Are INFJs Obsessed with Meaning and Understanding? 

I can't speak for all INFJs but personally I feel that I tend to fixate on ideas, people, situations and even the past. I have so many questions and most of them seem unorthodox. I research constantly. There has to be more than what we see and what we say. I'm a quiet person and when I talk, usually because people always ask, what's wrong or why are you being so quiet people run for the hills with what I have to say. I wish I could be simple instead of complex. All that I crave is for one person that not only hears me but can conceptualize as well.

Reading the ambience of a situation it's almost how Japanese people act to be in harmony. As an infj, I always felt different from the rest of the people. When I was a little child I already knew and worked towards my goal of being an artist, while my school mates were only having fun going to parties 😂... As the meaning thing, there was a time I stopped creating art because I felt there was no meaning to draw just for improving. I felt I reached the goal of being good with my art, and to keep motivated, I had to find other meaning like drawing to deliver a message to the viewers. Anyways, I wanted to say I like your videos 😊.

thanks for your effort in producing these videos. as an INFJ, it’s nice to be validated on who I am so as to not feel insane compared to the majority of others

The segment about you playing devils advocate & dealing with people that instantly slap you in the enemy box was so validating to listen to. I complain about tribal thinking all the time & often feel like an outlier. The piggy in the middle on most issues, even if I hold a strong opinion myself.

Listening to you is almost therapeutic for me! Love that!! Thank you, Clay!

I’ve been in the loop/came to the same conclusion of what’s the point in anything. I was severely depressed for years as a teen… choked on all the deepest meaning/beauty in life…tried to swallow but couldn’t digest the meaning. No one else around me seemed to notice nor care or ever flinch as if the meaning/depth/mystery of it all was invisible. I try out new truths /theories all day attempting to find the unseen meaning…at times I come to a new truth and cry… joy not sadness. Thank you for reaching out and letting us know we are not alone.

Hi Clay, everything you just describe is true to the T for me. I think what I struggle the most is with my need to understand everything fully and deeply. What is most frustrating is knowing that sometimes we can't have the full picture. Another great point that you made was about observing people very closely and basically trying to stop yourself from getting to conclusions too quickly, but I love people watching and paying attention to all the subtitles, which explains why we burnt out so quickly. It's the intensity and depth to which we pursue understanding.

Relatable! It's true that not all the people seem to care about the meaning of life like some types do.seeing people like you talking about this makes me feel less lonely.

"How can you party at a time like this!?" 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Spot on!

Hello Clay. My experience in these times of craziness and upside down meaning, has led me to withdraw from most interactions. When the deep need for understanding can find no basis of logic, it’s seems to TILT my ability to engage. Research. Reading. Seeking to understand what is happening, in order to “steer” my boat through what I “feel” is coming. This lack of desire to Mingle,.. has its own price. I hope you’re well. Listing to your videos gives me a sense, that I’m not alone. Human connection has become very difficult for me. I know it’s not a positive position. Thanks for your posts.

This video was a complete summary of what I'm like, down to the tee, incredibly accurate. I appreciate so much the explanation of Se because i just did not have any grasp on what it even meant and now i feel as though I have more context and I'm really thankful for that. You mentioned being able to find someone who can go down with you and really be with you in your experience of deep questions. What types would you say best compliment that, and maybe which ones don't as much? Maybe a video finding an important quality that each type brings to an INFJs' life, something like that? But all in all amazing video, really appreciate the content, it makes me feel understood and heard

Wow! This was such a brilliant video Clay. One of your very best. I have learnt so much from your insights here. Thank you so much for explaining myself to myself as an INFJ. Blessings from Wales ..🔥🙏

I wonder how trauma can impact an INFJ’s processing. Say an INFJ child grows up in a household that rejects introverted intuition, similarly to how you stated in the video, what kind of effect would that have in relation to their personality? Maybe punishment towards extroverted sensing? What kind of behaviors and effects would belittlement of both functions have on an INFJ? And what relationship does trauma have with personality type, and INFJ’s specifically? Always love your videos, Clay! Keep it up!

