Hit the nail on the head for something I find difficult to explain to neurotypical people. The anxiety that can me triggered simply by thinking of a repetitive task (be it a large project or a simple chore) can be a huge hinderance in a world that rewards consistency. I’ve tried explaining the ADHD rut before and I think it’s hard for people to grasp how long of a period it can take up. Videos like this are super helpful helping ADHDers who experience the rut but haven’t put it to words yet, and for improving the level of understanding of ADHD with the rest of the world.
Yes, I often think, “Oh gosh, I have to do this everyday for the rest of my life.” It doesn’t matter if I enjoy the thing or not, the monotony of repetitive tasks fills me with dread.
I can totally relate to you. Whenever I set a goal, I resist it and trying to keep a routine doesnt last more than a day. Realised this is probably what they call pathological demand avoidance 🥴
This crazily explains my circumstances and the ruts I get in. I have such intense fear that it causes anxiety attacks and now my blood pressure is high which Ive never had issues with. Sometimes I’m afraid that I cannot handle rejection and that if something makes me cry that I might not be able to stop crying. I have sabotaged so many opportunities for myself because I become absolutely frozen with fear. I am living in awful circumstances now because of it. Will be trying the risk assessment
Hey! I'm glad you were able to relate to the video but sad to hear about your current circumstances... :( to get the Notion template for the Fear assessment matrix, go check out my latest video! The link is in the description :D I really hope this will help! Sending love
This morning I was praying to ADONAI asking to help me “unwire” my brain. I have been on the same never-ending cycle of missing the opportunity/mark to be consistent and knowing how much I want to do something and still not doing it. Your video resonated so much with me. It’s not about “unwiring” your brain but being more loving, accepting, and patient towards myself. Learning more about ADHD and becoming friends with my diagnosis. One day at a time. Thank you for being so open ⭐️💛🐛
Hey Candice, I wanted to thank you for this video! I am not a diagnosed ADHD but my intuition says, this is it who I am. These are exactly things I struggle with a lot. These crazy neurotypical organisation systems made me feel like failure pretty much all the time. 😅It only makes me overwhelmed and stressed. I didn't do anything a week again, and I feel totally exhausted from trying to do something. I know it doesn't make any sense but maybe it does for you. Start small, tolerate chaos, take time with things - this is useful. And I am always coming back to ruminate over my past year relationship trauma. Such a waste of time. Hahah. But really negative self-talk doesn't help at all, the opposite actually. Will continue searching for my system, even if's not systematic.
Thank you for your comment @vestaexplores 🥰 Sorry you're in the same boat but also really glad this video resonated with you. The negative self-talk is so intense in our brains that it can literally stop us from taking actions for months or even years! I've been working on that internal voice lately and it's helping me immensely. Hoping to share that in one my next videos!
It's very intense, I feel you. I was doing this for so many times before, like years of procrastination because of negative talk in my head. I knew nothing about ADHD back then. I work a lot on it too, every day 💞 @@youradhdgirl
Thank you for your courageous video! I also struggle with these same things. I'm a primary school teacher so when I'm in school I thrive on the routine and can manage myself much better even though I'm so busy. Now I'm on summer holiday and falling back into these old patterns because my daily routine is gone. It's challenging!
Finally also a teacher with adhd. I always have the feeling I am the only one and I am so stuck so often and see how the neurotypical teachers find everything so easy. 😢
I LOVE your risk assessment matrix! Definitely want to try that I have a slightly different table/matrix that helps me sometimes, especially in decision paralysis. 3 columns: Goal/s, Barrier/s, Solution/s I try to keep each individual Goal or Barrier or Solution to one sentence or less. Splitting into subgoals helps with this. I’ve found completing a row (one Goal) at a time works best for me. I usually have multiple Barriers per Goal. Often one of my Barriers is just “I don’t want to”. And that’s valid! When I’m done, the Solutions can become the Action Plan/To Do list. Hope this makes sense and/or helps someone. Your videos help me, mostly just because it is so reassuring/validating to hear from someone having the same/a similar experience to me. So, you just sharing your experience is enough to be a “good” video. 💚
My experience is very relatable to yours. Only thing that got me better with the consistency thing was writing my thoughts every single day, only way I could free space and actually have the will to do things, and with exercise, I started running, it sucked at the beggining, but then I started to get this amazing feeling while and after running, which is I became consistent with it. That said, I still get in my own way, but I know that when I fix this consistency issue I'll be unstopabble. Thanks for your kind video.
