When he said “even though I question if I should” and he started to stare at the window off camera. Before talking himself back down. Props on those coping skills.
Your hat adds to your charm. :) You seem really down to earth, intelligent, emotionally aware and in touch with your thoughts which is a powerful weapon against schizophrenia and in general really confident-I'd say you're miles ahead of your teen peers actually- so your state of mind has it's benefits.
anxiety is such a common symptom of many mental illnesses. I remember one day when I was in a state of constant great fear, but not panic, where I was so afraid of the fact that I couldn't tell if the world around me was real or just my imagination; on that day I heard a classical concert in my head and I could control every individual instrument in the symphony and made real good sounding music. I enjoyed that and it put me to sleep. I never was able to do that again. This was triggered by my anxiety or fear. So I can imagine how schizophrenia feels like. Probably like constant fear and anxiety on another level.
@@danielalia239 I would recommend to go check yourself out at a professional, if you feel like you can not take it under control. Anxiety, even though in tiny bits can be helpful, in huge amounts is definitely counterproductive and not healthy.
@@name-zv3vv yes! I suffer from sleep paralysis sometimes, just as I'm falling asleep, and I here people whispering and bickering and see shadow people in the corners of the dark room. And also a high pitched drilling noise. I can only imagine that schizophrenia is something similar to that but you are fully awake and it must be terrifying.
@@name-zv3vv sometimes I hear voices of ppl I know (mostly family) saying my name and chatting, I thought my brain was just storing info in front of me lol
I'm sure psychologists are onto this already, but I swear schizophrenic hallucinations and delusions sound exactly like how it feels when you're engulfed in a dream, only you're awake, and delusions are like those you have whilst you're both asleep and not lucid. I mean, it makes sense since it's obviously one's unconscious doing it.
You seem like an awesome kid with a great outlook on life. I cannot even fathom what you go through but its been eye opening watching your videos and learning more about this illness. Keep uploading because others with schizophrenia can relate to you and those who do not can learn and empathize with those who struggle with this.
When i was a kid i would check everywhere for mice and cameras or anything like that. I don't know what was that i didn't talk about it and it just disappeared. Im ok now. I was ok back then actually never had any violent action or something like that. And btw I'm happy you are getting better. It may be hard to talk about your situation and i appreciate that
Thank you for sharing. I'm not schizophrenic, but I do hallucinate when I have panic attacks. I can't imagine dealing with that all the time and never knowing when you'd have an episode. Stay strong buddy
It's people like you who make others more understanding, empathetic and knowledgeable about others and their difficulties. I really appreciate your courage and kindness. I will share your channel. Thank you (:
Just wanted to let you know how much i respect and admire your courage . It’s really awesome you’re spreading awareness about mental health. .Just wanted you to know your awesome bro.. i wish you the best
I would never compare my mental health with anyone else's, because no one has a mind like anyone else. I really like to learn and you are such a smart brave young man
I had a super intense dissociative episode almost 4 years ago now. I thought my family had been replaced by robots or I was in the matrix or something. I spent hours trying to “break the simulation” or dream by doing stuff I’d never done before. After they finally convinced me to get into the ambulance, I spent the whole ride to the hospital hallucinating the Sphinx and great pyramids made of gold bars, then tried to convince the EMTs to either kill me or I could pay them to drive me around forever. I still dissociate every other month or so, but not nearly as bad as the first time. I think it’s cuz of my prescriptions. But every therapist I go to either refers me to someone else after a couple sessions or drops me with no referral because I can’t help but laugh at basically everything. C’est la vie I guess.
Ava Essma Anxiety can cause uncontrollable laughter, however, mine is pathological. Meaning it just happens for no reason and over unfunny, neutral, sad, whatever stuff. As for the dissociation, I had two bad episodes and I’m pretty sure both were caused by bad mixes between my prescriptions and weed. Those episodes gave me minor-moderate PTSD, so any time I’m directly reminded of something from those events, I either laugh uncontrollably, get a panic attack, or slightly dissociate. In my case, I have genetic shit that causes mental and physical health issues. So I can’t say for certain what your problems stem from. Even if I did know, I don’t know if I would say just out of morality and plausible deniability.
