👀If you haven't seen my most recent expose on this insane health scam - check it out here!👀 ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-V0xC-vs407c.html
IMHO you have to self analyze in order to improve, understand that you make mistakes, move on from the shame and change your behavior. I wish I would have learned these lessons earlier in my life but it is what it is. I teach these skills to my teenage daughter every chance I get. I went from 240lbs to 172lbs with 40 percent bodyfat to 20 percent bodyfat (Male). I am currently making the move to 15 percent bodyfat and I will be successful. This isn't the only area of my life that I cleaned up. Age 47. I love your videos, they are inspiring. People underestimate the power of the human psyche.
Forgive but don't forget. We need to forgive our shortcomings when they happen, but remember our patterns so that we can strategize ways to change them.
I just think she needs more pride. Even disciplined people who criticize themselves acknowledge their achievements when setting a goal. The girl in the video never noted any positive highlights and when she would, she made herself incapable of feeling happy about it by instantly being negative. Instead of "wow! I hit my goal, if I can do it to this level, who knows how far ill go" it would be "wow ! I hit my goal, I'm definitely going to fail again" She has no pride in herself and thus can never enjoy her achievements
It's probably cause she didn't have any friends and the only way she could get her thoughts out was through the internet instead keeping it bottled up inside her.
@@hydrohyperdrive8443 I have a journal for that 😉 I’m really not sure how the combination of sm which is often toxic and mental health could benefit from that
@@LiquidShivaz journaling is a great way to get your thoughts out there even if it's just for yourself to read but I think the main reason a lot of people pick up a camera nowadays is for the community that comes with it. You can get tips and maybe even encouragement in the comments and find people like you. Even if it has become toxic now it probably seemed like a good idea at the beginning
It is best to analyse yourself rather than criticise. When we analyse ourselves we are trying to understand and solve our problems in an objective way, but when we criticise ourselves we are only looking at our faults and become deeply emotional which actually lowers the ability to think clearly.
I dislike the fact that modern Psychology has equated self criticism to be negative. If you want to do an objective analysis of yourself( in accordance with your goals), you have to note the negatives. How will you improve or solve your problems if you can't even criticize the bad, or note that there is a problem in the first place? I agree that one should be objective, but criticism shouldn't be separated from analysis. You should be able to acknowledge the good things and the bad things if you're being objective. The girl in the video was never objective in any way. She never noted any achievement she made or had any pride in the effort she put.
@@olawaleadegboyega4847 THANK YOU! Self criticism is destructive until you start criticizing your criticism. All of a sudden it turns to Realization and Self Analysis.
I think a huge problem within this whole self care trend is that they make it seem thats its only stuff that you like doing and have no uncomfortable feelings doing. Basically making it completely self indulgent, if you know anything about proper self-care there’s always going to be aspects of it and certain activities you’re going to find annoying or painful to do. But that will pay off later in the long term.
I never thought about it like that, but that’s so true! I never realized how self care often presents itself within those aspects and not enough on the more difficult experiences that are just as important.
@@netiii exactly. As a recovering addict of over 10 years, this rings so incredibly true. I've had to go through alot of ridiculously painful fixing before I could even attempt anything that was 100% positive. It's like breaking your foot, and putting on high heels as soon as you take the cast off. Misinterpreting self care is like the new toxic positivity in a way. I hope any of that made sense lol.
Oh boy just listening to her makes me depressed, so she must feel like this 24/7. She should consult a therapist at this point and stop comparing herself to others.
Ahhh so that was the thing that just turned me off from her. Her videos are beautifully written and I loved the flow; but there was just sadness in everything she said. Beautiful words, but depressive messages.
She wasn't hating herself in her latest video, she was pushing herself to be her best, and succeeded in the end. I'd say that is true self love, it's self respect. Respecting yourself enough to change the situation and state you're currently in. Read the book Can't Hurt Me, you just might have a flip in perspective.
The way I changed my self talk is imagining I'm talking to a little kid. As someone who got screamed as a kid I would never want to do that to another child. My mom said "I did it so you'll be stronger" but my crippling OCD and therapy bill would argue otherwise.
I'm sorry about that. Glad you're talking to yourself differently! I was taught in a sort of baby club for newborns and their parents two years ago, that how we speak to our children becomes their inner voice and how they will continue to talk to themselves - it made so much sense since I was overly critical of myself and could never celebrate any of my accomplishments (i've only now as a 30 year old heard my mom say to me out loud that she's proud of me). I want my own daughter to grow up believing in herself, so i'm extra aware how i speak to her and to be encouraging.
