To those criticizing Jeannie for saying "Closet space is important to her" it's not superficial when that's your livelihood. I think people forget that Jeannie is FIRST a fashion person (that's how she got into the industry & how she got on this talk show). And she really prides herself on using fashion to help people feel better about themselves. It's not just clothes for her, it's her identity. I applaud her on knowing what's important to her and not giving that up for a relationship.
So true clothes are things right but also a way to express yourself. As a fashion person clearly Jeannie's clothes are a part of her identity. I can totally understand
TheRmirror exactly! I swear these people in the comment section are making it out like material things are all she cares about. For Jeannie, fashion is much deeper then just things.
JoShauna Collier If your idea of a selfish woman is a woman who works hard on something she is passionate about, then I have a feeling you and I will disagree on a lot of things.
nyajuol both sometimes family get in the way of a personal relationship. Too many opinions and messy ppl and controling ppl in some ppl family so the person give up family for their lover......get it?
9 THINGS TO NEVER GIVE UP! Speak it Loni: * Your independence * Your happiness * Your dreams & goals * Your self respect * Your beliefs * Your friends & family * Your privacy * Your identity * Your ability to make decisions
Tamera is so right about losing yourself. I got married and started a family before college. My husband just provided such a wonderful life for me, I almost forgot about college. I was full and ready to be a stay-at-home mom and homemaker, living like Snow White, forgetting that I had goals and dreams. I snapped out of it and I'm halfway with my bachelors now. But yes, when you're in a relationship. Healthy or unhealthy. You could lose yourself. You could lose yourself in the happiness or lose yourself in the dysfunction. It's so important to be strong minded and sure of yourself first before committing to another.
Tamar, that's not what they're talking about. Cutting out toxic friends are acceptable. Cutting off all of your friends to plz him and be around him always, isn't.
+VONiiE8 That's the same thing I was saying, If he wants you to drop your real loyal friends, it's a problem. Those toxic friends should have been done away a long time ago.
+Victoria Abbey I'm pretty sure the rules meant like you shouldn't give up all friends. Like, your A1 since day 1 who's had your back always and wants nothing but the best for you. Don't give them up bc you want to spend all your time with your s/o. Don't give them up bc he don't like her. Things like that. If Debbie ain't that kinda chick, then they weren't talking about Debbie. I get what Tamar is saying, but she was slightly off topic.
it's subject to interpretation just like how everyone in this thread interpreted it in different ways. Hence, there are men and women out there who might take it literally to mean don't give up any of your friends and then there are those who will interpret it the way Tamar has...
VONiiE8 That’s Exactly what they’re talking about because a lot of times you have toxic friends that you don’t know are toxic until someone else comes around.
Sometimes I wonder if Tamera even realize how humble and unique she is... like for real.. like Self-Confidence should be her Middle name... She truly respect her self and others and is very loyal to her family and friends.. Just having that much confidence and self esteem.. your truly blessed. Tay Tay is so Amazing talk about such a brave and empowering woman she is.. Like Having to do so much at once is Hard but Tamar makes it seems so easy because she's a strong woman and she's very fierce and caring... Jeannie is absolutely Well grounded.. So much courage she gives others and is very passionate When it comes on to what she believes in. she's so Loving and such a great person with a beautiful personality.. Loni is what you call a carefree person never let anyone get in the way of her being happy jovial. Gosh sometimes I wish I had that much confidence and loyalty she has.. A very brilliant woman and very affectionate to others that's why she's called Loni Love. Adrienne is so determine to make a strong impression and to make the world know that she stands in what she knows is right and NEVER tolerate wrong doings she always look out for others and always stay true to her roots and her beliefs..
yesssss it really gives me life to see someone that is not hating on one of the hosts or favoring one and bashing the others, thank you, this is so refreshing
I was forced to give up so many of these.. friends, identity, privacy, making my own decisions.. thank the lord I was strong enough to leave that SOB and found my hubby who treats me so nice.. I'm blessed
I always tell any man I meet. I will love you to the ends of the earth but I love me more. I am always going to take care of myself. That's why I think its very important for women to live by themselves for a while. You realize who you are, the sacrifices you have to make to make life good for yourself. So you have zero tolerance for someone coming in trying to dictate that or change it such a degree you don't recognize who you are anymore. .You learn that your mate has to be willing to give up as much as they want you to. We have to jump this ship together. I'm not going to be out in the ocean and you on the deck like naw I'm good.
Heart Break Hotel Inc have to disagree with that first comment of yours. a marriage is supposed to mirror christ's relationship with the church. Do you think God would ever say to his disciples 'I love you but I love me more", do you think his disciples would ever say that to him? NO!
