Alcohol, Addiction & ‘losing it’ in Thailand - My THAILAND Story Part 5. 

After a week in the bars when moving here I joined a gym and went to language school.I was very happy.Then after 3 years of bliss I met my wife.

I was one of your Dad's cousins James. I only heard about your blog recently so this is this is the only one I've watched. Your Dad would be so proud of you! xx

Your best video ever. I did the same thing living in Bangkok and Pattaya. Do more videos like this. I think you can help people. I really liked this video. You peeled the onion.

My biggest fear for when i move out there is that i become alcohol dependant . I feel blessed that i met a nice lady online at the start of the pandemic and we facetime each other daily , after talking daily for nearly 2 1/2 years i booked a trip in June and spent 3 weeks travelling with her to Ayutthaya , Nakon Sawan (to meet the family) Bangkok , Hua Hin and the last 5 days we spent in Pathum Thani where i helped her run the market shop she owns . Things went great and im looking towards moving in 2024 when i hit 55 years old .

Interesting. Honest. Thanks for sharing. Brave.

I was married to a Thai lady for 10 years and we lived in Chiang mai .It was mainly happy till the money ran out in the last year .I was drinking 4 large changs a day /evening but never went on to the hard stuff .I never could learn Thai but had many Thai friends through my wifes business (hairdresser ) .She had 2 children but luckily none with me .It/she got very nasty in the end .I had to make a complete break .Now back in Ireland the last 3 years and i am happy enough alone .I absolutely love the freedom and being close to 70y do not intend getting into another relationship .Hope to visit Thailand for my 70 th birthday next Jan .Will not be contacting the ex-wife .

Man, this was the video I was waiting for, for personal reasons...

A good advertisement for guys to follow the path of a worthwhile employment, preferably a professional one but a job that gives the individual help to develop skills & mature to avoid the simple mistakes of alcoholism from too much free time. In the UK there was a popular saying "Those that do, Do, those that don't teach"

I face the same issue in my beginning of my journey of living in Thailand before and after marriage and have a kid. I was drinking more than 1 liter a day ( Blend 285, Ballys whisky and changed to vodka and Gin when I couldn't feel it anymore then back whisky) this occurred for 4 years off and on with my longest 27 days none stop drinking until I got hospitalized. The only thing that caused me to stop is being back to Saudi Arabia in covid times from 2020 but for me actually staying off alcohol for 2 years caused me to gain a whooping 45 Kg!! and my stomach devolved a acidity issue which even let me stop smoking cigarettes. my mental health improved massively but thinking about my life savings and properties I inherited sold gone mostly to alcohol makes me tick every day.

Sometimes we hit rock bottom before climbing back up to normality. Appreciate the honesty. Excellent advice.

Very similar phases in US marriages, too. At least with rhe same culture there is no culture conflicts and language miscommunication

I’m sincerely pleased for you and the growth you’ve experienced. Mine hasn’t been the same kind of journey, but still has its own strangeness, so I can totally understand just from a different direction. And for what it’s worth, it takes balls to admit to being human to a camera that may or not have a few hundred strangers on the other side. From one of those strangers, I want to say thank you for sharing and being pretty bloody straight with us. Much strength and even more success as you go forward.

Good story well told, obviously I don't mean what happened was good but these things can happen, bad habits, bad decisions and losing grip, it's happen to many as you can read in the comments on my alcohol video. There's that moment of clarity that comes where you just can't do another day, my outlet was the boxing gym in 2006, it became my new high and it was great because of the friends you make in the gym, working together, feeling good about yourself, an achievement. Well done mate.

Much respect to you telling your story. I also became the sole custody of my two daughters and raised them. I had an addiction issue before that and one day realized I didn’t want my girls to see me like that so I changed. Best decision I’ve ever made! Now my girls are 19 and 17.

Was good to pick healthy habits also find a new playground and new friends to play with

You are such a resilient and optimistic person, James. Despite your lengthy single parent period, you came a long way, turned things around and raised Annie up well. For many other people including myself, we struggled coming to acceptance of setback... As many average background asian migrants living in western countries, gambling addiction and its financial ruins are by far the top trap...

