Mood swings are a tough thing to deal with, especially when you're a young man trying to find his way in the world. Life is a whole lot of swinging though and really, it is better than just sitting still in the middle. Be sure to feel your emotions the whole way through. Cry if you need to. Laugh your head off if you feel like it. If you're nervous, if you're envious, if you're angry, whatever the emotion is just be sure to feel it the whole way through. And keep tabs on the thoughts that come with them. They might be good memories, they might be bad memories. They might be thoughts of what could have been and they might be thoughts of what is yet to be. Videos like these are good. It's almost like a bit of a diary I guess (diary might sound a bit girly but hey who cares haha). Don't delete them cos they'll give you a good reference as time goes on. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders mate, so keep it on there. Try to find the little nuggets of commonality between yourself and others and you'll find that, as dark as it can get, you're not as alone as you might think. And I'm sorry to hear about your old man. He might not have been a saint, but few are. Best we can do is learn from them. What to do and what not to do. Be of good heart. The fight is worth it.
Hey man, just got your video in my feed and it instantly spoke to me. Just wanted to let you know that I also have attachment issues as well and I know exactly how it feels to put all of your energy and worth into someone. It’s exhausting and it drains your battery quite quickly. And one thing about going out there again, the boring small talk, I feel you 100% on that one! But I suggest you give it a few more tries, doesn’t even have to be in a coffee shop, a walk in some random park is way better and it doesn’t feel so closed in. But please don’t buy that gun, you don’t know how much better life can get. You seem like a mentally strong person and I really hope you start treating yourself better. Thank you for the video, love from Norway
Omg I wasn’t even three whole minutes into your video and realized what you are saying resonated with me, but by the end of your video it sounds almost like we lived the same life experiences. My dad was also a pessimist and meth addict so he wasn’t ever around I am also 30 and really never got to know him. I also had friends who were always busy and we grew apart and I just got through my teens and twenties getting stoned every day so I wouldn’t do anything to myself. I deal with abandonment issues and become too attached to people and it ends up hurting myself more in the end.I have been screwed over so many times that it makes me have trust issues with new people, yet I want to meet new (good) people.l feel like a hypocrite for saying this because my head also goes to dark places, but don’t do anything to yourself. You seem like a really cool guy and you just need to meet decent people to hang with. A huge part of people suffering especially in our country is a disconnect from our culture(s). I am mostly Celtic/german but am also Snoqualmie Native. I can see you are also Native. It has helped me in my dark times to learn about my tribes culture and history and knowing that when I am struggling my ancestors are with me. I don’t know if you still have knowledge/connection to your roots but you should explore that and it will give you comfort. Try to find community and knowledge of traditional healing methods like sweat lodge.I have a lot of trauma myself and am looking forward to the day I can participate in a sweat lodge ceremony. I hope this helps keep your head up my relative. Feel free to message me back if you wish.
I think you can do it, man. There's really no solution to what you are experiencing. Only that the work and effort you put in to accept the bad days, at the end, the good days will be well worth going through the bad days.
