The first woman summed it up perfectly. A simp is a man (or woman) who is willing to please a certain person even at the expense of their own dignity and respect, and we see it everyday especially on social media. Telling a woman you find her attractive is not simping, but constantly telling her that is indeed simping, as well as going out of your way to please her even when she doesn't reciprocate it.
You're right about that. Simping often involves one's feelings for another not being returned back towards them. Many TV series and films have shown characters simping for other characters.
@@bobbyc1701Being a simp is the definition of humiliating yourself. It’s doing kind things for people who don’t appreciate it. How is that a bad thing?
@@byrdmaniacsg2776 So doing kind gestures towards anyone makes you a simp? I dont think that is humiliating yourself. If I do something kind for someone I dont really expect anything in return but I dont feel humiliated if they dont return the favor.
As reserved as I am, I hate to admit that I was a simp for a coworker of mine from my last job. She liked it enough to keep me simping but never gave me a chance. I learned a lot from that girl. Never again will I simp for another woman.
We may as well be twins. I had the exact same experience as you. I was a simp for many years, and to tell you the truth I think I probably still am even now. Like you, I used to simp for a coworker for almost a year and she took full advantage of it and milked it to its fullest. I don't know how bad it got for you, but it got bad for me, or rather say I made it very bad for myself. To the point where even when she really treated me like s&%t and it was so clear as daylight to everyone and even to me that she didn't really care about me I was still willing to do pretty much anything for her. Anyway, I eventually reached a point where I got fed up and ignored her and guss what, she started playing the victim and painting me as the bad guy and claiming I'm treating her bad. Anyway, she had basically pushed me to my limit to the extent that I didn't even care what she said or did. I ultimately blocked her on all the social media platforms I had her on and we haven't spoken to each other since, which was about a year and d half ago. And I feel so much better for it. As in your case, that experience was a hard but much needed life lesson for me. I've never simped for a woman again since, but then again that's because I haven't been with a woman or been interested in one since. Hence I said earlier that I think I might probably still be a simp even now.
@@tsepheletseka5115 I can relate to what you posted also. I didn't go through your experience to your extreme, but I am starting to try to relate in a more red pill fashion. Something I have done in a fundamental way a long time ago. I am scared I will start being a simp again after a while. We shall see. I know I am much better equipped to control that if I start to slip. The main key seems to be, we MUST be able to just walk away from bullshit, at any time. And stay away. Good luck.
"They make it seem like it's bad" - it is bad. Really bad. There are legions of women right now who take advantage of men simping/being overly nice and they just use them for free shit and food. It's pathetic. On both sides.
I hear ya! Fellas, if you want a woman to Chase you - never give her the Validation that she’s looking for! That’s your Power over her - Never hand your Power over to anybody - it’s yours to Keep! The minute you do, it’s basically Over! Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
@@carlosverde-datingtips7001 Nooo.... my statement was basically related to women you don't know/aren't already in a relationship. Or if you're in a "relationship" where she's just using you for material goods. Things change if you're actually in a real relationship - one where you're physically intimate and emotionally attached to one another. Perhaps I should have clarified.
@@CataclysmDM I know, relationship has phases, you act accordingly depending on where you are with that person… I was just referring to the beginning stages of the relationship - but I get what you’re saying. Cheers.
It sure is sad for most that the only eye contact label ever get is when a girl asks them to do something for them while she might not give him eye contact when she thanks him. I am thankful for my masculine frame and my masculine presence, as well as my people skills&humor because I would hate to be in their shoes at this point in time
people admit they do it ,it cant be much maybe a bad habit. The simps Ive known were very big problems and need court orders to leave girls alone with their begging
My heart goes out to anyone who wanted to go above and beyond for another person who wasn’t willing to reciprocate and instead of being honest from the beginning, they exploited you. As a woman who has been exploited by a man, I hate hearing the term “simp” used to describe a man who is trying to show up for a woman. If you are a man who has been exploited by women, you’re not going to fix it by not investing in a relationship. It’s a matter of finding someone who is willing to reciprocate the effort in a way that is mutually beneficial and practical.
