"Ambiguity is ADHDer's kryptonight!" OMG! I never heard anyone say that and it is SOOOOOOO true. I used to have problems with that at work. Whenever there was ambiguous direction in a project I would just freeze, I didn't know what to do at all. My coworker said "just start", and I that made ZERO sense to me. But what happens if you are your own boss and must create fake deadlines and boundaries for yourself? My brain knows I made these constraints up and constantly bipasses them.
In some cases that freezing is reasonable. You don't «just start» a project that's *really* complicated, as there may be sh*tty consequences. You need to think about them first - it's not bad, it's just a byproduct of your mind warning itself.
For the last part about creating fake boundaries/deadlines Idk if this'll work for you, but my cheat is I make a to-do list, and then strike off the next thing needed done as if it's done. Makes me feel obligated to complete it. Sounds silly but works for me! so if your list is: -Groceries -Clean garage -Laundry -Dishes And you plan to do laundry next, strike it thru like you finishednit, then start on it right away. Helps me do things, worth a try😊
State - physical & emotional. Get enough sleep, nutrition, exercise, relax and regulate your emotions. Thinking - is my fear true or am I making assumptions. Take a few deep breaths. Examine your thoughts. Interest - spark your curiosity. What is the value or benefit of the task. Get a body double. Clarity - how should things look, what should I do next... Knowledge - do I have the right skills to follow through, how to get them, ask questions, what could go wrong. Structure - to-do list for what, when and how long should be done. Set boundaries on what is possible for you. This gave me a lot of clarity and structure! Thanks, you showed us pure gold :)
I ended up at my doctors office after dealing with this. Twice. I ended up avoiding tasks completely, and the work piled up . The first time, she said I had anxiety and prescribe me medication for anxiety. I started it, but didn’t feel much difference(even knowing that it takes time to start working). So I finally went back. she thought it could be ADHD, so now I’m on Adderall, which works instantly. The calm feeling is a bit strange to me, but I am finding myself working through things that I would have stressed over previously.
When you have managed to “overwhelm” yourself with so many resources that you have no idea if you have signed up for Caren’s email list or not…who am I kidding? “You” is me! 😂
I can't tell you how much money I have spent on psychologists trying to explain this problem to them. Spoiler alert: they didn't get it and their advice was useless for me. Not only did you explain what is happening so well that i guarantee that's my problem, but your sticks is such a good problem solver (at least it sounds that way - ill try it out). You listed a couple reason for feeling this overwhelm that causes people to get stuck but for me, it's housework and daily living tasks like errands, bills, making appointments etc. I'm very grateful for this video. Thank you
I really appreciate the approach you have towards encouraging adults with ADHD. I really dislike the infantilization of adults with ADHD and using having a differently wired brain as an excuse to not act like an adult or avoid adult conversations; I feel I can do the thing !! Dare I say all the things !!
Me too. Either one alone is hard but the two together is completely debilitating. I also have fibromyalgia, chronic pain and fatigue. Yippee! I've been in ADHD paralysis and CPTSD freeze mode all day. I know how to get myself out of the ADHD paralysis but the CPTSD feels impossible. My nervous system is literally screaming that it's not safe to move.
