Hmong people need to stop being complicated and let the elders live with whomever they want to, daughter or son. Shouldn’t matter if it’s the daughter who’s going to take care of the elderly parents.
Y L, the reason was because the son and his wife refused to give the mom's saving and SSI money to the daughter. They probably spent it all, but I am sure the mom still receive her SSI monthly and they want that too.
When it’s close to their time to go it will be difficult and challenging to care for an elderly person. Take turns helping the best you can. Such a sad story. Feels just like this is the reality for so many people. Get help to care for your parents. They are old but get the help you need to help ease what’s left of their life. Change your mind and love when you still have time. They won’t be here much longer. You’re annoyed and mad at them for whatever reasons now, but You will miss them when they’re gone. Makes me 😭 sad 😞
They can't call the cops on you for taking your mom with you unless they have legal guardianship over the mom, you can call the cops on them to remove them from your mom's home if it is still under your mom's name. What pisses me off is that you all act like the law is decided by your pos brother, at this point you really think there will be a relationship between you and your brother after your mom passes? Forreal! Sons and brothers like that you gotta show them that they can't threaten you and scare you.
I totally agreed, I am too pissed off at the part that these people keeps living their lives by the Hmong ways and leaving their mother to suffer from the pain and heartache, makes me wanna knock some senses into their heads, living and abiding by these Hmong ways ain't gonna do no shit in this situation 😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠
There is nothing wrong with living life and following tradition but when you do it without heart and for spite or selfishness, it's not acceptable regardless of what culture you are in. What is right is Right and you will have to live with the decisions you make. She needs to make the decision to go get her mother because she's suffering and say screw everything.
I’ve seen n heard this story way too many times n have experienced it myself. This is way too sad n I’ve always believed in taking care of our parents at home. It’s too sad that sometimes we’re not fortunate enough to have a kind n big hearted Nyab. I know n understand that it’s tough but it’s still ur duties as children. When u get married, ur marrying the whole family. Karma is a B...
Just one perspective, but who can be a kind nyab when she is the only one responsible for her in-laws' well being and their future funerals, but the in-laws love and cherish all their kids the same or others more?
Txhob tu siab os..peb cov brother always like that..even mine brother are like that too and don’t worry because the way your sister in law do that to your parents her sister in law will do that to her parents too
Yog lawm nawb. Nug nej tus kheej cov sisters, koj ne, puas yog ib tug nyab zoo thiab? Ua li ne, vim dab tsi cov nyab hnub no thiaj siab phem ua luaj? Es cov ntxhais ne, vim li cas thiaj zoo ua luaj? Es koj niam ne? Nus puas hlub nej ib yam thiab? The truth is, we love our parents more, with consciousness, because we know their love is unconditional to us.
@@yajxyoojlisthoj24 so why is the wife expected to care for his parents but the same can't be expected out of her husband? If expectations don't go both ways then sol
It's goes both ways! Suggested hmong culture should adapt to the American culture "wedding" and the American Society. No one is not responsible for anybody's parents but due to all circumstances and relationship and love always look at your situation with your partner if able to agree being the caregiver.
True, but will you and your husband take full responsibility for your mom and when she dies? Hmong daughters need to rise and say I will take equal responsibility for my own parents. Hmong parents need to stop taking a bride price and teach your daughter she is always your flesh and blood and nothing is thicker.
Taking care of the elders can be exhausting. It should be the responsibility of both sons and daughters. I love my sons and daughter equally. I plan to support their lives equally as they grow up I won't expect a dime in return. God bless all those out there providing care for their parents. Remember to share the responsibility
Wow this evil brother and his wife better go get their mom back before karma hits. He is definitely a waste. Kev npam is no joke when it comes to your parents.
Very sad, these days women is controlling all situations in the house. Man is a loser these day. Too bad for all men. May God bless all poor hmong men.
This is why Americans people dont wants children or have so many kids. .children don't love you, because they have their own life. For us older folks, dont rely on our kids anymore, kids now a day said,," well I didn't ask to be born, you want me for yourself..if your children said this to you what would you siad back to them?" First of all what the kids said it's TRUE, they didn't ask to be born, we as the parents want them for ourselves, so dont regrets...if they don't want to care for us.....
maya lee, I agreed with you. I don't have any hope in these kids anymore. They don't even know how to wash dishes so what do they know about love for their parents.
@@nkaujnom1255 your statement is very true. I just don't know what to do when the kids don't do what they are told, even the simplest thing such as to brush their teeth. After telling them so many times, I just give up.
Nus dev nyab poj dab xwb, Tsis ntshai npam li. Yog hlub tsis tau hos tsis cia tej muAm hlub es ho yuav muab leej niam rau txim li no. Ua tsis nyog kiag li...Ua tiag npam tiag nawb.
