'AITA For Canceling BF's Trip After I Wasn't Invited' -- Reddit Story 

Sometimes giving big gifts are not really a love language thing... is a form of manipulation and control...

the second you said he gave her STDs i realized it’s an abusive relationship and the gifts are to control her from leaving

See. My husband likes being alive. He would never do this.

Just saying; if she's on reddit a lot she doesn't have a strong support group and there's not a lot of people she can confide in.

I would def cancel a trip I wasn't invited to that I paid for.

If my boyfriend bought me an extravagant trip, it would be UNTHINKABLE to go without him. He is my best friend and he is the absolute first person I want to go on trips with. To think that the initial reaction of the boyfriend was to not include his girlfriend says so much not only about him as a person, but about how little he values his girl. He's absolutely going with the intention to hook up with other woman. She needs to dump him and take her girlfriends on the trip and forget about him.

This young woman is basically ruining her life for someone who doesn't care for her, and her health. As well as, she needs to go therapy because it seems like that she is lacking confidence and self-esteem to leave this man.

Cancel the yacht. Cancel the trip. Cancel the relationship.

I would cancel the whole trip. Idc if everyone already took those days off. If I’m not going on a trip I’m paying for it ain’t happening

It just screams he’s most likely or is cheating on while she’s not there. I don’t blame op for canceling the trip

I vaguely remember this... Wasn't one of the friends that OP didn't name a woman? So she was paying HER boyfriend to celebrate HIS birthday with another woman? It wasn't just the one friend obviously, but somehow she could show up and OP couldn't. I might be thinking about a completely different story though. Edit: holy crap. I had absolutely no idea about the sexually transmitted diseases. She needs to walk away for good. She had a miscarriage because of this man!

I would have canceled everything without telling him and dropped him off at the airport to find out that it had been canceled. Meanwhile I'm back at the house packing his stuff and changing the locks.

My ex did this to me. His best friend invited him to Denmark for a skating trip & his friend dates a lady that caused immense trauma to me in my teens. Didn’t even invite me…& all three of them were gonna go on such a big trip! She would be making memories with my boyfriend. Well he’s my ex now haha

My guess. He was going to allow her to come the whole trip then his friends convinced him he should “have fun” and maybe get an exotic dancer or have a one night stand while he’s out of the country. He liked the idea and now has to get rid of his girlfriend during that time

It’s an abusive relationship. She is giving her all and the canceling of the yacht was her trying to take back a little bit of control 🥺❤️

The extravagant* gift showering sounds like love bombing!!! 🚩🚩🚩 Edit for clarity - there's a difference between sweet, every day gifts and extravagant gifts like this story 😬

No matter if he’s cheating or not I think he’s a walking red flag she needs to get out

1) *cries I'm broke* when she said she got a car and 3 dogs. And 2) girl run, he's shaddy af.

Her: there’s was a yatch Him: you can’t change a gift Me: the gift was literally for you guys and a friend to go to PR and you changed the gift by not including your GF. Trash. He’s taking his side swear. No way he’s treating it like a gift from a stranger not a gift from someone you care about let alone a partner in life.

They’re like 21 and have been together for 3 years. He’s definitely trying to get some new “experiences”

Please, stop thinking that gift giving is a "love language", especially if that's all there is. This is merely a way to control and manipulate you. You can give as many expansive gifts as you want, but if you don't want your significant other to be there for you birthday, where is the love?

“You’re effin 21? With three dogs??” Me, 20 & my bf 23: nonchalantly has five cats 😂

The bf should have been clear about his plans for his birthday so the plans were adjusted and did not cause this. Bf treats OP as a gf that can come when he wants to. If it suits his plans, he provides and allows, but otherwise, gf is left to just keep quiet and obey. Breaking up and moving on is the best for the OP.

She paid for this wonderful vacation, and gifts while planning a party and he doesn’t invite her? I’d have canceled the whole damn trip

The gifts aren't gifts. It's just a manipulation. It's really easy to gaslight yourself when there's extravagant gifts on the line. Three dogs? Sounds like an excellent distraction from his extra curriculars....

