Ask Kati Anything! podcast ep.1 

We're filming these as well as making them available anywhere you listen to podcasts (you'll be able to find it in the days to come). To watch: ru-vid.com Hit Subscribe & Click the Bell for notifications! New episodes of AKA will be released every Thursday and if you want something on the lighter side, Sean and I have a podcast called "Opinions That Don't Matter!" that comes out on Saturdays (same channel)

"We're starting off light... with suicide." Kati, I am laughing so hard that I am in tears. Thank you for being amazing. Always proud to be your patron.

An hour of Kati? SO HERE FOR THIS 28:19 is SO RELATABLE😂😂

Enjoying watching it. I think It'd be nice to have timestamps for each question! 1:57 Have you ever lost a client to suicide? If so how did that make you feel? 3:40 When can therapy be more harmful than beneficial? 8:16 Do you ever get frustrated with clients not making progress? How do you address that issue? 14:56 I'm not sure if this has been asked before, but what is the process for clients if a therapist dies? I feel like it would be very traumatic and a setback. 19:12 How to access and fix unconscious negative beliefs that have formed in early childhood and strengthened during growing up? 31:00 How can you open up and talk about your feelings if all you feel is numbness? For me, I don't know how to describe my emotions... What do you think this means? Thank you! 37:20 What made you want to become a therapist? 49:04 How do you improve the feeling that you’re stuck in your routine, and the day to day just isn’t as interesting or fulfilling anymore? 56:15 How do you know what should be dealt with through therapy and what should be dealt with chemically?

I've been seeing my therapist for a year and she is hands down the best therapist I have ever seen or will ever see, truly life-changing. But we have never had a treatment plan, nor do I think that would have even been of any benefit to me. A treatment plan, whilst useful for severe conditions, for most patients suggests that there is an "end" to therapy which never happens. Self-development and emotional mastery is an eternal skill, and it can't be "reached" in a way a plan would dictate

Kati.... Your voice is so calming 😭❤️

I love hearing you swear so much and tell us to just deal with it. Makes you seem so much more down to earth

I’m so happy you’re starting a podcast, it gives me something to look forward to regularly!!! 💙💙

i love this kati. it's a more "chill" style of sharing your wisdom, like a friendly chat. i think this is my favourite thing of yours to date. thankyou so much for being you, and doing everything you do. you have a beautiful soul, and just for the record you ARE so worthy, and you are so enough. shoosh those silly beliefs that try to convince you otherwise, because they definately aren't true. you are appreciated more than you'd ever know in this world. sending lots of light and love your way.

I’m so hyped for more of these!!

Numbness, for me, is like being an observer with the ability to interact but without the will to do so in a way that is more than passive. Passive interactions won't necessarily be the most beneficial, but the emotional numbness prohibits our ability to invest in seeing through a positive outcome. It's a feeling of "letting the chips fall where the may." Then a self-resentment for not having proactively engaged more in getting your own self interests met.

My husband and I (married 36 years/ high school sweethearts) are new to therapy and finding it's very helpful. He sees his locally, mine the online sessions "betterhelp" . But we watch your videos, podcasts together and we both greatly appreciate your help, clear teachings and find we're learning a lot. Thank you for doing what you do and so well - so honest! Btw totally getting the journal & love the title! 😁💗

Thank you, Kati. You make perfect sense to me! 😊

She answered my question 😍😍😍. That made me so happy. 1st one was mine. Thank you for talking about this.

