Ain't the Way to Die | Eminem/Rihanna Remixed | Make Your End of Life Wishes Known

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"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, end of life and all my wishes go unheard."
Lyrics and more here: zdoggmd.com/ain...
Based on the Eminem & Rihanna song, "Love The Way You Lie."
Lyrics by ZDoggMD (Dr. Zubin Damania) and Dr. Harry Duh.
Audio engineering, mixing, production, and chorus vocals by Devin Moore.
Thanks to:
Storyworks Production Company
Director, Michael Shaun Conaway
Producer, Alex Melnyk
Editor, Sean Horvath
Colorist, Mark Anton Read
Your support keeps us independent and mild-to-moderately awesome: zdoggmd.com/su...
Show, podcast, music, support, shop, social media, and email: lnk.bio/zdoggmd
Special thanks to the residents and staff of the University of Nevada School of Medicine. Mad luv to palliative care, hospice, and end-of-life providers around the world.
Lyrics:
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
End of life and all my wishes go unheard
They just prolong me and don’t ask why
It’s not right because this ain’t the way to die, ain’t the way to die
Patient:
I can’t tell you what I really want
You can only guess what it feels like
And right now it’s a steel knife in my windpipe
I can’t breathe but ya still fight ‘cause ya can fight
Long as the wrong’s done right-protocol’s tight
High off of drugs, try to sedate
I’m like a pincushion, I hate it, the more I suffer
I suffocate
And right before I’m about to die, you resuscitate me
You think you’ve saved me, and I hate it, wait…
Let me go, I’m leaving you-no I ain’t
Tube is out, you put it right back, here we go again
It’s so insane, ’cause though you think it’s good, I’m so in pain
I’m more machine than man now, I’m Anakin
But no advanced directive, I feel so ashamed
And, crap, who’s that nurse? I don’t even know her name
You lay hands on me, to prolong my life again
I guess you must think that this is livin’…
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
End of life and all my wishes go unheard
They just prolong me and don’t ask why
It’s my right to choose the way that I should die
Doctor:
You ever love somebody so much, you can barely see when you with ‘em
That they, lay sick and dying but you just don’t wanna let ‘em
Be at peace cause you miss ‘em already and they ain’t gone
Beep beep, the ventilator alarms
I swore I’d never harm ‘em, never do nothing to hurt ‘em
Hippocratic oath primum non nocere now I’m forced just to torture ‘em
They push full code, no one knows what his wishes were
His sister heard him say once, “I don’t wanna be a vegetable”
But no one agrees in the family, his caregiver Kate
Wants him comfort care but Aunt Claire lives so far away
That her guilt eats her like cancer
So she answers, “Wait! I think he’ll wake”
Maam, you ain’t even in the state!
Palliate, relieve pain, get him home, explain
Critical care? Just hypocritical when it’s so insane
But they insist I shock his heart again so I persist
Guess that’s why they say that love is pain.
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
End of life and all my wishes go unheard
They just prolong me and don’t ask why
It’s my right to choose the way that I should die
The way that I should die

Опубликовано:

12 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 951

@staceybaker8122 9 лет назад

I am a paramedic in north Carolina, also coded my own mother...ended up in Neuro icu, with a subarachnoid bleed. Hardest moment of my life but now others live on because she wanted to donated her organs. Her heart is literally still beating, and someone is seeing clearly for the first time in a long time.

@ZDoggMD 9 лет назад

+Stacey Baker Wow. Thanks for sharing this story.

@chapo0815 7 лет назад

Stacey Baker .... thats AMAZING. God bless your mom. Losing your mother is very hard... i lost mine April 23rd 2017 ((hugs)) 🦋

@philbertchow5425 5 лет назад

😰😰😰

@laurasutherland2352 5 лет назад

"Her heart is literally still beating". Beautiful.

@juliesczesny90 2 года назад

Sorry for your pain, and loss. God bless you, for you honoring your mom's wishes. Lost my mum, few months ago, 101 yr old auntie last yr. And a well loved distant relative, today. It never gets easy. But the last three, got to go out the way of their choosing, surrounded by their loved ones - not bleeping machines!

@melindajohnson8064 5 лет назад

I left ICU nursing and went into hospice (non for profit). This video states why i changed over - much better than I could say, sing, scream, cry. With all my heart I would like to thank you for reaching out and hopefully schooling people on: A. The need to have legal end of life wishes...no matter what your age or health. B. How messy and unjust to leave these decisions for your loved ones or worse- NO ONE. C. For illustrating how the patient feels; his body in a cage, strangers constantly doing unto him, a knife down his throat and needles of all descriptions slicing into skin. Year after year of watching this happen. Mutely 'caring' for these people. And worse transferring them to long term care facilities so this existence could continue for on and on and on and......

@tanb9304 5 лет назад

I am an active lobbyist for Voluntary Assisted Dying. I have been for a long time. I nursed two parents through horrific cancer/end of life journeys. I've had a 20 year battle with breast cancer and was recently diagnosed as terminal. I still have my humour - am a BIG Eminem fan - and so this "remix" is absolutely bloody awesome and will be shared far and wide.

@megangerhart3540 24 дня назад

Planning on VSED for myself do you have any advice?

@croaker260 8 лет назад

I swear this is one of the most moving songs I have ever heard , parady or not. Truth from a 25 yer paramedic.

@croaker260 8 лет назад

+GAMINGBRO: will and David swipe and text from phone gets me every time.

@serenitypoynter5154 8 лет назад

amennnn

@ladywolfe67 7 лет назад

I cannot watch this video and not cry. It hits me very hard.

@ladywolfe67 7 лет назад

GAMINGBRO: REALLY?!?!

@christinashipley5059 7 лет назад

Yup... made me cry after 20 seconds!

@iamJZ 9 лет назад

I am a Paramedic who also happened to call my Mother's code. We teach many things in our profession however what we don't or are unwilling to teach is the compassion of giving others the peace in death that they could not have in life. Thank you.

@ZDoggMD 9 лет назад

+J Zepeda That's the hardest thing in the world to do. Thanks for sharing your story!

@tonyameirhofer6118 7 лет назад

This is what I teach in my DNR discussions class in my facility. As nurses we don't get much on DNR in school or anywhere else. We know what it is, but leave it up to the MDs to start that discussion. That's not the way it should be. Start the discussion at admission, then it's not a surprise if/when the patient codes later on. J Zepeda, so sorry about your mom, but I'm glad she had you there to put a stop to the torture she surely would have suffered had you not been a loving, dedicated son.

@karilehman9882 2 месяца назад

@@tonyameirhofer6118in my experience nurses tend to have more compassion too - more focus on quality of life, and they don't care about insurance payouts, so with appropriate training I think they're often the best ones to have that discussion with, and MDs can be consulted on specific medical aspects.

@onelifevictoria 9 лет назад

As an Iv nurse who also have worked in the icu, this song hits me hard. Yesterday I put a picc in an elderly icu patient, intubated and afraid . Arms tied to the side so she can't pull out her lines and tubes. Non medical people can't understand this- but we in the medical team feel like we are torturing them to keep them alive, even when their chances of survival are less than 5%.. Thank you so much for reminding us and educating non medical people that there are worse things than death ....

@amandapapageorgiou3617 4 года назад

I'm 31 and a covid-19 patient. This gave me the strength to write an advanced directive. Thank you.