The way Alivia talks to herself is how I spoke to myself during the worst of my AN and Jesus I think she needs to work with a therapist privately. Her trainer was giving her unhealthy advice imo and she didn’t seem to work much on the emotional issues behind binge eating. I feel like putting it on the internet influences young people to think that what she experienced and did was healthy, I know I would think so when I was younger.
@@lilreena8619 she debunked that, I do hope she sees a therapist though. But she never said she didn’t believe in them, she even got sponsored by BetterHelp for a video, she just didn’t do it for herself.
Ive come across Alivia before as well and felt quite uncomfortable about her videos as well. I'm extremely good at self criticism as well, but my issue w. her conttent is that 1. her qlow up is focused solely on losing weight and 2. her goals are so unrealistic she is doomed to fail and since she only allows herself to love herself when she's "perfect", it one long vicious cycle
I'm worried that she'll never reach her goals, because there will always be something shes going to criticize about herself. She wont know when to stop.
Alivia doesn’t seem to have a good support system - her family contributes to her negative body image and she doesn't want to see a therapist. What makes her happy is to look pretty and skinny, just all around perfect according to her standards. In one of her videos that she made after her weight loss, she says that she has a healthier relationship with food now and I don’t buy that one bit. If she doesn't reach out to professional help then she's gonna spiral into depression and self-criticism again when she gains weight and doesn't feel pretty anymore.
I think my friend said it best when she told me you can't hate yourself into a change (she's lost the amount of weight I'm trying to lose and is quite the inspiration for me). She said once she decided to get healthier because she wanted to be kind to herself, and not skinny so she's stop hating herself, she started making progress
THIS!!!! after my ed ~recovery~ (i’d had an ED since i was 13 and i’m now in my late 20s) i’ve gained about 50 kg and ended up in the obese category. so obviously i went right back to my behaviours but now my brain didn’t want that shit anymore so i would consistently binge and out on even MORE weight. once i stopped hating on myself for having had disordered eating and recovering from it into *this* and actually concentrated on getting healthy, oh e started being more consistent with good food choices, as well as happy overall. in losing the weight slowly but there are no steps back that happened when i restricted/binged
This! I would self-criticize myself as well, similar to what she does and end up binge eating. I eventually lost the weight I wanted (not in the healthiest of ways) and I was so miserable although I was at my lowest weight. I was still unhappy with my body composition and I thought restricting food was the solution. Anyway, reached my lowest mentally\physically and decided to pick my poor little self up and said enough! I needed to change so I decided to be kind to myself and treat my mind/body with love because I deserved it. Now I eat a balanced healthy diet because I enjoy it (I love how healthy foods make me feel so energetic) and indulge into my cravings in moderation. I go to the gym and lifting completely changed my mind as well. I don’t care about how my body looks as much as I care about what it can do. The strength I’ve gained both mentally/physically in the last few months makes me so proud of myself. And as a bonus: my body looks banging now 😂
I did the same, I had a bulimarexia before for over 2 years and after my recovery I stopped focusing on wanting to be skinny and self criticism and started to improve my mental health and eating healthy and I'm really in a good state now and I lose weight without my bingeing-restricting cycle but in a healthy way!
i’m still in shock how she literally recorded herself following proana rules, binged herself away multiple times on camera, and then turned around and tried invalidating EDs to just “not having proper willpower” and not believing in psychological help.
I think I have “proana” rules and it actually helped my binge eating when I followed them... :) and she didn’t invalidate other people’s Ed’s (at least in my eyes) she explained in her other video that she was talking about HERSELF. The reason SHE couldn’t stick to a diet or be healthy was because it was too hard to do, because she wasn’t strong enough to commit to it. And there is no shame in that. That’s why people don’t lose weight when they need to lose weight, I have to put this harshly I’m sorry but it’s because they have a weak mind. I can use my mother as an example, everyday she uses discipline to finish all the tasks she needs to finish everyday, and so when the new task of weight loss was added, she DID it. And she had enough of the proper discipline to follow through on it, for months until she reached a weight she was satisfied with. Me on the other hand? I barely used willpower or displine, I only did what I wanted and never forced myself to do good things (like wash my dishes after eating) and so when dieting came, I couldn’t stick to it. I didn’t have the mental willpower to do so. And I still don’t, I have a long way to go before I can trust myself with a “diet” because my trust in myself isn’t high. Do you understand how all of this is connected?
her way of thinking is a result of her own self hatred. she punishes herself because she thinks she's "failing" or "not trying hard enough." she doesn't even consider that she needs external help. while that doesnt excuse her way of thinking about EDs, i think its worth knowing that it stems from internalized issues.