I have bipolar disorder and ADD and a lot of other stuff, and I also struggle with showering and brushing my teeth. So I REALLY understand the diffculties you're having and I'm proud of you for showering more lately! I have planned days where I shower and when I have a day I'm not supposed to shower I don't need to feel the nagging guilt I'm not doing what I should, so that's a relief. Works for me at least.
Love it! And thank you for doing this. We as adults have a hard time talking about mental health. I certainly am not so easy to open up about mine... good for you! Its kind of inspiring 😊
I think you’re cool. And intelligent. I’ve been waking meditating nearly every waking second for 11 years and once sitting for at least about an hour every day. I’m 32. I’ve learnt that hypersensitivity is insightful
breaking down watching your videos dude. your so fucking inspiring. I suffer from mental heath deeply (not schizophrenia) but a whole bunch of other stuff and you putting this out there is incredble. Its going to help so many people and you are also probs one of the coolest people I have ever seen on youtube. Good vibes man
I could just listen to you talk for hours...even if you say absolutely nothing. You're a pretty cool kid. I feel your frustration, and am appreciative of your candor and intelligence. 💕
I have so much empathy for the sufferer of any mental health issues I have experienced severe depression I have a daughter with bi-polar which has caused so many other issues for her (she's doing so much better now w/healthier lifestyle and taking her meds) my husband and two out of the three of his children suffer with forms of mental health instabilities you are so brave and awesome for sharing parts of your life on here very honorable not to mention informative btw like your shirt and the fact you mentioned in one of your videos here you really don't listen to country or rap music lol but just about everything else same here !
Dude you have all of my respect and then some. To be able to go through what you do and turn around and share It to the whole world is a sign of amazing character. Just keep working your way through life man. Youre doing great keep it up.
Because of idk what I used to wake up at night sweating and thinking my computer was playin music super loud and I needed to shut it off. I did it like 13 times in one night and and my sister woke up and thought I was crazy... anyway the computer was always turned off and I was told all I did is went to get my computer rubbed the top like a genie lamp and went back to sleep lmao. But honestly the feeling was so horrible it was so claustrophobic and scary :(
This makes me feel less alone. Thank you for sharing your story/experience. I never thought I had schizophrenia but I’ve had really bad delusions before, the worst ones being about spies/being watched by the government. (I’ve never talked about it w anyone before so it’s even scary to talk about it here) but anyway, I ended up in the hospital once because of it but the episode ended as soon as I got there so I was never really given any assistance with it, and my family said it was just hallucinations from sleep deprivation. But being aware that’s it’s more than what I thought it simply was makes me feel relief because I can finally start to understand why I am like I am. 😅 Thank you for sharing and good luck to you :)
Wow you would be a good one to talk to my daughter. She doesn't have delusions or schizophrenia, but her bio mom wants her tested for some kind of personality disorder, which I think might be a good thing so she can be on the correct meds to help her feel "normal". But for a teenager to have someone their own age understand their mental illness is so important. I personally suffer from depression/anxiety and have pretty much my whole adult life. Anyway, thanks for being so willing to put yourself out there like that about your struggles with mental illness.
Your delusions remind me of the ones that John Nash experienced. I learned about him starting with the movie "A Beautiful Mind" where he was played by Russell Crowe. Very good movie and such an amazing life he had. John Nash was a mathematical genius and suffered with schizophrenia his entire life. He had an ongoing delusion about working for the government to help uncover Soviet secrets. Astounding life story. He was a winner of the Nobel Prize. I have panic attacks and anxiety but take meds for it and so it's not so bad now. Enjoy your videos. Keep them going!
When u mentioned that part with the motivation and teeth brushing and showering, like, I was just smiling to myself and nodding my head in cz damn dat shit gets me annoyed!!!! I loveeee ur honesty!!!!
Hello, this is the second video of yours I watched, I'm trying to understand what's going on with me being so paranoid, I have an appointment coming up with my doctor. Videos like this are important, it could really help someone who may be experiencing the same thing. I was just wondering, how are you doing now? I hope you are good 👍
I am finding your videos fascinating and I think you're a very brave man for being on youtube and talking openly about this. I'm sure it will help others who are experiencing similar things.
