Are you Self Sabotaging a Clean Home? | Clutterbug Podcast # 185 

I am seeing a therapist. Her name is Cass, and it's called the Clutterbug Podcast. Thank you for doing this for me and all your listeners.

My boss one told me (after I said something negative about myself) don't talk about my friend like that! So I'll say to you, don't talk about my friend like that! You deserve all the things, you deserve the closet and the home you have waited so long for, and you WILL enjoy it 😂

Cass, in all the All Day Declutters on TYHB, you end up crying, telling us we deserve this. You have changed so many lives, including mine. YOU DESERVE THIS! Enjoy your new house. ❤

Very insightful, Cas! I had a similar revelation 20 years ago. I was always in debt until someone told me I was more comfortable being poor than rich. Poor people were good people and rich were unhappy people. Once I grasped this hidden thought I was able to overcome it and now I'm debt free! Enjoy your new home that you both worked for. It's a gift TO each other and a gift for your children ❤️

Oh Cass! Big hugs! As a pastor's wife, I completely understand the guilt of having nice things and struggling to accept that you deserve them. I am worried if I wear something too nice or nice jewelry or such to church that someone will think we are wasting money or that they are paying the pastor too much (not even remotely true). It doesn't matter that my husband and I both work other jobs. It is still hard to give myself that permission. And food and exercise??!? I daily struggle with THAT self-sabotage! So please know that I hear you; I get you. Thank you for being so open and honest. Your willingness to be open and vulnerable is helping so many of us. I wish I could come and help you pack and move. You have helped me so much (along with Dawn and Dana) in transforming my home. It isn't fast or perfect, but I'm getting there and feeling the peace that comes with letting go of the stuff. I'm there with you, body-doubling in spirit! One step at a time. I know you can do it. And I know you deserve it; keep up the good self-talk. ❤

I had the same upbringing and I rebelled against tidy homes. My condescending mantra about tidy homes was "It looks like no one lives here". "I" now have a tidy home (thanks to you, Dawn and Dana). It took 3 years (which included a move), but now it's a lifestyle. Even THAT was a surprise. I told myself NEVER AGAIN, and while that is true, things really do come back in. Gifts and material things are a part of life. De-cluttering HAS to be a lifestyle. Cass, please enjoy your WALK IN CLOSET for all of us who would love to have that and do not (for whatever reason). I think that is every woman's dream closet. 🤤

Oh, Cas, I just love you. Your psychological insightfulness and modeling of growth mindset are an inspiration, and the way you share your experiences so others can have better lives too is such a beautiful, generous thing.❤I hope you enjoy every blingtastic thing about your new house! You deserve it, and more! ❤🏡❤

One more thing, Cass, I have recently realized a new mindset regarding clutter cleaning etc. I have many friends who have hobbies ie painting, sewing, arts and crafts. I don’t do any of that! But I told my daughter recently that decluttering is my new hobby! And as I repeated this to my husband Bruce I was saying a hobby is something to be enjoyed! He asked do you enjoy decluttering and like a light 💡 bulb 💡 moment, I said YES!! It charges me up to do more!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and helping us out here get to a more simple and clutter free life!! ❤Barb

I want to jump on a plane from the UK right now to come help you pack Cass! A light bulb moment for me in the past was that accepting help was not a weakness and that it was actually a gift to those around me who wanted to help and feel useful. I hope you get lots of offers for a packing party Cass 😊 or that you reach out to ask for help so you get to move into your beautiful new home that you deserve feeling loved and worthy and not too frazzled! ❤

We’re all on a healing journey. You bring so much encouragement, inspiration, and value to your audience. Thanks Cass! 🕊🌿🌷✨💕

When your packing say “I deserve this” out loud to yourself. When you get to the new house say “I deserve this, my family deserves this.” When unpacking in your new home “I deserves this my family deserves this” you have to say it out loud so your body registers it and changes your thinking. Keep doing that. New clothing any brand “I deserve this”, new shoes “I deserve this” etc

Thank you for putting all these feelings into words with examples.