@@jurassicthunderI hope you also blame yourself for any time you’ve been mistreated? What a jaded and concrete perspective. Good luck finding joy with another ….
Best advice for men, dont validate women. Speak to them as if you were speaking to a friend youve had for years. And last, never waste time, if she doesnt like you walk away. No emotions no hard feelings there will always be an endless supply.
When me and my wife first started dating, she was young, only dated 1 guy before me, but she was mean, I would tell her, "You better get off that pedestal some one put you on" because that shit isn't going to fly with me. We've been married for 9 years.
nipping the problem in the bud once and for all like a self-respectful man. This goes to show your woman and the people around you your masculine frame and strength!
you have to let them know boundaries....and always be willing to walk away...if your girl knows you will walk out if she goes against the values you brought into the relationship then she herself has changed ...and for a reason ...time to walk away.
I was dealing with a counselour over this topic a little while back and I still have relapses... They made a great point: “simping” is about a mismatch in energy, a dance. If they are not matching your energy and you are trying to MAKE them.. or sell yourself to them- your simping.
It's all about the recepricocity! Whenever the balance in desire is drastically out of balance, you will get "simp" vibes. Generally speaking, Stella nailed it. Seems to me, she gets it!
The problem with alot of these discussions is not that they didnt like the simps, the problem is that they used the simps and have zero remorse or acknowledgement that it was immoral
I think there is a difference between being a simp and being a romantic. Modern definitions make being romantic seem equal to simping. Romantics care about their partners and will make sure they feel good by letting them know they love them, either by small gestures or communicating that verbally or nonverbally while simps have a perverted view and put women on a pedestal, like paying for pictures or hoping for acknowledgement like a puppy. Simping is a treating the woman like an object, not a person.
Simps honestly fog up the dating atmosphere for us gentlemen. Society constantly has to reevaluate the difference between doing someone a favor and simping. Alongside that, women become desensitized to getting easy gratification since simps offer it on a platter along with their dignity. It's a huge mess.
I had a friend in college who would've been the textbook version of a simp. It was because of the way he was raised. He had a very toxic mother who demanded him to do everything she told him to do in exchange for her affection. And because she sheltered him from world, outside of school, that was how he thought women were to be treated. Fortunately, about a year after he got to college, he met a girl who showed him there are other, healthier, ways to treat women. She was very loving and patient with him in his growth and development, the best thing that ever happened to him. Twenty some odd years later, they're still together, married, three kids, and a moderately successful careers. He got lucky to find such a keeper...
@@levi8781, true. Now that I'm remembering more of it, I think that part of the success of their relationship was she had a strong and nontoxic LDS (Latter Day Saints/Mormon) religious background based in compassion and love. Plus, I think they were each others' firsts...
In all seriousness, many of us get raised to pay for a woman’s dinner when you’re on a date, now the idea of it is being a “simp” I hate society, I swear.
I’ve definitely been a simp, but because I was raised by a very narcissistic mother who gave affection only in exchange for favors. I still struggled with it, but it’s a result from the dynamics I was raised with.
A simp a guy that does not respect himself and does not have options to the point that he will serve a woman's needs even though the only attention he will get as they please and thank you. He turns his entire wardrobe into red carpet and ends up alone every single night
@Laura UK Getting messages from 60+ year olds isn't really what I was going for here. I'm not in the camp of finding menopause and crow's feet attractive, but YMMV.
By far your best video to date. This was very refreshing and nice to get other people's input on the situation that most men, including myself, often deal with. Last year, I learned this the hard way by constantly chasing after a girl who wasn't reciprocating back. I had to fall back and work on myself. Which was the best thing I could ever do. Looking back one thing that I learned is that you have to heal yourself before you can give yourself, and two established some boundaries.
Basically following is the truth. “The better you treat the girl, the worse she will think of you”. In my experience, every girl I treated like shit, was absolutely crazy about the relationship. Absolute fact!
Exactly. The thing is most women say they want to be treated nice but in reality they ALWAYS gravitate towards the guys that treat them bad or don't give em attention. And complain afterwards that there are no good men out there.