Love how your dads girlfriend he had at the time u was in high school was so open to u and trying to make sure the same thing doesn't happen to you

Sounds like he wants to get a bit too crazy with his friends. Say no to gas lighters!

Yiiiiiikes - his gifts to her make a bit more sense now with his cheating & std’s in the mix. Hope they called it quits and take some time to themselves before hopping into another relationship.

what i dont understand in this is, if you are in love with your partner, (cause thats why you are together), then i speak honestly, and talk about anything with him/her. So.... why the hell am i being shady about something like this?

I wouldn't have said anything about any of the gifts, just gotten refunds. But NTA. If my SO told me I wasn't invited to her birthday celebration after being together for years, I'd certainly be heartbroken.

1. Very rich couple in their early 20s 2. One has DWI 3. The other has a friend that just got out of jail 4. Hanging out on a yacht in a foreign country. Is anyone else getting some shady vibes here?

sarah brought me to your channel a few weeks ago & im just realizing we are from the same place! i grew up in duluth and its so cool to see someone from northern MN killing it in LA :)

He gives her expensive gifts cuz he cheat on her and he was planning to do so on his trip, then acted that way to hurt her and then make her look (and believe) that she is a crazy jealous revenge gf 🤬🤬🤬🤬

So on the one hand, the guy here clearly is more affluent than OP. There is perhaps an element of not processing the value of money for OP ("It's one banana, how much could it cost? Ten dollars??") and assuming his own relationship to money is universal, so the disconnect over the trip and the yacht is... feasible, in a "makes logical sense but damn is that completely unrelatable" alien kinda way. "What, it's a big deal for you to pop over on your own dime a few days later?" On the other hand, this guy obviously did not communicate his intentions for his birthday at all -- At what point was he going to run by her that she wasn't coming, if she hadn't brought it up with regards to the gifts? Would he have just left her behind at the airport? -- though what Morgan says about him possibly even leading OP on so she would go overboard party-planning is also plausible. ... and now having heard about the multiple lifelong STIs and miscarriage he gave her, in addition to the suspicions about him previously and once again cheating respectively... ... and her apparent DUI and attempts to fraudulently pass a drug test, coupled with Morgan's suspicions about her possibly trying to guilt him over the yacht... Yeah no this is a toxic relationship, burn it down and start over.

The problem is its hard enough finding a good man thats loyal n all the good qualities. But I think she's unsure about leaving cus now she carries an std and thats a major thing people do their best to steer clear of. No shade to those that have it but... nobody wants any parts. As someone thats clean, being clean is pretty high on my wishlist in a boyfriend

This video was overwhelming as I experienced something very very similar to this with the infidelity, same std etc etc and it’s crazy to hear other peoples stories and knowing this does happen

I dont think she's the asshole even for saying "ok I'm not gonna get you as extravagant of a gift" because he's obviously more well off than she is, and so if he doesn't want her there then... I wouldn't... although she didn't have to say anything. He's the asshole and an abuser Edit : if they've been together 3 years he could've groomed her when he was 20...

Okay i just cant get past the fact that shes 21 and hes 22? Like whos money are they spending? Idk a single 21 year old buying trips and renting yachts 😂

Yes! More content !!!

My man knows not to even think to be this trifling 😂😂

Even hearing the story I am incapable of identifying love bombing until someone else points it out rip :)

Wild State Cider! Yeah! I have that exact same hoodie!

I have that blanket, it’s mad comfy

NTA he absolutely wanted to hook up with someone there

I'm lovin the cozy vibes!!!