I tend to have this common struggle with meaning, or at least conflict with it. I dive so much into the understanding of everything, relate myself to things, dive deeply into its waters. Once the pressure gets too high, I just let go and almost swim back up. Hopefully that analogy makes since I often have to resort to this sensing mode as a form of meditation. Going to a soft quiet place in nature often helps ground me. I just lay down and experience the world passing. Especially when I find myself alone with no one to talk to because I’ll just hyper fixate on everything Lately I’ve just been looking for harmony, it feels nice to have this insight on myself, but also to exist with others and trying to just be in this balance of everything

Found your channel about a week ago and been watching as many videos as I can in my free time. I'm not sure how rare we male INFJs are but I've never met one that I know of in my life except online. I really realte to many of the thoughts and experiences you've had. My girlfriend has been watching too (she's an ESFJ) and it's been helping her to understand me better as well. Keep up the great work!

I get anxious before I do something unknown too. I feel like have to over-prepare for unknown situations in order to feel less anxious. Not sure if that's an INFJ thing or just me.

The missing leg is mystery. We NEED the wriggle room mystery and magick provide. It would kill us to have all the answers. We would become stultified, stagnant and eventually life would indeed be meaningless and we would go quickly insane:)

What i hate is many who learn of the Myers test don't go to learn which personality type they are like. Instead they look up what they want and fake answers to get it. I'm INFJ, yet saw so many people fake their way to get that result only because it was rarest or they knew someone as an INFJ.

*Re-search often is Me-search* ... Thus what you seek IS you or as Rumi put it, "What you seek is also seeking you." 🙏🏾✨️ #zen

Your videos are such an encouragement. Please keep making content! It’s nice to know there’s more people out there who think like I do. It can feel really discouraging sometimes.

I'm continuing to watch all of your videos, because you resemble the person I always had in mind I wanted to be, to grow the way you did and it really helps me to better understand myself and what I really want, instead of focusing what other people want from me. Even the things you do in life, like photography, creating video games, e-shop which I dream to have one day myself, but I always see lots of different shiny things and don't know which path I should choose. It's like you all figured it out and your finished thoughts is something I always think about but haven't completely thought them through. It's just so weird to see sort of a version of myself that I could be one day :) Anyways, really glad that I found your channel and it makes a lot of things clearer to me. Thank you for it!

Wow! I go on “benders” and literally saturate myself in information and diverse opinions on a subject just to try to understand, learn and hopefully form a somewhat educated opinion on it. It can almost feel like an obsession to understand a certain subject. I will persist for how ever long it takes for me to feel like I have a good understanding of varying/opposing viewpoints . It’s like I am compelled somehow to understand at the deepest level that I am capable of.

Thank you for the video, Clay. I had to laugh when you mentioned playing devils advocate. Cause I really enjoy it. Sometimes it seems like I'm trolling people. Love your thoughts and examples. Three leg chair is very annoying.

I am 65 and only just discovered that I am an INFJ. It tells me so much about myself. I was raised in a time when my way of thinking and being were best to be repressed. I honestly am only now discovering just how repressed. I am about to retire from a career I hated. Only now do I understand why I hated it. I am turning a page. My new self-understanding and knowledge will be at the forefront for the rest of my days.

I am an INFJ, I do seak for meaning every times. My purpose of life is to create value for other people, such as helping people in need, creating more jobs, make people more happy. Those reasons are important to me because they keep me waking up every morning. Sometime life is too hard for me, I want to exist from it, but When I think of tons of people struggling, I don't want to give up too early...

Hi, I've been watching all of your videos. I am an INFJ too. I appreciate your content very much. My husband and I have been preparing some information for our kids on some subjects that you have hit on. Sometimes it can be valuable to express thoughts with others to help complete the development of concepts by sharing back and forth. You have expressed that you like to at times play devil's advocate. I especially value the idea that you enjoy being friends with women. I am drawn the same way as to being friends with men. Men tend to take any female attention toward them as going in a romantic direction.. I enjoy men alot.. Because of the boundaries that often have to be assumed between men and women there is alot less to share and to enjoy between each other. Would it be ok if sometime soon, I could make a video on some subjects? You could challenge some of my perspectives.I believe that we have some important values in common. I am trying to make a more complete argument toward supporting our teens plus our one young adult child. Narcissistic relatives are pulling them in unhealthy directions at this time. Would being invited to add to a part of a discussion of that sort be mutually good or rewarding for you? If so, please give me quick message. If not, then thanks so much for all that you do. Have a great day! Maria