@@kirbylover37 yeah ngl... I got dumped two times this weekend... You can act like an asshole but you have to be a 9 or 10 to pull it off. Otherwise you are an asshole to em. Stay strong brother
@@thedarkside3899 truth, I've been with my wife for over 33 years, I loved her more than myself, gave everthing I had, she started pulling away and required me to do more " chores" around the house, I firmly believe she fell into that BS trap that feminist present she was telling me of an episode of some stupid talk show where they brought the man out and asked him if he knew what turned a woman on and they uncovered a vacuum cleaner that was sitting on the stage and I said b******* anyhow we continue to go downhill she kept pulling farther away stopped having sex on and on and on we could go but the bottom line is I started talking to a counselor by myself to try to make sense of things because I had been so good to her I had always done things for her family taking care of her mother Etc my counselor which is a woman told me that I had been too good to her and she had lost respect for me I could not get my brain wrapped around that but I have a better understanding of it now watching informative videos on line but it still just doesn't make sense and it sucks needless to say I filed for divorce.
If a girl likes you then your every move and every compliment is a sign of love. If a girl don't like you then your every move and every compliment is simping.
Yeah but they don't flock. That's the damn point. You focus on yourself, you just get ignored. You have to make deliberate effort to get anything, and that includes a woman's attention.
Good info. There must be reciprocity in a relationship. And like others have said, no relationship is worth it if it costs you your dignity and sense of self worth. Both men and women need to be able recognize when it is time to leave, and be able to. Thanks for the video.
Don't ever take dating advice from any women. They will never empathize with your struggles especially if you're not someone she sees as high value. They live in thier own fantasy world that contradics its self constantly. Stay strong fellas, protect your self and build your self up because no one will
I find it interesting that even in this topic, there is kind of a double standard. If I, a man, were to lead a girl on, by letting her drive me around and give me gifts or whatever, fully realizing she was interested and yet knowing that I had no interest in her, people would say I was an asshole. And rightfully so, I'd say. But when a girl does this to a guy (and yes, I know, the guys are doing it because they want to, no one's forcing them), it seems to be acceptable and the guys who do this are seen in a very bad light
Lots of guys become simps because they try to be who women say they want- Caring, loving, patient men. Then they realise those traits aren't what women value most in a man.
Women do want those things - eventually. They want a good looking, self assured, masculine guy... who gradually shows her his caring, loving, patient side - once she's *earned it*. Starting off with "I'm so caring, loving, patient!" is exactly back to front.
Very Beautiful Women in there early 20’s say they want this but end up being attracted to the complete opposite. As they age and get closer to their 30’s if they haven’t found a partner for the long run. The market ends up becoming more scarce for them and they end up going for these “simps” in that age/time frame. To be honest I don’t really know why this happens but it’s just the way life is. Ultimately if we as men just continue to improve on our life’s. Such as building a foundation in fitness, resources, and just developing our selfs to become a better human being. We have the leverage in the long run.
Simping refers to someone(usually a guy) going out of their way, bending backwards for a someone that isn't reciprocating with the expectation to get something in return. It's obsessive behavior due to the desperation of needing validation and attention. If you do something for someone the first time, and they do it back, or thank you and you don't keep persisting, that's not simping. However, if you obsess over trying to please someone, doing anything for them to get a relationship, sex, or any expected return even of it's irrational or unobtainable, that's simping. It's never a selfless act. Anything in between just kind of depends, but once given a situation it's not difficult to decipher it.
growing up, my parents never taught me anything about relationships..i didn't know I was being a simp until It was too late, I just thought I was being nice because it's who I was raised to be..I had to learn the hard way but that's life
I think many women, including some in this video, mistake a guy just genuinely being nice for simping. I'd agree with the one where the guy drove a long way to give her an air conditioner. But on the other hand, if somebody I knew was sweltering in the heat while I had a window unit sitting around in my basement collecting dust, I'd probably let them come pick it up and use it. But can't women at least acknowledge how messed up it is that she can't appreciate a guy who is "too nice"? Or that she assumes the guy is being nice just to get laid? I know people can't help their feelings, but can't ya at least acknowledge that?