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 😩 *Introduction to ADHD Overwhelm* - Introduction to the concept of ADHD overwhelm, - Karen McGill introduces herself as an ADHD coach addressing common feelings of overwhelm, - Importance of acknowledging feelings of overwhelm in individuals like Emily and providing support. 01:38 🚗 *Overwhelm's Impact and Risk of Burnout* - Explanation of how prolonged overwhelm can lead to burnout, - Metaphor of driving a car with the emergency brake on to illustrate the strain of constant overwhelm, - The danger of not addressing overwhelm leading to burnout. 02:33 📚 *Framework for Addressing Overwhelm* - Introducing a framework to understand and address overwhelm, - Importance of clarity on the causes of overwhelm to find solutions, - The significance of accessing executive function skills to navigate overwhelm effectively. 03:27 🧠 *Nervous System's Role in Overwhelm* - Explanation of how our nervous system reacts during overwhelm, - The impact of fight, flight, or freeze responses on accessing executive functions, - Recognizing and understanding one's nervous system response to address overwhelm effectively. 05:19 📝 *Using the STICKS Framework for Overwhelm* - Introduction to the STICKS acronym for understanding and addressing overwhelm, - Breakdown of each letter in the acronym, including State, Thinking, Interest, Clarity, Knowledge, and Structure, - Emphasis on using the framework as a tool for self-awareness and problem-solving. 06:30 🤔 *Evaluating Emotional and Physical State (STICKS: State)* - Importance of recognizing one's emotional and physical state during overwhelm, - Addressing factors like sleep, food, and emotional state as contributors to feeling overwhelmed, - Strategies to improve emotional regulation through self-awareness. 07:26 💭 *Analyzing Thought Patterns (STICKS: Thinking)* - Exploration of thought patterns contributing to overwhelm, - Recognizing limiting beliefs, perfectionism, and negative thought spirals, - Strategies for neutralizing and reframing thoughts to alleviate overwhelm. 08:37 🎯 *Aligning with Interests (STICKS: Interest)* - Understanding the role of interest in motivation and task completion, - Strategies to make tasks more engaging and meaningful, - Leveraging dopamine and interest-driven approaches to combat overwhelm. 09:31 🕶 *Seeking Clarity in Tasks (STICKS: Clarity)* - Importance of clarity in defining tasks and expectations, - Strategies for asking clarifying questions and understanding task objectives, - Addressing ambiguity as a contributor to overwhelm and seeking clear directives. 11:27 🧰 *Evaluating Skills and Knowledge (STICKS: Knowledge)* - Assessing one's skills and knowledge in relation to task requirements, - Encouragement to seek knowledge and resources for skill development, - Overcoming barriers to task completion through curiosity and learning. 12:49 📅 *Implementing Structure and Boundaries (STICKS: Structure)* - Emphasis on creating structure through planning, scheduling, and prioritizing, - Importance of setting boundaries and managing expectations, - Strategies for organizing tasks, time, and environment to alleviate overwhelm. Made with HARPA AI
Watching this video makes me sink even deeper into my overwhelm. Feeling incapable in every way possible. I'm useless, seemingly can't be helped, and no will to do anything about it. I've been doing therapy, and I just can't make anything happen. I feel despair in everything.
Don’t worry you have a great purpose . You just have to overcome this obstacle . It’s actually somewhat of a gift to be going through this right now , once you crack the code on this and master it , you will see that you are quite useful and you can even help others in this same situation. I’m in the same boat at risk of failing my courses again , but I know that there is a plan for me I couldn’t even imagine a life without purpose I want it so bad . What I can imagine is overcoming this obstacle and seeing a great blessing that came from all of this struggle . Don’t give up keep your hope for the future , I pray often and make sure to keep my faith above all things. I’ve been considering getting medicine maybe for this issue , maybe that’s a route you might have to take just for the moment . Don’t give up God has a plan though you can’t see it yet , have hope .
Unironically: “Resparklize” is my new favorite word and now a permanent part of my life. Also, I dig your channel and I swear it feels like you made this video for me. Thank you.
This was great! My son, who is in high school, is having an overwhelming response to trying to organize and accomplish his work. It is so stressful for all of us and disheartening to see him hobbled by executive function issues. He’s such a bright, amazing person whose brain doesn’t easily succeed in this neurotypical world of school. I Can see him already limiting his beliefs of who he thinks he can be. I feel like I need a PhD in psychology to parent this kid.
Oh my gosh! Your post really touched my heart. It’s great to see that you’re such a caring parent. Just keep on supporting him and his beliefs and letting him know that he does not have to be main stream. ❤️
At 54 years old I am finally looking into this. I would move provinces to get away from things. I feel for you Emily. I could have written this exact statement.
Same. It was totally ridiculous. At every speed I listened to it. Kind of aggravating. So much blah blah blah in such a harsh annoying way. Plus an acronym. I hate acronyms for stuff like this. Not helpful at all. 😢
Glad to find your content! I've found I keep falling back into the freeze, procrastination, making a big decision, overwhelm loop. Thank you for pointing out likely causes and the best way to tackle it!
