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As Not Seen on TV: Gary Delaney one-liners that weren't ever on Mock the Week or Live at the Apollo. 

Gary Delaney
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Tour dates: www.garydelaney.com
This video is all the one-liners from my first special (Comedy Club Classics 2000-2013) that I never used on Mock the Week or Live at the Apollo. It has proper subtitles available if you want them. It's possible a few gags may have sneaked into other minor TV shows around that time that few people saw, I didn't cross reference set lists against them as they're not important.
As the UK reopens I'm back on the road with a new tour with all new jokes called Gary In Punderland. All dates are at www.garydelaney.com and there's more to be added as more venues reopen and start to book new shows again. It's taking a while in some towns, largely due to the huge backlog of 15 month of postponed shows that venues also have to accommodate. You can sign up to be notified when a show is added in your area. If it says join waiting list that means it' sold out but not really as the venue has held back at leats half the tickets for social distancing. I expect these will all end up on sale at some point so it's well worth doing that.
I've got a joke book out called Pundamentalist if you like that sort of thing. It's got 1000 jokes in it, none of which are in Gary In Punderland. All the usual nook places for the UK, use www.bookdepository.com for international orders as Amazon are super sloooooowww.
I'm also on Twitter @GaryDelaney , Instagram @GaryDelaneyComedian and Facebook @GaryDelaneyComedian and I post a joke a day on those pretty much all the time.

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14 май 2021

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Комментарии : 539   
@GaryDelaneyComedian
@GaryDelaneyComedian 3 года назад
Tour dates: www.garydelaney.com
@GaryDelaneyComedian
@GaryDelaneyComedian 2 года назад
I played there on the last tour but they’re dragging their heels about dates for this tour but we have requested them. It’s very hard to get venues right now. Pester them and ask them to book me. It’ll make it more likely to happen. Otherwise there’s a show on sale in Barton on Humber and probably one in Hull being added soon
@lewisdowsett8390
@lewisdowsett8390 2 года назад
How about ipswich gary? I mean are you doing a show here not for your opinion on ipswich.
@GaryDelaneyComedian
@GaryDelaneyComedian 2 года назад
Already on sale. Have a look at the link with all the dates on
@lewisdowsett8390
@lewisdowsett8390 2 года назад
@@GaryDelaneyComedian See what you think of this gary. I was painting and decorating the other day and I was absolutely sweating...well I read the tin and it said put 2 coats on.. I will get my coat...christ I've got 3 on now 9th July 2022 corn exchange ipswich,great venue I'm now about to purchase
@bobthompson4319
@bobthompson4319 2 года назад
Aww babes iv killed loads of things. I hope you really said that to Sarah after she hit a deer. AHAHHAHAHA
@timaustin2000
@timaustin2000 Год назад
Gary laughing at his own jokes is heaven 🤣
@Wolfinator234
@Wolfinator234 3 года назад
This is literally the best ever audience in standup comedy
@GaryDelaneyComedian
@GaryDelaneyComedian 3 года назад
They were amazing.
@MrVideodromer
@MrVideodromer 3 года назад
Especially the blonde in the black top........;o
@MrFuzzyGreen
@MrFuzzyGreen 3 года назад
Nice that Gary put on a show for the Roly Polys. Glad to see them again.
@imustbegettinolder4434
@imustbegettinolder4434 3 года назад
Yeah I was laughing at them laughing too.
@DYLANLBOMBA
@DYLANLBOMBA 3 года назад
welcome to liverpool 🤣
@Adam-vu6ho
@Adam-vu6ho 2 года назад
He’s far funnier than most of the mainstream comedians on tv
@u4riahsc
@u4riahsc 2 года назад
You have to pay close attention to him.