Great video James; very open & honest - plus completely understand the parts you didn’t disclose. The sort of video I need to be watching actually as been in that dip this year and trying to pull myself out of it … had a health & fitness wake-up in 2010 myself so agree it works great, just can’t seem to kick start it this time around🤞😎 Take care man 😎👍🏻🙏

Mate I just watch this video and it was exactly what I needed I really enjoy all your stuff but I’m at our house in Surat Thani at the moment on holidays and we’re moving here from Australia in January and although I’ve have been visiting Thailand since 1996 I’m beginning to see exactly what your talking about with the cycle of things and although many of the things you said like not drinking to much and exercise I’ve thought to myself already your experience has really given me an insight into what can happen thanks mate .there are plenty of people on here who have been here 5 minutes and know everything but it’s really helpful to get some input from someone with real experience thanks again

Bless you James, thank you..

Thanks for sharing, good to know ups and downs in life too. It must have been tough to take care of your daughter alone in a foreign country at the time. Glad that you got over the dip and things are well now. Always happily surprised that you mentioned Finland or Finlandia, although in a less desirable context this time. All the best mate!

One of my preferred YT channels about Thailand, thanks for your candour and sharing your personal experience. We have just had 2 weeks back in Thailand and I wasn't feeling it this time. Makes sense what you said about having a strong interest or hobby and getting exercise.

If your videos have taught me anything it's no matter how bad things are you could be just moments away from discovering a magnificent Thai restroom... Good to learn a bit more about you and that you got through it. Too many expats spend decades in their addictions hating everything around them until they are no more. I've got a content idea for you... let's face it Bob is a significant cast member of this channel and he has gone through alot of growth himself.. even branching out and turning over a new leaf. What about a sit down interview with him so we can learn more about this quiet gentleman...

Highly self aware well done🍀

Thanks for your honesty James! I learnt 30 years ago, maybe more, to stay away from the hard stuff! Love a beer, always have but when enough is enough is much easier to grab water than if you have the hard liquor taste! Still in limbo at this time with my permanent relocation to Thailand, wife is very keen to get home but keeps finding roadblocks to delay so I will let her continue until she seems happy to go for it! Thanks James, best of health and luck for the family!

Thanks for sharing your story, James! From now on when I see Annie in a video, I'm going to see her as a little girl celebrating "Moddy Day!" I actually made a video 2 weeks ago on this topic about needing to get out, find hobbies, and make friends.

As have others, no doubt, I had been waiting for this video. Exercise is transformative in many ways. Yes, this is a great video. However, I had thought, when listening to your last installment of the story, that you had intimated that you would be covering your separation during a number of years. It is stories such as these that cause us to realize that we are not unique in our struggles as we proceed through life. You might reconsider and continue on to write about this other major challenge which you faced. Most guys would empathize and benefit, absolutely. Your story of the old farang complainers reminds me why I rarely interact with farang here in Thailand. Farang in Thailand seem to be quite different from the "average" farang in their home countries. Exercise and goals are not popular with many farang retirees, it seems. And, exercise and goals are crucial for a better life. Hopefully, you will reconsider and write more about your challenges during the years 2010 through 2019. A short book would be worth considering, and you are a good communicator of your life experiences.

James, your videos are great. This one, in my opinion, is your best. You have put great thought into producing this and any man with a Thai wife or partner will gain much from following your journey. By sharing your life and stories, hopefully you will help many others. Well done on the 'sole parenting'. It looks like you have done an A1 job with Annie!

Thank you for your candour James, I feel that being apart for the thing that has affected my relationship, glad she is here in Australia now, starting over again and all of us learning to live with each other. I dream of one day In the future of moving back to Thailand and I couldn’t agree with you more about learning the language, I watch other channels and I can’t understand the Les Patersons of the world living in Thailand and bashing the country and also their ego’s towards Thai woman. When I moved from New Zealand to Australia almost 17 years ago now at first I was Aussie bashing until I realised how much better off I was here than in NZ and when I first arrived I’d be hitting the bottle hard, I guess it 2as as a defence mechanism. Still know a kiwi who’s lived here just longer than me, who would sit their and bag out Aussies out all these years later and you could see the Aussies getting their backs up within rights, end of the day of your not happy in you own country and your own skin, your never going to be happy regardless of the country you decide to move and live in, I’m glad I realise that and when Im eventually living the good life in Thailand and if can put my own lived experiences and other peoples like your experiences living there, I’m hoping it will settle me in with out to much grief as I have seriously never felt more at home in my wife’s village than anywhere in the world.

