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AITA for refusing to go to my mother's church even though they got me a graduation gift

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Story: AITA for refusing to go to my mother's church even though they got me a graduation gift
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5 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 44

@favouritestories22 3 месяца назад

rest of this post: I definitely don't fit in at her church and haven't felt safe or welcomed in a decade. So yea, am I the asshole for refusing to go to receive a college graduation gift from the old church I haven't been to for a service in around 5 years ?

@thenon-binaryanimal2049 3 месяца назад

Nta

@JoshuaYoung-ig6xq 3 месяца назад

NTA

@isabelleisabelle4896 3 месяца назад

Even the dark side offers cookies.

@lilogonzales6625 3 месяца назад

Nta! You have been traumatised in there. You don't have to go back if they haven't treat you well

@Permenantlyexhaustedghost115 3 месяца назад

NTA. As someone who has suffered religious trauma from my own mother I get it. You don’t have to go and you don’t owe the church anything.

@mm4894 3 месяца назад

NTA. You have the right to worship the way you want, or not to worship at all if that is what you want. Others are the AH if they don't respect that.

@user-ml3hl6vr4t 3 месяца назад

NTA. Don’t go. Period. I had a similar over my wedding. Mother had gone to this small church in a small town for about 6-8 years and got married there. Looking back I think it was three at the altar type wedding because of when it happened and some other things about it. A blizzard day shortly after I turned four, she planned my wedding to the smallest detail. 16 years later I announced an engagement and she joyously brought out the box with all the details. I flatly told her NO. She hadn’t been part of that church in decades, but. A specific holiday theme in the middle of blizzard season several hours away from where most that we wanted to invite were, and I wasn’t even that faith anymore. I finally looked her in the eye and said we got the marriage license and we are doing the courthouse. I saved dad a bleeping mountain of debt. I suggested that her silver was a year later, have a vow renewal and do that mess for herself at that church. It never happened. OP, faith is a very personal matter, and never allow anyone to force you to go to any house of worship that you don’t want to go to.

@narliehs1648 3 месяца назад

NTA. This "gift" is 10000000000% a manipulation to trap OP in some way.

@monal3544 3 месяца назад

I bet there isn't a gift

@jeannettecampbell8862 3 месяца назад

I’m sure the “gift” is a forced baptism/exorcism or possibly her wedding depending on how much effort the church is willing to put into keeping OP

@alyssabates967 3 месяца назад

Bet it’s a Bible and a prayer session. Even if it isn’t, that gift comes with strings. “Oh you won’t come to church, even after they gave you this lovely gift?”

@jeannettecampbell8862 3 месяца назад

@@alyssabates967 yes. More of a long pray the evil lures of the world away session where OP likely wouldn’t be allowed to leave without confessing sins of the world and confirming continued obedience to mommy and the church.

@themayhemofmadness7038 3 месяца назад

That was my thought.

@chiakinanami5319 3 месяца назад

NTA. You were already traumatized by the church and told your mother countless times about it, she acts like you never said it. The church giving you a gift could be some sort of plot to ambush you cause your mother knows fully well that you have trauma and it's a hunch that they probably want to traumatize you more into a point where you'll end up resenting her

@ginalopez9047 3 месяца назад

They can always ask her friend or mom to give her the gift it up to what she wants to do with it I’m sorry for what she went through

@Skylar_candova 3 месяца назад

NTA I also feel the same way about temples since my mom used to force me to go to atleast 3 temples in 1 day and it ruined the experience for me so now I never go. I can believe in God without going and it doesn't affect my life in any negative way so this story was extremely relatable.

@Princess_Maya_19 3 месяца назад

If they really wanted to do something nice out of love they would just give it rather than insisting to come to the church to receive it. It sounds like they want to make a big spectacle of this. As a religious person myself it pains me to know how many people he suffered at the hands of people who claim to love God. I understandable why OP wouldn’t want to go they probably don’t feel safe.

@ile9223 3 месяца назад

NTA! your mother is not available to you and never really has been from what i hear! This makes me so sad😢! When a person has this relationship to the church it's sick and twisted and was never should happen because it's not doing her or you anything good!

@ritagreen846 3 месяца назад

Do not go to that church if you feel uncomfortable. Tell your mom to leave you alone and you don't care what it is it could be a million dollars and you don't want it

@karaiko 3 месяца назад

Nta. She and her fellowship are trying to suck you into their cult. The graduation gift might even have a consequence of " we got you a gift,now we have the right to your every decision." Are you sure its not a cult? Its not illegalto be in a cult but just to be safe Dont go, but I suggest research, if you can, on the members. Those people who try to force the youth in their small fellowship can potentially hide not so nice practices. If mom tries to force the issue, use time between graduation and now to subtly move out. (Out of state college dorms).

