Why do I Feel So Angry??

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As you know, anger is often a secondary emotion. Meaning that it’s used to protect us from something else we are feeling, such as humiliated, hurt, scared, rejected or anything that’s hard to admit we feel. Anger can seem safer than those emotions, and when asked what’s going on or how we are feeling, we can confidently say “I feel angry!” Or even if we aren’t comfortable feeling angry or saying that out loud, we can stew in it instead of admitting to ourselves that we are actually very hurt. In other words, whether we express our anger outwardly or not, it’s still there and more comfortable than the primary emotion.
For the most part, anger exists as a way for us to get out of any threatening situation and survive, that’s why when we feel vulnerable, hurt, or humiliated (for example) anger pops up and distracts us. It senses the threat of more hurt or upset and protects us. And if you hadn’t guessed this already, anger is triggered by our amygdala. You know, that part of our brain responsible for our fight, flight or freeze response. That’s why anger can often feel so out of control.
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Опубликовано:

29 дек 2019

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Комментарии : 584

@Katimorton 4 года назад

Did you watch the end of the video?

@wooosh8712 4 года назад

only the end

@jackie8640 4 года назад

Yes

@vanessaweitzmann7239 4 года назад

I always watch the whole video

@SusieQ78 4 года назад

Oh yea...I love blacklight. I do a lot of blacklight stuff in kids/ youth min :)

@thomascoleman298 4 года назад

Yes. Thanks for talking about these issues in the we, us, our vs you. Inclusive, team approach to problem solving. Anger mgt 101. Journal, talk about it, write it down, prayer meditation.

@sherylw4599 4 года назад

I was "taught" as a child not to express my own anger, or punishment would follow. I'm only now learning how to even recognize that what I feel is anger. it's never too late to learn and benefit from therapy!

@darlvader1652 3 года назад

If you fell angry just let your anger talks and never hold it You could express anger in front of your parents and tell them what they have done to you And trust me you will know what anger is

@loribothwell5493 3 года назад

I got spankings when I was angry and shamed. It's coming to the surface now.

@paulinejulien9191 3 года назад

same

@osse1n 4 года назад

Nothing wrong with any emotion, it's how we choose to act or react upon them that makes a huge difference.

@Katimorton 4 года назад

Exactly :)

@ernestoberger7589 4 года назад

Yeah, I've read that bumper sticker as well.

@SPLIFBEATZ 4 года назад

give him an award or nobel pice price

@RonLarhz 4 года назад

Should therapist make u feel you shouldnt express anger(in their presence/at them)?

@ethanpoole3443 4 года назад

I’m going to disagree with respect to hate and envy. We would be much better off without those two emotions in my experience, but hate especially. I have never seen anything good come from hate as it exists to demean and destroy others (and self when turned within, which is precisely what happens to those of us who were victims of others’ hate as children) and envy, when combined with ego, serves too often to be the inspiration for hate towards those perceived as somehow “different”. While I may struggle with hate for myself because of the abuse I endured throughout adolescence, I will never hate any other living being.

@pvdm709 4 года назад

I love how you say “because I am a therapist, I know when I screw up”. That is so true

@jessicajohnston5693 Год назад

For someone who is studying to become a therapist, this is good to know 😅

@tomatobastardo2637 4 года назад

I just feel like there's no justice. People wrong me and get away with it. I can't let it go. I'm always thinking about it. I'm always angry.

@ethanpoole3443 4 года назад

At some point you have to let the anger go or it will ultimately consume you. Either find an acceptable outlet for the anger or learn to forgive those that wronged you, not because they deserve such, as they seldom do, but because YOU deserve that peace. There will never be real justice in this life and that is one of the most difficult truths to accept if you believe in right and wrong, but this is the only world we have and the only life we will ever get to live. You may also wish to consider being evaluated for PTSD or Complex PTSD if there has been significant trauma in your past, as I’m guessing there has been, as there do exist good trauma-aware therapists today who are compassionate and can help with treating such today (unlike 30 years ago when those of us with childhood trauma were turned away and told to simply “get over it” and left to our own devices, there thankfully are good options for help today). But I do understand how you feel as I, too, had to find a way to let go of that anger in my mid-20s before it consumed me as I had bottled up so much rage and anger as a teen from the years of abuse I had endured multiple times daily as a consequence of others’ hate. While I found it within myself to forgive my abusers decades ago, it is only in this past year that I was finally able to get help for the Complex PTSD that has largely run my life for the past 36 (of my 48) years as there was no treatment available whatsoever 30 years ago and the psychiatrists I saw back then only further abused my trust...keeping me from returning to therapy for another three decades. But, thankfully, there are compassionate trauma-aware therapists out there today that can help us. It is OK to seek help!