It's hard to be resilient sometimes. This was a good convo. It's almost like you're having low-key "survivors guilt," but no one died in this case. You just want to be relatable, and upgrading your house probably feels like you're leaving your relatability behind, so you're dragging your heels and self-sabatoging your move because you probably deep down don't want to feel like you deserve something so nice. Yes, there are a ton of people who don't have a way to get nicer stuff like this, and they also deserve it. It's next to impossible to feel like we CAN get anywhere and have nice things, especially these days when things are ridiculously expensive and out of reach for so many of us. If you can afford to live more comfortably, bonus! Though, I totally get feeling guilt and shame with feeling comfortable when so many people aren't all that fortunate. A lot of hard working people still can't afford a walk-in closet. A lot of people with money are stereotypically snobby, arrogant, jerks and unrelateable. I was lucky enough to know a rich family growing up that if you didn't know their story, you'd never know they were rich. They didn't dress fancy, and they were all smart, curious, down-to-earth people who never turned their nose up at others because of what they had. They were still relateable. You can still be rich and be the same person you were before you had possessions. You're still relateable and humble and do a great job of connecting with your audience. You do deserve this! Thanks again for sharing your feelings and being vulnerable, I know it's hard to do.

I was completely uncomfortable by simply sitting in the driver's seat of an $80K Tesla. I could barely breathe. I had to get out of the vehicle right away. I don't even remember what it looked like inside. I do remember the leather seat and how plush that felt. The moment completely scared me. I just couldn't relate to this type of luxury, or something so expensive. I've been sabotaging myself all my life, I completely understand. Thanks for the conversation.

Kas, you deserve all the good things in your life. The work you do has set so many people free from guilt or clutter to allow them to manage their homes in a style that works for him, that work allowed you to afford to buy a new house with things you've always dreamed of having. So go dance in you walk in closet

Thank you Cas I needed this message today. I understand that most of my problems are inside my own head too. It's such a hopeful message that I can change the narrative and it won't be so so hard to do the things I truly want to do that feel impossible.

I am 66 years old, but I totally understand and relate to how you are feeling about the new house. But please, “don’t do as I do, do as I say” - Please accept and enjoy your new house.

I have cancer, and my house, over the last 8 years since diagnosis, has really gotten bad. But I am a bit more energetic, at least in fits and starts, right now, so I’ve been decluttering as I can! I appreciate your help so much and think that you’re incredibly helpful and positive. I’ve struggled with self sabotage my entire life, but somehow I end up managing to make it through every situation. It ends how it ends, but it always ends, if you know what I mean. Be kinder to yourself! You deserve it 💖🫶🏼💖🫶🏼💖🫶🏼💖🫶🏼

You’re such a beautiful person. Remember your viewers aren’t living stagnant lives either. We’re either moving forward or backwards. Show us how to handle the forward transitions.

Ceilings just made me realize why my move a year ago was SO awful! In 2020 I moved 1,000 miles from a 3/2/2, hoarder- like house to a 2/2 apartment. I was so proud of how i handled it, and purged (and purged!) After 15 months, the landlord decided to raise everyone's rent by $700/ month! My apartment was fine. I'm not picky, I don't need fancy - just a decent area, comfy place. When they raised the rent, i started looking around. Apartments in my 'new' area were at the same, new rates. But: they are all so much nicer. And, valet trash, and hardwood floors, granite counter tops, vaulted ceilings - gorgeous! The apartment I was in needed serious updates and they wanted the same rent I'm paying now. Intellectually, it was a no brainer - right? I got excited and signed the lease. Fast forward to the move. It was a sh** show. Felt like everything was surreal. Felt like a stranger in my own home. Now, I live alone and this place looks like a hoarder lives here. And I realized: I've never had this before. Always struggled, now i don't. I'm 57, and it's new. Your podcast helped me see what I'm doing, and why. Im being you not to do what I did. We've worked hard to get where we are, and we've earned it. We're just not used to it because we've not been 'here' before. How do we not go from where we've always be to where we are now without changing who we are? Guess what!?! I'm still me, and I'm still thrifty. I do have better things than before - but I'm not bougie, lol. Yet, I went back to surrounding myself with piles because it's some bizarre comfort zone. I deserve a new normal, and so do you! Here's a deal: I'll get after now, if you will. You've actually helped me so much, in so many areas. You've shown me my organizing style, which I promise I do use. My clutter is all related to one tiny part of my life. Everything else is organized and put away thanks to you, for the first time in my life. Glennon Doyle is right: "we can do hard things". So let's get after this and get it done. I'm all in. Hope you are, too. Enjoy and embrace your new home and all that it represents. My lease is renewed, and I'm all in 🎈We're on this journey together.