We Puertorrican welcome her, not him🤣 he ain’t worth it at all

I am sorry, but I feel like that guy is cheating. I feel like in this context, him so adamantly wanting to be alone with his friends on his birthday trip to another country so he can act single. I don't understand people who don't want their SO around them? Obviously, some alone time is fire for everyone, and maybe I am just poor with no friends, but wanting to take vacations away from your SO and go to do massively fun things to make memories purposefully without your SO, seems like a red flag in general for me. To me it feels like that person doesn't like their SO as much as the SO deserves, or they want to act single. I cannot imagine my BF going and doing something like this without me, him even wanting to exclude me would CRUSH ME because to me an experience isn't an experience unless we both are in the memory. It's so hurtful to feel like being someone's girlfriend/wife means you can't be part of friend time too? Like, you can be part of friend time before you get together/while he's chasing and nobody has any issues with it, but once you're "the gf/wife" it's like it's not fun to invite you anymore? Which leads me to believe that phenomenon is less about "alone time with just friends" and more about chasing girls and acting single. Because you'll notice when you're just the friend he wants to get with, you can be invited to everything and all the guys don't care and everyone has fun. Women aren't just living fleshlights that you tie down because you want on demand WAP,. If you don't like hanging out with your girl, unless it leads to sex, why are you together? If your girl isn't your friend that you think is fun to be with, why are you together? If your girl can't come to your birthday because you won't have as good of a time, why are you together? If you go to make a stellar memory and think "man it would be better if my gf isn't there for it", WHY ARE YOU TOGETHER? Let her go find someone who wants to spend time with her the way she wants to with them. Dudes always call women crazy, but it's crazy to be with someone you don't even like fully, while they adore you and tear them apart from wondering why they aren't good enough for you.

I had a boyfriend who did something similar to this. You might be surprised to learn I still keep him around. In the backyard. About 6 feet below ground. 😆

I think she needs someone whoso love language is not material, tbh things get sooo complicated when you narrow down your love to money

How dare he say that. I’m sure he just wanted to go to some sort of club or get hella girls to come to his party so that he doesn’t have to explain to you why they are there. This isn’t ok. If you are trying to make a special day for him and he says you can’t come isn’t ok.

This sounds like the beginning of midsomar

She needs some serious help and find a better person to be with(whether it be friends or support system). Gift giving may be a form of control from him, cause if she leaves with the car or dogs the law can get involved and she could be blamed

Therapy is the same thing as a doctor's visit you need to have a check up. More like changing your oil you can't expect to not do these things and still have a running vehicle or body.

It sounds like you said "am I the gas hole?" 😆 i would definitely be the GAS hole...my ex bf used to call me the lean mean farting machine lolol

OP please break up!!! 😢Someone who shows that they don’t care about you, will continue to not care about you!!! And he’s shown it multiple times: giving you STDs, not wanting you on his birthday, and cheating

man that's a really disfunctional and toxic relationship lmao

That saids to me he’s hiding something and those gift’s are compensating for something he’s hiding

..... And I'm just here with 7 dogs, six cats and a couple of horses.... And ice had that many or more since my teens... Is that not normal? 😂 😂

Morgan where can we send listener write ins to you? Is there an email for this?

I’m sorry Mr. Male commenter in this video but it’s obvious that you were thinking from your male perspective that it’s just he wants to hang out with friends. I’m just gonna say if he had already had a conversation with her where he was saying that he wanted her to go with him and then all of a sudden a couple of days later he changes his mind it’s because his friends said something they were planning to do that week that would make his girlfriend uncomfortable with them doing so he probably changed his mind because he’s going to do something on his birthday that would possibly leas to break up territory because his girlfriend would not be OK with it so that’s why he wants her to wait until after his birthday so he can do things far away from her without getting caught. You definitely are not able to see that that’s for sure.

A person spreading STDs and a multitude of sexual partners used to be an acceptable red flag. Now it’s considered judgmental to avoid such man despite it giving a peek into a person’s character.

Justin: oh-kayyh🤠

NTA....Get money back and break up, it is not normal behavior for a partner.

There is one thing me and my bf don’t connect on. 1 week a year is a traditional party week in my country. My bf loves it. I don’t like crowded areas, way to much alcohol an way to loud music. Our first year together I went with him. At the end we were both miserable. I absolutely hated it and didn’t hide my grumpiness from him and that ruined the mood. After that we just agreed that that is the week he goes with his friends and we do something for the 2 of us afterwards.

On the other hand is that a real banana plant!?

I am looking into starting my own podcast. What “gear” do you guys use because I love this podcast and how it has turned out :))

also the “wrongly accused” lmao yeah right dudr

I know how to pass a drug test! You don’t do drugs 😂😂

Wasn’t this done ages ago? Like 6 months ago I swear this was posted!!??? Is there any other updates?

You are the significant other. Him not inviting you, is not acceptable.

