Ahsoka - The Bad Side of the Force 

Ahsoka keeps breaking my testicles 😅

I spent years hoping Dis-me would never NEVER sink their claws into Ahsoka.... and I was right all along. IMHO, the real issue is the fact that you have to be a Director or a Producer to write ANYTHING that gets any attention at wHorrywood anymore. That is the key to all of this drek, and it isn't just the current Writer's Strike, it was the last one 20+ years ago. Anyone with original ideas and artistic merit would never go anywhere near Holy(shit)wood unless they like living as emasculated slaves, groveling for scraps. Period.

I’ll blame George Lucas more for letting that jack ass little cowboy and that stupid old bitch who doesn’t know how to do anything other than wear expensive clothes and organize catering..if Dave filoni can be allowed to make Star Wars anything then so can anyone else…I have no experience after high school and I have more better original ideas than Dave filoni will ever have because after 15 years he could not stop ripping off of other’s ideas and work

With all due respect to Mr. Kurtz, he is, in fact, wrong. The version of ROTJ where Han dies and Luke and Leia (sans being related) are free to develop their budding romance but unable to because of the circumstances their lives now posses is objectively, significantly, and borderline ridiculously better than what we got. This is especially true with the benefit of hindsight and the knowledge of what Disney would do the character of Han Solo in the Sequels but even without, the fact remains that Luke and Leia being siblings was the first genuinely idiotic thing in Star Wars. As soon as Luke says, "Leia! Leia's my sister!" the franchise nose dives and would never again reach the heights of the previous two films. Worse than that, the previous two great films are now lessened because of this ridiculous decision. The scenes between Luke and Leia that either subtlety or overtly suggested sexual and/or romantic tension are now awkward and unpleasant. It's almost as though it was thought up by someone who actually believes that the Vietcong were fighting for freedom, democracy, and the preservation of human rights (seriously as a lifelong Star Wars fan hearing George say shit like that was like hearing that you were conceived in a gangbang). Now, to admit my own bias, I am very partial to positive ambiguous endings, especially in regard to the action/adventure genre. Our heroes win the day but not without significant loss and sacrifice. Nevertheless, they have grown as people and are ready for the new adventures an uncertain future brings. This works particularly well for Luke and Leia as both are young and capable of not just further adventures but romances as well, even if their hearts ultimately belong to each other and also given that being domesticated doesn't fit either character's desire or personality. Imagine if you will an alternate ROTJ where Luke and Leia aren't siblings, Han is dead, the Rebellion has defeated the Empire, but after the initial celebration Luke and Leia must now part ways. As Leia boards her ship with C3PO, her and Luke share a wistful smile at each other with the knowledge that they'll see each other again someday. Luke with R2, standing next to his X-wing, watches as Leia's ship takes off before turning to gaze out upon one of Endor's alpine lakes surrounded by a lush green forest and watch as the sun rises and the Force theme plays. Cut to credits. Now even George would have to begrudgingly admit that, "it's like poetry, it rhymes." As that just as the sunset in A New Hope represented the sun setting on Luke's old life as he was now called to adventure and must become the hero he has long desired to be, so now the sun rises as this fully realized version of himself has come to be and a new journey awaits. No, but yeah, Ewoks and contrivences and bullshit and daytime soap levels of acting and dialog are just as good. Just as good. I apologize for the long comment, but I've had this sentiment pent up inside of me for a long time, and I imagine you of all people would agree that when something builds up to the point of unnerving frustration it must be released regardless of how messy the outcome may be. Thank you for the video, and I greatly look forward to the next as well as all future videos.

6:31 Explain yourself!

@@haydentravis3348they all betrayed George Lucas but nobody seems to care.

George doesn't care the most. At least did so when he still had anything to say.

@@antonisauren8998 yeah he went sour after 1980 all about selling merchandise $$$

​@@treystephens6166as if George could weite anything better at this point. I mean as SWTheory like to point out Georges newest sequel Script is a living Darth Maul. Again. That fucking character died. In phantom menace.

​@@TurKlackin heartbeat, I'd take the chance on going back in time and doing the sequel trilogy over again with Lucas, even if it sucks. And Star Wars Theory is a manbaby idiot.

I mean who didn't want to train (or run the train on) with the best meat saber handler in the galaxy

In the grim darkness of the far future there is only lolicon.

​@@Rayrardplease stop. I watched this video once and suddenly all Luke's reforms started to make so much sense - sir I thought jedi are not supposed to marry? - no, no nothing wrong with being married...actually they SHOULD be married.

Some of the best comedy bit on RU-vid

I about pissed myself laughing. Excellent work old boy.

True.

Dave "Assshot" Filoni

So there is still good in him.

Only matched by the Arms crossed look.

But are they worth it when they're just so mid and in unflattering pants?

Second only to "Daimyo Boba"

Certainly some of his best work.

