Asking Astarion What He Wants in Each Act | Baldur's Gate 3 

Maybe it’s not too direct a parallel, but I love the similarity between his first and last romance scene. Astarion starts by saying Tav wanted to be known and his final scene is him saying he feels seen with Tab. It’s almost like Astarion was projecting a part of himself onto Tav without even realizing it.

It's interesting how Astarion reflects the Maslow's hierarchy of needs pretty well. When he starts out, he's struggling on the first tier: Physiological Needs. In this case, he needs blood. He worries about other stuff, of course, but for the first few days, this is a struggle for him. He needs to drink, and he's scared what will happen to him should his party catch him and find out he's a vampire. He needs to drink, but on the down low. Without asking for help though, he gets slower, weaker (or he says this). Desperate to fulfill this basic need, he tries to drink from the player. Should you help him satisfy this base need, he's able to worry about the next tier, which is Safety. This man hasn't been safe since before he was a vampire. The world is big and scary and he knows there are terrifying people after him. He is regularly scared about what will happen to him, which tends to come across as "I need power to protect myself." The beginning of his romance is manipulating you with sex so he can secure his own safety. Over time though, he realizes he has people at his side who will have his back, and he starts to actually feel safe, secure. In fact, it's only once he feels safe around you that he pushes on to the next tier, Love and Belonging. He begins to open up to you more. If you're romancing him, he admits attempting to manipulate you. Otherwise, it's being willing to talk about his past trauma from a more personal perspective, admitting that he's bad at saying no. Around this time, we also start to see him warming up to other party members. He doesn't like seeing his friends getting screwed over by circumstance. From there, we get the next tier, Esteem. There's a change in language when Astarion talks about Cazador. He's still afraid of him and wants to secure his safety, yes, but now there's a note of "I deserve better." There's debate over whether or not Ascension is the right way of going about this, but in his mind at this point in time, he wants all the power, prestige, and mastery. You can show him though that the way to having respect from others isn't necessarily from becoming a Vampire Ascendant, but instead by being a better person. If you Ascend him, he will always be on this rung, trying to prove how big and powerful he is now. Finally, we reach Self Actualization at the top, but only if you kept him a spawn. In his case, it takes the form of reclaiming intimacy for himself and pursuing other ways of walking in the sun again.

It's really interesting to see all the changes in his speech, body language and demeanor too. In the first act he is so confident, suave, smooth...doing something he has done for centuries never faltering. Nothing you say or do surprises him. He takes you into his web of charm. Pleasure, passion and ecstacy is all that matters. Then he falls for you in act 2 and is a complete mess. His dialogue is full of awkward pauses, his words are no longer fancy and his voice becomes staggered...he is scared and doesn't know what's coming or what the relationship is if there is no "passion". He has never known a healthy relationship so he continues to be afraid, uncertain. By Act 3 your love story is complete. He is confident again but no longer seductive. He knows how much he means to you and he wants to tell you, you mean everything to him too which is why he takes you to his old grave - which he himself never visited. He still doesn't know what lies in his future but he is sure that his future is with you. That certainty gives him strength and you can see that.

I feel like Astarion is one of those characters who, depending on how he is interpreted, tells the player a lot about the player's own mindset.

I never notice how surprised he was on the first part until now.

To answer to your vid description: You definitely cannot ask Ascended Astarion “what do you want?” question at all. He’s regressed back to act 1, framing his questions as assumptions again - “that’s what *you wanted to hear* , isn’t it?” and he’s again in his performance mode with the overly seductive honeyed words. The whole story arc is about him either facing his fears or succumbing to them, and what he really needed vs what he thought he needed.

I took the time to read your summary of what he wants in the comments and I think they're spot on! And honestly, while it does make me sad that he's fully aware he's the "hot vampire fantasy" as you so eloquently put it, it shows his character growth. He's willing to perform that fantasy for you at the beginning because he's desperate, sentient blood is good for him, and you can (hopefully) protect him. For you, he'll become whatever you want, and he's aware that you want the hot vampire fantasy. But when you meet Araj Oblodra in Act 2 and she wants that hot vampire fantasy, he's comfortable enough to say "I don't want to do this." He's done with being the fantasy. He's safe enough with you to realize that he doesn't have to throw himself into that hole again. Also, apparently if you play as Astarion, you can talk to the wood elf in Sharess's Caress and she'll ask what you desire above all else. Every origin character including Durge has a unique answer. Astarion's, fittingly enough, is "I want to be safe" (paraphrased).