The question always is - what's your motivation? WHY do you want to give a girl an AC unit? If it's because you want her to s*ck your d*ck, then you are being a simp who is leading with "nice guy" game and women find that inherently creepy and rightly so.
Some women (and even some men), think that someone that is too nice could mean that they have a deep ulterior motive or are fake. That’s just my experience, and people who think like that are often toxic or quite negative people, in general.
Yeah man. I always say it isn't WHAT you say, it's HOW you say it (or "do" it"), Women know if you're being desperate most of the time. If it comes from a place of confidence and genuine sincerity, no problemo at all!
The more of Courtney's videos I watch, I begin see just how intuitive she is. I think a girl asking a girl these types of questions on various subjects in the world of dating (attracting the opposite sex) is a brillant move on her part as a subjective agruement for further study on the matter. Afterall I ambeing a male who is to curious to hear what a broad range of women has to say on tbe matter.
"I don't like simps, but I will certainly let them buy me expensive things and then never tell them this wont go anywhere". Men if she doesn't move forward with a relationship or tell you to stop buying her this stuff the run. She is taking advantage of you. Women, stop taking advantage if you don't like them. Let them spend money on a woman that actually wants them.
Loved… I used to be a simp, but once I started to work on myself things changed. I can see every mistake I made. I’m single now but happier than when I was trying making someone else happy. Love your video because shows how wrong I was. If you feel like a simp, just work in yourself and everythig will change by itself.
There is a difference in being a simp and being a good man. You can still be a good person and treat a woman well without being needy or desperate which is part of what a simp is.
I've understood the difference between being a "nice guy" and a "good man" is intentions. The "nice guy," is being inauthentically "nice" for the purpose of extracting "favor(s)" from a woman. While a "good man" is a male who does what he does from a deep place of authenticity and for no other reason than that he genuinely wishes to express/share a deep sense of caring for the other individual. He finds his psychic reward in the form of genuine personal satisfaction at having done something purely for the sake of someone else. Have you never experienced a vicarious "thrill?"
Shitty women or girls brought up in a bad past can have difficulty distinguishing this, and confuse "man who takes what he wants" with being basically abused. And it's really sad too, I think some people are just eventually more comfortable with being used and discarded, and partly why is it's far worse to hurt someone else than be hurt yourself.
A very interesting video. Thank you for posting it. I think your video highlights a huge problem in dating today in America. Men are told not to be toxic, respect women, be nice. Then when they do that the women say "You are just a nice guy, go away". Then people are wondering why marriage rates are crashing and women always chant " there are no good men around".
Great video. Shows how great the divide is in the way men and women see things-totally explains the MGTOW movement. Do a follow up video where you get a male interviewer to ask the same questions to a group of men to compare the thought processes.
A simp is someone who feigns sympathy for women to gain their approval. They always agree with the woman regardless of whether she is right or wrong. We see this behavior everywhere; online on RU-vid and in the workplace.
I've always been a natural "simp" due to believing when in a relationship, the primary goal is to make the other happy. That doesn't mean I don't have my own beliefs, standards and boundaries. Both people must share this goal or one becomes a user of the other.
Don't talk about yourself like this! Being a simp is when you make the other person happy at the expense of your own sense of self or moral compass. You're coming from a genuine place and simps aren't genuine. The word "simp" is so loosely used that people now think that being a good person is being a simp. As long as you're staying true to your standards and boundaries as you say, you're all good.
I think that's a hazard path. Being the main source of a partners happiness. They should be able to make themselves happy on their own. It's a huge burden on yourself to be the main source of someone's happiness.
