@@abby9435 My best friend is pan and people make that joke/perverted comment to him all the time. It makes him really uncomfortable and gets me ready to throw some hands. Just because someone is pan, bi, or omni doesn't mean they aren't monogamous.
Duuude i got out and my uncle asked me "yeah but how can you tell if its really attraction and not just a very cool friendship" like ???? You just know???
when the girl said "you were looking at me like a dirty bug" I really wanted to cry. I remember in middle school when I came out and everyone in the halls or lunch would stare at me in disgust and it was a terrible, vulnerable feeling. I'm glad this video really shows people this perspective. ♡
I find that the most annoying question like the role of a guy is like the one who’s in charge of more "dominant" and the role of the girl is more "submissive" in a relationship when that’s not true at all
Had one of my co-workers say “I don’t mind gay people, I have gay friends, I just don’t want them to kiss in front of me” and I replied with: “Yeah, I don’t mind straight people either, I have straight friends, I just don’t want them to kiss in front of me” and then suddenly she didn’t like it
Dont forget the part when everyone started clapping and obama came in while personally giving you an award while your co worker was burned at the stake by dragqueens
@@rela424 Pretty cringe and lengthy way to put r/thathappened But even if you referenced the subreddit, you'd still look cringeworthy. Nothing is out of the ordinary or unbelievable about this comment.
I always say similar thing to these people. People making out publicly disgust me no matter who they are. So I try to avoid looking at them and move away if possible. Kissing a lot in buses and trams is disrespectful towards others, there's no way to escape, I don't like it. But it always have been straight people.
"Disgusting" and that kids is how we always feel, the confusion and shame that we always endure when we all do is to love someone and to find ourselves.
👏karma👏done👏 right Tho I feel bad for them, they should've done it on homophobes but this was better in the sense that it'll make them respect queer people and stand up for them
I know it’s about homosexual questions but I feel like the question “does your parent know” gave a really different reaction for the different gender. The guy was surprised like “of course they know” and the girl talked about parents don’t want their kids to date a bad person. Like it’s normal for guys to have a relationship but not for the girl. That was the vibe I got from it tho.
@@pingteo6104 Not horny, but have a very low education around consent and respect (same with girls but they are expexted to be more passive). So easy for young men to hurt young women, sometimes without even realising. Hopefully education is changing.
"It hurt me.. I didn't really understand why I should get these questions.. and loving someone is not a bad thing but these words made me feel really guilty.." That's it right there. Also, the questions and reactions from the interviewer are so true to the experience that most of us queer kids have heard them at some point. Thank you for being so real and not trying to sugarcoat it.
"you like girls, so do you also like every girls you see?" i received the same from my friend but it's more like "if you like girls then okay, just dont like me". like assuming that my only standard in liking someone is being a woman. i was like lmao if i do, your statement just made me realize that i shouldn't. unfortunately i never addressed it and we're still friends lol
Would've countered it with a friendly "ahahaha don't worry, I don't think I can like u as a woman. After all, ur my friend" For whatever reason, they always seem to get offended by this like ma'am do u want to be liked by woman or nah
Nah I wouldn't mind if she likes me, it's her right to love anyone, though I'll definitely break her heart not because I'm straight specifically, it's just because I wasn't into *her* romantically. We can still be friends if it doesn't hurt her more, but if she decided to be away from me then I'll respect that too. Isn't this what most ppl do to their bestfriend who fall for them but they don't share the same feelings? No matter what thhe gender is.
Hm, I think it would be good to point out that gender isn't the only criteria for loving someone, which many hets seem to assume. Interests, looks, occupations, personalities, ideal type, and much more factor into who you fall in love with. I'm sure you know this, but I think it would be good for you and your friendship if you point these things out to your friend, ir have a talk with them eventually. Perhaps they've become less ignorant or will learn from you.
@@luisab3079 i mean, are they really your friend if they just assume you have a crush on them? this type of people who think the world revolves around them are full of shit, so sick of them
I think the worst thing is "ohh you're queer? Did your parents disown you? do you top or do you bottom?" cause I'm actually korean, and my parents 100% would if they didn't kill me first, so yeah. Also sex life questions, why?! Just don't ask personal questions if you don't know a person's situation - isn't that the decent thing to do? Nobody's out here asking a straight person if their family shunned them like they did something wrong or what their life in the bedroom is like.
The only thing straight couples are asked is about their children. But as soon as you tell someone you're gay they will automatically bombard you with questions that have absolutely nothing to do with them. Your s3x life being the first thing.
Personally I see it as them curious about your life and lifestyle. Speaking from experience I often find fascination by things very different from what I know so I have a habit of asking questions and not understanding why ppl get uncomfortable since if I was asked the same question I’d just answer and shrug. Only a problem if you make it one ya know?
My mom told me my relationship with my girlfriend was no different than a friendship between to girls. I was in love with her, but I had trust in my mom and her words made me doubt myself. I broke up with her and felt broken for years, I don’t feel comfortable loving again. This is an extreme case of what these “harmless questions” can do to a person.
@@CamCoulombe i’m ok 🙂 I just hope that stories like mine will help people understand that words can do a lot of damage, if you wouldn’t talk to a straight person in a certain way then the same should go for LGBT+ people
@@EnigmazGuide Sure but the rate at which LGBT+ people are asked disrespectful and intrusive questions is much greater than a straight person so it’s very rude of you to come online and accuse someone of being ignorant and pathetic for sharing their harmful experiences. I never said that straight people don’t ever get wrongly treated I was just saying that in comparison, for LGBT+ people it’s a common occurrence. I’m sorry I triggered your fragile heterosexuality but maybe next time curb your ignorance. happy holidays
0:49 This question touch a very important point, when you love someone in a romantic way, you just KNOW what your feelings are, ppl assuming you don't know about your own feelings it's annoying
Seriously!! It's already hard to describe romantic feelings but now you're trying to prove your sexuality and the fact that you are having romantic feelings and not platonic. It's so stressful.