I would just not word it in a way that perpetuates her self loathing, shaming behavior by telling her what she is doing is wrong and bad and that makes her wrong and bad. She's already overly self shaming. I would just say she needs to lighten up on herself alot and learn to be critical without shaming yourself for the past and other slip ups so hard.
It's scary how many young women look up to her when her content is sooo unhealthy. I really do hope she seeks help because she really seems to be suffering from disordered eating or some kind of anxiety related to food/body image.
well apparently she doesn’t “believe” in therapy (she later said, “only when it comes to myself!” but like…ok mate) so i don’t think she will see a therapist any time soon
i used to watch her in 2017 (i was 11), in her ‘get fit for summer’ era. i never wanted to lose weight until that happened. i started counting calories after that (that was consuming less than 900 cals a day). i almost drove myself into an eating disorder and i still have a shitty relationship with food
Me, with an ED and extremely self critical and so on at the stat of how many people with ED suffer with a critical inner voice "yeah, duh". Me learning that most people dont have that voice. "WHAT!?!?? 71% OF PEOPLE DON'T?"
What 71% don't I thought the majority did. I have struggled with anorexia and now binge eating. I'm a 28 year old mum of two and I still have this voice massively.
Those girls better turn off social media, eat less refined carbs eat overall healthy, exercize alot and live more in the real world and talk to other people.... also they need therapy.
I feel like a lot of us were taught this self-critical view by our family. It really sucks. I was taught that the solution for every problem is being harsher to myself. My parents, even after explaining, refuse to give that theory up.
I think its a mix of our environment and to some extent the time period we grew up in, plus the parents that instill some of our mental behaviors... there is research that indicates those with standards so high they overly criticize themselves are higher IQ typically, and overall more depressed than most.
So well put!! Great video! Fantastic advice!! I agree with everything Kiana said. I think there has been a lot of misunderstanding circulating around the internet about my videos and I have not responded to any of them until now. My message below is not in response to Kiana’s video but the other videos. In the beginning I did negatively criticize myself a lot (I didn’t even realize I was doing it) and this probably worsened my binges like Kiana pointed out. At the end of the video I called myself “weak” and “lazy”. This wasn’t meant to tear me down rather speak some truth to myself. I had to be honest with myself that I was being lazy at times with my life. I also think the word “weak” is generally viewed with a negative connotation. To me, being weak was not a bad thing. Being weak meant I had the ability to get really strong because the strongest people were also once the weakest. It’s all about perspective. After calling myself out, that’s when my glow up journey began and that’s when the video ended so no one saw what happened after. Let me tell you what I did after to finally succeed and reach my goals. I finally saw and believed in my own value and the game changed. I saw my own value at the start of my weight loss journey in April 2020 when I was at my heaviest. Society says “exercise, be healthy and then your value will be raised” but I thought why can’t I see myself as a winner from day 1? You must see yourself as a winner to act like a winner. So from then on I committed to seeing myself as pure gold despite my messy past✨ If you see yourself as dirt you will be comfortable having crappy behavior. If you see yourself as gold you won’t be comfortable with crappy behavior because gold doesn’t act like crap. The misunderstanding from the internet is what led me to stop posting the rest of the episodes for the original glow up diaries season 2. My time off these past few months from RU-vid has given me a lot of time to reflect and made me decide to remake Glow up diaries Season 2. I’m sure people can now see the clarity in messaging shine through in the revised glow up diaries season 2 that is now up on my channel ❤️✨
Hi Alivia, I’ve noticed that you tend to defend yourself a lot or you try to explain everyone your thoughts etc. I totally get that it is frustrating that lots of people didn’t really get the message you were trying to share in your recent videos, but I feel like this must be so draining, no matter what, its not possible to explain to everyone. You did your best with the videos, thats enough, you don’t need to comment on every assumption about you, you sure have done mistakes, which wont be undone by 10 paragraphs anyway, you have to accept it, the videos WERE problematic, just because you dont think so, doesn't mean they weren't... but regardless we know your intentions were always good and i respect you and I really admire your honesty, even though I personally don’t vibe with the new season, because it was triggering for me. It’s ok, just chill, you did your best
@@Ohno724 yeah. People would always have different opinions. When you put yourself out internet for people to watch, you are gonna get critised/dicussed no matter what. Sometime it's bad and sometime it's not. She is lucky that there is no haters here, I am afraid that if she tried to defend herself everytime when people discuss her, she would get harassed by trolls.