I relate to all of this. I am in the final 4 weeks of finishing my university degree. It’s been over 3 years and I just have the four weeks of major writing assignments. I hate writing because it requires so much energy. I’ve been in paralysis which is causing procrastination in other areas like cleaning. I needed this video to remind me my motivation to be done with school is equal to or outweighs the work required to finish. Thank you for uploading the video. Kudos to you for working your way out of a rut!
also your timestamps didn't format properly so I just fixed it for you, you can paste it back into the description and it'll embed 👍 0:00 - Intro 01:47 - The Last 6 Months 02:19 - Long-term ADHD paralysis 02:53 - The Production Cycle 03:36 - How ADHD Symptoms Affect The Cycle 04:44 - Why ADHDers Get Stuck In The Lows 06:27 -The Drawing 06:41 - What Causes ADHD Rut? 07:46 - The Overload Cycle / Rejection Sensitivity 08:24 - Perfectionism 09:06 - Emotional Regulation 09:26 - Brain Fog 10:48 - How To Get Out of The Overload Cycle 11:28 - 1) Become Aware 13:04 - 2) Risk Assessment Matrix 14:44 - 3) Start Small 16:36 - 4) Tolerate Chaos 18:29 - 5) Allow Things To Take Time
Wow I feel like you are in my brain! Every single thing resonated with me. Everything you shared is spot on. Thank you for making these videos. So happy as I didn’t know where to start. I set an appt to have testing but it’s so nice to find that I there’s actually think like me. I love organization. Also but it doesn’t come out the way my perfectionism needs. Thank you / you made a difference for me if that motivated you for the next video.
I think you went through this slump, so that you could make this video ! And really enable us ADHDers to reflect back on our even longer slumps😵💫, and give ourselves the grace to understand our past behaviour and forgive ourselves 💫
Great content, Candace! Thank you for the tips. One thing I will share as someone who is older is that being around the right people is really a big deal. Not sure if this is an ADHD thing, but I am very energized by being around other people who are like-minded. If I isolate myself too much, it's easy to stay stuck and feel sorry for myself. Even something like finding a likeminded accountability buddy to check in with regularly can be helpful. BTW, it seems like you're gaining significant traction here on YT and I hope you get to a point where you produce more videos. You are obviously making an impact and the world needs more of your message! That said, as you mentioned in your video, it's good to let go and allow things to take time. :) Putting too much pressure on ourselves and having too much expectation is detrimental to our action taking. Good luck!
Hey i have extreme ADHD and the hyperactivity went to my brain with becoming older and the thing you say here is so true its to cry about but indeed one day at a time. Plus i listen very much to those subliminal message videos to get more things done etcetera ❤
It doesnt make sense to other people.... but it makes sense when you have these struggles. Even if you think of the thing every single day..... but its in your head and its getting it out when you are in the rut....
I'm in very difficult fight with ADHD, I'm stucked and paralysed, cause I had the diagnostic after become a adult. I have a son that's also have the transtorn, and I live in a contry that's not takes to serious the condition, all this stuff has taked all my energy, and put me in a place that got me panic atacks and shit. You've been helping me a lot to see that I'm not alone, thanks for what you're doing, much love ❤
This makes a lot of sense! I've been like this my entire life, sometimes worse than others. Deadlines sometimes help, but sometimes the deadline will make me panic. I'm 62 now. I'd like to be able to control things better. I'm going to try doing what you have advised and see how it goes. Thanks! P.S. I have two offspring who are also ADHD. Passing it along!