You DO deserve this beautiful house! You have worked for it!

Interesting… my Mom COULD NOT go to bed at night with a dish in the sink. Now I’m the opposite, dishes pile for days and days! I’m not proud of that, but it’s one of the cleaning mental blocks I constantly deal with!! Our home growing up was clean but lived in and not cluttered. I used to think perfect homes were nice but who would want that? Now I want that lol 😂 My sister says “you’re obsessive about your house these days!” Except dishes 🤦🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

Thank you for talking about this. You were speaking for me! When you talked about always buying a used car or not wearing name-brand clothes because of some underlying principle of frugality, it really hit home to me. O totally feel that way. I have often said to my husband that we don't need to increase our possessions or buy fancier or more expensive things when we begin to earn more. We do enjoy that we can make more generous and regular donations to charities of our choice that align with our values. Sometimes I take frugality too far and spend too much time and energy to find something that we need from an online local marketplace instead of spending a little extra money to just go get a new one from the store. In my mind, it's more frugal and environmentally responsible, but it is not always necessary for me to do it that way. We moved from a small urban apartment two years ago to a more spacious detached home with a yard. We needed the space as we had just had our fourth child and we could not find an apartment in the city that reasonably fit our family. I was so happy about our move, but there also was shame in having old friends over that would see our new home. I sometimes feel like I am not allowed to make it nice, furnish or organize or clean or to make it as nice as it could be, as if it would be prideful if I took care of this new home. I have felt a need to rationalize and explain, even though our friends and family have been genuinely happy for us. I am trying to get over the shame and urge to self-sabatage by regularly inviting people over, so I have company coming that motivates me to get moving.

Girl, I feel you sooo bad… I think you have a deeper issue, just like I do - I feel guilty if I have things that make me feel happy 🙈 I hope we take ourselves out of this vicious circle and start living with ease and peace with ourselves ❤

Cas, I am only 9 minutes in but I can relate! While we have different life experiences, I also have felt that consumerism in many forms is bad and shameful. Same with pointing out only the bad things in a new home, never buying a new car, and avoiding "splurge" or brand name purchases. You totally should enjoy a new home that you like, that feels great, and that meets your family's needs. There is nothing wrong with that! I hope you do find joy in your new home. Thanks for your insights on this episode today ♥

Aw Cass, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Just try to remember, it's not like somebody gave you this new home, you worked for it, you earned it, and YOU DESERVE IT!

You spoke directly to me in this podcast, Cas. I am a master at self-sabotage. I repeatedly chose to not challenge myself both for fear of failure and fear of success. So many bad choices (or failure to make a choice, which amounted to the same thing), resulting in a wasted life. Regrets, I’ve had a few ….., but for me too many to mention!

I am so happy for you! An outdoor kitchen is amazing! You are gonna have so much fun and you deserve it, YOU ARE WORTHY! And you have helped so many people. You have been the spark in so many people's lives that have allowed them to have a life that they never would have dreamed possible.

Cass, I lived in my minivan after losing my job and apartment that I had for almost 10 years. I am now on disability and live in low income housing. BUT, Cass, BE HAPPY!! Even PROUD of your new home and ALL YOUR HARD WORK to get there. I am PROUD of you. You help so many others with your clutter bug content. Girl, own it and LOVE IT!! BTW….. I don’t have a lot, but, I kept my designer handbags. Just saying….🤷🏻‍♀️. I do on occasion, give one away to a friend. Don’t want anyone coveting. ( all handbag purchases were from thrift stores and resale shops). They don’t have to be new.

It's 9:30pm on a Saturday night & packing & decluttering and purging my old stuff. Good news, I'm moving in 6 weeks 😊 Thanks for your encouragement tonight ❤ I really need a friend tonight.