@joshpendl814 9 лет назад

ER resident here - there is a huge public misconception about the success rate of CPR, especially in out-of-hospital arrest. It's hard to call it a "success" when we stabilize a patient in the ER only to watch them wither on an ICU ventilator for another week, or more, before passing. This was a very touching video.

@ZDoggMD 9 лет назад

Josh Pendl Exactly correct, thanks Josh.

@adobrowolsky13 5 лет назад

Couldn’t agree more. When I learned the resuscitation rate is only 33%, and that doesn’t guarantee no adverse effects from hypoxia, I was shocked. People need to be educated about the realities and limitations of health care.

@maribellalydiatonelli7750 2 года назад

Agreed, as a previous icu rrt, now a covid rrt, the term " successful " ACLS code is used very loosely. ...

@karilehman9882 2 месяца назад

I think TV can largely be blamed for the misconception. People have seen far too many actors get "resuscitated", then sit up and thank their savior as if nothing happened. At least now we're seeing more portrayals of different end of life (or possible end) scenarios, but it's stuck in a lot of people's minds and that's hard to overcome.

@DoctorDaveMH 9 лет назад

This is genius. I'm an ER doc, and I've done CPR on too many people who, had they just understood, would have opted for a DNR and died in a more dignified and humane way. I am all for life-saving measures, but reality is less glamorous and less optimistic than TV makes it out to be. People with advanced illness, or even simply advanced age, should really consider what they expect from their future and weigh that against the idea of being tortured on a gurney with the small chance of survival, only to be miserable in a hospital bed with an even smaller chance of returning to a normal or even fair quality of life. At this point in my life, of course, I would opt for all life-saving measures for myself (though I would rather be dead than be chronically in a vegetative state), but at some point in life, the scales should tip. Ignoring the issue and just accepting the default potentially leads to increased sadness and anguish for yourself and your loved ones down the road.

@haidenmorgan 6 лет назад

Thank you man. As a Cystic Fibrosis patient slowly creeping into major complications this is weighing on me heavy. DNR is something I have recently began to much more seriously consider. At this point I can tell a DNR is gonna be better than ventilator life. I have spent so much time in hospital already that death sounds more like good sleep than something to be afraid of or sad about. I feel for you guys watching yourselves almost torture patients to keep them alive. I can't imagine going home with that burden.

@mamalovesthebeach437 5 лет назад

Thank you for this ... we're dealing with this in our family and the 90-year-old family member is not clear about what measures doctors often take even though there is a DNR in place. What good is a DNR if hospitals and doctors are taking measures for fear of a lawsuit? Any suggestions in how to best handle wish for DNR to be followed through? Thanks so much for doing what you do ... Many, many moons ago ER doctors saved my 18-year-old self from death and from losing a leg and I am forever grateful ...

@jessicaduncan3988 3 года назад

people just really don't understand what goes into getting someone out of a code situation. It took the ACLS course for it to really sink in for me...good googly what we do to the body just to get it going again is brutal...

@flyorraofficial 2 года назад

Hi. I love this video because it says "the way that I should die" I have tried to get my advance directives and end of life wishes in Australia but the process is extremely difficult because the paperwork means I have to have two power of attorneys and I have nobody in terms of family who will pull the plug. (I have a long history of suffering from existential thoughts of like "why don't I kill myself". Wanting to die is unhealthy like a cancer that eats at your soul especially because people have asked me to kill myself countless times directly or indirectly) I'm a child of divorce who grew up with a sadistic psychopathic mother. And as victims we are the living dead. I'm 38 years old and people believe that I'm alive. What is the definition of life? Why call two things that are different and call them by the same name life. I'm the living dead. I have not lived at all in 38 years.

@AzFreebird1 Год назад

I think if more people were aware of the actual things that happen to your body when you don't have a DNR more people would have one. It took a lot of convincing my Mother-in-law to sign a DNR. She had COPD quite bad at the end. My hubby works at a hospital, and when he explained the process, she did a very hard 'pass' on over-the-top life-saving measures. She died peacefully at home with us there with her. No regrets & she died peacefully - which is all any of us can hope for.

@Volgrand 7 лет назад

Holy shit mate. I have been a nurse for 8 years, last 2 in Intensive Care. I had never seen such a.... meaningful definition definition of everything I have ever been ashamed of, as a health carer. So many times I took care of a patient thinking "we should let him go". But yet we don't. Yet the family won't. Yet some doctors will not stop trying. Thank you for this video, and for the song. To be able to put the pain in both sides of the bed, both patient and professionals, has been... touching. I swear I am crying right now. I believe I never had the courage to recognize how ashamed I feel for every patient I didn't let go. I know it was not just on my hands, but that doesn't make it any easier. Thank you, ZdoggMD.

@Volgrand 7 лет назад

Christopher Hughes say what?

@ladywolfe67 7 лет назад

M. Volgrand Don't be ashamed. The family has the final say even if there is a DNR order on file.

@Volgrand 7 лет назад

ladywolfe67 I know, but still I don't feel any better when I have to take part in these sort of acts.

@laurasutherland2352 5 лет назад

@@Volgrand, I hear you.

@NRSNG 9 лет назад

Wow . . . as an ICU nurse myself I can say . . . this was SPOT on perfectly done! Even down to the vent alarms. Beautiful

@spaceycasey871 7 лет назад

I can't focus in ER settings well, but the ICU... The focus is ...well i'm not gonna say easier... still working on that part. Autonomy both a blessing and a curse of the lone ICU Curse..

@theeclecticnurse2485 5 лет назад

The vent sounds get me every time.

@Scatterling313 5 лет назад

The Eclectic Nurse same!! I’ve been an ICU patient where patients have died - hello PTSD

@laratheplanespotter 3 года назад

I know this is 5 years ago but I just wanted to say, those sounds I heard all through my ICU stay 6 years ago. I had PTSD from it for 5 years. But hearing them here has just taught me a lesson. That I’ve just come to terms with it because the recurring nightmare I was having shouting for them to stop but also shouting for help but no one can hear me because I have an ET tube shoved down my throat. I can’t remember the last time I had that dream. I guess I’m whole again so thank you to all HCPs out there that saved me and helped me through the fall out. 💙

@DelTashlin 9 лет назад

As a terminally ill person, this song hits hard in the soft parts, but in a good way? I try to encourage people to think about what they want, and how their family will feel about that. I am blessed to know that those I have given the power to know exactly what I want.

@ZDoggMD 9 лет назад

Del Tashlin oh Del, mad luv for your comment...thank you.

@michaelwagner4485 8 лет назад

I work in a Catholic Hospital and one day after we coded this person for the third time in 2 hours my manager made a remark that stuck with me. she said "We want everyone to go to heaven, but we just won't let them die to get there."

@trafficjon400 5 лет назад

Steroids kill agony period

@estifanos9981 3 года назад

What if they were going to hell?

@alyssaortega3185 7 лет назад

I've been a Respiratory Therapist for almost five years and it kills me whenever this happens, it's one of the things I hate most about my job... what's worse though is when the patient has made their wishes clear but the scared/guilt ridden decision maker negates the wishes and insists we do everything :(

@missmoxie9188 4 года назад

Alyssa Ortega oh yes I’m an RRT too

@Erin-jm4jm 9 лет назад

I've been 10 years in the trenches of long term care. 'Watch me burn. ' is a great choice of words for the fever that comes at the end that nothing controls, when Mom hasn't eaten for three months because she forgot how to chew, so we put in the feeding tube, but she pulls it out, and we replace it, but she doesn't move any more, so pneumonia sets in, and she stops breathing, we run the code, now there's brain damage and crushed ribs, she's in agony and coming off the bed with every breath and still burning with fever, and family says, "Why aren't you helping her? Can't you see she's suffering? " This needs to be mandatory at admission.