I've had delusions of being the antichrist I have bipolar 1 with psychosis. I literally always question my delusions I had before meds. I never told my psychiatrist I'm to embarassed to admit to a lot of things. As well as hurting animals as a kid and stealing around 6. I had hallucinations to of aliens on the walls talking to me. It doesn't happen anymore thank god. I'd never hurt anything now and I do community service but my heart pains when I think about how my young self had to have felt to be able to do that. I also heard voices of people trying to calm me down and support me while my parents faught and yelled at me. My latest breakdown helped me realise what I was experiencing.
I can relate to this a bit, actually. I don’t really know how to feel about that. I have a vague memory of me theorizing that I could be the second coming of Jesus Christ and all my sins were due to demon possession, but this made exactly no sense, and I even knew it when I was discussing it with myself. I was debating killing myself and stuff, I think. It was just this random occasion, though, so I don’t know how a professional in the mental illness field would declare the severity of this. I also have some thoughts related to animals that I’m too ashamed to discuss at the moment, and I’m not even sure if they’re always related to some form of psychosis, sadly. I don’t even know what my diagnoses are. It’s quite certain I have depression and anxiety, and probably social communication disorder, but some say I have ADHD primarily inattentive type and some say I have bipolar disorder with psychosis. I presume the bipolar is bipolar 2, given both my parents are this type of bipolar. I think I’ve derailed this comment to mostly focusing on me. I hope I don’t seem too self-centered. Thank you very much for this comment, though. It’s very nice to be able to come out about this stuff :)
the mind charities need to fund and support a channel for you..you are a total poster child for the illness and give kids hope as you appear to deal with it really well, have your shit together and give a very good insight into it for people who dont understand.
Your great, great hat!! & i LUV your shirt..DEF LEPARD ROCKS!! Hope you still got this shirt..Rock music helps me get through EVERYTHING!!! 80S& 90S ROCK. KEEP BEING YOU..🙌
You seem like a great guy. Awsome your managing your condition and inspiring and educating others. My brother has early onset schizophrenia its has been really hard for him.
I can relate to the, not being able to take care of yourself. A side effect of my PTSD is major depressive episodes and it can go days where i forget to eat, or shower or just brush my teeth.
Liked and subscribed. I admire your bravery, honesty and willingness to be of service to help other sufferers and educate the blissfully ignorant. My generation are traumatized by the barbaric archaic old methods of dealing with mental illness's I too suffer seasonally. However I'm self managed now and functioning. You have my support.
I had a doctor tell me it was just depression that caused my symptoms but it’s really schizoaffective disorder bipolar type. Basically schizophrenia with a mood disorder. It took forever to find a doctor that took me seriously and actually listened.
I like your hat and I love what you do, spreading awareness about mental health issues. Thank you very much and I wish I could be brave enough to do the same because in the Philippines, we definitely need more education. I’m a diagnosed hypo bipolar and I know many Filipinos would rather suffer and keep what they’re going through to themselves in fear of being called “crazy” which ends up to them not getting proper help and some ended really disastrous which is very sad. In this country even just going to the psychiatrist means you’re crazy so I really wanna be a voice like you. I even had partners in like who used my illness to insult me which was really soul piercing
hey buddy I like your videos! My uncle had severe schizophrenia, he contracted it in the eighties and went to jail several times, the guards beat him up there once. my family is of German descent too!
Im very dumb..always thought if you never skip your pills you cannot have the episodes because the drugs would block them in your brain. But i am here to learn and I gotta say I feel so lucky for not having any type of illness or depression etc so I really appreciate being healthy and I wish schizophrenia didnt exist.There is enough shit in the life.Thank you so much for educating dumb 45 year olds:-) but as I said I will want to learn till the day I die.Dont ever lose hope and never be ashamed.You are not misunderstood by everyone. ps: i have been much more careful with " strange" people since like 15 years ago but there is TON I dont know but at least im lucky not to be a judgemental asshole. ALL THE BEST TO YOU AGAIN.
That’s good that your went to a doctor right away. I didn’t because I was terrified to tell anyone about what I was going through and I didn’t understand what was happening to me.
