A Portland couple tried in vain to get their son mental health treatment. Then, he killed his mother 

Watch Part Two of the Uncommitted series here: How Oregon effectively criminalized severe mental illness ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-iO4UfSqrDTI.html

If a doctor and an attorney can not get mental Healthcare for their child any other parent has zero hope 😢

Years ago, I told my therapist that no one cares about mental health until someone dies. Sadly, nothing has gotten better.

You didn't fail, Sir. You guys did everything you could. The system failed.

My heart breaks for this poor man who lost his beautiful wife so tragically. Having been a mental health provider for 40 years, we must face the fact that our great experiment of de-institutionalizing those with mental illness has failed miserably. We need to admit this in order to make a broad and sweeping systems changes that will keep people safe.

“You shouldn’t have to commit murder to get mental health care.” Oregon failed this family and should be held accountable. I’ve lived here my whole life, and the atrocities I’ve seen the state enact through blind indifference is astounding and disgusting.

I'm in tears when he said his son strangled his wife to death. My prayers go out this husband and father. I pray he finds healing.

It’s not just Oregon, it’s everywhere. If your child is an adult there is precious little you can do to actually get them the help they need. Believe me, I know. My heart breaks for this family.

I hope the family sues the state of OREGON and the JUDGE who refused to commit him!

Schizophrenia starts in late teens, early 20s generally speaking

Tragic. My mother was treated terribly by my mentally ill brother. She finally got a restraining order. Sold her house and moved across country.

This is not an isolated story. Something similar happened in Berkeley years ago. A mentally ill young man killed a man at his home. His parents talked about all they'd tried to do to get their son help. But he was an adult who could check himself out of the mental hospital after 72 hours. And he couldn't be forced to take medication. Their hands were tied because no one could "force" him to submit to treatment. This is such a tragedy!

Sir, you and your wife did not fail Austen, the system did. My heart goes out to you, and hopefully this horrible event will bring some positive change to people like your family and son.

This makes your heart break and your blood boil at the same time.

The mental healthcare system in this country is 100% broken. No one notices a change in a person's mental health better than direct family members. My mother developed acute psychosis in 2021. It was the most frightening thing that I have ever witnessed. We could get no one to believe us or admit her until she was almost at death's door. I was literally crying and begging the ems to take her. I say this as a RN and from personal experience. The mental health system needs to be totally dismantled and rebuilt. My heart goes out to this dad.

That happened to a friend of mine. His brother kept slipping through the cracks and not getting the help he needed for schizophrenia. He ended up killing his mother and now is spending the rest of his life in the psych ward in prison. This could’ve been avoided had he have gotten the help he needed. The family tried and tried to get him help.

The first time my fiancé attempted suicide they sent cops who shot him multiple times with handgun and shotgun nonlethal rounds. The cops were laughing, acting like they were sport hunting. They let him out of the hospital 3-4 hour later…The day he succeeded in his attempts, he called White Birds Crisis line. I spent YEARS trying to get him help. My best friend I had had known since I was 11. He was failed by the Oregon State Child protective services, the Oregon state foster care system, the Oregon Justice system, and the post prison system, and finally tue crisis system. The majority of his depression stemmed from abuse from foster care.

I don't understand how they found her dead and didn't see that she'd been strangled. I wonder what they thought she died of.

2003 my brother ended his life. There's been no solution for some time now. He had threatened to kill my folks, so I told my folks, but my brother never forgave me. I was afraid. He cracked one day, but took his life. He was failed

Absolutely shameful. Those doctors that deemed him a non threat need to be investigated themselves. That family deserved so much better.

I have no addiction issues and have no criminal history but it has become impossible in Oregon for me to get appropriate services. I’ve been struggling for 30 years.

Wow! He’s a lawyer and she’s a doctor and they couldn’t do it!

It’s time to get our mental institutions back.

To deny treatment for a mental health issues is inhumane 😢

My daughter was not able to get care at all for her now diagnosed Schizophrenia until she violently attacked my husband, her own father. After that, she was able to get diagnosed. That's here in Ohio.

My heart goes out to this man. I'm so sorry for your loss. I had two brothers who required hospitalization. It was hard.