@queenbee2371
@queenbee2371 Год назад
100%
@leggobeasty
@leggobeasty Год назад
@@queenbee2371 He’s been on TV. Many times
@GaryDelaneyComedian
@GaryDelaneyComedian Год назад
Don’t be silly, Iain. Why on Earth would a comedian ever do jokes in tour shows they’ve already done on the telly? That makes no sense at all. Material goes on tour and then on telly or online.. That’s the order. That’s how it works. This tour is all jokes that were written during lockdown. The 17-19 tour was different jokes. The 13/14 and 15/16 tours are the ones that were then recycled into lots of different TV spots after the tours had finished and those are also the two tours that are available on line and in clips etc. You won’t see jokes from the 2013/2014 tour in 2023. That’d just be weird.
@octaviussludberry9016
@octaviussludberry9016 Год назад
Almost as if comedy is subjective.
@Daz555Daz
@Daz555Daz 2 года назад
I have no idea how guys like Gary and Tim Vine keep up this relentless pace. It is simply superb.
@MrMaster2262
@MrMaster2262 2 года назад
Stewart Francis one liners also good but not as quick as those two
@nein1467
@nein1467 Год назад
I love both of them (all three if you count Stewart Francis from the other commenter), but one has to admit that Tim Vine is unbeatable when it comes to the speed.
@maddoctor99
@maddoctor99 11 месяцев назад
Yeah - Stewart Francis is an amazing one-liner. But his pace is intentionally slower and more “gentle” than Gary. Would love to see either of them live any day… … although, my local park COULD do with another bench or two…
@straffentest1708
@straffentest1708 Год назад
True story for you that weirdly sounded like a gag you'd come up with. I was in the lift at work and the new girl got in. I said 'going down?' Quick as a flash she replied 'steady on,I've only worked here for three days!' Best comback ever from asking a completely innocuous question.
@FreeFlyerUk
@FreeFlyerUk Год назад
😂😂😂😂🎉
@richastle8293
@richastle8293 Месяц назад
Apart from Gary being very talented, I love watching the lady second from the right of screen laughing so fitfully at EVERY joke. I'm sure she'd be hurting the next day and even took the a day off work. Wonderful to see humour being such a great tonic!
@GlenBarnett
@GlenBarnett 2 года назад
Laughed so hard at this I was nearly sick. Best comedian on the planet 🤣
@GaryDelaneyComedian
@GaryDelaneyComedian 2 года назад
Baz. You’re a fool who doesn’t know that of which you speak. I’m the original author of all of these jokes. That’s literally the one thing I’m known for. It’s great that you care about the originality of jokes. I do too. But do your research before you speak up or you’ll look silly.
@jonwebb7042
@jonwebb7042 2 года назад
@@GaryDelaneyComedian you are so talented man, first time I've seen your stand up!
@tjp353
@tjp353 Год назад
@@GaryDelaneyComedian I'm not saying Angela Merkel has a big vagina, but when she sat down in the Bundestag... a Beef Curtain descended across the continent of Europe.
@DigitalDaffodil
@DigitalDaffodil 5 месяцев назад
@@GaryDelaneyComedianno worse than you pal
@glambox92
@glambox92 2 года назад
The way he laughs at his own jokes 😂😂😂
@paulbriody297
@paulbriody297 2 года назад
I love that too.
@u4riahsc
@u4riahsc 2 года назад
Especially when they try really hard not to laugh.
@nigelbond4056
@nigelbond4056 3 года назад
Just awesome! The problem with such amazing comedy is that 16 minutes is never enough. Britain’s greatest comedy talent 👍
@GaryDelaneyComedian
@GaryDelaneyComedian 3 года назад
I’ve got more back catalogue stuff to gradually film edit and release. This stuff is all really old. I’ve another two hours of my old tour material to work my way through I’ve the next couple of years.
@DunnGolfing
@DunnGolfing 3 года назад
That's what she said 🤣
@lisabenson
@lisabenson 2 года назад
One of the few advantages of lockdown was discovering and appreciating the hilarious Gary Delaney. Being from the US, I can only wish to see him on tour.
@TheWaxdart138
@TheWaxdart138 Год назад
I can assure you, he's absolutely superb....