@brianpeltier2924 9 лет назад

I was really expecting another funny video, but this was profound. I'm an RN with two years in Burn ICU and 10 years in county Trauma 1, here in Houston. Didn't take me very long to realize death isn't the worst outcome. There's many a family I've talked and prayed with in that last hour. And the residents too. They get so lost that first time they realize they can't fix it, whatever "it" is. Mad props zdogg, this one hurt a little, but excellent work.

@ZDoggMD 9 лет назад

Brian Peltier WORD.

@laurasutherland2352 5 лет назад

"death isn't the worst outcome". Excellent.

@scarlettbegonia5998 7 лет назад

I'm a hospice nurse, as much as you make me laugh, this one really hit home and brought me to tears. Thanks ZDogg ❤️

@jhudson225 5 лет назад

I’m a pediatric perfusionist and ECMO specialist. I’ve written about 7 paragraphs and erased them so far. There is so much to say about this, but in the end, you’ve said it way better than I can. The way we’re doing it is wrong: for the family, for the staff, and especially for the patient. I hope we can figure out a better way. Great Job, ZDoggMD....

@LdySelene1 8 лет назад

THANK YOU for making this!!! I buried both of my parents 26 months apart, Pop in Jan 2013 and Mom this past March. My family is still praised for having talked openly about my parents' wishes. My father's death was made much more tolerable by the fantastic critical care staff of the RICU at Rhode Island Hospital. My Mom, however, was not so blessed. She had a cardiac surgeon who would not listen to reason. Mitral and tricuspid valves replaced, maze procedure done, 74 yrs old and open for 7.5 hours. Retained over 100 lbs of fluid. Kidneys failed on the table, cardiac tampanade 3 days out from surgery, intubated for 8 days, BUN shot up to 163, pleural effusion of left lung which never reopened. I spent 32 days arguing to let her die in peace and he refused. "We are not in the business of killing," he said to me. I am now in the process of working with my state legislators to get laws passed to help POAs for Healthcare carry out the wishes of their loved ones. THANK YOU again and thank you for what you do every day. Bless you, doc.

@ZDoggMD 8 лет назад

+Erin L Blackman Wow, I'm so sorry about what your mom went through. Thanks for telling her story.

@LdySelene1 8 лет назад

I am thankful that there are doctors like you, who realize that "first do no harm" does not mean "do not let your patient die". It is, often times, harmful to keep them alive.

@teinekenney 4 года назад

But your mother's doctor was definitely in business.

@katnipg Год назад

I'm so glad you portrayed this as a young person. So many people assume, hope, believe that a young person should be saved no matter what their condition is.

@MarkRobbins1961a 8 лет назад

ZDOGGMD--- I am a critical care doc in Virginia. Your video is excellent---you got it all right. The importance of family discussions before the crisis cant be overstated. Keep up the good work--- you are a great messenger!

@ADE330Catons 7 лет назад

I'm a retired attorney and have been trained as a volunteer to do presentations for consumers and health care providers on advance directives/living wills. This video offers an incredible outreach to younger folks, both for themselves and their older family members. The goal is to honor the wishes of the patient once they lose capacity to decide. It doesn't matter whether it would be their choice to "pull the plug" or "keep my heart beating". The point is to do, as much as one could know, what the patient would want, and an important part of the process is having family conversations in advance.

@ZDoggMD 7 лет назад

+Alan Eason spot on! Thanks for the work you do!

@hennesseyvillota4337 7 лет назад

ZDoggMD dddxvc

@NC_SUGAR 9 лет назад

I'm in the medical field and so is my oldest daughter. I am 58. My children know and we have a written agreement that if I ever get to the point of a resuscitation decision being made to please stop and consider what my quality of life would be like. Let me go! I cared for them all their lives and expect them to make 1 unselfish decision for me when it's time to say goodbye. Not to mention resuscitation on a frail fragile body is a brutal act in itself if done properly. Thank you for this video.

@snoopy_peanuts_77 9 лет назад

I was a kid and noticed we would always recognize when other species needed to be relieved of their terminal misery but would go to extremes knowing that a loved one would die anyway...it seemed cruel to me

@genesisgonzalez1940 6 лет назад

Yeah, it's so sad and in a way is just selfishness, we as family don't want to suffer.

@karilehman9882 2 месяца назад

That one always gets me too. I've made that call on a number of animals (I've worked in rescue) and it really bothers me that we allow "just" animals more dignity than humans - and the same people who recognize that it's the most humane option will still keep meemaw alive with machines for months.

@elizabethsmith5932 8 лет назад

I recently had to deal with this. My husband has been a c6 c7 quadriplegic for 17 years. He said he didn't want to be put on a vent again. During an emergency he was. I have been the only one that ever took care of him. None of his family members even called him. however when I made the decision to remove the vent they all show up crying and demanding that I don't have the legal right to make a decision. I have always been the only one that was there for him. where the hell were they the past 17 years.

@ZDoggMD 8 лет назад

+Elizabeth Smith Elizabeth you certainly aren't alone in this scenario. Sorry for your loss and everything your husband and you had to go through.

@FPRESLEY1 8 лет назад

+Elizabeth Smith So sorry for your loss. Just know that he is smiling down on you now.

@daniellezm 8 лет назад

@serenitypoynter5154 8 лет назад

I'm sorry I feel your pain, god bless us all

@merkinidgit 8 лет назад

It happens on hospice, too; family members long gone show up and stir the pot, questioning the plan of care and undermining the family caregiver. I prefer to think of the chaos as inadvertent and that the disturbers are just using an ineffective strategy for coping, which for them also includes guilt over the estrangement. Extending life gives another chance to have the relationship long ignored. The delusion, for them, is that even with that, they would most likely revert back to avoiding the relationship! Their issue, not yours. Easy to say, much harder to deal with. You did right by your husband so I hope you find comfort in that.

@SeldimSeen1 8 лет назад

Been a nurse many times in CCU helping the doctor to teach families when its too late that letting someone go is more humane. Get those Advance Directives folks.

@Xava 8 лет назад

AND make sure family or friends who will advocate for you also have a copy of your health directive as well. The hospital's copy of my mother's mysteriously disappeared, as did the folder with DNR on it, when she had a heart attack while already in the hospital.

@laurasutherland2352 5 лет назад

@@Xava I always STRONGLY advise my pts to make make copies of their AD's and POLST's and give them liberally to just about anyone involved in their care. I tell them, "If you give someone (ie, hospital or SNF) the original, you'll never see it again." (And I tell people in general that having their AD's "on file" with their attorney or doctor or the local hospital does fuck-all when 911 shows up at their door. Paramedics aren't going to stand around discussing your bucket list. They're going to code whether you like it or not because they're required to.)

@karilehman9882 2 месяца назад

@@laurasutherland2352 you can post it to your fridge. They're supposed to look there for any relevant health info that might help them treat you. It doesn't guarantee they'll follow your wishes, but at least there's a chance.

@darkshadow3072 6 лет назад

I'm an RN and have been through this on the nursing side too many times. I cried. Nurses hurt too when this happens. Powerful song ZDogg, thank you.