Wow! This is why I “froze” when faced with my mom’s cluttered apartment when I had to move her to a nursing home. Never been diagnosed with ADHD but this totally explains why my 2 cousins were able to thankfully swoop in and help me and I was unable to do much. The clutter, the stress, the exhaustion all added up to overwhelm.
It just occurred to me I was better at Self Regulation before I moved back in with my mother(we're 41 and 72). But also hearing stories i'm better at giving advice than tsking it.
This is excellent content. I am undiagnosed (can't afford assessment) & currently under a mountain of undone work. I have been struggling and I think the big thinking / anxiety piece is important. It's hard to work well with 'I'm about to get fired' playing in the background. Because my work as backed up, I have found the to-do list itself overwhelming. It usually triggers the freeze - I work from home and am drawn to anything sparkly/ stimulating for a boost, news and current affairs is a big one. This list was helpful though, I feel much calmer now, the first step being stop playing the 'I'm about to be fired' theme song... if I am, I am and worrying isn't going to help. Thank you
When my job was like this, I spent a bunch of time on making systems for myself. Sometimes my favorite “system” was introducing a random operation to “TELL ME” what to do. You can always figure out a way to ask yes or no question of a dice roll, or card draw, or opening a book and pointing. I’ve found that my subconscious mind will help make it clear IF I LET IT.
This video came at exactly the right time! Moving, starting a business, and applying for my citizenship - it's a bit nuts. I started freezing up a couple of days ago and the stress of it all was making me so tired. I'm going to work through this today. You're the best!! Seriously, thank you!!
Experiencing the same with my studying last year or two. Do enjoy the comparison to the car engine with lacking maintenance. Working on cars a hobby for me, what made me realise I have to do some "maintenance" to myself to function as well. (Before my diagnoses) Always liked maintaining things, everything besides myself ironically. Learned that I can't just try and push through, calling myself lazy and stupid when I fall behind or put too unrealistic targets for myself, from the all or nothing mentality. But rather look at the problems, one by one, give myself recovery time and sleep, fresh air and recovery I need. It's always an uphill battle, but pscyhoeducation sure makes it all a lot more realistically doable.
It does. I actually can’t work due to a lifetime of bullying in primary, secondary and tertiary education and in the workplace I’m on disability support
I've never had anything that I could do, even with decades of therapy, that allowed me to get myself unfrozen and out of an expectation talespin. This video is life.
I am currently a SAHM with ADHD. Having small ADHD children with me every second of the day is so disruptive. I never know if or when I can complete a task. My high demand, deadline driven career was so much easier to manage.
I struggled with this tremendously the last few years to where I was let go from a job after 5 months because I was so overwhelmed & burnt out from the job prior. I also realized how much I HATE the industry I worked in (Recruiting). Haha Thanks for the info, really helpful!!
Had a similar experience in Jan 2022. Got a new full time job in Nov 2022. 4 day home office 1 day office. Previous workplace didn't want to let me go so I stayed parttime. Just started university in Sept 2021. The new full time job suffered and I was let go after 3 months. Almost worked myself to death :(
@@msdimi01 it is far too common. I made a vow to myself, never again will I self-abandon for an employer. I've gained additional awareness to now know when it’s too much. ❤️✨
I am a complete state of overwhelm for weeks now. It’s so bad that I’m not sleeping because I have so much to do. Yet I can’t do anything because I’m too tired to think?! I’ll start on the worksheet tomorrow. I’m so tired of staring at my phone and wallowing in despair.
This is so relatable. Thank you for posting this! I literally get so stressed because I’m a master-procrastenator, and always fall behind and have to play catch-up with courses because I get so overwhelmed and I just get paralized and end up not doing anything. This vid was so helpful with maintaing awareness, which I think is vital to start the process of remeding paralysis. Thanks again!