@jamesbutler6253
@jamesbutler6253 9 месяцев назад
I've watched this set several times and howl with laughter every time, which is the complete opposite of my experience with all those American Dry Bar comedians who I only watch once and never even laugh once.
@reprobate337
@reprobate337 3 года назад
I'm crying, that was brilliant.. woke the whole house laughing so hard.
@Just.Blaze...
@Just.Blaze... Год назад
Never heard so many 1 liners. Very talented man.
@alanrmurphy
@alanrmurphy 3 года назад
It's like someone took an audience from the 80s or 90s and brought them to the 21st century. Wonderful to see people enjoying comedy for what it is and not looking for offence 🙂
@IByteNL
@IByteNL 3 года назад
Very true. People spend so much time and energy on finding reasons to criticise others in hopes of coming out on top these days.
@bertybertface1914
@bertybertface1914 3 года назад
It's more of a masive relief to still see people laughing and enjoying themselves. The crud on BBC atm is atrocious, the canned laughter struggles to find it funny.
@annother3350
@annother3350 3 года назад
They seemd all over 50 so they were an audience from the 80s and 90s!!
@markbtelevision
@markbtelevision 2 года назад
well said
@markbtelevision
@markbtelevision 2 года назад
@@IByteNL amazing comment
@leegoderz83
@leegoderz83 3 года назад
I accidentally filled the escort up with diesel ⛽️😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@rebelwithoutapplause5629
@rebelwithoutapplause5629 2 года назад
She died..
@craigtomlinson5593
@craigtomlinson5593 Год назад
Nice to hear good old no holds barred comedy. Hit the nail on the head when he said, not seen on TV.
@topcat8804
@topcat8804 3 года назад
He had a big crowd that night - and I don't mean there were many of them
@sandwichman100
@sandwichman100 2 года назад
i had no idea they had comedy nights at weight watches meetings
@David-ll8bt
@David-ll8bt 2 года назад
If you told that crowd to hall ass they would have to make 2 trips.
@uniformmike05
@uniformmike05 2 года назад
Maybe one of them is huge Grace… who got thrown out at the weekly WW weigh-in.
@richardlloyd2589
@richardlloyd2589 2 года назад
@@uniformmike05 👏👏👏
@michaelsexton4068
@michaelsexton4068 2 года назад
🤣
@pjsixhundred
@pjsixhundred 3 года назад
Superb. Looking forward to seeing the live tour.
@catch.2022
@catch.2022 3 года назад
I'd pay to just watch this audience cracking up!
@jamielbux1048
@jamielbux1048 2 года назад
I couldnt stop laughing. One of the UKs funniest comedians.
@AlexSmith-od7qg
@AlexSmith-od7qg 3 года назад
Every joke a belter. Cheers me up. Defo booking tickets
@frankdelnoij938
@frankdelnoij938 3 года назад
Gary is the best. Love from the Netherlands
@limeycheesehead97
@limeycheesehead97 3 года назад
OMG....thank you for the laughs. Can't wait to see you live.
@mrswanson5013
@mrswanson5013 2 года назад
Your little chuckles make it even better
@ukdavepianoman
@ukdavepianoman 3 года назад
Brilliantly funny. Such great delivery too.
@garylawlor2288
@garylawlor2288 2 года назад
Crying my eyes out with laughter, thanks Gary
@mattys655
@mattys655 3 года назад
Top gig thank you man, I've got tears in my eyes (of laughter, in case you were wondering)
@barryfarrant3281
@barryfarrant3281 Год назад
good to see some new material from him, the quick delivery and the thought process.
@bourne3106
@bourne3106 2 года назад
First comedy I’ve laughed at this lockdown, thank you I feel great now.
@JonnyCooper
@JonnyCooper Год назад
@Gary Delaney the timing on the lifebelt gag was astonishing. Pure genius!
@annother3350
@annother3350 3 года назад
Probably his best set I've ever seen
@stephencarey6114
@stephencarey6114 3 года назад
Fluffing brilliant. Love you man.