@jessie6600 4 года назад

This is kinda harsh but I feel like people who wrong other people don't actually know how to love so they'll keep sabotaging their own relationships. So even if they end up with a "family", that family will be brought up with hate for the wrong-doer. Like when kids hate their parents, sometimes it's because the parents are very difficult people to love. So even if people wrong you, they will be plagued with anxiety/depression/anger until they stop wronging people, because only when they figure out how to stop wronging people will they have truly understood how to love. Consolation prize!

@noname-of2yl 4 года назад

This is exactly my life. I cant move on bc there is no justice, people have abused me and abandoned me without any repercussions while I’m left traumatized and suffering. It’s not ok

@annevnht9303 4 года назад

I FEEL YA

@griffin1837 3 года назад

sameee

@jahinoel1365 4 года назад

This made me realize something so important. I’m angry all the time bc I can’t admit that I’m hurt and people did that to me. I was made out to seem like an angry person with issues but I’m a hurt person that, at the time, wasn’t able to admit that I was hurt/wronged.

@gnarthdarkanen7464 3 года назад

Anger is a "self preservation" emotion first, worst, and foremost. 9/10 times, someone gets angry because they feel their sense of self is being violated. It's just worth acknowledging that there's a difference between "sticking up for yourself" and "bullying". ;o)

@KS-ne5mq 4 года назад

I’m always angry because my whole life everyone else’s decisions affect my life in the worst ways.

@flodarry9351 3 года назад

you sound like a victim

@johndawn4612 3 года назад

Yeah this is a classic victim mentality which usually goes along with blame which isnt generally helpful

@ila84leejoon 2 года назад

@C MNB I agree with u. I used to so obediently follow other people decision in the past. As a result, I became a person who is undecided and doesn't know my own worth and interest in life. Right now, I job hopping after graduated 2 years ago. Still looking for what I love to do but hopefully will get there soon. I would say believe in yourself and don't afraid to try.

@lisasnoozy3749 4 года назад

I wasn’t allowed to have feelings growing up and I’m learning to feel now. Anger is one I don’t know what to do with yet. I genuinely feel angry when I’m hurting. I’m learning to journal and paint my feelings too. Thank you for your videos Kati!

@janinewhite5438 4 года назад

I'm exactly the same. It's such a new thing to me 'feeling', it can be overwhelming

@lisasnoozy3749 4 года назад

Janine White same

@marynaswanepoel8364 4 года назад

Right! This year is the first time I'm actually allowed to be angry and now I get angry all the time and I dknt like it😅

@mementomori5374 3 года назад

Exactly the same when i had exteme fever i had to go to school or work emotions were for the weak

@R9oxy1 4 года назад

I never thought about anger being a cover for another emotion. It made me realize that I’ve been feeling rejected for a while and didn’t want to admit that to myself. Thank you so much Kati your videos are amazing!❤️

@AngelGarcia-jf1zq 4 года назад

When I’m angry it’s because my own family tries to hurt me when I have nothing to do with their problems.

@mementomori5374 3 года назад

Thats so hateful

@johndawn4612 3 года назад

This is a victim mentality

@madhavikamble7264 4 года назад

So introspective.. I definitely need to find my primary emotion.. I also agreed with you that anger helps us in setting boundaries.. Thank you for the video

@Katimorton 4 года назад

Of course!! I am so glad you found it helpful :) xoxo

@fredericmoresmau4303 4 года назад

I'm not angry I'm sad

@jennifermorales2753 4 года назад

the problem with me is, sometimes, anger feels good or I thrive off of it. Like I dont want to stop shouting or cursing. When I stop I feel terrible after ward and then guilty

@klaudijamasandukaite9409 4 года назад

O M G I so needed this right now!!

@Katimorton 4 года назад

I hope it helps!! xoxo

@Tensolin01 4 года назад

I would say anger has its place. But it’s not good to rely on it.