I told my boyfriend recently that it doesn't matter how mean someone is to me because they'll never say anything worse than what I've said to myself. That really opened my eyes to how awful I really am to myself.
It's so real. I made a mistake in a friendship and even though they forgave me I literally spiraled in a fetal position telling myself I don't deserve any friends and to spare others I should just be alone. It's pretty rough out here sometimes 😐
Finally a video on her. I have some really conflicting feelings about her whole glow-up series and her views on toughness. I remember a time when I thought all I needed was to be tough and push through it and hated myself when I couldn't. I got diagnosed with depression and all of this talk present in husle culture didn't help at all.
Agreed. I have mixed feeling i think because i felt like her and i feel like i can understand the mindset shes in and i feel for her, but her content is also harmful because of her views. I dont know if shes influenced by family when it comes to reluctantly to get mental health help, and her chalking it up to “toughness” doesnt work for the majority of people. Im with you and recently got diagnosed. Through months of therapy before my diagnosis i realized i couldnt just stop being depressed. Luckily i had an amazing therapist who recognized that i was having recurring depressive episodes and therapy wasnt working as well as we hoped. She recommended i also start seeing a psychiatrist on top of therapy and ive seen small changes, but still changes.
@@isolatedfromeducation5491 Exactly. I don't like the idea of happiness being defined by the what and how much you do. I feel like that mindset will inevitably come crashing down on anyone, because no one can keep that up forever. And regarding the second part, been there, done that. I'm still having a hard time acknowledging that this illness does indeed have an impact on my life beyond my mood and feelings. I feel ashamed and disgusted by myself because I can't live up to that standard I've set for myself and "just" trying to do more had usually ended with me being unable to do anything after a while. I hope that your psychiatrist can help you. Medication gets a really bad rep, but at least for me it's definitely been working. Finding the right drug was a struggle though, so please don't be discouraged if something doesn't improve your condition or if the side effects are unbearable. It takes some trial and error. I hope your psychiatrist will take your concerns seriously, because mine didn't really listen to me when I told her numerous times that the side effects were unbearable. If that happens, maybe try to find someone else to work with. Also, I only realised how much my antidepressant has been doing for me when I stopped taking it for a while. I thought my motivation was too low on medication, it was basically nonexistent without it 😅.
She wasn't hating herself in her latest video, she was pushing herself to be her best, and succeeded in the end. I'd say that is true self love, it's self respect. Respecting yourself enough to change the situation and state you're currently in. Read the book Can't Hurt Me, you just might have a flip in perspective.
I've been overweight my whole life and I've been laughed at for my size. At school, my gym teacher would call me out in front of my classmates about my weight. My cousins would pull out the scale and made me go on it so that they could laugh at me. It was all very humiliating. In the past, I would try out many unhealthy diets to lose weight. I even starved myself and then binge eat when i got too hungry. At the end of it, i would beat myself up for failing. It was hell. So, I started going to the gym a few days ago thanks to the push of my mom and even began cooking for myself. Most of it were vegetables and chicken breasts. However, last night, my binge eating habits returned. I was greatly disappointed when I realised. But the me now is going through a change and I didn't want to be full of self-hatred like the me before. It's okay to fail but I'm going to be firmer with my resolve in the next try. I want to learn that I'm doing all this because I love myself.
I wish you the best and don't beat yourself up about a set back! I'm also my own worst critic but i'm currently in contact with a "health mentor" (it's a new 12 month program in my city i'm taking part in) and in mentoring me, the mentor spoke about set backs and how they are basically inevitable but how important it is to not give up after a set back. I'm trying to take that in and start being more considerate to myself, instead of beating myself up about things.