@@Im_Charizzma_boss_baby_Ricky and its completely okay!! The problem is those _other_ people trying to dictate us what and how we must "really" be feeling. As if we don't have the comprehensive skills to understand ourselves. You might be confused, about anything, and that's fine. But its YOUR feelings and no one else should dictate it! :D
Right! Once, I was seing this guy and I told him I was probably bisexual. He then started to tell me that it was only a phase, that wlw were only confused and that lesbianism wasn't a real thing and I was like wtf I was still questioning my sexuality at the time but I was like boy, I don't need you to tell me how I feel thank you very much -_-
"what role do you play in your relationship" I literally had an argument with my friend because she tried convincing me that I was the "boy" in MY relationship while I was trying to tell here that "no, there are two girls in this relationship, it's not a straight relationship" and she wouldn't change her mind and I'm still upset about it
You actually got the point that what your friend meant was top or bottom/dominant or submissive. You just didnt like the way they asked and convinced yoy
As someone who is queer, this was strangely painful and yet also healing to watch. You could physically see the interviewed people's facial expressions twist into confusion and discomfort. Words can hurt, sometimes for a lifetime. But I'm glad others can get to experience and see first hand how ridiculous, invasive, and not-necessary questions like these are for any person, regardless of how they identify! Well done, Shine Teen.
Ahh!! So true!! I'm straight and at first I was confused and slightly offended that they were asking those questions to unknowing heterosexuals. Lmao while watching I thought, "why dont they ask these to homophobic people instead, and not drag innocent randoms? 🥺" but then I realized that maybe this experience will prevent the people involved from making the mistake of asking these stupid questions to their homosexual peers, in the future. And although I know that questions like those are indeed hurtful, I never knew _how_ hurtful and disrespectful they can really be. Thanks to this video I realized the magnitude of such words & questions.
@@serpentinewolf7085 I understand. Your family probably means no harm and is just really open with talking about certain things (like what position you play, etc). I'm pansexual and I would talk to my friends (both straight and non straight) about dirty things in their relationships all the time 😂. It just really just depends on the tone and intentions of the question. Sometimes the question is really innocent and harmless and other times it's judgmental and ignorant.
yea....like why would anyone "choose" to be gay in countries that literally imprison or straight-up murder homosexuals lol, it's something we just can't avoid feeling
If being gay were a choice, a lot of people would choose to opt out because there are places that will literally sentence you to death for being gay. So no, being gay is not a choice. It's who you are.
@@clean8546 It's not homophobes, it's just people that were not educated on the subject, homophobes activly are against it even if they have the info, but I was talking more about people that don't have the info and came to that conclusion...
Yeah, it’s impossible to choose your sexuality or belief. You can’t just believe in Jesus. You can go to church and pretend to believe in Jesus. You can even tell yourself you believe in Jesus, but still not believe in Jesus.
As a straight person this was definitely an insight into how things are for you guys, I’m sorry for you all who have to go through harsh criticism and the fear of what your loved ones would say about who you love. You and your feelings are 100% valid, and continue to love who YOU wanna love. 💗
Omfggg you are so sweet tysm! You might wanna change the last sentence to "...love who you love," since we don't choose who we love. Again, ty for being an absolute sweetheart- you're support means a lot more than you could ever imagine. 😊❤ ILYSMMM! 💜
@@lonelyandforgottenisthe pretty sure they meant love “who YOU wanna love” as in feel comfortable being able to express your love for those who you want to love despite what others may think
@@Juvanii Hmm...although I see where you're coming from, and do agree with your point full-heartedly, I still think the phrasing would be better without the "wanna" since it could be misinterpreted as something different! I understant that it's the idea of not caring about who *others* _want_ you to love, and _wanting_ to follow your heart. However, as the "I still think" suggests, this is my personal opinion, soley to make things more clear.Thank you for sharing your perspective tho!! ☺💚
@@lonelyandforgottenisthe bro they even emphasised the ‘YOU’ to clear this exact misinterpretation and if you interpret it as anything else then youre just subconsciously trying to find an error in the original comment. I understand its your personal opinion and it would help make things clearer but it comes across as nit picking and unnecessary. the wording is fine as it is. both wordings (the one u suggested and the original) send out the exact same message, theres no bad underlying meaning to the original one
@@Juvanii Emphasising the "you" doesn't clear the misconception? The idea of the misinterpretation is the "wanna love." We do not *wanna love* someone, we do not choose who to love. There is no negativity in the comment but it is arguably better to make the change to reduce confusion. Last but not least, you don't gotta be so rude.
My 'favourite' one is "Oh you're gay? I don't mind, I'm open minded! Just don't fall for me!" and it's like... "Bish please, I have standards and you ain't nowhere close to fulfilling them" lol
When people say that ugh. I am not homosexual myself but I have and I will never Understand this. Oh yeh, she's lesbian, so she loves all the girls. Sure, because straight guys loves all the girls or what?! So dumb lol 😂
@@ELmayberry true. For some reason when heterosexual person feels offended, it kinda sus. It's like "did i just hurt your ego or what?Why felt offended tho? It's not like you like me right?"
I love how Bom is always so open to liking girls or to the possibility of liking a girl, She's also extremely adorable and beautiful TT . I am in love with her dammit.