😭They wrote his character so well, and Neil acted his dialogue so well, it makes me legitimately emotional to see our boy be ok.

Gah I love how Astarions relationship has so much emotional depth. Like, in real life, just like in game, once he's able to trust you, I whole heartedly believe this man would truly worship his partner like a god/goddess, just so happy to finally be with someone who brings him real happiness. And I'd give him endless hugs.

I came for the dialogue and I kept getting distracted by how beautiful your tav is 😢😂😂😂

So here's the thing. In Act 1 astarion is not aware of what he wants in terms of relationships because he doesnt think about that AT ALL. He's too focused on survival to even consider if he wants to have sex with Tav or not for the right reasons. If you have high approval with him and he comes to you offering sex before the tiefling party he offers it "As a reward" for letting him drink blood and Tav has the option to say "you dont need to do it just because you feel you owe me" and he says "its more of an excuse if anything." even if Tav offered him a night of talking and cuddles he will still insist that he wants to have sex. What he wants is the reward of sex(safety) but those two things of tied together in his mind because they always HAVE been. You can see this very clearly when you play as Karlach. He's legitimately frustrated with her condition because he doesnt know how else to manipulate someone like her but also feels relieved that she cant have sex and just wants to talk but he is so confused by this feeling of relief that he blames it on her being "not normal" and broken. In the Dev notes it states that he blames Karlach for his feelings of confusion. By all logic he SHOULD want to have sex with her because shes so hot (no pun intended), so why is he relieved that he cant? He cant wrap his head around this feeling so he lashes out at her. In act 2 when given the safety he craves he starts to put his foot down and (in the platonic version of the araj oblodra scene) and becomes more aware of his own desires. He doesnt know it yet but he already feels safe(whether he's dating Tav or not) going against the desires of Araj and potentially angering Tav. Later on, He even admits to Platonic Tav that its "unlike him" to be so precious about it and is genuinely confused and conflicted about turning down the potion. He feels like a spoiled brat for turning it down. So now in act 2 he's trying to wrap his head around the idea of having desires not related to surviving. Which is GOOD because hes never been in a position of such privilege and safety to be able to say 'no' just because. Normally he would just do it without considering his own desires which is what he does in Act 1. While he is attracted to Tav that doesn't mean he wanted to have sex. He might've found that he did want to have sex with them but at the time his own needs weren't even on his radar. Given the attraction, their relationship actually had the potential to start on a genuine foot but he kind of ruined that by not considering his own feelings and treating Tav as a means to an end instead of real person he was courting. And now that all of these feelings about his own desires are coming up he's realizing that he does genuinely want Tav, not for survival but for genuine connection but its more complicated than just wanting someone. In act 3 he is reluctant to put a label on their relationship because he wants to get all of his other goals(killing cazador/ the ritual) out of the way before he makes promises to Tav that he cant keep. All he knows is that Tav is no longer a victim but doesn't know exactly what they are to him. He is enjoying himself being with someone for the first time ever and that's what matters right now. What he wants(safety) and cazador(the person endangering him) have been so intertwined for so long he cant disentangle them just yet. If you kill cazador without him he says that there is a blank space where Cazador should be. He built all of his wants and needs around Cazador whether it was to serve him or kill him, and now he's gone. After cazador's death If you ask him if hes going to give up on walking in the sun he tells you he just needs time to reassess what he wants and then a few hours later at the graveyard he can see more clearly and hes not sure about anything yet other than the fact that whatever it is, he wants to do it with Tav. its not a choice that he's making based on NEEDS but rather based on WANTS, what he's been denied for 200 years.