@robertharvey7392
@robertharvey7392 2 года назад
That is so, so funny. Watched it loads of times but enjoy it every time. Thanks Gary
@clownstangler
@clownstangler 2 года назад
You're welcome man
@ReinhardvonHolst
@ReinhardvonHolst 3 года назад
Effing Brilliant! We love you dude.
@ShockwaveTheLogical
@ShockwaveTheLogical Год назад
10:52 That is just brilliant! I love the play on words and "literal" jokes.
@morbidromanceband
@morbidromanceband 6 месяцев назад
Brilliant stuff. Thanks so much for putting this on RU-vid. ❤
@paule8174
@paule8174 Год назад
Seen this guy live he’s so funny!!! Couldn’t stop crying with laughter!!
@alliefarrell5464
@alliefarrell5464 3 года назад
Had such a good laugh at this video! Thanks for posting it, Gary! One of my favourite things about your shows is that you laugh at your own jokes, which is so endearing. ~Allie in Canada.
@walterdennon4342
@walterdennon4342 2 года назад
His laugh is the baby cousin of Jimmy Carr's.
@queenbee2371
@queenbee2371 Год назад
I love him finding his own jokes funny!!
@MobiusChains
@MobiusChains 3 года назад
Improper use of a colon caused a serious coughing fit. 🤣 I think the joke nearly killed me. 😂🤣😂🤣
@paulonius42
@paulonius42 3 года назад
That was the greatest audience groan in comedy history. :)
@attack0nmem0ry
@attack0nmem0ry 3 года назад
Long time MTW/LAtA viewer, first time commenter (lol). Brilliant set, Gary. Thanks for the upload; Americans like myself are grateful for the comedy gold. Cheers, stay safe, and hope to catch you stateside soon!
@trekker3382
@trekker3382 3 года назад
got tickets to your show in peterborough, in july ... cannot wait to watch you live - again
@paula200
@paula200 3 года назад
Every time I watch these clips, I marvel at the sheer ignorance of the guy in the front row, wearing a 'kin great big hat.
@MrConnect54
@MrConnect54 3 года назад
Imagine sitting behind him probably thinks he’s a character wearing a stupid cowboy hat 🤠
@Gisburne2000
@Gisburne2000 2 года назад
Wouldn't bother me. I am 6'9" 😀
@paula200
@paula200 2 года назад
@@Gisburne2000 You're probably the one who always sits in front of me 🤣
@kathowed
@kathowed 2 года назад
Brilliant! Nice to hear you working blue. I smiled so much I think I broke my left cheek.
@TypicallyThomas
@TypicallyThomas 3 года назад
As someone who is actually dating an English teacher I am stealing those jokes like you wouldn't believe!
@tennentssuppa
@tennentssuppa 3 года назад
watch their colon mate.
@ianlucas8116
@ianlucas8116 2 года назад
Dating a teacher is great. . . You can have sex whenever you want. . . But you have to put your hand up first. :)
@richardlloyd2589
@richardlloyd2589 2 года назад
Male teachers do like using the red pen-is.
@Spitfyre1011
@Spitfyre1011 Год назад
Bless that lady in the front row who keeps screaming with laughter. I can’t contain myself at live comedy shows either 😂
@raylooney7070
@raylooney7070 3 года назад
Gary is the best comedian for many many years.....this was outstanding......im going to look and book now......if you read this gary who are your favourite comics.
@vabriga1
@vabriga1 Год назад
You are killing it man. Respect.
@matthewfaulkner9582
@matthewfaulkner9582 2 года назад
Just brilliant Gary, so funny, defo need to catch you on tour.
@IByteNL
@IByteNL 3 года назад
Great work, couldn't stop laughing 😂. Indeed, most of them had not been on MTW.
@Musingsonthelawofattraction
@Musingsonthelawofattraction 3 года назад
Mock the week is really dumbed down. No bravery.
@aboe8904
@aboe8904 11 месяцев назад
Thanks Gary.. I really enjoy your shows mate.
