my place, especially books (which has impacted my savings). I am very angry at myself for buying more books I don't really need. Why am I gathering more things? It's ridiculous what I am doing. I even have my eye on a couple of pre-owned books I want to buy with my next pay. It's like I have to have those books, no matter what I or anyone else says. This need is very strong. Do you have any tips or suggestions about how to stay decluttered? I'm good at decluttering, it's the staying disciplined and decluttered that's the tricky part. Thank you : )
Libraries have really helped keep the amount of books I have at a manageable amount. If I get really interested in a topic, I can take a whole load of books out and by the end I'll likely have had my fill and have moved on to the next exciting topic.
I sometimes get what sounds like a very nearly identical feeling ~ that nothing will stop me from acquiring an item that seems in several ways (usually) to be "perfect", "necessary", and it seems like the exact right time to get it. The only way for me to reduce or eliminate these "passions" is to not go into stores, just avoid them, and to not go onto online ads or online shops... By the way, the more disposable cash I know I have, the more money I will feel "passionately" I need to spend. I'm convinced that my "gut" or "unconscious" is denying me financial control and security, both of which my "brain" SAYs I really do want!
I have some similar struggles. I am trying to see if I can uncover what is beneath this desire to acquire books. For example, I notice I collect in a certain genre, like travel books. I really want more of that in my life and these books are a symbol of that. I also collect organization/decluttering books and materials. I've made much progress in implementing changes (including through Clutter Fairy--thank you, Gail!), but much remains to be done. Sometimes the desire to buy comes when I am feeling particularly low about myself; upset, anxious, angry, jealous. Those are often triggers for me to comfort myself with a purchase of something, to distract myself from my uncomfortable feelings (esp. loneliness, in my case). To be honest, the purchase does help, temporarily. I enjoy especially the anticipation of waiting for the package to arrive, like Christmas morning all year long. That is one other reason I overbuy; my life is pretty boring and predictable right now. But these positive feelings do not last, and run up my budget so I feel guilty, and that problem or feeling or desire for something more remains. However, just being aware of why I'm doing this, just observing myself, has helped. I can journal about what I really want. Or pray. Or talk to a friend. Or turn off the computer and take a break from looking and wanting. Some times that is enough. It is a day by day battle. Best wishes to you for 2024.
I don't know, I think previous generations might just as well be looking on and feeling sorry for us not having homes that are stable enough to care for antiques and historical items from the family.
yes, the ghosts have all fainted onto the velvet fainting couch and are fanning their faces, when they see the housing costs and how we are all renters now. I have the silverware and no dining room table, so unlike my growing up in a big old house
My father has two sets of dinnerware. He wants to stop at Replacements on a drive down South and sell them. I asked if I could have them about a year ago. Now I'm thinking 🤔 about it again.
Grateful house was organized and clean when my Covid hit a few weeks ago. when well . Enough, I. Have clothing to drop off. son left me with snacks I can eat while he is away in Denver
Large sets of china - My mother and her two brothers all had matching china, each with 8 place settings, so for Passover and Thanksgiving, collectively there was always enough for the 16 or more people who came. Or for a big buffet party whoever was hosting could retrieve some china for the others.