Awesome honesty mate . I was born in Britain and lived there until my early 20s i moved to the US and had similar problems, loved it at first and then hated it and started yank bashing …. Id sought out other Brits to hang out with and reminisce about home ….. well that stopped about 12 years ago and i couldn’t be happier ! You have to let go of ‘home’ and start to accept your new home .

Awesome mate, good video👍

Thx for your sharing from your experienced when you lived in this country.👌👌👌👍👍👍🙏👏✌✌

Great video James. Not easy to avoid them; there are a lot of Les Pattersons and Mr Creosotes in Thailand. Unlike you and many others, I didn't meet my Thai wife in Thailand but we definitely had our issues early on. When I met her I had already had many unhappy years, had hit rock bottom and would probably have drank and smoked myself to death pretty soon without her. Nowadays, I am so thankful for Thailand and like you, I feel so at ease living there. When we are back in Sweden for a few months I always feel far less so and much more stressed. If the Les Pattersons and Mr Creosotes only tried to keep an open mind, tried to embrace the local language and culture, and kept off the booze for the mostpart, I am sure a lot more of them would enjoy Thailand too 👍🙏

I appreciate your honesty and humility in your videos, especially this one. Much respect. I've been to Thailand a couple times and will be coming there regularly, several times a year. I'm trying to avoid marriage and all the drama with it, and prefer just having a gf. But if the right one comes along, I'll consider marriage. I don't smoke, drink or do drugs, so I won't have those issues, and will be seeking out hobbies and interests to help keep me occupied and productive. Physical fitness looks to be important. I will be seeking out a gym to work out when I am there. Thanks again for your candor.

Keeping active but not over active cause that can be bad to much like an addiction.

When I first met my wife , her parents were totally against her seeing me. I was actually driven to the airport after the father in law brought me a ticket and told I would be shot if I came back . 20 years later we have a son and lots of memories of years living in Thailand.

Well done you James You’ve done an amazing job with Annie all through your ups and downs Hope things are going well with your wife My very best Khun perry 🙏🏼

Thank you James for sharing your life experiences and lessons with us. Thai relationships run much deeper than those in the West and in the end teach us to be better versions of ourselves.

many years married my Indonesian wife in 1998. We have both experienced very similar times. My children are grown and now back in the Uk. It’s been difficult at times, but we are both survivors. Thanks again for sharing

Great one James. I had my moment years ago when I got divorced, Damn near went under. Now, a completely different person and with Yisa we are looking forward to the move to Thailand in 2024. When we were there for a month last xmas, I kept seeing the same guys in the same bars day after day just boozing their lives away. Talk about groundhog day !

Hi James , very honest & frank video , appreciate it mate . Been in Thailand 5 years now & my experience is that to get the full benefit of living here you must remain self disciplined everyday . Not easy as you have described .

Thanks James for your openness and honesty. I’m British and have been married for 24 years now. After backpacking in the early 90s for

Well done James I admire your honesty. There are lots there that I can personally relate to so well done and been a great father to Annie.

Nice honest vlog. Keep well.

thank you for your open , honest video. I know here in the States, it is almost impossible for a dad to gain sole custody of a child. Back in 1983 during my 4th year at University i volunteered for Legal Aid. Legal help for low income people. I volunteered for 1 year in NYC. The only times i saw this happen was either the mom was a severe drug addict, extremely violent towards the child or has serious mental issues that needed her to be institutionalized. I don't know how things are in Thailand regarding the law, but since it is a very very traditional, pro-family, pro mother country, i can only imagine it would be almost impossible if not impossible for a foreign husband to gain custody of a Thai child. I truly hope none of the above applied to your circumstance. I wondered why in your past vlogs you mentioned you and Annie going on trips together, solo in the past, without mom. and now you're going to explore BKK with Annie. Why not with the missus? If you didn't bring the "sole custody" thing up , i won't dare ask since it's non of my business but you bring this up yourself. Some things are better not talked about to strangers, especially strangers on RU-vid. I hope one day we can see you , Annie and her mom all together for at least one video.. having fun together. Be well and thank you again.

