'Husband Stole My Tummy Tuck Money' -- Reddit Story 

He realized that divorce will cost him a lot more than the $15k

The minute the husband said "his money" I knew he a manipulative person that saw his wife as someone to control/have power over

His response was NOT amazing, he's literally saying what's she wants to hear. It was a non apology!

If he’s such a great husband and father, why is he telling her she has it easy being at home? That’s not respect. A father who can’t handle his children is not a great dad. He uses her as a doormat and she is so entrenched in this abuse that she doesn’t see it. The ‘his money’ comment is his heart, not that bullshit apology. ‘Weaponized incompetence’ is perfect for what this is. I am not cranky today and I agree. Dude is an asshole.

You don’t accidentally spend a savings like that. This is premeditated and planned out behind her back. Divorce.

Why does she get called vain and shallow when he spends 15k that was ment for his wife all on himself without telling her

He’s abusive. That’s financial abuse and emotional abuse. You don’t do things like that

Lauren you totally fell for all the manipulative tactics... Lucky you have a friend who sees straight through it, so if you run into that kind of stuff irl, atleast someone will see the massive red flags.

the thing that stood out for me is the “if you wanna divorce me and leave me behind” like that just screams “im the victim” “feel sorry for me” he wanted her to feel bad for threatening divorce.

Lauren, girl, you gotta realize that when someone says “such a good husband” and “such a good father” doesn’t make it true. Lots of people call men good dads when they would ✨never✨ call those same people good moms. 👀 Listen to what they say after the “but” not before. He was a shitty husband and shitty father. There was evidence of that throughout the story. Her one aside about who he was, was simply her making herself feel better about why she was with him.

The girl in the black T needs to understand that people can be honest and vulnerable, and still be manipulating you

He's lying through his teeth when he says he thought she wouldn't care. If he really felt that way, then he would've asked her or talked with her about it ahead of time. He deliberately tried to hide it and talk her out of wanting it because he /knew/.

The money is irrelevant. He has a girlfriend. He won’t be able to explain where he’s been while he’s taking care of the kids.

... holy cow. Divorce. Therapy and divorce. This behavior is disgusting. She's in pain! He clearly doesn't respect her. Edit: Either he moved that money because he was going to leave her, he spent that money on someone else, or he gambled it all away. I really wouldn't trust him again. Does she know that the money is REALLY in his bank? Edit 2: he needs therapy, too. Seriously. I don't have a lot of sympathy, because he is now manipulating her into feeling bad for him. He needs to grow the hell up and learn how to respect his wife. Final Edit: Good for her. Divorce is definitely the right thing to do after this kind of betrayal. How dare he? He was trying to control her life and future by controlling the money he wanted to "let" her spend.

He was trying to trap her into being his maid/caretaker etc forever. Spouses are PARTNERS - they have each other’s backs and work together. Clearly this man is working by himself. So glad she got out!

Lauren still believing the “he was such a good husband and dad” is very naive to me (nothing against her at all this is just how I see it). “He’s such a good partner” is what we all say before he started to hit us and call us worthless. A lot of the time we even say that after.

He didn't "realize" anything. He knew what he was doing all along. Apology sounds manipulative

She carried his children and in doing so, damaged her body. The leash the husband could do is support his wife wanting this surgery. I’m with her; especially after the “it’s my money anyway” comment. Divorce.

That response is NOT amazing. He downed himself so much to the point where it sounds like he's doing the 'I know Im a shitty bastard' so she'll feel bad and placate him. Nah, he can go to hell.

