Hey man, I don’t know how much leaving comments changes things, but even if it gives you a smile or even if it changes nothing, I’ll still be leaving them. I really hope for the best man, for your happiness. I really hope we don’t lose you. I know you don’t like when people leave comments preaching without offering clear solutions and without truly understanding your situation, and admittedly I’m really just not good at giving advice anyway. However I can still tell you what I hope for. I hope that you find joy or joy finds you. I know how it sounds, but I really do hope that even the smallest things can bring even a pinch of joy or assurance. And if the world doesn’t bring you joy, try bring out joy from within yourself, from the little I know about you I know that you are incredibly smart (both mathematically and generally), that you are extremely strong willed and have built an amazing physique/body through your hard work and that you are an extraordinarily extremely talented and skilled artist. I know I’ve said all these things in previous comments (and I haven’t then it was long overdue), and if I knew you this list would go on for miles. I seriously do hope you find joy, pride and happiness within yourself even when the outside world is hostile (if you already don’t). I know I’m sounding extremely preachy by now and for that I apologize, but I don’t know how to get words across any other way. Have the best day you can brother.
It's important to remember that life is a precious gift, even in the darkest of times. Choosing not to commit suicide means giving yourself a chance to experience the beauty, joy, and love that life can offer. The pain you're feeling now is temporary, even if it doesn't seem that way. There are countless ways you can make a positive impact on the world and in the lives of those around you. You are loved more than you might realizeby family, friends, and even by people you've yet to meet. Reaching out for help, talking to someone who cares, and seeking professional support can open doors to healing and growth. You have the power to create change, not only in your life but also in the lives of others. Remember, your story is far from over, and there is hope and love waiting for you.