As a bi girl it hit really hard when they questioned the guy about how he knows he likes girls, the "so every girl you see you feel love" because people often assume I can't say I'm bi just because I've never had a girlfriend and I've been in a straight relationship for almost 4 years, yet I know myself and I know I've always been attracted to girls I just supressed it. Just because I'm in a relationship with a man and plan to stay with him doesn't mean I don't have attraction to anyone else, it just means I found someone I want to be with and he happens to be a dude.
exactly, I feel this. I had a girlfriend and everyone was happy, but when I broke up with her due to liking a guy, everyone was like "I thought you were bi?" or "I thought you liked her, why'd you break up with her? You said you're bi." and it really hurt because just because i broke up with her because i lie someone else and they happen to e a guy, it doesn't make me straight.
@@djbella yes exactly, it's the same the other way around, if you left a guy for a girl it wouldn't suddenly mean you're a lesbian, bi means two, so as long as you like more than one gender you are bi (or anything under the bi spectrum like pan/poly ect.) But yeah you'd swear some people have no common sense 🤦🏻♀️ But just so you know you're valid as heck who cares what other people think 💁🏻♀️
Coming back to this- when the crew said “disgusting” it felt so visceral. And that’s not even the worst thing we’re called of course. What an amazing exercise. As a queer person we’ve gone through this our entire lives.. thanks for raising awareness
“Oh I don’t dislike straight people, I just don’t agree with their lifestyle.” “I just don’t understand why anyone would decide to be straight.” “Straight couples shouldn’t be shown on TV because kids won’t understand!” That’s what my grandma sounds like. I hope she’d feel differently if I phrased it like this.
When I came out as lesbian to my parents the were like “ well how do you know? It’s just saying a girl is pretty, you don’t love them! Don’t get friendship and love mixed up” and things like that really hurt me. I love my parents, they are so accepting, but saying things like that just mess with my head. I’m glad this video is bringing light to how hurtful it can be. Even if you don’t realize ur doing it, it’s bullying.
My mom was like this too when I told her I was bi. Like "how do you know? Have you dated a girl before?". I hadn't, but she would not ask the same if I told her I was straight. It's been about two years since then. I don't identify as bi anymore, in fact I don't use any labels. Just a couple weeks ago my sister made a borderline homophobic comment at dinner and my mom told her off, saying "it's called tolerance". Bitch I don't wanna be tolerated, I wanna be accepted.
I talked to my mum about my feelings towards women because I'm starting to realise I'm probably bi, and I was explaining my attraction, and she replied "isn't that just admiration?" my mum isn't judgemental at all and it just came from a lack of understanding, but I wanted to say "no mum, the thought of wanting to fuck and kiss a hot powerful woman isn't just admiration"
The sad thing is, their replies are easily accepted by us because it is really common sense. But when homosexuals give the same replies, people are often dismissive, say they are making excuses, and don’t take them seriously. Or worse, laugh and sneer at their explanations.
@@lechungus1832 the point is that the lgbtqia+ community are treated heavily due to their sexuality and gender identity compared to straight cis or both people.
@@lechungus1832 q: you’re dating a guy so are you attracted to every guy? straight a: different personalities, appearances, types etc. so no q: ahh that makes sense gay a: SAME ANSWER - different personalities, appearances, types etc. so no q: but that doesn’t make sense, please you can be gay but please just don’t have a crush on me
So, I’ve been closeted since I knew I was ‘different’ so whenever I present something in a ‘feminine’ way (i’m a cis gender boy) I feel so disgusted with myself and I recede further into the closet. Anyway, these questions really did a great job of triggering my fears, and that means you guys did a great job at showing homophobia. Edit: it is currently 22:55 PM, on a Saturday (27th November) I have seen all of these supportive comments flooding in my notifications for the past week about my experience with being gay and being scared of coming out. I’m aware that my way of thinking might be a little outdated, but I’m still thankful for people who are accepting of my circumstances. I’ve seen comments on points about femininity, stereotypes and other things, and I just wanna say that these comments have made it easier to see myself in a different light. However, even though coming out is different for everyone and can be scary, I’m going to continue to repress a part of me for now. I think that is easier, but also much more acceptable (for my situation). Once again, I want to thank everyone for saying much comforting things, and I hope, from the deepest part of my heart that in the future, I will be able to come out and finally show the world my whole self; even if it takes me 50 years or even on my death bed, I will make sure one day I am comfortable with myself and of others.
Strength is in knowing yourself and standing your ground in who you are no matter who you are around. It's okay to tap into the 'feminine' side, there is strength there too. I'm glad you are talking about being afraid and your feelings. One day you will find the strength to step out of the closet.
I'm rooting for you, I'm sure someday you'll be ready to present yourself just the way you are without feeling bad. We all are "different" in our own ways, so don't let that stop you from being happy.
you are beautiful the way you are. i hope someday you can feel safe to express yourself fully. (and until then, please remember that being in the closet is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of either!)
(sorry I rambled) I don't know why but some ppl (usually fujoshis - female) are obsessed with BL (boy's love), and apparently there has to be an 'uke' and 'seme' - I think it's a similar obsession (I kinda tipped my toes in that genre - I read a manga....I thought it was pretty innocent but the sex scene came too quickly so I just stopped there [actually I don't even remember if it was actually a sex scene because I just saw the explicit thing behind a weird thin censor and was like "nope" - I mean there's nothing wrong w/ porn, but I just probably rly wasn't in the mood to read/look at it at the time - I think I was also a little too young]) But tbh, straight ppl also ask this, so I guess it's just a common sexual question??? It's strange how some questions you may not actually ask to a straight person would be directed at a gay person tho...I get curiosity, but it's kinda rude; if you're not the type of person who would ask that to a straight person, why would you ask that to a gay person? And if they know that you're only asking them, and only because they're gay, then wouldn't that make them feel alienated?