@Katimorton 4 года назад

I agree... we all have anger and it's necessary in life, but we shouldn't let it run the show. xoxo

@darlvader1652 3 года назад

Anger is the way for me

@kiawe12 2 года назад

As an artist and psych student here. Just wanted to say how much I love this special format using art as therapy. It definitely helps me. Thank you both for a great and insightful video.

@pinatajuju4471 2 года назад

For me anger is something I never bothered to learn about until now because it's destroying my relationship. Thank you for sharing.

@storytellerhut3488 4 года назад

I love that you talk about yourself and your own struggles and even your own therapy. That’s so honest and gutsy! It makes me trust you even more.

@moell682 4 года назад

This is why it's so important to reflect on how we're feeling, and to label it, and to understand why. I loved this video! The part where you talked about anger being important because it helps us to realise when our boundaries are being crossed resonated with me. I had a trauma where I felt my boundaries were completely crossed and it made me feel unsafe, so for years after that whenever someone crossed a boundary I would explode with anger because it was the only way I knew how to make myself feel safe. In the long run it led to me feeling more shameful for how I reacted, and alienated people who I had mutual love and care for. I'm now learning more healthy ways of expressing my anger, this was a really helpful topic and I'm glad you covered it and explained it so well.

@soyyo4154 4 года назад

"I AM!!!! NOT!!!! ANGRY!!!!!"

@markedwardspezenosky5814 4 года назад

Lmao

@mattidriftking3097 2 месяца назад

I have been bullied for years too i have put my anger on my people and my family.😠 because i was tired of the way they treat me when i was 18 i stood up for myself and i was triple angry i said the right word and one word i remember was (and honesly when i turn 21 i dont know that i ever want to see you anymore) i said to mom.😢and she cried. She deserved it. But i love her even when im angry sometimes but everything is back to normal again👍 so everyone remember even when you are different and other treat you like this be strong.when you are alive. Its easy too be angry when you grow up and you can stand up for your self or fight if neccesary

@anthonymicele8897 4 года назад

I miss the moments of happiness that I used to have.

@SandeepSinghCreator 4 года назад

You mean deep triggering rage as a result of CPTSD from narcissistic abuse. I like to talk about my anger. It drives me into right direction. I can't tolerate Sociopaths ruling around. And trauma bond. Thanks Katie for this video. To be seen or heard is utmost valuable. Love painting!!! It's beautiful and expressive! I love to express my anger emotions.❤️ Graffiti 😊

@Micheline.Maalouf 4 года назад

This is a really cool concept Kati! this is an important topic to talk about. Many people are ashamed of their anger and really it's a healthy emotion too. It serves a purpose and thank you for covering this.

@iris__and_rhizomes 4 года назад

Kati, your videos are such gifts. Thank you. This video comes at a particularly opportune time - I’m really struggling with a lot of anger. It’s big anger, as you called it. I totally agree that suppressing anger increases distance between you and your true self. I’m just beginning to understand this. That’s why this video is so helpful. I’d never thought about the relationship between suppressing anger and setting boundaries, but I totally see that now. I had never understood why it was impossible to stand up for myself. But by pretending I wasn’t angry, I was denying myself access to the truth. How can I tell others my truth when I myself am not aware of it? Kati, you’re awesome. I need to send you a letter. So much has been happening in my life! I think I’m finally on the road to healing.

@KisDraga 4 года назад

I needed this. I've been feeling really angry for a while now. Not having a sense of self during it ... was interesting and validating to hear. There's definitely a lot of layers going on with the feelz.

@julieadams930 2 года назад

THE END WAS WONDERFUL. YOU ARE WONDERFUL. YOU SURE TALKED ABOUT SOME THINGS WERE JUST MEANT FOR ME. I HOPE I CAN WORK ON THEM. TY KATI

@angelobertolani7161 4 года назад

You are amazing Kati , the way you explain things and express yourself . You truly have a gift, and I would love to have you as a therapist. Can only wish .

@admirbarucija2018 4 года назад

I hope you have a happy new year Kati, thank you as usual for your amazing channel!! ❤️ I believe anger can be used productively, it doesn’t necessarily have to be bad.

@mariajoselosanavalencia6762 4 года назад

The painting is amazing!! I love it!! Plus the video is great, like always. I hate anger and honestly you gave me a lot to think about. Thanks Kati!!