Wow, you're very strong to go through all that, not give up and keep fighting for change and success. That's horrible what they put you through and no-one should be subjected to such cruelty and humiliation. They are the ugly ones for that :( I wish you the best in your goals and life!!! What helps me is remembering that it's all a process, and setbacks and mistakes and difficulties/feeling like giving up sometimes are all meant to be part of that process. So you're not doing it wrong when old habits die hard and you slip up. It's literally inevitable. You're doing it wrong when you chastise & beat yourself up (basically your reaction to the slip up is what counts) and think that it's all failed and futile because of one mistake or bad few days. What matters is removing the emotional attachment to the action. So you pick yourself back up & continue back on your goals, while using the experience to learn about yourself, the journey and how to avoid or cope with it better next time. Hope that makes sense and helps!!😅
Don't beat yourself up for having your binge cravings return - they are not going to disappear overnight. It's something you have to deal with from time to time, and when they surface, remember to be kind to yourself. You are not your thoughts. You are so much more. I've come a long way since my overeating-shame-overexercising-shame cycle but I still have these impulses coming up now and then, and when they surface I try to keep having calming conversations with these thoughts and myself. Habits you've had for so long don't disappear just suddenly. It's a slow process to change your habits, your self-talk style and attitude, but it's so worth it. I'm wishing you the best
The cycle of anxiety/shame and seeking a behavior to sooth that feeling is so common in mental health conditions. For me I sleep during the day, binge watch tv/social media, and sometimes overeat
I do think it is a problem how people rear back in horror from the word "average". Most people ARE average; that's literally the definition of the word, haha. It's sad and damaging that so many of us treat the word as an insult.
Imo she wasn't even avg at least I'd I'm avg she isn't, i thought she has a rly btfl face, smooth skin and good legs Also TikTok promotes otherwordly beautiful people so i stay away to not fall into an ED and self hate even further lol
This has nothing to do with losing weight but I think that self-criticism is what destroys a lot of people. People like me that always want everything to happen like they planned and worked hard for. For everything to be perfect. Always overthinking. That's one of the reasons why others and me don't have self confidence. Self criticism over and over again. Each and every day. There is nothing wrong with reflecting your own behavior. But there is something that's "too much"
She wasn't hating herself in her latest video, she was pushing herself to be her best, and succeeded in the end. I'd say that is true self love, it's self respect. Respecting yourself enough to change the situation and state you're currently in. Read the book Can't Hurt Me, you just might have a flip in perspective.
It isn't about moderation, is how you do it. Having an objective awareness of your flaws and the desire to improve is a good thing, but hating yourself isn't. This is a self esteem issue, where people with low self esteem will be harsher to themselves (beat themselves up etc) whereas people with high self esteem will be more objective in their analysis of their flaws. The same applies with self praise, people with low self esteem will either over-praise themselves for minor achievements, or under-praise themselves for major achievements. It depends on their mentality. People with high self esteem tend to neither over or under praise themselves, as they have more awareness of the worth of any given achievement. Low self esteem is the underlying cause of almost every mental health issue that exists, and I would say is just as much of a health crisis as diabetes, heart disease, cancer etc. Especially when you consider that people with mental health issues tend to have worse physical health due to binge eating or substance abuse (drugs, alcohol etc).
I think the self criticism is bad when you don't have a good plan to change what you're criticizing yourself for. People who have EDs will self criticize but be completely ignorant about the right foods to eat and will starve themselves, which never works because when they can't starve themselves anymore they return to eating the same bad foods. But if you have a good meal plan and do meal preps and weigh your food, you can just get back on the meal plan and back on track if you decide to eat out a couple times in a row or something.
@@clutchboi4038 Depends on what the self criticism is for...if it is due to habits or stuff that can be changed behaviourally without chemical intervention then its useful
i used to like Alivia’s videos but only up until she said being poor is an advantage while she herself managed to reach her goal only because she moved to LA and got a celebrity coach (she said it herself when she was plugging his programme) after that i was just like. what. and then i couldn’t handle her hypocritical rants any longer 💁
@@cultusfetus yup. she said that in the video she’s posted after the celebrity coach one. IMAGINE lmao 😂 and then her fans started defending her being like “wELL SHE WAS BORN INTO WEALTH OF COURSE SHES OUT OF TOUCH” like lmao okay
@@daimhinaubrey3194 damn that screams rich kids syndrome.......thats annoying as hell 😭 im gonna be a hater here but no wonder she's beating herself up so much, she clearly doesnt know what a real struggle is
"People change when they feel good, not when they feel bad" - BJ Fogg, a behavioral scientist, in his book Tiny Habits. Highly recommend because it really focuses on making your habits enjoyable
This' so not true lmao. You grow when you embrace the suffering and get done whatever you need to get done. Don't believe me? Search up David Goggins, who came from nothing and so much suffering, to then accomplishing things no one had ever accomplished before him, mashaAllah.