The mom can live at home with someone else to provide pca services. PCA does not have to be provided by family, especially ungrateful family members. The brother and his wife are plain cruel. Daughters are usually more thoughtful. I am a daughter too and known this to be true. Glad I have my daughters.
Pretty sure the sister in law wouldn’t let her brother’s wife treat her own mother the way she treats her mother in law! So sad. They only know how to love their mother when they run off to get marry. Such a shame!
What are you scared of? Who cares what the elders think. What can the police do? She is your mom too, they would never arrest you, especially if she can still speak for herself. Don't wait until she is no longer able to express her wishes. If you want her, you can have her. You're making a conscious decision to leave her there yourself.
Very sad, these days women is controlling all situations in the house. Man is a loser these day. Too bad for all men. May God bless all poor hmong men.
Not all Hmong men. Some Hmong men let themselves to wear the skirt and their wives the pant. Every race has some men cannot stand up. If my wife do this, she will be out the gutter in no time, period!
Tus siab heev li os zaj dab neeg no os koj tus nus lwm hnub nws yuav taug koj niam txoj kev nws ua li cas nws yuav tau li ntawv kuv yog tus mloog kuv pab koj niam thiab kuv lub kua muag lo vim kuv yog ib tug neeg hlub cov laus heev
Yog , vim hmoob cov niag kev cai quav dev no es tej niag laus thiaj tau kev tsaus ntuj los tseem tsis hloov qees thiab. kuv niag txiv ntawd yog tsis muaj nws hnub twg ntshe kuv yuav coj kuv tej mi nyuam mus kev cai tshiab es tsam lwm hnub kuv laus ces kuv cov niag tub hlwj qauj ua tsis taus txiv los kom tej ntxhais ho coj tau kuv mus nrog lawv nyob, tabsis yuav yog tej ntxhais mus kev cai tshiab thiab tsis tag li los yuav yog yus tej ntxhais ho mus tau tej vauv siab loj siab zoo hlub yus kam yuav yus thiab. kuv twb pom cov niag vauv phem es twb mus kev cai tshiab lawm hos niam tais los mus tibsi los tseem tsis hlub tsis kam yuav thiab hos. muab hais mas tu siab heev li os hmoob.
Cas mloog zaj no v yuav los kua muag ua luaj v tu siab heev v mloog g taus zaj no kiag li nej twb yug muaj los tseem txom ngen ua luaj es v twb yug g muaj ntshe ib hnub twg v tseem txom ngem tshaj nej thiab os hmoob
This made me cry I really hope u didn't have a bad day I had a bad or good day kuv yog Hmong people who are mean bad abusive plz read this ur cruel and shouldn't hit ppl u know that they choose to love u and u choose to be mean so yea don't listen to the devil side listen to the angel side all they wanted was love ok so pls stop and love ur kids and mom they deserve more better and love thank u god made a better life for all of u
Tus sister, your brother has no legal power over your mother unless your mother gave him guardianship. Even then, you can still get your mom released into your care if your mom does not want to stay at the nursing home and you are willing to take care of her. Do NOT, I repeat, do not go through Hmong elders. Take the meeka route!! Once your mom is in your care, get a lawyer to sign over her care to you, known as power of attorney!!! This is elder neglect and you have the right to take your mom away from that situation. Your brother can’t call the cops on you!
Niam ntsuab teev koj thiab kuv ces quaj222 taug kawg kuv mloog koj cov dab neeg koj quj hauv ces kuv quaj sab nrauv vim kuv pom koj lub kua muag poob ces kuv lub kua muag poob nrog koj
Tus muam tsis care txog, nws yeej yuav tsum npam xwb, lub kua muag yus ev tsis taus. Yog yus tsis ua txhaum mas yeej tsis npam, yus ua txhaum li koj ces yeej npam xwb 2.
Ab cas tej nyab dab tsi yuav tsis yuav tej laus npaum kuv es kuv xav kom kuv niam pog txiv yawg los nrog kuv nyob los lawv tsis kam kuv nim tutu siab ua luaj os tej nyab siab phem aw
Aunite, if you want to make a difference, take action. Go court for it, hire a lawyer for help. Go strong, if we keep this Hmong tradition we will never find peace. Make history, dont live history. Outsider shouldn't have a saying cause they don't walk your shoe.
hmoob txoj kab lig kev cai ces yog dev npua cai ces yog tej no los mas, leej twg ua tus pib thaum xub thawj los hais tias ntxhais qhua, ua ces txhaum dab, txhaum npaum li no lawm es teev nej cov dab hmoob ua tus tsi naw, khiav los nrog peb ntseeg vajtswv zoo dua os.
