I live in the United States and I have had my license for almost 55 years. I feel fortunate to live in a very rural area as I hate multi-lane roads of all kinds, traffic lights, traffic circles, any merging traffic situations and any and all big city driving. My maximum comfortable speed is about 50 mph. Needless to say I don't do any more long-distance driving which is fine with me. I can drive into town on either gravel roads or a highway with with very wide shoulders that allows me to pull over and let faster traffic pass easily. I am also very prone to getting motion sickness. My car is a 22 year old Jeep Wrangler with a manual transmission and hand-cranked windows. I hate automatic windows. I haven't gotten in even a minor traffic accident nor have even received a moving- vehicle violation for over half a century. I might mention that I am very much autistic. I liked your video.
I love driving when it's well lit (preferably full daylight) and a very familiar route with light traffic. Heavy traffic, being someplace unfamiliar, or driving at night (especially on a badly-lit highway) causes me a lot of anxiety.
Another really interesting subject - keep it up!I took lessons as a teenager, not because I wanted to - parents insisted. They couldn't drive and wanted someone to chauffeur them about. Absolutely hated it and haven't driven since. I am really uncoordinated and had no hope of managing all four limbs and my head in an organised way. Plus, I am compelled to read all the text I see. Either doing this, or fighting the compulsion, reduced my concentration on the road to a dangerous level. Like you, I cannot talk in a car - hadn't picked this up as selective mutism - duh! 🤣I've also had issues with motion sickness -only in cars. I definitely prefer public transport. For years, when my kids were young and I worked full time, the forty minutes on the bus to work was the nearest I got to alone time. Now, I can pick quiet times to travel - and my free bus pass is one of my favourite things in the world.
@@CreativeAutistic My dad worked for a bus company when I was small. Maybe seeing behind the scenes with him, and meeting loads of bus drivers and conductors, helped me feel better about it.
Lizzie, the topics you bring up on this channel are SOOOO relatable to me. I don't drive and have not for about 30 years because it's so anxiety provoking for me. I hate being a passenger as well...I get horrible car sickness too!! When I was in my 20's, my family lived in a rural area and - like you - I did enjoy driving on lonely roads, but highway driving terrified me. About 8 years ago, I moved to a small college town with good public transportation, which enables me to walk or bus to most places. My life is very small because of this, but it's a trade-off: a "bigger" life and massive anxiety or a "small" life and less anxiety - I am ok with the latter. Also, your last video about alcohol? That's me too!! The sketch of you saying "I love REM!!" cracked me up so hard - that's me!! My response was so lengthy that I had just decided to not respond...but goodness, Lizzie - I relate to you so much. Thank you for talking about these things, which can feel so hard and alienating. 💜
@@CreativeAutistic Discovering REM as a "weirdo" (autistic), isolated teen was such a revelation. To my eyes and ears, there was nothing else like them - BEST EVER indeed!
Stipe's lyrics really set them apart. Instead of churning out love songs he wrote about the confusion of being a (weird) human - well that's how I interpreted them anyway. I had a big crush on him for years 🧡
@@CreativeAutistic I agree. And when he did eventually write a few love songs, they were about the anxiety and complications of love. Yes, just my interpretation as well. Peter Buck was/is my R.E.M crush; I just adore him. ❤️ 😍
It took me two and a half years and a very kind and patient driving instructor to master driving in a manual, and I've never enjoyed driving - there's too much information and I tend to over-think, which makes me a cautious and safe driver, but not a relaxed one! And I now have a lot of joint/back related pain issues which driving does not help. BUT I so much prefer driving over taking public transport, where so much more is out of my control and there are all the social conventions, sensory challenges etc. to navigate. Crowds of people make me really anxious, partly because I always have this sense that I might be about to do something completely crazy. I have the opposite problem with talking (I am AuDHD and blurting/lack of control of speech is a pronounced part of my features-I-can't-mask presentation) - if someone else is in the car and wants to talk AT ALL (or I feel an obligation TO talk e.g. a new person or someone I feel awkward around) then I do talk but it becomes stream of conciousness, I can't control the thoughts that should stay IN - which has led to me being accused of road rage when I honestly don't feel that, because my chat is interspersed with surface thoughts like "man in green car, what are you doing? Are you trying to merge? Yes? OK then, I'll just ease up a little" or "come on white car, I'm doing just above the speed limit, there's no point driving right up my tailpipe, it's not going to make me go faster, calm down" - these aren't angry thoughts, just processing ones. On the road rage thing - one reason I don't have it is, I think, that my driving instructor suggested that when someone was driving really erratically or agressively I should assume they had something going on; the thought I came up with is that they have a sick bunny in a box in the back seat and are trying to get to the vet. not sure why bunny, as