I think what you wanted to say is to tweak your clocks so it appears it is later than it is, because when you have problem being on time then seeing that it's earlier than it is, actually is gonna create the opposite effect which is procrastination (thinking to yourself than you have more time than you actually have) something that most ADHD people struggle with.
ADHD Management use a card on that point of the video telling people to read the description and then explain what you wanted to say there. Did that once on one of my videos when I’ve noticed I forgot saying something important.
ADHD Management no it doesn’t, you just go and choose “poll” right underneath the promote video option, then just write something random On the two answers and use the question box as your “annotation”.
My mother would do this with our kitchen clock when we were young. I was alway calculating that actual time. It was also confusing have different times in different places. Now that I'm a father, I have a clock (or two) in each room. My oldest always has his head in a book so it doesn't seem to help much. He can get from bed to bus in 15 minutes. But only if that's all the time he has. If he is earlier then he will read until the bus comes and I need to drive him. He's only 6 (1st grade USA).
My being so late was the ONLY reason I thought my brain worked differently from others... I'm constantly late for things, and with public transport I can leave at the time I'm supposed to arrive and be 30 mins to 1hr late (I've even lost my way and been many hours late). It's not only time perception or inattention, but mainly my irrational over-optimistim. Anddd my sensitivity when people bring up the issue (all the time) doesn't help. Thank you for the video!
Me too, I actually lost a lot of my friends because of this. Can you please share how’s your experience now? And if there’s any treatments you recommend?
I don’t have an ADD diagnosis, but I’m late for everything. It’s really stressful, but I can’t seem to beat it. I try altering the clock, planning the extra time, etc..., but my mind eventually plays little math games rationalizing that I really have the extra time. I get on track with punctuality but can only maintain it for short periods of time. I appreciate your content. Like I said, I don’t have a diagnosis. I’ve taken enough of the online tests to indicate that I am probably the ADHD inattentive type. Your videos definitely give me the sense that I’m not the only person who deals with these problems.
That was me, always late, stressed about it, tried everything to change it, never really stopped being late, then a series of coincidences happened in my life and I started to learn about ADHD and I could relate in soo many levels with the inattentive type, then I decided to see a psychiatrist and got diagnosed at the age of 19, just a few days ago, and tbh I’m relived, it’s like I finally understand myself
I was LATE for a final exam in college and would have failed had I not taken the final... So i made a believable lie that my tire blew out on the way there... The instructor bought it and I was able to take the exam and passed... One of those moments when being late could have dramatically altered my life. I have no official diagnosis... but definitely think I have it.
I just hate showing up early and just standing around doing nothing and I dont sleep very well because I love my free time and when I wake up I need a good hour to TRULLY wake up I cant wake up and RUN like most people can I need to warm up like an old car. I also feel like people have an OBSESSION with being early which I dont understand because If im giving you 8 to 12 hours of my life whats the big deal with being 5 to 10 mins late.
Yes! I am just exhausted depressed and tired of rushing in the morning! Can't do it. Social anxiety doesn't help. Also when I was younger I couldn't understand why it was fine for people to leave an event early but rude to be late. I don't want people to wait for me, just get on with whatever is happening and when I can I'll get there.. (obviously this can only work in certain situations like parties.) I am weird though, because I don't mind at all & am actually happy when OTHERS are late. It gives me time to read on my phone or tidy care, send a text.. more free time for me! I also hate getting somewhere early where I have to have superficial small talk-where there is the fake and rushed "How are you?" while people are scramble coming in.. I can't focus and am just too nervous. That shirt that says, "Sorry I am late, I don't really want to be here" can be true in many cases for me. Yes, ADHD in attentive type, Anxiety, OCD, CPSTD before learning about toxic people & boundaries play a HUGE roll. Also growing up, my dad was hours late coming home (some point he changed his behavior but he is a morning person, I am not.) I have an expresso machine ready by my bed in the morning along with vitamins & meds. I find bad things happen if I rush, cutting myself shaving, falling down stairs, spilling, dropping or forgetting something.