The meaning of life is. Love. And it’s about making memories

Thanks for putting this into words, fully relate to it. For me it helps to talk to my (InFj) wiser parent about thrse puzzles that we cant solve). I also had a long relationship with someone whom I was trying to solve like a puzzle, I got so obsessed with solving him, that I found myself in dark sensless pit that I had allowed to become so important to me. But I learned that solving these puzzles it becomes an obsession for us sometimes, and you have to recognise it at the moment and let it go, for the time being or forever. I also love to look and analyse ppl but I refrain myself a lot coz I don't want to give the wrong impression to ppl, as they will project their insecurities into you for looking at them few seconds longer. Oh one last but not least thing- that magic back door of insight that Infj have is Intuition. Intuition has lead me to understand spirituality(Im a software engineer too) I believe our intuition is our super power, and how we can serve the world and find our life purpose. Intuition is that back door to the universal knowledge that injf have been blessed with its key. We have to trust it and use it, more than the other tools that we are not natural in.

Wow. So much great thoughts in this video. As an ENFJ, I really do relate so much to that need for always finding the deeper meaning with that Ni. I agree with the oppositional function idea. I’ve been drifting from calling it a function we suck at, and rather it is a function that we may be perpetually uncertain about. We may even overdo it to compensate such as an INTP who is extra polite and tactful. Or me as an ENFJ inhaling as much information on certain select topics as possible and breaking it down to the simplest pieces and reassembling in order to teach as an expert would to all age groups. I think for INFJ, they can be good at sports, and art, etc. But their opposition Se can be a struggle when they either have to get into action rather than perpetually processing simulations and reading into things (as you stated). But if something they didn’t prepare for us thrown at them, they struggle with improvising and handling it in the moment. Especially if it’s a lot of sensory. And I think they can also fail to really see what’s actually happening because they find a quick pattern and fail to verify if that’s REALLY what is happening. They may always be uncertain about what reality REALLY is due to their Ni always questioning it (like Plato did). And I lastly noticed that a lot of times they’re unaware of the things they actually miss in real time. They may overestimate how observant they are, and not know until someone else points out the things they missed. The INFJ nihilistic bent is so true! That’s a big thing I notice with INFJs I coach as well. It’s very unfortunate. I think that’s one of many ways I see them loop and finding meaning in their relationships with friends, family, etc. is often a great way to solve that. So yeah, who you talk to definitely matters! That’s what makes the relationship meaningful. But anyway! Thanks for another insightful video, bro. Always looking forward to them.

The ni ti loop...a difficult way to deal with a divorce...

As a psych nurse, I have different modes. I have a mode where I listen and validate clients. I have another mode where I challenge authority . . . ;) Your vaccine point was spot-on as I enjoy debating both sides of the extreme viewpoints. Ultimately, I am a firm believer in informed consent and your body your choice, at the end of the day, but I have provoked people on both sides of the debate to hysteria. ;)

Thank you, very much the information I had no interest in hearing. Specifically in regards to accepting that sometimes things aren't meant to be understood. Life always looks better in retrospect. Sometimes all you need is a little push in the direction you have no interest in going. Being uncomfortable but pretending to be comfortable is a bewildering state of mind to be in.

This video is so great, Clay. I grew up in a situation where I learned not to trust myself due to child abuse. I had to relearn how to trust myself. So my (INFJ) “oppositional” (I like that too) function is very built up bc that is how I survived.. to watch my environment around my abuser and observe my abuser themself. Interesting. I think my Ni is getting much stronger now, as a 34 year old, but when I was younger it was all but absent. And of course I seem like an alien to everyone but my dad (INTJ) with my struggle for meaning! 😂

sometimes something will happen and several years will go by- and then one random moment, something will click and it will all make sense why it happened. I wonder if any other types do this?