Yog kawg yom! Yog txhaum no ces peb tej no am tsis txhaum tag tus lawm os. Peb tag tus yeej tsis dim li thiab mas. Tabsis hmoob txoj niag kev cai quav dev no ces tsis muaj tseeb os. They all need to stop conforming to those old, outdated, non sense ways. It's useless.
Oh, one more thing, anyone can call the law on your brother and his wife for neglecting the mom. They’re signed papers to care for her and getting paid by the state. Have them arrested.
These sisters needs to take charge and stop living by the Hmong ways, that stupid bitch ass sister in law of hers shouldn't even be going over to her birth mother's house as well if that's the case that these sisters can't come see their own mother
@@leahvon5905 your right. Hmong ppl needs to stop Living the Hmong way and take charge...since like Hmong son nowadays are loser...they always listen to what they wife said... ..
@@leahvon5905 Its nice to be mad, but lets think vice versa...the daughter worries so much about her mother and is there to care for her mom so much, is she in return doing the same thing as her nyab duty to her in laws also? That's another question that should be raised to the person of this story.
Kuv pab koj tu siab kawg me muam nws Tsis hlub nws niam Lwm hnub nws cov mam ua rau nws ua cas neb tseem muaj niam nyob cas neb Tsis hlub ..zoo li kuv Tsis niam lawm xav Pom xav Nsthib npaum cas los tub Tsis Pom ....muaj hnub ib twg nws mam khwv xim
Cov tub los txiv neej xaj maim no ces hnav tiab lawm xwb tu siab kawg nkaus. Txhob tu siab ntuj ua ntuj ntxiv .. txoj kev uas leej niam no taug ces tus tub no yeej yuav ris mus twg ib sib neej.
Hais rau tus ntxhais no....mus coj Koj niam. Tsis txhob cia koj niam nyob tim tsev laus lawm. Thaum lig lawm ces tsis zoo dab tsi lawm os. Peb cov ntxhais hmoob es....los sib com tes es txhob cia hmoob li kev ruam no saib tsis taus peb. Yog tub ua tsis tau ces cia ntxhais ua log. Leej twg muaj peev xwm ces tso rau tus ntawv. Yog koj niam...Koj Niam tiag tiag. Ah tsij mus coj koj niam los tsev...los hlub kom kawg nws lub neej.
Hnov ntau cov txiv neej ua li no 6 lawv niam lawv txiv mas tu siab tiag li os Hmoob...lawv tau kiag poj niam ces lawv ua g taus txiv li lawm vim lawv raug khoo los ntawv lawv poj niam. Luag 1 txwm hais tias poj niam yuav tau tab sis niam txiv yuav g tau...niam no txhob cia2 siab 6 nej cov tub lawm os cov niam thiab cov txiv aw...nej cov ntxhais hlub nej tshaj lawm os mog.....😥
Vim peb cov txiv tsev pheej mus nriav dua tus tshiab log vim nej ua tau2 siab heev thiab muab peb lub neej plam kev kwv tij py cais yus pab nus muas ua yeeb ncuab tas los vim cov poj niam siab lim2 hiam mas
Cas nej cov muam twb coob es nej hos tsis nrog nej tus nus tu es nej pheej yuav kom nej tus nyab tu es nej tsis xav tias tsis yog luag niam na nej yuav yuam nws ib leej tu nej niam luag tu sis taus ces kawg luag tsis xav yuav nej niam xwb mas txhua tus neeg yog noj taus sawv tsis taus lawm ces. Txhob tu siab mes kas lawm muaj lawv neeg tu kawm tawm los tu neeg laus lawv txawj tu tshaj
Leej twg niam los peb yuav tau hlub mog cov mi muam, tus kwv tij no nws cia li yoog nws tus poj niam lawm xwb, peb txhua txhua leej muaj txoj cai hlub peb niam thiab txiv kom sib npaug mog. Twb nrog tus nus nyob ntev lawm, tus nus yuav tau tso rau cov muam coj mus hlub mas tab sis zoo li tus nus thiab nyab nkawv ntshaw leej niam cov nyiaj heev es nkawv txwv qhov ntawv but still she has the right to move wherever she wants and move her money over there. Thov txhob tsim txom tej laus lub siab ntsws nawb mog. Tej laus hais tias hlub niam hlub thiaj tau ntuj ntoo no laiv thiab txoj kev npam muaj tseeb os mog...yus tsis nrhiav kev npam tab sis kev npaj yeej yuav nrhiav yus ib hnub nawb mog.
