Autism Late Diagnosis In Adulthood | Family and Friends

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Thomas Henley reacts to Mom On The Spectrum's video on what she wished her friends and family understood about coming out as a late-diagnosed Autistic adult
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Опубликовано:

16 янв 2024

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Комментарии : 41

@TheMightyPika 6 месяцев назад

Before I was diagnosed Autistic at 27 I genuinely believed I was insane.

@ThomasHenley 6 месяцев назад

I thought I was some kind of otherworldly during secondary school, it was a crazy time!

@knrdvmmlbkkn 5 месяцев назад

"Before I was (...) I was insane." Same here. I, too, genuinely believed that you were insane.

@derp195 5 месяцев назад

I was afraid I was a psychopath or something because of masking.

@chesneymigl4538 2 месяца назад

Yup, that's what it feels like. Diagnosed at 38.

@CareyBelcherCarryOnAdventures 6 месяцев назад

So I think that autistics with low communication abilities are the "stereotype" and are therefore more visible. Those of us who were late diagnosed were, and still are, mostly invisible and are often told we're not autistic by others. We basically mask well enough to get by, but my entire life has been a struggle. I'm still struggling, but knowing that I'm autistic and understanding why I'm struggling really helps me have empathy for myself rather than hating myself for failing at being a "normal" adult.

@studiotom 6 месяцев назад

Right, that’s why it’s a spectrum. For example, I’m the kind of autistic who taught myself to read when I was two years old, and I’ve since learned five languages at least semi-fluently, plus a little bit of several others too. I just self-diagnosed as autistic last year, at the age of 51.

@chesneymigl4538 2 месяца назад

That's exactly the tragedy. The more we get by with just masking the more burnt out we get, and the greater our support needs become. But because we "don't look autistic" the help just isn't there and being a late diagnosed adult makes it orders of magnitude harder. We made it this far, so others assume that there must be something that triggers this. I've been accused of "wanting to be disabled" or just being "unwilling to work" or "too stuck up or proud to change". DAFUQ?!

@SatansWerewolf 6 месяцев назад

I self dx-ed as autistic in May of '23. I also struggle with trusting people, so I don't try to make friends anymore. It's lonely, but safer, imo.

@SatansWerewolf 6 месяцев назад

I also have a formal autism assessment scheduled in spring.

@galespressos 6 месяцев назад

Relate. Was thinking similarly about “friends”.

@jakke1975 Месяц назад

It's worth having friends, even if only a few. I only have 2 (real) friends and I wouldn't know what I'd be (or even if I'd still be) without them. Loneliness is a b*$ch. At least, if you cannot make a human connection, have a pet for emotional support... we're all human and we all have situations where that's incredibly needed.

@chesneymigl4538 2 месяца назад

My parents accused me of "wanting to be disabled". I made it through multiple higher degrees and only hit burn out at 35. Explain to me how someone with a BS in biology an MS in chemistry and my LVT "wants to be disabled". It's not a wont, it's a can't, function.

@majamannhard443 6 месяцев назад

Love the matching outfits

@nothingtoit142 2 месяца назад

Same! Looks so comfy too.

@cmdrpanditt 6 месяцев назад

Its really hard. Ive been very very lucky in that my previous job let me mould it to my own capability... to a point, then i just needed to grit teeth and power through. Im in mid 40s and thats going to be an ongoing battle to make work work for me

@cmdrpanditt 6 месяцев назад

The duck thing is so flicking right! And my own expectation of myself is the hardest hurdle to meet. Taylor is right about the difficulties.. things I get catastrophic about, others go 'oh well' . I'm definite I think different to some aound me, ie coroporate ladder stupidness, but I think similar to mates who are diagnosed. I'm very tired alot of the time.. I need to go about things differently

@knrdvmmlbkkn 5 месяцев назад

@@cmdrpanditt"The duck thing is so flicking right!" Probably more like flying, if it's a bird.

@VirtualscreenPerson 2 месяца назад

I was diagnosed in April, both of my kids are autistic and I saw similarities, the main thing that really started making myself question was, I am not like other parents. I know parents experience "touched out" but mine was way different than being touched out. Well i was diagnosed, and I was told by a family that i was not allowed to started "identifying" as autistic and my husband had told me, "you went a long time without the label, you don't need it, you got by without it". Wanted to be understood better, nope still in the same place. Can't show myself overwhelmed because, "you're letting your diagnosis hinder you". I just feel bad for my kids, hearing those comments from my family members, they are going to invalidate my children's needs. People just suck.

@chesneymigl4538 2 месяца назад

I'm so sorry you were told that. Just because something was common in the past doesn't mean it was right or appropriate. It's a very slow grind. An analogy is like break wear on a car. You can't see how the break pads wear down on a daily basis. The people around you only noticed that you function properly. Eventually you get to a point where you *cannot* function anymore, and since there is nothing visible on the outside, they assume that nothing has changed on the inside. Instead of acknowledging that just because you can't see the stress and wear doesn't mean it's not happening, the response from others is more like, "Your breaks worked fine for years, there's no reason for them to fail now">

@yoni-in-BHAM 6 месяцев назад

Missed another one! 😮‍💨 Getn' old... Mom On the Spectrum is another RU-vidr I follow. 👍🏽

@teacherchipiona6508 6 месяцев назад

I'm a 41 yr female. Just got official diagnosis and am having mixed feelings about it.