Thank you for making this video. I've been in an ADHD rut for a few months now, feeling so incredibly frustrated with myself and very anxious and fearful just like you described. I couldn't have found this video at a better time. I'm going to take the advice to heart. Your content is very well organized and presented professionally, it's clear how much heart you put into it. Thank you for spending the time you have. ❤
Thank you so much for your comment! 🥹❤️ It makes me so happy that the content resonates with you. I'm lucky to have such a beautiful community 🥰 Hoping the next ones help you just as much (currently trying to fight this urge to just think about making videos while not making them 👀)
Was starting to wonder about you. Glad you're okay. I've been in a funk/rut lately. Luckily my team can apply a bit of pressure on me to stay consistent for my clients. Without them and I'd be in a really bad spot. (I love notion, I run my whole business and most of my life with it)
Honestly, you're like a guru to me! I wrote down 5 pages in my notebook from this video and this is the best thing I've seen on this topic I'm an artist and I've been trying to enter the game development industry for 3 years now, while other people manage to do it quickly. There are so many fears and insecurities along the way. I'm from Ukraine and seems like the issue of ADHD (for adults) is not very well-researched here. People go to psychologists for other issues more often (especially during the war...). I'm constantly looking for ways to help myself and that's how I came across your channel. I realized that I was much happier when I was just drawing simple black-and-white illustrations as a hobby than when I started studying a lot of information to make large-scale and colored artworks, trying to achieve the quality that the industry requires. At the same time, it's exactly what I want to do and I don't want to give it up. Just as you spoke about your passion for video. It's unbelievable that you're worried about the quality of your content because it's great! And you had a fear of accents in your listing - I even think it's cool and individual! I was wondering if you studied and work in some kind of technology field since you sometimes use mathematical terms? And are people from intellectual fields more likely to have ADHD?
Thanks for your comment and all the sweet compliments Talya! 🥰 (I guessed that was your name from the username, hope that's it!) I'm so glad you got something out of this video. I do work in health tech so that might be why I'm using this kind of vocab 😄 Honestly, I don't know if people from intellectual fields are more likely to have ADHD; if there was any correlation between ADHD and professional occupation, I would say the link would more likely be artists/ ADHD because those jobs (actor, painter, writer etc.) tend to offer a very exciting, creative and dynamic environment which are all things we need to do good work with an ADHD brain !
@@youradhdgirl Thanks a lot for the answer! Yes, Talya is my name 😊 Wow, well, if the creative path suits me on a biological level, then I definitely shouldn't turn away from it 😁
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and the techniques you have found that worked for you. I can identify with so many of the issues you talked about and really appreciate the tips you mentioned. Writing things down does help (if you can get yourself to do it!) as well as accepting that it might take you more time than expected. Knowing your brain functions differently also alleviates that internal pressure. I liked how you pointed out that it is more beneficial to go with that natural flow of how your brain works instead of against it. Managing how an ADHD brain functions is a discovery process and there are times when it is very difficult. I am new to learning about ADHD as an adult and a lot of the problems with concentration and forgetfulness as well as not being able to make myself do things have really resonated with me. Just knowing the neurological explanations about ADHD is a great relief. Seeing other people who are dealing with the same issues and overcoming them is very encouraging. That feeling of being stuck is extremely challenging to deal with and I am so glad that you were able to learn from it and use that struggle to help others. I think that an extremely creative mind is naturally unruly and that is why a person with ADHD has difficulty directing it. The ADHD mind is like a wild horse that doesn't want to be tamed. It wants to run free! It's just hard to keep up when you have so many things going on in your mind at once. Rather than a deficit, I believe ADHD brains have a gift of abundance.