She needs to tell her self Empowering words when you are telling your self words over and over again combined with belief and emotions programming your subconscious mind for failure, low confidence, self esteem ect ect what you say to yourself matters, you can deprogram your mind and give it new commands with affirmations
I can't even watch this, it's too triggering. I used to talk to myself this way and it hurts my heart that young women are going through this right now. You are all awesome and beautiful.
She wasn't hating herself in her latest video, she was pushing herself to be her best, and succeeded in the end. I'd say that is true self love, it's self respect. Respecting yourself enough to change the situation and state you're currently in. Read the book Can't Hurt Me, you just might have a flip in perspective.
In my opinion hyper critical people of themselves are like that because they judge themselves in assumption they are already being judged the same way by others. Its often extreme insecurity
The military helped me understand criticism vs critique. When the drill instructor yells at you, he's not criticizing you, he's critiquing your bad habits and mentality, stomp it out early and you'll never doubt yourself again on why or what you're doing. Trust me the first weeks the DI seems like a complete asshole, but near graduation when you've become efficient at what you do they become father figures. I think that every human needs to have some type of critique on why they want what they want. Weight loss should not be about "I'm a fat fuck I hate myself but I want abs" it should be "I am unhealthy because I put myself in this position and therefore need to change for better" if you CRITIQUE instead I guarantee you will change and keep those healthy habits.
completely agree, I love my parents for pushing me forward when I had no will to certain things. Now I can push myself on my own, but all thanks to them. Everyone needs someone to push them, and it's sad to see so many teens and adults with no selfesteem and motivation to do anything.
Alivia is in for a very steep slope towards depression if she continues being on the internet and social media. Baby girl needs to take a break from both. A long one. And look after herself away from it all.
I have learned to analyze myself, instead of criticizing myself, meaning that I'll look over my behaviors and reflect on how I can improve. I learned this technique from behavioral therapy.
Self criticism only works IF you can say "why do I feel this way" "what can I change?" And, critically "I forgive myself" If you can't reconcile past behaviour you'll be doomed to sabotage your future
I wrote some stuff and deleted it because I have no way of saying "her content makes me feel awful" without being judgemental and rude. So here is me judgemental and rude, but her videos need a huge trigger warning for eating disorders.
I recently went from below the poverty line to comfortably middle class literally over night (crypto lol) and it’s crazy how much kinder I am able to be with myself already. I was SO ashamed of myself because I had to work two really toxic jobs and I was used to being constantly disrespected. I was super persistent and basically asserted that I deserved my new job, so I got it. And now I look back at my pre-money, horrible job self and I feel a lot of love for her. She was just trying to survive!! I got my degree struggling with clinical depression and working two jobs. Fuck everyone who treated me like an outcast because I didn’t have the privilege to go to every party and take on every extra project like they could. I have the same kind of wealth as them now but I’m glad I don’t have the attitude. I’m just thrilled to buy the fancy cheese for once! 🤦🏻♀️😂
Any advice for getting crypto? I've always wanted to but it seems confusing and daunting. For wealthy people its all about reputation, it's cool that money didn't change you like it does most people.
Honestly her content is very triggering. The exact kind of self criticism that destroyed my self confidence. I hope she is aware that she has a large audience of young people.
But isn’t that that makes it realistic? I feel the same way and cycle in and out of self hatred and various cycles but I feel less alone knowing others are in the same situation.
I'm 14 years old and always struggled with my weight, i found her channel and looked up to her because i thought she was making her self a better person and getting a healthier life, i'm glad i found this video or i would've probably started follwing the same routine as her
Who is ready for a good old fashioned Kiana sucker punch to the gut? “We associate self-criticism with accountability, an honest evaluation of our efforts, self-discipline and holding ourselves up to our own standards. In some scenarios, being anything less than critical is the equivalent to being dishonest.”
I knew you are gonna make video about her, I haven't seen her video in a while. But last time i remember everyone was suggesting her to get professional help and be kind to herself. She hates her past self so much , that it makes me sad.
T.T Self criticism is something I do way too often as well.. It's a fascinating bitter truth to hear the effect it does to your mental state and how it relates to binge eating. Weight loss is as much as a self journey to heal your emotional self as well as your physical self..but it sure gets difficult to fix those emotional aspects that you've had and been familiar with for so long. Regardless though.....Love all your videos Kiana!
