Yeah I kind of think that happens a lot because all of them are living this lavish lifestyle and it seems like they forgot what is was like to not have money. So loni has to be like uh girls there are people that really struggle and dont have money to go but would want to be a part of it and even if given a lot of notice probably still wont be able to save much.
Jessica Adrienne literally said herself that the reason she had a destination wedding was to create a small wedding because she knew not many people would go, meaning that her “New York family” couldn’t afford it. I think that’s kind of rude of her but again it is her dream. I myself would feel so guilty to throw a wedding where I had family or friends who were left out from attending just because they couldn’t afford it. It’s a once and a lifetime occasion (for some) that you never get the opportunity of experiencing unless you’re there.
@@nataliebaker8149 Cant take all family and friends with you everywhere. Better to have genuine people only at your wedding, than to try to be "nice" to everyone and invite people who really shouldn't be there, family or not.
I don't think it's rude... after all it's your big day. But you can't expect a whole lot of people to show up, nor can you hold a grudge if they don't. It is a lot to ask of people.
Yeah that's where I think the word inconsiderate comes in because you get upset at the lack of people. But like they said, immediate family, I'm good with that
Jasmine Carter well they shouldn’t have destination weddings if you going get made at low attendance. No matter what you should always consider your guess in some way.
At 3:01 LONI EXPLAINS WHAT THE REAL TOPIC IS people always get mad when she holds her tongue or withdraw from the discussion... sometimes the ladies misinterpret the point of the topic and Loni is usually the one who has to explain the topic
@Arlynn Whitworth I agree.... she also stated that with her size and skin complexion she can be seen in a negative light for overtalking the ladies....she uses wisdom during girl chat
Rude?!?! No... expensive yes! If I can’t afford it... I’m not going! But I will still send that couple my love and well wishes... however if I could and am really close with that couple , I will do everything in my power to go !
I think its only rude if you don't tell people ahead of time and then suddenly say hey we're going to Paris. If you don't want certain people to come then just don't invite them and let it be known its a small intimate wedding. What kind of grownup can't be upfront and honest and has to do a destination wedding because they can't speak their own mind?
Wxtch Bxtch yea i agree, gotta give people the heads up. But i also don’t think its a bad idea to have a destination wedding knowing most folks won’t show up 🤷🏽♀️ easier than “not inviting” people and having folks feel a way about it lol
J. C. That’s not my problem! If people wanted to come they would make a way and if you really cant and I know you well enough or want you to be there, Ive already made preparations to make sure you’re able to make it.
I knew this segment was gonna revolve around Adrienne and her Paris wedding and as per usual, Loni had to bring it back to the actual question of the topic
Well it would be stupid of her to act like she didn't have a Paris wedding a couple months ago she needs to discuss her perspective since she's the only one that had one
The way Adrienne said I don't want to pay for 250 people to come to my wedding made me realize that rich people stay rich by not spending their money. Smart.
@@fbdidhwbahsuxhsb that's true Financial literary is important I used to think a million dollars was a lot before I realised how quickly it can be spent.
Some people are rude about it though. Inviting people and being okay with whoever can make it is one thing, but sometimes couples expect that certain people will come no matter what (siblings, parents, good friends, etc) Like for example I was best friends with a girl for my entire childhood up until we were in our mid-twenties. We had always talked about our wedding days and how we would be each other’s maids of honor one day. When she got engaged she asked me to be her maid of honor but informed me they were planning a destination wedding. The trip itself, including flights, accommodations, food etc would have costed me over $4000 (she didn’t want to help with those costs), plus she wanted her bridal party to wear expensive dresses that again, she wasn’t pitching in to help pay for. Also she wanted a bachelorette party in our home city that I, along with a couple other bridesmaids, would be responsible for planning and paying for. Her wedding would have cost me over $6,000! I was 24 and struggling to even pay rent, so I had no choice but to turn down the role of MoH. I explained to her that although I very much regretted it, I just couldn’t afford it at that time. She ended up ending our friendship because of it. Again, if you choose a destination wedding intentionally so you don’t have to invite many people, or if you invite people but are understanding of their financial circumstances, that’s totally fine. But people who EXPECT that others will shell out a bunch of money to attend your wedding - that is incredibly rude, in my opinion.