He was more worried about her looking too good for him after the surgery than her constant pain…. Wow

Totally with Morgan on this. Dude stole 15k (which is, not to mention, the access for physical and mental relief) from someone he supposedly loves, for fear that she would be too out of his league after or that they would all find out how shitty a husband/father he'd be when he was left to handle things during her recovery....For some reason the old addage comes to mind how men are scared women will laugh at them, but women are scared men will Kill them. Like...my dude, you took 15k from your wife's account because you were scared of your own inadequacies. His fears give me the picture that he doesn't do Anything for the household and family other than being a paycheck, already....doesn't sound like a great husband and father to begin with :/

She should get the surgery and then get a divorce. He was so self absorbed that he put his stress about parenting above her physical pain. If that is even true, like she said she doesn't believe that comes out of his mouth anymore. I also hope she gets an incredible divorce attorney that will get her everything she needs for herself and her children. With this much documented communication and easy access the bank records, any attorney worth a dime could get her so much.

To spend $15,000 and blame it on a computer he either has like a drug problem or a mistress 🙈

,,,girl I worry about ur friend if she thinks that’s sweet and sincere. That is the most weaponized manipulative explanation I’ve ever heard. If she thinks that’s sincere what does she think love is?

This guy didn’t open up he just had time to come up with some really solid lies. Do you hear how perfect those answers are and just broad enough to pivot to the one she sympathizes with the most…. Ask any narcissist.

He was gaslighting her through that entire apology…

Umm, excuse me, Morgan - NO. Don't apologize for seeing things clearly. I understand Lauren wanting to give him a chance because 'he told the truth'. But like honestly how low is the bar if we are impressed by someone NOT lying to us. 😒 (Nothing against Lauren, it's just something we've adapted as a society) What he did was completely selfish and he wasn't doing what was right for his wife or his family. He was thinking solely of himself. If a situation affects him negatively, he responds poorly. Immature response to a situation.

How is he scared to be a parent? That tells me over holidays, vacations, events or whatever, he doesn't help with the kids. His personal life and family life do not blend. Separating work and family is one thing, but a fear of something he should be doing anyway? Tells me he never helps.

The fact that he did it secretively means he KNEW she would lose her shit about not being able to get the surgery they’ve been saving for for years. The fact that he put out this bs apology was only because she said divorce and he indeed panicked at the idea of losing his maid (cause let’s face it, he doesn’t think much more of her) and not because he FELT sorry. I’m glad she divorced his lying @ss and making more money than him is the cherry on top

Oh Lauren, no. He's not taking accountability and opening up with honesty. This isn't unlike him at all, he knows how to play the "great husband / great father" game and he's just doing it again here. She's used to him doing this shit and that's why she thinks he's so great. It's all bullshit and he's just going to continue to deceive her. It's really manipulative, abusive, and fucking sad.

You dont have kids to not know how to care for them. You dont call your wife vain for wanting to not be in pain & play more with the kids. He realized she was out of his league & wanted to keep her dependent & unconnected professionally. Shes now making 3x his salary with a nice house she bought herself. Keep going Queen!

It’s a HUGE red flag how quickly he turned around and said “I’m so sorry, I’m so empathic and I’m an asshole”. Something is happening with him behind the scenes. Just because someone appears to be a great husband or dad doesn’t make them a good person. He could be such a good manipulative asshole and no one would know. Maybe he was caught off guard this time because he wasn’t expecting her to find out so soon. He didn’t have enough time to come up with a good enough lie. Also another red flag to me is how he’s so insecure. I highly doubt he is worried for her during surgery, those sound like excuses.

The apology sounds like he’s sorry he got caught…

I'm probably way overthinking it but the husband and mother both calling her vain and saying she's overreacting would make me question there relationship tbh

If this woman keeps defending this man and believing his must up apologies I’m about to scream. I hope she doesn’t run into a manipulative man like this one, because going off her commentary she is very gullible.

And omg… if y’all believe his story about being worried.. y’all are dumb. Be smart. No one takes $15,000 because they’re worried.. he was hoping she wouldn’t want it and he could do whatever he was doing with it. Be smart girls. Trust your gut

Two minutes in and I am disgusted. She was in pain for 8 years in order to give this man children and he doesn't think she should have the surgery that could rectify the pain? Even without the cosmetic side of things which is still completely fair of her to want, she should get the surgery.

