Video Timestamps: 0:00 Welcome 2:54 Topic Introduction 10:12 Being Stuck in Camp Victim 22:25 10 Behaviors of a Bad Wife 42:12 The Solution for Women 44:50 The Solution for Men 47:37 Questions and Comments
10 behaviors of a bad wife starting at 26:20 .: 1. You are controlling - micromanaging and inflexible with your plan. Good men are not controlling. They are easy going and flexible 2. You need to be right. You can't bear to be wrong. Same as a man being weak. Its the worst thing to experience in our female interpretation. When you can admit you make mistakes, your man will be a better experience 3. You have to wear the pants in the relationship and give approval for everything the man does 4. You are a pain avoider. Avoid pain and conflict to get to solutions. Stop being so mean and reactive 5. You are moody, temperamental, and over emotional. You get triggered at the flip of a switch 6. You are critical and judgmental. Focus on negative and flaws of your husband instead of the good positive things 7. You have double standards. Do as I say, not as I do. You can do what you want, but the man has to stick to your rules 8. You talk behind your husband's back. You feel entitled to air your dirty laundry 9. You are not interested in sex and feel it is an obligation instead of a normal healthy activity. Good men don't want to cheat. They want to have a good sex life with their wife 10. You undermine your husband in front of your children and make him look bad, instead of taking issues behind closed doors and being respectful of your husband
As a former bad husband, I cringe when I think of my former behaviour with my wife for many years. Now, for about the last 31/2 years I realize that I cannot change the past, but continue in a much changed behaviour. Thank goodness I married a very patient wife.
I used to believe that hormones where a reason for a wife to act the way they do, but your reasoning on how your wife can be normal at work then come home and be a completely different person . It makes so much sense!
Yeah and also I think you are still right about hormones. Sometimes it can be a problem. What’s really bad is when hormones are a problem but a wife doesn’t want to address it saying everything is ok or “it’s the way I am I can’t change it” 🤷🏻♂️
The key word is they *CAN be normal at work. As an employer of about 15 women in full and part time jobs over the last decade, I assure you they can act horribly at work and I’ve endured abuse as their boss like a ‘work husband.’ Emasculation tactics aren’t confined to a marriage
My wife has flat out disrespected me right in front of the kids. She's a stay at home mom, and I came home from work, there were a ton of dishes, and the dishwasher that I ran before I left for work was still full. I sighed and started emptying it so it could get done, and she told me to leave the room because nobody liked being around me when I "act like that", right in front of the kids. I couldn't believe that shit.
Hmm we need more info on this instance-you said your wife stays home with the kids. Wonder how many. Being home and taking care of kids can create tough days sometimes where we stay at home moms don’t seem to be able to get any house work done. It was nice of you to start the dishwasher before you left for work :) You stated you sighed and started emptying the dishwasher when you got home-for her to ask you to leave and doesn’t like when you act that way seems to lead the reader to suspect that there was a lot more than a sigh that occurred. If in fact that was the case then you both were disrespectful to each other in front of the kids. I realize I could be wrong and maybe she just didn’t do the dishes because she didn’t feel like it or whatever but I think sometimes we need to put ourselves in the others shoe to understand situations and to also see how we might have contributed to a problem.
I can’t believe how accurately the list of 10 behaviors you outlined describes my wife EXACTLY (especially because you don’t even know her!! That’s amazing!) It’s equally disheartening she refuses to see how she contributes to her own relationship difficulties and always plays the victim. After years of trying, I had to accept the reality she refuses to acknowledge her role, and I had to walk away. 💔
Thank you for teaching us guys about women and for understanding that it's not always our fault. Every wife and potential wife should attend this school as if they were attending cooking classes.
Thank you Karyn for showing both sides of a marriage a way forward. I am finding myself after a near 20 year relationship that ended because my ex-wife "wasn't happy". It is powerful to see myself in your description of a good man, the positives in my beliefs and negatives in being emasculated by a woman who was always the victim.
My ex wife wasn't happy either after 20-year marriage. I know I am a good man and I thank Karyn for reminding me of that. I can only hope my ex wife's new partner is the answer to her prayers.
Thank you to all the women watching and participating in the chat today. I appreciate your curiosity and open-mindedness very much. I saw some great questions I missed during the show that I will save to answer at another time.
@@MayorOfBodybuildingTV Right? Women need to relearn their place. They are not the head of the household. They need to not be so mouthy and demanding and allow men to be men. They will all die alone when we divorce them.