@jonlittle1798
@jonlittle1798 2 года назад
"Waving her bucket...." felt like I would pass out I was laughing so hard.
@cosmicpuma1409
@cosmicpuma1409 3 года назад
Loving this!!!
@zombiestomper4310
@zombiestomper4310 3 года назад
That was brilliant!
@KumaBean
@KumaBean 3 года назад
That was outstanding! 😂 👌 🍻
@MaunoKoivistoOfficial
@MaunoKoivistoOfficial Год назад
This audience is amazing.
@itsmephil2255
@itsmephil2255 Год назад
Gary Delaney is always a win 😂😂
@steviecbf
@steviecbf 3 года назад
MAGNIFICENT !
@LenTheKiwi
@LenTheKiwi 3 года назад
Very good. You are the best.
@Shithappenswhenu
@Shithappenswhenu 7 месяцев назад
That crowd came to have a good time, holy hell! 😂
@irishandproud1087
@irishandproud1087 2 года назад
Love this guy ,brilliant 😆 🤣 😂
@saxonstacker1078
@saxonstacker1078 Год назад
Great crowd, great humour. Best in the world.
@williambutcher7432
@williambutcher7432 3 года назад
Absolutely brilliant!, just listening to the joke about cunnilingus and my daughter walked into the room....awkward!
@richardlloyd2589
@richardlloyd2589 2 года назад
Yes, very difficult to explain when you’re tongue-tied.
@michaellennon873
@michaellennon873 2 года назад
Orchids - brilliant
@levimcglinchey5843
@levimcglinchey5843 3 года назад
My word that's one eager crowd
@GaryDelaneyComedian
@GaryDelaneyComedian 3 года назад
It was. I decided to make recording S of two of my long retired tour shows for use on social media and offered people from my mailing list free tickets. So they’re all big fans and will have attended the tours at the time but we’re super keen anyway. Like a greatest hits show.
@levimcglinchey5843
@levimcglinchey5843 3 года назад
Well that's just ruddy lovely of ya, class idea! Here's hoping us Carlisle lot give you just as much on the tour Tara a bit x 🍆
@Ashleyrhys1
@Ashleyrhys1 2 года назад
@@GaryDelaneyComedian Thats amazing pal, really enjoyed the video
@adambryan1146
@adambryan1146 2 года назад
Just found this guy a couple of days ago.... he's amazing.
@EleanorPeterson
@EleanorPeterson 2 года назад
Did you know that he's also Mr Sarah Millican? It's not hard to see why her act's so polished if she has to test her material on Gary! 🤔
@tomjohnson6520
@tomjohnson6520 2 года назад
Absolutely the best!
@curiousmind616
@curiousmind616 2 года назад
@@EleanorPeterson no way really ?
@petebanbury
@petebanbury 3 года назад
You know it's going to be really funny when the comedian starts laughing in anticipation of the punch line :-) This is an Awesome collection Gary, get your ass out to one of the comedy festivals in Jo'burg when we get back to travel normal again :-)
@wertywee
@wertywee 3 года назад
When the comedian laughs at his own gags you know he's digging for extra laughs from a weak gag
@bonkeydollocks1879
@bonkeydollocks1879 2 года назад
@@wertywee nah he just finds it funny
@FreeFlyerUk
@FreeFlyerUk Год назад
​@@wertywee wow
@u4riahsc
@u4riahsc 2 года назад
Champion of one-liners.
@TheWhiteboyjohnny
@TheWhiteboyjohnny 2 года назад
Absolutely brilliant
@katemoore2585
@katemoore2585 2 года назад
I love that he laughs at his own jokes..!
@johncoops6897
@johncoops6897 2 года назад
Sometimes sounds like Jimmy Carr !!!