His "explanation" wasn't one at all - it felt completely manipulative. I had a great day today, and listening to what he said made me not trust a word, even in a happy mood. I've made that mistake many times in my past that when someone showed their true self, I brushed it off and ignored it, always wanting to believe the best in people. It has gotten me taken advantage of financially, physically, emotionally, etc. When people show you their true selves, believe it. I'm glad she got the ending she deserved.

Totally manipulative - he took the money as a form of control. To keep her down (dependant on him financially, feeling insecure about her body, and guilty about him taking her to appointments etc.) to feel superior to her and keep the power dynamic in place. He planned taking the money out, he had time to throughly think about his actions before he did it and afterwards, before he was caught out. He was ready with a story/lie and to "re-save" the money. He was not ready for such a massive 'devorce' reaction. When she said "come home" his reasons were 100% part of an emotional manipulation - every reason seemed too polished and unrealistic (one of those reasons maybe, but all 3? It felt way too thought out and planed "he laid it on way too thick!" Pretending she had the power 'too beautiful' 'wouldnt need him' ' shes so good at child care' which in its self was a POWER MOVE to make her feel bad about trying to better herself & her situation,) It was all about him maintaining Power in the relationship. And just now i heard (as writing) about what he said in therapy....he knew he had lost the upper hand in the relationship and thats all that ultimately mattered, so he was done. It was obviously too much like hard work (just like looking after her, the kids and the home for 5weeks "the bare minimum" as he still would have been asking her a million questions and palning what jobs he delegate could to her"). He knew it would never be how it was before. - Himself with all the power/money her stuck at home, under appreciated, in pain and on an "allowance". Disgusting! Many men seem to feel like relationship maintenance is too much hard work so they would prefer to just start again. Women need 'partners' in life - emotional support. I dont think Men realise how little the contibution of Money truely is to a solid relationship. (Almost anyone can have some kind of job) I am so glad she left. I think the children will ultimately be happier too as she will be more fulfilled in life and full of both emotional and physical energy to invest in her children. ❤ love that for her.

The thing that’s sticking with me that makes me not believe anything he’s saying is when she said that he said that she’s always had it easy being a stay at home mom. And that it’s his money. That’s extremely manipulative. Especially when he knows he couldn’t do what she does. When I was with my ex I was working part time while in school and he worked full time and paid the bills. It was always thrown in my face and was told that it was “his” home and not mine because I didn’t pay rent. It doesn’t change. Divorce him before it gets worse.

Even aside from moving the money, there are a million other red flags with this guy. It seems he wanted her dependent on him, both financially and possibly her being in pain meant being physically dependent on him at times. I don't buy that his fear was the actual surgery or recovery time, I think it was her getting better, feeling better about herself and being less dependent on him. He clearly really wanted her at home with the kids rather than earning money, telling her she had it easy to reinforce how 'lucky' she is and shouldn't try to change things, while lowering her self-esteem. Saying how it's his money, shows how him being the only one earning makes him feel in control of her and when his control was threatened by her mentioning divorce he tried to put her in her place. Telling her she will find another man to take care of her, sounds like he's trying to reinforce this idea that she needs a man to take care of her to again lower her self-esteem. Responding to her talking about getting a job by offering the post-nup to try to convince her not to go back to work.Trying to bring up how he takes her to therapy to remind her of all he does for her, as though she owes him, when in reality it's nothing compared to everything she does and is the least you can do for the woman who messed up her body birthing your children. Not helping out during the recovery time and not showing empathy for the pain she's in, sounds like he was annoyed that she had the surgery to get better and as though she's the one left doing everything under normal circumstance. Basically he seems abusive and that apology of his was nothing more than a performance to get her back under his control.

