Autism and Trouble with Communication and Double Empathy Gap

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Welcome back! Today, we will gain understanding for why autistic individuals often face difficulties in conversation. Join me as we talk about communication through the lens of autism. Through personal insights and experiences, we explore how autistic individuals perceive conversation as a means to convey necessary information or achieve specific outcomes, rather than solely for social connection.
We discuss the phenomenon of scripting, where autistic individuals may rely on predetermined phrases or borrow dialogue from media to navigate social interactions. Additionally, we examine speech patterns and mannerisms unique to autistic communication styles, shedding light on how these differences can sometimes lead to misunderstandings.
Also, we explore the concept of the double empathy gap, highlighting the challenges that arise when neurotypical and autistic individuals interact. By bridging this gap through understanding and acceptance, we aim to foster better communication and social inclusion for autistic individuals.
Here's the article about Double Empathy Gap: www.spectrumnews.org/news/dou....
Please consider subscribing if you enjoy content about adults on the spectrum!

Опубликовано:

23 мар 2024

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Комментарии : 78

@autisticjenny 4 месяца назад

If I could go back and add one thing to this video, if would be that I enjoy conversation if it's a topic Im interested in.😊there is always something I wish I would if thought to add...after a video is already published😅

@brianfoster4434 4 месяца назад

Oh wow! I'm always using lines from movies and TV shows. Most of the time people don't realize that I'm quoting. I find it amusing when that happens.

@lauraburystedmundsyoga8231 4 месяца назад

Me too! When people recognise the quote, it's a good sign we'll get along, usually!!

@AutisticNotAlien 4 месяца назад

Great video, Jenny. I really struggle with the reality that so many people in my life have instantly judged me as different in a negative way. While I find socialising stressful, I do want to get on with others. Being on my own means I'm in control, which is less about being bossy and much, much more about enjoying peace & quiet!

@autisticjenny 4 месяца назад

Yes, it is a lot about control and our environment isn't it? That is true. Peace and quiet. I love a day to myself. That is hard when you are a parent.

@AutisticNotAlien 4 месяца назад

@@autisticjenny I love being on my own and I love being with my family - it's a conundrum!

@alejandro-314 4 месяца назад

Nice video! Yes, at work I feel the same. For me, mostly, it's about to get things done. So, almost every time I talked to a college it's about something that needs to be done. I learned most of social stuff (and English) by watching the American sitcom Friends. It was a special interest of mine in my teenage years. In those years I used to mimic Chandler's behavior, and the way he delivered his punchlines. A consequence of this (I think), is that I feel more confortable in social interactions when the language is English instead of Spanish, if that makes any sense. Regarding facial expression, the most common issue I have is that I have a poker face all the time. When someone share some exciting news with me I need to do a conscious effort to smile, give him/her a bit of eyebrow expression also. I hate receiving and opening presents in front of other people because of this.

@autisticjenny 4 месяца назад

Thank you Alejandro and thank you for commenting your view on this. Friends show....that is interesting. :) Hey...whatever works... Communication is definitely complicated for us on the spectrum.

@cupofteawithpoetry 4 месяца назад

I totally relate to everything you've said here Jenny. I've noticed my capacity for chatting has reduced since I hit the menopause too, which makes sense if it's true that autistic traits do intensify at menopause like they say. Thank you for another great video. Oh and by the way - I love your gorgeous dog ☺

@autisticjenny 4 месяца назад

I went through a early menopause and my doctor wasn't sure why. I was like 40. I'm glad you liked the video. We decided to change his name to Scooby because he looks like a miniture version of Scooby Doo. LOL

@katzenbekloppt_mf 4 месяца назад

My "problem-side" of communication is more the ADHD-part, so overshating, chatting too much, Interrupt people because I can't wait to tell something, etc. This is so shameful! If I am the "real" me, quiet, dissoziating from overwhelming or boring situations, people find me snobby. And I rattert be the distinguished, snobby one then the clumsy loud chatterbox.

@autisticjenny 4 месяца назад

I don't think it's shameful and you can't help it. Hopefully people can understand that.