It was all improv. George liked it so much he kept it in.

That is a hillariously well done copypasta. Even referencing Lucas's no underwear in space line.

@@ggt47 So did Obi-Wan

​​@@bumfluffaddlepate1680assoka disagreed... That's why yoda fled to the degoba shite swamps in shame and never wanted to see another so called Jedi It all makes so much sense now Edit: the amount of alliteration in that sentence is mind boggling lol

I can’t take all the credit - the text is a famous copypasta thing and someone, somewhere, used AI to do the voice (I think) - I’ve searched all over for the original but there’s quite a few around. I just put footage to it.

:D thanks for the info. your rendition is hilarious! @@TheLittlePlatoon

Is star wars radioactive now?

@@haydentravis3348 It’s a radioactive, rotting corpse

Bro its so fucking sad to me that hayden finally gets to be part of star wars without being shit on and this is what they give him. Maybe in 20 years the third time will be the charm.

@@crimsonking440 By that time, Hayden will be in his late 50s or 60s or 70s at best.

@@chasehedges6775With a side dish of Disney’s mouse repeatedly raping said corpse in an attempt to get a pregnancy to stick. Same apples to Avengers except they aborted the only child they had while alive.

That might have been pretty powerful, actually.

That hits on so many levels. How low the enemy would go to push the heroes to the brink in one instance. Maybe only the witches knew. Maybe that is the fate that will befall Big Rey and Illie Beilish. Maybe that is why Ahsoka and Sabine at still alive, to be corpse pupppets. But nah, green gas dude.

It is nothing short of amazing that random RU-vid commenters can come up with better stories in about five seconds than the highest paid Hollywood writers.

He’s fanfiction levels of writing with a boner for saving his pet characters. It’s ruins the entire story and the entire world the story is set in.

I was kinda shocked. I know we all sit here joking about how dumb they must be, but then you learn that it's not a joke at all.

The sheer insanity of the director not knowing what a character even is!!! WHY ARE WE HERE? JUST TO SUFFER?

It’s very much like Rian Johnson and how he designed the bombers. He just wanted a WW2 looking ship despite it not making sense in a space battle and when the OT did that aesthetic already for the galactic civil war. It would have made more sense to use Cold War era inspired ships if anything. But, copying ideas from the OT instead of building from them is also a common trend with Disney Star Wars.

​@@TheLittlePlatoonWith such biting wit and keen intellect,not to mention your soothing and charismatic voice,Mate you truly are one of my favorite "Jesters" on this video media player we all imbibe of called RU-vid keep up da good work me boy.

Bro, it was the cheapest and laziest of imitations. Sanjuro deserved better than this mentally deficient crap. This is everything wrong with Hollywood. They make lazy copies and think themselves so clever, only to be later revealed that they are total idiots and just stumbled into their jobs. What the fuck.

No, you survived. No one ever truly dies... Or some malarkey.

It's actually disgusting. We see multiple times in great stories the weight commanders bear. But neither the Empire or the Republic give a shit apparantly. It's a trope the bad guys don't but not even the "good" guys.

Yeah, and it goes against her characterization in rebels when a similar thing happens and she is deeply affected by the loss of her squadron members.

Almost as if world building is 100% dead in these properties. There's not flavor to any of it, it's just "Star Wars: The Protein Paste"

Because it's written by psychopaths who've never felt healthy emotions in their lives.

Stronk wAHMENZ don’t have weaknesses like emotions.

*it surrounds them, it scissors them

@@colmoe I stand corrected.

I love how the timing and framing of it in the full context of the scene makes it look like Ahsoka didn't tell them because she was still being a petty bitch about Mace throwing her 'citizen' remark back in her face.

@@nobody2996 EVEN BETTER What a hero she is

Same 😊 Watching Platoon at work taught me so much as a French writer! Also made me confident about my writing

Hell yeah! They're great lessons on what not to do when story crafting. I just released my first book and I've gotta say, these reaction channels really have helped remind me what I'm up against. People are being paid millions for this absolute dreck, I shouldn't have any embarrassment about what I've put out into the world. Yet at the same time, there are those like Platoon and his 165k subscribers that clearly want quality and at least semi-intelligent writing. Good luck to you!!

Channels like The Little Platoon, Mahler, Literature Devil, and The Closer are such great help when it comes to creating stories. I have no designs for novels, but I do a lot of DMing and it helps to keep storytelling there cohesive. Even there, with other voices moving the story along, the events still have to make sense.

As a writer, if the only thing you ever do is you do NOT write complete dogshit by simply putting five minutes of thought into your scripts, you are automatically more talented than 99% of modern Hollywood/Netflix writers. That's how low the bar has fallen.

💯💯

This whole show was assassinating Rebels characters and throwing their 4 seasons of development in the trash.

