"Am I a Narcissist?" How to Assess Yourself | DIANA DIAMOND 

some sort of narcissism is okay, but extreme versions of it, that is serious

Lol

Everyone thinks "narcissist" is just a pejorative, and they have no clue what they are saying.

I think if you are so concerned and self- reflective, it's Highly Highly Improbable . Most have some narc post trauma reactions, but many don't even bother to lift the rug and take an honest look ❤ embracing our shadows in the light all groovy

Haha. That makes 2 of us. But see for the bright side, at least you have a good sense of humor. HAHAHA

@@iloveFreedom.narc post trauma reactions, wow, I’ve never heard it described as that. Thank you that helps so much!

Exactly. Most people who think they're narcissists, aren't. Those who can self-reflect and change their ways, weren't even on the end of the spectrum.

Unlikely not impossible. Usually when the skills they have stop working they can be susceptible to a willingness to look within. But if their world doesn’t collapse then they almost won’t ever seek help. Think about it why would someone who derives so much pleasure from something stop engaging in that behaviour, if they saw it as a positive.

Unlikely but not impossible , Hey 👋

I think I do have narcissistic traits I acknowledge that and I do want to change that but taking accountability is very very hard for me to know that another person thinks I'm a bad person for hurting their feelings I feel they won't ever forgive me I think this is selfish to think about how I feel more than them

so then im not a narcissist, im just an awful person

Someone can have traits without having full NOD. A psychotherapist can help determine why you feel the way you do and help build the superego. Also check for copper toxicity, mold, or hormonal issues to ensure it isn’t that. Living in a state of survival can cause paranoia and narcissistic defenses to run high.

Best way to find out is to go to an experienced psychologist and get an assessment. If it comes out positive, great! Now you know and can get help with your own past traumas that are causing you to be narcissistic. If it comes out negative, great! Now you can get help with your past traumas that are making it so hard for you to internally reflect. No matter what. Go get help. You're a human being, and you have value no matter what the results. I've suffered horrifically under the hands of a narcissist my whole life, and they are people too. Survivors act and talk like narcissists have no value, but in doing that, we become no better than the narcissist. So I will not do that. If you're a narcissist, you have value, you are loved, you can get better. You CAN GET BETTER! Don't fear anything. Not even a possibility of getting a positive result. Go get an assessment. It'll be ok. Then...DO THE WORK! Good luck.

Are you the type of person to chase relationships over love, then quickly lose that feeling of love after getting what you want? Are you the type of person who sees themselves as someone who wouldn't cheat or do harmful things towards a romantic partner, but then proceeds to frequently cheat or emotionally hurt your partner? Or at least have a very hard time not cheating, or avoiding flirting or engaging in other love-driven behaviors. Are you the type of person to, when you quickly lose feelings for a partner or they no longer benefit you enough, try and push a partner away, rather than be the one to break up with them, as a form of defense for your own self image or worth when there is no apparently issue with a relationship other than your own lack of feeling/care for the other, or their lack of benefits? Someone's relationship with love can say a lot about whether or not they're a narcissist. If you're too young to have been in many relationships, then your brain just hasn't developed to a point where you could or couldn't be a narcissist. If you just aren't romantically inclined in any way, then your issues likely either aren't related to narcissism to begin with, or you're an asexual/aromantic narcissist, which would be incredibly unlikely. This is coming from a narcissist myself. I'm just very much into philosophy and the nature of existence, I don't think narcissists would typically ever care about introspection, and it's very unlikely that you'll find one here, or be one yourself. All of these traits fit me, and yes, I still see myself as the type of person who wouldn't cheat on a partner, emotionally abuse others, or make decisions based off of preserving my own self image and benefiting myself in some way, yet that's still who I am, to no real emotional dismay of my own.

yes they r the meaning of “bad” because of not been loved and accepted enough in childhood ,they live in anger,jealousy,have no empathy. so what to expect than?

@@thecure3982i have a lot of narcissistic traits and i do suffer from ptsd from abuse. i’m still in a very abusing environment and it almost feels empowering to believe i’m a narcissist and say i don’t care. sad thing is i do and i’m a weakass. i think my brain is telling me i’ll need a little bit of a narcissistic response for a little while. what it gets to get out and get safe i guess. can’t fight with monsters without becoming one for the fight..(?

Or on the spectrum lol. So many people see SO many of my behaviours as rude, but they understand now that I’m not being rude, it’s like an Italian speaking very passionately and someone from a country that tends to be more submissive seeing the Italian and thinking wow why is he so aggressive but to other Italians they are like what are you talking about? That’s not aggression at all, just a cadence of speech. Not to say all narcs are autistic because I do not believe that. Just wanted to point out not being able to keep friends, enjoying alone time, etc can be common in adults on the spectrum.

@Doris Datewood right!

