addressing my divorce & other rumours (Q&A) 

“I’ve always wanted to be a mom” rest in peace, my heart is broken

It’s so uncomfortable when a RU-vidr you’ve watched for years is suddenly gone. You feel like you knew them, but you feel like you have no right to truly be upset. But I am so sad. I hope she’s found peace in heaven

I know she passed,but as I watch this video something in me is thinking "I hope she gets through this. I hope she achieves her goals, meets someone she can build a family with and continue to travel the world". And then it sinks in. And it hurts.

I hope wherever you are now, you are free from pain, torment, sadness. Rest In Peace, Alex. 💛

Who else is here today after the tragic news? 💔 I pray for her family’s peace. Rest sweetly Alex 🕊️🤍

RIP Alex. You can’t be bullied anymore. You are safe and i am sure loved. But,you were loved here too and you will be missed.

I’m sorry, just so I can understand this right. Dan pushed her into terminating a pregnancy, divorced her, promised to look after/rehome her pets but ended up starving them to death and releasing some to die, and turned her best friend against her? This poor girl.

I never watched this because I tend not to watch uploaded live streams and seeing the title, I figured it wasn’t my business. Only watching now for some sorta understanding and hearing that she has 30+ unedited videos is so sad. I don’t know if anyone from her estate will see this but I would volunteer to edit them, I’m sure plenty of others would to if they would like to release them and if not that’s totally understandable and I’m sure it’s too early to even think about 😭gosh this is still so sad and shocking. Rest Well Alex ❤

Watching this 5th July 2024 8 hrs after the terrible post sharing your passing. What a horrible loss, I hope you’re at peace. Thank you for bringing joy to a lot of folks’ lives.

For those overseas asking about divorce. In Australia you have to be separated for 12 months before getting an official divorce.

I can’t believe you’re gone… I know people say we can’t have relationships with people online but I will miss you so much. I wish I could’ve been there for you ❤ RIP Alex

I hope her family keeps her videos on here for us to watch and remember how kind she was and how friendly she was.

She still had so many goals..

I'm so sorry about the divorce Alex. After 11 years, while we were looking for a home closer to his job, my partner changed his mind too. Out of nowhere. I can relate. I'm so sorry.

RIP little angel with pastel wings. I startet watching her while she only had a couple of hundred subscribers. I remember how happy they were together and how much she loved her birds. She has changed so much and she does not seem happy at all in this video. I was shocked to hear she died. 😢She was so young, had her entire life left… She surely underwent a lot of hard times but she is hopefully in peace now. Thank you for EVERY hour of entertainment you have given us!

Watching this now hurts so much. I hope you’re at peace where you are now. 🤍

“It will hurt one day until it doesn’t” 😢 Beautiful Alex, you’re not in pain anymore .. Rest in peace 🕊️❤️

I rarely feel this strongly about the death of a person I do not know personally, but this one really affected me. I’ve been watching you for 5 years, including the vlogs, which comforted me a lot to see that someone else went through the same struggles as me. As a result watching you every day on your vlog channel in 2022 you almost felt like a friend. You did not deserve any of this. You were such a ray of sunshine in this world and I’m so sorry others let you down. Your love for the people around you as well as animals really put a glow on your face and it breaks my heart that everything happened the way it did. I hope, if anything, you knew that thousands of people loved and cared for you. I can’t believe this news. I and many others will miss the ray of sunshine you cast over the internet and I hope you’re at peace now. 🩷🩷

I know you don't want to hear this, but I''m hoping you'll read my entire comment anyways. I've been in a similar situation with someone in my personal life, I told them not to contact me outside of very specific situations. This person kept contacting me anyways. And every message felt like an attack. My sister had to talk me down from multiple mental breakdowns due to this person breaking my boundaries again and again. It took a year or so of complete silence from this person before I felt comfortable giving them another chance. I know our situations are different and I'm not trying to say you're like the person in my experience. I'm hoping by telling you my experience it will help show that I'm speaking from a place of empathy, not accusations. You need to stop messaging Sam. I know you don't want to give up on him and I'm def not saying you should! Not giving up on him can simply mean not blocking him on anything. Right now, Sam has asked for space and the best thing you can do for your friendship is respect that. It doesn't matter if it's only one meme every 2 months or whatever. When someone asks for space but the other party refuses, it only makes the person asking for space pull away more. If you give him some space and time, you might find that he's more willing to hear you out. Anyways, this got really long, sorry about that. I do hope that things get better for you and I'm truly sorry to hear about the divorce.