@BluePenguin835 4 года назад

Thanks for your honesty in this video, Kati. I have a feeling that this video will be one that I will watch over and over again. 🙂

@goofball2228 Год назад

I’ve been angry and enraged since I was 12. After years of rejection from peers, and bullying, getting in trouble for unfair reasons, as well as having a dad with serious anger issues, I became an angry person. I’m 15 now, and lots of stuff has happened that has made me even angrier than before. I’ve been labeled as a “rebellious and moody teen” the truth is, I hate the world and everything in it.

@toooldtobejunior 4 года назад

Thanks a lot. Watching your video, I remembered that I was experimenting with my emotions about ten years ago. I had twelve cards with emotions names on them (both "positive" and "negative"). When I had a minute, I was randomly picking a card and tried to feel that emotion. It helped me to recognize my emotions latter. I think it is what I need to do again now as I want to get more emotions aware. P.S. Nice glowing picture.

@jackie8640 4 года назад

Anger is super hard for me because it's the only "negative" emotion I'm really comfortable sharing. Everything kind of presents itself as anger. I think it's so interesting that some people can see anger as dirty and scaring while other see it as the only thing that's safe.

@alyb6162 4 года назад

This video is the bomb!!!! Thank you!!! I was worried about letting someone know how i felt and now I feel like it was definitely the right thing! I wasn’t mean I just stood my ground and I’m proud of myself 🙂

@satunbreeze 4 года назад

At first I hated the painting she was making but then I realized that thats exactly how my anger feels to me, and now I really appreciate it. Its ugly, but thats just how anger is. Loved the end product though, and how it looked kinda tie-dye

@bryannaweigel9581 3 года назад

Just want to say that I started watching this and realized I needed my journal to process the three parts you mentioned in the beginning. I restarted the video and made three sections so that I could help myself process my anger. One section was asking where I feel anger. The second section asked what set me off and what is the primary emotion my anger is hiding. The last section was for brainstorming new ways to express my emotions. I’m still filling this out but I wanted to say thank you for taking the time to explain anger and help with giving steps to process it. I’m dealing with a very stressful job and it’s affecting lots of areas in my life, not to mention my own negative self talk. This really helped. Thank you!

@sambarta9865 4 года назад

Just found your channel as a third-year Psych student living in Australia! You are a beautiful combination of being kind, light-hearted, insightful, funny and cute (whoops).. Subscribed!!

@_just_TK 4 года назад

sam barta woot woot!!! Welcome to the Community!

@sambarta9865 4 года назад

@@_just_TK thank you!!!

@richiepropster4313 4 года назад

That is the most wonderful way of expressing emotion. I love the layers. I love the different light effects. Just like anger, complex and expressed in haste.

@reallifeanswers9764 4 года назад

Wow!! I'm amazed that this came out during the holidays. I do needed it.

@annaharrison6563 4 года назад

I LOVE the style of this video! I love how it feels calming and inviting, which was unexpected considering what the video is about. But because it was directed this way, you were able to talk about a tough subject that can be very touchy for some people. Good job!

@cassierobertson6157 4 года назад

Thanks for making this video, Kati! Anger is such a difficult and taboo emotion, especially for women. Somehow it seems more socially acceptable for men to be angry and show anger, but not as much for women. I liked how you tied anger to part of one's true self. It can be so hard to acknowledge anger and I can feel embarrassed when I'm angry. I'm also working on accepting my anger too. Thanks for sharing part of your process too. It's encouraging to remember that no one is perfect and we are all in process. Thanks for making these mental health videos accessible! It's been so helpful to me over the years and I know I'm not the only one. Hope you have a Happy New Year!

@gurudra 4 года назад

Anger is like acid that can cause more harm to the vessel in which it is stored, than to anything on which it is poured

@Katimorton 4 года назад

I love that!! yes!! xoxo

@ernestoberger7589 4 года назад

Hahahahhaha

@janinewhite5438 4 года назад

Wow!!!! Really needed to see this 💗

@kerrylarmand6301 4 года назад

Ooooooh...that's a gooder......I like that one...thx bud

@chelseygarrett4221 4 года назад

I've also heard having anger towards someone is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die.