Thanks for the tips. I just barely discovered the term _time blindness_ after suffering from it my entire life. One more thing I am late to the party on! I have always been called flaky and rude and could never figure out how everyone else did it, and how I failed so hard even when I tried my hardest. I like the way you explain topics from experience, as opposed to some PhD normie brain. Thanks so very much!
i really like how you phrased our distorted time perception! despite my diagnosis, sometimes its hard for me not to blame myself for always being late. im working on leaving earlier, and im very slowly getting better at it ahaha. thank you for sharing!
I got fired from my job for being late frequently, so it’s affecting my life into adulthood, adhd has caused many problems in primary school into secondary so it’s becoming a huge problem, I’m going to get officially diagnosed I was diagnosed before by a psychotherapist who is mates with my mam so it wasn’t official.
@@TheAdvenCastI got fired from my PT job only to score a great dream job and got fired before the grand opening. That one hurt. All for being few minutes late often, never call out…still struggling with it, always trying to perfect it. Good luck to you moving forward!
I've started calendaring every step. For instance, the drive is 40m. + 10 to walk to my car ... 5 to realize I (always) have to stop at the bathroom..+5 to go back and do/get whatever I forgot... 10 to stop what I'm doing and shut down my computer... Being Nero typical must be boring.
I have ADHA and I make all three meals for the next day the night beforehand plus I always leave 15 minutes in advance for anything. It’s always better to be early then late for any appointment. The meals I have are blended drinks; Handful of Kale, 2 or 3 ladlefuls or mixed vegetables 🍅 🌽 and three soup spoonfuls of kidney beans and 2 or 3 cups of water for lunch and dinner. For breakfast I have 1 to 2 cups of frozen fruit 🍌 🍎 1 tablespoon of peanut 🥜 butter and one serving of protein powder with 2 or 3 cups of water. Also drinking is a lot faster then having to chew your food so I’m done with my meal while everyone is deciding what they want. Occasionally I don’t prepare my meals for the next day and can see what a savings in time my preparation makes. They are non-commercially processed meals so really inexpensive to boot.
One of my co--workers said to me that the way they enforce punctuality at military boot camp is to tell the soldiers that they should always be 15 minutes early for every time deadline in the training day. If you are less than 15 minutes early, you have to do the penalty [ fifty pushups or another calisthenic exercise ] just as if you were 10 minutes late.
I have such a dislike for being late. I end up constantly checking on the time and checking when I need to be somewhere. I get everything done early. Then when I get there early I get so impatient having to wait. Yet if I was late, I'd get so stressed that I'll be irritable for ages after and more than likely I'll have forgotten something.
Yes! I am just exhausted depressed and tired of rushing in the morning! Can't do it. Social anxiety doesn't help. Also when I was younger I couldn't understand why it was fine for people to leave an event early but rude to be late. I don't want people to wait for me, just get on with whatever is happening and when I can I'll get there.. (obviously this can only work in certain situations like parties.) I am weird though, because I don't mind at all & am actually happy when OTHERS are late. It gives me time to read on my phone or tidy care, send a text.. more free time for me! I also hate getting somewhere early where I have to have superficial small talk-where there is the fake and rushed "How are you?" while people are scramble coming in.. I can't focus and am just too nervous. That shirt that says, "Sorry I am late, I don't really want to be here" can be true in many cases for me. Yes, ADHD in attentive type, Anxiety, OCD, CPSTD before learning about toxic people & boundaries play a HUGE roll. Also growing up, my dad was hours late coming home (some point he changed his behavior but he is a morning person, I am not.) I have an expresso machine ready by my bed in the morning along with vitamins & meds. I find bad things happen if I rush, cutting myself shaving, falling down stairs, spilling, dropping or forgetting something. I have cut down to a 1/3 of what I think I could do because I would over commit. I also find it takes about 3 times longer than I think a task is going to take. I have to have clocks set like 13 min or an odd hard to add amount of time ahead.
Literally same! Missed a whole semester of economics and teacher never took attendance. years later ended up getting fired from a good paying job and a part time one for being late one too many times. Whoopsie 🥲 I was late today in fact. Hits hard when you’re adulting now.