The brunette girl is way too gullible. That man “apologized” in the most manipulative way and all his fears were about HIM, not even if she DIED in her surgery was he afraid about her, he was scared about being left alone with the children. People lie about having great partners, this is why women stay in these abusive relationships. The bar is literally on the floor. You don’t admit your insecurities precisely when they can help you get out of the mess you made, you communicate them proactively. This is terrible advice honestly, that man basically just owns that woman. 🥴

I have nothing but the purest respect for Morgan and her boundaries. Everything about this story and the husbands behaviour just brought me back to my narcissistic ex and I fell for every excuse/lie. I love that she doesn’t stand for things like this.

Nah he’s cheating . I don’t believe he stayed with Nathaniel

Lauren,honey..she was missing all the manipulative traits..I pray and hope she doesn't fall into any manipulative relationships

The way he wished for her to find a man to take care of her AS IF HE HAD BEEN DOING THAT? Boy bye

Lauren. girl no! this guy walked ALL OVER his wife disrespected her and then is trying to emotionally manipulate her after! he's trying to guilt trip her. also who's to say any of this is true when he KNEW how much pain she was in and still did this. from the story it doesn't sound like he was a very good husband or father and it doesnt matter what the past was if he did this. this relationship isn't healthy and you are waaaay too quick to forgive.

Glad I’m not the only one who’s been feeling crazy lately! 🤣 Something dark is going on behind the scenes for him to be able to switch so easily between loving/caring/deeply sorry and stonewalling.

Why do these redditors always insist their husbands are great just after telling us absolutely crap they do and giving parentheses like that😭

In the end it totally sounds like weaponized incompetence!! Just like when people overly self depreciate to get compliments and sympathy from others. Totally not because you’re cranky, I 100% agree!!!

Babes in the Bacardi shirt 😔 please set the bar higher bc people are definitely going to take advantage of you I’m so concerned with how quickly you fell for his manipulation twice!

My dad was hiding money throughout his whole marriage to my mother. He also broke her down mentally and abused me physically and mentally. He had a girlfriend or more than one and made us think we were crazy. I will never share a bank account with my husband or any man regardless of how trusting they are.

Even if the money was for something else, or a savings account just sitting there, spending 15k without your spouse's knowledge is horrendous and a huge breach of trust!

This guy’s plan was to keep his strong, smart and ambitious wife down and dependant on him to hide the fact that he’s the one who needs her... pathetic

Not only did this man go behind her back and take her money for her MEDICAL treatment, she put off getting her muscles fixed so they could have the number of children they wanted. She has been in pain for YEARS. AND WILL STAY IN PAIN. I get his insecurities, but that's what its coming down to. He was putting his insecurities before her pain.

He thought she didn’t want the surgery anymore ??? so then why did he need to take it out because he was freaking out about what would happen when she got the surgery???

My father hid the fact that he had BPD before marrying mom. She said that as soon as they were married, his countenance completely changed. He was extremely emotionally abusive/manipulative and would try to waste their money. Before my mom could ask for a divorce, she found out she was pregnant with me and thought that this would help him. It didn't. They got a divorce shorty after I was born. It's been 14 years since he died, and I don't really even remember what he looks like. Sadly, I'm kind of grateful that I never got to know him. Scares the crap out of me that the same thing could happen to me. Safe to say that I will be dating someone for a good long while before I ever agree to marriage.

Hardcore, divorce. Spending that kind of money without discussing it with your spouse is a hard no. There was a lot wrong, but that was one of the reasons I ended my first marriage and that was only $4500. That dude would learn that $15,000 is nothing when she takes him to the cleaners.

I feel like the husband making a comment “no divorce, it’s my money anyway” and then texting her the next day and apologising is still a 🚩. Let me explain. He was being financially abusive. And then he realised that divorce was on the table and this woman wouldn’t be under his financial control anymore. So he panicked and apologised immediately to pacify her and make her happy. I’ve seen a similar case with my aunt where her husband would hit her and then come and apologise later and swear he’d change in the future. But then he never followed through. This continued for 20 years till my aunt told my parents and my dad confronted her husband. So making such a promise is still shady because he’s trying to keep her within his clutches. But the fact was that when he was caught he showed his true colours and who’s to say he won’t do it again? Edit: OP should make him pay for her tummy tuck and make him do all the work while she’s in recovery and then divorce him.