Man, my issue is a mix of overcommitting and too much to do. But a huge amount of my overcommitting has been projects to forever reduce the workload I’m facing. Issue being, now I’m a burnt husk who can’t do anything anymore anyway
feeling so stuck because im in between jobs and i need to register for classes next semester but because its summer i feel like im in a floaty limbo part of my life and it makes absolutely everything impossible to do i just keep sleeping the time away because i feel so overwhelmed and this is an incredible video that is making me feel so heard and validated and now i know i am capable of literally anything!! I just need to have some boundaries and structure set up for myself! Thank you so much!
pretty good advice, and while the one about jobs SHOULD work, I've never seen it actually work in practice. I've had a couple different corporate office jobs that were filled to the brim with meetings. Entire departments approached the powers that be and explained to them just how much time all the silly little meetings were taking and basically asked the same question. "Do you want us to sit in meetings or do you want us to get work done?" The answer was "both". I've even approached management on my own before and explained that you can't do 12 hours of work in a 8 hours shift. Their answer has always been "well you better figure out a way". I know it's really not what the video is about, but man, makes my blood boil.
This is such a real issue, I have a brand new dream job and for the life of me I can’t seem to get there on time!!! It’s so frustrating because I know this is really bugging people I work with
Good video. One thing I do if I'm in a "one person department" situation is write down everything that has to happen and then organize it into a timeline. Allowing for scheduling conflicts, prerequisite items, special circumstances. Then I make a schedule and only look at a small chunk of time at once. Go from task to task. And the second one doesn't exist until the first is accomplished. This works out best if you don't have a hard deadline, but it does work, for me.
This channel has helped me so much in the last week I feel the most productive I’ve been in a while just by implementing a few of the strategies (especially for my short term memory) and just overall understanding how my brain works
I have no diagnosis of ADHD, and I have hardly looked into it. But I am more or less in a functional freeze state for the last 4 years and everything you explained is my situation to the T. Thank you so much! I feel grateful to have come across this video.
The “clarity” example you gave is so me! I’m working on getting ahead of that but keep repeating the same mistake of going down that rabbit hole. I have to keep reminding myself to stop and ask for clarification.
I'm recently diagnosed and my holistic medical practitioner explained that ADHD, PTSD and OCD are all trauma responses. She recommend Somatic experiencing to help release trauma because trauma gets trapped in the body, and when not released can cause a myriad of issues within the brain and body. Has anyone else heard of Peter Levine and Bessel van der Kolk? They're both amazing pioneers in the field of treating trauma ❤
There are many studies showing ADHD is a lifelong developmental condition. Those who think it's because of trauma refuse to look at the science and just make stuff up to feel like they are smarter than the actual specialists. People also used to think that autism was from bad parenting but were proven wrong. Let's not do the same thing with ADHD. ADHD can cause trauma as others don't understand the condition and expect too much, judge, and shame us.
I'm just so grateful that I find ur video, like... Thank u so much for helping me not drowing😣 I feel like now I can take baby step to clean this mess step by step
watched video July 12 2023-Caren really has taken off on her excellent instructional videos. I learn SO MUCH AND GAIN PEACE FROM THEM. thank-you Caren !!!!- your student Deborah
omg I am so glad I found this channel have been feeling like my mind just has multiple personalities with careers, with my spirit, even with my heart and it is because I try to take on all the things that interest me this definitely speaks my language and makes me understand myself a lot better
I tried to advocate for myself at work explaining to my manager that it was impossible for me to complete my tasks without skipping lunch or working late and she just brushed me off saying that it was a time management issue when clearly her expectations were way out of line with my work schedule and availability
I just found your channel Oh my goodness you speak to so much of what I experience! So helpful to hear, I've never been diagnosed, but I am a trauma survivor (like so many) and freeze mode was my way to survive. Now as a 53 yr old woman I find I have had multiple coping mechanisms for my life to date. I have built some systems to help, but sometimes even those have failed. Some failures have led me to greater things though, so I cannot discount it. This is really making me think about having a therapist review, I've never thought of it before - I only sought therapy at different intervals for depression when I it was rather challenging but never thought about ADHD. I think I need to understand the different attributes of PTSD (which I know I have as a trauma of childhood) and ADHD. I also think I am similar in that I freeze and I have times when I am a massive idea generator like you have described. So many projects I have started and not finished! Like a boater on the lake I leave a bit of wake. cowabunga!