Heart Break Hotel Inc that's not good at all love is loving the other person I'm assuming you aren't in a relationship because you really should love the other more then them I sacrifice everything for her I have given up dreams from 5 years old for her I would give my life in a second love isn't loving yourself more
I think privacy is referring to the ability to have private conversations with people. Your husband/bf doesnt need to own EVERYTHING that happens between your parents or friends. Some conflicts and information you have with other people shouldnt be shared with ur spouse, out of respect for the friend or family member.
+Naturally Sadie To me, when we get married you are my family. Me and Him are one now so it's ok for him to know what's going on (most times) and feel like he is apart of the family and possibly help. However, I don't think everything that's going on in the relationship should be shared with ALL of your family because they may be biased, not know how to handle the information...etc.
@@SwEetgrl113 yeh but sometimes people tell you stuff that they don't want anyone else to know. Someone cab be close to you and not your husband so don't feel comfortable with him knowing certain stuff.
Sadia Ahmed No. in this case privacy is referring to you still being able to go out friends and have fun. It’s personal time and space. When you’re married there’s no such thing as privacy when it comes to bank info, or cellphone or computers. When file taxes you have to file them together. Really it’s about sill taking time for yourself doing what you love. You don’t have to go everywhere he goes and vice versa. It’s no different than each of you having your own study to retreat to work on hobbies or etc so as long as you’re both in the same room and bed at end of the night.
White Tea and Peonies I know I quit school for my son dad I was suppose to be a social worker that turns toxic I ended up going back for nursing and I’ll never allow a guy to do that for me again
This is an outfit that originates from South Asia (Indian) however this outfit is also found In morroco.similar styles in these exotic countries. I am south Asian and I have an outfit like this. I am proud to be from South Asia we have such beautiful outfits. I love it when people from different backgrounds wear it. It looks so beautiful on them. Jeannie looks stunning In it. I love that she's open to different cultures and wears stuff from our countries ☺️
I know EXACTLY what Tamar is saying. I had to let most of my friends go cause they were toxic. And not real friends at all. And it took me a very VERY long time to realize. I mean 10 plus years. But once I got with my fiancé he helped me open my eyes to how awful they treated me and walked all over me. Thankfully now I have some amazing friends that I've made!!!
Tamera was all the way real! I love it! Jeanie was too because she already said this in a previous chat about how she can hold her own and she loves Freddie but if they don't stay together she'd be fine.
Omg I agree with Tamera. I've been married for about 2 years now and I completely lost myself. I just woke up the other day, looked in the mirror and was like grrrl, what happened to you? Now I'm working on getting to know myself again and regaining that strength that I once had. I have my own channel now and it has made me so happy! I'm finally starting to do somethings for ME.
i always sensed that identity thing about tamera. and i always thought it was annoying. all she seems to be is a wife and a mom. am glad she realized it.
+Cassandra Muzik i knew i wasnt crazy. i didn ssy anything bfore this clip because i didnt want to be rude but all she seem to have going on is her huband and kids lol
I disagree to some extent. I think there is no harder or greater or more important identity or career than raising good, kind, moral healthy children and lovin on a good moral man. That is a super high priority for me. But that said, it's key that you're centered and healthy yourself and have some restorative down time. It's valuable to connect with other moms and to keep a favorite hobby even if you a primarily a homemaker. My mom raised 8 kids and no one has EVER worked harder than she did and by making that her career she made our home a total heaven on earth. I'm forever thankful to her. Some are career women etc etc and that's all great too. I just needed to speak up for the family unit because it has unequalled value in this world and to do it well is very time consuming and often very very HARD.
First of all, I'm glad Tamar dumped the blonde hair 'cause honestly child it looked redunkulous! Second of all, she looks drop dead gorgeous with this wonderful look. Tamar you flawless! I do agree with Tamera. I lose myself 'cause I enjoyed being pampered by my man. It's not that my man commanded to be the caretaker, he's just that way, naturally. Like Tamar said in one of their older videos (let your man take care of you), so I totally get Tamera.
I disagree to a certain extent about privacy. I've been with my bf for 4 years and we still have our privacy. If he asks me seriously about something then I'll show it but there's a sense of security having things to yourself. I have nothing to hide but it still bothers me to think someone would go through my phone. You have to trust me because I've proven to be loyal, not because you're running routine security checks to make sure I'm loyal.
+Jay Garcia It all boils down to trust, respect and how much you are willing to give yourself up to a person. In your point you said it bothers you to think someone would go through your phone. I can understand a stranger, but your bf? of 4 years? Why not? My husband has the passcode to my phone. But at no point does he go through my texts, pictures, etc. Why? Because I have NOT given him a reason to think there is something shady in there. Picture this:Scene 1:I'm cooking and hubby (H) wants a number. H - Bae, can I have that number? Me: Sure, go get in my phone, I'm a bit busy now. Scene 2:I'm cooking and H wants a number. H - Bae, can I have that number? Me: Sure, let ME go get my phone. H: I'll go get it! You're busy. Me: No, I don't want you to go through my phone. H: Why, are you hiding something?The fact that you said that he HAS to trust you because you are loyal means nothing if you can't ALWAYS show it. And if he's doing a regular security check, then he definitely doesn't trust you. At some point you will have to wonder why he is still a bf and not a husband.
