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A Simple Choice That Prevents Suffering

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Is there something we can do to minimise or prevent suffering when circumstances render us powerless?
Rupert says: ‘Some circumstances are so clearly beyond our control that they cause a spontaneous surrender. And the moment we let go, our resistance drops and the background of peace shines.
‘Any time you find yourself suffering emotionally, it is because something happened in the world that you don’t like. But the situation in the world is neutral - there’s nothing inherently unpleasant or painful about it. It is you who are saying “yes” or “no” to it. And if you say “yes” to it, you’re at peace, but if you say “no” and resist it, you suffer.
‘So, just make the choice now. Every time you are faced with a situation that would previously have caused emotional suffering, pause, feel the old habit of saying “no”, and just say, “Yes, I accept it.” Make it your practice to say “yes” to every experience.’
*This video is from one of Rupert’s in-person retreats at The Vedanta, 11-18 October 2023. For more information on upcoming retreats (many of which can be attended online via livestream) go to:
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Timestamps:
0:00 Surrender
0:42 Relinquishing Control
2:16 Letting Go
3:11 Say ‘Yes’ to All Experience
4:12 Practising Surrender
5:33 Acceptance
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Опубликовано:

14 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 106

@tinad6812 Месяц назад

This experience is exactly what I went through and also had to do with being homeless. I lived a life of suffering. I came from a very broken family and never felt like I had a home. I spent years sleeping on other people’s couches. After I went through a divorce and suffered greatly, I struggled to pay for a home. I knew I was going to be homeless. I tried everything to make money and nothing was working, until I realized that it was beyond me and was going to happen anyway. I surrendered to it and was homeless for 5 weeks, while I walked down the street with a smile on my face. I was emotionally triggered one day and looked up and exclaimed boldly, “This ends today.!” It did end that day. I ran into an old friend the next morning and my entire life fell into place with everything I asked for that I need. I was emotionally triggered a few more times and was able to work through past trauma very fast. All emotional attachments fell away and the last one was trying to be in control of someone else’s decision on something. There is only peace left now. No emotional pain sticks. Emotional attachments are what causes suffering. Now I let life flow and enjoy.

@christinepletsch Месяц назад

Thank you for sharing 💗

@SimonThomas-nh3tf Месяц назад

Best wishes my friend ❤❤❤

@laurad3417 Месяц назад

Thank you ❤

@ca5218 25 дней назад

Much love from Ireland ❤

@agam5186 24 дня назад

Enjoy your life ❤🎉🙏😁

@k14michael Месяц назад

The mantra “Thank you for everything. I have no complaints whatsoever” fit this video perfectly.

@bernhardkaferbock5075 22 дня назад

Hey thank you… this actually just helped me immensely.

@Pure.energy10 10 дней назад

I love this! ❤🙏🏼

@garygreffe4522 Месяц назад

Accepting what is was the first step I took towards God. As soon as you accept, a certain freedom comes.

@seewanbundhoo7796 28 дней назад

Acceptance is the most precious prayer because nothing happens by mistake.I should only be conscious of what I do in the present and the rest will be taken care of.Whatever the circumstances may be, I have the choice to practice peace within myself

@malcolmmacdawson Месяц назад

"barn's burnt down now I can see the moon." Haiku by 17th century poet Mizuta Masahide

@andrewfrench6850 Месяц назад

An essential teaching. However, elsewhere Rupert has said that the universal Yes to life can also include the relative No. I think it is important to keep this in mind, otherwise we may mistakenly believe that we must 'accept' everything that others do or ask of us, even when it is not an expression of love and intelligence. Without this caveat, we end up being passive victims to everything and everyone. It is important to stand up to cruelty and injustice, albeit with love and understanding in our hearts.