He never should have been sent home

I volunteered in a locked forensic unit for young adults like Austin, with psychotic disorders. Most had committed violent crimes against their own family members. Often it was the only family they had left, their greatest protectors & carers. Their family would battle for years to get their kids (almost always, sons) the help they needed. Also failing whereupon during a psychotic break, they killed their Mother/father/both etc. 17-25yo is classic time for psychotic disorders to make themselves known, particularly in early college. They’re already ill, but it’s subtle. But away from home, under huge stress, new environment….it stops being subtle. I can’t overstate how heart broken I am for this man, for his beloved wife, and for Austin. Psychotic disorders are a lightning bolt which (generally) strike young men, just as their lives are beginning. You don’t get a say in the matter, it can’t be counselled out of them. You depend on anti psychotics (if they work), the law, and the healthcare system. One kink in the chain and it all goes t*ts up. Such a mongrel of a disease.

It's not that they couldn't get him mental health care, it's that they couldn't do it involuntarily. They couldn't get it made mandatory, and with voluntary treatment you are able to leave.

This sounds EXACTLY like my son. He is 26, and despite him running a cop off the road the other night while actively hallucinating and driving without a license, the police refuse to say he needs help. I don't know why a bunch of 20-something kids working in the backwoods of New Mexico with 10 hours of mental health instruction are making treatment decisions about my son!!!!

What? At first the police didn't suspect foul play? Another failure, the signs of strangulation are very clear. The whole situation was disgusting!

Absolutely crushed for this family. We are seeing the results of a steady and steep decline of mental health social services funding. The thresholds for commitment are unreasonably high and it doesn’t really matter because there is no place for them to go anyway.

My heart goes out to this poor man, I totally agree , I am a nursing sister in South Africa, I have a 35 year old some with mental illness, 2 weeks ago he tried to commit subside, I could not get any help for him, if he won’t agree to have treatment, he doesn’t consider himself mentally ill but cannot look after himself, the laws regarding mental health is so crazy that either an innocent person has to die first or they destroy the family and kill themselves but no one and I mean no one listens, it’s so very sad it’s like we live in the dark ages.

You didn't fail Dad. I'm on the precipice atm with my son, I'm so scared to not do the right thing. How do I open the dialogue with him, so aware that every word could close a door to him ❤

I heard another story just like this from New York. It was some socialite couple and their son killed the father. They also had the means but endured the same roadblocks as this gentleman. We must make mental health services available to everyone.

My local mental health rolled their eyes at me when I explained why I attempted to unalive myself. They didn't care at all. Not one bit. You have to pay so much just to get real mental health care in America.

I worked in a busy ER as an RN for 20 years. So often we'd get mental health patients begging for help, or others begging for relief and sending them in to us. We'd get them evaluated and either release them or get them petitioned for inpatient treatment or some would go voluntarily. What was the outcome from that, I don't know. I remember with President Regan closed the mental health hospitals in mass, and moved the patients to the streets, it's been a war zone ever since.

My brother was attacked, he bled profusely. Blood was coming out of his ears. He refused help, when the Ambulance came. When we arrived at the scene, they told my mother she couldn't force him to go to the hospital, and left. The second ambulance came, persuaded him and he went. Got there and discharged himself later on, while he was still bleeding. My mom was helpless. He was clearly not in his right mind, due to the head injury. Luckily he survived, and moved to a safer area. Why can't they just let the parents decide, if the child is not capable of making a sound decision. It's their child after all.

People that are suffering delusions, paranoia and/or hallucinations should not be free to roam the community. They are a danger to themselves and others despite the opinions of the medical people who don't want to care for them because they can't make money on these patients.

In Wisconsin, parents with teens struggling with mental health or AODA issues cannot force their kids to get treatment. 14 and up have to consent so parents just have to watch their kids spiral out of control.

Psychosis is real....my husband went through it, but as soon as he said "if you were not my kids mother, I would kill you". And that's when I took him to the hospital. It was crazy, the nurses asked him a couple of questions and just took him from me. I didn't even get to say goodbye. His words/actions said it all....Even though he said he would have killed me, the fact is that he never stopped loving his kids. Kept talking to the doc/nurses about his kids. He gushed about them and shared his memories of them as babies, toddlers, kids, etc. Most painful part is that he didn't know who I was, cried numerous nights, told him i love him, he couldn't say it back...brought him food everyday, hospital said i can't contact him. When he was out, they collected all the foods I gave him and gave it back to me. We still have a long way to recovery, almost one year but he's doing better. He remembers me but he still isn't how we were as a sweet loving couple that showed lots of emotions.

How Oregon handles mental health needs umis despicable. Sometimes involuntary commitment is necessary. And this case is a tragic example of that.