His response makes me wonder if his mom called him to yell at him too.

A lot of people downplay their actions by attacking themselves like what he did ‘I’m selfish man’ so that the other person would feel bad and comfort them plus he ignored her PAIN because HE was insecure

My guess is he was planning to return the money after he did something sketch- kinda like a shady biz deal he didn't want to run by her - and then she caught him early. RUUUUUUUN. Also girl I'm worried about your friend 😂 she all over the place with her "very sure" gut instincts.

He probably sent that "I'm sorry, I panicked" text after his own mother told him off. Remember, by that time, she had already expressed her support of OP. She probably called him up and gave him a verbal spanking. Also, she probably told him what would happen if she did divorce and that she had the absolute right to divorce over this, that she was NOT his legal slave, and he could NOT keep her against her will. Also, he panicked because "I thought of the the recovery time, and how I'd have to take care of the house and kids, and do all the stuff you do, so I figured I'd get rid of the money, and we'd just save up for it again," meaning "I planned to make you wait ANOTHER 8 YEARS, so that when you had it, your recovery would not include MY taking care of three YOUNG children, and I wouldn't have to work so hard doing what you already do, day in, day out, year after year, and make you wait SIXTEEN BLOODY, PAINFUL YEARS, DOING ALL THAT WORK, because I can't be bothered to do the same thing for a few weeks." I'm not happy with it, either. Yeah, sure, he apologized and admitted he was awful, but he was still awful, and a simple, "I'm sorry, take me back" is INSUFFICIENT..

Apparently those people don’t know what it’s like to live with chronic pain🥺 they are all leaving that part out!

His response was a lie. Guaranteed he borrowed that money. Guaranteed he had an affair. Sorry. Ok heard that she reviewed his accounts at the end but … he is still the asshole.

Lol the fact that he was worried she’d leave him unless he took the money, and then taking the money almost make her leave him 🤣🤣🤣

the fact that he took the money then said he'd immediately send it back makes me feel like he's got money he's hiding from her or financial things he's not running by her. i doubt it's better than she thinks, is he taking loans???? another woman??? gambling???? that would infuriate me as the spouse. i wouldn't believe him either. i'd want to separate until i knew it ALL if i was her.

Yeah I still don’t buy anything the man is saying. He’s got a secret life for sure

He has a second family or he has a gambling problem

“It’s my money anyway.” THIS MAKES ME RAGE. My husband and I don’t plan on having kids, but I have said if we ever did and he said those words to me, divorce. Just divorce. Such nasty, selfish words to say to a stay-at-home parent.

This ended up being OP story of how she proved herself she was a badass

Na. Big ol NA! You reallyyyyy think that 15k is still in his possession? 15 freaking grand!? Girllll. He either spent it on substances, another girl, gambling, laundering, saving up to leave you or even worse than any of that. Reverse uno and leave him. Especially after his response down talking himself and trying to "apologize" after he was so nonchalant and dismissive in the first place. She got the money back the SAME day?? After he already spent it?? He got the money back from someone and is now able to "give it back" to her so she doesnt leave him and he can keep up the facade. He's doing something shady and he's been doing it for awhile until you found out, cause suddenly it was just *his* money. Those "insecurities" that he was spouting off about are complete bs. She made the mistake to give him time to think and revel on possible excuses thatd shed believe incase she put 2 and 2 together and realized a computer isnt 15k. He was trying to manipulate her and was almost successful. So glad she got out.