Very brave of you to share this and I mean that it is helpful particularly to expats like myself who struggle with the culture shock and all the associated pluses and minuses of living in the KOT. Well done and glad to see that you're doing well. Cheers.

Respect. You are spot on everything in this video, the two Muppet characters are all over the world, and we should look at them and say: Do I want to be like them? Cheers from north west Non Sand.

Thanks for sharing. Glad you are doing better. Exercising, having a routine, getting to know others and pouring energy into helping others all are great. Cute daughter. She will appreciate your turnaround and example!

Nice one James. I’m just embarking on my retirement here in Isaan so it’s good to hear your humble story. Easy to understand how anyone can fall into the traps of boredom and mixing with wrong people. Over the number of years visiting I’ve come across a lot of negative Normans who chose to live hear and do nothing but complain. These types will drag anyone down. I’m going to make a big effort with the language. I believe that may be the key to opening up a lot of opportunities. Well done again for the strides you have made, and seeing the success of your daughter going to uni must make you feel very proud for all the positive changes you made. Glad to see your life in Thailand now in a good place.

Watched this on “The Big Screen” and wanted to comment. I watch many “Farang” you tubers life adventures on RU-vid. Mostly married couples who moved to Thailand to retire. For the most part the content of those videos revolve around driving to and from places and eating and drinking. Not much useful content so to speak, but good to how others do it... I enjoy your videos as they show the reality of an “expat” experience in Thailand and go a bit deep with more than just generic or the expected information. Your “candidness” really hits home. I have been married to my Thai wife and her family for 7 years now. I lived in Thailand for a year and worked as an engineer. Contract up, back stateside to regroup and get my wife USA citizenship. Previously I lived in Mexico and figured out the hard way what you described in videos with similar results. Your message or at least your videos should be required viewing for those westerners thinking about moving to Thailand or any Asian culture for that matter as most are contrary(opposite for the most part) to their own life’s experience. Keep grinding out those videos and I will continue to thumbs up. Though the ford commercials get a bit old lol. I can relate to the college videos. Our son is 3rd year engineering student in Bangkok. Peace out and avoid the wacky tabacky... yet another hole to dig yourself out of

A very honest and interesting account of your life and times in Thailand thus far James but you now seem to have a good life and lovely daughter well done mate take care stay safe

Thanks James good insight to Thai life. I feel that way sometimes had a couple of foreign friends one from the UK another dutch/German they to had there own problems both moved to Pattaya use to swimming with them before. I used to walk 5/10 miles a day in the UK with my dog can't walk 500 yards here with out being confronted by village dogs. Village life is fine can't work I the garden or plot of land firmireyhan an hour the heat wipes out have tried to learn Thai but I must be thick could do with a local school as all the thais around want yo chat but no English I do miss a chat I am rambling stay safe

Brilliant well done you

Great credit to you for being able to discuss your demons and whether you live in Thailand or anywhere else in the world you are amongst many others with similar stories. Your view on life going forward will be much better or like President Nixon said after Watergate “You have to have been in the deepest valley to be able to appreciate the view from the top of the hill”. Keep it up 👍. Best wishes from Geordieland.

Thanks for your honesty and willingness to be vulnerable. It really does speak to the strength of your character. It is so hard to imagine you in that phase and if it wasn't for the photos I would have struggled to believe it.

Well done James going through the same problems as you at the moment but feel more confident listening to your experiences many thanks for sharing.

wow 9 years as a single father in a foreign country. must have been difficult. glad your wife is back.

Thanks for sharing James, no judgements...a very honest and candid description of the many issues and pitfalls that can easily take over...kudos to you

Great reflections on your life experience James. Thank you for sharing. All the best. Mitch 🙏

Thanks for sharing. I was deeply entrenched in Thailand many years ago and can absolutely relate to what our minds go through when the honeymoon with Thailand itself and relationships with female interests start to wane. I never settled down over there, at least not yet, but will use your advice when or if I do. Thanks again.