@jackattack7871 4 года назад

Thanks for the video. I’m a public librarian and branch manager which, contrary to librarian stereotypes, means that I’m nice, compassionate and helpful. Had depression in the past and it’s re-emerged in the past year with lots of anger. Unfortunately, my family bears the brunt b/c that anger is tamped down. Your channel has been a source of help & inspiration. Thank you

@silascochran9705 4 года назад

Hi Katie your post just popped up again for no particular reason I am that Homeless veteran but I have a beautiful cabin now it's awesome safe and sound thank you for your videos you have helped tremendously😁🌴🏠🌴

@Livmylifelivi 4 года назад

Thank you for opening up & being vulnerable

@55alive8 4 года назад

Love the painting and the idea behind it. And yes. I do t like anger either at times when people think I am angry. A misinterpretation of my facial expressions.

@moamenmoataz6135 4 года назад

Anger, although scary, is one of the keys to self-awareness. As you said it's a good indicator of what sets us off, what our boundaries are, from that we can get an idea of our ideals, personal values and standards. We don't need to feel bad about it, but we need a suitable way to deal with it. Btw, this collaboration is awesome, do it more often. Actually having a painting for different emotions can be awesome.

@ax10m19 4 года назад

Really needed this video at the moment. I've been angry on and off for weeks. It's been really exhausting. Thank you ☺️

@maddywadsworth4312 4 года назад

Thank you for this video. I’ve been struggling a lot with anger lately. I think when I’m feeling unappreciated. My spouse, parents, brother, boss...I get that feel from them often (even though sometimes I think it’s just me).

@PraveenSrJ01 3 года назад

Thank you so much for the video and I hope all the best for you. You are right anger is much easier to deal with than sadness.

@dianavozian7213 4 года назад

What an awesome episode! Anger is such an understated emotion. Thank for incorporating art as a reflective coping tool.

@kirsty2187 4 года назад

Love this!! Thank you :) Also, love that your 'Wel-come!' is back

@amiejobe7010 4 года назад

I never over actives my anger well not in a way that is insane like how monster but I do my fair bit of shouting and walking away, I learnt how to calm it and it’s an amazing feeling. Keep up the amazing work you doing 🙏🏿❤️

@AleesatheIsraeli 4 года назад

Anger is an expression of injustice you feel. Its normal feeling yes love this....I try to understand why Im feeling this way..My therapist...when I reach Anger its a warning sign to hate...etc. I internalize things alot. Very good vid its a secondary emotion. I meditate slow things down this way Im more able to deal with stuff. Mental health is like a dominoes what you take in can affect you also. Try waking up early seeing your kids wife, husband etc before they do to school can help you throughout the day and but things in perspective.

@cstevens8788 4 года назад

In every video you create something jumps out at me. This time it was "Freeze" which is exactly what I did not realize had happened. I had more important things to concern me than the horrible anger I was feeling so I froze. After I was free to get out my anger I was told how I would only be hurting myself if I let it out. My only option was to forgive. BS. I stuffed it so deeply that I've made myself sick. Now I will work on forgiving myself because if I had not frozen I could have stopped it before it hurt someone I loved dearly. Momma bear here feeling guilty. Thanks, Kati.

@jude999 4 года назад

I needed this. Thank you for your kind approach. What I want to figure out is how to express anger in a healthy way.

@SusieQ78 4 года назад

Thanks Katie! Umm, think im going to watch this one 10 times after I get off work. I push it all down. On a side note...I wish I could find one of these art therapist, and I love blacklight!!

@haileyelizabeth9466 4 года назад

YAY! I've been looking out for this video, so helpful! The painting is FLIPPEN COOL. I totally am the same when I don't feel valued or important. I clench that jaw so hard. haha

@katiecostello5532 4 года назад

Just what I needed! as always, thank you Kati

@diablominero 3 года назад

Anger feels like being more alive than alive, like excitement and the pure joy I get from a few kinds of energy drinks. It feels like pure energy sitting in my body, offering to help with whatever I need, and giving me (seemingly good) advice about what to do. I feel powerful, intelligent, and certain about what the right thing to do next is. But it's also a scary because when I'm calmed down, I often regret doing some of what it told me to do. And also the sense of personal power flips on its head and feels terrible if something prevents me from doing whatever seems to come next.

@deborahalexander9068 4 года назад

I really want to be a therapist so I can help people from hurting themselves and help them control their emotions. Katie has helped me so much to learn a lot more about this stuff. Thank you!!!😁❤

@movieandbookreview2684 2 года назад

As a child, I learned that it's bad to feel "negative" feelings. I learned to supress those feelings. Now, I'm learning to express myself.