Couldn’t have been better timing..my wife is a terrible liar and tries lying to me. This weekend she said he car got taken but they only drove it a block and took her purse with nothing in it…and that’s why she didn’t respond to me all day and stayed out all night….this is what I’m dealing with…
Take all your money in contact and asset protection firm. Liquidate all of your assets that you possibly can and see if you can put it into an offshore trust owned by an offshore LLC. This will shield it from her. She sounds like a woman who's committing adultery
Most men want a wife and a family. This life is impossible with modern women. You can see the problem in modern marriage in the most miserable people are divorced women over 40. The likely left a good man and now no one wants them. They still are never accountable but deep down they know they destroyed their life.
All men want is love. That's it. But women want status, power, money, etc. Whatever tickles their emotions. Anything the relationship is actually meant for, she will turn it into something it was never meant to be. All because of her preconceived notions feminism has taught her. Even among "conservative" women
@alexisc7565 Because they have been trained, programmed, or NOT TAUGHT at all how to be a good wife. Good wife also translates to good woman. Nobody wants a snake in their bed, so they jump from one relationship to the next. Whether it was by their decision, or the man kicked them out, it is somehow always the man who did all the wrong, when in reality, a woman can feel happy one moment, and miserable the next. In that moment of feeling miserable they can make a decision to completely wreck the trust, and/or, the relationship. When these mistakes are made there is never an apology, it is only buried with more of this back and forth, up and down, and never receiving of forgiveness, nor forgiving themselves. That sounds like "splitting", which is commonly found among "NPD", Narcissistic Personality Dissorder. It is just a simple FACT, women have been completely neglected since childhood to be taught and understand all of these things for the benefit of both man and woman.
I wish that there was a way to get these messages into most churches. I hear biblical teaching that churches don't ever address. Two problems with this. Firstly, most women who go to church won't hear this message because the preachers don't know the bible or are afraid to make women in the church mad. Secondly, many men are turned off by organized churches and thus the churches can't get them to Jesus.
@@BillTony2 Yes. This channel says women do bad things because it is hard wired in their DNA, and they have a bad relationship with themselves. Men who aren't playboys are good gyys and when they do bad things, it is women's fault. The Bible says men sin. They dont get a pass for blaming women. There are no excuses
@@BillTony2 In the Bible men sin because they are sinful. On this channel, men who arent players are driven to do wrong by women.. Women do wrong because it is hardwired in their DNA and they have a bad relationship with themselves. If this is deleted, I won't bother writing it again.
@@canelareina3795 “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate, not as inferior, but out of respect for the responsibilities entrusted to husbands and their accountability to God, and so partnering with them] so that even if some do not obey the word [of God], they may be won over [to Christ] without discussion by the godly lives of their wives, [Eph 5:22] when they see your modest and respectful behavior [together with your devotion and appreciation-love your husband, encourage him, and enjoy him as a blessing from God].” 1 Peter 3:1-2 AMP
From what I have seen, only about 2 wives out of 100 are good wives. 98 % cut off sex after marriage, or when the children arrive. Most do not support their husband, they complain to other women about what he does wrong. She is not happy, so it's the husbands fault. Men don't know this is coming after marriage.
It’s true you know. I was quite young when I married my wife. I love my wife but like you said....these are serious issues and problems not at all easy to deal with in the areas that you mentioned.
So much I want to say but everything makes sense now. Horrible things said to me and I thought everything was always my fault. Like being caught in a tornado and no way out.
Great message today Karyn! Hate I missed the live, had to work. Always happy to watch on replay though, and it was with my husband. We enjoy watching together and talking about it. Thankful for you and all of your work!
This is a good one. I did this at an employer several years ago. Now this is funny when I expressed dissatisfaction about lack of forgiveness with my wife -- she said "oh, are you saying you're the victim?" Projection. This is a very healthy discussion.
Wife's 66th Birthday. She has not talked much to me in the past 2 weeks. This was after I was accused of gritting my teeth after she gave me a disapproving comment. This has been a trigger for me because of my past upbringing. Sex starved for the first 30 years. No sex, or physical contact for the past 13 years. Will we make it to the 43rd anniversary in 2 weeks?? I had a card for her, with a present and homemade brownies! Instead, she is going out for a sandwich and then a long movie, alone. I really do not care at this point. Kids will be up for the 4th of July. This may be the time we can agree on a divorce! So tired of only getting affection from the dog!
Don't dishonour your headship in the family. I did for way too many years. When I stopped tolerating her nasty ways, she moved out. OK so I will lose the house etc but it never was going to change: the Jezebel spirit is a very strong demon. Much happier now at 67. Be prepared to lose your family also.
i’m at that point as we speak. my older son (26) is getting married at 5:30 today & i will no be attending. i’ve been alienated by my own family after they got everything they ever needed. will not be in the same room with my soon to be ex & her toxic family.