1st story. I'm a gamer & can say only top of the range, kitted out gamer pc's can cost a good couple $K but not 14K. I've probably spent around 3K on my own with renovations on it, no where near 14K. Where the heck did that money go? Also OP & husband should swap mums.

You had me at “weaponized incompetence”. 💯 SUBBED!!!

Textbook financial abuse with some gaslighting thrown in. So glad she's rid of him. Hopefully they can coparent reasonably well.

I have the same stomach separation. It really does suck. It's painful, clothes never fit right and you feel awful about yourself. I've been wanting the same surgery but it just seems so far out of reach.

Makes me so happy the MIL stayed by her side ❤️

The split abs things HURT!! I have that from my daughter (her birth was hard), since I joined the military so I haven’t gotten it fixed. Living with the pain is no easy task. I applaud her so much.

This was I think the most interesting story I’ve ever heard. Betrayal, sadness, anger, shock, rekindling, Kindess, relationships, divorce, end of a a story, true colors?! SO MANY THEMES AND TWISTS OMG

You should call this video the Oregon Trail because this story was a JOURNEY

“i understand if you want a divorce” okay so you’re cheating

I can totally understand wanting the tummy tuck/surgery to fix her abdominal muscles. My second messed up the top part of my abs and my third and last messed up the bottom. I have the mom pooch, sagging skin thing going on too. My situation isn’t as bad as hers.

He didn’t want her to look and feel good, controlling tactic for sure.

if she is a stay at home mother and does everything...how the hell is he an excellent husband and father?!

“I understand if you want a divorce and to leave me behind” in that apology text rang fucking alarm bells

I say get the surgery and then recover & leave him. He has shown his true colors. He lied about what he did with the money so that’d make me question so much more especially since you couldn’t see the transfer. Now he wants to do what he should’ve done from the start. Don’t accept that apology. Lord only knows what may come in the future, but he’s not who she thought he was and above all he’s a liar. I think he’s coming up with excuses that sound good & would get him sympathy points. It doesn’t make sense still cause he took then $ then was going to put it back before she noticed, bought a computer but didn’t buy a computer the lies just keep coming. I think the only truth is that he’s scared she’ll leave him, as she should!

Yes PCs can cost $15k, but I was able to build a pretty nice one for about $2k. It's wild that he was okay with spending $15k to "treat himself"

He is not amazing he is abusive af. He moved the money. This is financial manipulation 101. He know the divorce will cost more that 15,000. She shouldn't trust him at all. He is lying about having to take care of the kids. He was planning to do something else with that money. He is either gambling, drugs or another women.

i’ve had ex’s like that. it sounds like a sweet apology but they are just in recovery mode. they will belittle theme selves to seem like it’s an honest mistake

Love the OT perspective on this. That’s so helpful. Also, I jump around your videos a lot, so I didn’t know you were an OT! Definitely sharing this with my OT partner for their input. Keep doing amazing things ❤️

Her: Literally suffering and need medical surgery Him: Spends money on useless sh*t

I felt like OPs husband gave up but I'm glad she and him are over. This man is toxic and also he didn't want to feed her more lies because he just didn't care anymore

Holy crap the more I'm hearing the more I'm like wtf. This guy deserves NO sympathy. Lauren you're way too nice! He seems sooo manipulative. Side note - SKOL 😆

Literally just got a breast reduction a couple of hours ago, best decision ever!

That comment about finding another man to take care of her, she took care of herself and the kids. He knew she was a capable woman and wanted to squash her.

This is financial infidelity and has been shown to be as equally devastating to relationships as intimate infidelity.

I’d get the procedure done, recover, get a job and leave his ass. 😂

The way your friend was happy with his apology girl stand up him giving the money back was the bare minimum that doesn’t deserve a cheer

Anyone else think it's terrifying that you can meet someone fall in love start a whole family with you and then one day it turns out it was all bullshit terrifying

So happy for that mom!! Great work seeing the signs and taking care of business. Your kids will see this from an adult lens and RESPECT you.