@wax9007 4 года назад

Beautiful video, thank you Kati

@CarlyMelvin6 4 года назад

Look forward to these videos every monday ☺️ So helpful and informative, made me feel informed and able to go and seek therapy. Week 2 of therapy tomorrow 😊 Thanks for everything you do, truly inspiring!x

@_just_TK 4 года назад

Carly Lewis yay!

@Ethel007 4 года назад

Thank you for sharing your personal struggles. This video was immensely helpful. I’ve been struggling with anger quite a bit lately. I also really like your shirt and I’d love to know where you got it if you don’t mind sharing! 😊

@edenangelica13 4 года назад

Great Kati! Yes, art in all modalities is a great way to express or sublimate anger (or the underlying emotions)!

@lukasmoodysson4701 4 года назад

I appreciate you so much Kati!

@pmbluemoon 4 года назад

I LOVE how you reference the movie Inside Out, that;s one of my fav movies of all time! I think my anger came from being unappreciated and unloved. I also had a side effect of one of my antidepressants that took away my inhibitions, and some of those consequences was having to go through anger management classes, as well as this computer I watch your videos on, the keyboard only half works because I punched the heck out of it when it updated to windows 10 without my permission lol! the ( and 9 key don't work, also had to replace the hard drive, lost 500 GB data and will need to figure out how to get all that back at some point. RATS!! 😁💪👍🥰 Thank you Kati and Shayla! HAPPY NEW YEAR to you both! 😃 Black lights are my friends, I LOVED the end and how it looked *MARVELOUS*

@caponi14 4 года назад

I have been seeing a psychologist for 3 years, and i was in a rough relationship that should have never have been. I was showing emotional anti-social disconnect because i was so mentally tortured by this woman for many years. Then i got out, and things changed. I was not anti-social and i restored my empathic feelings about things and people. I had been living in darkness for years. It felt great for a while. The relationship ended 1.5 years ago and i have been on quite the rollercoaster ride ever since. This last summer was great, i had lots of energy, lots of ideas, wanting to socialize, find some romantic encounters, i also play music, and i was so inspired by everything around me. But i have come off the high, and now im depressed again, have lost interest in my passion for music, i still play, but everything seems grey to me. I have had depression before, but this time it's different. Im experiencing confusion, irritability, lack of want for sleep, poor memory.... I don't know what is wrong with me, and i have had so many strange emotional episodes, and they are somewhat different every time. I can not imagine how i felt the way i did this last summer, because it's so different now. I don't know which way to look, and im enrolling in therapy again soon. I think i have been misdiagnosed since i showed such different symptoms at the time, and much has changed. Do any of you have any idea what might be wrong with me? I have thought of Bipolar disorder, but im not sure. Thank you for anyone who takes the time to answer

@_just_TK 4 года назад

caponi14 it sounds like Bipolar because of the swings between depression & mania but u really need to see a mental health professional. Also talk to ur doctor about going on meds because there are great mood stabilizers that can really help even things out. Good luck!

@caponi14 4 года назад

@@_just_TK Im already daily on 300mg Lamictal, and have had good effect with it for the 3 years i have taken it, but it's like i have build some tolerance, or maybe things have just taken a turn for the worse, i don't know. But i want to thank you for taking the time to answer, i appreciate the support

@spacedorito4335 4 года назад

watching your videos makes me realize how much i need therapy but also.. reaching out is so difficult. every time i think about bringing it up to my parents i get a lump in my throat.. it’s so easy to say there’s no need to feel ashamed about reaching out a hand, but it’s a whole other thing to actually believe and act on it. it feels easier to just be mad at myself about everything even though it isn’t a healthy mindset to harbor. anger is akfjfjxfhf

@bethany-b2pkfilms792 4 года назад

Crying... This helps me so much. Thank you Kati

@NicoleSkyX 4 года назад

I remember when my therapist asked me about anger and I said that I don’t feel that emotion at all. It is so crazy to me that I used to think that anger is something bad. When I accepted that I feel angry sometimes I was able to finally start creating healthy boundaries and it just makes me aware of what is okay with me and what is not. Great video Kati (as always) ❤️ I wish you all the best in new year! 🥳

@jaquelinealmeida9476 4 года назад

Recently I've been dealing with anger in a particular situation and I've realized I have a tendency to grow my anger every time I'd think about it, it could get stronger and stronger. But since I've noticed the emotion behind it, it kinda disappeared? This video helped me understand the process of it. Thanks Kati, your work is really helpful.