This is really helpful and I resonate with the STICKS framework for sure. I've hit burnout already, which I thought I was healing last year and I spiraled right back into it. Luckily the one thing it did for me was show me what causes it (isolation and ambiguity) so I'm working with my manager to put me on better projects where I have a larger team and more accountability. Unfortunately because I'm so burnt out, it's still impossible to feel any motivation or have any sort of discipline. I'm realizing why burnout experts claim it takes 3-5 years to fully get out of it. I really feel how slow this process will be to get myself back to my old self. I'm really thankful I came across this channel though for helping me realize exactly how my (recently diagnosed) ADHD is contributing and what factors might help me channel my energy better.
Well said, thank you also for an intelligent posting. We are all smart ADHD’ers😊…we all just need a little encouragement to keep marching forward and to fully realize that all is not hopeless when we have a framework to work within. Also, address your endocrine systems and hormonal levels along with the structural behavior techniques. 🙏🏻 and let God be your guide.
I came across your clip at the right time and am in a similar situation as Emily, feeling like I have done so many things yet accomplished nothing. The project I'm working on is overwhelming me. Your instructions are clear and give me the strength to take a deep breath and sort things out. I'm glad I watched your video. This helps a lot. Thank you
My own notes on the STICKS method 🙂 I hope this helps anyone else to add to their own journaling or to come back to if they prefer to read tips 🩷 S- State: How are you FEELING in the moment? (physical pain, physiological needs not met, energy, mood?) THEN engage in emotional regulation/grounding (small movement, short outdoor activity, socialize, tapping EFT, maybe take medication) this will help you get out of freeze response. T- Think (Mindfulness): With COMPASSION, notice any cognitive distortions/intrusive thoughts (Types: All or Nothing, Mind Reading, Catastrophizing, Labeling, Wishful thinking, Emotional Reasoning, Unreal Ideal, etc.) REFRAME the thought with a response that you would say to a loved one if they thought the same. I- Interest If the task feels boring, is there a way to make it more interesting? (listen to music, body-double, habit pairing, fancy tea/coffee) C- Clarity: CHOOSE what your small, chunked out steps actually are, CHOOSE what "done" looks like. IDENTIFY length of time certain tasks take, IDENTIFY the task giver's expectations are instead of assuming. K- Knowledge: Do you have the research, tools, and skills to do the task? Be honest in order to prevent perfectionism. MEET YOURSELF WHERE YOU ARE. Is there any cognitive dissonance (intentions that don't match your actions like lying to yourself) at play? S- Structure: Routine, Schedule, To-Do lists, Organized Environment, and any other ADHD tools that work for YOU. - ADHD tools work different for every ADHDer! - Explore and discover what external triggers (like a tidy desk) help launch your executive function
Sticks is a lot to me. I get distracted 10 different ways in the first step, start on 1-2 of those, each of 1-2 leads to another, and pretty soon I’m just wandering in circles trying to recall what I started for, prioritizing all the “new” things, what can I do right now? and where AM I anyway 🤦♀️🤯😵💫
A tip for everyone who finds themselves unable to follow conversations because of distraction/whatever. My trick is to find or just plain make up an interesting question about the person. "How did they get this way" or "Why do they behave in this way?" "What was his father like, did he have one? Or.his mother?" "I wonder what he's insecure about and why" "wonder what they think of me, or whether they think about you at all cuz they're so busy". And an infinite number of questions you can hold in your mind ( DON'T ASK THEM THE QUESTIONS FFS) to turn their mystery that all strangers (and even friends) inherently carry. This helps me me the person interesting to me thus I listen well to their words.
Hey, great video! I feel overwhelmed all the time since forever and after watching this I can finally understand why, so thank you! Btw I love the way you talk about topics and I always feel hope after watching them, while watching other channels give me the opposite effect, since they generally only say stuff like "your brain is just like that, good luck". On the other hand, your content really helps to understand how these situations occur and give tools to deal with them, which I appreciate a lot. So again, thank you!