I know where you are coming from. But, lets face it, you have worked hard to achieve what you have got. Its not giving in, its a reward for all your hard work and you deserve it. Embrace it and enjoy it, it proves to everyone, what you can achieve with hard work and making good choices. The stories you have told yourself in the past were coping mechanisms for that time - we move beyond those times and need to change narratives as we evolve

I really hope that you enjoy your new home - you shouldn't be ashamed of anything in it... be joyful - you and Joe have worked REALLY hard to get to upgrade your home. YOU DESERVE IT!! This self sabotage conversation is so on point for me lately. I'm having to fight to tidy my home and keep up with my journal. Every time I get down / discouraged at the amount of stuff I need to do, I hear you / Dawn / Christine / others pumping me up... and not because you all are perfect, but because you have done it and keep fighting thru it - I am SOOOO grateful for you. I can't wait to see you organizing / decorating your new home! I can't wait to see all the cool ideas you have for getting settled. That outdoor area is going to be fantastic for family time and decorating... can't wait to see!!! We have a beautifully concreted patio that I don't know what to do with so please share. Every space you have, whether you think you deserve it or not (and you do) is going to inspire us in so many ways. THANK YOU CASS for always being you and pushing us to be the best we can be in ourselves!!

I didn’t enjoy my last home. It was beautiful, but I had to be taught to declutter!! Don’t waste a day enjoying your home. You have helped so many others.

You deserve to enjoy your new space! We are happy for you and can’t wait to see you make it your own

❤You helped me realize that I have self sabotaged so many parts of my own life.

I needed to hear this today, thank you! I have been doing this and didn’t recognize what I was doing. Time for a little self therapy and a mindshift change. I hope that you are able to overcome the self defeating thoughts and really celebrate this new time in your life. You are a hard worker and have sacrificed a lot to get what you have. We are celebrating your success with you. Sending love to you and your family! You got this girl!!!

I’ve known this feeling. I’ve not listened to the entire podcast yet, it’s still running. So you may mention this. Its like shame but for me I felt like an imposter. I’m not ‘one of them’ who had the …whatever. I feared being called out on it. It took some work and distancing from certain friends. I learned to feel like I deserved better. Now I’m working on learning that I deserve an uncluttered home!!

I always liked my new home best when it was empty, just before the moving van arrived!!!

Cas, you worked hard on both your career and your marriage. You and Joe yotally deserve a walk-in closet! I am so looking forward to the video The Container Store will sponsor just to see what y'all do with it. 🎉

I started saying "I don't do..." it reinforces that those thoughts or feelings aren't welcome! So if you start to feel bad about your new home you could say something like "I dont do shame"! Some guru type person talked about it and the science behind it and I have found it helpful! AND Congratulations on your new home! For the record you have helped so many of us I think we are all celebrating with you and excited to see whatever you share of your new home! You earned it, enjoy it to the fullest!

Thank you Cas. This has been a truly amazing teaching. Love your transparency. I can totally identify with what you’re saying.

I've done this so many times to myself. I've worked hard to get my house to the point I love it but old habits come out and I let it get bad again. God gave me the tools and motivation to get my reward. Enjoy your gift of a new house and start packing!

Cas we cannot solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it. How about starting your morning by listing 3 things you like about the house and when you start thinking the negative just say to yourself that's not true, this is what I like. I know you know this. You are wonderful and amazing. You have had a wonderful influence on my life and I am so grateful

I decluttered a whole box of books while listening because I realized that keeping all of those books was my fantasy self. I haven’t read a book in over a year, time for some to go.

Cass, we've lived in our home for 34 years, raised 3 kids in a 2000 square footer. I always wished I had a bigger better home. Since following you, Dawn and Dana and decluttering TONS of stuff I finally love my home. Love your beautiful new home!! You have worked your butt off and deserve it!! ❤❤❤

How wonderfully brave you are to share all this. You DO work hard and deserve this beautiful new home. Now, go get the rest of your family and start packing!

I was gonna say, you must not be super excited for the new house, else you’d be totally motivated and already be all packed!! So you just said/admitted it. And you know what, I applaud you for how you feel about materialistic stuff and staying frugal and not keeping up with the Joneses! You’re awesome! 👏 enjoy this home but stay true to yourself!! ❤ love ya lady.

I listened to you Cass as I walked my 30 mins which is how long this vid was. Such great wisdom and you deserve your new house and then some!!