@@beth90 I completely agree, so many expect those close to them can make it and are t understanding when they can't afford it. If theres certain people you want there who can't afford it they would pay if they are that important to them. 6000 dollars us s disgusting amount for you to have to pay and clearly she wasn't a good friend to no longer want a friendship. A friend of mine had 3 destination weddings in one year and those brides also had hen parties in destinations it was extremely expensive and she used all her holidays to go to them. Those getting married really need to take their guests into consideration
it's only rude, if you gon get mad when people can't afford to go to your wedding. otherwise, it's really weird for you to feel like somebody is supposed to accommodate you on their day.
Adrienne keeps bringing it back to her, and Loni and Jeannie are making it more about the question that was stated lol like “for my wedding we did that and that” we know Adrienne
Claudia Barboza I’m telling you! I keep saying it, since she got married she’s been in lala land! Baby making got her brain on ruh-tard mode! She used to be fun but I just want to knock on her forehead and say “Helloooo???? Anyone there?”
Kim’s Gone Keto you’re right, I can definitely understand why she would speak on it. It’s not that I don’t understand why she is talking about her destination wedding it’s the fact that she is solely focusing on her own experience instead of opening up room for other input the whole point of girl chat is to hear other people’s perspectives and introduce new ideas/thoughts to the conversation. I like that she can put forth energy to things that pertain to herself but it gets kind of redundant and bothersome when I all I hear about is herself. That’s where I’m coming from. I appreciate your comment
madison lexi 2:41 Loni and Jeannie expressions back up what I’m saying, like cmon girl we gave you your time to share your experience but we are ready to move on from YOU
Don't spend 30k on a wedding than put zero down payment on a house, maxed out credit cards, zero savings, car loans and for the cherry on top retire broke 🤷🏾♀️
True. One can have a wedding with 10k - 15k with proper planning. White people can actually plan a cute wedding with less than 5k. Nigerians however actually spend 50k - 70k on their weddings😒😒😒😒
Tamera and Loni are true diplomats. I understand that we're not obligated to do things for other people but only Tam and Loni understand that if you're a caring & kind person, you do compromise and consider other people.
Let’s be honest... they can afford to have destination weddings and a good number of people will show up at their weddings Because they’re celebrities 🤷🏽♀️
I disagree. My husband and I got legally married in court on June 5th, 2019. We decided to get married first and then save up for our wedding on June 5th, 2021. We are having a destination wedding in Oahu, Hawaii since he grew up there and still has family living there. I know most of my family members and friends probably can't attend our wedding but we are okay and understand if they can't come. But I know our closest family and friends already know about the wedding and plan to be there for us regardless. We plan to have a small wedding (130 guests). The whole reason for a destination wedding for us was for his family.
I think it's also very cultural. Like I will speak for Africans while it's changing nowadays. In our culture a wedding is a time for both sides of the family to come together, bond and celebrate the married couple cause we marry into the whole extended family not just the immediate part. So definitely doing a destination wedding in that sort of culture is kinda like oohh what is you doing esp if your family.is very traditional...And I ain't gonna lie as an African I prefer our bigger weddings ( if you can afford) cause it's just so lit and fun.
I’m african and watching this made me consider doing a destination wedding . At african weddings often many ‘family members’ you didn’t even know exist will pop up , aunties who apparently ‘changed your diapers ‘ when you were younger and have never checked up on you since etc. and even at the after party , a bunch of friends of friends . A destination wedding would make the people you really want to be there be there , unless you’re into the whole big wedding thing
@@Exploringwithisha that's why I said it's evolving as well. We seeing.more Africans starting to want smaller weddings. To each man their preference at the end of the day. That being said I am like middle class African so most of my relatives ( the people I want there) won't even afford coming if I think of a destination wedding. My grandparents don't got passports and have never left the country so for them it a huge no. So for me that's a nah.