@@606aichan7O7 yeah no its kind of awkward when a girl asks me cuz they're usually over the top and hella loud and excited. It always attracts attention. When a guy asks me its even worse cuz they act like its all disgusting and gross, do both of us a favour and dont ask me that question, you wont be disgusted, and i wont be put in this disturbing situation. And when a gay asks me, they're just tryna hook up so i usually just ignore everyone who asks said question. But if you're respectful about it, i usually would answer you. I dont really read bl so i dont really know how you feel about that.
it’s so common how many times I see people discuss this bout a same sex couple. And it shouldn’t be this normal to ask such questions cuz in a way you’re literally invading their privacy. Along with that the stereotypical way of thinking the more feminine person in a relationship is submissive and a bottom or the muscular broader one is dominant and a top. Like when did appearance of a person let people decide their dynamics in bed 😐
oh i think uke(bottom) and seme(top) usually be in novels, in reality just few people know exactly they are "top" or "bottom", they can swap the role, but everyone used to make it important, especially a part of fan of BL (just a part, many fangirls know how to behave properly)
PD: Disgusting... Me: oh damn, THEY'RE REALLY GOING FOR IT!!! 👁👄👁 (I'm happy they did tho, this was super interesting to watch) Edit: DaAaAaAaAaAaMn.... thanks for the likes you guys!!
@dkfca as someone who is bisexuell, it is really painful at first. Especially when you are in public holding the hand of your girlfriend and a group of strangers start following you , just to say mean and inappropriate things to us. I didn’t really listened to the words but i was shocked about the fact people in 2021 still do something like this.
@@mae0018 First off, I'm bisexual as well as trans so I feel this to my bone, I can't even walk holding hands with a person of any gender since I haven't transitioned. And secondly, Är du från sverige? If not then bisexual is misspelled.
@dkfca well I’m aroace (I don’t experience romantic or sexual attraction) and I’m also agender (I don’t identify as any gender). My identity is barley even talked about, even in the community, and we’re extremely under looked. We’re seen as psychopaths or just some heartless monsters. And people always tell us we haven’t met the right person yet, even though there is no right person. I’ve even gotten called weird by people when I talked about how I’ve never had a crush and aren’t interested in anyone. Almost everyone in the grsm (gender, romance, sexual minority) faces some type of discrimination. It hurts. It’s not like we get to control this part of ourselves. We just want to be treated like everyone else. But I do genuinely thank you for deciding to learn a bit more about what we have to face. And you’re right, we shouldn’t have to explain something as simple as who we do or don’t love.
@@Z_ayy Hi! Just know that you have someone in this world who appreciates you!!! Drink some water eat something good and take a deep breath of fresh air, you'll feel better♥️ Edit: btw, I'm bisexual too...
I'm a straight female. I was adopted by my two dads, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I get asked weird questions all the time about my parents though, and it's super uncomfortable.
Uhm please don’t call me homophobic but aren’t they asking you be lesbian? I mean I don’t know what questions they asked you and it’s okay you don’t have to say all the details or don’t tell me. But isn’t the father suppose to make their daughter comfortable and not ask things that make them feel uncomfortable? When you said “all the time” it just sounded like they wanted you to be lesbian. But you felt uncomfortable about the questions you were asked about your sexual and and not the boyfriend (I am so sorry for assuming all of this I wasn’t really sure the whole story it just what it seems to me.)
@@keychi7742 OP says "I get asked weird questions all the time about my parents" -> "I get asked questions, about my parents" The parents are not doing the asking. Other people ask questions to OP. Those questions from other people are about OP's fathers. (I don't want to make assumptions or sat offensive things, but as an example to explain) maybe "Why don't you have a mother, why do you have two fathers?" or "What is it like to have only fathers and no mother?" Also, I'm sorry to OP that there are people who ask things like that! I'm glad you made your comment, though. It's good for people to know that even though they're not thought about often, there are cases where non lgbtq people get pulled into uncomfortable situations due to remarks from homophobes.
I also dont want to sound rude and before I ask my question I think its cool your dads adopted you. I am all for people adopting , no matter if you are hetero or homosexual. Kids dont deserve to be without parents. I was raised by a mom and a dad and therefore I dont have the experience of a child by same sex parents. But I do wonder sometimes if the adopted kids miss sometimes to have a mom too. I personally could not imagine being without my mom, I guess because I am used to it to have her. But also having girls questions like about the period I was happy having my mom and thank god we learnt stuff in school. Never ever I could have talked with my dad about it. But when I got older I didnt give a damn and would mention it in front of my dad, especially if I had reall bad cramps. So I was always curious how two dads handle these kind if situations with their adopted daughters.
It’s funny how in the first few questions they thought nothing of it, but if a queer person were to hear the exact same, alarm bells would go ringing. They don’t need this built in alarm system, their first reaction to those kinds of questions aren’t “oh, their being discriminatory”
Yeah that was my first thought, those questions would be immediate red flags for me and they were just a bit surprised like "oh what a refreshing question nobody asked me before! /gen" as the question got heavier it shifted but it is interesting and also shows why people can get confused when you seem to "overreact" to a seemingly inoccuous question in their point of view.
My blood started to boil when he said “boys are genetically supposed to love girls” bc that’s really invalidating..but i get what he meant in a sense. Still, this experiment was super interesting to watch. Kinda heartbreaking too :(
@@samara.morgan That's definitely not biologically correct. Being able to feel "love" for the opposite sex is not genetically necessary for reproduction. There are tons of species that do not create bonds based upon love, but reproduct based upon sexual urges that are usually not directed only towards their opposite sex.
@@nightbird8348 I don’t think it’s because of that, but you’re right one thing is sure is that it’s been seen in many species, and in ours across times and places.
@@credendovides20 Come on, a lot of people mix love with sexual desire, I don't think we can take it literally. He was most likely talking about attraction. Love has many faces, we would have to talk about love towards parents, children, pets, friends... There's no sex in that. I don't know if you guys think I'm anti LGBT or what, but I'm just saying our specie feels the urge to survive. Some people mindlessly fuck, some build deep romantic connections, others become victims of abuse but all of these have at least a chance for pregnancy and survival of human race.