My ex is now totally where you were 10 years ago. Hates victims but plays the biggest one by blaming me for her problems and unhappiness. She loves Camp Victim and plays up the pity party on social media. She is going to spiral downward even further.
I went about 12 years without seeing the ex-wife. I saw her 5 years ago at a graduation. She looked so bad it took a minute for me to recognize her. She would not stop staring at me. I was relieved that she is no longer my problem.
Describes my ex wife perfectly. "I wouldn't be like this if you would just (fill in the blank)". She thought I did nothing right. I can only hope the man in her life now is the one she was praying for.
This labor day weekend she told me she loved her life,the house,kids,dog and the only thing she would change is me.... that broke my heart. And you describe her perfectly even if you don't know her.
My wife of 29 years has left me. Accused me of an emotional affair that was the last straw and unloaded the Rolodex of resentments built up over the years. How can a man recover from years of this emasculation abuse, the depression and overcome the regret I feel for not making it work?
Reading these blogs have made me realize that I was not the only husband that was being emasculated by my wife. I was very fortunate, the wife left me and the kids after 10 years.
Do you have any content on how to train daughters in these “happy wife” ideas? They sound like life concepts and not being in “camp victim” can help any one.
you can teach a daughter how to become a good wife but you must also teach her what a bad man is. be sure they understand that the feeling a bad boy gives them is simply hormonal and be aware that it can lead to bad consequences.
@@DanHoller-eb6xt I got that. Nothing goes without saying in my house. They all will be well prepared BUT hopefully there is a comprehensive list out there from this source. She seems pretty good.
As aan who successfully raised a daughter into a good woman, the number one thing you xan do as a dad is be a great, attentive, authoritative father. Be firm with discipline, loving in your explanations, and shownher how a good man treats his wife. I also had talks about what boys/men really want from women, and what will determine her value in their eyes. I explained that scarcity is the imperis of value....meaning, if she wants a man to value her, she needs to save herself for him. I explained how most young men are being asked to "buy used cars at new prices" when it comes to modern women, and that is why those women are miserable. Self-worth expresses itself by valuing yourself enough to behave in a way that makes other people value you. I also taught her how to cook and clean, how to enjoy simple things (backpacking and fishing), and the honor in being married.
Hi Karyn. I LOVE your videos-i have been trying to rebuild my relationship, and I have taken to heart (and practice) many of the resources telling me how to he a better man. But of everything, everyone, YOU are the only person I have seen addressing women’s fundamental role in dysfunctional marriages in a pragmatic way. You have relieved me of such guilt and burden and confusion. One thing I really want to see out of a video is this: Will you pretty please make a video about how exactly women can “build themselves back up?” You talk about women feeling empty, seeking externalities, refusing to take accountability-well, how do they actually begin healing, and starting to feel whole? I agree wholeheartedly that women have “woman ways” of sabotaging relationships, but how do they address the core problem of emptiness that lies at the heart of everything? Thank you so much. You are a gem 💎💕✨
Wow! My ex-wife would score 10 out of 10 here. Congrats to her on a job NOT well done. And for so long (as in 20 years) I bought/thought her B.S. that it was always and all ways my problems, for which she would accept zero responsibility. Thank you for this validation!
Behold, this have I found, saith the preacher, counting one by one, to find out the account: Which yet my soul seeketh, but I find not: one man among a thousand have I found; but a woman among all those have I not found.
My biggest mistake ever was this "happy wife happy life",....x2. What I should have done was make it clear this is what I want and need. If they could not then we should have parted then and there.
First off Karen, you are so spot on and correct and this information can be so helpful. However. It’s not easy to get a quarrelsome woman who is in victim and blames everyone else for the problems to watch and take from this video being titled the way it’s titled. She’s instantly up in arms and will not watch. 🙁
So I'm a great husband today according to my wife who was singing my praises today until around 5:30 when she wanted to talk about something she said I said to our daughter. I told her no because I'm not going to have a conversation where she said I called my daughter fat when I most certainly did not. I'm not going have a conversation where people are putting words in my mouth, and calling me a liar. Told her a second time. Third time I raised my voice told her I am not going to talk about this. Now I'm the asshole because I'm defending myself against harassment, and slander. I texted my daughter. She said she never said that. I told my wife to look at the text. She refused. Somehow I'm the selfish asshole. I told her either she misunderstood my daughter, my daughter misunderstood her, or both, and she needs to talk to her. Nope. I'm selfish. It's my fault.