@raepersonett3172 8 лет назад

Amen... from a Hospice nurse... Daughter , sister, cousin, mother , aunt , grandmother... Friend... Lover!

@kookymunster75 5 лет назад

This makes me cry as it reminds me of my best friend who died a long time ago. She collapsed from a ruptured brain aneurysm a week after giving birth to her son and was in the ICU intubated and comatose. Her family heavily depended on her and begged for consults, second opinions, even a transfer to a 'better medical facility.' The doctors knew that I am a nurse and after showing me her scans and neuro exam, asked me to help explain to the family that she was gone. Despite all this, they still wanted to press on. She herniated while I was still there and I noticed her warm hands getting cooler. I whispered to her and told her it was okay to stop fighting if she felt she couldn't go on anymore. Not long after, she was taken off life support and she passed. I never told her family of that moment alone with her but it haunts me to this day.

@theeclecticnurse2485 6 лет назад

I’m a new nurse and just lost my mom to sepsis. I did hear my mom say once “let me go.” This comforts me because I can see both the family and medical side, and know my mom isn’t hurting. I hurt but she doesn’t.

@rofahcherishlchaim1927 3 года назад

So true!! I was lucky enough to have grown-up surrounded by all four of my grandparents in rural America.... Thankfully, all four of them were able to “die good deaths” and (as much as possible) did it on their own terms- No last minute heroics. No extended suffering. No unnecessary expenses, No lengthy hospital stays... And for those of us who were “left behind-“ No guilt “for not doing enough.....” None of my grandparents were rich or worldly, but they were all truly wise- They all chose to live (healthily) “at home” until the end; they were all active; and they were all frequently surrounded by their friends and extended families..... After growing-up on our 230-year-old family farm, surrounded by generational friends, distant cousins, and multiple family cemeteries; working for a veterinarian until college; and being with my grandparents at the end, I know first-hand that there are many things that are far worse than dying, including, as my 94-year-old-grandfather once confessed, “realizing that you’re the only one left” and finally understanding why his elderly grandmother had regularly prayed to die..... Thankfully, my oncologist is a “straight-shooter” and while I fought like h*ll to live long enough to see my kids “grow-up,” now that we have passed that milestone, I want to make the most of every day; will do everything possible to ensure that I too can have a “good death;” and hope to face the inevitable as bravely and with as much dignity as my grandparents did..... I have a friend whose father is confined to a medical facility due to Alzheimers and when my friend recently informed me that her father was recovering from heart surgery, I honestly struggled as I stifled the urge to ask, “Why?” ....Thanks for the reminder ZDoggMD and to everyone else for sharing your experiences.... There seems to be a lot of truth to the rumor that medical folks are unlikely to request extraordinary measures to prolong their own lives.

@emergencymedicine7944 5 лет назад

Every few months i come back to listen to this song

@alterbridgefan99 Год назад

Same! The most amazing Z Dogg song

@kellonrs8241 9 лет назад

My boyfriend's father had his 2nd heart attack and was placed in the CICU. Being a nurse I understood the dying process and knew he would never recover but his daughter insisted he stay on the vent. She was so hysterical and unreasonable. He had no advances directives so everyone looked at my boyfriend for the next step. He was torn between letting his father go and his sister's wishes. His father eventually passed but the situation caused a lot of resentment and strained relationships. This man was not given a dignified death because no one talked about final wishes. The situation became too real at the moment when it was too late.

@ZDoggMD 9 лет назад

+Kelly N. A story heard time and time again. Thanks for sharing it Kelly.

@alterbridgefan99 6 лет назад

That's so sad

@JillieoftheValley 8 лет назад

I began following this Dr when my boss made an excited call to me during a medical convention she was attending. He spoke there.. This is sort of huge.

@macostol 9 лет назад

This is absolute genius. I'm currently a pathology resident but I've completed numerous electives in anaesthesia and critical care and absolutely believe that these conversations happen far too late currently. It's an issue compounded by the terrible misrepresentation of what actually happens to cardiac arrests if ROSC is achieved or even the trivial way that low GCS scores are treated. The message has to get out there that a return to baseline is incredibly unlikely and that all survival statistics incorporate only those who physical survived but may not have actually survived in a way that anyone would be happy with. A needless, pointless and inappropriate push to "do everything" because people don't want to be be seen to give up or to feel that they are responsible for death stems from chronic miseducation on these matters. I've seen many DNAR conversations handled very well and ending with people properly understanding that it really is time and that there's no sense, rhyme or reason in attempting to utilise painful and invasive treatments to stop the unstoppable. The message needs to get out there that "doing everything" doesn't mean attempting to prolong or treat that which can neither be prolonged nor treated but actually using the excellent scope of medications to ensure a painless, undistressing and symptomless passing for all when the time comes and to save the treatments for when there really is something to treat.

@leslifullerton-pacis2180 6 лет назад

I'm a critical care nurse. This has always been my very favorite video of ZdoggMD's, because it perfectly portrays how it feels to us to keep someone going because we don't know what they would have wanted, when we know it's futile and probably painful.

@alxpenguin 9 лет назад

As a young MD this really hits home. Can't stress enough how important it is to have this conversation NOW. Let your loved ones know what your want. Take away the burden of having take that decision which inevitably carries a huge amount of guilt. Haven't met the first patient that has not told me they want to die at home and NOT in an ICU. Start the conversation. Get your stuff on in order. This WILL happen. It's just a matter of time. ZDogg, once more your nailed. Mad respect!!

@ZDoggMD 9 лет назад

Alejandro Delgado PROPS.

@raisingrare6344 8 лет назад

Over the past week my family has had to face this type of situation after my sister suffered an inoperable aneurysm in the vertebral artery. She was on Coumadin. Because of an artificial heart valve so the bleeding was extensive. Her Neuro exam as terrible but since she wasn't brain dead, my poor brother in law got a lot of push back from the doctors, including one Neuro who said she might someday learn to feed herself and encouraged us to maintain life support so she could possibly go to a long term care facility. She had no gag reflex, one sluggish dilated but reactive pupil, no gag reflex, no corneal reflex, no pain reflex, positive Babinsky, couldn't maintain her own temperature, yet one Neuro and another doctor denied her final wish of being an organ donor to be carried out. The doctors were upset with the family for terminating life support, even though they all agreed that a meaningful recovery wasn't possible. It was a terrible week but my sister was taken off life support and passed away surrounded by her family. I held her hand, rubbed her head and was with her until she took her final breath. We all followed her written wishes, but really got a lot of nasty looks and remarks from doctors and nurses. It was really terrible having q 1 hour Neuro checks for nearly 5 days without change yet unable to end the suffering.

@lindsaygray3563 8 лет назад

This is so spot on! I worked in ICU for acouple years and just couldn't take watching pts slowly die by putting every tube in every whole and constantly resuscitating when the family is unsure of what the pt really wanted. It's so important to have make your wishes known and not let your body be slowly tortured when truthfully the pt and there brain is already dead (in most cases) living wills and health care proxies are sooooooo important! Don't put it off! You may think, oh well I'm too young, meanwhile what if your driving to work and someone crashes into you and you're seriously injured and can't speak for yourself because you are on breathing machines and in a coma. It's never too early. You never know what could happen.

@SedonaHomes 7 лет назад

This is super heavy but it convinced me to activate a living will.