I’ve tried doing all these things for 48 years and they may have helped a bit but they haven’t completely stopped me being late. I’m hoping ADHD meds might be my last ditch attempt at being a productive human being
Look up how to boost dopamine. Example: exercise. When in need of a dopamine increase, do 20 sec of some move to increase your dopamine, which in turn will help you to get going.
My problem is that my mind compensates for the earlier schedule or the clock running ahead, and it is more forgiving with me until I am scared to shit out that I am really running late.
At 64 I have been sucessful in many roles: as a student (4 degrees with honors), a professional ,a parent. But I am chronically late to family functions & appointments. I havent worked since getting brain injury 3 years ago. I dont like to wait. I dont want to sit waiting so seems like thats why I come late. Rude, yes. Hard to change
I'm chronically late to work everyday and it causes my co-workers to dislike me. Like my co-workers think that I feel like I'm better than them or something because of me being late. I Wake Up 3 hours before I have to go to work and I'll still be 20 minutes late no matter what I do it's the craziest thing
Audio muted at the end? Other than that, great video about explaining it! I have an ADHD assessment booked for next month. I think I'm slightly autistic too.
I'm fortunate that my parents bought me a watch when I was about 8 and I got so used to wearing it, I would feel wrong if I wasn't wearing it. Little did I know it was helping me as much as it was.
I would work in cycles. Meaning that once I got into a new role I was usually in my honeymoon phase and everything is usually very new and stimulating enough to keep me focused. Now I’d still usually be a bit late, but only by 5-10 minutes. As time goes on this slips into 20 minutes, 30, 45, etc. as expected I usually chose work that is relatively flexible and allows for me to come in when I do, but there’s always still that expectation that I come in along with everyone else for the most part. Now when I plateau, I will usually seek to fix my new pattern of lateness and fix my sleeping schedule and wake up super early, but still be unable to get to work early. I would find literally anything else to do in the morning and still manage to be very late. I assume this has to do with me really wanting to take that time to get more dopamine, and going into work is associated with the unappealing combination of anxiety and/or boredom. I know that if I go to sleep at 8:30-9 pm I’ll wake up at around 5-5:30 am, but I can’t move myself until 6:00 and I want to listen to music or watch videos until 7-8 am at that point I’d be late from the original time I wanted to be at work so I just default to stimulating myself a bit more via social media or the news and then realize I need to get ready for work. Then I spend about 10-15 minutes finding my keys or wallet and force myself out of the door. It’s all kinda fucked up.
I find it very difficult to deal with late people. Yes I agree having ADHD or OCD is a problem, however, having consciousness and knowing oneself is a great start for therapy. All I know is how I feel about lateness, I can't and will not deal with it. Besides, one will end up with a reputation of being late thus causing no trust in what they say.