@@cympimpin20Ironically done by the guy that made Rebels in the first place

@@RicardoGantusa💯

@@RicardoGantusa He didn't write the first season.

@@user-xx6vy9ri8p true, but there were 4 seasons and he is executive producer and co-creator so you can't devalue his involvement just because he doesn't have a writing credit for every episode

I would have prefered the copy.

In fairness, it's an old monologue that's been around for a few years. But "she was a good friend" kills every time.

Absolutely. Amazing dialog work. Eat your heart out Failoni.

Fr. So glad

I woke up at 1:00 AM - thirty minutes ago - and forgot for a second that _she's gone, because of my stupid mistakes, and the whore I ruined it all over is gone too, and I just spend my days alone with only the ticking of the clock, and the cat, and endless little baggies of drugs for company-_ -and I wondered for a second if I could make her promise to take care of my kitty and say sorry to me ma and then just, y'know, get a little extra lead in my diet and then I opened RU-vid and I saw *another Little Platoon Assoka episode was up **_ALREADY_* ...and I realized life was beautiful and good after all. 🌈

@@Kveldred this comment was a journey. Wish you well 😂

​@@Kveldred😂

I’m glad you liked it!

I also enjoy making fun of France

@@davidmingle5910 Frenchies when they see a snail or horse: 🍴😋

Each time at first it hurts, then I remember how warranted it it. There's a lot wrong with this country. Cheers from southern France! 🍻

Hey, we aren't all like that! I've yet to taste horse.

I think the original copypasta author on 4-Chan probably deserves most of the credit, but his name is lost to time…

I’ve heard it and read it before, but it’s always funny. It’s so absurd and out of place.

@@TheLittlePlatoon All the same good sir, I tip my hat to you. The editing and line delivery was just perfect. chef's kiss!

Which is more time then the creators spent writing them

Time better spent in my opinion

And I hung onto every minute. This is by far more entertaining and hilarious than anything Disney has put out in years.

He had finally embraced the way of the Longman.

Criticism that is longer than the thing it's talking about is automatically bad - Bilbo Baggins

Soooo true.

Ah, good old Marrok. That's covered in this video, funnily enough!

@TheLittlePlatoon Indeed, I've kept track of the.....well calling it plot is rather generous but I've been keeping track of it on EFAP XD

Marrom is everything wrong with JJ Abram’s mystery box style of writing and the ilk he spawned. It could be anything, it could be nothing, but we’ll never know because it’s a mystery.

@@chazzitz-wh4ly THIS

Why thank you very much! I need all the booze I can get with this series.

That would be very funny!

Being a french man, I could even play the role of a pedantic Parisian waiter. "Non mon cher monsieur, ça ne se dit pas _kato_ , mais plutôt _shato_ "

I think it was worth watching the show, so when I watch Charlie Hopkinson do his deep fake reactions and TLP do his deep dives, gives the show the ability to be watched from start to end!

Surely he intends to finish them =0

@@capitalofcambrom seems that he doesn't :(

That would be a very disturbing dream.

I actually Lol'd, very rare nowadays, kudos.

💯💯💯 Him and KK

His scripts were never finished though when they weren’t used There was the whole redrafting process to still do, and considering that they’re honestly really good for first drafts

@@looinrims I haven't read them, so I'll take your word on that. My point is, while the end result has mistakes for sure, you can see the thought and purpose behind it, you can see the effort to convey something, you can see that, while flawed, it's not *empty.* In fact a lot of things worked really well, either for characterisation, worldbuilding or just lore creation. Unlike most of what we've been given recently.

I laughed so hard my sides are hurting.

It leads to things that are… unattainable and unnatural.

I'm trying not to give RU-vid too many reasons to strike me for community violations...

The backside of the force?

easily the worst joke I've ever heard

There's always been some head cannony answers to this that are sort of hinted at in outside media. The headcannon is that if you try to use force powers on other Force Users they can just counter with the force. This is made reality in older video games like Jedi Academy. In the 2003 Clone Wars microseries, General Grevious actually used Psychological warfare and unconventional attacks in order to throw off Jedi opponent's concentration and hinder their ability to use the force. Of course, the disney era has pretty much thrown all of that out the window.

​@@williamcronshaw5262I always thought using the Force aggressively in a battle between two Force Users has to be more exhausting than using the Force to lift stones or float around, and that because Force Users are generally more attuned to the Force and have higher senses so they any user could easily counter most Force attacks and thus it would be a waste of time and energy. You would have to make very well timed and precise Force maneuvers to attack. Just my little head canon that I've always had.

@@AcidifiedMammoth Yeah, that is one I follow, since in the heat of combat, using an energy source like that takes a lot of physical energy out of you like a stamina bar. Though I’m leaning more towards SWTOR’s energy system but you get where I’m coming from. Using too much force wears you out and renders you near helpless in combat, you can still defend yourself in blades, but against other force attacks… your screwed.