The one question they didn’t mention was the very awkward question of “So, how does that work? How do you do it together?” That they themselves are typically very uncomfortable asking. That’s most of the questions I’ve gotten, and it’s weird since I’m still under the age of consent, and most of the people that have asked that, 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 that.
I'm heterosexual, but I respect LGBTQ and always support my LGBTQ member friends. I've never asked why, how, it's just love. If someone have asked me these questions, I would be so uncomfortable so ... don't do this kinda things homophobes, you hurt people. You hurt people for what they are. This is their identity. Please respect
I fully respected what you said. It’s weird they make people ask these just because their heterosexual. Like..what’s wrong with it?? It’s not like I’m hurting these LGBTQ. Although I don’t support Community but it doesn’t mean I hate them just because they are gay or trans. I have friends are gays and trans so I don’t mind it. But just make people against someone they love just because their not gay and it’s disgusting?? I’m confused. Are we not allowed to choose our life to who we love or our sexual as in we stay heterosexual? Like I love this man for my whole life but it’s disgusting? Love is given from the heart we choose to follow our hearts. Not to give to in hatred. Because what would life would be without love? At this point I would just leave this place than answer it’s like they are disrespecting you from your love life and the choice you made. It’s not like you are harming them or anything to upset them you are just with the partner is just opposite sex and your happy be with the person. Nothing wrong with that.
@@keychi7742 Uhm, I'm not sure if I didn't understand your comment but I think you missed the purpose of this. These questions are similar or the same ones that homosexual or 'different' people get constantly asked just because they are homosexual. People feel entitled to pur privacy, our life, they act as if our thoughts and feelings aren't relevant or true, we're constantly questioned for existing and told we are confused or wrong. The intention of this video is to show how harmful these questions actually are, by showcasing how uncomfortable heterosexual people feel with the same situations. It is not made to harm, but to educate and creat a better understanding. Sometimes people will ask these questions to homosexual people and not realize it's wrong to ask, that it may cause harm or make them uncomfortable.
@@keychi7742 yes you're confused and don't understand the meaning of the video, and you're only interpreting it by the surface. It's 𝗻𝗼𝘁 about the questioning of hetero relationships (as shown in the video), it's about the questions people throw at LGBTQ individuals (the meaning behind this video). The video basically demonstrates heterosexuals getting 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗱 by their romantic preference to show how would they react if they were questioned the same thing. Taking your example... "Like I love this man for my whole life but it's disgusting?" - now put yourself as someone who loves the same gender... Do you want to hear those statements and doubts in your head? Certainly not.. and that's what some people put LGBTQ individuals through, it cuts deep and fuqs their head up. So rewatch the video and take yourself in a different perspective so you'll get it better.
i liked boys since i was 4 and got asked these at a very young age like when i was 13. It was really disturbing and living with a homophobic step dad is even worse. i have a trans gay brother and my step dad always says us being homosexual is a illness and other really mean stuff about my little brother being trans. When we call him out he denys his homophobia and blames are generation for our "illness"....
The only illness was the rampant homophobia and transphobia from his age. It's not that lgbtq is somehow becoming a bigger community now. It's that people used to live in denial or hide their true feelings. I hate when conservatives act like it's some new trend
As a woman who likes women, I think the most popular question that I get asked is "isn't it just a phase?" And told things like, "You'll go back to liking men later once you find the right one. You just had bad taste."
once, i came out to my mom as gay, she said it was just a phase. turns out i'm actually pansexual, but still, it hurts to know that she'll never accept me by who i truly am. she says she's bisexual to not sound homophobic but she also says she only feels attracted to men, both sexually and romantically. she has also lied about having a girlfriend just to win an argument bc she kept insisting she wasn't homophobic (again, she is). it breaks my heart that she'll never know i'm genderfluid because i'm too sfared to tell her (she's transphobic too lmao). i just wish i had good parents
I think it’s really important to point out their answer to “do you think this is love or could it be just a friendship?” Most of them said they weren’t sure at first, and worried it could just be a friendship, but it grew into love as they grew to know the person more intimately. I think that’s one of the problems facing LGBTQ people because we feel that way too, just like anyone else. So when people challenge us and say “how do you know it’s love and not just friendship?” I mean…..we don’t. But neither do straight people. Romance takes time to develop, and it will likely feel like a good friendship for all people for a while regardless of orientation. The problem comes when people use that answer as ammunition to be like “omg, See! You admitted it yourself, it feels like a friendship, not love!” Well…yeah. But that’s true of everyone. You are likely no different. Knowing for sure that you love someone and they love you back is not immediate, and is not guaranteed just due to your orientation.
That's because most people doesn't have enough context to know whether these questions are disrespectful or not. For example, what would you think if someone told you they want to cut their fingers off? Would you tell them to seek help? Would you tell them that what they're thinking is wrong? Most people doesn't have enough context to understand something that is completely alien to them for literal decades, especially for things that they never thought of or something that they will literally never do. Hopefully, in the coming decades society as a whole would learn to accept broader concepts. But until then, people who are different than the norm can only endure this BS.
@@laszlonagy02no gay people ever ask heterosexuals these questions. The entire point of the video was to illustrate how stupid these questions are when straight people ask them
Those questions just don't work with straight people. Especially the one ,,who is the girl and who is the boy" it's just not the same and it will never be
I don’t think so personally, straight people have a background of feeling comfortable loving the opposite sex so the questions just came off as confusing. They know society accepts them so why would they feel hurt from these questions?