Same here. It has ruined my life. When people suggest things like, "Just leave early", I want to say, "You think I haven't tried that five days a week for my entire working life, or for anything else I've tried to get to on time?" or, "Really... I've been struggling with this all my life - trying to think of everything I can possibly do to overcome it - and you think you immediately have the answer." The suggestions in this video are ones I've heard from other people over and over, and of course I've also considered them myself long ago and tried them all, countless times. I don't even know why I ever still watch videos on the subject. When people tell me I'm just not trying hard enough, or that it must not bother me enough to put much effort into it, I want to ask how it could possibly not bother me enough when it's what has ruined my life and held me back from everything I've ever attempted. "Just wear a watch." "Just set your clocks ahead." "Just" this and that, as though the solution is as easy as whatever they're suggesting. "You're not considering anything I'm suggesting since you immediately come up with an excuse for everything I say." They aren't excuses for not trying; they are things I've already thought of and tried and failed. Do you think you can possibly think of anything I haven't thought of in my (over) 40 years of life? Besides, I didn't ask you your advice. I bite my tongue because I know they're just trying to help, but I remain upset for a long time afterwards. I know it makes no sense whatsoever to them. It doesn't even make sense to me! Being late for work starts my day out miserably every single day. I feel like I can't take it anymore, but then, I have to, because I have to pay bills to continue to live. One thing I hate: "If you aren't 15 minutes early, you're late." Or, from supervisors/bosses, "Promise me you'll never be late again." My word is important to me; of course I'm not going to make a promise I know I can't keep - probably starting with tomorrow! And then when they follow that with, "Of course if you don't believe it, it won't happen." You know, I believed I could do it for most of my life. Eventually you have to learn from experience, regardless of how you feel. The reason my integrity is so important to me is that it's the only thing I like about myself - the only thing I can possibly be proud of. If I didn't have that, I would be completely worthless. When someone sees punctuality as a matter of integrity, and accuses me of lacking integrity because of it, ooooh that makes me angry. I no longer try to explain myself to anyone, especially about being late for work. What's the point? Besides, I get tired of hearing the "advice", criticism, etc. Not explaining myself helps save me the stress and anxiety of all that. I try to just feel blank and numb, and silently accepting of any consequences. Keeping my mouth shut is quite the lesson in self-control, and accepting how it affects people's perception of me is a lesson in humility. I can't even say I'm sorry anymore, because the response is always, if you were sorry, you wouldn't do it anymore. I know people see me as an idiot, and I know I'm not (though I've been struggling to believe that as time goes on. "Am I sure I'm not lacking in intelligence? Few people believe they are; what makes me think I'm any different?" I feel like I just can't deal with living anymore, but every day I wake up and continue to exist. It's torture.
@@kellyherrinI’m 26 years old and I’m feeling every single word of what you wrote. The feeling of guilt is killing me from the inside and I appreciate your words as it makes me feel not alone. Do you have any more advices for a case like me?
Hi Stuart. Thank you so much for your channel! Really useful! Could you please tell me how to get a professional assessment in order to have a reliable and accurate diagnosis in London? Much appreciated! Bless you!
I’m breaking up with my boyfriend because of this. We’ve been together since 18 for four years and I’ve had enough! I’m a very punctual person because Being late makes me anxious. I took the time to build my routine and figure how long it takes me to do things. I know it’s takes me about an hour and half to shower,do my hair and makeup and eat. Now that I’m a nursing student his lateness is effecting my school work and schedule. Love him dearly but can’t see myself marrying someone with this issue. I’ve been patient with him because he has ADHD but i can no longer do it
am the opposite, I get to places 1 hour early, I manage all my tasks and I end up doing them to quick spend alot of my till just waiting till the next task and can't focus in stuff inbetween if I have something to do in like 2 hours time.
I've heard these tips before and unfortunately, they don't work. When you have more time to do things, you relax more, and become more inefficient in how you do things. So it just ends up taking more time to perform the same tasks, then you fall behind schedule (again) and you're late (again) and now even more discouraged because in addition to being late you've wasted time.
I noticed you mentioned that you've learned some things that have worked for you. What is your opinion of people speaking to routines or methods to implement when they have only just begun? Should they wait to speak about how it has worked after a certain period of time, if so, after how long? I often find I get so excited about a new technique (likely to leave behind the lack of stimulation from the current method) that I abandon the old technique and never full try a technique for long. I work harder at this now for consistency when I develop routines for being on time. Time blindness is all too real, indeed!!!
@@zainseyal Yes! I was diagnosed in 2019! I've learned so much over the last few years about ADHD and myself, so I'm always inclined to notice ADHD mannerisms and then can't stop talking. Haha, like now!
@@ADHDMastery i feel one of these would be good for myself for a session or two, physiatrist or similar, the gp is exactly that, general. They just listen for 5 mins max, and offer a ssri without knowing any root causes to taylor meds. For this reason ive never accepted anything. I tried local counselling 5 yrs for anxiety but felt I'd already tried everything they suggested & it was quite poor. Only in the last 12 months has adhd consideration made a lot of sense.
Trying so hard to focus on this video about people who struggle with focusing, but OMG that thumping or heart beat in the background is driving me INSANE!! 🤮