@nikkimckay860 4 года назад

Good to see another new video from you Katie you look nice also very helpful video and,very good advice on anger I get angry for loads of reasons sometime s I'm more angry than other days or less angry you are great there are times I try to shut off the fact I'm feeling angry about something or what someone has said or done to me its difficult to control my emotions or moods thank you for the video

@tammijatti9164 4 года назад

Hey love! I have commented a time or two before, and I really want to get started on checking out all of your videos, hopefully in chronological order. I do have diagnosed CPTSD. I haven’t yet viewed this video, but my first thought when I heard the title was this: I am afraid of other peoples anger, and I’m afraid especially now of my own anger. I am safe from the abusers now, I’ve gone no contact with my family of origin in order to stay safe. Those things feel good. I usually don’t have angry people in my life anymore, unless it’s something random in public or something like that. So I rarely encounter other peoples anger. Sometimes when I get angry though, and that’s very seldom, I do everything I can to suppress how I feel. Because it freaks me out! OK, so the next thing for me to do is watch this video carefully. After that, I am going to try and start taking in each video, one after another. I know that the ones that are in sequential order, I will definitely want to view in sequence. But if one of you wants to get in touch with me and let me know how best to view those videos, that would be fantastic. Like… Should I check out the oldest one first, and then then one following it, and then so on and so forth? Maybe I’m overthinking this. Anyway… Thank you very very much for having this channel, because I can already tell it’s going to be a huge part of my support system.

@kerrylarmand6301 4 года назад

I am a relatively "katimorton newbie"...and I have found that since life doesn't follow a pretty pattern or go from one proper step to another....that watching in chronological order isn't necessarily essential to understanding or benefitting from her videos. In my opinion, choose one that may resonate with how you are feeling on any particular day. As well, there are many (kati has over 1000 vids!!) That you may find that dont pertain to your situation....you might feel the need to educate your self....HAPPY WATCHING!!!

@alexisclark9588 4 года назад

Hey, Kati, I noticed you have a lot of videos in regards to relationships, how to tell if they are unhealthy, healthy, and how to maintain them but what about a video on how to repair and mend a relationship, especially after things like addiction issues? I was kicked out of my house for relapsing, I unknowingly hurt my dads through my addiction and broke their trust but how does one move past that in a relationship?

@AdrianColley 4 года назад

This taught me that bottling up your anger should not be confused with putting space between feeling the anger and creating an outward response to it.

@bethany-b2pkfilms792 4 года назад

Oh looking forward to watching this. I've never dealt with anger like I have been lately with this depression. I don't know how to deal with it.

@thinkingmachine354 4 года назад

Bethany - B2pk films if it is anything like mine, just take everything super slow and take extra care without holding back too much (I don’t exactly know how to describe it but if we’re the same you may just understand).

@1noonoo 4 года назад

Thank you for your honesty.

@davidroache8655 4 года назад

A therapist created more anger problems for me due to her approach. She knew when she screwed up; she just made excuses when she found out I was switching to someone else. It is really sad that the mental health profession doesn’t do more to stop such therapists.

@noneofyourbusiness5091 4 года назад

It’s an emotion, it’s not good nor it is bad, it’s just an emotion. Calling it good or bad is a judgement and if you go through DBT you’ll learn emotions aren’t good or bad.

@silascochran9705 4 года назад

Anger can be a fuel a motivator if restrained it is my main motivational Force when I am angry things change I change them😡

@reveranttangent1771 4 года назад

I try to treat my emotions as friends trying to give me advice. They might be right, they might be wrong. What they have to say might be imprtant right now or it might not be important right now, but it's rude to ignore your friends.

@katiebwheeler 4 года назад

I had the issue of not allowing myself to be angry. Even about ongoing abuse, losing my mom to cancer, my dad to a new relationship, so many things. I let my anger out with a knife on my skin (1 year self harm free now though!) Over 2 years into counseling, I can finally let myself feel angry and hurt and let it out in a healthy way....

@_just_TK 4 года назад

Katie Wheeler yay!

@PhillipRajcany 4 года назад

This is such great timing for this talk in my life at present. One thing at 3:30 that you said rings true for me too. I have felt that sense of becomming small, the internal pressure of anger being held in by the overriding fear of expressing it poorly, if at all. I notice that it starts in my chest, and extends up through my throat, neck, and all over my scalp and face (especially between my brows).