I get hung up on the all encompassing question of "why?" Thus my nose is usually in a book or glued to a computer screen. My television sends me "I miss you" notes. Lol

Enjoy listening to your videos Clay. I'm not pushing religion here but as an INFJ, I have a hunch the way your mind seems to work could really enjoy analyzing the Buddhist philosophy on Middle way/Emptiness. I was introduced to it over 20 years ago and to this day I'm still blown away by it.

I read a quote some years ago, "Some days have questions, other days have answers." That's kind of how things work for me, although it can literally take years for me to understand and get some answers. I guess i'm a slow and deep thinker. :-)

I am definitely stuck in that dark side of falling down into a rabbit hole for the last few months and finding it hard to break free from my current search to understand myself which actually lead me here lol. I think I've been looking for meaning a bit too much lately and been in my head way too often for my own good and fell into a bit a nihilism for a while. Not sure how to break free from my desire to understand myself better which can sometimes, unfortunately, lead me down these rabbit holes in the first place, but I'll figure it out eventually.

Just found your RU-vid channel a couple days ago, and just wanted to thank you for making these videos. Really changing my life by helping me understand myself, which is something I’ve always struggled with whilst growing up. Keep up the great work!!!👍🏾

Video I've been searching for, it's awful that I feel like life is meaningless

I haven't seen the video yet, but as an INFJ, the answer for me specifically is: YES! ABSOLUTELY! 🙄

30:20 actually, a three legged table is more solid upon any surface then a four legged table. That’s why I’m milking stools have three legs so that while they’re in the barn on uneven ground, they will immediately reach a point of solid footing. where is a four legged table out of doors, or even in a restaurant may not sit solidly upon the floor. Typical INFJ observation well from my perspective anyways, thanks Clay you go deep!

Minute 14:41 started “Ahhh…!” moment. I can see decades of consistent burn-out in each workplace directly explained by your words... It’s the people info overload! Bingo. What a lightbulb💡& insightful 🔍 piece. (I will now pullback sooner with the “asking” tendencies with coworkers.)

INFJs like to uncover the hidden. I think one of the most important skills for INFJs with people is to find out as fast as possible if they have a profound base behind their words, or if they are just talking to get an effect (like admiration, validation and so on). In this context I also saw, that mostly-healthy INFJs often like to conquer their shadows. Meaning conquer what fears people. Do you think the weakness in extroverted sensing is the reason why we try to make everything a model where we can put in the logical parts (the ones perceived by extroverted sensing)?

I’ve found that extremely deceptive & manipulative people prey on my need to have an answer and/or to have closure, to create a sort of trauma bond. This is a major factor that leads to a door slam for me. I have to give myself closure, even if it’s not entirely correct and have to convince myself that it’s the reason, in order to close out a toxic cycle.

For me the meaning of life is to be happy and enjoy it but knowing thy purpose is very vexing, i still don't know mine nor do i think i have one

Thank you, Clay! I can relate to this one all too well. 🕊️💙

I definitely am. Every little pattern, synchronicity and experience in the now, I find a metaphorical meaning in. I’m sure I annoy people that aren’t intuitive’s when I do this. I just can’t help it though, because it’s natural for me.

As an INFJ it bugs me that my existential questions DO NOT have provable answers. So I am left with my BEST GUESS. I use my Ni Ti loop to employ my LOGIC. I don't have a INTP friend, but I find listening to them online very helpful. I don't want to go with a nice fantasy of why we are "here". I prefer going with what actually makes sense even if it's dark. Maybe because I'm getting older and have already thought through many life situations. We need to think about other people's situations, not just our own, including other parts of the world. Ask ourselves WHY are certain things happening. You can always distract yourself, but that feeds a fantasy...

Oh wow I agree! Awesome video! :) Also... Ni-Ti is indeed a very lonely place... thank You for these suggestions as I currently struggle with this issue... it's very helpful!