"People treat you the way you treat yourself"- Confucius I think the whole simp thing stems from people who 1. Have a deficient sense of self-worth 2. Are really really lonely (ie don't have friends or have other simp friends!) 3. Want a partner who's way out of their league Both men and women can and do fall under the simp category but in different ways. This happens with women who go after the so-called "bad boys". The women are often troubled with deeper issues, insecure, lack confidence and mistake narcissistic and manipulative behaviour for passiveness or love. With time, the degree of abuse increases as these men know how to take advantage of women like this. She does everything(and I mean everything) to please him but it's never enough even though he never does anything for her! Even in the end when she gets dumped and the "bad boy" has a new toy to play with, shell only blames herself as she's been conditioned that way. The first thing about dating a narcissist, everything is your fault. Now for men These men haven't really had much dating experience and have very low self-respect but do seem to have a sense of entitlement. Self-respecting women never go for them, not because they are not attractive but instead because nobody likes a pushover. Also, most women seem to sense that he is only after one thing which gets him labelled as creepy. Not to mention when a good woman turns him down respectfully he throws tantrum and starts insulting the woman and her character. The only women who go for men like this are well .... bad women. Who only wants a subservient manservant to follow her orders. The goes the same way as I mentioned earlier about women. So guys don't be a simp. Respect yourself and respect your partner and you'll be happy!
I think #1 is the main factor, though #2 is common. Re #3, I think they'll often simp for women only a bit above them, since they can more realistically think they have a chance.
Re "they'll often simp for women only a bit above them" - I think this often sabotages simps with girls they might have had a chance with, his behaviour convinces *her* she must be out of his league! My gf is pretty awesome - good looking, great personality, gorgeous figure - but I made sure never to get too gushing in the early stages, and absolutely never to imply she was 'above' me. I told her she was way better looking than my previous gfs, but I explained that I had been 'dating down'. >:)
Regarding the entitlement thing, it’s because they do what they’re brought up to do and get frustrated that it doesn’t work. These guys often come from single mother households which is why they have such bad mental health.
A "simp" is a guy that lacks the self awareness to realize that what he justifies as being "a nice guy" is actually being manipulative. If you're treating a woman you aren't in a relationship with better than you treat your best friend or family, you have an agenda. You aren't just "being a nice guy", you want something in return.
“Treat her like a queen and she will swallow another man’s cream” - Cheek Slaying Gospel Remember this quote guys and you shall be set free! We’re literally hearing it from these ladies themselves, give them the bare minimum and they’ll chase you. Remember to always love yourself more and put yourself first and the ladies will worship you for it
I think women who are control freaks love simps. He'll do whatever she wants. She takes advantage of him. She wears the pants in the relationship. My aunt and oldest sister are perfect examples of this.
Yeah but those women don't love the guys that simp for them, they just love the fact that they have slaves they don't have to pay; pay with their body, returned services, nor with currency
The definitive example of the soft man: whatever she says goes, the sort of man that says, "She's the boss", and "Happy wife happy life". Spineless worms that cower at the cold.
Never lower yourself, true. Have your own sh*t going, true. But to some of these people, a simp is practically any kind, generous man. Those people are broken, and are making it impossible for men to simply be gentlemen. There's no fix though, so, yeah - don't do it.
I've realized personally, giving too much attention, and opening up too much too quickly never works out. It's better to appear uninterested than overinvested
I do agree there is a line where it can be totally overboard I always say don't mistake kindness for weakness. I have to say that nothing makes the heart feel better than giving. So i think when a man does things it is showing he has the heart to do so. I believe mostly people are a product of environment so alot of times people who had a rough childhood might lean more towards a simp to get what they didnt get their whole life and then others might be tougher and say i dont need anyone to do anything for me.
Most would say : “ Move on” but I suggest you talk to her. Say something like: “ what makes you think that?” or “ I think you have the wrong perception of being a gentleman “.
I don't think the term "simp" should be used in the context of a relationship. We all know it's meant as a derogatory term, and the reason we all get into relationships in the first place is our inherent need for companionship, affection and love. We have needs and we have expectations. Showing love at every opportunity is a turn off because it loses its meaning eventually and the mystery of uncertainty wanes off, but every relationship has its own circumstances, the charcters involved, their upbringings, personalities, and the dynamics of their interactions are always gonna be different. You don't need to carry all the negative connotations of the word "simp" if you're being a good partner and your love makes the relationship happier for both parties, as long as you're not sacrificing your dignity or self-respect. We cant all be robots and live our lives based on labels the internet comes up with, and have these labels dictate what's right and wrong for us
Interesting to see the differences in how they define simps and how they personally perceive their actions. The first woman (Stella I think her name was) was the most on point though for sure. She was well spoken, concise, and great responses.