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 🎥 *Introduction to ADHD Rut Discussion* - Discussion about the creator's personal experience with ADHD and how it impacted her ability to produce content. - Explanation of what an "ADHD rut" is and how it can affect productivity. - Highlighting the internal struggle of wanting to create content but facing challenges due to ADHD. 01:08 🧠 *Understanding the Five-Month ADHD Rut* - Delving into the specifics of the five-month period where the creator felt stuck. - Explaining the mental process of constantly thinking about creating but not taking action. - Differentiating between the experiences of individuals with ADHD and neurotypical individuals in terms of consistency and production. 02:47 📊 *Comparing ADHD and Neurotypical Experiences* - Discussing the difference in productivity patterns between ADHD individuals and neurotypicals. - Highlighting the intensity and variation in the ADHD experience, leading to inconsistent production. - Emphasizing the importance of understanding and accepting one's unique productivity rhythm. 06:27 🔄 *Imbalance in Overload and Motivation* - Exploring the concept of an imbalance between overload and motivation in individuals with ADHD. - Identifying factors contributing to overload, such as fear of rejection, perfectionism, and emotional regulation. - Discussing how this imbalance affects an individual's ability to move forward and achieve goals. 10:57 🗝️ *Strategies to Break the ADHD Freeze* - Providing five actionable tips to break the cycle of ADHD paralysis and enhance productivity. - Emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, debunking negative thoughts, and writing to process emotions. - Advocating for starting small, embracing creativity, and developing personalized systems tailored to individual ADHD traits. Made with HARPA AI
You did a great job and everything you said in this video totally resonates with me. I do these things all the time: start something with passion and go in hard on it with everything else going by the way side then I lose interest in that, spend weeks and months thinking about doing it again (if I have not found another new major focus) but obviously I don't. Later I rediscover the interest (usually months later). I did it with running. 18 months ago I was running nearly every day for 6 months, I KNEW that eventually it was too good to be true and I would stop and that is exactly what happened - I have not run consistently for 12 months now. I have many different interests and they come and go in cycles. At the moment I'm in my zone on electronics - it will probably last a few weeks to a few months before I move onto something else but I know my main interests, electronics, computing, playing pool and health and fitness but I won't be consistent with doing any of them (except playing pool because I'm in a team).
I'm in a rut right now... And in a crossroad too 😢 just thinking of changing my career path scares me but I don't have choice... My current job doesn't make me happy anymore and is no longer profitable either, so I have to look for other thing to work on and make a living... I'm stuck, paralized, don't know what to do, and it's overwhelming
ADHD Girl once again, excellent execution! You are doing wonderful and helping people understand themselves better and not have to feel so bad.....just a work in progress, keep it up!
Ahhh…. That is so similar all with me! I just realized I am an ADHD 2 days ago. I am 46 Until now I felt very guilty for not working and being able to start the work :-( now I know
Something interesting I noticed is that there's almost a horseshoe shaped relation between perfectionism and carelessness. It's too easy to jump from one end of the horseshoe to the other, you see how perfectionism has destroyed creativity and then decide not to engage in perfectionism, labelling any kind of rigorous standards "perfectionism" and then deciding, like with music for example "okay, as long as it doesn't go completely off the rails, first take's fine". And eventually people begin noticing mistakes and you decide "I should put my best foot forward" and begin labelling any kind of imperfection as "carelessness". It's almost a much longer and tougher trek to the middle ground, especially since the horseshoe is pointing downwards, and you so easily end up falling onto either end. Does what I said make any sense?
