Probably the most difficult thing for me to wrap my head around, was that this was going to take a long time to overcome. My desire to fix it asap, was actually hurting me, because I would react. Once I was able to accept that this would take time, I was able to form a plan and stick to it.
My daughters are in their 30’s and are still practicing alienating me. My aunt I have discovered is the one that has encouraged and reinforced through the years. I’ve only realized this recently. I’ve decided to accept it and am starting to build my own life now. That’s all I can do.
Love the idea...but not so good for those of us where it's real alienation and we don't see our children...what do we do then? Like when completely cut out and have been for years... so the alienator has won completely...When theres no contact...theres no chance....
what a wonderful gift. What a good way to look at it. Optimism is often the biggest struggle as a targeted parent.. you have gifted optimism to us. Thanks so much.
It is like Ronald Reagan said, "There he goes again!" Correct you are! We were married to these people so at first it is unimaginable they could do these dastardly things to us, their partners & co-creators of their children. Just as you are not surprised that dogs bark and lions roar, Narcissists have a set list of actions and set plays which they employ. Once we accept who your former spouse really is as a person, you will be far less surprised and just say, "there they go again!"
I'm a success story and it took me over 10 years to learn this. You guys have the best advice that I have come across on this topic. So much of this I had to learn the hard way. And I'm not sure that I would have believed what you were saying was true or would have understood it like I do now all these years later.... All of the advice you guys give is hard to accept and understand when you're at the start of this.
@@aparsons6495 don’t give up hope. I never gave up. Texted my son for 17 years and one day he wanted to meet. He thanked me for never giving up. I know it difficult but I hope my story gives you some hope. Ryan Thomas really helped understand how the alienator works.