@alisonsalter8352 25 дней назад

I could not agree more. I fell foul of this in a domestic abuse situation two years ago. It didn’t take me long to realise that this was majorly wrong when the abuse just ramped up due to my passivity. This is the danger of giving advice out on a platform open to the world like RU-vid. People take advice from Rupert answering a question from another questioner in a similar situation, but there will be some small nuance difference which means that you should NOT take the same approach as the questioner Rupert is speaking with. It can lead to very dangerous situations if people are blindly following these non dual teachers without sufficient background meditative knowledge. I am a trained meditation teacher with huge amounts of experience and it even got me in trouble! It affects mainly people who are alone and who are relying on a seemingly enlightened person to guide them, because they have no one else in this physical world.

@versoturner5777 21 день назад

well yes I agree... and this can still be accomplished with acceptance of whatever transpires when we choose to do this. If we go into it with an open heart and pure intentions... we can find joy and peace no matter the outcome.

@judy1879 28 дней назад

The moment I surrendered to all of my pain everything became so beautiful ❤️

@agam5186 24 дня назад

🙏

@BEEaTREE Месяц назад

True. So true. So true. I suffered greatly and for a very long time because I was trying to understand, resist, deny, judge, overthink, doubt and push away what I was feeling and going through. The situation totally contradicted my expectations, broke me into pieces and pushed me into accepting pain, the one thing I had tried so hard to bury and to keep at bay for four decades of my life... I know now that it was given to me as a gift, even if it came wrapped in despair... This was also the most powerful time in my life when I began to strengthen my faith, as I could see clearly that, in the middle of that disintegrating and debilitating depression, I was also experiencing the healing power of my own divine nature ... 🙏💚

@user-yt4qi6in9o Месяц назад

Yes I judge too

@user-yt4qi6in9o Месяц назад

Physical matter

@anamartins4436 Месяц назад

Thanks for sharing! 🙏

@Sudha785 Месяц назад

Beautiful

@Misslotusification Месяц назад

Mary Oliver - 'Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.'

@ravindramurthy3486 Месяц назад

The statement at 3:10: "It was spontaneous, and I did not choose it." - That is a very profound pointer to "Life" Yes!!! It is always spontaneous and "happening" at the behest of the Source of all of us and an "individual" is never the chooser, as much as we all believe so. Every thought, every reaction, every decision, every action is happening in accordance with the script written by that Source. The same script also goads an "individual" to think that he/she was the author by the generation of "me" thought. "Life" goes on.

@phk2000 Месяц назад

They said take a look - try to find the self So I looked in the cupboards at the back of the shelf I looked up in the attic and under the floor beneath the sofa and behind the door I went into the garden and dug up the ground But all to no avail - cos nothing was found. Oh where could it be this thing I couldn’t see It had to be somewhere - this thing called me! And then as if sight had been restored to the blind All was revealed and I was out of my bind! Of course there was no separate me! And the world’s just an appearance that we see There’s no division in INFINI-TEE So all is ONE - the TOTAL-IT-EE!

@ianblack5264 Месяц назад

Genius!

@christinemiller230 Месяц назад

❤

@Insaan0457 Месяц назад

"LIFE" divided by 0 ( no me) = INFIN-I-TEE ?!

@luismoref Месяц назад

There isn't a spiritual practice in a situation like the barn on fire. But it is all the practices you already had that built the stone foundation for that wall of peace to stand behind you. Love 🙏

@annab3070 Месяц назад

If we are really not able to say yes to something in a particular moment then it can be really helpful to bring acceptance to our non acceptance too as Eckhart Tolle talks about.

@RobNolten Месяц назад

🥔- 🥔

@Misslotusification Месяц назад

Yes. ET speaks about a state of mind of YES (no complaints whatsoever), however, he says you've got 3 options when you are in an unpleasant situation, one is to change it, the 2d to remove yourself from it, and the 3d to accept it totally, like if you had chosen it. But acceptance of the fact (no resistance) is key.

@alanfrancis9225 Месяц назад

This is the Buddhism approach which is 2500 years old. Awarness with Equanamity. Accepting things as they are. However as children we repressed and suppressed trauma which we have no idea about. We had to do this as we couldn’t accept these sensations, emotions chaos etc. As the repressed stuff is held in our mind and “body” (outside our awarness) we may well have to also do some kind of body work to release our repressions.