@@cyan5260 i think they really struck hard when they mentioned it being disgusting. because it wasn't clear and they were confused, responding in a really heteronormative way until that point
“We’re built to love girls genetically” Must be nice to be taught that your love is natural your whole life. Felt a little like a cop-out when he said it though, like, says who? Our body holds pleasure and happiness above all else, the more that we study ourselves. Even higher than reproduction. Or food!
It’s not even right. There are identical twins with different sexualities so that alone disproves that theory. Genetics just slightly influence likelihood of having a certain sexuality.
Alright, alright, even thou I agree with you and I am not against people loving whoever they want to love, still saying that it's above reproduction is not going against the facts but just everything together. Once again, I do respect people loving each other and everything, yet, men...alright, let me phrase is properly, so I won't get called of for lots of things - If a human being does not have uterus, they can not give birth. That's it.
It feels like black mail with our own body. A male genitalia and women genitalia needed to reproduce our speces but the hormone what make us love is completely different than animals.
@@Anika9691 That is true, but it could also be their culture, and them trying to keep their composure while on camera. They all admitted to feeling slightly ashamed and confused, and I'm sure it would be on a bigger scale if random people asked those things regularly.
This is not on the same level as asking an actual gay person this, lmao, these were easy to answer and very generic. You can't really reverse none of them to an affective extent since they're really only directed to gay people.
I'm asexual/aromantic so some of these questions didn't really hit home for me but when I heard the "are you sure it isn't a "friend" love?" I was like "OOOOO DAMN THEY ASKED THAT ONE 😭"
Additional questions: "How does it feel to love ____?" "How long are you going to be with each other?" "How does it work?" "What did your friends say?" "If you like ____ then do you like me?"
Quick question: I promise I’m not some crazy homophobe or anything, but I just want to know how “do your parents know” or “how does it feel to love ___?” can hurt someone?
@icecreamsund Yes. It's mainly because these questions are very rarely asked genuinely- The moment we hear any of this we already know we're being judged, from there on anything you say and everything you don't will be used to question and invalidate you further. You're feeling doubt? "You're a liar", "you're not really gay", "See I told you! You're just doing it for attention" Do my parents know? Do they need to? It's nothing they should be concerned about unless I decide to marry or choose to tell them. This question often carries the implication that your parents *must* know, even if you don't want that. That they should approve or disprove of your relationship, that you are doing wrong and your parents must fix it (similar feeling to going "Oh, god, do your Parents know you're doing drugs /have tattos??"). It's judgemental and assumes your parents have control over you. The question "How does it feel to love ___" Is not as easily harmful, but it's still a sensitive topic and should be avoided if possible. There's a lot of issues with people seeing homosexual relationships as attractive- entertaining and strange. There's also the implication that gay love is this weird thing, that somehow a girl lovin' another girl is so different from a boy loving a girl that it must be kept separate. That's not true, it *is* different but it's not because it's gay love. It's because everyone loves in different ways, sure it's still love but I'm not gonna love my spouse the same way my parents loved each other- We've experienced different things, we're different people and we treat our relationship differently too. Gay love isn't different enough from straight love to require this question- sure it's not exactly offensive but it's also not the nicest thing to be asked. It all depends though, both of this questions aren't necessarily harmful- context and the individuals involved make a big difference in how they might be received and answered. Maybe I would feel offended by these questions, but someone else would be glad to answer.
I also have a question. How is "How long are you going to be with each other" and "How does it work" or "what does it feel like to love ____" , Offensive? Idk, cus I feel like these questions shouldn't be offensive unless the person is acc homophobic and are just using it to offend you. But taking away the homophobes and just looking at it as a question in general, what part of it is offensive. Like, let's say someone is genuinely interested in gay/lesbian relationships and wants to know if it's any different from straight ones. And they ask how it works, etc. I can imagine it wouldn't feel very comfortable to be asked those questions but would it be considered as homophobic even if the person doesn't have those intentions. And with the "How long are u gonna be with each other" I also don't see why that's put in a homophobic light when it's towards LGTBQ+ members. Like I said, unless the person is homophobic, it sounds like a just generally offensive question and not directly homophobic. So yh, what's the exact reasoning behind it, cus some of the questions in the comment section don't rlly strike as homophobic unless it's a homophobe saying it, cus in that case you know they want to offend the person based on sexuality alone. Anyway yh that's my question
Because asexuallity usually explained as someone who don't love any of the genders. That's what I heard everywhere. If that's not the csae than you guy have to coms out and correct everyone.
@@laszlonagy02 Asexual means not feeling sexual attraction. Aromantic is not feeling romantic attraction. It's kind of confusing since those things are considered synonymous for most people, but things like Asexual Panromantic do exist. I hope this clears things up!
That's so fucking dumb lol. It's like saying not having sex for a single day means you're no longer in love The way you act around your partner and with friends are totally different, they should know that
@@blakedoesarts Lmao you think you're actually doing something. I could not care in the slightest if you deliberately use the wrong pronouns for me. I know who I am, and whether some rando weirdo like you accepts it or not isn't my problem. The fact that trans people need constant affirmation from the people around them shows how insecure they are in their "gender identity". But that's just something that inevitably happens when you don't accept biological reality.