Mhh I definitely related to the part about indulging in quick fix extroverted sensing experiences. My job is quite overwhelming so when I come home I'm pretty drained and at that point I don't really have the energy to actually cook something because that feels stressful to me and I also often feel the need to indulge in eating unhealthy food to feel better. I haven't quite figured out how to solve that yet since my state also makes it so much harder to actually resolve these things

To bring my mind into focus I will make a conscious effort to see the moment the here and now. Use my eyes to look around. Push my conscious mind to feel the exterior and get out of my head

One of my top most mystery I struggled with for a few years was trying understand a logical explanation of the mindset of a friend that unleashed a journey for me of processing my first real encounter of meeting a flat earther unexpectedly. During the pandemic, I discovered key information that helped me achieve a setting in my mind.

I think we might be the true definition of the most open minded and “intelligent” because we are so intune with the reality we are given in the situation. Our function under INFJ gives us purpose due to the sense of meaning and consistency it brings; which is a grounded principle most scientist come to admire later in their life. Maybe being an INFJ is rare and being intelligent is mutually exclusive but what if it isn’t. Remember, we want the world to make sense. I think most geniuses in the past had very much this same ideology. Idk I know I am an INFJ because I agree too much with everyone else in the internet. It has to mean something, doesn’t it? Idk maybe, I’m a crazy INFJ or actual smart I may never know. But both higher intelligence and the INFJ are rare independently of each, or maybe it’s just a lack of trust for intuition. Because ultimately that’s what’s been holding me back as a newly awaken INFJ recently.

I also have this tendency to seek meaning and understanding. It can cause overthinking and it is why I meditate so I can relax my mind. ENFP

As a infj I like looking at people. And my intuition is alive its like I’m reading their mind but the more I learn is based on body language and emotions I sense

INFJ's are not trendy. We like niche subjects. 💡 Rugged phones are also not trendy 📱🔋

This is me. I thought "why do people say the earth is flat?" I just wanted to understand. Couldn't have imagined the journey it would take me on. See my youtube name? Yeah I wasn't a Christian when I thought the earth was a tiny blue dot.

For the issue of religion, I do agree with you that it requires belief, but a religion that limits how much belief is required allows for it to be more reasonable and meaningful. Imagine a religion where the faith is that a giant horse created the universe and the person who created this religion knows this because this horse told them, and that's why everything this person says should be obeyed. Naturally, that would be really hard to believe is true compared to just believing that somewhere, somehow an explanation for why everything exists as it does exists. The first example I gave you is really specific compared to the second example, yet we can understand which is more likely to be true. This is why it's very important to narrow down what a person needs to have faith in to believe in a religion/belief that's meaningful, that gives positive meaning to a person's life. So, for example, my religion's faith is that a flawless good exists, this is the only part of my religion that requires faith, but in having faith that a flawless good exists changes everything, because you have to determine how and where that flawless good exists using logic and reasoning because you have nothing else to use that will allow you to continue to reasonably believe that a flawless good exists. But what is a flawless good? It's a good that cannot be understood as being evil/bad logically or even subjectively when you experience it. But everywhere you can understand in this life, this flawless good does not exist, even time and infinity can be understood as being bad in certain situations, like the time it takes you to wait in traffic or the idea of waiting in a waiting line forever. So, this causes a certain understanding of life to form, that we exist within "a box", not a literal box, but everything that can affect negatively is within a box, and outside of this box is where this flawless good must exist if it does exist. Just the simple faith that a flawless good exists immediately changes so much and the part which you used logic and reasoning to understand can be in error, but it can also be fixed because you're not using faith to determine it, and that is what can make a religion reasonable to believe in.

I totally Approve.You explain us so well.I am also an INFJ

There is really nothing wrong with being obsessed with meaning and understanding. However, there is a limit to the depth of understanding that can come from the human mind. When you come to the end of that exploration i want you to explore the World of Faith which is totally outside of the wisdom inside of the human mind. And it is not theoretical, it is very practical.

I always said inside my head and to some friends to simplify Ni for them is that Ni is a super super super advanced machine learning.

Really enjoyed this topic. I’ve been watching your videos for awhile and I always wondered, what’s the paint color on your walls in your background? Sorry if that’s random, but it’s so alluring. 😆. I’m an aesthetic person (SE).

That phrase: "Come back down to Earth" really destabilize me. 🙃

Hey, Clay! As always, I like to follow the course of your thoughts. I watch some videos to pick up your thoughts, pass through myself and write a book. But it's a secret. By the way, you have great hair. What is the haircut called, how do you take care of your hair? Tell me, I want the same.