@NoRaengs99 25 дней назад

I got same experience before!!! And Now I know it is same regardless of what's going on. No matter how big or small the happening is, Just EVERYTHING is in the same way. There is No Thinker, therefore No Chooser. I’m just pure awareness! It is the most noble teaching in life.

@MrEric23 18 дней назад

Sometimes I realise that all I have is my reputation, working ethics, and integrity that keep suffering away. It feels at times as if I'm steadily walking on a thin line across a sea of duality with noise coming from all sides, despite which I'm still moving. Then I ask where does it all come from? It comes from the recognition of non-duality in my heart, that over years of growth, my life's been informed by the being that I am. Thank you Rupert for your guidance and love.

@sergelenp 29 дней назад

You are my GURU! Thank you for saving my life.

@AlexMarroquin-iq6tl 29 дней назад

@elogiud Месяц назад

I truly needed to hear this today as I find myself in a political year that is 'out of control' to say the least. It would appear that the only thing left for me to do at this time is surrender and realize that the forces that are creating this are beyond my control and be at peace. Robert Adams once said;"All is well and unfolding as it should, exactly as it should." Any thoughts, anyone? Is everything truly unfolding as it should?

@plumeria66 Месяц назад

Politics does not inspire me to be at peace. I might read about it but I don’t get involved. I’m not interested in trying to change events outside of my personal life. I can’t even control most events in my personal life. I don’t have the time or energy to spend on drama. I’m not attracted to it. Everything that is unfolding is well because I choose to experience my being which is everything.

@elogiud Месяц назад

@@plumeria66, no, politics has never inspired me in any direction; be it peace or its opposite. Normally I do not engage as I tend to fill my life with noticing the beauty in it. Politics recently, however, seems to be getting my attention, which was why I noted above what a wonderful reminder to me today, to realize that everything is always perfect; just as it is...

@chrisfireymusic 28 дней назад

I like to remember in slightly different language, everything is as only it could be. The universe could only produce this moment, no more or less.

@prakashvakil3322 28 дней назад

Aatmiya DIVINITY Be Blessed. HARE KRSN Yes. By saying NO we remain at the same position to a condition creating PAIN. By just saying, YES, we move in a different direction from the condition causing PAIN. ❤😊

@whoopdeedoo876 Месяц назад

Easier said than done, but I appreciate the advice.

@ramasatyanarayan9887 Месяц назад

Very interestingly narrated. Thanks

@vincechopard6481 Месяц назад

Thank you for this wise teaching 🙏🙏

@agam5186 24 дня назад

It is very simple !🙏❤ Just be in the moment ❤😊

@gostrum1 28 дней назад

Let it be ☮️

@sidselirenehafstad3843 Месяц назад

It is what it is❤

@JuraGaga Месяц назад

It is all about awakening to interconnected reality, that there is really no separate selves that suffer. To think that one is suffering on one's own is the worst dream one can only imagine . There are only these experiences but no one really who is experiencing. Same as "it's raining" (rain is not made by someone for someone) don't get caught in words. People like experiences because they afraid or desire and normaly everyone is afraids of death hence it's taboo, because it means to them an end to all experiences. This is only my observation of such topic on youtube with seasoned masters, I dont claim ownership to particular ideas or views. Thank you ❤

@youssefalaoui4286 Месяц назад

Inside Heaven you are imagining suffering, triggered by the ego and its ambitions.

@flouflis1a 5 дней назад

He fails to say that this acceptance he is talking about, should be done at the level of sensation which is what one should practice patiently!

@widipermono854 10 дней назад

🙏🙏🙏

@mustafaabohari3853 10 дней назад

can we say YES to mind's No as well ?

@Laila_7777 24 дня назад

❤

@Anna-ej3fy Месяц назад

Yes❤

@hansgrevstad6070 25 дней назад

If I say " I am going to accept this situation in order to feel better", doesn't that just become another attempt to control( and the opposite of acceptance)?