Wait! So what’s the solution?? How can parents help their kids who are non violent but refuse to take medicine?

Hunter and Teresa did not fail spectacularly, Oregon has

The Police found "no sign of foul play" when the mother was strangled?!!! What the fuck. These people NEED to be held accountable. Sir I am so sorry your family was let doen by the "system". DISGUSTING!!!.

This poor man. If you should see this sir, my heart and prayers go out to you. Sharing in your sorrow.

They need to rewrite the book on mental health.

This is one of the saddest stories I have ever heard becase it likely could have been prevented. The mother and father did everything they could to help their son. He should have had mental health care so mom & dad together could go visit their son in a hospital & the parents would still have a life together. Now the father is alone. So heartbreaking. My prayers will be for this lonely, sad man.

Oh World, be gentle with this man and hold him up with love. I am so sorry Sir. We cry with you.

I remember a friend saying her schitzophrenic son thought she had a demon in her and he lived with her and the people who were treating him were all about his autonomy. If you have a case of schitzophrenia you should be forced to take treatment. Absolutely this should be the law. There is no way a person with that diagnosis should get to decide if they should get treatment.

As someone who has experienced Kaiser’s system, I will add here that the process to get help with something you know is a sweet problem can take months if not years. It is almost impossible to get mental healthcare specifically, not to mention help for other issues. Murder or suicide attempts are the fastest way to health care. And even then the system outside of the hospital can fail us all when they can refuse medication or treatment. Heartbreaking for this man to lose both his wife and son.

This is a country-wide issue. We got rid of mental health care during the Reagan Era. Just like that, we were seeing them homeless, living on the streets. It was sad. And hasn't changed since.

If a Doctor & Attorney can't get help for their child what the heck kinda hope do us regular floks have!?

I’m so sorry for what this family had to go through, it breaks my heart. I’m a fellow Endocrinologist as well. And to think that she was a prominent doctor and she couldn’t even get her son the help he needed, despite her best efforts, leads me to think there’s no hope for the rest in this system. May she rest in peace knowing her son is getting better 😢. What a tragedy.

My heart breaks for this family. Our systems are beyond broken.

I am so sorry for this Father! Its NOT your fault, so sorry for your loss! Mental health is scary: My brother at age 62 stood on rhe railing of the Lions Gate Bridge and jumped February 12, 2023. My mum was totally aghast!😢💔

I am so sorry for this gentleman, and his wife and his son. It is so difficult for the families. It breaks your heart to hear him say ‘they/he’ failed. No, the system is what failed! You can’t have someone committed here either… even when you are begging!

Poor man. Horrible but true, how many times do we hear someone was in mental crisis after killing or attacking someone. Just walk downtown and see how many tickling time bombs wondering the streets.

Oregon flawed mental health, unemployment, Oregon paid leave etc appears this is more than a pattern, and just the incompetence of this state and it's elected officials. It's just shameful and pathetic plain and simple!

So sad. Someone needs to face charges for ignoring their pleas.

Born & raised in Oregon; mother committed herself to the mental hospital in Salem in the '60s, checked herself out b4 30 days "I (she) didn't get help, was just put to work scrubbing floors". I'm in CA now since early '70s. We used to have mental facilities to help, but the good citizens and lawmakers of the state in their great wisdom, decided it wasn't good for those with mental health needs to be 'locked up' in institutions, so they were closed and the residents turned over to families or their own devices. Now they're on the streets. Oh but they are 'free'. No mental health help, no home, more drugs, more crime, more filth, families don't want them, or families can't deal with them, or they can't deal with their families, and are 'lost' to family - all scenarios apply. Man has no answers...nor will he ever.

Same here in British Columbia. My 24 year old son was living on the street, until he almost drowned sleeping on the beach. Police certified him in the community twice, hospitalized but between his dad and him got him out after short stays. Now he is a zombie, shadow of the beautiful soul he is, medicated to nothingness. To get further help, his dad nor myself can take him in because then he is not eligible for supportive housing. None of this makes sense. So now everyday he is living with extreme anxiety & stress cannot work and is living in a shared house at $800/mo for one tiny bedroom & a shared bath. Disgusted & Devastated

I am so sorry for your loss and your son not getting the treatment he needed.

#BeyondTragic | Hunter Graham is a much stronger and better human that I'll ever be.