Everything about why you love being a therapist, could have been myself talking about what I have loved about being a teacher...especially watching "my kids" grow up and marry, have their own kids, etc (even though it makes me feel super OLD sometimes, despite being only 43, LOL)!♡>"

So glad about this - spend over 10 hours a week commuting to work and back. Something new to listen to :)

This is awesome! Thank you for branching out in this way. I love the way you let us see how this is new for you, it comes off as more real than the first podcast being so polished and "perfect." I appreciate your channel, and all the hard work you've put into this. 💜

Katie I will listen to you're podcast everyday!💕

I love the intro

Need this on spotify!! 💞

I've had so many really bad therapists and I'm so beyond grateful that I found my current therapist. Past therapists ignored various signs I dissociated and let me stay dissociated for sessions at a time and pushed way to far/hard, a few wanted to do EMDR but only had sessions once in a while. My current therapist realizes how my brain works, my current situation with my chronic illnesses and genetic diseases and so much past trauma, including past traumatic therapy and doctor experiences. Past therapists have attributed to so much of my trauma, trust issues and so on that I'm glad that my current one understands why I do what I do and why my brain and behaviors are what they are and are willing to meet me half way and vice versa. Plus they don't get mad at me for struggling and having a near panic attack in session since most of my past therapists got mad at me for getting upset, panicking and a few even fired me for doing those things. Thank you for the videos!

I rarely comment but I genuinely enjoyed this so much and would love for another one, really appreciate you Kati! ❤️

All the work you out into this is amazing, they fact that you type out all the questions and type stamps really shows dedication. Also your voice is so relaxing and your really pretty by the way. Stay safe🥰

53:30 My god this is so relatable as a content creator. I can’t pull from an empty pitcher I have to fill my jug too.. so true!

Congratulations on your podcast. Your channel has provided me with a wealth of useful information and I look forward to watching all your coming podcast episodes. Good luck. Moh'd from Germany:) 🇩🇪

You'll always be worthy to us, thankyou kati! ☀️💚

Im buying your book as a birthday present im a survivor of suicide march 7 of 2017 life is a gift i love your channel god bless you

Great Kati!! Keep up the great work! Thank you for sharing all these useful information with us! So my question is how should we break dysfunctional patterns with men that we are attracting or that are attracted to us! I wish you all the best!!

This podcast has been so informative and you have covered a few things that I really need to understand about myself. Thank you so much for this. 💗 💕

Your explanation of frustration is the epitome of " I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed! "

I love the style of your channel. Ive been watching you for years. I was in my 20’s when I started watching you. Now in my 30’s and also finally in therapy myself. I absolutely love how vulnerable you are and hearing your own journey with a therapist. Your college experience. I love that. You’re still strong and I also love how you are connecting with us letting us know. That you yourself as a professional deal with stages and issues with life like the rest of us.

So many levels of amazing!! thank you, thank you for taking the time to make this 🙏 both you and Sean. P.s no need to apologise for it "maybe being boring" this is what we're here for 💜

Fascinating stuff Kati! I, myself am a solid routine guy. I'm lost and even upset if there is any change to my beloved routine. However, part of my routine is to listen to mind stimulating broadcasts while I go about my daily chores. And it's podcasts like this that bring so much joy to my life as I love to learn. Thanks for all you are doing. You ARE making a huge difference in my life!

Oh cool episode one!! I loved and value your content so much ❤

I was in therapy for a very loong time and it did help but I was still very unstable and the skills I was learning couldn't be effective because my nervous system was stuck in constant "fight or flight" mode. Once I started on meds my therapy has been much more effective now and both together work wonderfully.

on a lighter note. I absolutely love and appreciate all that you do and really looking forward to listening to more of your podcasts!

How do you know if a repressed memory is real or not. I have this memory that keeps coming back to me and every time it does it bugs me even more that last time. And this person the memory is about is an alcoholic does that mean that this person did what I think he did.

Kati, I'm currently about a year from completing my bs in developmental psychology and looking at whether I should pursue a PsyD or masters program. What exactly is the difference in what you can do as a licensed therapist vs psychologist in regards to counseling? EDIT: Just finished ch4 of your book and there it was all laid out 😅 Thanks for answering my question. P. S. Love your new podcast, they truly brighten my day

Please find some way to announce when you’re ready to gather more questions. Meaning post it all over. I follow all your socials but it never popped up on any of them. I totally love this podcast concept, keep it up!!