@versoturner5777 21 день назад

Not if you are accepting everything... because feelings are a thing. Don't feel better? Accept that too.

@kusumjadav89 Месяц назад

Hello Rupert, I get confused about this teaching of saying “yes” to any experience. If I let go and say yes in a situation that I don’t like, wouldn’t I be stuck in that! You might say I have a choice but that choice could only arise if I keep the resistance for that situation

@RobNolten Месяц назад

Different words, same story.

@k14michael Месяц назад

Your wisdom will guide you. Not your mental or emotional resistance.

@kusumjadav89 Месяц назад

@@k14michael thankyou 🙏

@brigitteh4825 Месяц назад

I think saying ‘yes’ to any experience means you accept the current situation. It doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t take steps to change it or walk away. It’s just an acceptance of what is, in the moment.

@Misslotusification Месяц назад

Eckhart Tolle speaks about a STATE OF MIND of YES (no complaints whatsoever) to whatever is, however, he says you've got 3 options when you are in an unpleasant situation: one is to change it, the 2d to remove yourself from it, and the 3d to accept it totally, like if you had chosen it. But acceptance of the fact (no resistance, no complaints) is key to right action, or non-action. It is our fear, and our resistance, that bring the suffering. We suffer way more in imagination than in reality. Sometimes, trying harder to get out of a rut makes us realise how much energy was trapped in resistance, and is suddenly available to resolve the issue at hand. We are paralysed by our self-hypnosis. Remember that Rupert didn't choose the 'yes', it came upon him, because he was really powerless in that event. So, the question is: are we powerless at the moment? Or are our fears and resistances consuming us from within?

@moonglow6639 Месяц назад

This means when they come knocking at your door and you accept it they will go away?

@alfreddifeo9642 Месяц назад

🕉🕉🕉☮☮☮

@teresapiteira Месяц назад

Is this a comment or a question from the participant "and I don't have to like it..." if it is a question to Rupert I would love an answer...

@dansmonile1 26 дней назад

Being forcibly separated from his two kids and for years, is neutral? Where?

@lanusik1000 29 дней назад

💯🙏

@william5159 Месяц назад

One of my only two fears in life is the fear that my actions could ever hurt another person. Currently, I am in a situation where money owed to me is not being paid and therefore, if I cannot pay my debts, I fear the harm to others. In this situation, what does one do? How to ‘let go’ and feel ok?

@Misslotusification Месяц назад

You might be able to do something about it, though. Acceptance comes when there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Eckhart Tolle speaks about a state of mind of YES (no complaints whatsoever) to whatever is, however, he says you've got 3 options when you are in an unpleasant situation: one is to change it, the 2d to remove yourself from it, and the 3d to accept it totally, like if you had chosen it. But acceptance of the fact (no resistance, no complaints) is key to right action, or non-action. It is our fear, and our resistance, that bring the suffering. We suffer way more in imagination than in reality. Sometimes, trying harder to get out of a rut makes us realise how much energy was trapped in the suffering, and is suddenly available to resolve an issue. Remember that Rupert didn't chose the 'yes', it came upon him, because he was really powerless in that event. So, the question is: are you powerless at the moment? Or are your two fears consuming you from within?

@versoturner5777 21 день назад

make a decision, accept that you made the decision and can't unmake the decision. Accept what comes from it. You're still trying to control the situation. The truth is your actions may or may not hurt another and likely already have (it's just apart of having 8 billion roommates on this planet). You can't do anything about that either so it's another thing to accept. Your ego is perpetuating itself by trying to predict the future and create an impossible person. Where is this person that can do absolutely no harm? They don't exist. Did you intend to harm? Were you malicious? Do you control all there is? If your answer is no to these 3 questions then you have your answer. There is nothing you can do except try your best and accept what becomes of it. This is not absolving yourself of responsibility, on the contrary. It is a mirror... see the limitations of the human condition and accept them... they are yours. Always accept. Always Namaste 🙏🏽