TheBayBeeTJ01 If I were to say I was an honest person, people would believe me. If I said I was a funny person, people would believe me. They would believe me until I proved them otherwise. That's my point. I say than I am loyal, so you will believe me because I've done nothing to prove you otherwise. If my bf were to ask me for a number, I would say grab my phone, here's my password. If he asks me for my password so he can look through my phone, then that's a problem. I'm secure enough in my relationship to say that I'm not threatened by my bf having his own life. I don't have the need to know everything he's a part of and I respect the fact that he might keep things to himself. We have built a strong enough base for me not to feel suspicious. Luckily, I found someone who thinks similarly to myself and gives me the same curtesy. Also, not everyone believes in marriage. I mean, even people who believe in marriage don't really believe in its sanctity with a national divorce rate of 50%. I would personally like to get married once I reach my early 30s, but I was just trying to say that's not everyone's goal so that isn't really a measure for one's relationship.
+TheBayBeeTJ01 I think what she was saying was that it would bother her if he were to go through her phone reading her texts snooping and trying to uncover evidence that isn't there, not that she wouldn't allow him to access her phone (with her knowledge) to get something either she or he needed (like a phone number).
Tamar is old school and real that's why we love her ! she drops jewel just listen . She tells you things like a mother would say or even a grandmother #wisdomispower
Maybe I'm out of the norm but I don't believe one can be "independent" in marriage. I think having that attitude is what has led to many divorces. You are two that become one flesh. So you have to learn to get along and submit to each other.
You absolutely can be independent within a marriage. Similar to what Tamera explained. And you still very much are an individual despite being married too. You should never sacrifice your self identity or anything else about yourself, your goals/dreams or your support systems (such as your family and true friendships). Because God forbid that marriage deteriorates and you have to split. You have to rely on yourself and stand on your own two feet again.
+Tiffany Rayne The thing is, that it's not sacrificing your dreams, goals, or support system, it's about merging them. As the original commenter said "one flesh" All of those things can remain but ultimately it's a merger. My goals and dreams have turned to "our" goals and dreams but they are the same dreams. My support system has turned into our support system. This is the ideal and very possible if you choose the right partner. Together your better. if you're not willing to compromise and group your partners goals, etc. I don't recommend getting married.
I love all of them!! But Tamera and Tamar are my favorites, their advice is always REAL! Jeannie is always quick to change her mind after she hears what Tamar and Tamera say! Tamar and Tamera are the leaders when it comes to topics like this!! Tamar will be missed so much !!
I love this!!!!!! They really are earning their name 'The Real' with this real ass conversation lol . Bringing up and talking about something that i think a lot of people need to hear and be reminded of!
Something are meant to be private though , if me and my husband shared EVERYTHING under light i dont think it would've gone far, there are something i talking with my homegirls and my mom that he should not know and what ever he talk with his homeboys and mom that i should Not know, if it has something to do with my marriage then yes we both need to know been together for 12 years and it has worked perfectly
One thing I wouldn't let go in a relationship is having a time for myself. I will always allocate my time for yoga and doing healthy stuff because that's part of my lifestyle and no one can take that away from me.
I think it’s different when you’re being forced to give up these things, and when you just happen to fall into it and forget about yourself like Tamera said! I’ve definitely forgotten myself in my relationship a bit, but I bring it up and my boyfriend encourages me to spend less time with him and to have other relationships with people (like friend and family relationships lol)
Especially if your a designer, or someone who works in the fashion industry its not superficial to have a large closet space nor prideful. its a representation of your accomplishments, shows you how far youve gone, it shows your talent. pretty much
Newlywed and I can say we’re good with everything. We have love and respect for each other. He goes with his friends and I go with mine. Neither one of us is the “you better text all night” but we respect each other enough to let the other know what’s going on. It’s only been 8 months and we’re doing good but it’s always a great reminder to not sacrifice these important things in a relationship
Damn tamera, I hope you do find back your independence. You and adam are goals but sometimes I feel like if something went wrong (God forbid) you couldn't survive.
+Leeya thompson I think she just wants to give herself to someone. I've been in her place before. It seems hard to get through it when things go sour- but you gotta have a backbone. :*
+AquaLand I think it's good that she is "one" with him. They definitely seem like it. And she definitely would be devastated if anything went wrong, as she should be considering that he is the other half of her. I love their family setup, it's so refreshing to see that type of love.