@shayd1 9 лет назад

We measure every variable of our lives by quality until we get to the end where we forget everything we've learned and value only quantity. So many people go through torture against their will every single day because we fear death. Don't do it to your loved ones and don't let it happen to yourself. Get a living will.

@gaileverett6654 9 лет назад

I am in tears watching this. My husband passed away last year at age 40 from a massive heart attack, "the widow maker". I was at home with him and did CPR and the paramedics worked with him for over an hour. I knew he was gone in the blink of an eye. It is horrible, but I am so glad I did not have to sit in a hospital with him and watch him suffer more, Thank you for this one.

@NoonieMama 9 лет назад

Thank you for making this video. I believe before we open the lines of discussion with our families, we health care professionals need to have discussions...I've been a nurse 38 years and have never seen so many pussyfooted MD's who will NOT even discuss a patient's soon pending death with the family,but would rather ventilate, drip,labwork,xray them until the femily has 100% hope...so when whomever dies, it is a SHOCK to them and the blame falls on the nurses. Society needs to grow up.

@ZDoggMD 9 лет назад

Sue Horn #BOOM

@goldzig8404 9 лет назад

Sue Horn Yes.

@kristinalongoria5480 6 лет назад

My thought exactly! I was just talking about this to one of my coworkers. I've had a couple of pts that I knew were already at the end as soon as I received them from previous nurse. Yet family still knew nothing. And of course that is not in my scope of practice. Hospice is a amazing thing. Having them expire in peace.

@karilehman9882 2 месяца назад

Unfortunately some of the time that's financially motivated. Keep billing insurance for anything and everything possible until they flatline.

@PuddinTater 9 лет назад

This video is right on point. I know I'm only 29, but I suffer from a lot of painful and life threatening illnesses. I've been a nurse in long term care since I was 19. I have made it a point to make my wishes very clear. I have an advanced directive as well as a durable DNR. My family doesn't agree with the DNR, but I don't expect them to understand. Last year I spent over a month in ICU at UVA hospital and many times I was told I likely wouldn't make it (septic with several types of bacteria), which made me make sure my wishes were known. I guess the point I'm trying to make is it doesn't matter how young you are. Make your wishes known. We aren't guarentee tomorrow.

@FlyboyZoom 9 лет назад

As an RN of 17 years, I thank you for this video.

@annabananabones08 8 лет назад

I'm a Hospice aid and this hits me right in the heart

@laurasutherland2352 5 лет назад

Hospice nurse here. Thank you so much for what you do!

@tigersaidrawr 5 лет назад

I didnt know what hospice was until i was told to reach out for help with my terminally ill mother (metastasized lung cancer.) I was a very young adult and profoundly overwhelmed by the amount of responsibilities piling up along with my own grief. A hospice worker faced our grief and anxiety every day, she saved my sanity and was able to give my mother a more comfortable few months. I am forever grateful to the people in your profession. I don't know how you do it, but please keep on doing it.

@chris302001 6 лет назад

This actually brought tears to my eyes.... No patient leaves a “establish care” visit without an AD packet

@nestowa 8 лет назад

Working in Healthcare for over 20 years, many of it on Long Term Care, this made me cry. So many people (patients and residents) I have had the pleasure of meeting. Their family members feeling guilty (?) and end up extending the life of these people who have lived such full and beautiful lives. These people who want to leave this life for whatever waits them in the next. it is so sad and demeaning to the person whose life is being prolonged for guilt sake. This is an important discussion. One is never too young to start it either!

@kristenogrady1256 9 лет назад

Fantastic video. I work in pediatric palliative care (medically fragile kids) and I'm so happy to be able to share this with our palliative care team. Peds EOL could be an entire video series unto itself! Anyway, thanks so much. It's great to be able to share these experiences with others out there.

@marielang9552 8 лет назад

RN for 40 years. I will choose the way that I go see Jesus Christ!

@emilyvelazquez7884 7 лет назад

Marie Lang - my mom is an RN nurse too!:)

@alterbridgefan99 6 лет назад

Marie Lang Mine too. I can't get enough of this song

@missmoxie9188 4 года назад

Please make sure you have an advance directive

@jSyndeoMusic 4 года назад

Looking forward to seeing you there when the time comes. God bless!

@hilarylawson9317 3 года назад

As a hospice nurse this is a moving song. Thank you Dr. I get far too many admissions where the pt is so sick they pass mid admission and I can do nothing for them. Please people stop waiting, let us actually help your loved ones.

@angieclebak3488 9 лет назад

This is the unsung anthem of the medical icu where I worked as a nurse for the last 5 years. These patient care experiences haunt us all, but as you suggest, the power to change these outcomes lies with every Healthcare professional. We not only have the ability, but also the responsibility, to educate our families, friends, and patients about these essential end-of-life issues with a blunt honesty that illustrates what "full code" really means. Thank you for making this incredibly important video; it inspires us all at the front line to seek out our patients' wishes, and then fully advocate for them.

@ZDoggMD 9 лет назад

Angie Clebak Yes. We must shoulder this responsibility rather than abdicate it, and we need systems in place that encourage the blunt discussions rather than dis-incentivize them.

@angelalee8002 9 лет назад

I am an ER and Palliative physician and have attended many deaths. The ER is a scary and lonely place to die. Many people, given a choice, would rather be in a homelike setting with their loved ones. Ongoing conversations between families, friends, and caregivers are vital. Nobody wants to prolong suffering or perform unwanted medical interventions. Talking about wishes, thoughts, and opinions regarding how one wants to live until one dies helps surrogate decision makers speak for their loved one. Thank you for making this.

@ZDoggMD 9 лет назад

Angela Lee "The ER is a scary and lonely place to die." Truer words were never spoken. Thanks Angela.

@donnareith4132 7 лет назад

I have been in nursing for 35 years. This video says everything I have wanted so badly to say to families who can't let go. I lost two of my three younger brothers. Nothing could be done for either of them. So we let them go peacefully. Now I am sure it takes a lot more courage to let go than to keep hanging on, hoping for the miracle that won't come.

@icordero2409 8 лет назад

OMG I love this. Even when the best laid plans are in place, sometimes someone drops the ball. My mom had a MOLST order to no perform CPR and they did. I work in a hospital and knowing what I know rage filled my heart. I am a strong advocate of Death with Dignity laws. No one should be used as a tinker toy by cardio, neuro or any other department. There was an entire cluster**** of things that happened, we took mom home AMA as per her wishes (only one nurse supported our decision), she was happy home. One week later my mom passed away after a having beautiful sunny day of outings with my siblings ... I missed out on that day because I was at work. My heart was at peace with her passing because we did what she wanted. As that sole nurse said to us when we signed her out AMA ... It passed the mommy test.

@adobrowolsky13 5 лет назад

I have been on both sides as a nurse; I’ve seen families support their loved ones to have the most peaceful dignified end and the ones who are clueless and who just want to keep their loved one alive no matter the cost or prolonging of life. I recently had an experience with a patient who was suffering from terminal illness who spent their last moments with me as I was fighting to have them sent to the hospital because they were a full code and I needed the family to be there with the docs so they could get the code status changed and let this person be at peace. Its so hard to watch people suffer for the sake of “love” and I’ve been an advocate of hospice and palliative care since before I became a nurse. I will always support my patients right to die a peaceful, dignified end and advocate for them to the best of my ability. Thank you for approaching such a difficult subject, this was a very moving piece and you did it perfectly.