I'm very much a cat person, but it worked very well in helping me not think about them being unreasonable, and focusing on protecting myself and other road users by driving extra safely, letting them cut in if they were aggressively pushing to etc. I wish I had a partner who drove. Passenger isn't great either (although passenger-with-paper-map worked better for me in the Old Days) but the pre-emptive anxiety I have around driving any distance is so disruptive it would be nice to, well, have company. Tolerant, understanding company of course!" Because I am VERY annoying. My autistic nibling learnt in an automatic with an instructor who specialised in neurodivergent students, passed with no problems, and loves driving around with their music on in their little box. _BUT_ they get to drive a lovely modern car (shared with their mother at the moment) unlike the very old (but much loved) VW beetle I shared with my Mum and sister when I started), and they have far more self-confidence about certain kinds of performance than I have ever had which seems to include driving. My sister (as far as we know neurotypical) is the kind of driver who always drives as if she is right and everyone else will conform, nothing at all defensive or over-thinking, and my brother-in-law drove for work, so perhaps that has something to do with it (my Dad loved to drive so he was in control and drove veteran cars until he had children and reluctantly moved up to a VW beetle and later to more "normal" cars, my Mum only learnt in her 40s and was/is a terribly nervous driver - as children we were trained to Not Talk To Daddy whilst he was driving... and yes, I was very car sick, to the point that there is a gateway about ten miles from our old house on the route from home to the motorway going to visit our grandparents which was pointed out as the "first place we have to pull in because Jane is sick" on long journeys for about 25 years until my parents left the area).
Yes!!! I'm thrilled to see this subject discussed as I feel driving in postindustrial society is an apt metaphor for the autistic experience (and I should add I'm coming at this subject with the added benefit of decades' worth of experience as a road bicyclist as well as a driver.) Given that we autists are naturally tuned to hypersensitivity (incidentally I wonder if it ought to be instead called "hyperreceptivity," but I digress), being in a vehicle the physics of which (e.g. speed, mass, etc.) surpass human limitations, our general state of public hypervigilance is immediately engaged the minute a car starts moving with us inside. It forces us to proactively anticipate potential crises over which a human body has very little control; we're literally in the belly of a mechanical whale and completely at its mercy. That said, bicycling for so many years has provided some contrasting insights. Primarily, one is not contained by a bicycle and interacts/engages with one's surroundings at speeds and a scale that are much more natural to the human body. We remain, for lack of a better term, participants in the natural world i.e. we're not cut off from the world by thick layers of plastic, glass, and metal; in terms of psychological effects this is critical, in that one is not cut off from the public space through which one travels and therefore one retains a sense of physical connection with the natural world and elements. There is something very humbling about cycling through wind or rain, knowing that one has no control of these things and we have to work with them in space rather than expect to conquer and vanquish them with ostensibly "superior" technology as our weapon. Which is to say, automobile-dependent society's attitude towards the natural world is inherently antagonistic, regardless of the fact that we as a living animal species are still very much subject to its laws. The autistic part of myself remains wholly attuned to those laws and limitations even when artificially carapaced by a surrounding automobile, so that containment is inherently problematic in that one is expected to endure feeling like a caged animal for the duration of the trip (incidentally one's autistic monotropism is also not so severely disrupted by a service stop via bicycle, because again, one is not abruptly transitioning out of a contained environment, which, come to think of it, feels a lot like being an alien emerging from its spaceship.) As normalized as automotive transportation has become I think it's the most inhuman practice our species has ever adopted.
I've always always always had anxiety around driving. I have a limited driving range and I will not drive on highways or in cities. I might try a smart car at some point. driving isn't for everyone. there's no shame in choosing not to drive
Quite a bit resonates there. I also had to travel in the front seat as a child because of car sickness I get the road rage when I see selfish drivers or speeding Rather travel on backroads than motorways I have always found my car to be my safe place particularly when I need to go away for work or with other people. I like to take my own car so I have a place to escape to if I get overwhelmed. I feel trapped if I can’t escape. My first car was an old Toyota Corona that was first registered in the year and month of my birth. Looking back, I had a real Autistic attachment to that car and drove it till it died several years later. Even then I found it difficult to part with it and it sat in my parents front yard for several years until it really had to be disposed of. It had the letters JYL in the numberplate so I called it Jill. Every car I have had since I have subsequently named Jill also.