@carterlang6072 4 года назад

Omg I have been stuffing down my anger for so long and I haven't realized this until know.

@graemedicks3139 4 года назад

Great video - it all makes sense.Often you hear someone say that [they have allot anger to work through] well this makes sense in that, thir anger is fundamental as both a boundary for self identity and pointing to underlying hurt/pain. Also imagine confronting ones' primary hurt/anguish without any secondary anger to provide inner protection - it would be crushing,almost difficult to function in daily life. Furthermore the secondary anger and it's intensity is a value of sorts, otherwise a persons primary hurt/etc would be almost without validation .

@bullynator 4 года назад

Great creative video! Yeah, I agree, anger needs to validated as an emotion just like any other. Anger is a symptom laying over another emotion that got triggered. To process anger in a healthy way we need to know the “mechanism” that causes our anger. Then we are able to control and overcome it. Facing each of our emotions helps us to grow.

@logansoeder6031 3 года назад

I 100% agree that pressing your anger down creates cognitive dissonance. I was in this myself for a long time and only now am I truly understanding how important it is to express anger and frustration. I’m sad to say that I’m certain most of my family has this dissonance from unexpressed anger and other emotions. It’s so hard to break out of that. I’m not sure they ever will.

@k0chum 6 месяцев назад

i love the reasoning of doing the blue. I do that in my journal a lot. If i am having a particularly negative and angry day, I will do a water color painting over my entry for that day. A way to add beauty to what I view as hatred.

@Just-Fauna 4 года назад

Art is the best way to show your soul. I say "my art is ugly" In reality it's beautiful. It's only a front ya know. It's like a shield, make fun of myself before others can. It's why I'm grateful for your tips Katy. They work 👍 You have no idea how many times I've hid crys for help in art. It's an Easter egg I guess.

@tammythielemann7120 4 года назад

Thank you for this video. Anger has been a difficult emotion for me as well for many reasons. I am learning to be ok with it. What makes it even more difficult to be ok with it is being surrounded by a culture that is very much "be positive" all the time. This feeds into the stuff anger down. It is ugly. No one wants to see it. Quickly cover it up. Which I felt was displayed by the artist in this video. As she said she couldn't leave that ugliness and those negative words. She had to make it pretty and cover most of it up. I think it would of been important to emphasize that adding more to the painting when you have processed and your feelings have evolved. Not painting over because it makes you uncomfortable or afraid for others to see. That, for me, atleast is part of why anger is stuffed down and uncomfortable.

@wootwootwoot32 2 года назад

Calming video needed this today! Thank you :)

@lolagarza8982 4 года назад

Wow is very beautiful how one can interpret anger into an empty canvas and convey so much emotion with words and colors. I will for sure try to doodle when angry in my journal 👍🏻

@clairbear1234 4 года назад

I think you nailed it. I lived with someone who I felt often crossed my boundaries over "little things" like taking things out of my room without asking. The thing is, I would try to talking myself out of feeling angry because I didn't believe it was justified, they were just "little things"after all- but I would be angry for hours. I realized the emotion it was covering up was the fact I felt powerless in those moments and disrespected. I started to use that anger as a flag to alert me to my boundaries and to work on expressing them. I still find it hard at times to recognize my boundaries and/or express them, but I think it all starts with not trying to talk ourselves out of what we feel . By honoring those feelings and trying to understand what they are trying to tell us we start to feel stronger and secure. I realized this DIRECTLY relates to self worth and I can look back on other kinds of relationships and see how I let people take advantage of me because I thought my anger or discomfort were "too selfish" or "bad", rather than questioning that the other person may be, in fact inconsiderate, rude, neglectful etc. I would internally punish myself for having done something to "provoke" these uncomfortable situations. Seriously, if I had to say anything, if you can start to befriend your uncomfortable emotions, you will see that many are there to tell you something important.

@petalisporcelain1346 4 года назад

This was another great video especially since people really don't understand anger a lot of the time. Also I was wondering if you could ever do a video on video game addiction/gaming disorder.

@gabriellec7813 4 года назад

I can't stand when people are angry and agressive and I almost never express anger towards others, but more towards myself which is not healthy. My therapist actually suggests I express it more. I def don't have a problem with saying no, at all, but I hate appearing irrational.