+Leeya thompson but she was Tamera Mowry before she was Tamera Housley (however you spell it). I get what you mean he definitely is apart of her identity but she seemed to survive before he came along.
What an invaluable show! I gave up all of that and more when I was married including the medical help I needed. That was 15 yrs ago and I’m still suffering for those decisions. Ladies… never put your husband’s need, etc. above yours. You will eventually regret that emotionally, psychologically and financially. ❤❤❤❤
I enjoyed this conversation as well. Bringing up and talking about something that I think a lot of people needs to hear and be reminded of when it comes to relationships.
For all saying Jeanie bs her answer, I believe Jeanie believes what she's saying, not only that but ima go on record and say Jeanie married the type of man she did so she didn't have to sacrifice those things hints her not having a kid.... Jeanie wears the pants in that Marriege & that's not a bad thing they are yin and yang Jeanie a little hood & her husband a square white guy it works out
jeannie is a poor ghetto Asian girl at heart...but she took herself out the hood to save her life...just BECAUSE u like something does not mean its good for you..them thugs she like was not gonna get her no place in life...its just like a hood girl to value her clothes on the same level as everything else on that list...
JoShauna Collier Bullshit Jeannie let her mamma run her , She obviously married a little mitch, had she married a black man he sure as hell wouldn't be on his knees trying to please her.
Hearing Tamera talk about this reminds me of that episode on Tia and Tamera the reality show when Tia told her off for this sams thing. She was all about Adam Adam Adam and ignored the rest of her life.
I appreciate this video. It's has a good message in it where everyone can benefit from. I also feel it's an addition to Addicted to your significant other video where every one had comments about Tamera's identity (even though it was recorded months apart). Good to see she knows not to lose herself in her marriage.
9 THINGS TO NEVER UP! Speak it Loni 1. your independence 2. your Happiness 3. your Dreams & Goals 4 . your Self Respect 5. your beliefs 6. your Friends & Family 7. your Privacy 8. your identity 9. your Ability to make decisions
tamar and Tamera was a good 1 2 punch,..cus both of them leveled out each other..now with tamar gone people realized (including myself) how annoying Tamera can be/is
This was an AWESOME!!! segment. And very true. I would add bank accounts/finances. Some ppl are irresponsible and expect you to pick up their slack. I think you need a financial identity outside of your relationship too.
Ooh yes number six, I had to learn to let go after one relationship. I had to let a few family members and friends go. I swear hearing from them I was not good enough to be with the person I am with and I swear to God I hate that I felt like damn when they tried to get with him and I had to realize it was not ok.
I agree with Jeannie. I won't give up what I worked for years for- closet space. Those dresses, suits, and shoes, the makeup, the hair, and the jewels are off limits.
Tamara has a short attention span. I don’t know if you ever noticed, she can rock back and forth and daze out the conversation. I am assuming thats why Tamar took them, she doesn’t want Tamara to lose focus and that wasn’t her cards per say that was the list
Lol smh 2:34. Tamar is so abrasive in contrast to Tamera's polite & daintiness. Even Loni got a little annoyed that she snatched the card out of her hand. They had good points though.
M.C.rush I didn't even half ass agree with Tamar. She thinks her opinion is everything and the sole purpose. It's annoying to hear her be loud and ish as Tamara is talking
+lipsohlips97 Not that hard to understand, I grow up with people talking like Tamar. I talk like Tamar when I get heated. She just talks with a little ghettolicious and gay slang flare.
+lipsohlips97 I feel the same! She should just speak in a straightforward way instead of the 3rd person language and slang for every word, it gets confusing.
Yassssss! Tam Tam and Tamar was PREACHING !!!! No offense but when Adrienne started talking I was like girl be quiet you can't give nobody some advice lol
I understand completely what Tamera is saying about losing yourself and wanting to be a good wife 1st. I did that my 1st year of marriage. but if I didn't find myself we wouldn't still be married 5 years later. it's important to stay an individual and be true to you!
Great topic! Very important for everyone to understand this...can I just say that I am loving all of their looks today- especially Tamar and Jeannie's hairstyles! :)
I agree with Tamar, the friends part just happens they start to show their true colors/feelings about you when you get into a relationship. That's why most married couples or couples that have been together for a long time usually don't have friends unless they're also married or have been together for a long time.
My ex-boyfriend HATED HATED my "best friend" and at one point he actually told me to stay away from her which I did for about 6 months until he & I broke up then she and I started talking again, anyway took me 3 years to realize he was right! She was a fake best friend. He was right all along but she made me feel guilty for believing him.
Oh, don't I know! These days I'll fade away from you with the quickness if I sense you're a user or a complete waste of human interaction. Those naïve, easily hurt days are in the distant past. I stay guarded up and gauge situations and people very carefully.