@cmdrpanditt 6 месяцев назад

I'm a 43 Yr old male thinking I'm likely on this spectrum. 60% of my feiends are now diagnosed. It wasn't "a thing" for us in this age group.. its hard. Just know your not the only one there's others about to share experiences with. I hope this is helpful

@teacherchipiona6508 6 месяцев назад

Thank you @@cmdrpanditt

@christinelamb1167 5 месяцев назад

I'm 60 years old, and just got officially diagnosed about a few months ago. For me it has been so validating, because I have suspected that I'm autistic for probably about 10 years now. I asked several psychiatrists and psychotherapists about it years ago, but it was quickly brushed off. I am very high masking, and have sort of learned to fit in to the NT world all my life (mostly not very successfully). Becausse of my high intelligence and ability to mask, I fell through the cracks on being properly diagnosed earlier in my life. I feel like so many puzzle pieces have come together for me, and so many questions answered, because of finally getting properly diagnosed. Now, the task has become finding ways to accomodate myself better, so that I can feel more comfortable in my daily life. I also am trying to find ways to find other autistics to be friends with in real life (I have a few online).

@knrdvmmlbkkn 5 месяцев назад

@@cmdrpanditt"I'm a 43 (...) on this spectrum." Same here, but that's coming to an end in a couple of days.

@AutisticActuary 2 месяца назад

I got my official diagnosis 2 weeks ago and I am still working through it - told my immediate family. (I am 52yo, professional, high IQ, very high masking) I am working towards telling others. I am working on setting accomodations for myself on things to make life a bit easier (and I understand why I feel certain ways much better now). One thing that I find helps is the point of view - this shouldn't change your view of yourself, but help you understand yourself better. One topic that does scare me is 'unmasking' - who am I versus my mask, etc. For now I have decided to work on small changes that make a difference.

@toni5543 6 месяцев назад

Epic mate. Thank you for making the video. Loving the content.

@Christine83507 5 месяцев назад

No one would say “why get a diagnosis” for any other condition. Life doesn’t stop at any age as long as you’re breathing. All people deserve medical and mental health care for their concerns if they want it.

@kylealfonse6196 6 месяцев назад

I asked a friend to watch this even though there are many other things that make me "different" which i have also started understanding. My temper has been over the top in line with borderline which g am diagnosed with also if there is Comorbility, Which i can see some triggers in line with things like overstimulation, routine, plans and communication. One of the hardest things I've ever been told when worried about a social meeting has been "just be yourself". I have also always wondered how most seem have so much more energy and stress tolerance than me... Seems there are some things in this I've said along the way. I researched for a couple months because i saw a couple guys say they had hfa and they didn't fit the stereotype i had in my mind, self diagnosed then received a formal but without the full assessment. Hope things get better and we start talking again. Not drinking makes for a better person too. So much i never fully grasped

@kylealfonse6196 6 месяцев назад

Should mention i can identify some narcissistic behaviors that g have also. I'm struggling to understand the difference between being proud of an achievement and and full of yourself. Easy to laugh at something you don't understand I still have a lot of improvement to make and have lost my sense of self

@kylealfonse6196 6 месяцев назад

Sure of something and grandiose too?

@chesneymigl4538 2 месяца назад

@12:00 Yes! That's the new autism symbol: a duck!🦆🦆🦆

@derp195 5 месяцев назад

About the age thing, nobody would say "pshh - you're 35. Whats the point of getting a bipolar/Crohn's/anxiety diagnosis at this point?" Like at a certain point apparently I'm your 30s, you're supposed to sit quietly and wait to die.

@splabbity 6 месяцев назад

Overstimulation, routine, plans and communication. Or, as I like to call them, "The Four Horsemen".

@k98killer 5 месяцев назад

I have noticed for a long time that I tend to be a different person around others than I am when in my comfortable solitude. That other guy makes decisions I tend to regret when alone with my thoughts.

@turtleanton6539 6 месяцев назад

😊😊😊

@merbst 6 месяцев назад

I've been around here in California 42 years, & was once very popular for a while of my years 18-25. But because of the tendency of my peers to get married and become parents around age 30, and to ostracize the childless, I have only a few friends remaining who I can meet once a year. I do have a 12 year old son, but he was stolen from me by a criminal racket, & sold to religious extremists living 4000 mikes away, with our communication limited to a 20 minute phonecall on his birthday each year, to continue years of sabotage of any possibikity of maintaining parental attachment by coordinared violations of criminal thugs to violare my civil & human rights because they have enough wealth to pay for mercenaries to take anything someone else may have that they covet, because their only ethical principle is "might makes right"!