I have been a follower since the very beginning. My heart is shattered. Should any immediate friends of family of Alex see this, please know that THOUSANDS of us have loved her and have been given so much joy from her over the years. May she rest in eternal happiness and peace. I wish I would’ve known the sadness she was feeling and been able to give her hugs and reassurance. Sending love.

Been in shock since yesterday . Alex seemed like the most soft-hearted and kind person , I can't believe how much hurt she's been through . So incredibly sad 💔

i've been watching you for so many years now and i'll admit i was worried when you didn't post in so long. i'm so sorry, Alex. but you're looking so much healthier and happier. i think you're far better off. oh and don't feed the trolls. they just feed on negativity because they're unhappy in their own lives. stay strong.

I went through a really rough divorce when I was younger. He made an excuse to visit family and never came back. We have a daughter together. Hardest thing i went through but I came out stronger, after a lot of healing. You got this Alex, you are so strong and I wish you so much love and happiness. ❤

I loved watching you growing up, I would get so excited when i saw you uploaded your haul videos were always my favourite. I'm absolutely gutted hearing the news of your passing it still hasn't fully sank in to be completely honest. I'm so sorry alex i hope you can rest in peace now 🩷

She came across as such a sweet, caring person. Her 'friends' and ex failed her so much. RIP ❤

I discovered your channel about 3 months before my husband left me. (Same reason actually, we planned to move cross country to get me more help with my physical disability and then he decided to leave me to stay in his hometown) watching your content really helped me a lot through my divorce. You are strong and now your community is here for you during this tough time! People were in absolute shock when they found out about my marriage breakdown thinking we were the ideal couple, but no one knows except for you and your ex partner what goes on behind closed doirst

I’m sorry you need to go through a divorce, that is HARD when the choice is not on you. But I can tell you this, only very strong people have the courage to show vulnerability like you do here. You answer questions so honest and open, and that’s brave. Not all people can do this. And btw, you look crazy freaking good! 😍

As one ADHDer to another, try not to feel guilty about moving on from hyperfixations. You don't owe anyone ending passion for anything, and the fact that it doesn't light up your brain forever doesn't diminish that you loved it and learned from it. It might even be something you come back to or build on with your next interest. That's part of how our brains work, and there's nothing wrong with that. Your viewers aren't your boss and you're not contractually obligated to love plants or to stream on Twitch forever. Sometimes it's okay to be a jack of all trades and a master of none. An award winning concert pianist trapped in a room with an amateur locksmith is still the least useful person there.

She was pressured into getting an abortion, and her “best friend” blamed HER for panicking and wanting to run off with the child. How did no one catch this? How did he possibly flip that onto her, especially when he knew how much the abortion haunted her. She has every right to share her experience with a manipulative man who led her on for years and dropped her. He calls her a liar and manipulator, but somehow cannot see how her ex was exactly that. We don’t know what happened their entire relationship, but the abortion situation seems extremely straight forward and heartbreaking.

You poor beautiful lady. Divorce is messy, but you could have moved on, you could have met your forever person, you could have had children, you could have made a group of amazing friends, things where clearly overwhelming, you needed more support than you got. I hope you rest in heaven free from all this awful drama. I’m sorry you never got to experience being a mother or having the right person in your life. We will forever miss our pastel goth queen. ❤

I was engaged to a man who I dated for 5 years. He was my life and I fully expected to marry him. He ended up cheating on me multiple times, and while I was completely crushed and heartbroken, I believe he did me the biggest favor of my life. Now it's 5 years later, I have a college degree, a full-time job in my field of study, and I'm starting grad school in the fall. This divorce is going to be your glow up just like my breakup ended up being!

I'm sorry to hear about the divorce but I'm glad that it seems you are much happier where you are right now- hopefully you guys can sort out the housing situation in Sydney so you can finally buy your dream home in Tasmania and really start your new life- and if you do we would love to see your progress in decorating it

Doesn’t seem like I have a right to grieve for you but you touched my heart and I’m so sad that you’re gone, I hope you knew how many people loved you and still love you. Fly high beautiful!