They both sounds like nightmares

ok but what is his reasoning for her not being there?

I feel like they are both toxic.

Also, let him go without you, book a separate flight/hotel and watch from afar.

I love this guy he is a good guy! He is an advocate for any woman. but it really shows how far certain thing just go over men's heads. Even him saying that there are better ways because this set up is so ridiculous if you where gonna hide it. He really doesn't know how bold men in General are and how many will lie saying it's not what it looks like and gaslight you even if caught naked in bed with someone. BUT at the end he isn't buying that the guy has been faithful and changed his behavior to be better. While at the end she was more hopeful that the guy was actually a good guy or maybe changed his behaviors. I think he has messed her up and got her hooked on drugs she was probably groomed and that is never addressed

They are in a toxic a** relationship Jesus Christ

Defo red flags, but also the “he discussed with me pueto Rico” that could be either I want that for my birthday or yeah I’m thinking of going there but in his mind with the boys. She’s jumped on it but it’s not clear he asked for it.

My first instinct was that, if you are giving a gift, its not about you, its not for you, its giving me...... when we break up i take back all the stuff i gave you to be spiteful (which means they werent gifts). People can holiday with their friends, both partners dont need to be involved in every single thing that happens but for this to be successful it has to be a really respectful healthy relationship. However, in this instance it sounds like its quite a toxic space, hes being intentionally uncommunicative to leave his options open. And shes retaliating out of spite, in an attempt to manipulate him to get the outcome she wants. They are trapped in a toxic cycle, i think time apart for self examination and therapy is required.

Here for the statement at 22:29

Are we allowed to submit our own stories.

love bomb alert!!

its giving midsommar

I think you should leave him, like now, don't think anymore💀

hi queen

I'm also happy to not be involved.

How is it that they attack her character after all these things have happened to her

I have 3 dogs. 1 big one and 2 small ones plus a old grumpy Kitty name mongoose

After hearing the first part i really am confident he only wanted her not to come for a really specific reason like cheating, which i hope not. Why other reason would he not

She can’t change her mind about the gifts she bought. An expensive ass one at that. But he can change his mind and back track what he say’s and tells her “ oh you’ll come after my b-day.” Ya no 😭 cancel the trip air bnb and leave that man.

Is that a real banana plant?

Well, yeah. If you had planned the trip for BOTH of you as a couples trip, then obviously he's the AH. If you bought him a trip for him and the boys and didnt tell him explicitly that it was for both of you, then no, yta. It depends entirely on how you worded it. Honestly, both of these people seem like immature children that have no idea how to communicate.

This girl is dating the tinder swindler.

She should’ve kept the yacht for her and HER friends and broken up with him.

Didn't it come out that the boyfriend paid for half the trip plus his friends expenses?

HSV 1, or oral herpes, is not an STI. You can get it from mouth to mouth contact or from touching something and then touching your mouth. The WHO estimates 13% of people have genital herpes/HSV 2 which is an STI.

sometimes mods be doing the most. this is not revenge

This infuriated me...😡..gifts are superficial no matter how extravagant..he sounds like a douche canoe drop him and find you a person that appreciates you for you everyday

So I had a family member that would do stuff like this they would get us a gift or get us something that we needed or give us a present of some kind and then later in the year when we were having an argument they would bring it up and be like well I got you all this stuff why are you acting this way towards me I did all these things for you and I got you all this stuff and then it made you not wish they hadnt given you anything at all and that they had just done nothing for you whatsoever because then they use that to hang it over your head so that they can get you to do what they want and I hated that it was the biggest manipulation and because it was a family member that was doing this to me I’ve made sure that they knew that this was manipulation emotionally and that this was some thing that if they were not my family member I would not talk to them again because they were doing this and that it wasn’t OK with me and they needed to look at that and change it

I kinda sounds like she's turning a blind eye to what's right in front of her.

I mean, a 22 yo that just has money?? sounds like daddy money, so I'm thinking either a) he's used to having someone else pay for stuff for him, since he has make a single penny by himself so money is just something that's there, available at all times, not something you have to work and fight for, or b) he's one of those scammers that pretend like they have a lot of money, but it's just money he takes from other women (like the tinder swindler).