My question is....in terms of support, understanding, being patient and accepting, not being angry at the person... what can someone expect from a friend vs. from a therapist? I am struggling as a friend to set up good boundries. Thanks Kati for the good work!

Hey Kati Have you ever had a client who is suffering from low self esteem because they are suffering from depression since they were a preteen who has a family history anxiety? What coping skills would have your clients do?

I definitely do the backing off and feeling like i am taking up space. I realized that the more I do that the more other people notice it and confirm it. If I keep backing up people expect me to go out of my way to do things and make way for them and it becomes a terrible cycle.

Katie, my first real therapist--Ben--who I saw from November 1983 until spring 1985 died from cancer. I was the last patient he ever saw. His son, also a PhD, took over the practice and I started seeing him. Craig was my therapist from 1985 to 2010.

Hey Kati, I have a question. It might be a little triggering, so I don’t know if you’ll answer it. But, I know I’m not alone in this struggle, and I need a way forward and out. How do you recover from bad therapy or bad treatment? How do you make yourself brave enough and vulnerable enough to ask for help a second time? I went inpatient a couple years ago, and have literally had flashbacks of being there every day since then. Inpatient settings can be hell for domestic violence survivors and those with other forms of abuse. Being locked in, losing all autonomy, cold/indifferent staff, strict rules, feeling voiceless/unheard, etc. my PTSD was completely ignored while there, and it did massive amounts of harm. Asking for help feels synonymous with asking for abuse. How do I get support that actually feels like support? How do I find treatment that removes the coercion and power plays? How do I make it so that anything pro-recovery doesn’t remind me of my previous treatment experience and reduce me to a rubble of tears? Help!!!!

Can we restore our brains to have self confidence and believe in ourselves? As a child I was fun and outgoing. As an adult I feel numb, stuck and lack confidence.

This reminds me of the KatiFAQ videos back in the day. I love your off the cuff responses, it really feels like you're genuine and communicating your real self and your real thoughts about things rather than scripted. I have a question: people always say you need longer in therapy if you've been through complex trauma. But how long is "longer"? Ideally, with a CPTSD diagnosis, how long would you expect it to take for someone to work through their trauma and then no longer need therapy?

I'm writing down some things to talk in my therapy session while listening to this podcast. Isn't it awesome? ILY ♥

i loved this a lot. you can just speak freely without worrying about time.

Oh my god I’m so excited about this! I’m about to start grad school in the fall for Clinical Mental Health Counseling and I love hearing about people’s journeys into the field. Can’t wait for more episodes! ❤️

I could not agree more on the meds and therapy point. I’ve been in therapy for a while and I hit crisis just after New Year and I was too ill to engage in therapy. My primary diagnosis is BPD. Now I’m on an anti psychotic as well as an anti depressant and it’s got me back to a place where I can actually engage with therapy again :) Thank you for your videos Kati, you’re amazing.

"and were starting off light with suicide " to be honest I think that this is how the conversation should feel not scary or dramatic

I was waiting all day yesterday for the podcast like “why hasn’t it dropped yet?” turns out I don’t know the days of the week, it was only Wednesday 😂 Great first episode, Kati! Can’t wait for the next one

Thank you Kati for creating this wonderful podcast

What’s the difference between a psychiatrist and a therapist. Like I know a psychiatrist is the one who can prescribe medication and has a medical background. But if a psychiatrist can basically embody a therapist giving the patient techniques and coping skills and well as provide talk therapy or CBT etc.. why do some people have a psychiatrist AND a therapist. Why can’t you just have a psychiatrist?

Thanks Kati. I appreciate your time and energy in creating these videos.

I already like this podcast because it addresses so many different topics at once. The questions were really good so far (I'm not finished yet ;-).

Your presence heals me !