when i first outed myself (i thought i was bisexual back then) to my classmates all the girls asked me if i liked them, and it honestly made me incredibly uncomfy, cuz when they thought i was straight no one asked me if i liked every boy i saw. it made me realize that homosexuality is a very unfamiliar topic for many heterosexual people, just because they arent confronted with it very often, especially not in educational ways, like in school. obviously there are many heterosexuals that know of the hardships lgbt people often have to face, but still i feel like theres a huge stigma around talking about it openly. only recently we had the topic 'love' in school and i was really hoping the teacher would at least dedicate a small amount of the lessons he had to go through the topic to talking about lgbtq and bringing a lil awareness to it. but when i mentioned something about same-sex relationships, he told me that "we are only talking about heterosexual couples, *normal* relationships". im not even sure if he meant it offensively, but it genuinely hurt to hear that. i hope that in the future i will hear a lot more people talk about lgbt relationships, straight or queer, in an educational and open-minded way! thank u for this video, i found it quite interesting and i think its great that you guys put this topic in one of your videos! thank u 🏳️🌈🤍
I really liked how the one girl didn’t immediately take offense or get hostile, but just answered the questions in a genuine and thoughtful manner. She later says she was confused by the questions but just assumed the person asking had a different background. She also pointed out how everyone has their own unique perspective on love, regardless of orientation, meaning that each person has a unique and valid experience to share that may differ vastly from others who even share their orientation. This is how we should be having conversations with people different from ourselves, not attacking or assuming the worst, but actually seeking to inform and be informed in return. Without positive education, how can we expect anyone to learn about the differences of others?
I mean yeah but these are very uncomfortable questions. Especially after being asked so many times and often getting treated negatively. After a while it just sets off warning bells in your head. These are all questions straight people don't get, it's like we can never be equal.
it depends. some questions aren’t innocent and can cause the person to feel uncomfortable. and sometimes people go too far. we shouldn’t have to answer uncomfortable and invasive questions so someone can “understand” a relationship
Agreed, but I also agree with the replies above - the root of these questions is rarely genuine. The point is, how people even think it's acceptable to ask this stuff. They don't consider how confusing, hurtful or passive-aggressive these questions would feel if asked at themselves about their straight relationship. There's a reason we straight folks don't get these... and it's all because of the biases we've been raised with against anything other than straight love (even unacknowledged things you aren't aware were prejudicial). Knowing this, I don't think it's always a reasonable expectation to think LGBT folks being asked this 'should' always be positive and educating. Sometimes, you just wanna go about your life, you're not a walking spectacle infopoint... especially for what is common sense at the end of the day... and most of the time anyway, the work to realise all the ways to love humans is natural and deserves respect comes from people overcoming their biases by themselves, and that certainly rings true for me - if you were brought up being shown it's 'unnatural', you're not going to listen to the 'unnatural' side's views, it takes your own effort into logically deconstructing your bias, and your own humility and self-awareness to even want to begin to do that. I just realised I typed for so long lol, I know long posts can sound like negativity or trying to start an argument, but I promise I ain't trying to, it just took lots of words to explain my two cents I guess. Generally I still agree with your point, just wanted to show how the last bit isn't always such a simple case, I hope you understand!
Okay, Bom, you're awesome, but you don't "turn" homosexual. From what I've seen and known due to the fact I have friends that are LGBT+, you more discover that you are what you are. Apparently, you can be fluid with it, but either way, you discover it. You're not an Animorph lol.
i don't think she was talking in that way , as queer woman i understand what she meant , that maybe now she don't know herself enough and that if in the future she would understand that she like women she wouldn't like if her friends made those questions (sorry for my english i hope you understand what i meant )
the translation is just slightly off. i know korean and she didn't even say the word homosexual there, a more accurate translation would be "it's possible i may end up liking a girl (in the future)" her wording in korean wasn't homophobic at all, however the translation is a bit questionable!!
I guess she was saying that she’s open with the possibility of liking a girl. But maybe the translations are weird or she didn’t knew how to express about it
@@klinn2240 i dont think that the slight mistranslation is homophobic and i don’t think op thought that either, they’re just educating since a lot of people tend to think that gay people were once straight and just “turned” gay. either ways i’m glad that she was so open minded to the possibility of her not being straight and wasn’t disrespectful about it :’)
The dark short haired girl is absolutely adorable, she's being respectful and kind while explaining loving someone should never be consider wrong, I love her
i hope from this video people will think twice to ask questions to LGBTQ people, think if you were in the position will you feel hurt or offended if you ask the question.
@@Anika9691 That's not how straight people are supposed to be, or anyone for that matter. You can be an ass any way you please, but don't go after people all of a sudden because that's what you think you "should" do. And if you didn't do anything in the first place, good. Then nevermind the video. But don't be a parrot just because you learned some new words, kid.
The "Disgusting" hits quite hard oof, luckily I personally have not experienced hate like that before but it just makes you realize how many people do have to deal with that shit on a very frequent basis. :(
“Boys are born to love girls genetically”. I mean. Not all of them, I’m hoping that’s just a miscommunication between translations or something. They seem relatively respectful. Edit: Please ignore negativity! It's more fun that way and avoids giving people's bad takes attention. Drink some water and have a nice day!
I feel like if it's not translated wrong he just didn't know how to properly phrase it. Either way I don't think he wanted to be disrespectful to anyone when saying that
@@Nightshade31401 Literally almost all animals (and even bugs!) in nature have at least one example of a same sex or otherwise non-heterosexual relationship and our closest animal relative is a high libido bisexual polyamorous ape, so not really. It’s not just the chemicals in the water turning the frickin frogs gay. 💚
@@gh0stgarbage You're taking this much too seriously. I was making a joke saying men are in fact attracted to women not that they're only attracted to them. So calm down not everything is a debate. I could honestly care less what people like because they're not me.
I once had a friend, she was bisexual and she was the first not-heterosexual person I've ever met. One day I explained it to her and got her permission to ask any questions I want, so I asked a couple of these ones too. What I mean is that sometimes people are not trying to be disrespectful, maybe they just want to understand you guys better. Especially when you are asked by polite and caring people. Of course there a lot of rude and mean people. And you definitely have a right to deny answering. But maybe that is not always necessary, if you don't mind talking about your sexuality, feelings and relationship. It would be cool, if we share what we feel to understand each other and make the world a better place ❤️
That is certainly true for some of the questions like: "How does it feel to like (someone of the same sex)?" Or "Are you sure you love/like this person and it's not just friendship?" As long as person asking is asking in a tone and manner that doesn't seem like they disrespectful and they know when to stop asking them, it's all good tbh.