I really needed this video! I have agreed to run a 15 km race with my friend in august. I was really excited and felt so committed to it. I ran the first two weeks regularly. Then I went to Greece on vacation. I didn't run anything there. After that I went to our grandmas home in the countryside. SO I ran there for short distances maybe 3 times. After that I have just come home I felt sick and tired. So I didn't run for a week again. But now the days have just gone by and I haven't been running at all. I have never in the past ran consistently or done a race. So it's not like I have a good base to fall back onto. And know I feel the pressure to actually perform. Im scared I`m not gonna be able to make it or I`m gonna be severely undertrained. My friend said I just need to do my best. But im terrified and stuck in a freeze paralysis. I literally think that I'm gonna run everyday. I'm like today I will just go out and run for 5 min. And then I just don't end up eating breakfast cuz if I do then I will have to start my day and actually run, so I just procrastinate the whole day, until it's to late to run anyway. I'm so upset with myself for letting it get this far.
today my sister said something she noticed something about my life. that I always take 20 steps back, see the world go past - and suddenly make 100 steps forward. and the cycle goes on and on. i think it can apply here. your friend is maintaining their side because they can make that run everyday, it's probably not even a concious decision. we're not neurotypical, but we can still maintain our pace, we just have different ways of adjusting the intervals. so next time you practice, if it happens on a whim... make it count. you'll catch up, dont beat yourself up about it. we often do more for others than we do for ourselves. and while they can adjust, we always adapt. Good luck
Hey emeraldwhite ! I can totally relate... I've tried to make running stick as a habit many times in my life before, like many other workout habits. One thing to ask yourself before anything else is this: why did you agree to this race? Do you actually want to run it ? Do you actually enjoy the process of training for the race? If you answer no to any of those questions, then the problem is not you or your ADHD brain! It's just that it's not an appealing goal to you which will make it x100 harder to take the necessary steps towards achieving it. If you actually love running and want to run this race so badly, then I hope the advice in my video will help you! Start small and as @Jupa said, make it count when you do!
@@youradhdgirl yes i wanted to. I wanted to run and i really enjoyed the times when i did. It made me feel really free. And i also love to excercise in general. Im also a very competitive person, so when she said race i was thrilled to push myself and being better. So i thought it was a really good oppurtunity to progress and have a goal for myself. But now i feel drained and resistance everytime i know i should go running, and it doesnt help that im scared of failing. Im gonna stop and be in the moment cuz ik it doesnt help to just best myself up for it anyways. Thank you for your advice🌈
When I try to think about what I have to do my mind kaleidoscopes out and over analyzes everything to the extent that I don’t know what the first step is. Or I get stuck because I can’t see the progression from an over head perspective, in an organized way. I cannot understand my thoughts in notes 😅 there’s security and safety in organization that I’m not allowed to have, apparently. I agree about coming up with your own solutions. For a long time I was ashamed and secretive about my method of making a list because it’s really strange. The format of the list itself sort of gamifies and motivates me more than a regular list. I also didn’t know I had adhd but now I realize all the weird life hacks I’ve thought for myself were because I have adhd! So now I can forgive myself, congratulate myself, and move forward. And maybe I can do somethings I’ve been wanting to do, even if takes me a really long time😅
My focus is so bad, i sometimes in the past would take extra medicine which is bad. Because i would feel so slothful and tired, and i have a condition where one eye is progressively getting blurry and the disease is called keraconis which the offset in eye sight makes my focus disorder even worse when your eyes are messed up you cannot focus on what your looking at. It can definently be frustrating alot of times.
How weird that I looked up ADHD paralysis and watched the older one u made and looked on your channel for current video and it's this. And this is my life years of it and regrets r terrible I did this with things I told my kids I'd do that could have changed our lives mine and theirs and that times gone they're gone moved out n I'm so depressed now weight of regret is too much. I'm on meds have been all my life menopause has made them not work they didn't anyway. I literally will freeze till my feet go numb counting 123 go over n over n can't move hours I'm going crazy
I have like 20 journals I was writing in and decided it wasn't correct n I should write in one so I stopped writing and it's been I think what's really hindered me so I shall write my crazy nonsense in my zillion books under my bed ....haha
Is that really not normal? I was diagnosed with ADHD recently and always thought that's just how was. That every little thing feels like a boulder in my day that I have to move even if it's like a 5 minute video I needed to watch in class - it's like I can't do anything until I've done it but I can't get myself to do it to save my life and I'm stuck in this cycle of guilt and procrastination because just thinking about it is painful and makes me wanna sleep.