I love this format for your talents and look forward to more. Kati, you are a beacon of light and your words and compassion and expertise have meant so much to me these last few years.

As a Uk citizen who can give consent... I would NEVER want relations like that with my therapist and the fact some people do makes me... shiver

Love these types of videos. I haven’t watched in a while but kinda been dipping my toe in again and was quite shocked when Kati cussed! Not that she’s not allowed to swear just surprised, well that happened moving on 😂. Love you kati find your videos so helpful!

Answering question 2, therapy was unhelpful for me when I went to a session because I knew my mam was worried about me and I felt bad. I went once, lied, didn't get the right help and I left feeling so invalidated, alone and upset. A part of me wanted the therapist to see through the lies and force out the truth I'd been hiding for so long. I wasn't willing to open up and it made me feel as though I was so broken that even a professional couldn't help. I had a very negative attitude towards therapists for a long time afterwards but thankfully that has changed. So yeah, long story short, I feel therapy can be unhelpful when the patient isn't ready to change, open up, or participate.

Hey Kati, I wasn't sure where to ask this question for it to be answered on this podcast for next week but I was wondering how to balance self care versus getting shit done. When do I know when to do things to make me happy and when to just suck it up and do what I have to do even though I will be unhappy. Im afraid I blame my depression on not going to work, hanging with friends, and not studying for tests, but I am afraid I'm just lazy and I need to man up and do these things bc no one wants to go to work or study for their tests, but thats how life is. Help!

Also I love this podcast. All questions are so interesting and so are your answers!

I normally have such a bad attention span, but I'm so captivated by this video! I love the candidness here!

I had this exact conversation with my therapist, about taking responsibility for other people's actions! It really stuck with me and has helped me let go of a lot of obsessing thinking. I love your take on being okay with taking up space, too. That is something I am starting to learn and feel much better for knowing :)

My question would be I think I have social anxiety. I have never been diagnosed but because of the social anxiety(I think) I’m afraid to tell my parents. What is the best way to go about talking to them?

I love u Kati thanks so much for changing my life and the lives of my friends (I seem to only be friends with other mental people lol!) for the better!!

I think this is a great idea and hope you continue on with it 🙂👍

how can we get people to undersand what happins in are head when we have anxiety? how do we tell people how we are feel when you don´t like talking about your feeling? ps love you so so much!!!

LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS !!!! Between OTDM, weekly vids, and NOW this...hmm🤔 ...can anyone say "effective time management?"🤣🤣

Hey Kati🌸 I love your videos they’ve been so helpful to me. My question is: my psychologist has asked me before, “what is your favorite thing about yourself?” Or “what is something you’re really good at, that you like?” I always have trouble with that. Why do you think that is?

*gasp* A podcast! How did I miss this? Yay I'm so excited 🙂

... watching 2nd time... Thank you for this awesome community

this is my favorite thing in the entire world i appreciate you so so much kati!! this made me smile a lot :)

I can't put into words how happy I am for your podcast!!!!

"This is 2020"...yep, you do say it like that all the time as you alluded to in OTDM lol too funny

I love how you jump into deep and dark right off the bat. It's the way to be.

Thanks that's awesome I didn't know shrinks can't say hi in public unless you initiate it. That's actually a relief to know. Thanks for the info. Awesome channel

what do you do when you're so messed up that your therapist doesn't want to see you? what do you do if this has happened since you were a child and everyone around you always leaves/dies/becomes unstable/unavailable? what do you do if the only people that stay abuse you or drug and traffic you but also eventually leave you? how do you heal from 30 years of trauma if nobody thinks you are worth being around? how do you feel okay to go outside to talk to anyone if there is no one to trust? how do you feel okay to make friends when the only person you started to ever feel comfortable around died by suicide? what do you do when your own mother pressed charges on you at 9 yrs old after traumatizing you at 7 years old and getting you diagnosed at 8? how do you feel better about yourself when they told you that you deserved to sleep next to murderers for blacking out in rage and punching her, but you were abused by her- but you still feel like it was all your fault and that youre a bad person? how do you change your thoughts that emotional response can be controlled when you were told as a child that you were not capable of doing that but that you should be punished for not being capable? does the brain ever heal from being put on heavy sedating psychiatric medications as a child? why am I not good enough to get better? why does no one care? am I really worthless?