One of my new fav episodes from you to this day ❤

Thanks, Cas! I relate! Clearing shame is the work. Any time you say "never" or "always", really check in to see if it is true. That's "all or nothing thinking" and is usually inaccurate. Also, our children hear what we're saying to ourselves and take it in as something about themselves. We're teaching our children how to think and talk about and treat themselves. Maybe start with a walk, then a fast walk, then a run. Allow yourself to build to it, just like you did for decluttering and organizing. You didn't start with "running", you walked first. 💖💖 Enjoy your walk-in closet. They're the BEST!!

You are a lady bug and a lightening bug and you are helping all of us clutter bugs out here. May God bless you for that, and please enjoy that new home you deserve!

Cass, you are an amazing woman. Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty about a topic that many of us deal with. I'm so excited to see the new home and all the good things about it and the dreams you have for some changes. What a great opportunity to stretch your creativity. You get a chance to have a nice place to be able to enjoy time with your family and friends. Enjoy your journey of making this a home that is cozy and inviting. I for one am SOOOOO looking forward to the videos you will share and the transformations you will make, whether big or small. Thank you for the inspiration you continue to be for me on my decluttering journey (my home and with myself). Blessings to you! ❣

Boy did I need this podcast! Sending you love and tons of gratitude Cass! 🤗🥰😇

I watched the tour earlier today. It's a beautiful house and YOU DESERVE IT!! This was a great podcast. I can relate. Thanks for the therapy!!❤

You change people's lives helping them declutter. It has a huge impact mentally, emotionally, confidently and with self-esteem. You should never feel shame for that house. You worked hard for it, your earned it and deserve nice things just like your clients. You are not showing off, you're not rubbing it people's faces out of spite. You are too down to earth and humble for that. And you've many times told stories and shown everyone even you aren't perfect because that's life and we all go through it. You are totally relatable and admired. Enjoy your new home and feel good about what you have achieved. It's inspiration.

Thank you Cass! I went back to my journal and searched for self sabotage and it was a month ago that I had two entries on this for my studio. That space used to be our den before we moved my Mom in with us. She was only here for a year before the Lord called her home and then it was empty for a while. I slowly filled it up with still life props and furniture to hold those things. Things were getting out of control but I donated some stuff. Enjoyed it for a while and then filled it again. Now I have an art table in there as well as a table for still life and I’m telling myself I deserve to have that happy space just for me. My Mom would want that and my husband is all for it…I just have to tell myself that and live it out. Thank you for being vulnerable. Enjoy your beautiful home! You have worked hard for it. 💗

Cas….THIS HAS BEEN ONE OF YOUR MOST POWERFUL RU-vid videos to date! We ALL need to hear this message of celebrating the BLESSINGS in life! You HAVE worked hard and you have EARNED the right to have what you can afford and what you find joy in…..DO NOT allow the spirit of SHAME to come upon you. You are a blessing to so many of us and you have been blessed! Allow this new home to be a blessing to others and allow this video to speak to others so that they can be inspired to being grateful for what they have and not feel they have to excuse or explain why they have what they have. You are leading many of us who can identify with where you are so start with your NEW narrative and “walk in it.” You are a beautiful soul and I love your vulnerability in THIS video. Thank you!!! Love you gal!❤

Cass … enjoy your walk in closet AND your light colored cabinets AND all the pull outs in your new kitchen. Pretend you are talking to ME and say those same words to YOU ❤ I am SO excited to see each and every one of your new “moving in” videos !!

I spent my whole lifetime downplaying everything that I accomplished and everything I had because my sister was jealous. She couldn’t have these things and I didn’t want to upset her. DON’T DO IT! Enjoy your new house, make it the home you love. You have worked hard for this and you deserve it.

CLEAN‼️toys can be all over the place BUT .. If my sheets are clean , my toilets done , floors vacuumed and washed weekly also laundry in process ( it’s never Done) then I’m good … I declutter once a week at least , my house declutter has taken 3 years .. I’m not a hoarder or anything it’s just that in the beginning you declutter differently… and present day I go at it with a vengeance ❤❤❤

I grew up with hand me downs, I learned to make my own clothes. Even after I was married, we lived week to week. We raised 4 kids in a house that would fit in my present garage. 20 years ago after my children were grown we bought a large house. This house is nicer than anything that I have ever lived in. It has taken me 20 years to feel that this house actually belongs to me. I finally see that we have worked hard all our lives and should enjoy our retirement, including our beautiful home in the woods. It is so peaceful here.

thank you for sharing. I can absolutely relate to your feeling of cognitive dissonance. I’m glad you said that we can put down the baggage, and we can do it together. Way to go! I hope you can enjoy your walk-in closet.