She has a poor psychological relationship with food. Usually results in a endless loop of over-indulgence and self-flagellation. She is really lacking moderation and governance in her life, its completely fine to have a little bit junk food on occasion while maintaining a balanced diet.
@@TheBellaLuna94 Check out Brain over Binge by Kathryn Hansen. Its a great book that provides a personal account, scientific perspective, and correlation/cause on BEDs.
Obese to beast made a video about her because she has some questionable content (the ad she made for this coach that was saying fake stuffs about sugar lvl)
Anyone else ecstatic to see Kiana back to moving her hands? Don't let other people define your worth, but also don't tear yourself down, it's a fine balance, like everything. You throw them signs girl! 😁
@Lady Wintergreen Take care of you, dear. 💕 It can feel good to clear your head and get some exercise or fresh air. No need to over do it! Watch the end of Kiana’s video again. 😉
It's not self criticism that's the issue, its the putting your self down that's the issue. Making yourself feel depressed over failures only demotivates you over the long term. You need to have positive belief that you have the ability to change and then apply neutral objective self criticism to determine where you're failing. The more positive and objective you can remain the more you'll achieve lasting success.
I just discovered that my self-criticism came from an udiagnosed ADHD. I am learning to be patient with myself and to understand when I need a pause and when I can keep going. ADHD goes undiagnosed in girls and women and makes us more prone to ED's. Being so harsh with me was the way I masked my symptoms. That' s how I spent my first 31 years of life. I will not spend the rest of my life being my worst critic, I'll keep learning about myself, my diagnosis and how I can make my life better :D.
The biggest enemy in life is you. Nothing new we all know that. You've got so much power in all directions. I've been in self destruction thinking for years - EVEN though I'm earning good money, I'm tall, handsome blabla but I hate society! The problem is always in your mind. Nobody can really help you - but you. I've found a way out of the dark with healthy eating and sports. It's a long slow process but my life gets brighter every day!
So I have had mild depression for over 2 years and I realize that working out would cure my depression. So I started a gym and my mood and overall diet has improved because I feel empowered instead of guilty and shamed. And yes my depression has gotten so much better I no longer feel the need to lay in my bed all day because I'm at the gym pumping iron. I even feel proud of myself and loving my body even if my weight is not there yet.
Not gonna lie, i talked to myself this way a while back. Got into therapy and learned how to properly talk to myself. I still have to work hard to be my biggest cheerleader. But it's worth it!
This girl has some seriously questionable content. As an older person, it makes me uneasy that young women think of her as a role model. Sad for her as well. She really needs to speak to someone.
I don't think her content is questionable. Her videos don't tell other people to be like her. She's documenting her journey and sharing it. People see her as a role model because she's very honest and doesn't sugar coat how she's actually feeling and the process it took to get her out of that bad mental state. It's more relatable and so people don't feel so bad about the problems they are in when see someone else suffer through the same. Just because her way of getting to her goals isn't always the best doesn't mean that she's not a good example. Her main intention is always to be a better you and that's what I mainly takeaway from her videos. Don't give up.
@@Missgirl7533 absolutely! I used to watch her old content but i missed a lot of videos and I was shocked when I watched the latest video...definitely pro-ana
Self compassion is the best way to go tbh, as well body appreciation. Pretty or not, my body is me, I am my body. My hands help me hold things, my legs walk me everywhere. I am grateful for them, so I take care of them the best I can as they took care of me. Same with my eyes, ears and internal organs. It helps me to learn to appreciate my body than to worry about its aesthetics.
Wtf I'm a textbook case of girl with an ED, due to this huge voice of self-criticism in me :( but at the same time, being more self-compassionate and the prospect that I have the power to overcome my failures creates so much anxiety. I can't win either way!!!