I feel like there's a big difference between being romantic and being a simp. Being a simp is self deprecating while being romantic is reciprocated. A simp doesn't get the hint.
SIMPING within a relationship often starts when someone (male or female) starts to suspect the other is losing interest, for whatever reason. Then, desperation sets in, resulting in SIMP behavior.
That was a very good video. I find more information when asking girls what they don't want rather than what they want. It's good that they themselves realise they are kinda disgusted by simping.
GenZ women: "I'm here for attention and validation" Also GenZ women: "I'm totally turned off by men who give me attention and validation" Also GenZ women: "I hate the chase, but I love to be chased" Give me a fucking break.....
Pshh thats easy to get away from. Just do what Tony Montana did and add sprinkles of Joe Pesci Put it like this. Do the ",hey you! Whats your name? What you ignoring me you think youre a super model? Get the fuck out of my face!"
Hi Courrtney. First, yes, keep bringing the girls on. The variety of responses covers all bases. Over the last few months, I have, by some miracle, acquired two new best FRIENDS at work, both female. We clicked automatically. I explained that when somebody is good to me, they win my loyalty so I do alot for them, and vice versa. That is not to say I do their work for them, but we ARE understaffed, and they do for me too. We do text and I told them that in the past, I was a simp with certain female friends that I was over-attached to. For example, with the current ones, I would text them and receive no response for a couple of days, then they'd apologize and explain that they were busy or whatever. (Legitimate.) I explained that it's all good, that we all have our lives, I DO care, but I will not smother them (like I used to previously.) Things are going well and thanks to you I am not repeating many mistakes I have made in the past. Keep up the good work. JM
5:42 is spot on. I used to be like this with my first gf and I wasn't aware of it or couldn't process it entirely. I was younger and immature and starting to feel somewhat independent. At some point I did not want to be like this but I could not control it because I was desperate for attention and affection. She struggled communicating her feelings and I did to so we went on a cycle of me chasing and her closing up. I feel so compatible with 7:30 girl because she's like a type B, highly rational, high openness, somewhat conscientious but not over a 5, higher extraversion, higher agreeableness, low neuroticism.
Fantastic video, courtney! Confirms that taking dating advice from 90% of women is a terrible idea. None of these women seemed to have a clue about what simping actually is and how terrible the interactions between men and women on social media has become
@@notsureyou I've had a look at some international dating sites and apps, and there are a lot of single women on those sites and apps who would be okay with dating someone like myself. I am not on those sites and apps anymore, but I think my point has been proven. Because women in North America have such unbelievable standards when it comes to finding their male partner, many men who would be compatible with those women are having to look elsewhere, like international dating sites and apps.
Curly had the best answers and insight here imo, but it helps to see what multiple women think because it's always going to be different for everyone. I think Simping has multiple levels. You can have a good connection and reciprocity from a woman and still be a simp for her, and she is also a simp for you. The bad version are the guys who give everything to a woman who has zero interest. He basically lives his life to please her, but she couldn't care less if he didn't exist. He changes his interests to be the same as hers even though he doesn't gaf about those things and just wants to become what she likes.
It is so sad that it is like this. I myself has adopted MGTOW now, but I remember that in my past when I was really in love, I have done exactly what one of the women described, like do anything for her if she asked me, and I did that because I wanted to be nice to her, and I wanted her to get a bond to me. And now knowing that this is a feature that actually women despise makes me abit sad. But don't worry, the total amount of "simping" in my 47 year live, is probably close to zero, in total.
my personal opinion as a 24 year old dude is these girls know what a simp is, and the are ok with men simping even though they know they dont have a chance at anything serious with her. What i mean is when they asked the girl if a dude takingout a girl on a shopping spree is being a simp and she said no as long as he enjoys and thats what he wants to do. but no dude that i know if wants to take a girl out on a shopping spree and be treated like a. fan. shes obvously saying she not attracted to you and hes willing to pay for her stuff in order to spend time with her. Thats pure manipulation on that womans part. im currently dating a girl who is 20 and she pays for my food, shes always offering to help. she likes doing whatvr i like to do. she isnt picky and shes always avaliable for me. thats how it should be, it shows mutual interest. if your a dude and have to pay for a girls company shes NOT into you, shes USING you. most dudes like that think paying for her clothes and meals are gonna get him a chance. Like no dude if shes into you, you WILL know very easily. and if shes not you can also tell pretty fast.