That was pure brilliance. "She had the tightest ass and perkiest tits in the galaxy" 😂😂😂

Gotta admit, that took me down too. Paused to come here and find your comment, knew it would be here lol

Indeed, we serbians have become so efficient at consuming alcohol we don't even need a liver anymore. Clearly Filoni is a misunderstood genius on that one.

That’s the problem with Filoni when it all comes down to it: he’s not going to save George’s vision and characters, only his own

I just get frustrated by all the wasted potential. It is as if the shows and those who write them are terrified at the idea of leaning into lore without doing any exposition dumping to help the casuals get through the show. The plots are so dull. They're worse than the formulaic Legends books that exist. At least those attempt to give the characters some stakes and peril before they ultimately succeed. Yes, it can be predictable (like NCIS in space), but it leads to better stories and better character development. You wind up appreciating the accomplishments that the OT characters were able to achieve between the OT and the later bits of media they were involved in, it helps sell them as heroes. These shows are just events barely stitched together happening with no real consequences either way. It's so dry.

You bastard that's perfect 😂

"Again"? Why would you subject yourself twice?

​@@kwisatzhaderach9591Subject themselves to a video from this wonderfully eloquent breakdown and critique series? I mean these are good videos. I don't see what's so strange. I've watched Mauler break down TFA 3 times so far (at least what's out right now).

There are only three Star Wars movies, lol

Revenge Of The Sith and Return Of The Jedi are both great

@@johns.1854 Wrong, there are 6. And only 6

​@@johns.1854if in your world 3 now means 6 then yes you are correct 😂. Nice try baby.

@@sharong8794 maybe 4.5 at a stretch :P

That's definitely the plan! Season 2 releases next year so I'm going to try and finish off the Season 1 reviews before it comes out.

@@TheLittlePlatoon epic, I think I might need to rewatch the videos you have so far in preparation.

​@TheLittlePlatoon please ignore season II

I have to add that having Vader use the threat of turning Leia to the Dark Side is what draws Luke back into his fight with Vader in RoTJ. Without it the only threat would have been to killing Luke, who already accepted his death on the ...Deathstar, or just killing his friends in general to goad him into attacking, which Creamy Sheev already did. While having Luke and Leia being siblings is messy at times, it adds more than it messes up.

I think it's a stretch to call that a set up.

The OT very much isnt his creation. The prequels prove it. The prequels are what the OT would have been had Lucas been able to do what he wanted. Thats why the OT works Lucas famously had the least influence on Empire, and you can bet your ass he is buttmad it is generally the preferred film. He is so buttmad he refuses to just release the movie as it was, insisting on his botched versions as the *only* ones people should be allowed to acquire. That's fucked up. That aint rite.

Disney Star Wars is so twisted and nonsensically convoluted that even Tzeentch is offended.

Emperor protect us. Not you Palpy

Oh god, imagine the freak out of Warhammer fans if Warp demons showing up to wreck Star Wars out of mercy. I personally would love it as a form of Retconning everything Disney made. (Except rogue one, and the games Like fallen order and survivor.)

You’d think they might have given Dawson just a bit more training. I’m not expecting Prequels-level stuff but at least enough to give the impression she’s actually held a weapon before.

All the combat choreography is bad. Ahssoka’s actress moves with no purpose or reason while everyone else has to slow down and wait for her.

@@TheLittlePlatoon I agree, she is so awkward you can't imagine she could use a kitchen knife ti make a sandwich, let alone fight with 2 lighsabers 😉

@@TheLittlePlatoon or any training at all.... she's not exactly an old woman, she looks in decent shape, but fuck me she has no idea what she's doing beyond holding a certain pose at a certain time. Stevenson has clearly had previous weapons training, you can tell because he's actually decently precise in moving from one pose to another. But even he's still just assuming poses so they can then exchange the next bit of meaningless dialogue. As someone who's actually done HEMA, fuck me but whoever choreographed this has clearly never held a sword in their life. jesus.....

I honestly wonder if it the headpiece she has to wear. Is it too bulky and/cannot make big movements with it on? I mean, I absolutely expect its just hackers but I wonder.

And he also trained. Under one of the best duelists of the Order.

@@cellardweller5245 Yep! Exactly.

it may give metal gear solid a run for its money in terms of cutscene length

Same here.

I work only for 8 hours

The History of ESB is rather fascinating

Yet they kept in Leia and Luke's kiss?

Until you read the drafts from around 1974. It's there just not fleshed out.

@@sharong8794 good to know he started writing in 1973

That’s what I thought, too. It might be that’s what they decided on but it sounds like they decided it after shooting the scene.

@@TheLittlePlatoon it really feels like Disney has learned nothing from how they messed up the Sequel trilogy. Poor to no planning and involving people who don't care about the source material. Kenobi broke me.