@maddoctor99
@maddoctor99 11 месяцев назад
I always thought Gary was funny. I didn’t realize until now just HOW funny he is. This had me 💀
@bleueggos6798
@bleueggos6798 2 года назад
Discovered you yesterday I watched the Apollo one ,you had me n my wife rolling
@shaun3011
@shaun3011 2 года назад
you are a great comedian 100% enjoy your jokes
@Bob-ts2tu
@Bob-ts2tu 2 года назад
Brilliant, love it
@williamroberts9394
@williamroberts9394 9 месяцев назад
Wow. So good. Nearly as good as the mighty Jethro, so underrated.
@jarvis1979
@jarvis1979 2 года назад
Genius, absolute genius.
@mreckes9967
@mreckes9967 3 года назад
Usually with "one liner comics" doing 15mins on here you get maybe half a dozen good lines and a heap of dross or repeated stuff. But not you my good man, a truly great session. Brilliant crowd sure helps, you should employ them to go on tour with you.
@lordrork5884
@lordrork5884 3 года назад
His videos prove that he's the kind of guy who likes to keep on banging them out.
@shadyj8047
@shadyj8047 3 года назад
these jokes are amazing
@nealspilsbury8639
@nealspilsbury8639 Год назад
This guy is one of best stand ups ever
@chrisb6296
@chrisb6296 Год назад
Amazing set / crowd
@KarrierBag
@KarrierBag 3 года назад
Thank you, i needed a rude laugh and you provided it
@grizzle273463
@grizzle273463 7 месяцев назад
I love Gary's laugh. So good
@simondurnin7332
@simondurnin7332 Год назад
Fantastic!!
@bmoipavitra8468
@bmoipavitra8468 2 года назад
Brilliant!
@RobertHeslop
@RobertHeslop 2 года назад
I can laugh individually, but bloody nora, you and Sarah combined in one show, I'd be dead
@rebelwithoutapplause5629
@rebelwithoutapplause5629 2 года назад
Gary, did you hear that Elton John spent over 3 grand on a treadmill for his pet rabbit..? It's a little fit bunny..
@DarrenConnolly-th6yt
@DarrenConnolly-th6yt 7 месяцев назад
What a crowd. Lovely x
@sailingschooners8668
@sailingschooners8668 Год назад
It's the delivery that wins it..
@Andy-we5og
@Andy-we5og 2 года назад
Looking for tour tickets as we speak !! This guy is brilliant
@cancer_sucks
@cancer_sucks 3 года назад
fucking howling Gary!! easily some of the best i have heard... so far! more that DEFINATELY did not make the telly please :-)
@fifthof1795
@fifthof1795 3 года назад
did you see Line of Duty....you'd get the inference if you did.
@HurricaneJD
@HurricaneJD Год назад
I am from the US and gary is one of my favorite comedians. I tend to like one liners more than I do storytellers
@playboy8303
@playboy8303 2 года назад
as a stand-up myself, u are sir, a master.....i study u r stuff......awesome jokes by the way
@GaryDelaneyComedian
@GaryDelaneyComedian 2 года назад
Thanks and good luck with it
@basilfawlty8244
@basilfawlty8244 3 года назад
Ahhh...My cheeks are killing me after watchin that. Next time he comes to Liverpool, I'm gonna have to try & get to see this guy. That's one of the funniest clips I've seen in a long, long time. My cousin's Welsh & I can't wait to tell her that witches/M4 one. Brilliant
@GaryDelaneyComedian
@GaryDelaneyComedian 3 года назад
There’ll be a Liverpool tour date added soon. Sign up at www.garydelaney.com to be notified when it goes on sale.
@dixieboy5689
@dixieboy5689 2 года назад
Lots of goof laffs from this Boss. Loved it.
@normcolman1419
@normcolman1419 2 года назад
GARY LOVE YOUR WORK NORM
@michaelcamilleri9997
@michaelcamilleri9997 2 года назад
Laughed my face off. Thank you
@maverick627uk
@maverick627uk Год назад
I don't care, I cried laughing non stop! Funny as hell 😂😂
@richardgardner90125
@richardgardner90125 2 года назад
That was outstanding, so, so funny
@talk2birds128
@talk2birds128 2 года назад
Omg he has the cutest laugh..gets him away with saying anything. Lol
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