Isha Marie I would defs do a destination wedding because it’s more rude in our culture to not invite certain family members so I would invite them but tell them it’s overseas so they still won’t come 😂
It’s not rude to set a destination wedding but I’ve seen couples actually getting pissed at their guests who don’t want to go lol. THAT I find rude. If I get one week vacation per year at work, I have to use it for your wedding? I’m good luv, enjoy.
How can someone say it’s rude to have a destination wedding lmao? It’s your wedding day and if you’re blessed enough to have it at a certain location then that’s amazing
The segments go like: Tamera, Jeannie and Adrienne discuss the topic And then Loni comes with “No, this is what they’re talking about” “Here’s what they mean”
I want an island wedding. I will have an island wedding. I will probably have it in a place where people don’t need a passport. That is my compromise. Now I just need to get busy finding the husband. 😩
If you wanna pay for everyone to go, then that's fine. It's also fine if you DONT want to pay for people to go, but then you cant get mad when people ain't trying to spend money that they dont really have.. on your wedding.
@THAT GOES WHERE?!? I wouldn't want her to come anyways with that attitude😂 can't even support your own brother on his big day. Idc how i feel towards my brother or his fiance im gonna go.
@@Prince_the_One wouldnt not inviting them create drama during and after the wedding though? Destination wedding you go and whoever can make it makes It and you kinda hope the ones you dont want dont go Lol
@@Jetsgil5477 Yeah but some of the people you don't want can still come so it's not really solving anything by being deceptive. Be a mature adult and just say you want an intimate wedding. Invite everyone else to a separate event like Adrienne did. If some people cause drama because they aren't invited then they'll probably also cause drama because you're having a destination wedding anyway.
@@Prince_the_One yeah. I agree with that. I personally hate drama so if I truly didnt want someone there I'd be upfront about it and say that i don't want them there.
Wxtch Bxtch yall are acting like it all has to coincide with drama. What if someone simply doesn’t want a lot of people at their wedding but they know 100s of people!? Its not about being passive aggressive its about not wanting to pick and choose 🤷🏽♀️
My brother is from Chicago, and moved to Denver almost 13 years ago. He had a small wedding in Denver, guessing 80 guests. Most were friends and family from Chicago. We had a wedding party for them like 6 weeks before the wedding for the family and friends who couldn't afford to go to Denver, but still wanted to celebrate the upcoming marriage.
It is absolutely rude unless you know that the majority of your friends and/or family you will be inviting will have the means. Because it's a hell of a lot to ask someone to travel (especially if it involves flying), pay for their stay, buy you a gift, etc. If you know damn well the majority of your close friends are working-class people without that kind of coin, and you're going to be upset if they aren't there- you can't expect them to use their vacation/leave from work, etc on your wedding.
It's only rude if you assume that the people who can't come don't care about you. For instance, say I'm your first cousin and I love you, but I'm broke and can't come...see, I think it depends on the situation
I had a destination wedding and paid for family and friends to attend so I didn’t consider it rude. What I did consider rude was my husband cheating on me after and making me divorce him 🙊
I wanted a small group, had it locally, and still only invited immediate family! I only had one person at my wedding who I didn’t want there. She was an ex to my brother in law and came as his date to watch their kids because he was in the wedding party. We had 64 people at our wedding and expected 65, so we even got money back for the one less person! I don’t feel bad for not inviting the aunts and cousins who I’m not close with just because they think they should of been there! It was the perfect day with no drama!
My close family member planned a destination wedding and at first of course I was sad because I knew my husband and I wouldn’t be able to go but I was also so happy for her to get her dream wedding on a beach and if it were me and I could have had my wedding in Hawaii I would take that chance too! No hard feelings! It is their special day! :)
My husband And I did this..I wanted a big wedding but no one was willing to help but once they found out I was leaving then everyone like oh I can help..it was too late ..I made up my mind and when I got back I had a reception and whoever didn’t show up that was on them 🤷🏽♀️ .I enjoyed my day nonetheless
Here’s my thing. If you want to have a wedding in a far destination, go! But don’t get upset when certain ppl say no. And don’t act like your wedding day is an obligation to others financially Bc it’s not!