Hi James, great video. If you ever feel like having a talk or a beer just let me know. I don't think I'm like Klaus and Herman.

Hallo James. Happily married 10 years already with a Thai lady and leaving in Mediterranean island. I think you must make a video about the debt situation in Thailand. It seems that the most people we know back in Thailand are leaving over their capabilities and they continuously asking money from eachother. Borrowing money from someone to pay back someone else. Debt to bank debt to car company friends family exc. Debt to loan shark and repay them using other loan shark exc. I am 49 and I leave in a country that had 10 years financial problems and -30% fall in GDP but nobody asked me ever to lend him money in my life....and in Thailand everyone is in debt and borrowing money from eachother....it is bad and it is getting more bad year after year

Thanks for sharing your story James. Your advice are definitely very positive words to live by. I’m 2 years out from moving to Thailand with a Thai wife and 2 young kids. Hoping I can avoid some of the negative issues in Thailand, which you point out are mostly self inflicted. It’s good to see that you could pull yourself out of the bad times and behaviors and that you are doing well. Best of luck. I enjoy your videos!

Great subject James. No doubt it's not all puppies and unicorns when you move to another country and another culture. I think the proof that you got things right is with your lovely daughter, and what a mature young lady she is. I'm going to retire next year, and move to the Philippines. Your guidance on what to avoid, and what to do seems spot on. I plan to keep active both mentally and physically once I settle in. Luckily I got most of my drinking out of my system back in my 20's, so now it takes me a month to finish a six pack of beer, versus an hour back in the day.

Thanks for a great video. Finlandia is pretty expensive, but better that Absolut. All the best, James.

james - your a proud and top fella to open up - and be so intimate - been so honest is hard but should be normality. Thanks for been real

Excellent video James. Appears you did the full circle but great to know you came out of it and loving life again :-) It would always be my greatest fear of moving to and retiring in Thailand of falling into worse habits than I have now just out of pure boredom. Keeping myself active and busy would be most difficult as both hips are shot now (too much rugby in my younger days), so I thought about riding a bike, but those soi dogs pop up out of nowhere and that is terrifying.

Good man James, thanx for sharing, only watching your videos for the last couple of months, I would never have guessed you'd have gone through something like that. Good to see you coming out the other side in one piece. One thing that is clear in all the videos, is wot a fantastic relationship you have with your daughter & now watching today, I take my hat off to you, bringing up a child on ya own, in a foreign country , fair play to ya 👏

Good video to make James and appreciate your openness with stuff, we have just finished our house and I’m experiencing some of the issues you touched on, I’m not a big beer drinker and never have been, I’m happy to have a beer or two on the weekend and not touch it during the week. Great advice there though and I’m sure many people myself included will find it useful, don’t stop the videos James I know you are busy right now but I do enjoy when you post, even seeing you going out and about it’s interesting

Very Good James! Glad to hear all of this & I agree 101% I went thru much of the same. I use to say I was Thaiurd because I got so tired of the things we initially get tired of there. But like you I realized I needed to get back to Cycling & swimming & that helps as did going to a Uni & learning to read & write Thai. I never had any problems thankfully with my wife but am sure eventually it would have been. So good on you & glad you came out the other side & with your lovely daughter it was a very good reason to do better! Good on you!

Your so honest when you tell the story about your problems in Thailand. The booze, relationship, i had my moments with both of them. This is like a "school for farangs i Thailand". I wish my english where better so i could tell you how good this video. is. Take care and hope to see more from your life in Thailand.

Great video James, totally understand, different circumstances but I had a similar situation, but all good now for sure, stay safe mate

Respect for sharing this story! I will remember the 6 rules 555

That was a very sweet redemption story. Thanks for sharing!

I’m glad to hear you got your life sorted. I’m sure it was a difficult transition for you back then with a daughter and new wife. Specifically in Tak being a pretty small town with few westerners. I’m trying to learn Thai now and it’s pretty difficult even with weekly lessons but hopefully I’ll get it. Living in Tak full time hasn’t been to hard so far. Even though I rarely se another westerner around. I’ve got my wife and her family here who I’ve known for 17 years so that makes it a bit easier. Thanks for telling your story it’s insightful to hear about your journey.

interesting to hear about your experiences. Working out and keep away from the grumpy old men is the best advice i have now going on my 6th year here in Thailand. Enjoy your weekend.