Suggestion read the book trauma sexuality. I did not progress in therapy and quit after increasing depression. I had a horrible lonely time and tried to keep on moving, but stayed stuck. After 3 more years memories of early childhood abuse came back into my conciousness. It explains sooooo much! Wished a therapist could have seen it earlier.

Great podcast! I love your answers. If I had any nit at all, it would be saying "f**k." Not because of the offense to prude sensibilities so much as the undermining of your professionalism. Without the gratuitous use of that expletive, your podcast is perfect.

Please please make these kinds of videos more regularly

Thanks so much Katie I love to hear your advice but it’s even more interesting to hear about your stories, keep them coming!

I love the intro, here i am at work listening to you. Thank you for always growing into different things.

Thank you so much for doing this! I love your Q and A videos and this is basically a longer version of that

Thank you for sharing all this. It gives me a better understanding of what it means to be in therapy.. ❤

🥺💞💞love uuuuu and keep up the great workkk♡♡♡

I had a bad therapist once. I was there because of my ED and after I told her how much I thought I should be eating she told be that I would gain weight if I ate that amount (she said that without asking anything about my exercise routine etc). To clarify, she say it in a harsh and un-empathetical way, and she didn't care about how I would feel when she said it. That was definitely a setback in my recovery and I didn't see her again. Also, she was the only licensed therapist/psychologist in my area.

The thing about medication that some people don't realise is that it really isn't a simple happy pill or a cure. More than that, often times your first antidepressant won't work for you and sometimes you have to go through a long and tiring process of trying different meds at different doses until you find the right one or the one that is least terrible. It takes about 4 weeks to start seeing an effect but 6-8 is when they should be working at their optimal point so it can really take a long time to find a med that works. Not to mention all the side effects that come with it as well as the fact that it costs money - not as much as therapy but it adds up.

Lol you said it's not me it's you... Hahaha. Dang that is so honest. ❤️

Thanks for all you do

Hi Kati! love the podcasts! I would love it if you could talk about Mental Health and the EMS or First Responder community? How does someone in EMS who sees trauma repeatedly take control of their mental health? What is a "normal" response to seeing trauma on a frequent basis? What is considered a "bad" response?

I love this long-form Q&A! Thank you!

Your most helpful video yet.

love it love it love it!!!!!

My therapist died when I was a very young child (yes, I was in therapy beginning at 4, until he passed when I was 9). It was VERY traumatic because I was not prepared (he was sick and I didn’t know). It has affected me my whole life and I am now working through it in my current therapy (the first I have committed to since I was 9…I am 39 now). I have abandonment issues, which I am now realizing. My therapist dying definitely plays into that, in part. I know that wasn’t the direction your answer went, but my mind did. Ha! For those who have had a therapist die and you have struggled…it gets better. I was such a young child when he died that I still continued to talk to him in my alone time. I still do, though not as frequent. I often wonder what he would say to me 30 years later and all I have survived. I think he would be proud. He would be empathetic. He would still hold the space for me. Wow, didn’t expect to write all this. Thank you, Kati! I love that I have recently discovered your channels. :)

Laughing to myself from the future when Kati said "I want to see live music more"... And then came the pandemic 😂😂 It's always interesting to look back at videos/photos etc from pre-covid. (I know covid is serious and devastating but I just thought it was ironic. Especially as this was filmed like a week before lockdown. I hope everyone is doing ok

I found my new favorite podcast

Plz plz plz do more of these types of podcasts. So helpful and informative ❤️

Thank you for makibg this podcasts