@@GIwillo - And maybe you should as well. Perhaps you are just another troll. But as far as I can tell, most who watch and comment on this issue have suffered years of abuse and hate from a loved one afflicted with this condition. Most are trying to move on in life, and just want the modicum of respect they're due. And a bit of validation goes a long way. Never have I seen narc's identified by name, so no one's being slandered and therefore no shame or apology is necessary, especially not to strangers. And btw, being heckled for doing the right thing is something narc survivors are used to, so bear that in mind before making more negative remarks.

Loving someone who are capable of loving, capable to sacrifice or make compromises for the relationship. Who understands that a relationship is about two people and can love you back, not using you as an object to fulfill their every need. I am sorry that you lived a long time in a relationship where you didn't have support and partner ship. I am very sorry that I learned it late too. I didn't realize that I deserve respect and care the same way as I am willing to give. I didn't realized that they will never get what is wrong in their behavior. It is always your fault if you felt that something is missing and your emotional needs should be considered too.

@Nikki E. since she mentioned that the "family narc" was diagnosed and was warned about the useless sacrifice trying to make a narc feel better or try to heal them will end up losing oneself in the process to see that no sacrifice or commitment is enough to even make a dent of improvement. This person lost 50 years and still, has been invalidated by some one who is commenting on a video about narcissism. We don't need to give more understanding for the narcissists shake (we are here because THAT is what we have been doing for years) and stab into someone who hasn't been looked at as a person who have valid needs and points. Besides, it was not a maleficent comment at all, just sharing frustration and pain.

I understand you well, I have the same experience as you

love the drinking misato pfp

my bf said something similar to me one day.. he also said he sees people as tools

@@mayamia9339 Your bf sounds weird.

I'm no psychologists, but to me that sounds like something else. Now, I'm not sure exactly what that sounds like but NOT narcissism. For example, when you read this please understand I'm NO psychologists, so I haven't the proper vocabulary to speak on the subject, but it's the only way I know how to explain. Ready, okay, it sounds like something lesser than but akin to schizophrenia, but not like can't cope, running, drooling and screaming because there out to harm you,

Good luck.

You pretty much nailed on the head my belief system in a nutshell. 👍 You are not alone.

Sorry, long ass comment I’m really board and felt like sharing. Hmmm yes and no, honestly depending on how heavily involved you are with said person and what gains they see in you, depends on how much effort they will put in to aid in you feeling secure/blind enough to extract said gains from you. Like when current my partner found out I was actually working (pre pandemic) as a prostitute and I didn’t have a successful cleaning business like I said, he was understandably hurt. He has since shared with me it was the act of the working but it was also finding out how easily I can lie and what lengths I would go to, he knows I’m not normal. But i was able to save things with a multitude of my techniques focusing on his insecurities, and obviously I had to give up the job. I was so annoyed initially when he didn’t get over it as soon as I did/would/could coz he couldn’t see “what I had given up for him” but I also had to acknowledge the hurt that finding out I was “working” would have had on him. I can logically see the world would prob be better of without people like myself, but I won’t check out. I use to in a way pride myself on being a certain way, being able to feel or not feel certain things, feeling almost like I had super power I knew I couldn’t tell any about. But now I see these tools/skills more like maladaptive behaviours I learnt up as a child because of my extreme neglect and abuse I was exposed to, I wasn’t able to process and I lived in a fantasy land because my reality as a small and relatively innocent child was exposed to such circumstances I wasn’t equip to deal with. Its taken me 5+ years of intense therapy and 3-4 years of anger management in jr/high school to come to this conclusion and I’m not just diagnosed with npd, having co-morbid personality disorders has probably aided in me becoming willing to share my experience and to seek help. A pure narc who’s not as venerable as myself may not ever come to this conclusion, coz if it’s workthing for them then why would they, I sure as shit wouldn’t seek help if I didn’t have to. It’s so fucked up sitting with the shame and guilt. If I could run around heartless I prob would. But If anything I want to tell you that this “genuine sorry” theory isnt the most reliable nor reoalistic way of assessment. Hey mate you can and prob should go about it your own way. But I’m board and thought I would suggest you tread lightly with who you share this theory to, in your personal life anyway. If you do say it to someone who’s close enough to you with npd, because someone could possibly see that as an easy “blindfold” of yours/that they can use, or possibly a challenge or a sort entertainment trying to see how impenetrable you really are. But through a fuck ton of therapy, I know that I don’t have to act on my thoughts, but I was board here on RU-vid reading comments and I decided to share this

@@juicylucy6488 Thank you for sharing.