This is me with art. The older I get the worse it has gotten. I can lose hours every day doing nothing at all. I just look at the clock and freak out, then I feel guilty and ashamed because I should have gotten something done. My mind has become foggy, and slow like I’m thinking through jello. I wonder how menopause affects ADHD….
Hey! thanks your comment :) I definitely think (and pretty sure there's some research out there) that the feminine cycle affects ADHD, since hormones affect the brain and our overall body chemistry. It would be an interesting topic to look into, even though I wouldn't have the actual experience to talk about it...
I couldn’t written this! I hear ya… lots of studies being done on this. Many women are getting diagnosed later. Perimenopause can be from 30’s into 40’s. Even many doctors think going into menopause late forties is early and it isn’t. It’s a struggle! I was diagnosed at 46. Perimenopause affected my brain soooo much. Diagnosed with adhd at 46!
Hey ! well that's a hot topic for me because I was diagnosed towards the end of my studies so I've never been able to apply those strategies to my studies. I could try to look back on them though and retrospectively tell you how I would do it now! I'm writing it down as an idea for the next video ;)
just do the best work of your life for yourself instead of trying to fit yourself within the guidelines made by neurotypical people. as long as you believe in yourself, people will follow.
5:25 'I will lose my consistency... which btw I never had" 😂😂 oh man high five whats important is that whilst an upload schedule might be very adhd, you never fail to produce great content. the regular uploaders can't say the same. and that's what matters most. dont feel pressured to show up for your audience, your uploads will always be there, and the community you slowly build will always be here too. its worth noting a lot of huge channels are people with ADHD, and their upload schedules are haywire too. But they do great, because their content is great. my channel, is complicated. I dont even like video games, I started playing during lockdown and uploading the funny stuff on RU-vid to watch it, then I suddenly grew an audience. Then RU-vid said they'll pay me and I thought 'okay that's a deal.' So now I relate with that same pressure. needing to play video games, even though it's not a hobby, but I have a gaming channel. I can't complain, but it's just weird and I feel like a fraud masking this whole niche. So I really seek that 'perfect idea' for the 'perfect video' and need that 'perfect enviroment' to boot up a game and start making the footage, and when it comes I have to do it there and then. I know it sounds weird because games are meant to be fun, but not for me I guess. Fun is creation. So instead of video games, I made a 2nd channel for creating literally anything. I dont need views there, but it gets the ball rolling, my brain is flowing and my "creativity" can be invested back onto my main channel. really enjoyed this video Candice, it's nice hearing the thoughts of another content creator, it's very therapeutic to be able to express yourself as well as feel youre understood. This is what you provide as a channel, because youre good at it. Don't feel pressured about anything other than quality, and the regularity will come in its own way. As you said in your last tip, give yourself the time. take care
Amazing hearing from you again Jupa ! Thanks for your kind words, they do help in feeling less alone in the process :) Hope your second channel will be the one where you let go of all those expectations and do what you truly want to do with it! Btw I'd forgotten that there are a lot of channels with very irregular content creation that do very well so thanks for reminding me! I agree that the most important will always be the quality of the content and not the consistency 👍 thanks for being here from the beginning of the channel, hope to see you around in the next one! (that I'm starting to write now of course... 👀)
I know the struggle... But I think there's always a way. It's just that you're probably so not used to writing down your thoughts that your brain and body has a hard time executing the task. Also it's not supposed to be comfortable. I hate sitting down and starting to write; it feels so unnatural. But once the writing starts flowing on the page, I forget about the discomfort and I just pour out everything I have in my head on the page and I start feeling a little bit better :) Hope that helps :D