Excellent AI analogy, the three legged table metaphor is a bit wonky.

Also understand about people can be sincere and they can be sincerely wrong and I've been in that predicament it's awesome to change when you have new evidence truth is not threatened by a lie but a lie is threatened by the truth Occam's razors also a very good one

I play the piano and I think we can think of the “inferior” function as playing the piano with the left hand (assuming that you’re a righty). There’s versatility to it (the “inferior” function). It’s just different not inferior, there are things that the left hand can do that the right hand can’t, otherwise God would have given us two right hands.

This is me. But especially so after the last ten years and my life upside down and sideways. I’m constantly researching because there is a reason for why this happened. I’ve come to a few conclusions but still want to know more. I wish I could just be satisfied with what I’ve learned, instead of seeking out psychics and astrologers. I had a very dysfunctional childhood and think I was supposed to go through certain things for my life purpose.

Thankyou so much for ths at least I can fnd sme people whm I can relate to. I alwys thought that I am nt nrml even fnding meaning through thngs/ideas but listnin to you feels relief as an INFJ.

Clay I listen to a couple of your videos very intriguing I would suggest To You tovia singer and go to his website and look at what he has to say just a glance and see what you think you're definitely a truther and I agree with you on observable repeatable and testable I hope you have a great day

Just think of this when you make a conclusion about what ever. It’s put to death. So don’t try to conclude about to much and be open about how things or ideas keep evolving. And you don’t need consensus to know what is right

Clay, I have a good question I'm wondering if Aspergers Autism can be confused with INFJ personalities. I find these two are similar. Myself and son live with great difficulties navigating.....

I feel it like you ent nobody in my families cant onder stand mi ❤️

Hey Clay, I love listening to your talks, however the volume level is a little low, and I have my volunteer full blast and still having trouble hearing you while in my late-model car. Thank you for considering

Perfect job for infj may be designing the personalities of AI robots in this climate? This may be a damn slow project though! I wish I could get out of my head long enough to be in a moment and enjoy an experience without contemplating all the facets and ingredients of the experience.

Hope you find the meaning for your life. 🤗

I really enjoyed and related to this video

Subscribed 😁 Hey Clay as a fellow infj I’m really confused about what I want to do as a career, if you have any advice it’d be appreciated

Yeah it's pretty annoying with these existential questions. The deeper you go the less sense everything makes and even when you KNOW the answers don't exist because the questions are wrong and our brain doesn't have the capacity to grasp any of those concepts... you still try to figure it out. For years. And again and again. Thinking there has to be some kind of solution. And the biggest joke is that even if the "real" answer was right in front of you, you would still doubt it. Even when I talk to my other INFJ and INTJ friends, they don't try to go that deep. I don't know why I have to be so obsessed. I just need to know what the universe and reality is and why it is what it is but nobody will ever be able to explain it. We just know it all somehow exists and the rest is a bunch of fairy tales, wild guesses and opinions.

YOU ARE LIKE ME

YES.

I wonder what would a High Ti user entp or intp or estp or istp do? I think they'll assume there is no answer and get on with their lives.

Thank you

How do you know you're no intj?

Can you please increase the volume of this session from your end ..... you speak naturally and it's hard to listen to all the words unless the volume is sufficient .... I am playing at loudest volume but still cant hear comfortably ( the volume of in between ads is ok )... Thanks :)

Too much Ni & not enough Se = catastrophizing

❤️

Jesus Is no more than a prophet, I'm inviting you to Islam brother, Wich is light , Indeed our God is One God, the difference between Christian and Muslim, Is the Chrstian doing blasphemy to Jesus by saying he's God or Son of God, have they not think he [ Jesus ] and her mother used to eat food?, There's no benefits for the merciful to take a sons, our God is One God , The Greatest , The Most Merciful, Worship him alone and say 1 God not 3 it is better for you, that's verse in Qur'an, learn about Islam, and fear Allah indeed Allah is the most merciful, the most forgiving and remember Allah is severe in Penalty. Read Qur'an before u died u got a chance to read it , while u still alive , and see it ur self the light, peace be with you