All quotes from Portal 2's Defective Turrets 

"So… we’re all supposed to be blind, then, right? It’s not just me? Alright, fantastic." crap turrets are the best turrets

When I first heard the crap turret try to trick the scanner -- "Hello? Heeello? Hellooahhh, crap." -- I had to put down the controller, I was laughing so hard.

I think I rather have a defective turret instead of a normal one XD

They sound like a bunch of gamer dudes. "Wait wait waitWAITWAITWAITWAIT! Aw, come on!"

"I can't see a thing. Better open fire!" That's now my catchphrase.

"If anybody asks, I killed you." This entire thing was the definition of EPIC.

"Non-lethal as ever."

I cracked up at the semi evil laughs XD "shooting blanks everytime, all the time" fantastic

Defective turret, Wheatley, and Space Core BEST CHARACTERS OF PORTAL!

Forgot how hysterical these are. "Well, ya bested me this time!" They sound like Craig from South Park.

When he tries to trick the scanner by imitating the voice of the turret he sounds exactly like them, Nolan North has a magic voice or something?

What's a guy got to do to get some bullets around here? I don't have any bullets. Can I get some bullets here? Anyone got any bullets? .... Annnnd no bullets. BLAM! BLAM BLAM BLAM! .... Okay if anyone asks ... I killed you.

2:20 has to be my favorite part xD. All the laughs XD

YOU CANT FIRE ME I QUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU CAN'T FIRE ME, I QUUUIIIITT!!!!!!!

"Shooting blanks every time. All the time." My favorite.

The crap Turrets. xD

"You can't fire me I quuuuuuuuuuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!" < Last thing I'd say to my boss, if I had a boss. There are no bosses in spaaaaaaaaaaace.

"Uhh do we get some EYES at some point?" "Thought we fixed that!"

I just crack up when they're being thrown in the incinerator 1:50 "This is ridiculous" "No, no, noooooooo" "Oh come on you guys" "This isn't faaaaaiiiir" "You can't fire me, I quuuuuiiiiteee"

Nolan North is too awesome. He does all the voices for the Defective Turrets and the Cores.

I love the Defective Turrets. Their sayings/responses are so funny! "Aw, crap! Anyone got any bullets?! I can't see a thing ;-;"

I am not a homosexual, but NOLAN NORTH I LOVE YOU THIS PERFORMANCE IS PERFECT

Part 3 of Respecting your Neighbors: "I like your potato."

*You can't fire me I QUUUUIIIIIT!* Errr...Okay then. xD

I love these things waaaay too much. Ohgod I wanted to sit there and listen to them all day |D

lol, the entire section with just gun clicks! 1:38

Turret doing its best Norm McDonald impression

haha love these guys. this is why youtube exists, to think i wouldnt of heard all of these amazing quotes

porygon z 2:09 ALSO FUNNIEST PART

3:34 to 3:41 sounds like a few defective turrets having a conversation

I love the defective turrets, I was sad when they were thrown away. Even sadder when the real turret were thrown away.

someone needs to make a ringtone!

1:26 HEY! I can’t see a thing, better open fire. *Click click click click* dang.

If they had bullets, they would he a neat puzzle thing tho. Likez they cant see so they're just continually shooting but if the tester can get behind them then they can use them as a weapon against effective turrets

"Hey squeaky voice, give me some of your bullets."

How come no one is talking about the glorious evil laughter at 2:20?

they are so cheerful i love them

Firing blanks every time, ALL THE TIME!

this would be so damn fun to watch Nolan North during recording XD

Fact: Defective turrets are awesome!

I want one of these turrets as my friends!

I like defective turrets :D

The defective turret sure does have some merit, I'll give him that. Most turrets wouldn't admit to shooting blanks.

When I got to this part in the game I just sat there and listened to the turrets

i like the ones who even ATTEMPTED to sound like Turrets knowing that they were defective lol

"I'm different" is just one of the many phrases the normal turrets use to trick the test subjects into believing their different. lol

I think I know where aperture went wrong, they programmed everything with emotion.

These are taken out of the games file directly. I checked my Portal 2 files.