Victimhood isn't just about bad things happening to you. It's the belief that every bad thing that has happened to you was ON PURPOSE and directed AT YOU. Hence why we have phrases like "weaponized incompetence." It's the idea that a husband not just did something, but did it intentionally to hurt his wife. Granted, that sort of makes weaponized incompetence an oxymoron because you can't make a weapon if you don't know what you're doing...but that's beside the point.
There are biological consequences of a high body count such as the lack of ability to parabond because of the lack of oxytocin they fail to create. I don't believe just because someone changed their behavior and no longer hands their body out to just any-body, that there' been nothing lost from their behavior. A woman's past matters, big time, just as much as a man's future matters.
I am a Man in my early 60's and my wife (who is also in her early 60's) gave up sex in her mid 50's to go to church exclusively and while I can understand her need to go to church (I went as well until I could not agree with the church on matters that seemed foreign to me) but I am sure that the Bible created man First and after GOD realized that Adam needed someone else he created Eve out of Adam's rib. And both of them enjoyed the garden of Eden. Now getting to my problem I have understood my wife going through menopause for more than 5 years but I am a MAN and I have needs and I feel 5 years is about all I can take. What say you Happy Wife School?
I love this video it points out a lot of things that make a lot of sense. The only thing I don't like and I wish would be different is the title because I feel like saying what makes you a bad wife is a little bit rough for a wife to hear. More of a softer approach maybe a "how you're not as good of a wife as you might think" would be a better title. It would make it a little bit more palatable when sending it to my wife😂
When it comes to divorce, it may take a few years but karma don't pass up woman even... They get nailed in the worst way. Iv seen it to many times. It's real.
Does this information apply to couples who are not married ? Reason I ask because I showed my girlfriend of four years, says this information is only for married people. I disagree because we are committed to each other without a marriage certificate.
It's an excuse. You knew that, so consider this your confirmation. If you still have hope in the relationship, try sharing a couple more (shorter) videos, sparingly. If she refuses to change, you probably have a difficult decision to make ahead of you. Good luck 🫡
Yea I knew it was an excuse, and I made the difficult decision and broke up with her. I also had to block her phone number, so I don’t have to hear her tell me it’s all my fault, while she isn’t willing to make at least 10% change. I am banging my head against the wall hoping she would make some change. I miss her but I am at peace now.
@AnthonyMartella-b7i do yourself a favor: accept the fact that she won't. She's been that way for 4 years; change doesn't happen overnight. If she refuses to even admit where she's wrong, and worse, claims YOU'RE wrong, you gotta let her go. Take w/e time you need to heal, learn from your mistakes, learn about women's nature, ACCEPT IT, and move according to your principles and moorings as a decent man. Oh, and I heard the gym helps tremendously with breakups. 💪🏾 Point is, convert that sad energy to productive energy while taking your time to mourn the relationship. You got this, bro. It'll be tough, but well worth it.
There is nothing more than I love in the world than to receive affection and intimacy from my beautiful wife. I hope one day, I will not long for that, but that it will be a part of our daily lives.
Every video you produce makes me love and appreciate ever more my Heaven-sent late wife, and how grateful I am that I remained a single man after her death. The sorrow and misery described in the comments section in your videos is staggering, and I have much sympathy for those men and women who find themselves hopelessly mired in truly sad situations. 😢
Women may not want to be wrong but some times they will just assume or accept the are wrong but do nothing about it. It usually results in a perpetual depressive state with no advancement.
Thank you for tutorial.....very good....for men to understand where they are.....and I hope and for women.....👏👏👏....Do you think is there difference between women til 30 years and women after 30 years?