Outstanding Podcast! Perhaps you're best, Cass! You're talking about a subject that no one ever mentions!This really resonated with me.Thank you.

You are staring into my soul with this one! I was the tidiest teen you ever saw but had kids in early 20s and married a narcissist who criticised my cleaning so I gave up being proud of my efforts. He took over most parts of the house with his hoarding. 20yrs later he worked away from home so I didn’t bother cleaning until a few days before he came home. Rural properties get extra dirt and bugs inside. Newly single I have to change my mindset and tidying schedule and own all spaces in my home which has the added angle renovating to get of rid of the bad memories here. Thank you Cass for being one of my shoulder angels.

I have never connected with someone more than you in this video! The part about the husband and being a martyr is something that has been passed down through generations, and I am purposefully working through shedding that! Thank you for this video!!!!!

Having watched your progress and hard work over the past like 15years, you totally deserve all the success you have (and then some!!!) You deserve your beautiful new dream home and everything it enables you to continue doing 👏😘

I’m 67 years old, and I recently joined a gym and a personal trainer. I never thought I would do it because it seemed like a luxury. I love my trainer and I tell myself that I’m doing it for my health, so I now feel comfortable with my decision.

I'm at work with people around me. 😹 I'm 51, & probably self-sabotage myself with cleaning & tidying. My mom wasn't neurotic about cleaning in general, but she expected me to clean my room without ever actually teaching me how. She threw stuff out when I didn't tidy it up. I've been rebelling ever since, I guess.

Thank you for saying this. You deserve to live in a nice place. You can afford it and you don't have to be ashamed for it.

Awww Cas! You do deserve your new home. You work hard and you deserve to live a life you earned...even a bigger house! Please know you are able to inspire others due to your following and channel...that is nothing to feel guilt or shame about. You are able to help others by allowing them to see your story and watch you grow

The next time you feel a shred of guilt for that walk in closet, remind yourself that you are doing it for me. I need YOU to show me how to be excited about the things I worked for. From a cool chicken to a walk in closet, I personally need to see others excited about the wins in their lives. It's soul healing to be able to be on these journeys with you. Allow us to live in that moment ❤ show us that walk in closet girl!!! 😂... And all the other things you love about the house. 😊😊

I almost switched video, until I looked around and realized so many points fit me. Thanks for keeping it real.

This is SO, SO good. An organized home feels impossible, realizing I believe i cant do it. Thanks for this.

Enjoy your home and all good things in your life (Kate Spade purses, ect...) to the fullest!!! I look at it as if it's almost your responsibility to find the utmost joy in your life so that people like me can see what's possible if we just try and try again! I'm so happy for you and your family! Always remember that words and thoughts do have power and tell yourself that you are worthy of this, because you are!

Oh man, you hit the nail on the head with me today. I'm a widow 67 yr.old and raising my 3 grandsons and have a major back disability which allows me down. Being honest here, my house has really horribly suffered, and yes, the boys help, but I totally now understand what you are saying. And yes, you have worked hard, and you most certainly deserve your new home. Thank you so much for this wonderful podcast. I really needed it!💞💞

I very rarely comment online, but I have to on this. Your content as a whole is great; so helpful and relatable. Until now I've only seen a handful of podcasts. All with guests and all good. This one of just you is by far the best. So real. And you hit paydirt for me, too. Guilt and shame... Thank you so much! For laying it all out there and letting anyone who's willing grow with you. ❤❤❤ With huge gratitude for you, Karin Ps. You just inspired me to re-visit everything I've learned from Brenée Brown 😊 that should help, too 😊 Happy packing, happy travels and happy moving into your new home. May it give you more joy, ease and expansion than you can even imagine and confidence in knowing with every fibre of your being that it is your home because that's how it should be, for as long as nothing even more fun desires to contribute to you. 🎉 and I hope you giggle with glee every time you walk into your walk-in closet ;)

Totally makes sense-insightful and vulnerable of you to process with us. What you describe goes along with a “poverty mentality”. Many of us struggle with these sort of things-thanks for sharing your perspective.