I had a destination wedding and made sure everyone knew that I wanted it very small and only wanted immediate family only at the ceremony. My dream wedding was everything I wanted and more. I came home and had a party with everyone else. Nobody got there feelings hurt, because they all knew from the beginning what I was doing
🥰CONGRATULATIONS DESTIBRIDE! I like that you had the party at home, we got married in Mexico and decided against it, but I love the idea! Would love to connect and possibly interview you on my podcast! I interview destination wedding couples to share experiences + advice - It's called the DESTI Guide to Destination Weddings! Check me out! 💕
🤸🏾♀️YES TO ALLL OF THIS! Adrienne hit the nail on the head! It’s a celebration of love and let people have their dream wedding! 🙌🏾 I’m a Proud DestiBride - Mexico 2017 (whoop whoop🤣) and I also host a podcast where I interview other destination wedding couples so I’ve heard alll the stories. Most times people THINK they’re expected to attend, but the reality is more like I’m having a destination wedding…come if you want. And some couples already “know” you're not coming, but invite you anyway - sounds like what Adrienne did and it backfired. I always advise brides to only invite what you can afford and want because nowadays people are more likely to accept for the travel experience. I LOVE DESTINATION WEDDINGS!!! 💕🛫 👰🏾💍💕
Your wedding. Have it where you want with who you want. Give notice. Be prepared for people to say no. Or be prepared to pay for a few people. Be prepared to throw a reception when you get back. Also stop inviting people out of obligation... invite who you TRULY want to celebrate the day with. Can be expensive but you could do your honeymoon in one or if you have kids spend the time tying the family together.
I've always thought destination weddings were a good way to weed out the people you don't really want around. Say you've got a cousin Karen. Hella annoying and rude, but also a mother of four! She can't afford to go. She's been invited but won't be around to ruin your day! 🤩
I don’t think it’s rude just don’t expect many people at your wedding. Have your wedding wherever you like, just don’t be let down when only 10 out of the 100 are in attendance 😂
I wish they went back to talking about topics that were NOT related to relationships , sex and marriage. The earlier seasons with Tamar at least had a variety but now 8/10 of them relate to it and as a single girl all I can do is not relate #berelatable - a young single one should be added to this show !
My sister is having her wedding in flordia, I am just starting off on my own and can't afford the trip, she is mad at me for refusing to go to her wedding. I think it is pretty rude of her to do such. If a couple is going to have a wedding away from their hometown, they should be prepared for some of their invitees to not be able to come.
I think if you’re going to have a destination then you should be prepared to either pay for/contribute to people’s tickets/accommodation. I wouldn’t go if I was skint, it doesn’t matter who it is - I’ve got rent and bills to pay, they come first.
JessicaAmy145 I pay for people’s tickets and hotels secretly + an envelope of “allowance” money for those who are unable to afford to come but I really wanted to come. The rest of the guests needed to RSVP on their own expenses
Adrienne said she didnt want to pay to accommodate 250 people at a local wedding. but just a flight to paris, business or first class, can cost over 10k. Wouldn't 10k be enough to cover 250 people at a local wedding? 🤔
I had a destination wedding & we gave guest a year notice. We did it because it was cost effective. Our 250 guest list turned into 55. I agree the couple shouldn’t be upset if certain people can’t attend, it’s expected. We saved a lot of money & was able to purchase our house when we returned from our destination wedding
My family is from Maine, my husband's family is from all over and we live in Connecticut... We got married in Connecticut and some found it rude. But we didn't care! It's our day. Those who truly cared for us made the 5 hour drive or fly over for our day.
I had a family member tell me 6 months before their wedding date that they were having a destination wedding. I had to decline because we simply couldn’t afford to go. It sucked but that wasn’t enough notice to save money for us to go.
Tbh nowadays weddings aren’t even about love and the couple anymore.... they’re about social media stunting and family expectations. I really don’t care about how big my wedding is, I actually want a destination wedding so I limit the number of fake people there lol
It isn't necessarily rude, but it is inconsiderate. You have family and friends that have been there for you. I agree with Tamara. People want to be a part of your happiness. Some people have family, work, schedules they have to keep. They may want to be there so bad but just can't afford it.