@katzenbekloppt_mf 4 месяца назад

@@autisticjenny hm..Plan to move to another city and there activly look for other NDs. Maybe I can find understanding friends that way. Let's see.

@autisticjenny 4 месяца назад

@@katzenbekloppt_mf I had to resort to asking my cousin, whom I've known from childhood to be my best friend. And other than that, I contacted people who have known me since high school. It isn't easy. I have lots of "acquaintances", but the struggle is real. I made a video one time about friendships and autism and I said if you can find a hobby group in your area that meets. I didn't follow my own advice yet, maybe one day I'll do that. LOL

@scherzo12222 4 месяца назад

This was such a good video, Jenny. So many things I'd like to comment on. The problem with most NT chit-chat is that we usually give in to the pressure to make phoney-but-expected remarks about things we're not interested in. That takes a toll on us because that's where masking comes in. It makes me avoid most social situations altogether...but for people in the workplace, like you, that's not usually possible. It's one reason why I'm very glad we have an answering machine for our land-line phone, too!

@autisticjenny 4 месяца назад

Yaasss. I like that Gwennie. We have to make phoney-but-expected remarks. That is so true. A lot of unnecessary masking too. I am trying to mask less at work. I have a coworker that is autistic. I am about to be officially part time and I'm excited about that.

@scherzo12222 4 месяца назад

Happy to hear this, Jenny. Hopefully this will give you more time to do the things you love most.@@autisticjenny

@Catlily5 4 месяца назад

I can't understand lots of sarcasm written online. Some people have gotten very angry at me. I have trouble in real life sometimes too. I plaster a smile on my face to socialize and sometimes I have forgotten to take it off for serious subjects as well.😞

@Catlily5 4 месяца назад

A problem that I have is saying rude things by accident. I do it less than I used to but it still happens sometimes.

@autisticjenny 4 месяца назад

I definitely understand Lily....you aren't alone. :)

@Catlily5 4 месяца назад

@@autisticjenny Thanks!

@stephenie44 4 месяца назад

Lovely video. I don’t have more words at the moment, but this was meaningful for me.

@autisticjenny 4 месяца назад

Thank you Stephanie

@scherzo12222 4 месяца назад

About sarcasm...it took me a while to really "get it". Nobody in my family used it when I was growing up, even though it was common on TV and in movies. I didn't often imitate it anyway because I thought it sounded kind of rude and even intending to make whoever it was directed at feel stupid. It can be funny but still doesn't usually come naturally to me. I love humor---it's what gets me through life! Sarcasm isn't my favorite brand of humor, is all.

@cecile-p 4 месяца назад

You're so right to talk about family sense of humor, Gwennie ! There was a lot of sarcastic people around me when I was a child, it might be why it's quite easy and natural to me. I wonder if we all pick the sense of humor we mostly knew as children...

@scherzo12222 4 месяца назад

I bet we do! I think a sense of humor is something we're born with, but what form it takes mostly is learned, from our families, early on.@@cecile-p

@autisticjenny 4 месяца назад

I love humor too! :)

@JeanetteInANutshell 4 месяца назад

I understand completely what you are saying about slower processing time. Often I have said something hastily that is a totally inappropriate response sometimes using humour too when I shouldn't. I think this is a strategy to fill the gap/silence which exists otherwise whilst I process. It's when the masking gets me into trouble and afterwards will cause me anxiety replaying the interaction wishing I could change it. 😢

@autisticjenny 4 месяца назад

If I could count the amount of times I said something I wish I wouldn't have. It's good to connect with other people, thank you for sharing that. I would love to get where I don't mask anymore, but it's really hard not to when we've been doing it so many years.

@JeanetteInANutshell 4 месяца назад

Thankyou for putting the effort into making your videos. I've subscribed to channels as am going through the diagnostic process in the UK at moment aged 51. It gives me comfort to know others think like me and have struggled through life like me. I feel also that I'd like to help others with it one day and think this is a common thing for us to feel this. The saying goes I believe "Sharing is Caring". ❤

@AutisticNotAlien 4 месяца назад

@@JeanetteInANutshell Good luck with your diagnosis, Jeanette. I was diagnosed in the UK last year aged 41.