It’s not just Oregon. This country is horrific in responding to mental health crisis and dangers caused by mentally ill people, as well as the dangers mentally ill people face. My non blood related family has faced tremendous issues, thankfully no one died but it was close. In the end finally had to lock the mentally ill adult child to the streets. Eventually he was made a ward of the state because he was that bad. This poor couple. They loved their son too much. They were too good. They needed to cut and self protect and do what my extended family did. Our system isn’t broken so much as it never worked

Oregon and other states lack comprehensive mental health programs. Current policies for mental illness need to be changed. There needs to be mental health mandates for those who are severely mentally ill. In state hospital settings. Back in the day if you were severely mentally disabled unstable to care for yourself, you were mandated for treatment until you were stable enough to return to the community or home . There are too many people on the streets that need mental health care in a state structured hospital setting. Unfortunately the system is not capable of treating severely mentally ill citizens.

Hunter, I am so so so sorry for your loss. I'm so sorry the system failed you. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It can't ever fix or make up for what you're going through, but you are helping others in the future. Sending you so much love 💜💜💜💜💜

Absolutely heartbreaking... It truly seems almost all of our systems in American society are in NO way safety nets but reservoirs of absolute last resort that are only available to you once you have failed spectacularly, whatever that looks like for you. And that's not to say anyone even did anything wrong, just like in this case, as it's been said, "it's possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness, that is life."

My heart goes out to him. It's tragic that Austin didn't get the help he needed for his mental health. If you're diagnosed with cancer you get treatment but there aren't enough resources/awareness for mental health illnesses.

Unethical to meditate someone so sick? What is wrong with the Oregon state law?????

This is the most heartbreaking thing I have ever heard. That poor man. Sir, you did not fail your son or your wife. You did all that you could. It’s time to hold the ones who should have done everything they could have to help your son be accountable. Your wife’s blood is on that judge’s hands, and on the disgusting state of Oregon. I’m so so sorry for the pain you have to endure. My heart is broken for you.

Our courts are a huge failure in every aspect.

This is so heartbreaking. I don't understand why we have stopped helping people with mental issues. There is no reason for people to have to suffer this way. I too worked in a hospital and have seen first hand the stress some families have to go through. We had parents just like these people who had a daughter with serious mental issues. She had tried suicide but after paramedics doing cpr for about 20 minutes were able to revive her but it had caused permanent brain damage. She had the mentality of a 5 year old as a result. She would require constant care 24/7 and would throw violent temper tantrums. All they could do was bring her to the ER where we would get her calm again and then sent her back home. The parents were terrified of her and said it felt like they were living in hell. It was in possible for them to get any help. I used to just sit with then throughout the night while they cried and listened to their daughter scream.

Its not just Oregan its nationwide! No help getting involuntary committment and medication !

My heart is broken for this poor man and his family. I am so sorry for your loss.I don't know what the answer is but we desperately need change in how we deal with different types of mental illness. Now this poor kid has to live the rest of his life incarcerated and medicated knowing exactly what his disease caused to happen. My prayers are with this family.

The medical examiner didn’t know she died by strangulation? Wow !! I’m sorry his wife had to lose her life so his son could get the mental health treatment he needed .. 😢

This is very common. I worked with a guy whose son tried to kill him. He knew his son needed treatment but he couldn't get his son committed. He said he had to give his son to the state in order to get help

Oh my…this is absolutely heartbreaking 💔. I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful wife and quite frankly your son. Your families story NEEDS to be told and those that have the power to create lasting and meaningful change MUST listen. Thank you for sharing such a personal and truly earth shattering story.

This happened to my daughter as well. Got her hospitalized, but because of HIPA weren’t allowed to talk to treating physicians to give them her history or support. She was very sick and delusional.

The Right to Self Determination must be challenged for the safety and cohesion of a healthy society. It does not have to be the old brutal ways of our old mental institutions. What’s happening now is just cruel another form of cruel and unusual punishment. How on earth is it ok to allow the mentally ill and addicted to languish on the streets living like subhumans and zero care… it is no wonder that social workers, Lawyers, medical and health professionals call it The Right to Fail!

I’m so sorry! Head trauma is devastating, and there isn’t much help. My brother used to run all the time and after all the meds his brain was eaten up and he died.