@TheHmmka Месяц назад

🌿

@Mahasamadhi-Oma 15 дней назад

😀

@julieruppelmcnitt7054 Месяц назад

❤️✨🕊

@copyninja8756 Месяц назад

hi :)

@guidedbysunshine333 Месяц назад

Hi! ❤

@user-qk6iz4fx7b Месяц назад

Hiiiii❤

@user-yt4qi6in9o Месяц назад

You are very kind

@Misslotusification Месяц назад

@markw1857 Месяц назад

Yes, the sound of one hand clapping

@spiritlightpajic7299 Месяц назад

👁️What lS the difference Between the loss of that which lS of the matterial values , of that which lS perishable, and the values that Are of the Deep personal suffering of the emotional Abuse .. The Psychological Suffering caused by loss due to the Imposition Commited by another IS Very Difficult to Heal..👁️.. The Christ Jesus Called out "Father , forgive tham.." , He did Not say "l Forgive tham .." , Because it lS Impossible to Forgive the Cruelty commited by the blind human malice .. and while being nailed on the cross He said my quote , "It lS Finished , in Thine Hand l commend my Spirit.." , All of the suffering lS Thus due to having personal sense of self and personal Life , Yet , There lS No P e r s o n a l Anything , Because The Only l , lS The Impersonal SPIRIT , Whom Knows Not of loss or gain .. and Say :" I AM The Alpha and Omega , l AM The Life Eternal , That ♾️🫥l , lS Beyond All suffering"🌅

@Just-Browsing-123 Месяц назад

This man has not truely suffered.

@AAPAI_24 Месяц назад

How do you know?

@kocamanbiradam 29 дней назад

@@AAPAI_24I can't say I know but I can share my view. He says any traumatic event you can let it go. This is against the definition of trauma. Trauma is something to be processed. By just letting go, you don't erase the neural paths that trauma shaped and constantly has potential to be a cause of suffering. I agree at the end you let go. But just letting go before processing is not something that can be done. But I also understand according to Rupert or nondualist there is no self that was traumatized. And just think for a moment, if it was that easy people would let go and have peace. Do you really think all the sufferrers are dumb and haven't thought about just letting go. No people are truly suffering. Conscious decision is powerful but just letting go and living in la la land is not something any person with wisdom would do or could do

@aojbooker8650 25 дней назад

In the midst of suffering if you let go there is peace. The type of suffering is irrelevant. When it is seen that the situation is not in your hands then the burden is lifted. Life is too big to be controlled.

@mahtabmawla8792 11 дней назад

That is rare indeed! Gautama, Buddha, presumably had similar circumstances. It is only in the recent middle eastern culture that these motley group of enlightened beings had to go through vulgar ordains that so-called society dictates...i invite you to peace love joy ❤🙏🏽

@languagereflex8073 22 дня назад

No he is wrong. It is not a choice.

@Jamesgarethmorgan Месяц назад

Oh dear. Rupert falling for that old trick of getting people to practice. Rupert you have no ability to 'let go' and no amount of 'practice' is going to help you or anybody. Gurus huh? Always trying to suggest things are going to get better if you just do whatever they tell you to do. The woman had a great story - one of spontaneous 'letting go' - and you have now given her a practice. Dear. Oh. Dear.

@SimonThomas-nh3tf Месяц назад

What's your spiritual channel name guru ??

@lanusik1000 29 дней назад

You haven’t experienced what he is talking about - when you will reach some state close to his then it will be understood. Otherwise don’t criticize whatever you have no idea of Thanks.

@LianaMarvel 28 дней назад

If you don't have anything kind to say it's better to say nothing at all. How beautiful the world would be without people trying to criticise what they don't understand.

@Jamesgarethmorgan 27 дней назад

@@SimonThomas-nh3tf Binky.

@Jamesgarethmorgan 27 дней назад

@@LianaMarvel Says the person who has no understanding of what I am saying.