He knew he wanted a divorce when he told you to go on ahead of him an look for a place and he’ll join you.He had no intentions of joining you there, just wanted you out. All at the same time manipulating you into thinking that it’s your idea too. You look great. I hope everything works out for you. You one day understand why God didn’t want you there forever.

Poor girl, it just feels like Dan was leading her on for years rather than just admitting that his goals didn't align with hers. Anyone saying that they can't have kids until they pay of the mortgage but then insisting that they stay in a place where they will be paying one off for the next 20 years clearly isnt invested. He clearly never wanted to go to Tasmania and was just holding back the tide on the inevitable incompatibility. I used to watch her content all the time until she went awol. Just incredibly sad to hear shes no longer around and knowing so many people ripped into her when she did nothing wrong :(

I found you when you were very focused on your fashion hauls and despite having a dramatically different style than you did I was so sucked in by your presence that I religiously watched your videos for years. I don't keep up with twitch or Instagram in general so I had no idea but now I realize that the reason for that is because I relate so much to so many of the things you expressed in this video down to being diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, the disconnection with my body and the way you described the hope and satisfaction from making the choice to resolve it, the way you took the blunt of the blame for the the birds that died, and the way that you are openly expressing the pain and betrayal at the end of your relationship with Dan while respecting his decisions and perspective. I just want to say that I am so, so very sorry that you went through this and to hear of you feeling abandoned by some of the people you loved so much during that experience and that it has continued. I am so glad to hear you've built a new community for yourself and reflecting instead of dwelling. ❤ Also, it pains me to hear that you were so pressured by gossip to share something so private while you were still grieving the end of that period of your life. I'm glad you waited until you had the mental presence available to share, it tells me you are taking care of yourself now.

Over 10 years later from a similar situation, old friends have come to realise the truth and have come back to me, even some of his family. People apologising and acknowledging the past was so bizarre but very welcome. I have 2 children now, a lot older than I wanted them but they are amazing and well worth the past and the wait.

I'm so glad to hear that Archie is doing well and isn't actually hormonally aggressive! I grew up with a mom who hates and it terrified of birds so I've never really felt much for them until I saw videos with Archie in them. He's so cute and talkative and I fell in love! I was so sad when he stopped making appearances in your videos. I don't think I'll ever own a bird because I have cats and I plan on owning quite a few reptiles but I can admire from afar

Rest in peace with all the birds and lovely animals surrounding you, Alex ❤ I had started watching your content years ago and waking up to the news just felt so empty. :( your joy and openness helped me get through a lot in my life and when you moved I only wished the best for you ❤ rest in peace pastel angel ❤

God bless all the animals who are missing Alex, their person, right now. Sending love and comfort to them especially 💔

Alex😢 I'm so sorry you were failed by people that were meant to support you. I still have your video message to my son with Archie. I'll hold that now as a cherished memory. I'll miss you so so much girl 💖

Dating and relationships as an AuDHD, asexual person has always been difficult. You’re always thinking there’s something wrong with you, they need more than you can give, you want your own space but they don’t understand, etc. Being single now just seems like the better option.

You are looking absolutely refreshed and beautiful!! It's never easy when you think you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone then all of a sudden your whole world changes. You're a strong woman and you've got this no matter how hard it seems!

Also it's so frustrating that everyone turned their back on her . Having to beg the people around you to act like you exist at a time when you feel like you shouldn't is such a heartbreaking thing to go through . If I had someone I loved about who said they couldn't cope alone , no matter what I thought of them , I'd made sure they were ok and I'd alert people in their life

this world can be so cruel to those who are different and neurodivergent, you have such a charming, fun and unique soul and all of us who grew up entertained and inspired by you will always carry at least a tiny bit of it in our hearts. I hope you’re finally at peace 🩷🕊️

I was just thinking about you yesterday after not watching for a few years. So sorry to hear that you’re gone.