Good to hear you are on the right side of things. I enjoy listening to you especially knowing that it hasn't been easy all the time. Stay in touch and I hope we get a chance to share a beer one of these days.

Just found your channel, subscribed, will start watching from the beginning, lovely to watch a normal person doing normal videos from Thailand that my wife and I can watch, without all those creepy men going on about pattaya and bar girls etc.

James, this is by far the best "Living in Thailand video" I have watched, and I have watched a lot of them. Thank you for your honesty and sage advice. I hope to meet you on my next visit and shout you lunch. Cheers mate Barry

Great video James.. Glad everything worked out for you.. You did a excellent job in raising your daughter she a credit to you.. Respect to you

So great to be Happy!! My story is quite similar!! Only here in USA!! Coming soon to Thailand for a much needed adventure!! ThNks James. Be well!!

Brilliant thanks James 🍻🙏

Impressive chat - life is a journey - you seem centred now and totally understand your life 👍

This is a great video, it adds a lot of perspective to my previous relationship with a Thai woman and I thank you for your honesty and candor.

Thanks for your advice. Just about to make the move to Thailand and I'm glad your advice lines up with some of the priorities I have made for myself. Thanks!

I appreciate the honest account of that side of your life James, it's very helpful to hear. Your videos are a kind of fresh air blowing in from the East - I'm looking forward to my Thailand trip (coming soon). All the best to you and yours!

Good stuff bro….and good on ya for surviving Thailand 🇹🇭 Welcome to the next chapter….

Very good post. I appreciate your honesty. You and Annie seem to come through the journey in good shape. I think the secret to happiness is lowered expectations. 😉

Good man James good man

Hi again James. I just watch some videos here from Thailand Bound i.e. vol 157. Your Thai experience stories are heaven compared to what I heard on that channel. Have you watched them before and can reflect your experiences at all with them?

Thank you. i have thai gf. i hope to live with my girlfriend soon. i am not caucasian. but we do have our problems. and i have mine too. watching your video, as you do a recap of your life. things get better over time. your channel still my favourite. among all thai related channels, i always come back to your channels to see updates. whatever videos you do, i am always interested. Thanks for sharing James.

Nobody said that life’s path would be easy we all make mistakes while on our own journey sometimes we walk at times we stumble drink related or not and at times we skip , hardest thing to do in life one thinks is the ability to take a step back from oneself to see outside in rather than inside out , if you can see a smile in the mirror at the end of the day you are still on the correct path.

Excellent video mate….spot on.

Great video James! I really enjoyed the series. Im glad things are working out for you now. 👍

Thanks for sharing this mate, your story is eye opening 👍🏼 glad your doing well. Keep the vids coming, you've certainly experienced more in life than half of us have! Thank you for sharing your story 🙏👍🏼

Great vlog James, I totally understand your ups and downs living in Thailand, personally my struggles are living remotely and being a very sociable guy and needing friendships and the only way I get this is when I go back to the UK to work for a few months every year, I just hope a decent chap like yourself moves into the same village🤣

I see alcohol as a treat nothing more or if me and my wife have friends round to a thai bbq

Hi James Very honest vlog, I think we all have initial issues with Thai culture language, building the house , misunderstandings etc etc I know I did . Two cultures clashing really, but same as yourself ,slowly taking a step back and learning to accept things hear as they are , because we cannot change the Thai culture, but try to understand and accept it. Nice one.

Excellent video, thanks for posting. I had somewhat similar experiences (particularly with street food) l put on around 18kg with the help of sticky rice and chicken, and all,types of alcohol. Since the start of this year -2022- l have lost most of the weight and have taken up cycling, l know this is a dangerous sport here considering driving habits of some, but l have a safe location to ride and all is well. I have found exercise is a big boost to my mental and physical well being, but at age 60 l need to remind myself to not push it to hard. I have also,given up,drinking for the most part apart from special occasions. My advice for what it’s worth is to try and stay away from the bars although this is very easy for me as there are no Western type bars in my area. Anyway keep the videos coming and thanks for posting.

Love to hear your story

Thank you