If she really feels this bad about herself, then I highly recommend psychotherapy. We all have moments of self doubt and anger towards our behavior, but going online to do this seems more destructive overall. Young girls are watching her and thinking this is ok behavior. She isn't even overweight or obese, I cannot imagine how she would act if she was. 🤦♀️🤦♀️
OK, as a therapist, a few clarifying points: Criticism or any type of punishment is only useful as a short term to STOP a behavior in a SINGLE moment. That's it. We need things like self-compassion, radical acceptance, and reinforcement of new behaviors and goals in order to build towards new things. 2) Shame is a NORMAL human emotion. You cannot get rid of shame. It is on the spectrum of what we experience as humans, and it was highly evolutionarily adaptive to prevent us from doing/saying/believing things that would get us kicked out of the group, which for our ancestors, would have meant death 3) The amount of shame that we actually need for self-correction is minimal. Like a little poke in the shoulder to be like "hey, remember your values and don't do that." That's where the work comes in. To understand what is coming up and being able to actually make the shame signal useful to help you to live into your values more effectively. Thanks for coming to my tedtalk
I don’t think people get the concept of the glow of diaries it seems like they forget that the whole point is that this is her over a year ago and those were her thoughts over a year ago and that’s why she kept binging. she doesn’t feel this way now she’s not going through this now it happened a year ago and this is just her explaining her thoughts at that time. The whole point is to be a worts and all type documentation of weight loss and binge eating. So it makes sense that there was a wall of shame that kept her in a binge cycle. She knows that lol cause it was recorded almost a year prior!
Self-criticism is good when it leads to guilt cause then we can do something about it. Self-criticism that goes beyond guilt and straight to shame is what i would much rather call self-bullying. as there is a reason in the root of it all but it goes beyond what is realistic and rational for one individual to take and doesn't motivate said individual to improve as it becomes too much. Criticism in any sense i'd consider good as it is a reminder that things can be improved- but when it goes beyond what can be improved and picks at every little thing that isn't perfect- when guilt becomes shame- then that is bullying. Don't bully yourself, remind yourself that you can be good despite your actions but your actions may still need to change to reflect that. But you can be good. Criticise yourself, sure, but make sure to take your words to mind and not to heart.
I don't see a problem with it. She was honest about herself and her bad habits. Some people need 'tough love' to gather momentum. And quite honestly, the nasty reactions she received during the initial roll-out of season 2 were worse than anything she's said about herself on video. I felt bad for her.
This video goes hand in hand with David Goggins's video so you can understand the both sides of the argument and try to work on your self to find a line between self love and self discipline. An other amazing video 👌👌 Thank your Kiana🙏👏
I once read a quote that said be kind to yourself, because it’s hard to feel happy when someone is being mean to you all the time. It’s true. Self-care is not just buying yourself treats all the time, it’s really setting yourself up to be comfortable and prepared to accomplish your goals.
her content is very toxic for young girls i hope she finds peace at some point. lord knows we are all trying to find that peace and balance with ourselves and our bodies but her “guidance” is not the way
My mom once told me i got fat, i was like wtf at first and then later i looked in the mirror and realized i let myself get to 230 pounds after i had surgery on my shoulder and i didnt realize it. I lost 50 pounds over the next 6 months. I feel like self criticism and others helps us change alot, but it really depends on how we use it
I think it's important to distinguish between meanness and objectivity, between putting ourselves down and giving ourselves constructive criticism. Our culture has embraced and now celebrates as self-empowering and empatheticthe quintessentially narcissistic stance that all criticism is "hate" and "negative". Maybe it can help us get out of that dead-end alley to begin giving ourselves constructive feedback on our own actions, feedback that will necessarily include some unpleasant truths from time to time since we're all imperfect and we all make mistakes.
This video is so important. I often had a problem with self criticism and thinking I wasn't being critical enough of myself. It definitely did hinder me from achieving even the short term goals I had set for myself. I'm glad this video got recommended to me lol
When I criticize myself, I tend to bring others down with me. I've ruined amazing days because I felt so unworthy of love. I'm learning to be more patient.. thank you so much for this reminder
She wasn't hating herself in her latest video, she was pushing herself to be her best, and succeeded in the end. I'd say that is true self love, it's self respect. Respecting yourself enough to change the situation and state you're currently in. Read the book Can't Hurt Me, you just might have a flip in perspective.
Thank you so much for reviewing her content! As a woman in college now, I heard of her but was shocked when viewing her channel. I think what's especially so disheartening is that so many young girls and teenagers are viewing her videos and thinking that they have to go through to same exact thing when there are much better ways to take care while being kind to ourselves.
Notification Bell Squad ❤️ I needed to hear this, I'm on a journey of self love as I prepare to becoming a mom ✨ I want to be my best version for my kid, and is being hard....
Self-criticism has prevented me from doing so much in my life. I feel so stuck and have just realized, at the age of 36, that I have a very toxic and hateful self-image. Thank you for this, I hope I can grow to be more mindful and believe in myself a bit more 🙏