Thank you How do you deal with her toxic friends that try to push and make it hard even for our children even after we are split they just run her and how she parents etc it’s tuff
🎯 Key points for quick navigation: 00:01 *👋 Introduction and announcements* - Introduction to the show "The Happy Wife School" discussing the topic of "Are you married to a bad wife?" - Announcements about upcoming shows, podcast availability, and a recommendation for another channel. 02:54 *🎤 Purpose of the discussion* - Discussing behaviors that may make a woman a "bad wife" and their impact on marriages. - Encouraging women to reflect on their behaviors and their effects on relationships. 06:14 *🚫 Living in Camp Victim* - Explanation of how living in a victim mentality affects accountability in marriages. - Impact of blaming spouses for relationship issues and the importance of self-awareness. 10:15 *🔍 Camp Victim vs. Camp Take Responsibility* - Contrasting perspectives of victimhood and responsibility in relationships, focusing on women's behaviors. - How men's understanding of accountability differs and its implications for relationship dynamics. 22:24 *📉 10 Behaviors of a "Bad Wife"* - Listing specific behaviors that indicate a lack of accountability and selfishness in marriages. - Addressing the facade versus true behaviors and the importance of recognizing and changing these behaviors. 25:51 *🎯 Understanding controlling behaviors in marriage* - Controlling behaviors range on a spectrum from micromanaging to demanding strict adherence. 26:20 *🔄 The need to be right and its impact on relationships* - Women's resistance to being wrong can strain relationships, while good men value humility and honesty. 30:18 *🩳 Balancing power dynamics in relationships* - Challenges of wearing "the pants" and the importance of mutual respect and decision-making. 31:30 *🚫 Addressing conflict avoidance in marriages* - Recognizing the impact of avoiding conflict versus actively seeking resolution. 33:27 *🎭 Managing emotional fluctuations in relationships* - Understanding moodiness and the importance of stability and consistency in relationships. 34:34 *🕵️♀️ Overcoming critical and judgmental behaviors* - Shifting focus from criticism to appreciation and positivity in relationships. 36:39 *🛡️ Embracing fairness and consistency in marital expectations* - Avoiding double standards and promoting honesty and fairness in relationships. 38:47 *🗣️ Maintaining privacy and respect in marital communication* - Discussing marital issues with respect for privacy and personal boundaries. 39:05 *🛏️ Nurturing intimacy and connection in marriages* - Recognizing the importance of genuine intimacy and emotional connection in relationships. 40:19 *🧒 Fostering respect and unity in parental roles* - Promoting mutual respect and cooperation in parenting roles for a healthy family dynamic. 51:14 *🧠 Empowerment through personal responsibility* - Emphasizes taking control of one's actions and responses. - Advocates for pride in self-management and personal growth. 53:32 *🏥 Navigating health decisions in relationships* - Acknowledges the limits of influence over a partner's health choices. - Encourages acceptance and positive role modeling. 55:26 *💬 Overcoming judgment based on past behavior* - Stresses the potential for personal change despite past actions. - Rejects the notion that past mistakes define future potential. Made with HARPA AI
In case Karyn does not see this… she mentions in previous videos she is a Christian. I highly recommend sending the videos to your wife (just as my husband did for me!) all the best
@@apdg385 Thank you for the feedback. Should you stumble across one where she says that please do share the details. I have asked my wife or shared the info with her. She does hear what Karyn is saying yet holds that against her and so will not receive as intended.
I know I’ll get probably a lot of flack, but is it a bad idea to have sex with your spouse who you are divorcing? I’m assuming no! But man sometimes a man’s needs is overwhelming!
5:51 I started listening to your channel because my husband found you online after we had a fight. He sent it to me to justify his side of the story. I have so much to say about your content. I would love to have a chat. I believe you are missing so much of the why women behave the way they do. It’s not solely because men are good and wives are bad. Way more to the story. You’re lifting men up. And completely disrespecting women. You think women solely have these behaviors to be manipulative and controlling. Many women are reacting by pulling back because of not feeling heard and trying to protect themselves. Every man I know. Says they are a good man. Without realizing or caring about how their behavior affects others. You have taken this content to a one sided approach. All men are good. And all wives are emasculating. It’s about mutual respect. I don’t see that here.
Did you even listen to the whole episode? She goes into detail about how good men act and how bad wives act. I actually heard the whole episode and found some behaviors in myself that I regretfully did so I realized some bad things about my own behavior. That’s the whole point of the video. And your statement pretty much affirms her point that too many women don’t like to take responsibilities and like to justify their actions . Unfortunately you’re still in victim land.
You are proving her point that you will never take accountability with your actions. Your view is your right he is wrong. Maybe listen to her full episodes and put yourself into your husbands shoes. Your husband should actually leave you, truth be told. You don’t get to decide how your husband feels. He tried to tell you and you dismissed it. That is on you. What you are saying is all men are bad men. It’s your way or the highway, this is the modern woman’s view nowadays.
Please remember you're watching someone else's wife, and she prepares herself in a way that pleases HIM, not you. Don't simp over a woman on the internet, married or not. We gotta have more self-respect as men.
I am not kidding man. I respect man and woman in equal way. If you have problem in your marriage go to a counselor, a therapist, a specialist. With her "preaching" you risk more damage than anything. With love and respect in my heart my advice is to look at your wife, talk to her and see what is going on. There is no "bad" and "good" in marriage, is equal responsibility, equal accountability and equal work to put on. It is equal decision to make in the morning saying "I choose to love you, let make it work". Be careful you risk to ruin and let go a wife based and a person who like to praise only man. Careful careful