I wish she could have held on to the day it didn't hurt again. If you are struggling with a broken heart / broken relationship - believe it or not one day you will wake up and be okay. Heck, you may even wake up one day and the fog of the person you think you can't live without is gone and the sun is shining and smile when you realize you are happier without them. RIP Pretty Pastel

Dear Alex, you were loved. May you rest in peace… 🕊️🤍

You saved my mental health during the pandemic. That's when I first started following you...and knowing that watching your old videos will be the only way to hear your bright mind and soul speaking, is heartbreaking. You were and are so loved Alex...I will miss you very much and thank you for teaching us that the bird stays. I started advocating and rescuing them thanks to you.

She was one of my favorite RU-vidrs. I haven’t watched her in a few years but she was always a kind soul. I hope Archie is okay. I hope her family will be okay. My heart breaks for her sweet and kind soul and her family who are dealing with her loss. Ppl are mean and rude to break down someoen who was always kind.

I usually find commenting hard because of my mental health conditions, but I just wanted to say that I’ve missed you, Alex. You’re a beautiful soul, and sometimes people are so numbed by the toxicity in the world that they can’t believe that pure kindness and caring can exist in anyone. From one spookily inclined ace lady to another, I’m so damn proud of you for being here. ❤

Girl, YOU built this channel long before he came in to your life. Don't let him keep you from doing what you love. You can post unedited videos here, too. Hugs💜💜💜

Thank you for taking the time to address this and answer questions. I'm sorry you had to explain your life to strangers, and even more sorry for everything you have gone through. I hope this helps alleviate the speculation and harassment. You're a very strong person and I'm so happy you are in a better place now. I hope you continue to thrive and be happy, excited for what comes next!

Rest in Peace, Alex ❤️

rest in peace, queen. may your ex and your "friends" that sided with him feel eternal shame and misery for what they did to you.

im still not done with the video ive been watching it since it went live and my GOODNESS I really feel for you, Alex it really sounds like you confidently went through this decision while being assured security... then you had the rug ripped underneath you. Ive been watching you since your very first video, and its really heartbreaking to see the people that helped you start this channel treat you poorly. Yes you took on certain responsibilities, but you also entrusted people that assured you that they would supoort you and help you uphold those responsibilities. I hope u heal easy keep takikg care of yourself

I went through a horrific breakup that was basically like a divorce, and every friend I had made in that relationship stopped speaking to me, even though I was the manipulated person. So I understand how hard that is. I'm actually really happy now and married, but it still makes me cry when I think about losing my friends and the family I thought I had.

Those were the last words Sam ever said to her and ever will say to her that hurts even me and I’m not Sam… please be careful with your words you never know when you won’t be able to take them back..

Im so sorry alex. I love you, and i hope that you are happy now. I wish you could be here and see the world so beautifully. You saved my life in so many different ways, i watched your videos and watched you change and grow, i needed you to get me through my dark times. Im so sorry you didnt get through yours..

This honestly is so much more heartbreaking now. Not that we know what happened. But the fact that u went thru so much in ur life and this was some of the most recent. I’m so sorry 😢

Having experienced something really similar in 2018, losing an 8 year relationship, losing nearly my entire friend group to it...I am so happy to see you thriving right now. Long long time subscriber here, and so glad to see you still doing your thing.

For anyone who is wondering, i did some digging and found that she has passed because of lymphocytic myocarditis. And i did more research on it and on broken heart syndrome, they are verh similar so that may have helped in this case. If i am wrong i apologize. May she rest easily

They managed to extinguish your light..💔 My heart is broken for you, for your beautiful parents who lost their precious daughter & only child, and for your true friends - the ones who didn’t turn their back on you. You will forever be a luminous part of so many people’s lives Alex, we saw you, we loved you.. all of your magic & chaos, your quicks and your vulnerability, your gentle open spirit and your kindness. Already, you are so deeply missed. You deserved better, your dreams weren’t even close to being realised yet, you had so much more life to live and explore, and enjoy. My favourite creator, you felt like an old friend, I can’t believe you’re gone.. Fly high in paradise, angel 🕊️ ..you were too pure for this world

I've really been struggling with my mental health again right now & trying to fight some really bad thoughts. I just saw you have passed away and omg I cannot believe it, I've watched you for years and your videos always made me so happy you always seemed like such a lovely bubbly person with a beautiful soul. I'm so sorry you were taken from this world so soon in whatever way. I'll try to keep on fighting myself even though it's so hard. R.I.P. Alex thank you for being such a beautiful person inside and out & for all the effort you put into your content for each and every one of us, will miss you 😢❤💕

I just found out that Alex passed away. I used to watch her and Archie and also her Japan vlogs. I was watching about the suicide of Cheslie Kryst and a death notice video of Alex was one of the recommends, so it has me kind of rattled. RIP Alex. You were always a very kind person in your videos.