OMG I was simp once 😱 I was married for 10 years and got divorced. I didn't know how to get back into dating so apparently I was simping over my first girlfriend after divorce. No wonder it didn't work out. Perhaps lack of respect started to develop for me. 😬 I definitely haven't done that anymore. I guess I was feeling desperation of wanting to feel wanted after a divorce. 🤔
I have never been married, but I hear that's a common reaction after a divorce, it used to be called "Being On A Rebound." Or, "Middle Aged Crazy." Most men in that situation buy red sportscars. 😉
Don't feel bad we've all simped before. It's what was told to us by the media when we were younger. Probably all economics based, "you guys gotta spend money on ladies" type of jazz. We know the truth now lol.
Yep. I did the same thing after my divorce in 2003. I had a co-worker in the office blow a little sunshine my way, and I fell for it hook, line and sinker. I definitely was a simp for her, but luckily for not a real long time. It got tiresome very quickly doing everything I could to make her feel special while she took with zero reciprocation. I gave and she took. Haven't been a simp for a girl since her. Just very grateful that I learned the lesson nearly 20 years ago.
A couple must match each other's energy, one can't continue to contribute if the other is not willing to match it. Equality is key and balance is a must between both. 💘 Don't give more than what is deserved and don't take more than what's necessary.
"necessary" define necessary. Is love necessary? Is sex necessary? Is compromise or respect necessary? Will that come off as demanding? As a natural giver, what should we be taking to keep it from becoming one sided? It sounds like a dumb question but everything is being re-defined you cant assume or expect anything anymore.
The question "why do guys simp?" Can be summed up easily. They think that paying for/giving a girl whatever she wants will speed up the process so they can sleep with her. That's a fact an honest guy would admit to.
Courtney I just love your videos. You’re so professional and non judgmental that I feel comfortable taking your advice. I can’t wait for your next video!
To me simping is just somewhere in between being romantic and harassment. The exact same actions can be interpreted differentIy depending on how attractive they find you. If they find you very attractive, it's considered romantic. If they find you somewhat attractive or average, it's simping. If they find you unattractive, it's harassment. Just imagine if your "simp" looked like Johnny Depp or George Clooney...I'm pretty sure all these women would say he's just romantic lol
I just posted the same thing. It all leads back to what girls say it isn’t about - do they find you attractive or not. Doesn’t matter what the action is. If they think you’re attractive, it’s cute. If not, you’re a simp. If you’re attractive it’s flirting, if not it’s harassment.
What a great lesson for guys. Any gal you have to work for you will never get. She has to decide first that she likes you. Every single one of these women is turned off. Ask them out. Have a plan for the date. From there, if she isn’t chasing you, forget it.
These are the best videos because you hear it directly from their mouths and they seem to be telling the truth. Also seeing not every answer is exactly the same.
I believe simping comes from 2 places specifically for men. First is the vague understanding of what we think women want. This mindset is imposed on us as young boys AKA the Disney fantasy. Second is the lack of confidence and feminizing of men. We tell young boys that competition, aggression, taking charge are all bad things. But what no one tells young men is that those are the treats women love and more importantly those are the traits needed to succeed. Simping stops when boys regain confidence.
competition, aggression, taking charge are directed to world not to her, to her you give her caring, love, simping for woman you love, devotion, adoration etc
Great tips! This is why you have to - become a High Value Man on your Purpose, that way - you become the type of man that women are naturally attracted to because you’re in High Demand! Women are able to sense that immediately, quality women that is! - women that have their lives together. And therefore, you won’t need to chase them, because they’ll be drawn to you - like a magnet! Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
I wish I had a time machine. I would like to see the reaction of these women and weather they change their minds about these video's 30 years from now. Or redo these videos 30 years later in their 50's.