It really annoys me that this character is being so gatekept lately, I mostly see it on TikTok so it seems safe enough else where so far- but people get SO pressed and mad now if you choose to romance him because "That's clearly not what he wants/needs" "you're ignoring his trauma and abuse!" "You're sexualizing him!" Astarion LITERALLY tells you he wants you, he just needs time to get to that point. Quite frankly, I believe he starts falling for Tav in Act 1 after the first night together, he just doesn't know what those feelings are and is confused, hence the confession in Act 2 and the hesitance/confusion. I don't understand how someone can complete his full romance/story arch and STILL say "Astarion is Ace coded, he doesn't want you like that. You're forcing him to be with with." Dude genuinely fell in love with Tav but didn't know how to handle those feelings at first. Honestly, the fandoms really ruin things and this game is starting to be soured by the vocal, annoying idiots who think their pointless opinions rule above everyone else.

WTH WITH 2:34!!!! IM CRYING!!! I was so absort on the moment, then a cracking sound just appears from nowhere when Tavs looks down, like her neck was the thing that cracked OMG.... roflmao xD

Gah - I wish you could both ask him what he wants *and* hug him in the Act 2 scene. I have such a hard time not picking the hug because I feel as though he needs one, but I think asking him what he wants is sort of better for him, in a way. Thanks for showing us this arc in one collection!

I'm not crying you're crying 😭

Act 1: What do any of us want? Pleasure. Act 2: I don't know what i want... Act 3: You. I want... you! Goddamnit i love Neil, he did an amazing job TvT

I haven't played the game yet but lmao I did so much research on what to do to have that good ending with him, I think I know everything now...guilty as charged XD

God the way I would do anything for this man

That was a beautiful arc - thank you for that!

Eeeeekkk!!! I love this so much! I need to get my hard drive cleared off so I can play again!!! I miss my mans!! 😢❤

I love it! God, the writing is so satisfying

The music hit RIGHT ON CUE after you asked him what he wanted! *CHEF'S KISS* 🤌🏻

Beautiful Tav ❤ And wow, I actually cried watching this. I love Astarion’s chara development so much. It makes me feel so happy!

Upvoting entirely because you were thoughtful enough to include your mod list because you know people are going to ask!

such a good video idea!! ty for uploading

Thank you for this video! 😀🌺

Astarion was right on the money. Your Tav is so pretty ❤

Very cute, and a gorgeous Tav too!

I love your tav!!

Astarion is the charakter they catch me the most of all Video Game charakters before. His vioce, story, transformation and personality are insane. I wish that he where a real person

That change of look at 0:50 dammmmmmmmmmmmn

I did not see myself losing my shit today watching this vid but I am not mad at all

God he is such a rizzler

Милашка Астарион,он столько мучился, хочет любви и ласки, люблю его😍🥺😘

And ascended Astarion ask you, how you want it 😢

I am so conflicted now between ascending him or not , like this is so sweet. But Tav will eventually die on him

This makes me wonder if you can romance him without the sex part in act 1. Because knowing what I know from having played through his romance, idk if I'll be able to go through with this choice again. Knowing that he only does it because he falls into habits Cazador forced onto him, and that whenever he does it, he disassociates and feels disgust 😢. Edit: Also, the "I've been dead in the ground for long enough. It's time to try living again." 😭 The fact that his song (the one that plays in the graveyard scene here, but can also be heard on a number of different occasions, at least in the camp) is titled "I Want to Live" 😭 Edit, to answer my own question a month later: you can't romance him without the sex part first. I guess it can be justified by him viewing it as "you're not interested in him" so he doesn't start falling for your character or something, idk.

Ooooo she got the Orin hair 😮🫦

Watching this makes me so devasted that im planning on ascending astarion this run.

I don't even know if this is my type of game or not (I love fantasy worlds but I don't know if I'll like the gameplay) but I know someday I'll buy it for Astarion😅❤️

Mm that time when tav's neck craked when astarion tried to hold hands

Omg your Tav is so pretty! Do you use mod for her face?

First of all thank u second how do u get his dialogue in act 2? I’ve been trying and still can’t figure it out is it based on approval?

I cant figure out how to trigger the "you're incredible" line - is it still there? Can someone help please?

1:24 ;____;

Is that hair style a mod? Because I don’t remember seeing it in the PS5 version

What mod did you use for Tav's hair??

помогите пожалуйста!!как попасть к этому моменту????

So, I’m not so much of a feminist that I disagree with a one-night-stand because damnnnn. But he toxic. Hit and quit. Smash, then immediately pass.

Mm that time when tav's neck craked when astarion tried to hold hands