@citruspounch 9 лет назад

4th year med student on palliative care rotation here. Wow... Just wow! This video is so spot-on. It is beautifully shot/directed, the lyrics are smart, relevant, and with a nice touch of humor along the way. Music and sound editing are awesome: the use of the beeping alarms at the end is pure genius. The message is a powerful one and is definitely in need of more awareness in the general population. Again, amazing job! Bravo! Keep up the good work, Doc!

@merkinidgit 4 года назад

I'm watching this video for the umpteenth time after a busy on-call weekend with hospice, and again I'm in tears. I witnessed several hours of grown sons and a devoted husband lovingly guiding their mother/wife through her agonal phase into her death early this morning. Then her son tenderly washing her body, remembering the tenderness of her bathing him as a child. All weekend long, they caught brief naps in their own peaceful home, grabbed snacks in their kitchen next to her bed, and freshened up in their own bathrooms. She had lucid moments in the home she had thoughtfully decorated and tended throughout her life there. I watched her family galvanize in a way that could only happen with them witnessing her decline and gauging her response to palliative medications, getting on the same page and appreciating one another. I also work on an acute neuroscience unit one day a week. It sickens me how occasionally a family will medically torture their loved ones out of blind selfishness. None of us, physicians or nurses, or resp therapists or phlebotomists, etc., want to harm our patients, yet we are legally compelled to do so, frustrated with how some people don't see. I want everyone to have the possibility of a deeply meaningful transition like I saw and participated in this weekend. A life well lived with a death well earned.

@michaelduffyjr3727 9 лет назад

Outstanding video and message. I am a Hospice Nurse. You can't believe how many people do not have these conversations with their family. You can't rely on the hospitals and physicians to do the right thing. They will always go for the treatment or resuscitation if there is no DNR paperwork. With the lawyers waiting in the wings they have no choice. HOSPICE is for quality of life, 6 months out is the right time. Not 2 days.Keep up the good work.

@Xxlovinanime4everxX 6 лет назад

My first job as a RN was as an ER nurse at a level 1 trauma center and I saw this a lot. Family members who want everything done even though it’s a losing battle that’ll end with a lost war for the patient. By the end of it, the patient no longer even resembles who they were and it’s an ethical dilemma. Whenever we had the new residents roll around, it was always sad to see them take the loss because, and especially as someone new, you always think that you could’ve done better. It’s a bitter pill.

@levihambrick 9 лет назад

This is one of your best videos so far, man! Great job on the production quality.

@ZDoggMD 9 лет назад

Levi H I had a LOT of help this time! Thanks to Michael Shaun and Storyworks and Wake Up! the Movie.

@user-fr7wv5jg5x 10 месяцев назад

I always find myself coming back to this video, sharing it with others. I hope you know how profound and impactful this has been. As a student nurse I listened to this for the first time, all these years later, it continues to draw me back and the meaning just grows with every new experience. Thank you Zdogg🫶🏻 I dream of the the same “system” you do…..maybe one day the powers that be will hear us all and we will have the system people deserve❤

@sandhyamathura 4 года назад

YOU are a GENIUS Doc. I've never cried watching a "parody" before. Seriously, you need a few awards and a shit ton more recognition. Genius! Brilliant!

@tammarathomas-davis9001 8 лет назад

As a hospice nurse I want to say thank you. You are so correct. It takes lots of education for families to come to terms with their love ones at end of life.

@TomMcGill 9 лет назад

+zdoggmd I'm a medicine resident in one of those "Boston Programs" and I've somehow managed to earn the moniker of "The Closer" or "The Finisher" because I dared to learn as a RN (I did neurotrauma ICU in the Southwest) how to talk to families about end of life. Heck, I even "indirectly" fired a HCP last week because she was acting in *her* best interests, not the patients. I confronted him and he said, "Ya know, you're right... how do I fix that?" I had him name another family member that actually wanted the best for the patient and not himself. This may be the only time I praise HIPAA rules, ever. Medicine had nothing to offer the poor fellow other than comfort. Yet, she pounded her chest about "the miracle". My miracle was that he die in peace and comfort. Turns out I managed to win that battle by working way past my sign out time. Critical care. Palliative care. Futile care. I've come far too good at those things for my own liking. While I feel like I can that for the next couple of years, I don't see me doing it forever. Quite the shame really, I do think I could maximize the good I could do, but because I rubbed people the wrong way (go patriarchy!) life situations will prevent me from doing so. Anyhow, the video was an affirmation I'm not as crazy as my cohort things I am. (You talk to families? WTF do you do that for?)

@rachelz312 6 лет назад

I seriously cried with this video. It breaks me heart to watch a patient suffer while family's fight over their choices and can't decide. Especially over selfish reasons. It happens far to often!

@GaryLevin 9 лет назад

I tweeted this to several news anchors, Lester Holt, Megyn Kelly, Dr Oz ???, Marc Seigel MD

@mooserphilip7205 9 лет назад

thanks a lot Gary

@jmv3317 3 года назад

Respiratory therapist here. Spot on, I recognize my ventilator alarms. And, on a personal note, my sister went through this. Medical team told us she had hope, she'd recover and get a transplant. Dragged her life out an extra 3 weeks, she was crying and in pain the entire time. She passed anyway (when specialist came in and was honest/blunt about prognosis), but was needlessly tortured (and alert/oriented for the entire time) for the entire 3 weeks, was denied pain medication due to hypotension. Thank you for this video, which is powerful and highlights the moral/ethical dilemmas with advance directives, especially in cases where the patient is unable to advocate for themselves.

@petrasetnickova9226 8 лет назад

I'm 22 and had my second open heart surgery 4 years ago. I tried to talk to my mum about me if something went wrong but she didn't want to listen... Maybe family members just don't want to listen to death related topics.

@ZDoggMD 8 лет назад

It's so hard to talk about for folks, but so important.

@Xava 8 лет назад

this is why we all should sign medical directives, so that our wishes are carried out and not our family's - or the hospital's! My 81 yo mother had massive heart attack while already in hospital, her folder had DNR written on it plus a 5 page health directive in it, they still wanted a 'living will' signed the day before. I saw all of it in/on her foldeer the day before. When I got to the hospital, there was a new/different folder with no DNR on it, no health directive in it anymore, only the living will - which I was told was too vague to remove her from the ventilator. WTH?! Had to go home to get my copy. This was painful. If she hadn't had one, I'd have had to go to court. Just wrong. In any case... Everyone age 18 and older, even if really healthy, should think about what they want done 'just in case' and sign one, AND make sure more than one person who will advocate for you has a copy of it.

@thefunniman 8 лет назад

Petra Setničková

@shaicrockett2102 7 лет назад

Unfortunately, at least in my state, the family can override a DNR-CC at any time, including during a code. Kind of defeats the purpose of it. They are important for us healthcare providers so we know what the patient wants should they code but we also understand that the family can override it at any time.

@Ankhetbast 7 лет назад

For help with that, check out Ask A Mortician here on RU-vid. She's got a lot of great advice about having the hard Death talks with loved ones. And lots of other morbid goodness.

@Fede_uyz 3 года назад

As a med student i definetly dont have that much experience, however i can recognize how true this. Between the song and reading some of these stories i'm legit tearing up right before i go into a 6 hour study session. Have this talk with your loved ones guys...