My wife of 20-years tells me I hate to say "I'm sorry" or she'll say "You've always had a hard time saying "sorry" which the first few times I would think, aw, she's just upset at the moment, but she's said it so much I'm not sure anymore:) For example, I'm being truthful when I say, if I'm wrong I'll gladly admit it, but what if I'm not seeing it? For example, what if I say something and the words/tone/attitude in which I speak it comes across completely different than what I was feeling and thought about in my own mind. Right, am I sorry? I'm sorry I wasn't able to convey it the way I had hoped and was trying to; YES! Am I sorry that I may have inadvertently offended you? Well, I don't want to offend anyone purposely, but I hate that your feelings got hurt, but it's not like that was my aim. I don't know man, I just don't know:) HA! Sorry for the book I guess:) Later,

@@geico1975 good points! Thanks a lot! My diagnostic tool has obvious limitations :)

They can break down,cry but actually they hold they breath and make themself pass out, we think they sorry and they look for way out, only sorry is for themself, cant full me no more

Your not don't worry

Don’t listen to that other comment. If you really feel like that then keep exploring that. Check out HealNPD channel and the nameless narcissist channel

We are better off )

​@@servantofgod1724you don't even know them. Don't assume just because someone watches this video they're automatically not an narssasist..

Narcissists don't self-assess or self reflect. They consider themselves perfect. They're most likely researching how to get rich and con people.

You think a narcissist would even click on this video to try and figure themselves out? I'm not being sarcastic lol I really am wondering that

I'm assuming you're a guy "Billy" and maybe you're still youthful, that's my first question, how old you are and what country were you raised in. For example, if you are no older than a 30-year-old male who grew up in the USA, I'd chalk it up to haven't yet fully matured and developed before I'd go to a personality disorder.

All that stuff is just happening in your own head, and you are projecting it to others. Normal people, including myself, don't think like that.

​@@gab31282What is normal?

What I'm getting is.. You read and analyze people and can comprehend facial expressions and body language and vocal cues that say the opposite of what they speak. You call it out. They almost always deny, and call you crazy or paranoid, and tell you it's only in your head. People who are lying, definitely don't like being confronted and exposed. Finding out if your suspicion is correct, or not, without confronting them, will save you the denials and the distancing, without proof. I thought I was going crazy, calling out bs, because that was the bulk of the responses to it. Then, I stopped immediately calling out and started going for proofs, first. My intuition is working. My discernment is working. People who lie alot don't like this. I should have cut certain ones out of my life, without confronting them, because they were dangerous, and I ignored my intuition, while trying to figure out if I was the problem.

Don't listen to her. Normal people like myself. That is exactly what a narcissist would think. That they are normal and everything is in everyone's head. Some of us do deal with these things. If you are scared you are a narcissist chances are you aren't. Narcissist are not even able to conjure a thought that something MAY be wrong with them they think they are NORMAL at best. ​@@3Just3Jess3

I relate

Everyone has those traits, some narcissistic traits to a degree is healthy. It's called boundaries and putting yourself first. Every successful entrepreneur, artist, musician..etc has narcissistic tendencies, but it's whether you manipulate someone or not

_Depends on the context._ Those with NPD, cycle between moments of (+) idealisation and (-) devaluation -- involving unstable beliefs about both themselves and others. Those ebb & flow states between (+) ego inflation and (-) ego collapse which occur within the narcissist -- are heavily influenced by current life events for the individual. _NPD is an ego-dystonic disorder._ Self-assessments are quite difficult for those with NPD due to the way narcissistic delusions distort a person's *current* identity -- and the way that identify shapes their capacity for self-inventory.

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-Ihu3k_j3KQk.html

Really? Not one person in your life that's important to you? If true, what happened? Please explain if you can, was it a tragic loss or something? Just curious, not trying to set you up or anything.

@@geico1975 I cannot bear someone's closeness for more than a few months or weeks. Had enough of this pattern so I quit. I stop contact with my "family". And lets not forget "significant other" means in this context someone you live within a partner or family relation.

Well said and analysed. I think your take on it is accurate. Western society exalts individualism, the super ego, being confident to the point of defiance. Being 'separate' from the whole, distinct, with loads of defining traits and features. So, so WRONG. I have begun a spiritual journey of relinquishing my ego, using it only for self-preservation, but not in my interactions with people. It is a revelation. The 'who am I' question is redundant, unimportant. Because the 'I' is a burden of external conditionings and impositions, coming from various sources, family, school, religion, society, media, etc. What we truly are is PART OF THE WHOLE. And there is much more that we all have in common than we have that's different. Many have some narcissistic traits without actually being a narcissist, as I was. Thanks to this spiritual path I have become self-aware, and am chipping off on the 'identity' narrative which truly isn't real. Less 'I'. My spiritual guide has also recommended that the pronoun 'I' be used far less in speaking and writing. Not easy. We use it continually, in abundance, and it is detrimental to us and others.

@@gabykappscomposermariagabr749 Amen!! Just wanted to let you know, The Holy Spirit used your ‘message/testimony’ to answer me. Clarity and guide me. Thank you for being that vessel!