There are many things that can end relationships but the one that annoys me the most (mainly because I've experienced it myself) is the lack of communication. Having an opinion based on a "he said, she said, they said" is something I'll never understand. I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of that, I definitely know what it's like to have "what is going on?" running through your mind all the time and never get the proper answers but your loss has been on a whole other level. I know we're just followers of your content but we appreciate you and always hope you are doing okay, I wish I could know you in real life, you've always seemed like the kind of person I'd be great friends with. Glad to see that despite the loss you are rising up to have a happy life, we're here cheering you on, even if your content changes to fit your new/true self, because you are the reason we're still here. Sending all the love and support ❤❤❤

I miss her voice already

Honestly you coming back right now makes sense. You look amazing and grown up and glowing and I love it.

You look so healthy ☺️ ”it will hurt until one day it doesn’t” is such a good way to work towards healing

I hope you can all move on, without additional internet drama, and carry on for a brighter future. I wish you the best in your new Twitch adventures, it’s already so much fun to participate to your live and interact with you 😊

i’m sorry that your marriage didn’t work out but i’m glad you’re feeling better. i truly wish you the best❤️

Dang, I just got to the message screenshots and this is EXACTLY what my friend's ex did to her. He broke up with her and then spun their whole history to make her seem abusive and all of their mutual friends who were his friends first completely believed his story except the few who really knew my friend on a deeper level.... Also in regards to helping understand what's happening to you and why, there are a few times in a woman's life when her spouse or partner is more likely to leave her and it's when she gets sick, and when she becomes financially independent or more successful than him.....which is incredibly telling about some men.

I'm so sorry about the divorce and about the rumors people are making!! I can't imagine

Rest in Peace, Alex. Seperating and grieving the life you thought you'd have with someone is crushing. I struggle with it everyday as well

I came here to say shame on a few people that hurt this beautiful soul while she was still here but I hope they have enough integrity to feel shame for their actions without me adding to it. I just hope her tears are now dry and she’s only smiling and free. She feels can be at peace and can carry on. Lord bring peace, serenity, and wisdom to this situation.

This is devastating. I loved Alex and her upbeat personality. I had followed her for years. I can’t believe she is truly gone.

Rest in peace beautiful. My name is Alexandra as well. I used to watch your videos about Japan and clothes and thought it was so cool how you did all that. Fly high gorgeous nobody can hurt you.

Damn Alex. My fiance and I broke up two days ago. We had been together nearly 8 years. It's obviously more complicated than just this, but it's a very similar reason. I have had a yearning to move to a place I love, but he wants to stay where we are. It has been painful and strange, but at the end of the day, hopefully you and I will both be happier in the long run in the places we belong

I've been going through my own relationship stuff & this really resonates with me. It is comforting to see you thriving, beautiful, and learning more and more about yourself. It reminds me that whatever happens, I'll be OK. Glad to see you back, Alex. I hope to see much more of you & your journey. ♥

When my mum divorced my dad after over 20 year’s marriage my mums closest 50 year best friendships literally disappeared, people who were her best friends since childhood, who always said they would be there for her just disappeared, they didn’t even ask if she was okay, they asked my dad, my dad who they all spoke behind his back about because they didn’t like his behaviour! It really really showed who genuinely cared and I believe that isn’t down to the length of a friendship, time doesn’t matter, what matters is who was there through you darkest times and who helped you to the light whether that’s a week long friendship or a 12+ year friendship! Im so glad to see you happy and thriving and glowing now living the life you always deserved! ❤️

It's nice to see you back and sounding/looking much more confident! I'm sorry people on the internet can be invasive and mean. Hopefully you're doing better!