@missygarduno3266 8 лет назад

As a long term care/hospice Nurse this was one of my favorite videos. PERFECT! I wish more families had the "end of life discussion" before the end of life. Sometimes it's all about being selfish. Please, please think about how that loved one feels and the pain they are going through. Would you want to only have that chest rise and fall because a, machine is, allowing it..... KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK ZDOGG

@imdnurse 9 лет назад

This is so on point. I am a hospice nurse of 11 years. These are the tuff topics but so necessary to talk about. Thanks for your candidness.

@OffTheLineFox 9 лет назад

Thanks for this one ZDogg. After watching my grandmother slowly die after a massive stroke because of an unclear directive I was determined I would not do the same. At this time I have only the 5 wishes form. I attempted to talk about this many times with my family but got pushed off. Because I have some very specific requests I choose a close friend to be the designate to carry out those decisions. We had a long, in depth talk and I am confident as she agreed to honor everything, even as difficult as it maybe.

@docsriracha3916 5 лет назад

hey Doc! I just passed my medical boards! still watching your vids this 2019! been a fan since 2nd year med school!

@daemonsfeather 8 лет назад

I'm a caregiver. Thank you for making this.

@arthurbrunelle9828 4 года назад

As a former emergency medical PA and ACLS paramedic.... This video hit me with a ton of bricks. I was trained to prolong life at all costs... That was when I was very young. My mother and father died at home.... Surrounded by family. If no other choice, I hope to go this peacefully. Keep up the great work Dr Z

@trueloveo3 9 лет назад

This actually made me tear up. As a CST, all the unnecessary surgeries we perform because of the family's wishes are crazy. It sucks to operate on someone who you know will never wake up again. Awesome video. Best yet.

@powerpro1 8 лет назад

As an ICU nurse.....I love this video and wish it could run in our waiting areas or doctor offices....start the conversation BEFORE the hospital !! Thanks for this video ZDoggMD !!

@SiriussGirl 9 лет назад

Chilling, in a powerful and profound way. You have used what you do best to bring to light this serious issue affecting patients and healthcare. Let's get this out there - it should be used in PSAs, in medical schools, in nursing schools. Thank you Dr. Z. Keep doing what you do.

@TraceyMcConnell-wn5xm 4 месяца назад

I am a lecturer in Palliative and End-of-Care and this is one of the most powerful messages I have ever seen! It gave me goose bumps. I am going to share this. Such an important educational piece done so expertly. Wow, wow, wow

@MemphisMuse 9 лет назад

This is a very important conversation every family needs to have. On one hand, I had the horrible task of having to be the one to cut off my dad's life support, and his primary care doctor told me I was "cold" because I wanted to see the CTs of my dad's brain just to make sure there was no hope and (with my very limited education in neuropsych) see what was going on. I had to force him to discuss things with me and show me. I didn't need that extra hassle. Of course I would have deferred to him, as he was the expert, but I just needed reassurance in my mind that I was doing the right thing. I wasn't trying to do that to argue with him. It's not an easy decision. On the other hand, I subscribe to a newsletter from "Not Dead Yet", a disability advocate group that is very concerned with the proliferation of "right to die" laws in this country. In a perfect world, everyone would die as they wish to, but we don't live in a perfect world and disabled people are often treated as burdens. Add in the "profit vs patient care" contradiction and you can see how this might contribute to hasty decisions based on the "not-disabled" person's guess as to what someone else's quality of life is. I don't know what the answer is. I always come down on the side of patient care (which is why I am unemployed grrr), as clearly you do, too, Doctor. You really care and your videos, I hope, will start dialogues that need to happen. Good stuff. Thanks.

@karilehman9882 2 месяца назад

It's about the RIGHT though, not a guarantee. In every situation where it's possible the default should always be to follow the patient's wishes, whatever they might be.

@bdhandshy 9 лет назад

I am a nurse in long-term care for 25+ years. I have had to have this conversation more times than I can remember. This is truly a horrible way to go and you have really put my frustrations with this issue to light. Go Dr Z.

@smoorez8 9 лет назад

Amazing approach on bringing awareness to such a depressing topic! Talking to patients about their end of life decisions is so hard because it makes them believe their days are numbered, but the truth is that all of our days are numbered. Can't wait to see what you come up with next!

@heathers7180 Год назад

Re found this years later. Still makes me cry and now that we have lived through the covid ICU I cry more

@kamitoad2 8 лет назад

excelente interpretación ZDoggMD, realmente me conmovio

@listening2all 3 года назад

Great song and video, powerful. My father in law was 84 when he passed away and I want to thank the medical and sciences for actually prolonging his life to this age, but there is a time when there is nothing more anyone can do, it is time, time to let them rest and say goodbye. His last week in hospital he couldn't breathe, fluid build up as the kidneys and heart weakened and were in their past the use by dates. They didn't want to put him on the ventilator or oxygen for too long as they said that too is not safe. There is no way my father in law would want to have gone on living like that, he even said it to us while he was struggling to breathe, I remember tearing up and saying "I hear you, I understand, I know what your saying, but we will miss you, but I understand and agree with what your saying". Right up to that last week of his life he lived alone in his house the past 10 years after his wife died suddenly of arteriosclerosis, he cleaned, gardened, cooked, drove his car right up to that drive by ambulance to the hospital, his mind was still sharp to the end. We need to accept the death of the elderly and sick when there is no more anyone can do, and only accept medical intervention if what can be done will help them live a quality life. God bless our medical and scientific persons for all they do, they are only human and can only do so much, we should not look to them and burden them as the miracle workers of life and death.

@misschristy7020 9 лет назад

I loved this video and look forward to more. Having worked in pancreatic cancer research where few survive it is clear that death is an inevitable reality. Modern medicine has brought us to a time where we view death as a foreign concept so much so that all of us, MD's, PhD's and the general public feel that we can cheat the grim reaper. We have this ongoing thought process that if we just add this one more drug, try this combination or that, we can extend the life of a patient. In reality, the treatment is often worse than the disease itself no different than how the video showed these life-saving measures torturing the patient in order to extend their lives a few more hours or days. To know that the last chapter of patients lives are in torturous conditions at the hands of those of us who are sworn to help them weighs heavy on my heart. To bring death, the process which it occurs, the natural state of arrival at its doorstep back to the reality of what it is is the task at hand. We do not live forever and will not despite all of our wonderful new drugs, machines and best efforts. Death is a part of life. ZDoggMD, you have a wonderful gift. Your depth of insight is profound. You can help people with more than just your skill in medicine. Thank you!

@karilehman9882 2 месяца назад

My friend had to watch as her mom was pressured into additional chemo despite a terminal diagnosis and suffered far more just in the name of a few extra weeks or months. I believe very few patients would choose that if they truly knew what it involved, but doctors are happy to hand out false hope.

@victorialierheimer1509 8 лет назад

Beautiful vid, Zdog.Sharing it with everyone I know. 82 year old mom leapt into the arms of Jesus after a catastrophic stroke. Docs were kind enough to keep her alive til all of us could get there and kiss her goodbye. Then it was time for her to go. 96 year old dad made his wishes clear, and it's just so freeing. Every Single Day with old Dad is a gift, because all of us family know it could easily be the last. Well done, sir.