Like psychologists even want to do their jobs. I had 22 month psychotic break. Went a year plus unmedicated. Went on antipsychotics they barely did anything. Every time I walked into a mental health professionals office they would shoo me away with microaggressions or make an excuse to not work with me. I finally through trial and error and a lot of research figured out I have a folate deficiency due to my alcaholism. I take supplements now and am completely recovered. All without the help of the psychiatric establishment. I’m very lucky, I’m very well educated and very medically savvy because I was introduced to medicine when I was a medic in the army. The psychiatric establishment isn’t even professionally trustworthy, they barely have any idea what they’re doing. They just think those little pills are magic and half the time they have negative effects.

Families hands are tied when it comes to mental health 'children' i am so very sorry. I don't believe there is a way to end this, not in my life time anyway. An adult can't be forced into mental health treatment.

Parents' hands are basically tied unless the person you are trying to help is willing to get help. Been there - it's a struggle. Laws need to change. Even if they are teens, in my state, unless they agree, you can't do anything.

It’s a lot of States that are like this 😭😭😭😭

its the same in Ohio, i guess all over the states . they threw out the baby with the bath water, when they changed the laws to protect the mentally disable. this also includes drug addictive and chronic alcoholic. we need reform .

I worked in outpatient behavioral health for 15 years. The care was reckless, sporadic and unethical. There would be 5 appointment time slots for 50 people calling for help. The psychiatrists would spend only 5 to 10 minutes doing medication evaluations...like in a revolving door style. The clients knew they were getting shoddy care and there was NOTHING they could do about it.

This is tragic. Prayers for the family. It is similarly hard to get treatment for severe alcoholics or drug addicts.

Not sure why so much suffering like this has to take place before people can get help. The fathers heart gets no relief because he doesn’t even have his son to grieve with him. There’s no sharing of memories, nothing. If she had cancer he could have received care but because it’s a mental health issue no one will do anything. I’m so sorry this had to happen. It sure shouldn’t have!

Agreed. Mental health should be a priority. We need to Take care of our own. I’d rather give taxpayer paid meds and therapy to those who need it, than to give all the money used for illegals.

This is truly heartbreaking. So sad for both Dad & Austin. Dads immense grief, pain & love for both his wife & son; copious weeping. Speechless.

I'm so sorry for your loss... and sir, you did NOT "fail".. you worked hard to get the treatment he need3d...my God..tragic for sure.. our health care system just sucks so bad..even when you have insurance ... may she rest in peace... and praying peace over you.. 🙏

This is so very sad an what we dont realize is many elderly parents are taking care of they're mentally ill children its very sad there are not very many options for long term care anymore .

My heart goes out to this man, it's hard to describe how horribly painful it is when you have a child that is not well... I hope someday he will have peace and healing in his life. 😢🙏🏼

Sad sad look what had to happen to get treatment. The system failed you all

So sorry for Austin and his family.

Anyone who isn't in touch with reality is a danger to themselves or others. There are more dangers than someone strangling a person. There's the risk that the person will drive while in psychosis. There's the risk that someone will think someone is after them or someone else and lock themselves or another person in a place without letting anyone else know. There's the risk the person will suddenly get worse. There's the risk the person will do something like walk in the road or believe they can fly and jump from a height. There's the risk that persistent hygiene issues will lead to illness. The person should not have to demonstrate an explicit intent to hurt themselves or someone else in order to be deemed capable of accidentally hurting someone due to a mental health crisis. What the current laws demonstrate is an abhorrent lack of concern for the WELL-BEING of people in crisis and their loved ones. Nobody should have to live in an on ongoing crisis in a civilized society with social services and medications available. That stuff needs to be made readily accessible to ANYONE who needs it. Nobody would choose to continue to live in psychosis if they could make that decision in their right state of mind. It is quite simply unfair to deny a mentally suffering person the interventions required to stabilize them so that they can make rational decisions about their life again. The people making the laws are acting like they're protecting a person's freedoms. The truth is that if someone were mistakenly committed involuntarily, an assessing psychiatrist would easily be able to determine that and the person would be released. Better safe than sorry- we are living in an epidemic of mental illness and the people with the power to make services available are just content to continue to shape a world without any meaningful civic responsibility in its design. No one wants to live in that world.

This death was totally avoidable....how dare they say he wasn't an immediate threat?! This is shameful.

took me 25 years. dozens ov police reports. countless failed suicides... but I got a shrink now. the system isn't broken. it is working just as intended. we care more about rehab than we do about each other.

Only affluent people can afford mental heath care. Insurance coverage is pathetic. State won't even keep their mental health hospital staffed. If you can't cover it yourself you're screwed.