@JeanetteInANutshell 4 месяца назад

@AutisticNotAlien thankyou. I'm very much enjoying your videos too. I hope you continue them, I particularly like the humour.

@AutisticNotAlien 4 месяца назад

@@JeanetteInANutshell Thank you very much! That's made my day.

@leishawalker5916 4 месяца назад

Another video that I can relate to

@autisticjenny 4 месяца назад

Thank you Leisha!

@melissacahill1405 4 месяца назад

Nice video. Thank you Jenny! I find you video very relatable since we are close to the same age.

@autisticjenny 4 месяца назад

Love that!

@InterDivergent 16 дней назад

Your eye colour is beautiful and I've noticed that they really pop when you are wearing blue.

@autisticjenny 3 дня назад

thank you!

@tallulah320 4 месяца назад

I do agree that the medical field should know how to work with all disabilities. Law enforcement included. I have autism on my medical I.D. bracelet. I think there should be something in every state that shows police officers that we may have a harder time responding and why. Twice at work recently I was walking in a faster gate than normal. I was trying to process something and my face was blank. I was told that I looked crazy. I don't get it. This is when I don't know if it's a joke or not. Judgment ugh.

@autisticjenny 4 месяца назад

Can I ask, do your coworkers know of your autism? They should be less concerned about how you look and more concerned about doing their job. It's hard to be ourselves and not mask at work with comments like that.

@tallulah320 4 месяца назад

@@autisticjenny Yes some do. I have only just recently shared being autistic. I was told in a women's autism group to never tell anyone. Not your friends, family or your work. It has been uncomfortable at work for me since the day I disclosed. I was and still am getting close to burn out. I'm just trying to make it to my retirement in 3 years. I just focus on the solution not the problem. Everyday is different. I do feel very fortunate to be working with such wonderful children. Plus I can stim all day with them 💕 fabulous!!

@robintaylor7600 4 месяца назад

Wow. I've only been recently diagnosed and I don't know that I will be 'coming-out' at work. I work in disability services for a college but I think some people would treat me differently if they knew. I appreciate the advice from your group. I have been embracing my ND regardless. So, if someone made that comment to me, I would straight up ask, "is that a joke or advice?" I would probably have to ask a couple of days later since I'm a very slow processor too.

@tallulah320 4 месяца назад

@@robintaylor7600 I understand. I work for a school district. In the Sped. Dept. I felt like my credibility did go down. That doesn't mean everyone will react that way if you disclose. I just wish I would have made a different choice. Which is sad to say but true.

@InterDivergent 16 дней назад

I don't get tones, I can't hear them, nor can I reproduce them accurately or at all. If I get exciting I increase my volume (unknowingly), and NT's think that I'm getting angry when it's the exact opposite. If it happens enough, I will actually get angry because I'm upset that I was excited and others didn't understand. It's so frustrating. Sometimes it's better just not to say anything at all.

@cecile-p 4 месяца назад

Great video Jenny ! I don't know if you have that in english, but in french, there's a (stupid !) kid's game where somebody asks questions, and the player can answer anything except "yes" and "no". I feel everyday like everybody is playing that game, for all their life ! I agree with everything you said, but I'm quite good with sarcasm. Hi new doggy ! One of my cats died today, it was hard to focus on a video, sorry. Have a nice day !

@autisticjenny 4 месяца назад

Cecile, let me tell you I am sincerly sorry about your loss. :( I know how much they are like family. Take time to heal. Hugs!

@cecile-p 4 месяца назад

@@autisticjenny Thank you, I really appreciate. Hugs !

@scherzo12222 4 месяца назад

Oh Cecile---I am very sorry to hear you lost one of your little friends!! ❤❤

@cecile-p 4 месяца назад

@@scherzo12222 Thank you, it means a lot to me. Only 2 left, it's the problem with having only old cats.