Love this so much !!! We can’t change our mindset until we change our narrative. Thank you Cass

I have been self sabotaging for 7 years. I bought a house. And I have never felt truly happy in it. Even though I looked for house for years and when I saw this my gut feeling was perfect. I have been all negative about it. And never really had it all set up. I have been decluttering for years and I’m glad for the main areas. But never got one room and the basement done. Two months ago I had to decide whether to sell or redue the mortgage. I went deep thinking why I never loved the house. It’s because ‘I always loose the things I love + nothing good lasts + you end up broke and loose it anyways’. I have kept my house. Determined to love it. I’m 15 mins in the video and my face are wet from tears. You are talking directly to my soul. I really badly want to stop self sabotaging. (Perhaps I’ll stop doing it in love areas as well to then). Im read to heal. We deserve to be Happy, loved, have Nice things, live Nice and we deserve to keep it. ❤️🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼❤️ love from Jossefin

Thank you for your honesty and encouragement, Cas! Congratulations on your new home. Enjoy the blessing and the fruit of your labor 😊.

Hey, Cass, please leave that self sabotage mindset behind when you move to your new home! 😄Declutter it like you would anything else that isn’t serving you!🙁Thanks for sharing on this topic. Very helpful, indeed. 💜

It’s hard to change our inner voice, it’s hard to overcome our childhood trauma. It’s ok if you struggle, but as you are here for us, we are here for you. Until proven otherwise, this is it, one life, remind yourself you are worthy of joy, contentment and love. Even if you didn’t help all of us, you would still deserve to be happy. I personally am excited for you and your new home. I want to see all of it and see how you organize and decorate…think of all the new content (maybe thinking that will help ease the guilt a little) 🧡🖤🧡 The happiest season is right around the corner, let’s all find what brings us joy!!!🎃👻🧡🖤🧡

I appreciate you! Your honesty is so refreshing and it makes me feel not so bad because I don't do like others!

Aloha Cas, I can so relate to every single thing you were saying. It could have come from my own mouth!! I, too, don't think I deserve anything. I moved to Hawaii from Canada over 28 years ago and I still feel bad telling people I live in Hawaii!! It's ridiculous!! I've only come to be able to say I live in Hawaii because that's where my grandkids were born and I have to raise them there because of this and that. I always feel like I have to justify myself!! After listening to you, I know how ridiculous it sounds! 😆 I always say, but I live in my parents downstairs as if that will make it all better and take away my guilt. So please know how much you have helped so many, including myself and especially today and please please enjoy your move and your house and remember you are also providing a home for your children to make new memories in, you are making a space for you and your husband to thrive in and you are making space to grow your business!! We all need you to be in a productive space that works for you so we can continue to enjoy these AHA moments with you. Please 🙏 We can live vicariously through you, don't take it away from us. 😃 We are feeling so much joy for you right now. Also remember if you just say negative things about your house to people, it can sound as if you are ungrateful, not humble, and it also sets a bad example for your kids. Thrive in the moment, rejoice with your family, build up the excitement for everyone! I would also forget a vacation until you are packed. That could give you some incentive to pack quickly so you can go!!

I know this podcast was months ago but it just popped up on my feed. So, I’m thinking “ why not watch it?!” I’m sooo very glad I did bc it’s exactly what I needed to hear to make some sort of progress in my life. Cass…. You deserve that new house! You worked hard for it, ENJOY IT! Thank you so much for doing what you do. It enspires me!

It just clicked at the end: I’m telling myself I’m not a attentive person, that I’m not good at that and I see other people and say to myself that they overdosing it, but what I really would like people say about me is that I’m caring! I can do that, I can be that person, thank you Vas!

I struggle with the same emotions that you are having about your new house… You are struggling with a feeling that you are not worthy. But you are worthy. Go back in time when you were excited about finding a new house and moving. I remember you sharing when you found a house how excited you were about the move. Try to refocus on what was the original objective! I wish you all the best in this move… And you need to allow yourself to feel worthy.

The timing of this is epic. I got an amazing job offer on the other side of the country that I don't "feel" like I deserve and digging my heels in with packing too. I have one week now to purge everything that doesn't fit in the car. Thank you for your insights and motivation to kick me into gear!