Your bloody amazing....putting yourself out there so the public has an understanding about it.. Your bright and brave kudos to you..John Nash the mathematician also had schizophrenia who was a genius so it does happen to The brightest..keep up the good work..😘😘
Thanks for sharing your experiences through life , you seem like an incredibly intelligent young man and I wish you nothing but success and good health in your future.
I have schizophrenia, adhd and anxiety and I’ve been gaining weight since I found out I had schizophrenia and I haven’t been taking showers as much and I’m not motivated. I don’t have delusions but I do hear stuff and see stuff that’s not there and I once saw my grandma staring at me from the corner of my eye but didn’t look over and then about 5 minutes I looked over and she wasn’t there she wasn’t even in the same room as me, she was asleep. And I also walked into my room once and I heard and saw sponge bob on so I sat on my bed to watch it and the tv wasn’t on. I’m not on medications, I don’t have a therapist, I haven’t talked to my parents about it I’m going to tell my mom but I keep forgetting but schizophrenia is the most non understood thing idk really know what to do at this point
You are fricking awesome! You are so strong man! That’s cool you can tell you story. I wish we could all meet you. You seem so cool. You should write a book someday like from your point of view I’m a subscriber and look forward to your videos. I have a mental illness to Borderline Personality Disorder
And your shirt looks great, so keep using it. Ok, maybe not any more since this video is from 2018 :) No, seriously, I really appreciate your honesty and how open you are about this. Thank you so much.
delusions and other experiences of schizophrenia seem to overlap so much with the dream state... do you dream? do you feel a similar vibe when a delusion comes on as when you're in a dream?
delusions are paranoia and baseless fears, nothing to do with dreams. I have a friend who won't communicate through email cause he says it's not secure. I lost my patience with him.
just subscribed. i cant wait to see this channel grow. you’ve got a very interesting story and youre funny. hope youre doing good from where you are. stay safe!
I just saw you for the first time and I love you and your girlfriend. What a beautiful soul u r . I love your hat! I look so forward to getting to know more. I have PTSD that was diagnosed schizophrenia. We have many of the same symptoms. I have the same delusions as you.
I love that your doing this and I think this will help more people with mental illness and I also think this will help you. Your awesome kiddo keep on keeping on
Lmao I have adhd and idk what the heck is going on with my brain. There have been so many times where I’ll just wake up and go back to sleep in the same clothes for almost a week. I’m proud of myself if I can remember to brush my hair everyday 🤷♀️
Same, I have social anxiety, depression, trauma and, add, u know, without the hiperactivity. And I can be on the same cloth for an entire week, just bc I don't feel like doing something. I think it's a common thing among the mental illnesses... And it's one of the most hard to explain bc u know, it's brush ur teeth it's supposed to be something that u do without thinking
Eni Villegas Yeah it’s so hard to take care of yourself when everything is either distracting you or stressing you out to the point you don’t even know what to do next. I’ve almost cried going to the dentist a few times bc I don’t want to feel the embarrassment of having her tell me I need another filling or that I have another cavity. It’s so stupid bc it’s so simple to just go brush your teeth, and yet I can’t even do that half the time. I have a few anxiety disorders too so I feel you. I can’t Imagine how hard depression can be though. Half the time I’m still able to want to keep going in spite of me feeling like crap. I can’t imagine how hard it is to stop feeling the urge to do stuff as well. Best of luck to you pal.
@flagschange111 i thought working memory has to do with being able to hold abstract ideas in your head while you work without forgetting them. Like remembering to walk the dog while your mom tells you how she wants you to wash the clothes. Which still has an impact on being forgetful. But from what I understood about adhd its not just working memory that is affected, Its hyperactivity, impulsivity, organization, concentration, being able to stop and start tasks, AnD working memory! Heh 😬 You probably have stronger symptoms dealing with your working memory. My symptoms really like to show themselves with getting stimulated enough to even start and finish that task. And then also the concentration part too. Also, I thought that schizophrenia is caused by an excess of stimulation (specifically too much seritonin) whereas adhd is caused by under-stimulation? I mean I could be wrong though idk that much on how schizophrenia is caused. :/
Gosh I can totally relate to not havin the urge or motivation to shower, brush my teeth and stuff. I do that, and yeah people may think it’s gross but it happens