Yog hais tiAs yus yeej yog tus uas tus laus hlub no ces txhob siab siab phem rau tus laus thiab nawb hos yog yus yeej Tsis yog tus uas tus laus Favors no los kuj ua 1 yam hais thiab
Zaj dab neeg no zoo heev li qhia rau hom nyab es ntshaws tej laus tej qub txeeg qub teg tas sis tsi xav tu tej laus mas xav zoo zoo mog kj tsis yog lawv ntxhais kj tsis muaj cais txiav txwv lawv tsev neeg, ho kj tus ua nus los xav kom zoo vi kj tus poj niam ntshaw nyiaj xwb mog ua siab tso cia kj lub neej yuav batter os mog.cov ntawv no sau rau hom neeg zoo li no xwb tsis txhob muab suav rau kj yov kj tsis yog hom neeg no cov lus kv sau yuav tsis mob kj.
This is exactly why it's important to establish a legal healthcare and/or financial power of attorney to protect yourself and save your family from drama! It's too bad that your story had to happen like this. We hear of these types of stories all the time.
Vuag ua cas yuav txaus tu siab ua luaj li os me niam laus aw koj tus nyab thiab tus nus ces yeej yuav npam xwb os cas kuv yuav nrog koj hlub koj niam ua luaj li os kuv Los twb tsis muaj niam lawm thiab os cas kuv mloog me niam ntsuab teev piav mas kuv lub kua muag ntws sis xwb os lawv aw
If my husband said I could take my momma, I would have taken her and my brother couldn't and wouldn't be able to do shit. It's not too late. You're momma is still there. Go get her!
People say forget the Hmong way but then it puts pressure on your husband (son in law) if he still follows traditional ways. It’s complicated. Fellas (sons) need to build up some self esteem and choose partners that respect them wholeheartedly before tying the knot. If values don’t align, then maybe marriage isn’t the best idea.
Koj hais koj tus nyab tus nus los tsis tau lawm...mus quaj ib pluag rau koj txiv tim ntxa...es muab txhua yam hais rau nws mloog...ces koj lub siab yuav kaj tuaj lawm os Tus muam aw..nrog koj tu siab os
Koj niag nus dev liam ko kom nws mus hnav tiab los ma cov txiv neej zoo luv ko nyob los nyav av dhau lawm os? Yav laus koj yeej yuav raug pov tseg xwb ma kev npam yuav los Sai2 no lawm 😭😭😭😭
Ua cas cov neej neeg no mas cov nus lub siab phem thb siab nyoos tiag li .. yeej g hlub cov lau li tab si xav txheeb tej lau li nyiaj tab si g xav hlub tej lau..
It's so sad to hear this cause it's the sad like my story when my mom still alive..its over 10 years but when I hear this story I cry again. Sister it's so hard to be a Hmong woman cause the Hmong culture n respect our elders. Wish we can change like American xwb os....
Idk what the hell is wrong with this Hmong woman. May is giving her the most “common sense” advice in the nicest form possible. Nothing in this world would prevent me from saving the people that I love, definitely no invisible tradition law, can’t get stupider than this!
This is a very sad story. As a mother I understand the grandma, as a daughter I understand her daughters, last but not least I also understand the daughter in law as a nyab. I pray that all of you guys will come to some kind of agreement and take your mom home.
Mai Hmoob FYI, the nyab can allow for the mother in law she no longer wants to take care of to be released into the care of her own daughter but she refuses. So if you understand the nyab, you’re just as evil.
rektide ! I understand where you’re coming from but the mother said if they don’t have time, they can get out of her house and she will have a nurse come take care of her instead. The son and Nyab just don’t want to take care of the mother. Just wait until u get old. You will change your words really quick.
@@MiSsMaCy I'm not arguing about the house part. I think the moms right. I'm just saying in general that some parents are too needy that it causes a lot of trouble for the son and nyab.
@@TricxL Ok, but in this story she just want them out of her house and will have a caretaker.. So of course the solution to this is for the son and greedy ass nyab to move out. I hope she better have the same energy like this for her own parents.
I just cried my eyes out! 😭 Were all given life n luv thru one set of parents, there will never be another replica or anyone that will ever take their place! Because you need food or money can you or would you even begin to imagine having the will n strength to turn & walk away, leaving ur own child, ur babies out there by someone door or some place....... just driving off thinking you did the right thing, or because you had to? That's ur own flesh b blood you neglected n abandon. what selfish old hearted person & soul can do this? 🙏I know fosho....... I can't! Ty for sharing this heartbreaking sad story!😍 Karma is real...love your parents😍
Hmong hang up too much on the culture decision making of the clan system. The ultimate decision should be the children's decision, not the boys but also the girls too. The barrier to love is the system that gave hmong male, the clan and kevcai dab qhuas too much power. The female always have been treated as low class.