@MichaelFratkin 9 лет назад

Through the hallowed halls of academia, and on the long road to my becoming a palliative care physician, I simply figured that WE must change the way we cared for YOU. Wrong! The future of healthcare...this insane, fragmented, profit-fueled, technology toxic, juggernaut...depends on YOU! Or rather...all of us together. That means getting clear about what we are hoping to gain from the care we receive. It means being honest with ourselves about the limitations, as well as the benefits of our current technology. It means being strong, informed, and compassionate advocates for ourselves and those that we love. It absolutely means that we take responsibility for all the choices we make as we care for ourselves (i.e..stop eating crap, exercise more, avoid poisoning ourselves, respect each other and the earth beneath our feet, turn off the fucking TV, etc...) It also means that we get real with the transient nature of this incredible experience of being a human being and to treat that like the miracle it actually is. To me, the care we give to each other as we begin life and as we complete life is the measure of the quality of our society. We better get busy, folks! ZDogg has illuminated a shadowy world that has mostly been under the radar and too confronting to talk about openly and clearly. It's a new day folks. The world belongs to us and change is in the air...talk, share, and care! Michael D. Fratkin,MD www.ResolutionCare.com

@koprowsk 8 лет назад

This conversation is so difficult, but so necessary. I had it numerous times with my husband before he passed away. His passing was difficult and the Lord was gracious in giving me the strength to honor my husband's wishes. Please do not expect doctors or other healthcare providers to take on this burden. The burden rests with us. We need to be informed about what can happen under what conditions and we need to have that difficult conversation.

@alexandralarson5371 9 лет назад

I thinks that this is so important to discuss. My mom had an Arnold Chari Decompression surgery in '09 and she said that she didn't want to be a vegetable so she said if she was brain dead she wanted to be unhooked. But thank god that she wasn't brain dead and she is here today. But if it were my decision I would have kept her alive no matter what! But we did have this conversation and I will respected the decision she made of this would ever happen. I think that this video will help people start talking about this topic. It's so cool that you can make these videos to people talk about things that are hard to bring up. Anyway! I think all of your videos are really awesome!!

@ZDoggMD 9 лет назад

Alex Rene Thanks for sharing your story Alex!

@ryansenft3315 Год назад

One of my sisters is a nurse (been working in hospice care for 3 years, she started her nursing career 13 years ago) and we lost our stepdad to Cancer in 2017. Thankfully he (and our mom) had the appropriate paperwork and other stuff prepared ahead of time. Our stepdad had in-home hospice care for the last 2 or so weeks of his life and was able to die peacefully with his last memories being of his loving family.

@mattmorrey 9 лет назад

Not much to add. I am a hospitalist, and this song resonates with me. Thanks..

@ObediahPolkinghornIII-cz5io 4 года назад

Please keep doing what you’re doing, in every sense. My grandmother’s generation taught lessons that we appear to have forgotten. Remind us.

@alxprzg 9 лет назад

We had a patient in the ICU for over 2 months after a bypass surgery that may have not been needed. coded 3 times and brought back three times. Vent, trach, CRRT, iHD. In the nursing profession we can't start the conversation just prompt it. To me it isnt a win seeing a patient discharge from our care just to go to an LTAC. I wish they would have let him go weeks ago and avoid the extra suffering there after.

@pondmud 9 лет назад

Hospice nurse here. You nailed all the feels so well here: hopes and regrets of the families while (some) patients give us looks that beg us to stop trying to hard...and the conflict of do no harm vs torture we clinicians inflict with the purpose of raising the patient's MAP. That part broke my heart. My partner died last year of metastatic SCC. We *rocked* his End of Life by controlling the pain and other symptoms. Took road trips. Went skiing. Ate sushi. Brought the infusion nurses fancy chocolates when we knew the chemo wasn't working anymore, and said goodbye and thanks to them. Watched World Cup. Slept in bed together. He died at home, in his own bed, with no pain and no trauma. I miss him like crazy every single day, but I am so glad he was clear on what he wanted, and that we talked about it. I have no regrets -none- about how those last weeks went. Thank you for this video. I hope it prompts important conversations between people who love each other, and gets a million advanced directives on file :)

@ZDoggMD 9 лет назад

pondmud Thanks for sharing this beautiful story...

@CelticRN 9 лет назад

I am a strong proponent of family witnessed resuscitation. I'm my experience (and based on research) families are often the one to call it. They also are less likely to sue and demonstrate more effective coping.

@hiatusinc 8 лет назад

+Samantha Sherlock i'm guessing you haven't seen how traumatic a resuscitation can be. If it were me I'd never want my family around to see it.

@kellymonck8178 8 лет назад

+Samantha Sherlock I can't say that I agree with that. My dad had a heart attack about three years ago while sitting next to me on the couch. I was the one who called 911 and with my mom, helped get him to the floor so that we could start CPR. (though, we were told by the coroner that he was gone in all likelihood before we even got him off the couch) My brother came home just in time to start compressions while we waited for the ambulance. I only watched what was happening after the paramedics arrived for a short bit before I walked outside. I wasn't just getting out of the way; I couldn't watch. Even three years later, I can play that extremely traumatic event over and over in my head like a movie. I don't think it's fair to do that to a family unless they demand to be present.

@hiatusinc 8 лет назад

+Kelly “The Zebra-corn” Monck If you thought what you went through was traumatic, you've just seen the tip of the iceburg. A lot can go wrong in resuscitation too, especially if the patient is elderly, frail. For example, CPR (chest compressions) at 100 a minute will without a doubt fracture a couple of ribs in a young person with strong bones, and in an older person with brittle bones it will be guaranteed to fracture at least a dozen, puncture the underlying lung, cause bleeding, then the blood comes out of the patient's airways especially if they're tubed and splatter all over the person at that end. If the patient wakes up at this point, they are in excruciating pain and choking, drowning on their own blood filling their lungs. That is just one example. Meanwhile there's a team, a crowd of people rushing around, inserting lines, yelling commands, numbers, focused on their own little tasks. At this point they are on autopilot and are not in the same mindset as a bystander or family watching - confused, distressed, helpless. Seriously, medical professionals get traumatised and need counselling sometimes for this. 10/10 not recommended for family to be witness.

@kellymonck8178 8 лет назад

I'm well aware of what can go wrong, and I'm so thankful things did not go that way with my dad. Growing up, my dad was a paramedic and our house was always full of paramedics when he was on shift in between calls (because my mom would feed them lol). I had planned on going into medicine until my senior year in high school when my own health started to take a nose dive. Now my brother is a fireman and paramedic, so I still hear stories. He hates having to do compressions on the elderly because he knows what its going to do.

@hiatusinc 8 лет назад

+Kelly “The Zebra-corn” Monck Yeah, just wanted to illustrate some scenarios for OP

@jomorastoll1705 9 лет назад

As a nurse, this video was very close to home! I have performed CPR and will never forget the sounds or feeling beneath my hands. I also worked in Hospice for a few years and I must say that it could be hard at times, but the ability to help patients and family understand the dying process rather than be afraid of it was a blessing. Hospice is very misunderstood and I believe if people had more education about what services are provided, more people might choose this route. Maybe it is because I am a health care worker, but all my affairs are in order and I make sure all of my close family is now in order as well. Tip: People, choose someone to be a medical proxy that will be able to follow your wishes in the hardest hour! I have shared this video with my students and they love it! Well done ZDogg and keep it up. I love sharing them with my students!

@nechochwyn 8 лет назад

hardest thing i ever did was telling the doctors in the er to stop after my mom brought my dad in full code, its not easy but easier than seeing them suffer needlessly because of your own selflesness

@christopheblanchi4777 3 года назад

This video should be watched by all. How to end your life is one of the most important choice that we should have. Dying in dignity, on your terms should be what we all strive for. This takes courages and thoughtfulness.