So we're ALL supposed to be blind? Right? Not just me? Alright, fantastic!

"HellOOOoo. HELLo. HEaah crap."

1:25 "Whoa! What just happened? I can't see a thing! Better open fire. Click-clickclick-click. Dang..." LOL! That's my most favorite quote.

"You can't fire me, I quiiiiiit!" That was hilariously unexpected. xD

I want a radio show with these guys

"Yyyyup. Still unlethal as ever." when you return to a game after 3 months

Just to let everyone know, the defective turrents and cores are voiced by Nolan North (a.k.a. Nathan Drake or everyone else in videogame history).

these are freaking hilarious. I love portal 2!

"Aw, those were the crap turrets wern't they."

i want these guys as my home security

Seems like they don't have their ring modulators on.

@roomwithacatinit well there's also the fact that wheatly is considered an idiot (which is true) and GLaDOS is the controler of the apeture facility. oh and there's the fact that Chell is female and she's the one who takes everybody down. i never noticed this before, thank you for astablishing that. :D

"I CANT SEE A THING, BETTER OPEN FIRE!" -click click- "Damn.."

Aw they're the most creepily adorable little blind things...

3:16 is my favorite- Shootin' blanks everytime, ALL the time.

Someone needs to make a SFM video with a TF2 robot holding coffee (which is actually just a cup with money in it) and saying this.

Best character in the portal franchise

Funniest character in Portal 2, hands down.

@Hamsterlord106 Nope. this fella (and the personality spheres) was portrayed by Nolan North. The announcer was portrayed by Joe Michaels, and Cave Johnson was portrayed by J. K. Simmons.

@GMAN34371 Actually, no they're not. Nolan North is the voice actor for the defective turrets, and all of the defective cores.

"Well hello stranger" My new greeting

"You can't fire me I quiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittt."-Defective turret, 2011

See everytime they say "OH COME ON" I can't help but think of Gob Bluth

Oracle turrets I must have singing at my funeral

Touche, young lady, touche

You gotta love these guys confidence. They're not just faulty and useless, they're AWESOMELY faulty and PROUDLY useless.

if Norm Mcdonald was a turret

Aww... they're so polite...

Anyone else find it weird that turrets are female and the defective turrets are MALE!?

I like to imagine this is what deadpool sounds like in the comics...

2:01 you can't fire me I QUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Hey squeaky voice, gimme some of your bullets" LOLOLOLOLOL

Because they're AWESOME!

i loved when the defective turret in the scanner went MOO HOOO HAAHAHA every time a "good" turret went catapulted

And this is why I love Nolan North.

Hurt me once shame on me hurt me twice...dang ughhh crap nooo dang dang dang

I lost it at "what just happened? better open fire *click click click* damn!"

turret 1: hurt me once, shame on me... hurt me twice, dead! ahh...

I kept dropping the poor turret and then when I DID catch it, I button mashed so much that I dropped it. Again. Not on purpose, I swear.

Almost spilled my keyboard with soda at the laughing part. XD

"Not getting better with age!" "Alright, if anyone asks: I killed you."

Sounds like Dana Carvey speaking through a synthesizer.

Followed by : "Shooting blanks all the time, every time! Aww yeah..."

i could see this being toby turner so much!

Dude, turrets, take a chill pill. If you don't have a chill pill, take one of those chill strips. Put it in your mouth, it melts - chill... Winky-blinky, the no-eyed sergeant's firin' blanks! Good to know Vic's still around.

"Give 'em Hell Sweetheart." Chell:....-.-'

Some are blind, some don't have bullets, and some are just unbearably lazy.

I just want to hear a defective turret say "sh-shaw"! :D

@bicyclemaster The Prometheus turret uses the same voice actress (Ellen McLain) as the normal turrets. It just says weird things.

i wonder if when he got to the part with these turrets that he either tried to show them up or started answering them not sure though cuz the lvls take so long and Toby is a slow gamer doesnt rush so it would be like 10 or more episodes a lvl

from 3:14 to 3:19 are the best two quotes: "Right on the money" and "shooting blanks every time." LMAO