A simp is a man or woman who persues the woman or man and gives him/ her things, does what they want, and without getting anything back in return. Basically a slang term for someone who shows excessive sympathy and attention towards another person, who does not reciprocate the same feelings, in pursuit of affection or a sexual relationship. So someone who does way too much for a person they like, without getting anything back in return. This is called simping.
When I met my (now) wife, I had a full and busy life... I was focused on being a better person. Between school, working full time and playing in a band, I didn't have time to be obsessed with another. Nor was I really even looking to fall for someone because I felt like I couldn't devote the proper amount of time to even BE a decent boyfriend... But she decided that SHE wanted to be part of my life and drew me in by being complimentary, not competitive, to my chosen path. I love her eternally for that reason on top of SO many others. I just got lucky I guess....
@@reducedtoatoms3973 She understood from the beginning that I was my own person with my own goals and aspersions. I in turn, recognized and supported the same in her. Have there been rough patches in the last 35 years (29 of them married) together? Oh HELL yeah... But we took vows to see those through that has sustained us.
I used to do majority of these things thinking it was chivalrous and how to treat a lady. I grew up with a single mom and I wish I would see men treat my mom like this. It’s a shame its considered being a simp in modern dating.
You’ll find that this way of acting only hurts your view. Even though it may be self full filling you must resist the urge and properly distribute your own kindness. Make sure your interest is reciprocated and you’ll do fine. Good luck!
I love it when you do videos with other women. Please do more of these. One, it is nice to gain their perspective. Two, when you do videos with multiple women, it gives me a chance to gauge them and see if they fall within my type. This helps me learn what I want in dating. This is in addition to the value of the topic being presented. Also, Lexi and Deja are very cute in my opinion lol
Another awesome video! I’m simping for you in pink, Courtney!!! 💗 On a serious note about “simping” I believe compliments are acceptable. Like.. “I’ve never seen you in that colour, you look great.” But if I carried on like that in every video about the colour you’re wearing you’d be like “uuugh….” 😒 BLOCK The same applies to guys doing this to women and vice versa! It’s the “too much” side of it that’s off putting.
I think the phrase simp or simping is misused most of the time It derives from men who constantly seek female attention and are very very desperate Yet it's used to describe someone who show's any form of interest in a woman. You can quite happily complement or be generous to someone without being a simp as it's not an act of desperation for approval... I feel like any act of kindness from a man too a woman these days is classed as simping..... For example..... If I buy you a drink it doesn't mean I'm looking for your approval or trying to get in your pants but instead I'm in a good mood however in societies eyes that's not the case. And the scary thing is that most people are suspicious of such actions. As we as a population have learned to become suspicious of random acts of kindness due to many factors... In a nutshell we use simping as a way to describe anyone who's kind towards woman and that definition is completely wrong
Humans generally aren’t selfless without gain. IE. validation, strengthening relationships, etc. When it comes to simping people who give too much ___ will be considered a simp because that ___ isn’t reciprocated. This unequal exchange is the act of simping, with the addition of opposing genders. While inherent altruism is still heavily debated in scientific literature it remains clear that simping is unnecessary in todays society.
@@weakesthopemaxxer9507 I absolutely agree that it's very very rare that we selflessly do something, but it doesn't mean that it isn't a possibility. It does occasionally still happen. I think it's extremely bad for modern day society because now, we will have a full generation of men who are unable to meet the needs of a woman. Actually I think I'd go as far to say it's dangerous for modern society as I can foresee a population crisis coming very soon. Edited for grammatical errors.
around 2018 i started focusing on developing my habits and skills worked on my health physically and mentally and began pursuing a clinical psychology career and now i find that some women simp for me. its nice and all but that's not the type of relationship i would want to bring a child up in. boundaries must be set for both sides and both must work together but not in an overbearing manner in my opinion.
There was a girl I knew in college who I drove around everywhere bc she didn't have a car. The simpy part was that yes I mainly did it bc I thought she was hot and I wanted to hang around her, and I was secretly hoping she'd "see what a great guy i was and date me." The not simp part was that she never expected me to spend any money on her and she would actually buy me lunch a lot of the time.
