It was hard for me to detach from the idea of family. I am their scapegoat, I’ve always felt a feeling and emotion of detachment from the people that I am biologically attached to. Their personalities have shaped from the abusive mom we all share and I never fit into her bottle of negativity. I finally detached myself from the unhealthy family and their levels of toxicity and I am ok. Therapy helps and works! Also drugs are a huge factor too, but denial is one of their love affairs and personal attachments. My sanity, my inner peace is number one & I have learned, self taught myself to set healthy boundaries! Letting go, detaching from things, people, places, situations whatever it is awareness is key and I love me! I choose me! I choose my healing recovery and I am able to revisit memories in a different view now so I can heal and I am healing. But sometimes I have to revisit memories to self discover and grow from, level up and I am truly grateful where I am today. I am focusing on my glowing happiness, it’s a daily pleasure and practice.
I love this podcast. This topic resonates deeply with me. My beautiful infant daughter passed away in 2020. Her sister passed away in 2021. It has been indescribable --so much complex grief-- yet I have clearly learned to distinguish the difference between inevitable sorrow and grief and the complicating suffering that is not necessary. I have become very clear on saying, "that thought doesn't serve me" and not letting it take hold. I planted a rose bush for each of my little girls, and they have become a perfect analogy for me. When I prune them, I will get pricked and scraped by the thorns -- there will be pain. But only if I grasp too tightly will the thorns go deep, making the pain unbearable and the blood pour. I had two beautiful little girls. I will always miss them and always grieve. But, as awful as it might sound (especially when I listen to the unhelpful voices) I see so much exquisite beauty in their lives and deaths. They had so much purpose and they have given me so much growth, depth, compassion, opportunity to work hard toward other purposes. I feel that I have learned to just go with life from moment to moment, knowing that whatever comes is good. I love feeling so much peace and empowerment. I know with a calm certainty and power that there is nothing to fear and that nothing can destroy me or even make me not love being alive and being who I am.
I think poor attachment is root of suffering. Unfortunately with low quality unhealed parents, a child experiences a hungering for love and the child performs a whole host of psychological gymnastics to connect anyways. Love=healthy human development. It's not like the child has a choice. When you grow up, you can chose more fulfilling relationships. Then you no longer suffer
Wondering if we're attributing too much importance to being happy, vs doing what is right. Whatever we are, there will always be someone or many who may dislike us. Then what? Do we keep our view of ourselves as "I do what is right" (for example) or get rid of this view? What would you replace it with? Is it not possible that people are indeed uncomfortable around someone who tells the truth or someone who knows a lot? Thank you kindly for sharing!
This episode has taken me way, way back and I’ve been shedding some tears and seeing some past experiences in a whole new light. Thank you for another heartfelt “conversation” with us, your listeners.
Hi Forrest & Rick. I am appreciating the clarity of teaching around this subject and teasing apart what has been often taught in many Buddhist traditions and how I currently understand the "teachings." I've heard many teachers address these topics over almost 5 decades. My own confirmation bias fits well with what you are offering here. Grateful for your offerings.
Rather than trying to be “enlightened" as if frozen in a state of detachment and equanimity, life is a dance, it's movement between our humanity and our divinity. Our humanity feels, reacts, has preferences, likes and dislikes. The more we accept the okayness of our humanity, the easier the movement to those broader states. They're both beautiful and they both have value. No need to avoid our humanity. We can use it to deepen and expand our layers of compassion, understanding, and love. It allows us to feel and express Love in new and and unique ways. ❤
Listen to this episode on Apple podcast and I couldn’t just get enough of the knowledge shared so I have to come here to listen again! This episode got me into deep reflection and some kind of awakening too! Thanks for a wonderful conversation!!!!!
These guys are brilliant, and within their scope this is an excellent episode. However, they are clearly NOT experts on Buddhism and reappropriating that context for their own purposes as if they understand it is very unfortunate. Please do not hear this episode and think it has given you any understanding of Buddhism.