I really appreciate you sharing everything but especially the plastic surgery realities. I sometimes consider surgery on my nose but it functions for breathing, so it's really good to hear the reality. I could definitely learn to live with it and not take the risk.

I went through an extremely similar situation with an ex of a few years who I was planning to marry. I feel for you deeply and I'm so sorry so much vitriol and hate has been sent your way. You look amazing, you seem to be happier and healthier where you are and you truly are the embodiment of both "don't let them see you sweat" and "a lusher forest grows after a volcano eruption". Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable online, it's not easy and you've faced a lot of repercussions and undue consequences but as a survivor of narcissist abuse, seeing someone come out of a bad relationship and THRIVE (for the most part) helps so much more than I can express.

I came back here after seeing a sad story about her death. She had a lot of hate before for sharing her and others' private stories. Now, I can see that it was her sort of therapy session. She wanted to speak out her own struggles as she had no one to talk to. Bless her. R.I.P. :(

I’ve been in such a similar place to Alex, the abortion pressure when all I wanted was to be a mom (I didn’t end up getting mine), losing friends you swore were family for reasons you don’t understand, losing your animals, home etc. and her and I are the same age, and I have ADHD and OCD. I’ve also come close to killing myself a handful of times and now I have my daughter to live for. I’ve been watching Alex for years and this is really hitting me hard. I really genuinely wish I could’ve had the conversation with her even though I know I don’t know her because I feel like I could’ve explained that even though it feels like you’re already dead inside sometimes, there is such a good chair wake up tomorrow and feel a little bit different and that’s enough to keep trying. I hope she isn’t hurting anymore, I’ve been with a Dan and I’ve had a best friend like Sam who left and I know how much pain she must have been in

I watched the stream earlier. Hope you're ok after all the really difficult questions earlier. In awe of your strength and sending lots of hugs. x

I’m happy to see you back on yt, and that you’re happier now and doing better. The entire situation seems like such a mess to be in 😔 I don’t understand how friends could just ghost you and not reach out to find out your perspective? You obviously tried to get their perspective on the situation, which says a lot tbh. Wish nothing but the best for you and your pets and your friends 💜

I’m sorry divorce hurts so much. Especially when it’s out of the blue. I’m sorry that people can be hateful, and gossip and rumors. It’s sad that people don’t mind their own freaking business. I’m proud of you, you did it. I love your instagram with all the home renovations photos. Take care of yourself. Sending love and positive energy your way.

I am so heartbroken, i am so sorry how you were treated, what you went through. You didnt deserve any of this, nor did your family, i am so sorry for them too. Rest in peace, Alex, you will rest always in my memory.❤

I'm ace as well & I'm very thankful you're open about it!!!! it makes me more & more comfortable with myself

I'm so sorry about your divorce. But you look amazing! Sending you tons of love and support

As someone asexual myself its so nice to hear a youtuber i reapect and love watching any videos from, adress that it is hard to find relationships. Its so nice to have you back alex and to see you happy and feings yourself! Dont let anyone put you down or deny you of that!

I have missed you sooo much, you look so well. You've helped me through some dark days, so now it's our turn to help you ❤

As someone who struggles with a lot of mental health issues, I know how hard it can be especially when you go through such horroible things. I'm just so saddened to see that she's gone now. I use to watch Alex's videos religiously but I went through a really tough time a few years back and stopped watching. I had no idea about her marriage ending and how bad things got. It's so sad to see what happened.

I remember watching you 5 years ago :(… what happened!? I am so sorry I wasn’t there to show my support.

You look beautiful. Sorry to hear about the stress you've had to go through, but I'm glad you're getting to a new place in life where you feel happy. Keep moving forward. We appreciate you, and we're glad that you're finding your own peace.

I am so happy to see this video today. You genuinely are in a better place. I can see it reflected in your whole demeanor. Much love on your new journey going forward.

i’ve been watching you for a few years now, and im so sorry to hear about your divorce. i truly hope youre able to heal from that as its not an easy thing to go through. please take care of yourself and never forget how important you are alex

Even after Sam said he wanted nothing to do with her anymore, she still hoped that one day they'd be friends again and had no hard feelings. I wonder how he's feeling now that she's passed away.

You should be so proud of yourself Alex. You've got through the hardest points and now you're going to enter the best points. You got this!