Thank you so much, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed for a while and have been watching a bunch I’m of videos, but this one really helped me clarify things and realise the root of my problem, a lack of structure
This is EXACTLY what I needed today. I have been stuck in overwhelm for about the past 10 years, with the occasional moment of clarity. I’m about to tackle my day with some STICKS. 😉
I need help understanding what is too much work. I feel like the right amount of work for most people is too much for me and then I have a shame spiral. Until recently, I also had a boss who never meaningfully answered my questions or gave me much structure. I would have burning questions and asking him for help just made them burn more. This did so much damage to me over two years. I am trying to recover but it's hard. I'm glad you're here for us.
Wow, I can resonate with every single word, both in terms of the stated problem as well as potential solution, as i suffered from pretty much same situation for years which eventually led to / contributed to severe depression and Corona- and home office-induced social anxiety. I began therapy a year ago and was ADHD diagnosed 6 months ago. This enabled me to realize first time in my life that I'm not a lazy, disorganized, parasitic and unworthy piece of s**t (thanks to my narcissistic father). Instead, i began to understand that a better life is possible and that i can take up responsibility for my future self while i'm not at fault or personally guilty or to be ashamed for my past. Sense of shame and guilt remains a huge challenge for me, often getting in my way to successfully adopt and evolve the systems we need to deal and eventually thrive with our ADHD. This video, dear Caren, has wonderfully expressed in a crisp and comprehensive way some of my raw thoughts and learnings about dealing with overwhelm, you have given words to those immature thoughts of mine. ❤❤❤
You're a natural teacher. So much energy and enthusiasm. by the way, when I worked in the office around 2010 the decided it was a good idea to get rid of cubicles and have everyone sit next to each other in a giant room with computers a foot away from each other. It was a true nightmare for an ADHD person. But no one at work even considers these things. They don't create work environments for neurodivergent people.
Can you provide an example of how to find a colleague you trust? It would have to be someone who has your best interest at heart but also must be accepting and understanding of ADHD.
I found some colleagues I trust, just by having honest conversations and watching their reactions. Also, watching for when they show trust IN YOU. Some simply don’t understand ADHD, because they’re not exposed to accurate representations or education on what ADHD really is. (Can’t really fault them for that) The person I trust above all others at my organization falls in this category.
so much of the solution is just simply being curious and earnestly asking other people questions. but unfortunately so many of us ADHDers are scarred from doing this as children because so many people, both kids and adults, are just willing to whip out the old “what, are you stupid? you really didnt understand what i said?” to a child and this only gets worse as you get older. I became petrified of asking questions or asking for any kind of help. this has been where most of my struggles stem from. i’m so petrified of re-experiencing that kind of rejection.
This is helpful. I also agree that nutrition has a lot to do with it. I saw a comment where someone was eating chocolate, which I also love. Unfortunately most chocolate has lead & cadmium in it…..which is obviously toxic. We can’t escape everything, but just do our best to eat Whole Foods & nothing processed. When we are not well, everything seems harder.
Hi diagnosed at age 49. Had ADHD for all my life. Explains a great deal of my life overwhelm, impulsive all the time, hyperfocused, RSD too. Now rolling on Ritalin and having better more stable focus. I still think there is stigma with ADHD with some people. We are all different in this condition I believe. I'm diabetic also so I must eat regularly. My job requires lots of physical exercise so that's a plus but I go at lifting and moving things way to hard and fall in a heap.
I’m a new subscriber, listening through your videos while I take care of tasks. It’s motivating and your advice is so logical. This channel was a great find. Thank you for what you do :) I’ll listen to some a few times so they sink in.
Thank you for your existence ❤️ you’re such a life saver honestly, putting what I’ve been struggling with into words helps a lot. As the only one in my household and nearest family with adhd it’s hard no one really knows how to help me everyone gets frustrated and just don’t understand. So I’m here to not be frustrated and understand myself. For me. And to get my mind under control lol. I just really would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart you are very much appreciated ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am so glad I found your channel! This was such a helpful video. You provided so many "aha" moments for me just in this one video. I feel there is hope now! Thank you!!