@@CreativeAutistic My cousin tried to tell me that if I moved back to America I'd do better with driving now because cars have a lot of new safety features like cameras for blind spots and proximity alarms.... gurl, they didn't 20 years ago and that's how old my car would be anyway.
It’s difficult to find manual transmission cars in the U.S., so I have primarily driven automatic vehicles. I’m with you on the road rage. Yelling obscenities at bad drivers is just part of my driving routine. I don’t like others in the car, but drive fine in all conditions when alone. Other people are my autistic kryptonite. I had a rare driving meltdown in the insane San Francisco traffic when my partner at the time refused to navigate and I missed an exit. They expected me to listen to the computer voice on the maps app, while they also talked to me, and focus on the roadway in an unfamiliar city. Ugh! When I retire, I hope to move to a place with good public transportation, so I never need to drive.
I don't drive, I've never even had a lesson at 43 as the whole thing just seems utterly overwhelming and completely beyond my capabilities that the very thought of it panics me. I've read loads on the subject and it simply adds to the overwhelm. I also struggle with interoception and knowing where I am in space even when walking and feel clumsy and awkward enough on foot, so behind wheels that could potentially kill someone would be a disaster waiting to happen. I struggled with bikes too once the stabilisers came off and didn't have the confidence to try cycling on the road. I felt pathetic and ashamed in saying that I feel this incapable of even trying something, especially before I was diagnosed, but I feel that I now have a valid reason for why it was one of the lowest points on my spiky profile.
I think many of us feel the same way about something in our lives. One area for me was public speaking - or even just speaking to a small group of people (which is weird considering I have a RU-vid channel!) My past colleagues seemed to do it with ease but I would always be fighting back tears and it was just so embarrassing. Autism explains so much for so many of us 🧡
I basically have a phobia of driving although it has definitely lessened a lot, if I am driving on a familiar route I can listen to the radio and be alright. I hated learning and would often get overwhelmed. Motorways + Roundabouts cause me a lot of stress!
I can drive, but I hate it. Unfortunately, I live in small city in the US, which means that public transportation is practically nonexistent; driving is not optional. Why I hate it: my spacial reasoning isn't great (so I can't tell where the edges of my car are), I have no sense of direction, and it's extremely dangerous. There's a lot happening at the same time, in every direction, and everyone else always seems to be in a rush. Add this to the fact that I drove beaters for a long time, so unexpected noises and break-downs were a regular occurrence, and the snowy, icy, dark winters, and driving is designed to make me anxious. Traffic accidents and fatalities are a very real concern; I have to force myself not to think about that. Unlike you, I enjoy highway driving because there are no unexpected driveways or intersections and all of the roads and exits are clearly marked. I can follow the same road for hours at no risk of getting lost. That's something, at least.
Thank you for sharing. I imagine that I'd much prefer, even maybe enjoy, (quiet) American highways as UK motorways are mostly rammed with cars so I find them terrifying. 🧡
Overall I agree, driving is too stressful. I am happy to now live in a city with good public transportation,. It is noisy and crowded.... but not driving makes it worth it since my work schedule has my commute outside rush hour times, and I'm learning how to manage the noise with different earphone/plug options. BUT... I love a stick shift. Maybe it is the ADHD overtaking the autism in this context. I like driving with a quiet conversational passenger as well. Keeps my brain in the car. And the stick shift i like because I become part of the machine, like riding a bike. Driving a manual on a country road *bliss*. Automatic in the city 😬😒😒
I passed my driving test at 19 and don't know how, I crashed into a hedge a ditch and just could not get the hang of it especially reversing, I think with being dyslexic I couldn't seem to get reversing and what way to turn the wheel, needless to say I took the smart decision never to drive again a couple of months after I passed 😂👍🏼❤️
Oh my god Sally - I'm so sorry but I just burst out laughing at this! 😆 Oh, what a shame though, and reversing is SO bloody difficult (and don't get me started on parallel parking - how do people do it????) 😬🧡
I had eight lessons in a manual car but i found it an awful experience. I would dread the lessons and have bad dreams about driving. I just couldn't stop shaking during the lessons. Which was embarassing. I was going through a terrible experience in my private life at the time so it was all just to much like trying to juggle plates and they all fell to the floor and smashed.🙋♂️