@scherzo12222 4 месяца назад

I have 2 also, Cecile. My sweet & funny Keera will be 11 next month but she is still my kitten! Hester is 6 but has breast cancer so I have constant anxiety about her. Their lives are so much shorter than ours, so we have to go through this sorrow many times. But even so, I can't imagine not having such dear companions during the course of my life.@@cecile-p

@stephencolligan 4 месяца назад

I wonder,considering autism is a spectrum disorder,if all AS people only use conversation as a means for exchanging information,or if any actually do like to chit chat,even if it’s on a much smaller scale than NT’s do. I’d imagine not,as chit chatting relies more on intonation and facial expression than fact relaying does.

@autisticjenny 4 месяца назад

Well, I know that's the case for me. And I hope that more Autistic people will comment on that. I am really curious to know. I imagine it's the case really for most of us.

@Catlily5 4 месяца назад

I can find some chatting interesting if it is about how people are getting along with other people. Otherwise it is boring.

@autisticjenny 4 месяца назад

@@Catlily5 I realized after you made that comment that it is possible some autistic people don't feel the same way I do. I suspect because I have been rejected or hurt many times, I fear conversation. Boy, am I learning a lot about myself on this channel. Plus I think I struggle with Alexithymia and to understand other people's emotions.

@Catlily5 4 месяца назад

@@autisticjenny I think understanding why people act the way they do is a special interest so if the chat is about how people respond to one another then I am interested. If it is about fashion, celebrities, TV shows I don't watch, or sports then I could care less.

@stephencolligan 4 месяца назад

As an NT,contributing to this,from the “outside” as it were,the AS person I was close to definitely struggled with,what was to me ,easy chit chat. Often there would be silence between us,and I would think to myself “why isn’t she speaking? “ ,and then she’d ask “what are you thinking?” . She just couldn’t really speak without there being an information gain to be had . All this is very enlightening to me.

@MOLLYversion7.0 4 месяца назад

Embarrassing, but quite amusing is my spontaneuous italian accent and words I picked up from one of my favourite colleagues. Comes in ĥandy and it will stay with me for life. I script conversations, letters and emails... write lists in my head with future gifts to give people, considerate questions. I have trouble putting it into practice, and all the well-intended scripting seems a bit redundant 😮😂❤ Thank you for quietly mentioning the times you went silent... sadly I can relate. I was in an abusive relationship once too... sometimes happened and I stuttered for 1-2 weeks afterwards. Thank you again for sharing ❤

@autisticjenny 4 месяца назад

Thank you for making me feel like I'm not alone. :) I'm sorry you went through an abusive relationship. I too, have been through a couple of those. And I wouldn't doubt that women on the spectrum are more likely to go through that. But hey, we are ok now. :) Thank you for commenting!

@MOLLYversion7.0 4 месяца назад

@jennyaspie Thank you again Jenny 🩵 I am 31yrs and I am also realising my mum is autistic too! Some of your videos are really helping me figure out some of the behaviours that have caused many ill feelings and friction between us. 😁 we're making progress. All of us 😊🥰

@autisticjenny 4 месяца назад

@@MOLLYversion7.0 that is good news! :) I think my dad is autistic. I want him to do an online test. He turns 80 this year.

@Intensive_Porpoises 4 месяца назад

I'm not sure if my problem is social anxiety disorder or Autism. I don't say anything because I don't feel like I have anything to say. I think asking people things like how their weekend was is rude because I don't actually want to know. I'd be lying to them by asking. I'm also unsure of the timing of things like shaking someone's hand or saying good morning. I'm also concerned about people finding me amusing and laughing at me.

@autisticjenny 4 месяца назад

Thanks for sharing here. Have you tried an online autism test, like on autism360 site? It helps I think. Some people want to seek a professional diagnosis while some people are ok with self-diagnosis. My official diagnosis is Social Anxiety Disorder and Autism, so I guess it's possible to have both. I love british humor. I'm a fan of bathroom humor. I hope you find peace.