Be happy in the moment and the current lifestyle you have worked hard for enjoy your new home with your family.

Its so healthy to discuss these things, bring our issues into the light, be honest with ourselves, so we can find our better happier peaceful path for our homes and our lives❤

How wonderful and exciting to have a new house and oh wow, an outdoor kitchen! You go girl! We all deserve to get what we want! Some of us just take longer to get there. You are so right; we talk to ourselves more than to any other person and what we say and how we feel when we say it matters a lot. I truly beleive thoughts become things. And I needed to hear this today; I have a fledgling business (I have dairy goats and make goat milk soap and lotion) and sell locally but have tons of people wanting me to ship.... but I've been terrified of taking the steps to do so! Even tho I know this would increase my sales exponentially. Even tho it would grow my business by a lot.... but yeah, cost of shipping "oh man, that's too much, no body is going to pay almost $10 shipping for this little thing" and "Oh man it cost so much even for shipping a padded envelope and it's going to get crushed and ruined..." And there are some other easy money opportunities that I have been procrastinating about in the worst way..... like I've always been on the poor side, my whole life and I guess I should stay that way? That's crazy pants, isn't it? Thanks for being here Cass because you do help soooo many people and you are such an encouragement to me and your 'confession' today has helped open my eyes to what I'm doing to myself to keep me down....

Negative Self Talk, it can be a curse. 💛 I do feel the EXACT SAME WAY though about having “nice things”.

I’m you just 16 years older. I won’t invite people over and when they are over, I put down my beautiful house and then I’ve made it into a cluttered mess. You’re great❣️

@ 9:00 You mentioned feeling something is “too fancy for [yourself]” and I immediately thought “oh, it’s too good for me” or “I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH [deserving of] for this. I think it comes from my belief that one shouldn’t “show off” or display [vulgar] signs of wealth/conspicuous consumption. That I should be humble and NOT FAKE, maybe not lord it over others. See how quickly that escalated! Funny that in my early adulthood I really didn’t feel self conscious about any of that. (1970s) I pretty much wore what I wanted to and enjoyed feeling attractive and positive. Example: Back then I bought (on lay-away!) a wonderful long embroidered Afghan coat (think Almost Famous or Forrest Gump’s girlfriend) and wore it all the time for several years. It made me happy to wear it and I felt like it made other people happy to see it. I still have it, by the way, as a piece of art in my house. But after a few years and a few times being knocked down by life, now I understand the not good enough feeling. Or maybe more I don’t want to feel that OTHER PEOPLE will think I am showing off-not about that coat (I can’t fit it and probably wouldn’t wear it now even if I could) I feel sometimes that I will be challenged over whether I DESERVE whatever it is, material or spiritual. I cringe when I see so many overt over-consumers Ala Kardashian, or even non celebrities. And, yes, my (underneath it all) beautiful, restful, nurturing and very “ME” bedroom is buried under stuff-most of which could easily be tossed. Now, back to your video ❤

I have LOVED sharing in your decluttering journey! Thank you for inviting us to do it with you. As I listened to this podcast, I really wrestled with the word "deserve." But I can sit with the idea that I've "earned" some of these things...in case that's helpful to anyone else.

Wow!!!! I do this all the time! My brother tells me that the struggle is between the ears!! Yes!

I felt the same way as you do when we bought our first new car after getting out of debt. We thought, this is too nice for us. But we worked so hard to save money and get out of debt. We deserve to have nice things since we have worked so hard to have them. You have worked so hard for all you have. You deserve a nice home and nice things. Now is the time for you and your family to enjoy the fruits of your labor. 😊 ❤

Is it possible that change is hard and it is more comfortable staying in the know than the unknown? Cas you deserve this change YOU ARE WORTHY!!!! Embrace the good ❤❤

I totally feel this. I am in a good place with my declutterring experience and am really enjoying my home. Even though I haven’t spent a whole bunch on decorating it, I still feel weird about how beautiful it is!

Thars such a lightbulb moment - self sabotage! I do it with regard to my eating habits and lack of exercise. I have often said I'm not very good at exercising or I don't like it. But when i did i enjoyed the results. I think im afraid of the failure of not getting to a "goal". But I really should set a small goal and see where I get to.: 1lb loss..20 minutes walk daily...cut out crisps... Cass you've fired me up. ❤