I feel it’s rude if there isn’t advance notice. And I’m sure no one wants to get married and their friends/family can’t come because they couldn’t afford it or save up for it. Ultimately it’s the couples day though so do what tf you want to do.
When my sister got engaged back in 2002, she decided to have a destination wedding in Jamaica, with the venue also doubling as their honeymoon destination. The majority of both immediate families were able to attend, except for my grandmother who was in a wheelchair. We were there for four days, attended the wedding which she also videotaped. When they arrived back in the states a few days later they hosted a big reception for everyone who were unable to attend and showed the footage of the wedding as well. No one felt slighted or left out as a result. She picked Jamaica because it was part of my family heritage, plus we have family there as well who attended so it became a small family reunion.
Not only is finances an issue but also highlights the issue of ageism and ableism. I would make sure the location is accessible and not too strenuous to travel for the elderly and those who are not able to travel long distances
What if where you're from seems like a destination wedding for some people? For instance, I'm from the Caribbean and currently live in the states. I've always planned on getting married in my home country where my family is, but know that it may be an expensive trip for some of my friends and future fiance's family here in the states.
I think it is rude if you have a destination wedding and you act like everyone has the time and money to just drop everything and fly to fiji yknow? My friends parents had one and sent out all these invites and about 30 people came and her mother said it wasn't fun because her own sister couldn't make it. I understand the whole fairytale wedding thing but id rather have my wedding at home and have all my friends and family watch me get married than go to paris and only 20 people show up.
My aunt is planning a destination wedding... her and her mans are pretty well off going skiing all the time, cruises etc. she damn well knows my family and I cannot even begin to afford to go any where but she hasn’t mentioned anything about paying our way.. so if it’s that important for 1. you to have a destination wedding and 2. If you want your family to be there, you’d think about that before planning or let us know you got us with flights and hotels. Cause other than that auntie I ain’t going sorry not sorry
yeah but you cannot expect someone to spend like on a 1000 dollar flight just to pleasure the bride. thats why the hosts have to accept if others say no
I’ve never been married but, this is also a toughie, depending upon culture. I work with a number of people who are from India and, although I don’t know much about Indian weddings, my impression is that, despite the fact that they and, perhaps, many of their friends and family members are in the US, when it comes time for a wedding, it is likely to be held in India, for days and, if you’re invited, you’re expected to be there. Like it’s almost assumed that, you’re saving for the possibility of going to a wedding, the same way you’d save for retirement.
It depends on what your priority is for your wedding. And be realistic with yourself about the type of guests you plan to invite. Like you may be able to afford things like traveling for a friend's wedding; but some friends might not be able to afford even a babysitter for the night of the wedding, much less getting days off from work.
Yes, right now in fact today my cousin who I love so dear is getting married in France but due to another family wedding being held at home in 2 weeks I could not afford to go to first one gutted not to see him getting hitched...Weddings aboard r too expensive c'mon and it's not fair on the family
I really like Tam's idea! i would def elope in like the bahamas, have a honeymoon there and celebrate with my family here in NY. I will say that for regular ppl, most of their family can't afford destination weddings so it makes things difficult for sure!
It’s your day, yes....but there are also people who love you who want to be a part of it, and the cost is unrealistic. If you’re not a celebrity with wealthy friends, it is important to find a way to include everyone. Going to a destination wedding is costly....missing work hours, plus airfare and hotel, etc. It’s not right to expect anyone to “save up” to go to your wedding. Have a local reception afterwards, or compromise a bit on your ideas to make sure all loved ones can participate. The memories of having everyone around you are well worth a little sacrifice.
I had my wedding in Jamaica, I let my family and friends know 2 half years before. Also because it was the second time to this hotel I got discounts for everyone that ended up costing 1200$ per adult. I wanted a small beach wedding and I understood people who couldn’t come.
My older cousing was having his wedding in Ibeza but we live in Scotland. Its a long trip and it was waaaayyy too expensive so we couldnt go. However its not my day its theirs and they deserve to have their perfect wedding.