@johncochran8497 3 месяца назад

There are several reasons that I don't like the family of Abrahamic religions. Starting off with: 1. The children are punished for the sins of their ancestors. Does the concept "Original Sin" ring any bells. Now, what "just" deity would allow that concept to even exist? 2. Then there's the concept of "thought crimes". It no longer matters about how you act, it's a sin to even have sinful thoughts. So, if you ever have a sinful thought, you're guilty of sin, regardless of what actions you've actually taken. So, once again, what kind of deity would permit such a concept. 3. Christianity then adds an entire extra layer over this. If you spend any time at all, you are going to hear about the "shepherd guarding/guiding his flock" simile. Now, there's a few ... issues ... with that simile. First off, the shepherd does not guard the flock for the benefit of the flock. The shepherd guards the flock for the benefit of the shepherd. That shepherd wants exclusive economic benefit of the goods that the flock produces (milk, wool, meat). Finding the lost lamp is treated with the same joy that you would treat finding a lost wallet/purse filled with money. Then take a look at the sheep themselves. They are stupid, filthy animals with dung encrusted and urine stained fleeces. Yet, somehow, for some unfathomable reason, the followers of that religion seem to take comfort from that simile and having themselves cast into the roll of sheep. Just how stupid can someone be?

@sandrasausville9103 3 месяца назад

NTA you have been traumatized by her crazy religious beliefs and her forcing you to attend isn't helping you out. Sounds like she's trying to parade you around like a show pony

@melopsicodelia 3 месяца назад

NTA.

@rebeccamiller3248 3 месяца назад

NTA I believe in God but I don't trust churches either.

@jamielishbrook2384 3 месяца назад

No. Youre not.

@oblivionobliteration311 3 месяца назад

i mean it is a free gift, but it is the OP's decision

@normanhines5189 3 месяца назад

Which denomination? Learn about such things as The Great Schism, the Protestant Reformation, the internecine wars in Engalnd between Roman Catholics and Anglicans, the the history of Disenters. Then there are others such as the Mormons, the Jehovah Witnesses, the 7th Day Adventists, etc.

@aquawoelfly 3 месяца назад

It depends on your reasons..... i mean there are crazy cult churches but most disagr3eable churches just misalign with your prayerful interpretation of the bible. (Such as thier drance on LGBTQIAOP) IN GENERAL choose the religion (or atheism) that is right for you. But stay open to being a guest at other denominations for special events. (A FRIENDS wedding, baptism, dedication communion etc) I dont know what this church did to hurt you so i wont say go just to think about it.

@lisaclark7810 3 месяца назад

Nta. With what happened to have this about her church i am sorry. But, as a Christian i hope you don't blame God for it. Jesus does really love and care for you and died for your and all of our sins, and would love for you to accept him as your Lord and Savior. I get about some churches i myself have been to a few. It's your choice to and when you're ready, go and see some churches see if one can be a good fit for you, give it a try if you want. Just remember you will always have a few karen and kens there.

@GMMedic 3 месяца назад

OK, God does not need you to believe in him. You just need to live the kind of life where God believes in you. There is nothing wrong with being religiously literate and being kind to those who do believe. You do not have to join them. Realize that the only way any of the faithful can give of themselves and contribute to others and care for those around them is if others are willing to receive their kindness and their charity! Don't leave them hanging. Be a gracious recipient, take their good wishes and keep them abreast of your studies and how their gift has aided you. Do not feel any pressure to attend services or convert to their faith. It's not charity of there's an expectations of a favor in return. Best of luck in college, I wish you success.

@jop23ify 3 месяца назад

Religious trauma? What a load of rubbish?

@whip-whiplash 3 месяца назад

The church causes more problems than fixes them surprisingly

@lauryn9169 3 месяца назад

Yta

@Jay-223 3 месяца назад

How is OP an AH for not wanting to relive religious trauma?

@URB0O 3 месяца назад

Well op said she wouldn’t go , and if the church really wanted r to have it they could give it to the mother to give to op

@talora5991 3 месяца назад

The religious trauma in question: my mom made me go to church on Sunday and I’m so traumatized and angry 😡 🤡 behaviour. So victimizing

@alyssat7809 3 месяца назад

@talora5991 go troll the family that doesn't love you

@urmomssecretgf2516 3 месяца назад

@@talora5991you honestly don’t know her story so have no right to say she doesn’t have trauma from it. Based on your comment I’m gonna make the assumption that you are one of those people who would deny that the church is full of corruption and pedophiles. It’s sad that even Christian’s are filled with greed and hate.