@@Cynicalhamptur idk the "are you sure you sure you love\like this person" would piss tf out of me from anyone Fuck are you insinuating? That I might be classifing my feelings towards the person wrong? That I don't actually feel that way deep down and I just want to be best buds?
@@Cynicalhamptur absolutely agree, the reason why you are asking (because you actually want to find out the answer or just to bother another person) really matters
@@bong_water I understand you and it really can sound like this Although I only would like to add that I asked this question as well and I really didn't mean to offend my friend then. There were absolutely no insinuation (I'm sorry if I use the word incorrectly), and the only thing that I meant was ,,please explain to me how does it feel to understand you love a person of the same sex as I have no experience and can't realize it fully''. Her answer was something like ''Are you able to understand whether you are in love with a guy or you are just friends''. And I went ''Uhm.. yeah.. that's clear of course, sure, yeah'' And that was it, the moment of realization, because I really hadn't thought before, that it CAN feel the same. I was sure it must feel different somehow and be regulated by other... rules idk So when I realized, I understood, that it was quite dumb question to ask, but still I'm happy I got the answer then, as now it it clear in my view of the world I'm not telling you that you can't feel what you feel (about the question). I just wanted to share my experience how this question can provoke the change of mind at some point
@@bong_water I wouldn't put any blame on them. Sometimes, simple things can be hard to see at first. At least here, they ask for permission to ask such questions and make sure that they weren't being rude and intrusive.
The amount of times I been asked "so are you the girl or the guy?" is unreal. We are both guys dude, that is the whole reason you are asking me about it to begin with.
"Do your parents know?" can be an extremely scary question to most heterosexual *adult* couples in India. Heterosexual teen couples being exposed to their parents means tata-byebye to friends & life outside home. You can imagine how worse it is for lgbtq+ here.
4:28 well it doesn't quite work like that but I understand what she means- You don't just turn a different sexuality out of no where. It stays the same your whole life. You can discover you're a sexuality, but it's what it always was.
When they just outright said “disgusting…” and I saw their faces drop I wanted to cry. I’m bi, but I haven’t dated anyone and if I ever got that kind of reaction Idk what I’d do. I’m glad they’re getting perspective on this. It’s really important
Well if Bom eventually comes out as not straight (bi pan or whatever) good for her. if she's just straight, good for her too. her boyfriend is lucky. she's such a good person
That video was really amazing.I think after watching this some people may realize how the homosexual people really feel,when they ask those kinda questions
This was an interesting experiment. I'm not in the lgbtq community but I do challenge those around me to consider how they treat other people. A lot assume that because I am friends with them and stand with them that I to, must be gay. You don't have to be gay to have respect for gay people. I think that it cost $0.00 to be kind, compassionate, loving and accepting of everyone no matter their differences.
"disgusting" and look at their expressions.. I felt like crying because yk.. queer people go through this on a regular basis.. hats off to you guys for showing this.. how heteronormativity has made the queer people "dirty" and "disgusting".. lol.. funny.. how love and gender are questioned because, society has made some particular standards for us.. And we are NOT born to love our opposite sex, genetically :))
@@theroyaljules39 doesn't exist in most countries. although i can't speak for op, where i live there is only a "same sex marriage certificate". it is basically a title and doesn't give you legal rights to visit your so in hospital or adopt children together and so on, and on top of that it is only available in certain cities. but even this, which is nothing compared to the normal marriages straight couples have, is considered very progressive here and there are still people against it. that's the first thing that comes to mind when people ask lgbtq people when they're getting married, for me.
I'm not asked these questions, but as an aromantic asexual, those questions are really annoying to me as well, as is "you'll change your mind" and things like that.
I don't think this was in the video because I didn't watch the whole thing but I often see people asking to people part of the gay community "Are you top or bottom?". It's so fucking weird and it's not someone's place to be concerned with others sexual life.
I think I remember one time someone else had said like 'arnt you worried your making a mistake that your going to regret?' Like as if having that conversation with them in the first place wasnt a big one already.
As a gay man, hearing these questions is really hitting home. Kinda fun seeing it flipped on its head so straight people can see how uncomfortable and awkward these questions are.
It is uncomfortable when you have to prove and validate your own emotions the key thing is that these emotions are yours alone no one else can tell anyone how to feel so im glad others can empathise and mutually understand while I'm not so glad others try to be dismissive and invassive at the same time I appreciate this social experiment
I loved this video. It's really what it feels to be asked this person as a person of the LGBT+ community. Some of them got uncomfortable, some got hurt, and their answers were exactly what LGBT people would say and feel. I wish this is something homophobes get exposed to a lot so they see. And i want more things like this to be shown to societies especially mostly homophobic ones
I'm glad I watched this because these kinds of questions are humiliating and dehumanizing to us LGBT people, but straight people can't seem to understand that.
This whole video made me sad but a bit happier. Its so healing to see people experiencing other people's uncomfortable experiences and learn from it and understand.
Why did this almost make me cry Their answers hurt so much I’ll never have the luxury to answer those questions how they did I’ve known that straight people have a lot of privilege but it never really sunk in until I heard their answers Though I take pride in my identity as a queer person it would be nice to be straight
i remember the time when my COUSIN said to me "since your lesbian, do you like little girls too?" (she was like 8, and meant it in a way to say like "ew, dont have a crush on me") and my heart broke instantly, that was the most horrible reaction that i had gotten to coming out, i was horrified at the fact that she would think in the slightest that i would like someone remotely her age not to mention the fact that she was my COUSIN. It is horrible that lgbt+ are treated like this, i could not believe that she could think something like that.