Thank you! Nice delivery. Very clear ideas, and I appreciated your writing it down. You have a calming manner about you, like you both understand and accept us. Having a traumatic brain injury exacerbates (rather than exasperates 😊) things even further. I've had ADD since before my TBI, but now executive functioning is really in the toilet. TBI fatigue also really slows things even further. My intentions far exceed my output, but I have to keep reminding myself I'm doing the best that I can in this moment, as I fall further and further behind. Heavy sigh. 😮😮is, Clarity is a biggie for me now, as many things I honestly don't know what to do next (when I used to) especially when it comes to paperwork and trying to develop a new working system that's functional for me. I can't find things, as if I don't see it, it disappears off the planet. Have even taken to taping important papers on the toilet seat as I know I'll see it there... Lol Anyhoos, thank you and blessings to you all!
I can’t believe all I’m hearing and seeing I was always so hard on my self my family always without knowing putting me down I couldn’t stay in a job more than 1 or 2 years getting depress and didn’t realize I had a problem until now and I just turn 30 years old . I found out studding for real estate and having an amazing boss and work and I had to quit loving my job being so overwhelm what it to do everything and no completing things. I couldn’t make a excuse like before saying bad boss work environment being toxic. Being in a job that I love and me reacting the way I did made me thing and search and then is when I found what ADHD was. Seeing all this people going threw the same thing or similar situation I thought I was the only one. Everything happen for a reason if I don’t had this job a had I wouldn’t had know what was going on .
This is the most validating video I have ever watched about self-improvement. I have brainstormed and thought about all the problems and the solutions you have mentioned. I am glad that I am on the right path.
“University of Google” ❤😂 I also love your point that most mistakes can be fixed. Give it a try and be willing to be bad at it, right? I remember that from one of your other videos. 😊
Yep! When I’m writing books, planning, or doing digital design work I can easily lose hours! It’s not something you can push-because pushing anything with ADHD somehow makes it not work. 🤣
I viewed the "overwhelm" as this singular, universal thing and was too focused on trying solutions; which turns out was half the problem. Always assumed it was just "too many things and no structure". This helped me actually get to the root. For me, it's 100% having this perfect ideal of how I want things to go or how they should be; snowballing the frustration and sabotaging. And of course nothing ever felt "right", so no solution could ever work. So eventually I'll freeze and do nothing. *Even rewrote this comment 20x lol.
I think my over-whelm is shut down. I usually just want to come home and sleep and stay away from people. Work seems to be a huge trigger -especially if it is a new environment. I recently left a 3 year job. There was a company switch and the new demands were very unrealistic in my opinion. I've never worked a job more than three years and I think it also a pattern. Eventually my overwhelm leads to pretty intense emotional disregulation.
9:28 Ambiguity is my KRYTONITE What do I do? Which way? Which way? I want to outsource my executive function. I spend so much time ruminating about WHY. Even HOW. Like watching this. It’s like addiction. When I had a job and there was an accountability framework, in order to manage myself within it, I sometimes made a cube out of business cards, wrote my various priorities/tasks/projects on post-it notes, put six of them on there, then rolled my dice across the floor of my office.
Sometimes I’d roll a “dice” just to have the universe narrow it down. Like, “2 choices. Next ten minutes. (Or 50 minutes, or whatever amount of time you want to risk/invest) Should I think about my infrastructure (self, food, money, resources, home) or should I focus on this abstract long term goal that requires my creativity and intelligence? 1 OR 2? Roll the die. What does the roll tell me? It’s not negotiable.
Yeah. I like using “chance operations” to help me make super small and prosaic decisions. The kind that no one else can help me with. No one. I hand it over to a dice roll.
Thank you for your videos, I really like them a lot! I just don’t have 16 minutes of attention 😂😂😂 I appreciate the chapters so that I can watch one at a time Subscribed!
