Good speech, but you need to learn the value of a pause. It's better to pause for a second and let your message sink in than to rush to fit more. You don't need to fill every second. Just take one of those 20 seconds, and breath :)
***** I hope you're still reading, because I really liked this presentation, but I think you also need to learn to summarize things. If you know how to condense your message into something more solid, it will also be more memorable and trying to do that will also develop your brains, because it's creative! Really stimulating and rewarding process, but you probably already knew this. No one's perfect!
