How Friendship Can Work For You, Autistic Human... 

For me its also sharing common interests. Having a deep trust. Truth telling and the ability to be vulnerable when needed. Mutual support without codependence. But if to sum it up in one word: RELIABILITY. And yes, i go radio silent when im struggling. Im trying to change this around as i see it caused me to isolate. The right people will listen to your situation and provide kind words. Ive told a friend im autistic today and she told me about an health condition no one knew about. It paid off to open up. But make sure its someone trustworthy with years of a positive history with you.

I think it is important to make a distinction between friends and people who are friendly towards you. Coworkers are in this sort of area where they can be extremely friendly but they might not be considered friends. What qualifies as a friend to me is people who interact with you in a friendly manner because they want to and not because they have to. Unfortunately some people on the spectrum get taken advantage of because they fail to see bullies who pose as friends. I could give personal examples but I am sure you all know what I am talking about.

Thank you for this video Jenny. Before my diagnosis eight months ago I had a lot of friends and I was invited to loads of social events. I heavily masked and was not the “real” me. Now I’m masking much less and a lot of these people are distancing themselves from me. That’s ok though. A few friends have sticked around. I think shared interests and being authentic is key to make and maintain friendships. And totally unmasking will be a good test to see who your real friends are. I am doing it gradually because I am afraid I will lose the few friends I have. But it has to be done. I just have to be patient and see what happens.

Authenticity is very important, shared common interest and a non judgemental personality, give and take is essential within our limits. Friendship shouldn't feel like work it should be a joy...so high maintenance people are problematic as friends. I've also been taken advantage of by people I believed to be friends but turned out they were only out for themselves.

Traits i would look for in friends are being s genuine person, loyalty , truthful and just being able to feel comfortable whilst in their presence. Thank you for the video jenny🙋‍♂️

Thanks for this very helpful advice, Jenny. I have made new friends, for the first time in ages, right here through this wonderful and unique channel of yours.😊🦋

A great video, Jenny. I've lost a whole lot of friendships through the years due to overwhelm, and it's been really hard to explain to them why I can't cope with any intensity. 🧡

This has really hit home with me. I don't have friends. I struggle with this. I feel I don't trust people . If I make a mistake and say the wrong thing I am often shut out. I don't meet other ASD adult women. I don't do social media except watching RU-vid. Clubs are hard for me . That's alot of social expectations and people.

Hi Jenny ! I'm slowly coming back to life, and this video is perfect, thank you for being my friend ! My definition would be 2 people with at least 1 common interest, who share true understanding, acceptance of the other's differences and struggles without judging, and trust, and who feel joy or stimulation, or both when interacting, and of course who care about the well being of each other. Oh, and no need to mask, this one is important ! The way of communication doesn't matter, in person, by text, by mail, as long as communication is genuine. I relate very much with Alejandro's comment. Have a beautiful day !

love your definition of friendship. my intense interests are autism, art and vintage toys.

I don't think that I have had friends since elementary school. Perhaps, this was a time when we were just kids, without inhibitions. I was definitely from the generation, that lived on their bikes and didn't come home till dark. Friendship wasn't defined, it was just natural. Sometimes your "best" friend was whoever was allowed for a sleepover. Friendship in adult life, is much harder! I never changed my interests much, I still like to talk about nature and animals. I would love a friend to do art with.

I think several of my friends from school are probably autistic. But I am not in touch with them now.

Thanks for another great video Jenny - and thanks so much for your kind shout out! 😊

Friendship is hard. I have to say I havent been a great friend. I have never had many friends but struggle with keepiing friendshiips up.